A Lifetime of Candid Business & Life Insights in Just 25 Minutes // JACQUELINE ELLIOTT

Yeah, Let's go. All right, guys, are you guys ready to kick some ass? So just going to talk to you a little bit about leadership, a little bit about family, a little bit about our struggles, a little bit about how we're still up. Sorry. It's the truth. And some of the things that Andy and I went through. You guys see us and you're like, man, Elliot, group is awesome. You guys are growing an astronomical pace. You guys are kicking ass. You guys are. You're so good. I want to be like you. All this other stuff, which you guys did not see, is all the work that we did in the dark. You guys see us growing the last three, four years. We're just growing and growing and growing. But it took a lot of pain, it took a lot of suffering, it took a lot of hard to get us to the point where we are now, and you guys get to see who we are now. So I want to share with you some of the ugly so you guys can kind of understand and maybe relate to some of that ugly so it can hopefully inspire you to change. Because sometimes we look at ourselves and we're the worst critics on ourselves, and we live a certain way. Those of you have achieved some type of wealth in your life, and you're leaders now, and you're stressed the hell out for a bunch of stuff. And I just look at certain people. I had a conversation a couple days ago with a business owner, and he was freaking out, and he just looked like he was so stressed out. Now this particular company has business with their family and does all these different things, and you can see the stress. And I'm like, hey, what the hell is wrong with you? And he looks at me and he's like, what do you mean? And I said, I can see the stress in your eyes. I can see that you're not leading the way you need to. I can see that you're no longer excited. I can see that you're so lost. You're supposed to be the leader. You're supposed to take your family on this different ride of your life. You sold them on this dream. You sold them on this thing that they're supposed to go and battle of the world. Look at your face. You're lost. And he looks at me and he's like, you're crying now. And I'm like, you need to freaking remember. If I were to go back three years ago when you were talking about the business that you were building and this dream that you had and you wanted everybody to support you and Your family, and they're doing that now, and you're stressed out about this bullshit. If I were to take you back to that day and get rid of all of your problems and all the things that you have going wrong and all this other stuff, remember, you prayed for this. You prayed to be here. You lost the newness. You want them to support you. You want your employees to work really hard. You want them to go and run to the end of the world. You want them to believe. You have to believe first. You have to believe first. So when Andy and I built this company, we didn't have anybody. We didn't have the Elliott Group. We didn't have any of that. We had a lot of work to do in the dark. And it started with ourselves. It started with ourselves. And it started long before any of this was in the vision. It started with me, a stubborn little Mexican girl who thought she had her shit together, meeting him, who was another lost Alpha, and I was an Alpha. And we just freaking crashed because we fought and we all wanted to win. And then it took us really understanding and wanting to grow together. But we discovered when we got married that we needed to become marriage millionaires before we ever made a dime. So a lot of times I see people and I see business owners, I see salespeople, they go and they make money and they're chasing money, money, money, money, and they make money, and then all of a sudden, they lose it. Then they go again and they get another idea and they make money and they lose it. We discovered that when we grew together and we fought together and we learned to have the same goals together, we made this thing go. And it did not have those downs anymore. It was just up, up, up, up, up. But first of all, before you get to that point, you have to believe and you have to really rate yourself. Be like, do I have failure in my DNA? We talk about bloodline breakers. I see a lot of you guys wearing this shirt. What is really. What is a bloodline breaker? Andy was talking about it the whole time. Do you guys really understand what that means? Failure was my DNA. My parents got divorced when I was a little girl. I had everybody feel sorry for me because I was the first one in the family that lost their parents and all this other stuff. My mom never paid attention to me, and my dad got married, remarried to a younger woman. She never paid attention to me either. I had to grow up by myself. Really, really cold. My dad was a failed entrepreneur. He failed over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again. And I saw that growing up, it was easy to become a failure. I saw failure my entire life. But what happened instead? I became a very ballsy young lady that I wasn't afraid of anything. What happens if you fail? You go from one house to a smaller house. You lose one car, you go to a bus. You do all these different things. Failure was not an option. Nothing could happen to me. I became unbreakable failure. What are the labels you putting on yourself? Oh, I'm too old to start. I'm too young. Someone knows more than me. Or this one has more money than me. I can't start. Or my family doesn't believe in me. This one's more talented than me. I don't have the resources. I don't have this. What are the labels that you're putting on yourself to get started? It's failure in your DNA. What are you doing with that to get started? So how many of you guys are married? How many of you guys have a family in here? Okay. How many of you guys are single in here? Okay, so married or single, you were built for communion. You were built for communion. If you're married, you're going to have to really bring your family along with you on the journey. If you're single and you make a lot of money, then you're going to get hit really hard, and then that's all going to change. Okay? So married or single, you were built for communion. You were built to be with somebody. If you are married and you have a family, ask yourself this question if you want to be. Because Andy talked about leadership all morning long, okay? He talked about how you need to be the leader. Now, whether you're a leader or not, are you the leader in your family? Do your kids look up to you from for advice? Does your wife look up to you for advice? Are you the one that people come to for that? You're gonna have to become that leader in your family before you become a leader in your business or anything else. You have to lead yourself also. How many times have you made commitments that you haven't followed through with? We have certain expectations as leaders and as business owners that we want our employees and people to follow their word. But we make commitments all the time. Hey, Monday, I'm going to start going to the gym. You show up one day and all of a sudden you're like, oh, that was too hard. And you start over and over and over and over. Your family doesn't believe you anymore. You don't believe yourself anymore. Andy talks about this all the time. Would you be in a relationship with somebody if they lied to you? Yes or no? Okay, what happens when you're lying to yourself every single day? What happens when you say you're going to start something and you don't follow through? What happens when you're the husband that tells the wife, hey, babe, this is the last thing I'm going to do for the rest of my life. No matter what, support me, please. Just give me three years. I'm going to go and I'm going to kick ass. I just need you to support me, take care of the kids and watch. In three years, we're going to be out of debt. You're going to have the car you want. You're going to have the house you want all of this. Just give me three years. Three years go by, you're still in debt. You don't have more money in the bank. Your time is gone. Your kids might have been seven. Now they're 10 years old. You lost three years. All of a sudden your kids are in electronics. They're not excited about you coming home. You gave up again, right? You lost time. Johnny is no longer seven. He's 10 now. Are you the hero to your kids? How does your spouse look at you when you get home? When you got together in the very beginning and you moved in together and oh my gosh, she's washing dishes in her underwear. Look at her. She's so cute. Cute. And then what happens? You get home, you don't even look at her in the eye anymore. She becomes that nag now. How did you used to talk about her when you introduced her to your friends and to your family? Oh, she's so beautiful. She's so organized. She pushes me to be better. She's so great, dad. You need to meet her. She's just so amazing. How do you talk to dad about her now? Oh, dad, she's so annoying. Nothing I ever do is good enough for her. She doesn't let me be me. She's always pushing me. Nothing I do is okay. She's always just nagging at me. She's just become that nag. The newness has worn off. Are you still trying to prove yourself at home? Are you still trying to prove yourself at work? You wanted the job. You wanted the business. What did you used to do when you first started? A lot of people get stuck in their income, you know, everybody's raising their hand. Hey. What? You know, how much money are you making? You've Been stuck making the same amount of money for years. Why? When you first started, you excelled. You grew. You gave it all up. You're willing to put in the hard work. You're willing to show that you were different, that you were better than everybody else, that you deserve the job, you deserve the position. You wanted to show your clients that you really cared. All of these different things. You're willing to give it all up, but now you're too smart. You have money. You're not willing to put in that hard work. Andy and I work broke every single day. We're not afraid of going broke. You talk to any person that has money. Most of them will tell you their biggest fear is going broke again. We've been broke. We've been broke over and over and over. The reason why we will smoke your ass is because we're not afraid of going broke again. Okay? We're not afraid of putting that hard work. We'll sleep right here. Ask yourself, is there some entitlement in my life? What can I do different? How can I keep this relationship new? How can I have my wife look up to me like she looked up to me in the very beginning? How can I have my employees look up to me the same way? How can I get excited again? How can I keep this new? And you said in the beginning, if you treat something like the beginning, there will never be an end. How do you do that? How do you do that? How do you not feed into mediocrity? Mediocrity. The people outside are teaching you something that's different than what we're teaching you here. We're teaching you, hey, we want to push you to that next level because we believe in you. Everybody outside is telling you, hey, you know what? Work is gonna fight with your family, and your family is not ever gonna support you. And you just take care of them, and you just have to work hard. But they're never going to understand that. That's why it's a battle all the time. People ask me all the time. Husbands come up to me all the time, hey, Jacqueline, how can I get my wife to support me the way you support Andy? They ask me that all the time. And I ask them, what are you bringing home? Are you talking about your clients not being able to buy? Are you talking about your boss being an asshole? Doesn't let you get out of work? Are you talking about all the work that you're doing and you come home with leftovers? At the end of the day, if she's your wife, why Are you bringing home leftovers? Why aren't you showing her you're excited? Why did she get with you in the first place? Because you were a complainer. No, she got with you because she looked up to you. Because she saw a man that was fulfilled. Your wife will support you if she sees a man that is fulfilled. She wants the confidence in there. Hey, I'm a massive Alpha. I'm a massive alpha. I was an Alpha before I met Andy Elliot, but I want him to be a freaking Alpha, too. If he wasn't an Alpha, I would trample all over him. I wouldn't be with him right now. I want him to be proud of himself. I want him to be a savage at work. I want him to be where his feet are at work so he can kick ass. So when he gets home, he feels like he deserves to be home and he is where his feet are and he puts his phone down and he can give undivided attention to our kids, undivided attention to me and everything. The thing is that most of you guys are. Are slacking at work. You're not leaving it all at work, and you're bringing all that home and you're giving your home life leftovers. That's what you're doing. It's the truth. I see it all the time. You're procrastinating. You're treating your work like a country club. And then all of a sudden, you feel guilty for not answering that text message from that client. If you really gave it your all, you wouldn't feel that way. You would deserve that time. But you're not doing that. A lot of you guys aren't really doing that. So what are we going to do? What are we going to do? How are you going to change? Today? I listened to Andy and then I listened to Dean, and they're talking about the same freaking thing over and over and over. How many people does it take for you to want to change? We can slap you in the face until you turn blue, okay? You have to decide when you're going to change. Because you're going to leave here today. You're going to be so motivated, you're going to be so driven. You're going to be like, man, I know what I'm going to do. And you're going to get home and you're gonna listen to those people outside and they're gonna freaking tone you down and look at you like you're freaking crazy. Do you know how much freaking hate we get? I know we got a lot of people that love us. And a lot of people, hey, I wanna be like you. Trust me, you don't wanna be like us. We get a ton of people that hate us, a ton of people that hate us. How many people are you willing to piss off to make a difference? To fight for what you believe in? That's the question. Are you battle tested? Another thing that you have to ask yourself in order to get people to lead or your family to look up to you, you have to ask yourself, do I love myself? Do I love myself? Am I the one that I would look up to See? A lot of times we're disappointed in ourselves and we wonder why people don't look at us for support and wonder why as leaders we're mad at our employees for not working hard. Or we wonder why it's everybody else's fault. Do you love yourself as a woman? I can tell you this. We go through so many different stages as women. We go through. I talk about it all the time. I've been five different women in my life and I'm Mexican, so that counts for another five. But it's the truth. We go through ups and downs all the time, Andy and I. I mean, I was a big time alpha. I felt like I didn't need a man. I was very independent, I took care of myself. I had more assets than Andy when I met him. I worked really hard, I had a hard life. I learned work ethic at a very young age. Some of you women in here, you're going to have a hard to sell job finding a man. I just got to tell you, because you don't feel like you don't need anybody in your life. That happened to me. If I would have stayed that way, I wouldn't be here, I wouldn't be with Andy. Andy was my biggest project, that's for sure. But I had to change that. I had to be a little more tolerant. I had to be like, hey, you know what? We're going to have to make rules to fighting. We would fight and explode. We can either fight and grow or we can freaking kill each other. Trust me, we were about to kill each other. We learned to fight fair. We made some rules to fighting. So if you're in the room and you're married, write down there's some rules to fighting. And you're going to start fighting with your spouse. I believe that for true. If you have true intimacy in your relationship, you're going to fight. For those of you, of you that don't fight, you don't have any passion. You don't have any intimacy in your relationship. And I don't know what to say. There's no makeup sex like Andy says, right? So you fight fair if someone wins. No one wins. You fight for resolution, not for personal victory. You fight fair. Healthy couples fight for resolution. Unhealthy couples fight for personal victory. What does that mean? I'm going to win. I'm going to prove my point. I'm the one that's going to be right at the end of the day. And then what happens? You might win. How long does that last? 30 seconds, 2 minutes? And then you feel like shit, right? If someone wins, no one wins. We had to learn that sometimes. And this happened a lot with men. You men are going to get a little offended, but it's okay, because I'm really good at pushing buttons sometimes. Seth, your wife can tell you, oh, you hurt me. You did this and that. And she'll tell you 10 different things, right? 10 different things that you did wrong. But on the ninth thing that she tells you, and all the other one through nine were perfect. The last one that she says, she's like, but this. And you find that little detail in that 10 thing that she did not describe perfectly accurate. She up in that last one, and you grab onto that one, and that's defense right there. And you discarded all the other nine that were accurate. Has that ever happened to you? No, of course not. No. You know what that's called? You know what happens when you avoid fights? You know what happens? You avoid fights. Death by a thousand paper cuts. I learned from other people's mistakes. Your job right now is to learn from our mistakes, and we learn from a lot of people's mistakes. So you avoid fights because Andy used to do that. I taught him how to fight. I taught him how to fight. He told you his dad was a pushover. He told you that he would just. Basically, he didn't eat onions for 10 years. His wife cooked onions every day. He ate them for 10 years, and he never said anything because he didn't want to cause a fight. Now, that's a pushover, right? You want to tell him you don't like onions? You have to tell them you don't like onions. But avoiding fights, I learned. The people that I look up to, I looked up to as a kid in my family. Later on in life, their kids got grown, they grew up, and then they got divorced. And I was like, what happened to my aunts and my uncles? I said, what happened? I looked up to you. Like I wanted to be just like you. And now you're divorced. They don't even know how to explain why they got divorced. They don't even know the reason why. It's called death by a thousand paper cuts. It's those unresolved fights that they never learned about each other. That just kept bothering them over and over and over again. It happens. Don't be that person. I'd rather fight. Fight fair. Fight fast. Fight for resolution, not for personal victory. Don't get historical. If you're going to forgive somebody. A lot of people are in the room and they've been through a lot of pain. Somebody might have cheated on you. Something happened. And then every time there's a fight, you bring it up. I've seen people go through addiction. I've seen people go through deaths in the family. I've seen people go through so many different hard things. And they've survived. And then all of a sudden they break up for leaving socks on the ground, not picking up their socks. It's the stupidest thing. Why? Because they do not talk about things they don't learn about each other. They don't grow. You know, Dean was talking about adversity and how you should learn to grow with it. He's talking about betrayal in business. Big. You're not going to be able to deal with betrayal in business if you can't deal with the little at home. It's who you are at home that's going to determine who you're going to be in business. Andy and I would not have a business we have if we didn't get. Our people do not have business problems. They have personal shit that they have to deal with that they bring to work. They make those things big, it becomes a big problem with everybody else. So get your home life right. Don't wait for something bad to happen before you take action. Think about who you're doing things for. Think about those promises that you made. Keep to your word. Why does your wife question your every move? Why does she tell you all the time? I know you don't have a wife. You're looking right at my eyes. But you need one, by the way. He needs a wife. I'm just kidding. Why does your wife question your every move? Why? Because you've made false promises to yourself. Right? Because you've not followed through. Because you've told her that you're committed to something and you're really not committed. She questions your every move. She wants to see how badly you want it. Some of you guys are here by yourself, without your spouse. You're going to get home, you're going to be very motivated. She is going to question you and she's going to tell you, oh my gosh, you went to this little seminar. You think you're the. You go and you show up and you're different and all that. And she's going to give you so much and that's good. I want her to do that. You know why? Because she's testing you. She's testing you. Is this really motivation or is this a drive? That something that I'm really going to change? She's going to test you when you're different. And also she's been telling you for years to change over and over and over, and you haven't listened. So you go and listen to this bald guy with short shorts and pointy nipples and you go and you do what he says. Sorry. I love you, baby. I wore shorter shorts than you yesterday. She's testing you. You think she doesn't want you to be a better man? You think she doesn't want you to kick ass in business? You. You think she doesn't want you to put her first? You think she doesn't want any of this? Of course she wants all of this. But she's testing you because she's been disappointed because you failed before and she doesn't want to get hurt. I was talking to somebody earlier about an experience. And you always have to ask yourself, how strong is my foundation at home? If shit hits the fan, ask yourself in your business, in your home life, how strong is my foundation? If we get hit by another Covid, can my business survive? Yes or no? Okay. We were to lose a child in my relationship. If I have kids, one of my kids died. This is harsh. Would I survive? Would I still be married? Would I still be a good parent to my other children? Or would I crumble? It's a very valid question because it almost happened to us. I almost lost my daughter when she was two years old. She fell in the pool. She almost died. She's still here with us thanks to my son who actually reacted and saw her fall in. Most kids that were five years old would just watch it happen. I believe that God wanted to give us a wake up call. Our foundation was not strong back then. Andy and I did not have the relationship that we have. We did not have the people around us. We did not have the support. Who wouldn't be here today? God woke me up that day and he told me, you better be a better Freaking wife. You better be a better mom. You better show yourself some love and be a hero to your children. I was taking care of my children. I was living a decent life. I had everything I needed. But I wasn't the person who I needed to be for them. I'm happy to tell you that today. The daughter that I almost lost, if you ask her today, what do you want to be when you grow up? She tells you, I want to be just like my mom. And I tell you some of you guys are taking your lives for granted. And we talked yesterday, last night after the workout about your lenses and how the twins used to walk around with these fake prescription glasses because they're lenses. They wanted to remind themselves every day how their perspective needed to change. I wish you could borrow our lenses. I wish you could see how good you have it. I wish you didn't have to suffer so bad. And some of you guys have gone through so much. You've gone through so much hurt. You've been through so much pain. But what are you doing to show those people around you that you got your chance? And you're sitting here today, you may have lost somebody in your life. What are you doing to show those people around you? What are you doing to show to God why he gave you the opportunity to be here? What are you doing? Are you wasting time? Are you feeling sorry for yourself? Are you here to make a difference? Be a badass parent. Be a badass wife or husband. Be badass in business. You can do it all. It's all sustainable. It's all a matter of how much you love yourself. You. And how much you think you're worth it. Wake the up, right.