The Pharma Problem LIVE!!
Jacob Fuchs streams a chaotic Fortnite session with Destiny, Travis, Baddie, and Brandon, mixing gameplay banter with Star Wars jokes and constant chat management. The group navigates Loot Island while Jacob troubleshoots Streamlabs audio issues and moderates his Twitch channel in real time.
Chapters
My dad has diabetes.
Oh, here's the blue sword.
Is it you?
Bless your soul.
Thank you. You remind me of goddamn Braveheart.
From Jumanji?
Well, I mean, since Loot Island just popped right in front of our faces, I guess.
I'm a little scared.
Oh, don't be.
We have lightsabers. And the force, we can just push people off.
What is that supposed to mean? True. Benjamin, stop with your jokes.
Why am I frozen?
Who's dead?
We should destroy the whole house.
All right, let's do it.
Ready.
Oh, fuck, that is—
is that Oh, rad!
Now no one can get the upper hand on us.
Hee hee.
I did. I did do that. You got a problem with it, Brandon? Oh, baddie! What?
Wait, Trav, do you have a key?
Come here.
Trav, come here.
Come with me.
Come with me. No.
Down here. Come down here.
I'm gonna get this. I'm gonna get this first.
No, no, no. We we need two keys. Keys, come down here.
I will after I get the laser rifle, Brandon. Priorities. Here's another key right here if you want to open it up.
Hold on.
Down there, I've never seen that.
Oh, it's just a vault. It doesn't really give you anything special.
Just money.
Yeah, that and shitty guns.
Really?
Yeah, the best shit is Um, why did Destiny leave the party? Or why did Baddie leave the party, Destiny?
I literally said it 3 times already. I said I kicked her out.
What?
She lagged out.
Oh, she lagged out. Jacob's actually in the party.
He's chilling.
Let's see if we can reinvite her. Oh, she's not even on right now.
Oh no.
Oh yes.
Oh, there she is.
Wow, just leave us high and dry.
Let's see what happened.
Was there's more people down there.
I'm going back for it.
We're just a team of three now, Brandon.
Yeah, I thought there was only one guy.
Oh, fire!
No.
Crawl!
All right, let's skedaddle from here.
Stop moving!
Wait, why?
Stop moving!
Coming up here, Trev.
Up where?
Oh God, oh God. Yeah, I'm coming up there. Fatty, can, can you just join in and then we can just rez ya?
I don't know if that's how that works.
Oh, Jacob, is that you?
Yes, sir.
Where have you been?
Uh, just setting up everything. I, uh, I've been— I put you on the livestream. You're on all of it now. Oh, it wasn't really working, but I figured out something genius, so I switched it. I figured out how we can do it all from my computer and stream on every device from Twitch. No, it's cleaner than anything. Um, yeah, Streamlabs has something called screen capture, and it just— we stream Twitch, it streams at high enough quality that you can just do it on everything. So I can just do it from Twitch and then, uh, uh, stream it on Streamlabs to everything else.
That's pretty cool.
So I set all that up and I've got you streaming on everything now. With way better sound because I was getting double sound.
Do you have any more assault rifle ammo?
Uh, I got a little bit.
Thank you. Do you have any more assault rifle ammo? God bless.
How much do you got now, Brandon?
280.
Nice.
Um, you know, I have any Sniper.
Yeah, got you.
Are you Chewbacca?
No.
Oh, oh no, you're the other one. You're the—
thank you.
There's one right here.
There's one right there. Oh, he's got a green saber.
Oh, they're fucking—
oh, fuck. Never mind, we're all good.
Oh, they got to go.
Yeah, we got to get out of here.
Oh fuck, that's not good enough.
You on the yellow thing?
Oh yeah, there's people here too.
Oh no, I got—
oh, Travy!
Oh God, oh God! Are you guys both down?
Yeah, that all sounded so wrong. He was like, oh, he's like, oh God, oh God.
All right, where's the other one? Really funny. Where's the other one of these at?
Uh, I'm down below.
Yeah, right below.
Oh God, right—
no, wait.
Oh God, I just You're gonna die.
Hey, he's got— he's got judge.
Not with that attitude. Run, run, run, run!
Hey, hey, he knows what he's doing. I know what I'm doing. Oh, you should have done the jump.
I know this.
All right guys, we're looking good.
He went back in.
Your only thing is right on your blue deck.
Oh, I see it.
Yep.
Leroy Jenkins wins.
Get in there.
Leroy Jenkins. Oh, he just wiped. Oh my God.
Oh, piss. Piss on a little in— where's the other guy?
Piss! Piss!
That's the 3rd place again.
We know how to do it.
We know how to do it. Consistency, that's what we're here to teach.
Are we going back to the lobby?
Yeah, cuz Batty is gone.
Oh, that's right.
Also, not this time.
Yeah, cool.
I'm gonna be sitting out after this one game.
Okay, who's, who's sitting out?
Baddie said she was missing out. How do I—
you want what?
Playing now.
Cool.
Oh, you gotta—
you're gonna have to Google that one, Jacob.
His team member.
Oh, Chubby isn't there.
His controller.
What happened?
Uh, our party leader's gone.
Did he— is he all right?
I would assume so.
Probably not.
I don't see why you can't steal.
This is—
this way's— I'm such an idiot, Brandon. This way is so much easier. I figured out some shit for streaming. Yeah, I set it up so legit now.
So sorry about that, guys. I just didn't want you to hear my stream on the stream, if you know what I mean.
Yeah, that makes sense. Uh, Travis, you need to change it to squads.
Oh God, don't ready up, guys.
Fuck, I think I'm gonna sit out.
Give me a sec.
Hey, stop.
Don't sit out.
Stop that. No.
Yeah. I don't feel good.
I don't want to eat anything.
I feel like I'm gonna fucking pass out.
Kissy.
Yeah, you're a—
I want that.
There's no more.
I don't know what he said.
You have the chocolate milk right there.
I guess we're doing trios, boys.
Hey, I like it. Stormtroopers.
Okay, my backstory Tomorrow, okay?
I have to provide for my child. I'm a secret rebel. I'm working to make ends meet.
Okay, my backstory: I'm in a troubled marriage. I have a lot of anger issues, so I put it all out into the Imperial military.
Nice. I'm kind of scared of Travis. But he's still in my troop, so I got his back. But do I think he might have murdered somebody? Yes.
I have a chip on my shoulder.
Brandon? Brandon, wait, what's going on with you?
My backstory is that Yoda killed my kid.
Brandon, that backstory's already been taken.
Oh shit.
And I could not avenge my kid.
Oh God.
Oh, you could do— you could do Chewbacca ate your wife's face off.
Oh, there we go.
And now you have a deformed wife that you love, but you're at the Imperial Zoo and you're seeing Chewbacca in the cage.
You got too close when you were feeding it and the Chewbacca ate your wife's And now she's really ugly, but you still have to be with her because it would be really rude if you—
you know what I mean?
Like, if you left her after Chewbacca ripped off her face, you're not gonna be that guy.
He's got a point. Where are we going, by the way, guys?
Here.
Wow.
Oh God.
So yeah, we got Shout out! A fun goofy bunch! Of, of pooper troopers.
Trooper poopers.
Trooper poopers.
Goopy coopers?
Could be, could be.
Oh, ooh, oh! I—
bad land, bad There is a lot of people by us, holy shit!
I'm gonna be coming in a little late, guys.
I have never seen this many umbrellas!
He said he's coming. I'm coming!
Oh, me too!
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
I got a clue!
Wow.
Uh, yeah, I got a team over here.
Oh, and Jesus! Well, I'm down.
I'm gonna go destroy this person.
Oh Jesus. See, Destiny, this is what happens when you leave.
Yeah, Travis dies.
I die all the time.
Jeez, oh Christ.
Oh, you died.
Look at my health.
It's not looking good.
I definitely got cracked. Um, I really didn't know their quality.
Nice.
This actually will give me more health than I think I would have otherwise had. True.
You strategically died.
No, same. If, if you guys res me, same.
Oh yeah, well, you're dead, but I died hard. Oh, so you're talking about your aim was to reboot, man?
Full thing of health.
Yeah, interesting.
Yeah, cool.
Here, take this, Jacob. You drink that.
Quite an interesting tactic.
Let's see if it pays off.
Yeah, I mean, technically—
First we gotta rescue you.
Yeah, I mean, I've got equivalent of like full health.
You guys, my card expires in 50 seconds.
Yeah, that's, uh, that's gonna be tough for us to make it there on time.
Well, it actually is in 175 seconds, but I just wanted you guys to get a move on.
Where are you?
Maybe I will. Come on, Jacob.
Um, where are—
oh, what's going on?
We got company.
Come here, come here.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, there's the company!
There's the company! Well, are you gonna invite him in?
Oh hell, man, where's the— oh, there's the other guy. Yeah, he shot me in the face. Destiny! Hey, um, Destiny, you should play this time. Destiny!
Daddy?
Destiny!
Yeah?
Let's play.
Oh, just because Destiny doesn't want to play?
No, because we really need you and we want you to play.
I didn't know who was there, all right? All right, are you playing? Yeah!
Huzzah! Huzzah!
Why am I sitting out now?
Uh, am I going back to the lobby?
Yeah, yeah, you are, Brandon.
Well, Brandon, we kind of wanted to play trios. I'm just kidding.
The only one I have is this one.
Oh yes, we'll take it! Yes, yes, we are your community!
Yeah, he's a little freaky.
He's got his little wings on too. Oh, he got, he got fried.
Who's red again?
That's me.
Brandon.
His little emote that he was doing.
Yeah, the cowbell one was a fucking score, Brandon.
Yeah, where is that one?
It's gone now. Some guys, you know when they do like lockers?
Listen, listen, listen.
Yeah, I'm listening.
Sage, okay, let me tell you something.
Let me tell you something.
Let me tell you. Let me tell you something. All I know is that I'm evil. You guys join me.
Oh, our leader!
Come on!
Oh God, I'm not trying to do— oh, oh yeah, we can do the Vader walk! Hold on. Oh God, oh God, oh God, it's too late!
Pay him!
Where are we going? Oh, frenzy!
He almost—
just cuz I know where a lightsaber is over here and I like to snag it up.
You are Such a—
I know, I'm a little lightsaber slut tonight.
Yeah, you are.
100%.
At least you're honest, you know.
I want to go into a bottle op.
I bet it's amazing.
And I will just use the lightsaber the entire time.
Does it spawn at the very start of the round or do you have to wait?
You gotta wait.
Okay.
Is it a red one?
Yeah, it's a red one.
Is it always a red one?
As long as you're evil.
So far it's been a red one.
So far, that's cool.
There's a couple around these parts.
These?
Yeah, but I can't play.
Oh, got footsteps.
Oh my, Johnny, I'm gonna die.
Oh, Johnny, no, I am.
Yeah, because you're not gonna do that.
You're on me.
I won't be able to hear them.
Oh, he's got ODM.
You know what to do with that, Jacob.
Nice.
Uh, next one.
Nice.
There's another one.
Where?
I don't know, I just saw him.
The other guy was zipping around.
There's— yeah.
I have no idea where that truck—
okay, he's wide.
Oh, there's another one right here. Got him.
I'm proud of you, my children.
Thank you, master. Oh, that was dope. Someone's gonna get forced to go.
Master, save me.
Piss!
Oh God, he's on the roof.
Master, I've been looking for a promotion.
What does that mean? Okay, here.
You mean could I get paid like shit? I have a child to support, Brandon. All right.
Some of them aren't getting paid at all.
Yeah, like me, Jacob.
Well, behind this tree.
My bad.
All right.
Oh, it's not always a red lightsaber, guys.
No, he's my teammate.
Yeah, guys, there's people still shooting at us.
Where are you going? Yeah, I know. I don't know why people are doing that.
He's winning.
I'm throwing grenades. Don't worry. Oh, where are they doing that at?
I'm dead. I'm dead.
I'm dead.
No, save the master.
Master.
Oh, they're rebooting.
Oh, I'm about to fuck some people up.
I'm about to get fucked some people up.
Run!
Ah, wow, these guys—
whoa, donkey dick!
Oh my God, someone should call the cops.
All right guys, don't worry.
Oh, I have a warrant out for my arrest.
Oh, I just got hit by somebody.
Oh, this guy wants a fucking promotion.
Ah, fuck me.
Damn it.
Oh shit, oh shit, what up?
This is a pretty high drop.
I'll show you a pretty hot drop.
Oh shit, we gotta move.
Yeah, you guys, does he got the exotic sniper?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Um, why are you still over there?
Did you guys run away?
Yeah. Oh shit, they got me.
Oh no, no, I'm dead, I'm dead.
Oh, Brandon, you let them in. Oh God, at least we died first. As it should be.
Yeah, we sacrificed ourselves for the greater—
for the greater good.
Ready up?
Yep.
You guys have sweaty lobbies.
We do have sweaty-ass lobbies. Should we make you the party leader? You are Vader, of course. All right, hold on, let's go back to the lobby, guys.
Travis, you're pretty high now, aren't you? Uh, I meant in the game.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
Are we going back to lobby or no?
Was that—
Yeah, yeah, no, I did. You go back to lobby.
Okay.
I did go back to lobby too.
Okay, cool.
We are going to dub the party master baddie.
Yeah, killer's not gonna be super happy that I bought him. So many V-Bucks.
How many did you buy? What the fuck?
13,000.
13—
that is all right.
Yeah, so it's like $86.
Also, whenever you're ready, Jacob. And Jesus Christ, you're the reason they're a billion-dollar company.
I know. I think I have a disease.
Yeah, it's called chlamydia, and they have pills for that now.
It's probably syphilis because it's affecting the brain.
Oh my God.
I'm just saying.
That sounds like you have experience.
Oh, we've been around the block a few times.
Oh.
Who do you think gave him the chlamydia?
I think she was talking because I'm a doctor, all right?
Oh, he had to throw his doctor out there.
We're trying Shattered again?
Yeah, we're getting Shattered. I'm not gonna fall short this time, Gabe.
Dang.
Jacob, Jacob, you there still? Your mic cut out. Fun. We can't hear you. I think your mic's dead. Jacob, Jacob, Jacob, Jacob, chicken. Jacob, Jacob, you were about to get stoked and not in the good way.
Come on, Edward's about to steal your girl.
Oh, I'm so glad you guys didn't hear any of that, did you?
No.
Oh, thank God. I was making a fool of myself. I was saying some crazy-ass shit. Nobody was responding and I was like, I wonder how fucking fucked up I can make this. Uh, yeah.
What?
Yeah, I was saying some weird shit. I don't know. I'm sorry.
Hey, no, that's cool.
You guys will never know, actually.
I guess not.
Oh God, oh God.
Uh, I was running towards Travis without a gun and I see him getting shot, so—
That's okay.
I got one.
I got a kill, master.
Oh wow, I just, uh— Oh wow, come on, come on!
Got him! Oh, you're welcome, Jacob. Hey, if you guys find, uh, one of those Star Wars laser guns, can I borrow it for just a quick sec?
Borrow it or steal it?
Just borrow it.
Drink your waters.
Trap, come here. Now get on your knees and beg for it.
Please, may I please have it? Oh shit, you got 2 of them?
That's right.
That's what I'm fucking talking about, Brandon.
Wow, you made him beg for it and you had 2 of them?
Yeah.
I would gladly beg for it.
You almost wanted to.
How long does it take that fucking rock to go?
I think you have to wait.
You gotta stop shooting it or it won't go.
Sorry, I'm just sick.
All right, uh, I need a big if anybody's got one.
Oh, I got one.
Oh. I'll throw you one after.
Wait, everybody come here first.
Everybody come here. Oh no, no, no.
Yeah. Oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God.
Nice.
Where was that guy?
I saw him. He's in the water. Good job, good job. Oh, look how many viewers we have, Jacob. Hurry.
Did I, uh, uh— 420 knives!
Yeah, 420 knives.
Oh hey, I have some splashes, guys.
They're all because of me.
Oh nice.
Get over here, battery.
God, I wish I, I wish I could have taken a picture. Oh, and it's still going, it's still on it.
Brandon, oh God.
Ah, but I don't— my camera's doing TikTok.
Brandon, fuck.
Fuck me. Yeah, what's up?
Jacob took my mini ammo.
Thanks, homie.
I took your mini ammo?
Yes.
Are you sure it was me?
Yeah, it was you.
How do you know? We all look the same.
Sucker.
Uh, your name is on top of your character.
She's got you there.
Damn it.
Damn it. If it wasn't for you meddling kids.
Make us lose.
If it wasn't for these meddling kids.
Um, I, I want to find—
that was rudeness, guys.
We're gonna kill the boss when they spawn.
That's the plan.
Um, oh yeah, yes, that's, uh, that's a good call.
If you're sleeping, then turn off your iPad.
There's a purple SMG here if anybody wants.
Oh, he's a little tiny too.
Um, I'll take a gander.
Take a little peek.
Mostly peek.
The machine or the automatic?
Uh, dual mag.
Oh my God, where are you, Lucy?
Lightsaber.
Oh, fuck yeah! One just popped up right next to me.
Oh, perfect, one popped up right next to me!
Oh ho ho! You want to shoot the bad guy?
Is it the purple one?
Yes, it is. Also, here's the purple shotgun if you guys want that.
Yeah, I'll take it.
No, they're close.
Jacob's got dibs?
No, I have a— I'm good. Actually, if you want it, Shalid.
No, I'm good. You take it.
Okay, just a little bit then.
There.
I literally forget your name when you're playing, Brandon.
What?
Yep.
I think of you as Shalid.
Brandon is a doctor, right?
Yeah.
PhD play hating degree.
I was gonna say pretty huge dick.
Oh, that's that's that's that's a good one.
You sure?
Oh yeah, you are.
Whoa!
He trapped us fast.
Get over here. Oh! Nice guy, dude.
Zenty, I would love to know the answer to that question, man. I beg people to say something and they don't. It's a quiet chat. I beg them. I say, hey, I'll show you guys some skin. Nothing. It's like, who wouldn't want to see that?
I'm opening the vault, by the way, if anybody wants to come. Okay.
Maybe we do your, um, little games that you guys do.
Do our little games?
Or is that only with Destiny?
Oh, are you talking about the moaning games?
I'm just joking.
No, I'm down to play that.
That's a fun one.
No, I was just joking.
Yeah, okay. Um, no, Brandon, do you want to go first this time?
Yeah, Brandon, you can go first.
He's saying it's only for you.
I think you guys play the game the best, so I'll let you guys take care of it.
Yeah, yeah, that is nice.
You're poor.
Damn.
No, I'm just kidding.
I can't get— oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh shit!
I just got teleported.
All right, I'm coming with. There's nothing left in there.
Okay, that's moving.
Hello.
Oh, whoa, a mythic!
Uh, a little present for one of my children.
Oh, thanks, man. Oh my God, what did I just listen to right now?
I'm the raster now.
Don't worry about it.
Darth Vader's the master.
Okay, Jonathan, I did it!
I don't know what he did, but he did it.
Yeah, he did it.
Oh, it's Obi-Wan!
That's lame. I got Darth Maul branded.
I got a green lightsaber.
Oh, nice. Is that a good thing or bad?
Use Force flashes.
Don't remember.
Master.
Green is—
yeah, this wasn't good enough.
Oh, green is Force push.
A bush?
Force bush?
Force bush?
Oh shit, I want some chicken.
No guys, ready?
Pick a number.
Oh gosh, uh, 2.
Oh yeah, I think you're so cool.
I was trying to figure out if I want Anakin or Do I?
Stop!
No, listen, he's got a point.
He has the—
he's kind of cute armor though.
He's not.
I'm like, why is there like a fire?
Looks like someone's putting fireflies into a reservoir.
Whoever did—
who did that?
Who did that fire?
Oh, that was Jacob Master.
I immediately rat him out.
Thank you.
I am proud of you, son!
Thank you so much!
I worked really hard on it!
My loyalties are to you forever, son! I spent a lot of time on it. I spent a lot of time on it and I worked really hard on it.
Thank you.
Make sure next time there's a person in there.
Uh, yeah, I got it.
Choke his ass!
I just practiced it.
Choke his ass, master!
Choke his ass?
Ooh, let's get some more of these slurping birds.
Uh, and apparently they all have syphilis. That's what you've been—
Whoa, chlamydia is much different than syphilis.
Yeah, I am the one with syphilis. Travis and Brandon have chlamydia.
Oh yeah, me and Brandon gave each other a round of applause.
Oh, and Jacob's face is melting off, which is a new side effect that is not very fun, if I'm gonna be perfectly honest. It wasn't happening.
Real talk though, guys, it's not the best.
They're fighting. You have the red sword.
Whoa, whoa, Brandon, did you just push our master?
Timeout! Timeout! Uh, it was Shlib.
It was Shlib. Okay guys, I got 6 of these Super Slurps, so I'm rolling with— I'm rolling with a lightsaber and the laser gun. Let's watch it go, cuz that's all you need.
Wow, that's impressive.
Whoever has the red one, I'm proud of you.
Thanks, Master. Someone's going to be the favorite.
The whole Master thing just doesn't feel right when you say it, but—
It doesn't feel right? It sounds right, doesn't it?
Yeah, it does. Kind of sound right.
I don't know.
What if we say Brandon? I haven't heard you call our mother by her name.
Did you just say call me Papa? What?
Yeah, that's what she recommends. I heard her say it. Okay, Papa.
Good place.
Okay, that reminds me of Stranger Things. Papa, you lie.
Oh yeah. Oh, stranger things. Oh wow, there's a lot of fighting going on over here.
I'm just here to wreak havoc from a distance.
Okay, this gun's not as accurate as I thought it was. Oh, this, this motherfucker Step into the lion's den.
Down 3.
Brandon, he got me! Brandon, Brandon, Brandon, Brandon!
Oh yes!
Goddamn it, Jacob!
Are you going for it, you bastard?
Goddamn right I was, Jacob!
Oh, I just drank a jug.
Um, are we not gonna heal the master?
This is why you're my favorite.
Oh no, no, no, I knew, I knew.
Thanks, master.
Hey Travis, thanks for the lightsaber. Oh, you already have one?
Yeah. Oh, that was dumb.
Why did you do that? The master wasn't playing.
Does anyone have sniper ammo?
No, master.
Damn.
Shame on you. Master, I have some. Your favorite one, the red one, does?
No, my favorite is the green one, Brandon. Oh, here's another lightsaber.
So happens green is my favorite color.
Hold on, here we go.
Well, I could use some more ammo. I think I have slide.
Yep, perfect. There's more over here.
Damn, there's a bunch of lightsabers. Oh, here's, here's a red one.
I don't need one.
I already got a red one. Is that push? What is it? Oh, that's what I need.
Oh my God, holy shit!
Strike one!
Right by the side of us.
Strike one!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, we're getting strikes?
Brandon's on the naughty list again.
Guys, there's people at— there's people at Loot Island.
Oh hell no.
Oh shit.
Oh wow.
What, are you guys— are you guys up there?
Did you guys just see that or what?
Did you guys just see our chat?
Guys, we gotta move.
What did they just—
also, you gotta delete that, Travis. No, you gotta delete that.
I have to delete it. Yeah, how do I do it?
What happened?
You're a mod, you're the creator of the channel. Just right-click on it, delete it.
It's not working.
Oh God, what happened there?
Jacob mod me! Jacob mod me in the chat!
Jacob, make Braden a mod!
I don't know what that even means. What does that mean?
He allows people like under a Oh shit, Jacob!
Yes, how do I do it? Oh, we are under attack. Holy shit, who's raiding us? I hate it when this shit happens. This is not me. I'm not doing this shit. What the hell is happening?
Goddamn, they're really good at aiming. Uh, how do I make it?
Oh fuck, I'm being shot at. How do I delete it?
Fuck.
All right, I'll do it now that I'm here.
Come here, child.
Okay, don't move.
Okay, never mind.
Pick him up, pick him up, pick him up.
Oh, they're coming.
Sit still, sit still, sit still.
Well, I was trying to. He wouldn't stay still.
Oh God, he may escape.
Oh God, how is it that he's the closest one to them and he was the last to die? That's what I was Because I'm the best. 3rd place.
Am I?
We are really good at getting 3rd place.
We're like really good.
Okay, I, I banned him. Oh, we lost, guys.
It was just one person attacking us.
Oh, I'm gonna make Brandon a mod. Hold on.
I'll return to lobby while you do this.
Dude, that was nuts. I've never seen that happen before. Has that ever happened to you guys before?
I've seen it happen in other chats.
No, not to me.
That's crazy.
There's a bunch of different—
Like somebody else like did it?
It's like line art that you can make online.
Brandon, I don't know how to make you a mod, bro.
I was like, I don't know how to make that work.
Click on my profile and then you—
Oh, you're modded now.
Okay.
Hey Brandon, are you going to do your own channel?
I should.
Not like— you can stream it on my channel.
I mean, ooh, Destiny And he picked Padmé.
Hell yeah!
Nice! Look at us, we are all Star Wars pals now.
Yeah, I guess. I'll shut this out.
Okay.
Do you know I have a little dick next to my name, Travy? See that?
Do I what?
Look at look at the chat.
Oh cool, you got a little dick next to it now.
That's that's that's one of your mods now.
Oh.
You can have a certain amount of mods in your channel.
My little dick soldier, huh?
What do mods? What do mods do?
Uh, they have a whole like, uh, access to this interface that just pulled up now that you, uh, you know, made that for me. And I can like help you moderate the channel while you stream.
Oh nice, Team Edward or Team Jacob? That is obvious.
Obvious.
Oh yeah, and I can hold— I can like do that, you know, like Things where you ask a question and people points or whatever, or the the bets and stuff.
Jacob did play a pretty good Edward, and he played a pretty good Jacob too.
Hey, hey, Destiny, do you want to laugh?
What?
Do you have YouTube?
Destiny, are you awake?
Are you alive?
Yes.
Are you okay?
I'll play a couple games. I'll see you guys in a little bit.
What's going on?
I'm gonna play a couple games and see you guys in a little bit.
Oh my—
oh, that was— oh no, oh no.
You know, it's a problem when there's an extra person on. I wish that they had like a bigger team deathmatch.
Who we blaming this time?
A bigger team deathmatch? Oh shit, we gotta do the Star Wars walk.
I wanna see it.
Follow me, children.
Is that an emote you have to buy? Yeah.
Sorry, I'll stay behind you.
I don't have it.
Which one?
The Star Wars walk.
Oh no, that was, um, battle pass.
Oh, that was battle pass.
That was a while ago.
Yeah.
Well, thank God I have it. I would hate to be a sucker who didn't have it.
Oh, I'm sure I have it too. I just don't have it equipped.
Mommy, help! Mommy, get— ah! There's quite a few people who dropped here.
Yeah dude, it's frenzy.
I'm scared!
I got a cave!
Throw 'em, master! We gotta protect her.
I have 2 caves! Well...
2!
Does that mean it works twice as fast if you throw both of them?
We're about to find out.
I don't think it does, I don't think it does, don't do it!
Watch out.
Where's he at? We got stuck again.
Team.
Oh, no, no, I'm out of bullets. I'm out of bullets, Schlib. I'm distracting him. I'm jumping around. I'm jumping around.
We got him.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Hold on, hold on, dude. I have veggies.
Rally team.
Wow, we're all okay.
Why you play with them?
Because I could play with them.
Why you do? Why you choose that one?
Because I can't.
Look at him.
She's a girl because I'm a girl.
Yeah.
Well, how do you know he's not a girl? He has a mask on.
Well, for one, you are calling him a he.
You're not supposed to tell him that, Travis.
Yeah. Oh my goodness.
Oh fuck. BRB, guys.
BRB. Who said that?
That was that was Travy.
There's a certain thing that spawned on Blue Ping that he's going to.
Oh, I thought you meant like stay away from me, Brandon.
You can take it.
Thanks.
If I find another, I'll let you know.
I'll stay with the master.
That's a good call. I'm just doing a little scouting, master. That's all.
Yeah, that's all.
Wow.
You get a star sticker.
Thanks. Wow, dude, do I get a star sticker?
Just take everything they didn't come. They weren't standing there.
The—
just, just take it.
Oh, I don't know why it keeps doing that.
Travis gets nothing.
That's okay, I got everything I need.
Everything?
Everything.
Look, look, look, there's a little thing that you go like that. See?
I got a little treat for someone.
Oh God, what could that be?
A tree?
A tree?
I would like a tree.
I would like a tree, please.
What is it? What is it?
Oh, a treat?
Master, I have a treat.
Oh, you said that kind of weird.
Yeah, I have a treat, master. But honestly, Brandon has first dibs.
He gets a star sticker.
He—
is this another lightsaber?
Oh, he gets a star sticker for saying it like that.
Wow.
I don't know if I want it though.
Fine, Brandon.
Give it, give it to the— give it to Master.
Okay.
What? I don't need one.
Oh my God. No, I have 2 of them.
It's the—
yeah, it's the— it's a gun.
What's that?
Yeah, it has infinite ammo.
Fine, I'll try it.
You tap it. Don't, don't shoot it. Don't hold it.
Shoot it.
Because you shoot it faster if you tap it, I think. At least that has been my conclusion.
It's literally the same.
It deals good damage, but it doesn't have any range.
It's not that good though.
That's shitting on your gift, dude.
Yeah, geez. This will be the last time I ever draw you for Christmas.
That's the master you're talking to.
Jacob, do you want it?
Yeah, I do actually.
Who's talking shit? Who's talking shit?
Brandon.
Oh, hell nah.
Get him, master.
Get him. Oh shit, no, honey, shame.
Shame.
Shame.
I swiped your lightsaber.
Shame. Shame.
Oh, someone swiped it.
I think actually— I think someone actually shot, and I—
You Jedi scum.
Oh yeah, there's definitely a sniper. There's a real person.
Right there.
There's a real person.
Oh, you gonna sword away, you little fucko?
Oh, you are mine, you little bitch!
Oh, there's another one.
Yeah, you get him!
Coming, ladies!
Got him!
Nice!
All right, I saved Travis.
Oh, someone sniped me! I found the sniper.
Oh yeah, up top, up Up top, up top!
It's 2!
Oh fuck, I'm gonna die. I'm down. Oh, they got me good.
Oh wow, they did. Um, oh, I tried to switch.
So—
oh, there's 3.
It's kind of fun though that everybody we run into is also Star Wars characters.
Okay.
It's great.
Okay.
Oh hey, Brandon.
Rain, you got this. Did you run?
You guys went the exact opposite.
It's all right, Dad's got this.
You guys just need to regroup, grab our cards.
Don't touch my saber. Where did I even die?
Oh God, nice, Brandon!
I killed one.
You killed one too?
With a— with a gracious—
Get out of there, Brandon!
Suck a dick. Here's a blue sword. Oh, Brandon, they're dead.
You got them all?
Uh, I got 2 of them.
Wow, I'm glad I revived you. Holy shit, I almost died there. You see that shit?
They were— yeah, I was watching you. That was crazy.
That was a good clip.
That was a good clip. Oh fuck, too late, too late.
Did you get both?
Yeah, I got both of them.
Hell yeah. Well, come back, squad. We got a whole bunch of loot for you guys to take.
Carve them.
They brought all the loot to us.
Exactly.
Uh, over here is where most of the good shit is.
Yeah, there's some where I killed this guy over here. There's a red lightsaber too if you want it.
Uh, yeah. Uh, yeah, I'm gonna take 2 types of swords, a sniper rifle. I'm gonna take like the worst loadout, a bunch of swords and ODM gear and a shotgun and a Red Eye.
Oh wow, dude, the lightsaber. The green lightsaber with the icy caps is fucking sweet.
Nice.
Because you can just slide and then jump and then boost your slide so you can fucking—
I think that fight right there just solidified the green lightsaber as my favorite. I just pushed the guy away every time.
Yeah, that's such a—
I haven't used my Force powers yet.
That was very good.
I saw that, uh, Brandon, you were using that really well.
The green one is just such a short cooldown, which is so good about it.
Oh really? What's cooldown?
It's 8 seconds on it.
What's red? 13, 14, 15 seconds maybe.
Is— why is my red one Why does that one not do anything?
What do you mean?
It's not doing its powers.
Barely.
Are we going to Loot Island? I'm guessing.
I don't know, is it up?
Oh.
Is that not in the distance?
Uh, it hasn't spawned in yet.
I could use a shotgun if someone sees it. Oh, I found one.
Okay.
Anybody need— you want a purple shotgun, Jacob?
Uh, yes please.
Come to me.
I'm—
Master, you want anything? You got Jacob.
Perfection.
Oh, whoops. Here, Jacob. My bad.
Oh, see anything here?
No.
Travis, can you see the lightsaber in the bush?
Uh, no, I can't actually. Can you see mine in the bush?
Actually, not really.
Oh my God, it didn't give out any supers. I'm just kidding.
It's the reason why we do these. All right team, should we go to Loot Island? Sure.
Is that what we're doing, Brandon? Loot Island's been around for a long time. Ooh, there's another lightsaber. Ooh, it's Anakin. It's the blue saber.
What's that one do?
Oh no.
Oh, that one's the pull one?
Yeah, blue's pull, green is push, red is—
I'm switching it out.
Wish there was a lightsaber for like the Palpatine where you force lightning to people.
Oh, this is, uh, yeah, the Palpatine would be nice.
Just There's some people underneath Loot Island.
There's people on Loot Island. There's— they're at the flag.
We're rifting with you. Are you landing there or no?
No, I did not.
Okay, we're not—
I'm gonna hire this guy real quick.
All right, we landed on top of the thing.
I hired healer lady.
Where's the master?
All right, I have bad, bad news.
Oh God, Jacob, don't go up there.
Jacob, don't go up there. Well, well, we're gonna—
they definitely know we're up there.
Might not be able to get you.
That's gonna be a tough one.
That's gonna be—
I'm scared. Mommy's filming. That's filming. Look, Mommy, that's filming.
Okay, go to sleep.
What are we doing?
Um, I don't— oh, we gotta get out of here. That's what we gotta do.
Yeah, it's all good, just leave me.
Oh yeah, what are you doing?
All right, oh, you got his thing though, and I got the fuck out of there.
Fuck yeah! Wow, thanks, Travis.
Oh God, run guys, run!
He's got parachuting after you, Trav, behind you.
I know.
Oh, he got me.
Damn, I got stuck at the lip and I couldn't hit him with my sword. Nice job, Brandon.
What's going on?
Brandon, on the hill behind you, on the hill.
Oh, there's no hill on the hill. Yeah.
Oh, the gold guy's the guy that killed me, baby. He just sent them flying. I'm out of ammo.
Oh damn.
Is that the Midas touch person? Is that the person that everything they touch turns to gold?
Uh-huh.
Oh, okay.
No, that's not them. They're like gold. Uh, that might be the Midas girl.
Oh, okay.
Is the guy just kind of the same, just gold?
Yeah, he's got like a gold suit.
Should we go back to the, uh, lobby? Ooh, my thing's glitched up.
Hey, I'm gonna let you guys play with, uh, I'm gonna go to bed, okay?
Okay.
All right, let's peace out, dude. Peace.
Well, let's see what Destiny's doing. Oh, do you want to kick Jacob, Batty? Just kick his ass out of here like he was nothing to you.
Oh, um, he's my favorite.
Who Jacob?
Wait, this is not Jacob.
The red one. That's me. I'm the red one.
What's the red one's name again?
Schlip.
Brandon.
But yeah.
Okay. Is it Brandon or Brendan?
Brendan.
Don't, don't, don't.
How come your lobbies are super sweaty too, Batty?
I guess I'm just like a—
We should try to make Brandon the party leader, see what his are like.
I was wondering the same thing.
Could be even worse.
Go to sleep.
Are we just trioing them?
Um. I don't know.
Destiny's in a solo round right now.
