Jacob pharmD

Okay, how far away are you guys?

I'm in the barn.

Okay, excellent. Me too.

Next to each other. Where are you?

I'm in the barn.

Um, I'm kind of doing my own thing this time, I think.

Okay, I'm gonna drop the cake by Brandon by the flag.

I'll be— I'll be to you guys in a jiffy, okay?

Here, you can have this, Jacob. Oh God, we're being shot at.

Don't worry, guys, there's a lot of people and a lot of swords here. A lot of people with a lot of swords here.

That's okay, me and Brandon got this.

This guy really tried. He really tried that.

You do your thing. Get in that, get in that goddamn keg, Brandon.

Wow!

We're getting shot at again!

Woo!

Oh geez!

Look at you! Just got out.

Just—

oh, that's what we get.

We get Rewarded.

We get perps for that.

Why do you get perks? Here, come get over here.

Uh, I'm getting shot at, I'm not gonna lie.

Oh, we figured.

I don't know why I would ever lie about that, but—

Yeah, Jacob, we know.

What else is new, bud?

I'm kinda—

I'm just one wiener out in the world. I, I'll make my way to you guys. I'm pretty, I'm pretty confident in my capabilities of running.

I'm pretty comfortable with, uh, with Brandon. Brandon, you don't need that, but Jacob, here's a big right here when you get to us.

Okay.

And there might be some spray or something by the flag.

Um, okay. Oh, ballsack.

Brandon, there's a blue SMG. There's another big for you, Jacob. You know what, I'm just gonna pick them up.

I mean, I'm on my way.

Sniper rifle? It's a—

Oh, oh, you see one?

Yeah, you better give it to Travis.

Are you the sniper?

You got ammo for that?

No, but he's running the livestream.

Yes, sir.

I know where—

We always want this sniper. We're all pretty good at sniping though. I imagine you're pretty good at sniping.

Oh, here's an egg.

I'll remember that, I'll remember that.

What the hell is this? Slap juice? It's slap juice, dude. That shit slaps.

Goddammit. And it's juice. Slap juice.

Did you get your sword, Jacob?

I'm st— yeah, I've already got a sword.

Oh good.

I've made it almost.

Yeah, you scrounge around there. There's nobody around there. I need to run over to this key spot real quick.

Cool.

Yeah, you guys do you.

We marked some bigs.

Cool. Yeah, I'll check that.

Here's another one.

I'll pick him up.

Just throw it at him. Yeah.

Nice, I got a medkit.

Oh, that's not what I want.

Oh God, there's a guy right here.

Oh wait, Brandon, Brandon, grab this. Oh God, not that. Brandon, Brandon, grab that.

Oh my God.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

All right, hold up, hold up, hold up.

This guy right here, Brandon. Oh Jesus. Don't worry, I'm coming to steal this kill. Got it. Oh, you deserve— you deserve to have one, Brandon.

Wow. Hey, can I get this sniper ammo?

Yeah, I'd like some.

Oh.

Do you have a sniper?

Yes.

Oh, I have 7 shots.

Oh, I need that big—

Oh, grab that key, Brandon, or somebody. Yeah, I marked it. Oh shit, I should have gotten sniper surplus. Well, phooey.

Yeah, I do that sometimes where I click too fast.

Alright.

I don't like this purple assault rifle I have.

You don't like it? You don't like the Red Eye?

The Red Eye I don't like.

Oh, it's everybody's favorite. I actually prefer the other as well, the DMR.

Oh, same.

I think that they're equal, or I think that they, they hit equally as hard though. I just prefer the sight.

Does anybody carry splashes?

Uh, I will. I do not.

I only have kits and, uh, bigs.

I can carry splashes if you want to carry these slaps.

I don't know what those do.

They're just like, they're 15 Blue and—

They give you health and shield.

Health and shield, yeah.

Oh, they give both? Okay, great.

Well, if you're out of— if you like need health, it'll give you health first, and then once you're at full health, it'll give you shield.

Yep, it's nice. It's like splashes, I guess.

These jellyfish will also give you shield.

Yes, they will. But I think they will—

come on, sniper surplus. There we go.

Nice, I just got it as well.

Yeah, that's the best one.

By far. Um, I do only have one sniper bullet.

I also have one sniper. Oh, I have 7 bullets.

Do you? Uh, all right, we, I, we just gotta find—

Brandon, do you want to pick up that sniper?

We just all gotta find ammo.

And here, I got some ammo for you, Jacob. Where are you?

Oh nice, I just got a key too. I'm over here.

Ammo for you too.

Jacob, where are you?

I'm coming. Thanks.

Oh, that left me with 2 shots.

Here, here.

That's fine.

No, take them. Just do yours. I'll find some. I find— I— there's some ammo right here.

Yeah, that's what I do is just check every little ammo crate.

Yeah.

Oh God, the circle's pretty far. Ooh, are you doing some snipping there?

Oh wow, there's a couple of key—

Brayden, hold on, let me, let me pet that guy. Let me pet that guy real quick. That's nice. That's fun to do. Well, are we gonna just go and retake Frenzy Fields again?

Is that where we came from?

That's where we— that's where it all began. I guess not for you.

Yeah, that's a good point.

Frenzy Fields.

Oh, look at all those guys! Let's just start hammering them.

Do you see them?

Oh yeah.

Oh, I see them.

Dropped him. Nice!

Oh, got him!

I got one too, but I don't think that counted for me. I think I got it.

Brandon?

No, I killed him.

Oh, did ya?

On accident. I, I just— it was like a 50 shot. It was just right before you popped him. I'm getting shot at.

They're right over this hill.

I can't see these guys.

Yeah, why can't I see them either? Oh, they're in a bush! That's why.

That's one. Nice.

That's 2.

And that's the way the cookie crumbles.

And that's the way the cookie crumbles.

Oh, Jacob, I got some sniper ammo for you now.

Ooh, hell yeah. I could use that.

Oh, hold on. Yeah, that's fine.

Perfect. I think I'm solid.

You're Jacob.

Uh, what kind of shotgun?

Just a better one than a green.

Um, I've got a, uh, Key.

I could take a sword though.

There's a key. You could go over to that one over here.

Hey, you might be able to—

I'm down.

You can take that key and shove it where the sun don't shine, Brandon. Brandon, don't ignore me on, on livestream.

You answer him.

You have a good shotgun?

Nope.

Are you kidding me? Oh, we're not going to Loot Island.

Is this what I freaking get?

What did you get, Brandon?

Absolutely nothing.

Oh, dang.

That'll chap some ass.

Oh, I found a blue one on the ground, guys.

Nice.

Oh, there was plenty of blue ones on the ground.

Oh yeah. Wait, blue what? You were looking for a gun?

I said anything better than a green.

Oh, goddamn it.

God, Travis.

Brandon, you need to pay better attention, Travis.

Come on now. Come on now.

All right, let's see here.

There's a lot of chests out there. You find one?

Um, oh, oh yeah, yep, mark them, mark, mark them. Sorry, oh God, it was just a boss. False alarm.

Are you doing Are you doing the hotkeys too, like Brandon?

Yeah, no, that's what happened.

Brandon, do you have a blue shotty? Brandon, this whole ignoring me thing is getting kind of old.

We're gonna be in the center here.

Yes. Oh, why do you talk so quiet, Brandon?

I don't mean to. I pushed talk on, is that why?

Ooh, you have to push a talk button to talk?

Wait, so did you just press a button to say ooh? Isn't that gonna affect your gameplay?

No, no, no, no, no, like I can hold the button, you idiots, to keep talking.

Well, yeah, but isn't that gonna affect a finger that you can't use?

I mean, you don't need all your fingers to play this game.

I use all my fingers.

It's like I'm playing a piano over here.

I use all of my fingers too.

Yeah.

Listen, listen, I know you guys wouldn't understand playing on controllers.

Yeah, I guess I don't quite understand how it would be like I feel like it would be easier to just have it automatically push. Are you saying you have a free hand right now, Brandon?

I've got multiple free hands.

Oh wow, I do see the appeal of gaming on a computer then. There's so many extra hands for activities.

Nice.

Where is everybody?

There's a good question.

I want to kill people in a video game.

I do too. We're just kind of stagnant right now, but God, we're in a— well, we could head— I bet there's some action right there.

Let's go sword-wise if we all come in.

Oh yeah, because we all have swords, Jacob.

Oh, sorry.

Yeah, I ain't got no sword either.

Oh, but we got a bounty.

So far away? Holy shit, that means everybody's over there, Travis.

I don't— I don't know if that's what that means.

I'm pretty sure it does.

There's still 500 teams alive.

I wonder if there's anybody up at Loot Island. I'd sure like to get that pulse rifle.

There's a— there's a pulse rifle in this?

Yeah, it's— it's— you can only get it from Loot Island's flag, and it's just the most epic gun in the game.

Yeah, that sounds badass.

It is. It is badass. It shoots fucking lasers. Lots of dead bodies over there. Let's go scope 'em out, gang.

Alright.

That saying you made up just this just now the stream.

Oh yeah, stay frosty, stay frosty everyone.

Good, good.

Stay frosty San Diego. Oh, there's some more splashes. I already have CX.

I just have three med kits and three bigs.

That's what that's. Clutch.

I have six. I'm being selfish right now.

You go, girl. There's only fifteen. Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh! I'm get covered, get covered, get to cover.

Well, they're on top of the mountain.

Yeah yeah.

Get to cover.

They're pretty good.

Um. Oh, they are so good.

Holy fuck.

Yeah, fuck those guys.

I'm gonna go hide.

I think I'm gonna go hide too.

Oh, never mind that. Holy fucking tits.

I'm gonna come— where are you at? Oh shit, you're gonna die.

Oh geez, they dived on us.

Well, here's the action you wanted, Brandon. And Jacob's just gonna— yep, didn't even have to finish that sentence.

Dude, those guys were fucking legit. The Mike Meister 113.

Oh yeah, he's, he's got a gold name. He's, he's a big ol'— oh yeah, he's on the computer too. Big ol' piece of shit right there.

The Mike Meister. I wonder if that's like a fucking streamer. The Mike Meister.

Why don't you stop promoting him on our channel, Jacob?

He just made— oh my God, it is a streamer!

Oh God.

Guess who has more followers than him though, Trap?

You should tell him to suck a dick. You should go on his stream and be like, you might have beaten us in Fortnite, but check the followers.

Yeah, we got double what he has. What a douche.

He's only got 300 followers. What a nerd. Oh my God, but he's good. He's good though.

He's decent enough.

Nobody wants to see other people play better than us. They just want to watch us play.

I don't know what you're talking about. I'm playing right now, right?

Jacob, no, you're not. It just— on this— on the stream, it shows me and Brandon with 2 big readies over our heads.

It says continue, right?

No. All right, Brandon, we gotta go to the lobby.

No, I think it's working.

Oh, oh yeah, it just, it just, it just fixed itself. What a coinkydink.

Oh, oh, he just lost his buddy. I don't— I think that was his teammate, wasn't it?

Oh yeah.

Oh, I bet they fucking hate him.

Well, I don't mean to brag, boys, but I had more kills than both of you combined that round.

What? How many did you have?

5.

I don't think that that's accurate. Prove it.

Can't all just hop on and kill 12-year-olds in this video game like you can, Travis. What?

Yeah, Travis.

Just owning the little kids in this game.

Hell yeah.

Hell yeah.

I'm trying to do so, and I approve this message.

Ugh, get—

did you know you can slide and ram people, Brandon? All right, Brandon, you pick the place. You drop the monster.

I'm picking?

Yeah, we'll follow you this round.

Uh, I want this place.

The Citadel.

I like your style, Brandon.

What's here?

A lot of ass to either kick or lick.

Oh, oh, or kiss.

Oh yeah, or kiss.

Wow.

There's definitely an ass or two to kiss.

Exactly. Good place then. Well, wait, what if What if my ass gets licked?

Then you win.

Then I win.

Yeah. Who doesn't want their ass to get licked? That's the real question.

Um, my buddy said it feels really good when I was doing it.

I've, I've heard something similar. You know who's not super stoked about that idea?

Who?

Pretty much every girl I've ever brought it up to.

Really?

Yeah, so weird that they don't want to lick my butthole.

Oh, I just— oh, I killed myself too.

Wow.

Oh God. And I'm pretty far away, just like normal, guys, because I forgot we were jumping.

I fell from a tall place, but don't worry, I knocked down this guy. Don't worry, I'm gonna search this chest. I'm gonna get some of this.

Wow, right? I'm pretty far away, guys.

Yeah, yeah. Holy shit, Jacob!

This yeah. No, I was not paying attention again.

And Brandon's dead.

Don't worry, I'll go get your cards. We'll get a second chance at this one, guys.

Don't worry, guys.

I was opening a chest and then I was like, oh, never mind.

I'm not again. That made me jump. That scares me. You weren't even in there, Jacob. Fucking Jacob.

Guys, I was opening a chest and my ass got licked.

Yeah, no, I definitely was kissing ass in that one. Well, I, I did kick an ass and then I kissed my own ass. Goodbye.

That's—

yeah, I, I killed myself on that one. No one got that stat. Wow, wow, Jacob, the world's watching.

Oh!

Oh, Jacob the World. Oh, that's the guy that got me. Oh, he got me pretty similar to that.

Yeah, that wasn't good.

That would have been really good. That would have been really good if the tree was the enemy.

Well, I was shooting the tree a lot, I feel like.

Hey, at least he confirmed.

I pretty much emptied my entire clip on the tree, and then he walked around the corner and shot me with the shotgun.

You know, fuck the environment, man. What has it ever done for you?

Yeah. I mean, this is probably wrong, but I think virtual trees are net negative for the environment. So, it is an environmentally friendly, friendly thing to murder trees in video games. Think about that for a second, guys.

I think that's so crazy, I have to You know, I don't know a lot about virtual trees.

But they can't be net positive for the environment. It's not like it's a real tree. Make love to me up against the wall.

Jacob, I'm your cousin.

Sorry, I'm listening to a song.

Brandon's your cousin too, so that really didn't work for anybody who had to hear that.

It's all right, we're cousins.

It's okay.

Can't wait to get you. Oh, I can listen to all the songs I'm not allowed to listen to on my podcast, on my thing.

Not if, not if the fans can hear it.

Nope, they can't.

Can they hear you?

They can just hear me singing, which is probably just about as accurate. So I could see where the copyright rule stuff would come into play.

Yeah, honestly, you're so good at singing.

Thank you. I've been called the songbird of my generation.

All right, somebody else pick. Mine obviously Frenzy! Ass licking.

Oh, you know what? I changed my mind. Let's do Bastion.

Oh. Okay, Bastion.

I don't know where to go. Ping!

Okay.

Ping! Ping!

Brandon, did you think the bus driver?

Uh, no.

Well. I think we're gonna slowly start to get people coming on and staying on.

You know, we have 3 pretty loyal viewers.

I'm giving away a pound of weed.

Jesus Christ.

It's the truth, Travis. I have to say it.

I know it is, and that's kind of— how do I enter these sweepstakes?

Well, you're not allowed.

You're—

I call you a high risk.

A high-risk client?

Yeah, a high-risk sponsor. That means that I'm afraid you'll smoke all the weed.

Well, isn't that the point?

No, it's to give it away to our fans.

Yeah, but I'm a fan. Yeah!

You see the problem?

I, I'm— Brandon, do you see the problem?

No, honestly.

Yeah, see, we, we don't see the problem.

Anybody else?

Green DMR here. I'd be surprised if they didn't.

I'm getting shot at, I'm getting shot at!

Brandon, Brandon, Brandon, get—

They're over there, they're over there, over there on ping, on the roof, on the, on the roof.

Oh, I see him. Pop your head out, pop your head out.

Man, I haven't found any blue.

Bro, same.

Bro, same.

Trying to shoot me, guys.

Don't worry, I'm coming for them.

They kind of suck though, they haven't hit any shots.

Uh, nice. Oh, got a guy.

I just hope they don't see me.

Oh, all 3 of them!

All 3 of them are up there! Oh shit! Oh shit!

I told you all 3 of them were up there!

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! Oh yeah, they were on the other roof. They were on the other roof. I, I was going onto that roof to try and flank them thinking they were on the other roof. But they ended up being on the roof I was trying to flank them on.

Wow, how are they that much better than me? I hate streaming.

Don't worry, we got— oh, Brandon's gonna snipe ya. He's gonna snipe ya.

Brandon, he's actually really good. Or we're really bad.

I think it's the latter.

I think it's the latter as well. Wow, he's battling somebody though, Brandon. If I can get his card, just run.

But what about your card, Jacob?

Doesn't matter. You're streaming, right? Yeah.

Oh, I am.

But we're all— I'll cheer you on. I'm better at commentary sometimes anyways.

Oh, Brandon, you should not have been using the grave. Oh, oh, Brandon.

Oh, it was around the corner on my screen.

Alright, let's go to the lobby real quick, boys.

I think, I think we need to regroup. Maybe, uh—

Quick lobby run.

Trios is competitive right now. I feel like we're playing like similar people each time.

Let me just do a shuffle real quick. That's what I need, I need a different character every single time.

Oh Travis, I have an idea. Do— okay, add another person, Brandon. And we're gonna get a random person in here. See if the viewers like it.

Oh, we're doing—

We're gonna do a rando, and we're gonna have a conversation with a random person. It's really fun.

Okay.

I've done it a bunch of times.

I've tried to, but like 1 out of 5 people actually talk.

Uh, you gotta do duos. Yeah, for sure.

You mean squads?

Well, yeah, we're doing squads, but you gotta only fill one spot. If you're trying to fill like 2 spots, those people don't want to talk for whatever reason. I don't know why. It's gotta make sense.

Yeah, but we're— there's 3 of us. What do you mean?

Yeah, but we're gonna fill the 4th spot. It's squads.

Okay, with a silent squadmate or somebody that is not silent, hopefully.

I'm down.

For the show.

Yeah, for the show.

Just let me do the talking.

Just kidding.

All right, I'm gonna grab a drink. Never mind, Trey, I don't have to grab anything.

So Brandon, how's your cats?

Me and my one cat?

Sure! Uh, no, both of them. Oh, we didn't get paired. That's all right. I guess we're playing quads. Oh yeah, we did!

Oh, we did get paired, what's up?

Hell yeah, Foxy! Oh, he's got the same person as you!

What's up, Foxy?

Is it me as the llama? No.

No, it's you.

Same person as you, Jacob!

No.

Hey Foxy!

They're the same person as you!

Oh, he's showing up as everybody's other guy?

Oh, is it?

Oh.

We need some communication here.

Well, Foxy, where you want to go? Point it out!

Yeah, mark us up! Give us a—

Mark us up, Foxy!

Let's go, Foxy!

Take us to victory!

All right, we're going to Shattery Labs. Oh, he wants to go over there. We're going over here.

Change of plans.

Jesus, Foxy.

I wish we would have jumped sooner.

Yeah.

I mean, gonna make it to the city.

Uh, you just gotta glide higher, I think.

Yeah, you just gotta glide higher. All right.

Why'd he pick the fucking gas station?

I, I couldn't tell.

Don't question it.

We might have pressured him a little too hard.

Make a decision.

Don't worry guys, I'll pick this place clean.

Yeah, you're gonna land way before us.

Oh, I'm already landed. Oh, but let's get this slurp thing.

Yep, slurp.

Almost there. Alright, I'm here.

Uh, Foxy, get your ass over here!

Where is he? Is he not by us?

Oh, he's, he's right here, he's in the garage.

Well, you—

Well, fuck us. Alright, well—

Hope those guns were worth it, Foxy.

Foxy, you silly guy.

You silly son of a bitch.

I think Foxy needs a, like, slogan or something. You know what I mean?

Stay frosty.

Stay frosty, Foxy! That's a good one!

Did you come up with that just now?

Yeah!

Stay frosty, Foxy! Oh, I got some smalls. Who wants it?

Oh.

I haven't even picked up a gun yet for some reason, I was just kind of walking around.

We, we hit the slurp thing.

Um, yeah, we don't need it. Um, I do need a gun. Does anybody have extra guns?

I have a green submachine gun.

Can you drop it?

I might be willing to part with.

Yes.

I said might.

Where did the— Foxy! Where the fuck are you going? Did you kill somebody?

Foxy and I are knocking Well, I don't—

I have Wolverine claws right now.

I want keymaster.

Yeah, so get in there!

Jacob, I dropped the submachine gun for you.

Yeah, well, you dropped it way the fuck back there for some reason when I was way over here.

Oh, sorry, in the spot where we all landed? Jeez.

Guys, pull yourselves together. Me and Foxy are gonna have to carry you.

Yeah, Foxy is... Different level.

Don't worry guys, I'm on my way.

We're gonna try it, boys!

I got a K!

Foxy just soloed this guy!

Well, Foxy's a weapon. I've got grenades now, that's a step in the right direction.

Wow, Brandon, Foxy sounds like your wet dream.

Hey, I only just met him, but—

He seems like a nice guy.

Yeah.

She's a nice lady.

She's a nice lady.

All right, I need—

here's a blue-red eye.

I mean, I'll check it out.

Oh, alrighty. Um, by the way, to any newcomers, welcome to Late Night with Trabi and pals.

And pals. Looks like we got 3 in.

Yeah! There's some, some spray.

I need, I need sword.

Um, well—

Aren't we by swords?

Yeah. Well, Brandon is. Oh shit, you guys got the flag, Brandon?

Yeah, we already got it.

We gotta dip real soon, like—

Yeah, yeah, we already got it. You want this sniper rifle here, my guy?

Oh yeah, I do.

Nice, take it.

All right, fuck, I need to grab this. God dang.

I'm gonna go, um, over to the island.

Yep. Um, get rid of the blue assault rifle. Oh God, count it! Point him!

You guys get him?

We got you!

Yeah, we got him!

Nice!

Oh God, I didn't get it though. Do you guys need some splashes?

I've got 4.

Oh, okay. Foxy needs them. Foxy, say something if you need some splashes.

Foxy, blink twice.

Oh, Jacob.

What?

Do you have a key?

Actually, Foxy's got those. Um, let me see. Uh, I do not.

Oh, never mind, I don't need it. Oh God.

What gun did you get?

Filthy son of a bitch. Right now I have an exotic shotgun, the Maven, and the exotic Exotic submachine gun.

Wow.

Yeah, those are fun. 4 keys, and then I got a blue sniper.

All right.

Oh, sniper surplus is what I need next.

I got grenades. I like having grenades.

I like you having grenades.

All right, Foxy, where are we going next?

Foxy, show us the way.

Marked it, let's go. Oh no.

Yes! What?

Oh, I am looking so good right now, guys. Little?

Take that as a no.

Wait, sorry, what did you say, Brandon?

You gonna share any of that love?

What love? My parents never taught me that.

God damn it, Foxy.

What did Foxy do to you?

Nothing.

Oh, there's a llama.

That's how you get sniped, Travis.

I know.

How many times?

I know, but it's also how I do snipe.

I'm right behind you.

Oh, you guys dip already?

I'll bait, I'll bait, I'll bait, I'll get it.

You see it? We just fucking annihilated that llama.

Yeah, I was gonna use grenades, but I thought it would be a bit excessive. Honestly, I can, uh, run with this.

I can run too if I press down the L3 button.

You can?

Ooh, oh, we're being targeted. The threat level, I can't really see it because my stupid face is blocking it.

It's one.

It's the worst part about streaming, I am my worst distraction. I hate this gas station, and I think we should try to avoid it at all costs. Which one? This one. Oh God, behind us!

Orange shot at.

Oh wait, that was shit.

Oh, I—

we're still in the wrong neighborhood.

Yeah, you came to the wrong place, motherfucker.

Oh, oh, another, another one.

Oh, down it.

Did you just get ahead?

Clip it. Oh yeah, that is a good clip. Boink, boink. Clip it. 26 people. I don't know how many teams, because again, my stupid face is in the way.

There we go. Welcome, Diesel.

We got another watcher. Welcome, welcome to Midnight with Travie and pals.

God.

Golly.

He's here too.

Yeah. Uh, Kelly said I couldn't call my Sunday show Jacob and Jesus.

Why not? That's a fire move!

That's another clip.

Nice!

Yeah, that's good stuff. We're doing all right. I like being on trees.

Good shit, team!

Good show, jelly good show.

Let's do it! How many Crown wins do you have, Trav?

Just one.

I got my second one finally this morning.

Oh, that must be nice.

Hey, nice!

That's what I said, Brandon.

Dude, proud of you.

They're tough. How many do you have, Brandon? That's what I fucking thought. I'm just kidding.

I've got like 70?

7,000. Ship's got 300, and I'm like, that's a lot of— that's a lot.

There's some shots coming from over there. It's a ways out though.

I'm towards it.

Brandon, don't tell me how to live my life.

Oh God.

It's just a question.

Oh.

You were asking.

Hey, don't worry guys, we have zero people on YouTube watching. No biggie, no pressure. Oh, you guys are getting shot at!

Oh, from all ends. Yeah.

Oh, uh, Foxy's down.

Don't worry.

Oh fuck, I'm getting Frick! Brandon, no.

God damn it.

Brandon, don't let him kill me, baby Brandon! Oh, you're dead now. He's going to get all that good shit.

Uh, no he's—

Oh, you ran away, Brandon? You ran away from the good shit?

Oh Jesus! They are scary! There is a lot of them! Brandon!

There's only There's only 4 of them.

I understand that.

Brandon.

Brandon, um.

Just get our cards and run.

Yeah. This is a fight for another day.

We could come back, just pick up all the cards and sort out of there.

Oh, yikes.

Oh, or fight 'em all.

Fuck!

You just lost a subviewer, Brandon. I'm, I mean, if, I think we're gonna put blame on anybody. I'm just kidding. Play with— I'm playing with new team.

Um, are we doing squads again?

Yes, I just put play with new team.

For some people that are just going to ignore us and then die.

Well, hopefully we— all we have to do is find one. Watch this, we're gonna get 3v1'd. If we all stayed together, which I know I'm the worst at that. We need to have communication. I, I— we need to have communication. I mean, Brandon, I don't want to put this all on you.

Jacob, but you did have zero kills that round, and me and Brandon—

I, I was, uh, mostly just in assist mode here. Uh, technically I was in, um, observe mode.

Did you say you have assist?

I insist that I have assist.

Oh no. Jacob— oh, never mind. I was about to get on your case for not readying up.

Noobmaster56506.

Oh!

There's a microphone! Ohhh.

What's up, Noobmaster?

He can't hear you yet. You see that world icon?

Yeah, what's that mean?

That means he's loading.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

Are you sure?

Is it— Absolutely. Wait, wait for it, He probably is on an Xbox 360 or like a PS4 or something. Or a Switch.

Dude, don't shit talk our new guy already!

Oh no, he's in actually. Noobmaster, what up? What's up?

Noobmaster!

Say something.

I don't think—

Say something.

Come on, Noobmaster. Put on your mic.

Noobmaster, don't say anything if you're playing on a Switch right now.

What's the world mean?

The world means he's playing on a Switch.

Jesus.

Don't forget to thank the bus driver, Brandon.

Love to if I knew what button it was.

Down.

Just press down on the D-pad.

All right, this time I'm gonna land with you guys.

Oh. I don't have a D-pad on my fucking computer.

Oh shit, did you guys already jump?

Yeah.

Yep.

Are we going over there?

Noobmaster's the one that marked it, guys. You guys gotta pay attention. Noobmaster's running the show.

I was, I was not.

Sorry, I was distracted by your stupid mark, Jacob.

Did I mark somewhere?

That purple mark is fucking me up right now.

Oh yeah, it fucked me up real good.

Oh, I don't know what you guys are talking about.

Oh yeah, you're gonna have some people right coming for you, Jacob.

Oh, that's fine.

I need a gun. That'll do. I got grenades too, so I'll just start lobbing them. Oh boy.

I downed a guy and his teammate came and got me. Help me, Jacob, he's right in front of me!

I know, I got it. I got his buddy. Okay, are you alive still? Are you dead? I only have one bullet left actually. I gotta run.

He's dead.

I ran out of bullets too.

Did you pick up his card?

I'll get it. I got a bunch of people in here.

Oh my God.

Damn it, I really wanted to steal that from you. Oh, I'll take that crown though.

Fuck! That was a good kill. He almost fucking got me. Fuck, that was bad. Oh, oh yeah, that guy got me.

I don't even see where he's at.

Neither do I, but I'm coming your way. Oh, he's— I see footsteps, I see footsteps! No, no, no, go inside, go inside! Come on.

The fuck? I'll just fight him here.

You help me.

Sweet.

Did you guys grab my card yet?

We have not. Oh, that guy really throwing grenades. Nice!

Fuck!

Whoa!

Jacob! Jacob! You deserve to die, you son of a bitch!

No!

Brandon?

Oh no!

Don't take his side!

Jacobs?

Yeah. He just left us all to die.

Yeah, so we would all die?

You could have saved me.

I'm gonna save you all.

Jacob did kind of watch him shotgun you in the back.

I was trying to hit the bullet, the, the shoot button, but it wouldn't work. Oh boy, this is not gonna be good.

You know, you only have to fight one guy if you spot them.

There's only—

He rezzed that guy.

Shut up, Travis, I had to get health. Uh, play with new team.

Yeah, fuck Noobmaster, he's the worst.

God, I hate that guy. God, what a fucking—

That's what I always say, lack of communication. You know, we're all on the same page.

Yeah, I think we can all pretty much blame Noobmaster on this one.

I do want to find a guy who uses the mic.

Dude, we only have 3 people, but, uh, they're ride or die. Fuck yeah. Damn thing, um. Hola, I'm from Mexico. Cool.

Yeah, that was a while ago. That was, that was the Kesha person. Kesha.

I see.

Viva la Mexico. Oh my God, we're playing with Noob Master again. This is the worst.

The Noob Master. This is embarrassing. Well, new match, so you might have heard us talking shit.

I hope—

Don't do the horn. That was because that you haven't used the mic. If you put on the mic, I will forgive you.

Communication is key. God, our peer pressure isn't working like I hoped it would.

Oh, we're hugging. I forgive you, NoobMaster.

I don't.

That was kind of cute!

I'm the one who's always gonna hold a grudge, until the very end.

Where are we going, NoobMaster? Hit it up!

Ping us again, give us a good one this time.

Just wait it out. Just wait it out— oh! Friend D it is!

Let's go, let's go! Let's fucking go!

All right, everybody just stay on NoobMaster. And then we'll be solid.

Oh, we just— Jacob, I don't know if it's coincidence or if it was actually something that, like, that's the reason why, but the minute you said something, we lost a viewer.

Probably something about it, but I don't know if that seems accurate.

It seems we're gonna have to see if that consistently keeps happening.

I'm gonna have to watch it. I'm gonna have to watch the videos.

Okay, and you can see here, right?

Right there, pause it, pause it.

Oh, I got some splashes.

All right.

Dude, nice.

Where you at, Brandon? You just out there?

I'm— oh God, I knocked, I knocked, I knocked!

Oh cool, yeah, you did. Don't worry, I'll finish him.

Noob Masters got it.

Thanks.

Oh, also, I threw those splashes. I ran out of fear for my life when I saw that guy run in.

Smart.

But here's a green pistol.

Oh, thanks, I don't need it.

Well, you're welcome. Brandon, what cheat code did you put in to kill guys so fast?

Yeah, wow.

Not a good one. There's a guy on me, there's a guy on me! He's very low. Okay, you're back to safety.

Don't worry, Brandon, I got him.

He's got him. I actually love Noobmaster. He saved my life.

You see another guy?

I'm shooting med things.

Don't worry about it, I'm up and I'm—

Just shoot the med things out of this guy. I got splashes.

Oh, that's a good call.

I'm fine, don't worry about it, everybody.

I got some splashes too.

Oh, here, I got 2. You should, uh, take them.

I'm gonna use one right now.

I'm coming, splash me up, splash me up.

I mean, I can use one as well, so. Let's just empty them out. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, is he here? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Do you got one more, Jacob?

Uh, no. Okay, but I'm sure we'll get some here.

All right, I got 3 splashes.

You need a small?

Is that— are you trying to imply something, Brandon?

No, do you need a small?

Is your wiener small?

Yeah, is that what you're trying to say?

Travis, Travis, is your wiener small? You can just ask, Brandon. It's not weird.

It's not a secret, Brandon. Everybody knows I have a small penis.

Travis, is your wiener small?

Got him. The hell is a chug can? I have full sniper ammo.

Dude, I haven't had a sniper for a while.

Jacob, do you got any assault rifle ammo you could spare?

I have tons.

Yeah.

Thanks for asking.

Sick, sick. Brandon, where are you? Don't move. Well, actually move towards me.

I feel like a cake's gonna be more useful.

Oh, that's not Brandon. Oh, there you are.

Here you go. Hold on.

There you go.

Thanks.

Yeah, hold on, let me pet— let me Let me pet the robot real quick.

Yeah.

Ah, there we go. That's some good luck right there.

Do you guys have any better—

Why are you jumping up?

Do I have any what?

Better assault rifles than a white one?

Uh, there was—

yeah, I do. Thanks for asking. Hey, you can have that blue one. Look at the blue one. I just marked it. Oh, all right.

I take everything back.

I thought there was one over here.

Oops. Sorry if that scared you. I just lit the house on fire.

Whoa!

Let's hop on this whip.

All right.

Hold on, guys, I'm coming.

Come on in!

I'm here.

Jesus, our driver's drunk.

It's alright, Noobmaster's done this before.

Oh, oh, we're going, we're going to that thing. Let's do it.

Oh God, oh God, we're getting shot at.

Yeah. Oh, oh, where? Oh, oh, I think someone's shooting at us.

Yes, there are. Nice. I got another one back here.

Nice kill steal, Brandon. I'm kidding, that was just— that was good work. Oh heavens.

What?

I just slid up to him and did nothing.

Oh, here's the sniper right here.

Fuck yeah, where? Hell yeah.

Right here. And there's some sniper ammo.

I think I have a lot of sniper ammo already.

Yeah, I do too.

Oh, actually, never mind. Give me the sniper ammo. Alright, alright, alright. Alright, alright, alright. Excellent. Oh, I got 2 things. Munition slide, probably didn't need that, but—

I'm following Noobmaster, he knows where to get the kills.

Brandon, but you can't communicate with him.

Yeah, well, we should follow him. Come on, Trev, we gotta follow both of them.

I'm literally shooting.

I'm looking for— there she is, sniper surplus. Well, he answers silly questions. That's gonna be a fun one, dude.

I had 70 people on the stream with those guys this afternoon. I just like— I just don't understand what the difference is.

The literal difference.

He had kiddos in there.

Yeah, cuz they're better than both of you dipshits.

Well, yeah, the 12-year-olds are cracked at this game nowadays.

They're very good. Yeah, they're, they're like, they do crack and meth.

Oh my God.

Yeah, it's pretty scary stuff.

I'm getting shot at, I'm getting shot at, I'm getting shot at.

All right, um, Brandon's getting shot at.

You know me, I shoot right back!

I think I missed that from that close.

Rough.

Rough is rough.

Literally all of my shots were fine.

Wow, cool, Brandon. We get it.

Must be nice on a mouse and keyboard, huh?

Oh, mouse and keyboard.

Oh, oh, he wants to do car again.

Car?

I don't know.

You can drive, Noob Master.

I'm down, I'm down.

His name would be better if he was a new master.

Oh, can I take this Havoc?

Oh yeah, he just killed that, Brandon.

Did I just yoink that? Oh, I'm leaving.

Oh ho! Baller! Baller! All right, new master! Yeah, you drive.

Yeah, we ain't driving, but we'll keep you safe.

You fucking drive! All right, he's putting gas in it. All right, where are we headed, Brandon? Where do we go?

Somebody mark, somebody mark. Uh.

Oh God.

Go to purple.

Purple?

All right.

Well.

Oh God.

Did new master just jump out?

He's taking the motorcycle, he's taking the motorcycle. Hop in here.

I'm gonna sit bitch on him. Okay, okay.

All right, let's roll, Brandon. Okay.

Wow!

Well.

That's why— oh, oh, oh, oh!

Mark him!

Oh, I found him.

Oh, nice.

Oh, where's the last one? Where's the last one? Very nice, all according to plan.

Uh, there's still one more somewhere.

Uh, maybe 2.

Oh, do you guys—

I just killed one.

Ammo by any chance?

I have a ton.

I got like, I got like at least 109.

Yeah, can I have some of that?

Yep.

Sweet. Oh yeah, that's gonna help.

See, it was all a distraction. They didn't know what to do when they saw the car flip.

Smart.

And then we just murdered them.

I'm gonna do aerialist because I don't have a SWAT.

I know, it's brutal.

Bastion. Okay, this is where— this is where we'll hang out.

I, I don't know why I did the mark. I don't know how to take the mark off.

You just mark somewhere else.

Yeah, but then you have to mark somewhere else.

You just mark your same spot. You hit your same spot, just hit it twice without moving. Without aiming.

Oh wow, thank you. I did not know that.

Learn something new every day.

Yes you do.

God, I wanna get on top of these trees! Oh fuck, look how deadly I am.

We're chilling and fishing over here.

I know, but look where I'm at, Brandon. If anybody rolls in here, I'm getting the jump on them. I wonder if I could snipe.

Oh, getting shot at, getting shot at!

Where, where, where? Damn it. Hey, always get the last shot.

Nice kill, nice kill.

That was a— you killed— you just You just like to steal kills, don't you? I'm just kidding.

13.

I think we're doing alright.

You guys never ping where they are, and then I look at the very last second, then I shoot them and kill them.

Do you see him?

Yes.

Oh, I do too.

Oh, there's some people right up there too.

Knocked one. I'm getting shot at, I'm getting shot at.

There you go, Travy!

Got him.

Nice. Sweet.

Did we get the other guy too?

Yeah, he's to our right. I think there's another one to our right.

Oh yeah, there is. There's somebody shooting.

New master got him. New master got him.

Good job, Noob Master.

We're deadly.

Oh, gunshots!

Oh, behind us!

Oh, yep. Oh, how did that not— how is that not a headshot? Did you get the headshot? Who can get the headshot?

Mark 'em.

Uh, I don't see 'em now. They must have flown away.

There's someone shooting.

Somebody—

Got him!

Nice shot!

I'm honing it in with the sniper.

Yeah, isn't it fun?

It is fun. That's just a good clean family fun right there.

That's just some good clean family fun.

Ooh!

Nice sword.

Yeah.

I'mma drink a Chuggy right now.

You go, girl. Here's a med kit too, Brandon.

I'm chilling, I only lost 5 HP.

Oh, we're going to Loot Island.

We are?

Let's go!

I just, uh, my thing is I don't have a sword, so that makes it complicated.

Same, same. Let's see.

Oh, we got gunshots, gunshots! People are—

back off, back off, we're not there, we're not there. Yeah, Travis, we're—

I'm not Noob, don't do it, don't do it!

Oh!

Are they up on the mountain?

They're up on top of the house.

Oh wow.

I sniped both of them for 126.

That's awesome.

So that—

well, they're gonna heal. Oh, I'm getting hit from the side, getting hit from the side!

Oh fuck.

This way!

Watch out, noob master!

I'm gonna fucking snipe this bitch!

I'm trying to as well.

120! Nice!

Oh, fuck! That was a sick shot!

I see another one!

Behind us, Brandon! Behind us, Brandon! Brandon, come here! Get some of that!

Oh, I— Damn.

Where's he at?

He's behind the— you can go. Oh, footsteps, I hear him.

Oh, he's using the keg. I'm gonna snipe his ass if I don't get sniped first. Oh, that's—

oh, hey, you gotta keep doing it! Oh.

No! Oh fuck. Oh fuck.

Is that Noobmaster? Okay.

Watch out, those guys have the pulse rifle.

Yeah, it's kinda not good.

Gosh!

You should get—

I tried to get away as fast as possible.

Come to me, come to me.

I'm coming, I'm coming.

I got Jacob, I got Jacob.

They got behind us too.

They're gonna— they're coming down, they're coming down. Ooh-wee.

Ooh-wee.

We need to dip, Brandon. Dip, dip, get out of here.

Yeah, just dip, just dip, just dip. I can handle—

Oh, fuck. Oh my God, I can't believe that. Where's he at, Jacob?

Got him!

Make sure you guys look behind us.

I only have 10 health, guys.

Jacob, I got splashes.

You need to fucking splash me as soon as possible.

I don't know where you're at.

I'm fucking going.

Hold on, hold on, I see you. Jacob, Jacob, get over here!

Well, do we got the— if I'm in the, if I'm in the thing for For a second I died.

Well, uh—

Stop moving, stop moving.

Okay, hit me. Thanks.

All right, that's all my meds.

Okay, yeah, we gotta get meds somewhere. I just don't have an exit.

Gotta help out, gotta help our guy. Oh fuck yeah, Newmaster got a guy! Newmaster killed a guy!

Newmaster killed a guy! Nice, we got some med mist.

We had 5 people for a second watching.

Dude, uh, we got 22 kills. Newmaster, what are you fucking doing?

Noob.

Oh hey, uh, oh boy.

Fuck are you two?

I'm getting health. Hey, Trap, stay together, stay together, stay together. Fucking yeah, splash up and then here.

Grab these splashes.

Oh yeah, I, uh, this is good.

Go get our team. Yep.

Oh, there they are. Oh! Right next to us!

Behind us, maybe?

Yep! Ah, dang!

Oh, those were the guys shooting us at the roof that got me.

Hey, show the— show the screen though! I think we had a lot of kills.

Oh yeah, Noobmaster had 11 kills.

Well, fuck off.

I had 5, Brandon had 5.

Should we go back to trios? Let's go back to trios.

I'm down.

Cuz, it's kind of rough not talking to Noobmaster, and if we just keep getting paired with Noobmaster, I feel like— hey, ooh, let me check if Princess is online or anything.

Oh, princess.

Uh, no, we only have children online. What time is it? No, it's not—

Who are your favorite people to play with?

Shut up. Just because Fortnite's a kid game and kids play it—

Hey Brandon, change it To trios.

Can you hear me?

Yeah, we can hear you.

Okay.

Turn it to trios.

I got it to trios. Do you want me to ready it up?

Yep.

Yeah.

All right.

So, Brendan, what did you do today? Tell us about— tell us about your day.

Hey, this is a— hey, this is when it happens, guys. I, I swear, hour 42, this is when, uh, this is when the waves come.

We had 5 last round for a little bit.

My day was great, guy. Uh, yeah, I went to work and then I came home.

Sick. I got a 4K 11 last night.

Hey, where do you work, Brandon?

Uh, this one place called MedSync Pharmacy. I think you've heard of it.

Who do you work for?

Who? Nah, just—

You guys know my bosses, they're a bunch of assholes.

Yeah, I've known that my whole life.

All right.

I'm not your boss. I'm just your boss in seniority sense. I'm older than you, so I should be more respected.

I like the, the keyword there is should be, because—

Should be, in the perfect world.

Uh, let's jump.

Jacob.

What?

I thanked the bus driver 100 times, so now, now I don't get any more XP. Once you thank him 100 times, that's it.

I'm gonna savor it then. I'm gonna do it every other time.

I like it. I might have pulled that chute a little too Late or perfectly? Little late, but not bad.

Dude, we got pretty good fucking streamer names. All of us have pretty good streamer names.

Mayor of Titty City.

I don't know if that's allowed on Twitch, but I like it.

Mayor of Titty City.

We like to have fun.

We like that. Oh, I gotta kick my sensitivity up. That's right.

Holy shit. Jacob, remember you were saying the sensitivity wasn't a good thing?

Oh, I meant down.

You meant down?

Uh, because it's up. It was at 5.

Actually, I got Smalls and Splash.

I think I gotta kick it up.

I'm just—

I got Smalls and Oh boy, I guess we're gonna—

Uh, someone just stole my small.

Oh, there's a guy in here, there's a guy in here, there's a guy in here!

Oh my God. Kill him. Kill him, Brandon.

Kill him!

Did you get him?

Kill him!

Jesus, where are you guys? He just stole my sword!

Yeah, they really—

Oh, I think I got some company here too.

Coming down. There's a guy in the house.

Oh, this guy really is good.

Show him you're better, Jacob.

Oh, I was about to.

Oh, we're, we're doing trios. That's right. I was like, where's Noobmaster? I miss him.

I'm gonna miss him already.

That's a silent Son of a bitch.

Hey. Guy.

Oh, I have a keg.

Perfect.

Toss her.

Toss her?

I need to get over here. Toss her? I hardly know her!

I hardly know her!

Got him.

Oh wow. That's not allowed on this channel, guys. Um. It is on this We are, um, we do not— we're—

That is a tough sentence to string together.

I think I'm just gonna stop.

Good luck with that one.

Um, I mean, ah, yeah, I'll take the green. Perfect.

Does anybody have any more SMG ammo?

Yeah, I got—

I just might.

I just tossed you some.

It's like barely half of what I had, but I'll take it.

Yeah, I— oh, Aerialist, I'll take it. That's alright, I'll use my assault rifle.

God, all these chickens are throwing me off.

Yeah, it's tough.

They look like enemies.

Well, yeah, they got the red triangle on them, so I'm like, oh, there's gotta be—

gotta fuck them up.

One of them's gotta be a person.

True.

There's skins for everybody in this game.

Absolutely. We're all about the skin.

Yeah.

Oh, Brandon, I don't know if it's coincidence or not. Yeah, but when you started talking about Mm-hmm. We lost a follower.

Brandon, I'm gonna put that on you.

All right, put it on the list of things we can't talk about.

We're gonna have to edit that out of the YouTube video. Oh, here's a keg, by the way.

I see.

I can carry it if you want.

I got 4 splashes.

Yeah, carry that keg. Oh, you got 4 splashes?

I have 3. I dropped these.

Do you guys want those? Yeah.

Here, Jacob, grab these splashes and I'll grab the bags.

Okay. I also got med kits too if you guys need them.

Fuck yeah. Any of you bitches have keys?

Nope!

Oh, we're close to our fucking target, boys.

Oh yeah, we are. He's got to be down in the water, right? Or—

Yup.

Does this big ol' circle move with the enemy?

Yep. But literally he can be anywhere in that yellow circle. And it's generally not— he's never in the center, it seems. It's like always on the outer edges.

So it would seem.

Sir! Your extended warranty's expired!

Ooh, blue Havoc.

Oh, I'd love that.

Oh, those guys slipped past us somehow.

Wow, they did. They got me.

Sons of bitches. God, don't run from us. They gotta be in the water right now.

Oh.