Jack Kammerer's 1996 standup routine satirizes gender roles and male insecurity. He jokes about department store segregation, mocks the pressure on men to be sensitive, and offers five tips for women seeking "emotional intercourse" with their partners, emphasizing patience and respect.
Okay, this next video is about me doing a little stand-up comedy on a small Maryland TV show in 1996. And I hope it inspires you to maybe give stand-up a little try, because comedy can be a great way to get people to acknowledge the truth.
Did you ever notice that it's never men who say it's a man's world? I mean, whenever I go walking through the shopping malls and the department stores, I have to wonder if maybe it isn't a woman's world in some ways too. I mean, the women's departments are huge and there are so many of them. And they have all these really jazzy names like Attitudes and Hot Stuff and Showtime and Angénus. Men's clothing is all in one department: Duds. Another reason it's not a man's world is that men have tons of insecurities, and women know exactly how to exploit those insecurities to keep us in line. For instance, when men want to keep women out of someplace, we'll put up a sign that says, No broads allowed. And that works fine until some woman comes along and tears it down and says, "Oh yeah, try and stop me." Women know though that when they want to keep us out of someplace, all they need to do is paint that place pink and put up a sign that says, "Spa lady," and we won't go within 100 yards of that place. How do you like all this talk about men needing to be more sensitive? Personally, I think it's craziness. If men suddenly became more sensitive and nothing else changed in our lives, all we'd feel is more pain. Here's a conversation between a woman and a sensitive man. The man says, "Hi, sure is a pretty night. Never been on a cruise before. Just wish we weren't on the Titanic." "That's a bummer." "Listen, I'm a very sensitive man, and before you get into that lifeboat and leave me here to drown, I'd really like to share my feelings with you. I'm feeling very sad. I'm feeling like I'm really going to miss my wife and kids back in Kokomo. I'm feeling that we should flip a coin to see who gets the last seat in that lifeboat. And the woman says, "Oh, that's so beautiful. I so much admire a man who's in touch with his feelings. Have a nice swim." It's sort of like a good news/bad news joke. You know, the good news is that women want men to be more sensitive. The bad news is that they want us to be more sensitive to them. Many women have said that men don't express their feelings, that they don't open up, that they never want to talk about the relationship. Okay, well, I have some ideas about this problem. You know that word intercourse? It doesn't just mean having sex. It also means an exchange of thoughts and feelings. You can look it up. This is true, and it's very significant because for every complaint that women can make about how men men try to get sexual intercourse from women, men can make an identical point about how women try to get emotional intercourse from them. So, as a public service, here are 5 helpful tips for women who want their men to engage in more emotional intercourse. Point #1: Don't just snap your fingers and say, "Open up." Point #2: If your man does open up, don't run to your girlfriends and tell them all about what he let you see. Point number 3: You can't rush if you want to achieve simultaneous understandings. Men's understandings take longer because they are deeper and more intense. Number 4: If you force your man into having intercourse when he doesn't really want to, he'll probably fake an understanding just to get it over with. And number 5, and most important, if your man puts out for you and tells you how he really feels about something, even if you don't like what he has to say, respect him in the morning. Thank you. My name's Jack Kammerer. Back to Larry. Good night.
