Accountability, Transformation, Growth: Facing Hard Truths to Build Stronger Relationships with Andy and Jacqueline Elliott

I also told him, hey, we learned to live without you. It was very painful. It was the most painful conversation that we've ever had. He was in the pictures with us and the kids, but he didn't remember. He was never present. He wasn't where his feet were. He was always thinking about work when he was home. And he would always tell us, hey, we miss you when he's at work. And I'm like, listen, it does me no good for you to miss me while you're at work. I don't want you to even think about me when you're at work. I want you to go and kick ass so you can feel like you deserve to come home to us.

I had the wrong definition of success. And success to me was money. And since I was poor growing up, I thought if I had money, it would solve every problem in my life. And I'm going to tell you, this is so crazy. And this is why I say, like, chase the man, not the money, because I'm telling you, everybody's like, how do I make more money? And I'm like, well, you're fat. I'm like, you're fat. You got to get in shape. And I'm like, number two, you know, you treat your family like shit. Number three, your children don't want to be you. Okay, so we got some work to do. And they're like, yeah, but I want to make more money, Andy. That's why I'm coming to you. And I'm like, dude, go train with some other guy that's going to give you some bullshit answers, okay? No one wants to be you. No one. And, dude, no one cares about anything that comes out of your mouth because you're a sack of shit.

Today we have a special guest couple that many of you know about, many who have seen online. One of the few people I've ever seen who told his employees, you will be fired if you don't have a six pack. That was the moment I fell in love with him. I knew he was my guy. Excited to have with us today Andy and Jaclyn Elliott on the date your wife podcast.

Yeah.

So we're gonna start off a real hot question right out of the gate. Right out of the gate. Who makes the decisions in your house about where you go eat?

Well, number one, she may. She. I literally follow her decisions because she's way better at decision making than me. Totally. But. But I. Because I'm so. Like, we're gonna eat clean, you know, like, because she think food is a luxury. Well, she thinks food is a luxury. Food is how we build our body. And so I. I make our nanny, like the lady that takes care of everything, meal prep for me and her, and she doesn't like it. I do.

You don't like your meal prep?

Yeah. Good food. But we. We meal prep. Seven days. I mean, we meal prep.

So is that. Is that how you decide is just meal prep? Do you guys go out to enter dinner ever?

Yeah, we go to dinner. We go to dinner.

Very selective at dinner. Do you. Do you sneak a little good tasting food in there when Andy's not looking?

No, I still eat. He actually feeds it to me sometimes because I am Hispanic, and, you know, Hispanics, if they don't eat food that tastes good, they will get cranky and I will get cranky. So I do have to have my good tasting food, for sure.

Yeah, yeah. But Garrett, check this out. So my family is 350 to 450 pounds. Yeah. Okay, so we got to understand real quick, right? Like, my genetics are not good. And if I make shitty decisions eating food, you know what I'm going to look like.

Yeah.

And by the way, at 39 years old, she grabbed my love handle and she freaking pulled it out. Like Donald Trump shaking a hand.

Oh, no.

She. She pulled it out and she's like, you're getting comfortable. And that day when she triggered my ass, and I was like. Like, number one, like, I hate you. Like, you're the worst person ever. But she was calling me up. Like, she wouldn't call me out. She was calling me up saying, hey, this isn't the man that I married. You promised me the ride of a lifetime. You were in shape at 26, you're 39, and you're just like every other person out there. You know, the dad bod. Right.

Well, I knew that there was another level. Not necessari necessarily, just that I was like, oh, my gosh, he has to have a six pack. But, you know, he was. He was settling at a lot of different things in our marriage and with our kids, even in business, I noticed that there was nothing women were good at triggering our husbands. And that's what I did. I knew that fitness was important to him. Even though he put it on, you know, on the side burner and the back burner, and I just grabbed him because I knew that I was going to get that reaction out of him. And that's.

How long had you been waiting to do that? Like, had you been thinking about it for a few weeks, a few months?

Well, As a Hispanic, we don't think a lot, honestly. But yes, I mean, it was a lot of, you know, hey, I'm gonna get home at a certain time. And it didn't happen. It was a lot of reheating of the food. It was a lot of like, hey, I'm going to do this. I'm gonna start, you know, reading a book to the kids before bed. Or I'm gonna start, you know, we're gonna go on date night and we're gonna start doing this. So it was a lot of false promises that were going on that, yeah, I got fed up and I was like, I gotta do something that's gonna make em react. So it's yes and no. I guess it was like I wasn't waiting for. I just knew that I was boiling inside and I needed to get him to shape back up.

Were you angry when she did that?

I was furious. Listen, I wanted to punch her in the face. Yeah.

Because I'm always like, how do I call him out?

But listen, and people will say, they'll say this because they don't understand and they're, they're. They don't have a great wife.

Right?

A brotherhood. If you don't have a brotherhood, you're going to ruin your life. And if you don't have a great woman, you're going to ruin your life. And every badass guy has a badass woman next to him that just will not let him fall under the standards. And honestly. And I'll tell you, when she finally started speaking back up, that's when I became the man. And I'm going to tell you this, a lot of guys are like, dude, I want my life. Talk to me that way. I know. And that's the reason why your life's going to suck your whole life and your kids are never going to know what a great marriage looks like. Your son's never going to know how to treat his wife when he gets older. Your daughters are never going to know what a great man looks like. I feel sorry for you. I really do. And I regret. I mean, I hate every part about my life. Until I was 39, I burned everything in my life to the ground. Past 39, anyone I knew, the state I was in, everything. I want nothing to do with it. I totally hate that person. I mean, I get disgusted and. But I'm glad she triggered me though. So when she did, they're talking about eating clean food. Like, I got it, I got a meal prep because. And by the way, like, I'm Obsessed. Now we always say greatness is found in the extremes, right? So when she did that and I started to work out really hard and stay consistent, I started to see the compound of consistency in my body. And then I started seeing respect, you know, not, not from just like, like from outside world. I started people saying, oh man, you know, something's going on. And then she was like looking at me different with those eyes.

Yeah.

You know, like, like he woke up.

He was asleep for a long time.

I'm proud of you. Like, I admire you. You know what I mean? Like when you start to see that, you're like, oh, I'm even going harder now. And then I started to look in the mirror and like me. And so now that I know that play exists, if you eat clean food, you will have a good body. I'm like, dude, I can't break it. I just can't break it. I can't break it. That's the code. I mean, because then if I go backwards. Plus, you know, you always say like, don't ever let your fans outgrow you. Don't let your wife outgrow you, don't let your kids outgrow you, don't let your team. We got a big ass team, dude. There's always something else out there trying to get their attention. And you know, I got to be the freaking dude that's going to inspire my team. I want to be their mentor. And I can't say I'm your mentor. You work for me. No, dude, they got to be inspired by me. So I'm 45 and you know, I was asked, how old are you sitting at? 48. I'm like, dude, like, even though we're getting older, we got to go back and compete with these 20 year olds. We got to be shredded, we got to be jacked, we got to be disciplined and we need to be older, which to me is a superpower.

Oh my God, such a superpower.

And that's a good example to our whole family and the world.

I got him to sign a napkin and actually in Miami a couple years ago to do, to get into bodybuilding. I was like, how do I tell him he's kind of a skinny.

See, she's just like, Jackie.

And I was like, okay.

So literally she not once ever told me I was a skinny.

We didn't, we, I joke about it now.

I'm a 190 surfer. That's what I do every day.

Back then I didn't think that. But now we look at pictures, I'M like, babe, you could eat this guy. Like, but you same thing. You saw who you become and taking better shape of your body is transformed every area in your life. Like, it's like, it's how you operate with your teams and with me. And it's like almost like you see a better version of yourself when you take care of yourself like that.

Well, she, she had met me as a football player and like I was like 215. And then I got into ultras and marathons and Ironmans and surfing and I just jujitsu. I didn't care. It was going to be skinny. Yeah, I don't even know skinny though. That was fun part. Did you even. Did you realize that you were like losing it back then? I mean, I was like lost.

People don't know they're. Exactly.

And how long do you. How long have you been watching this slow descent? Because the money's rising in sales. He's crushing it in sales. So he's making money, which is kind of the justifiable hall pass for dudes, unfortunately. Well, I'm making money. Of course that was making money. I'm taking care of us. When did you start, like, go back before the tug?

Well, there was, there was that time, you know, and it was a sequence of events, you know, it was that tug. But I also told him, hey, we learned to live without you. It was very painful. It was the most painful conversation that we've ever had. And it was basically him just trying to just prove that he had made it financially, which he was making money. I mean, we had a paid off house, we had cars, we had all this stuff. I guess we were quote, unquote successful in that sense. And I guess that wasn't enough because I knew that he was there. He was in the pictures with us and the kids, but he didn't remember. He was never present. He wasn't where his feet were. He was always thinking about work when he was home. And he would always tell us, hey, we miss you when he's at work. And I'm like, listen, it does me no good for you to miss me while you're at work. I don't want you to even think about me when you're at work. I want you to go and kick ass so you can feel like you deserve to come home to us. That was more of the, the transition in that, all of that. So it happened in a sequence that was pretty close together, but there was a time when I said, hey, enough's enough. I'm not Going to be living a nor. I always felt in my entire life like we're not going to live a normal life. Like in the beginning when we first met, like I was the risk taker and you know, we had a certain standard of what we wanted and I felt like we were just like everybody else and I hated that. I didn't want to live that way. So it took a lot of triggering and realizing that we were just conforming to society and that wasn't. I mean, we weren't going to be anything great.

Yeah.

So I think that we're in a leaderless world.

Yeah. Right. And honestly, my dad's a pushover, right? He's a pushover. He's a coward. I mean, listen, my dad's a nice guy, right? And my mom's a loser. She's a freaking alcoholic. She left when we were two. And that's not a victim story, but it's like no one ever told us to become great. I got in the car business at 18 and if you understand the car business, car business teach you to hustle big.

Time.

Teach you to be thick skinned. And nobody gives a shit about your family. No one, no one knew her name, no one knew my kid's name. No one would ever want to know. How much money are we putting up? What's the gross profit? How much volume? Volume we do in the store. That was all we talked about, dude. Nobody meal prepped in the store. Nobody had time to work out. We were all just mentally beat. And the only thing we wanted to do on our day off is come home and sleep and get ready for the next day. But I didn't go hang out with the guys on the weekend. I didn't cheat on Jackie. I didn't run around like, I'm making a point, like everybody has their own vibe and demons and all that. I was just, I had the wrong definition of success. And success to me was money. And since I was poor growing up, I thought if I had money it would solve every problem in my life. And I'm going to tell you, this is so crazy. And this is why I say like chase the man, not the money. Because I'm telling you, everybody's like, how do I make more money? And I'm like, well, you're fat. I'm like, you're fat. You got to get in shape. And I'm like, number two, you know, you treat your family like shit. Number three, your children don't want to be you. Okay? So we got some work to do and they're like, yeah, but I want to make more money, Andy. That's why I'm coming to you. And I'm like, dude, go train with some other guy that's going to give you some bullshit answers, okay? No one wants to be you. No one. And, dude, no one cares about anything that comes out of your mouth because you're a sack of shit. Yep. And it's like. And like, people are like. They're either, like, excited, like, you know what? Fuck it, all right? I'm in. Recreate me. Or it's like, you know what? I don't like you. And I'm like, good, we will never get along because I don't talk about money much. We 50x our income. We were making 2 million a year in 2019 as a W2 employee, doing better than anyone else that I had ever been around that I knew personally in my life. And. And then when she has this conversation with me, I was like, dude, all right, screw it. I want to do this. I told her, I'm gonna get a job at Lowe's. I don't even care.

Andy is not handy. You don't want to get.

You're like, as long as I get you back, Lowe's sounds great.

Well, I just said I want to get. I'm going to get shredded. I'm going to get ripped. I want to get jacked. I'm like, you watch. Watch how good of a dad I'm going to be. Watch how good of a husband I'm going to be. Watch out in shape I'm going to get. But then after a couple months, I started not caring about work at all. And then Jackie's like, hey, I don't fucking like that either.

Yeah, because a man needs to make proud of himself and what he does.

She's like, you're walking around, and I can tell you're not proud of your work. And I don't like that either, because that right there, eventually you're going to resent us because we didn't let you work. And she's like, okay, so, like, I want you to get it all. And Jackie kept saying this, and it didn't make sense to me. Then she kept saying, why are you so one dimensional? Like, why do you not think you can have a badass house and be a badass husband and be a badass dad and be close to God and be freaking ripped, look in the mirror and be proud of you. Put a financial fence around your family, make a lot of money. Why can't you have it all?

Who?

That's you. You got a fucking you problem. And she would just tell me, like, you're in here. And so the more I worked out, the more this shit worked itself out. And then I realized, dude, if I can unscrew me because I'm just a mess, I can unscrew everyone else that I meet because I'm qualified now, you know, to help someone else because, you know, you unscrewed yourself. And then I was telling Garrett, like, so Jackie one day, like, you guys are like, hey, we're going to Miami. Like, I just came home and quit my job. And Jackie's like, you quit? And I said, yeah. And she's like, all right, okay, what are we gonna do? And then I got on there and I found that broker blueprint, you know, that Dean Graciosi, Tony Robbins. Dude, listen, how big of a pussy I was. This is so important because, like, now, like, people see you and they're like, oh, like, you guys, like, you were always that guy. Dude, you have no idea. The insecure, how weak and all this shit. But that's why I love. Human beings are resilient.

That guy's dead.

Yeah, we all killed him.

But they're resilient. If they watch this, they can change, be the next Garrett. Yeah, actually, they can be better than Garrett. Because the whole goal as a coach is make people better than you, right? To get a hold of them a little quicker, you know? But I remember that they said, you got a skill, specialized skill with sales. People will. Will pay you to learn what you know. And it's a billion dollar a day industry in coaching. And I'm like, oh, shit. Like, let me teach people to sell. Which we didn't know was going to work. I'd never been on social media. I wouldn't even let Jackie watch me when I was recording a video. I'd be like, babe, get out of the house. Why are you staring at me, dude? I was so watching Lost, you know, like the beginning stages.

And Jackie was like, pathetic.

She was like. She was like, just shoot the video.

In front of me.

And I'm like, I can't. Because I was such a fraud. Because the old me and then the new, he would.

He would wear a dress shirt and a tie in his underwear because no one would know.

That's why you're worried about Jackie seeing you. You're like, you're watching me have naked video shoot.

Oh, he didn't care about that.

I just knew what I was saying, you know, this new energy, this new deal wasn't the old me. I'm actually introverted. So, like, I'm not an extrovert. You know, I just. I had to re. I'm good at. If I'm in my territory.

Yeah.

And you come on my territory, I'm going to kill you. Yeah, but, like, me going outside into.

Like, the world, very exposing.

Like, that wasn't my deal. And so, like, at that point, we realized we were going to have to. We got a lot of hate people, like, oh, you're not that guy. And I. And I didn't like the old me, and I wasn't that guy, but I was after a new guy. And so I felt like she was pushing me. I watched this specialized skill with broker, blueprint. And then I remember you got, like, you know, Grant Cardone. We all grew up watching him on, you know, listening to cassette tapes. Right. Because he was in the automotive space listening. But they were always wearing, you know, suits, right? And I hate suits. I hate them. Yeah, I hate them. I just hate suits I don't like wearing.

How long ago was this?

This is. This is five years ago, so.

Five years ago, babe, we ran hard. Full court press promotion on that event, that training. So, like, at the same time, you're taking this At Warrior, we were running a full promotion for Dean and Tony on it.

Really?

Yeah.

Which is so amazing.

And I guarantee that's how they tied together. Because, I mean. But my point is. But I. I saw a video with Garrett, 2019, no brand, remember? Because, you know, you're the brand, right? There's no brand. There's no nothing.

Right.

We're just gonna start this new business. And I see Garrett, and it's like. And it's like, wait, and it says triggered. And I'm like, oh, because in sales, like, people get triggered.

Yeah.

Like, you hit them with an objection, they get triggered. And I used to always say, you got triggered because I hit you with an objection. You couldn't handle it. I'm like, you're unprepared. You're a Winger. You're winging everything in your life. You're not a pro. You got triggered. And then I watched this video, and it says, welcome to the brotherhood. There's a guy with a flamethrower, and he's got. Look, he's got one word across his chest, and it says Warrior. That looks very similar to our Elliott shirt. Dude.

It very similar.

It's.

It is. It's all black. I'm like, oh, these guys are Navy SEALs. They're black ops. Wait, no, These guys are coaches. I'm like, these guys are coaches. Holy. I'm like, bro, I don't. And I. And by. By the way, I said, I love Grant Cardone, but I'm seeing this suit. I'm seeing this. Matter of fact, I don't like rich people. I honestly. And I know that sounds weird, but I'm a broke person with money. I don't like rich people. Rich people look down on people all the time.

Yeah.

And I just hate that.

That.

And, you know, me and Jackie do really well, and we love everyone. Anyone that's willing to change their life. A reborn Christian. A reborn person is like, you're. You're willing to be reborn. Okay, cool. Like great leaders, when they see someone trying to change, no matter what they did, they're like, oh, that guy's trying. Let's go be a leader. Most people are like, no, dude, you know what that guy did? And I felt like everybody was looking at me, like, when I wanted to change, that I couldn't change.

Yeah.

And so I watched Garrett and I saw him all black, you know, and they're like working out and shit. And I was like, dude, it's over. And no lie. I immediately took that, what I saw him doing with these men, took sales training, did a two day event and said, hey, number one, if you come to my event, you're gonna work out.

It's so great.

No, you're gonna work out. We're gonna make. We had people throwing up everywhere.

It was a sale. It was a sales event. You're making them work out.

Carries all this crazy when you go to a sales. But, you know, that's how I grew.

Yeah.

I'm gonna tell you this. Had I. And by the way, had I worn suits, like, all the sales guys would. No one would know my name.

Nobody.

Okay. Had I not gone black, like, that.

Had a.

Not gone, you know, like freaking beast mode. Psycho. Really trying to recreate humans and not just teach them a skill. Right. You know, which I was sawing you do. We wouldn't have ever really changed anyone's life. They would learn a couple word tracks and presentation skills, and they would have forgot us and moved on. We broke people down until they would throw up, cry, lose it. And then that bond that, like, sweat together, bleed together, stay together, deal, that was the brotherhood. I didn't even know there was a brotherhood. Yeah, but that was the brotherhood. And I was like, yeah, it was the bond.

Bond in the breakdown.

And then watch this the first day because we broke them down with the workouts. And Jackie, she went through everything with it. It was just me and her.

Yeah.

Were you leading it, too?

I was making them throw up.

She'll do 100 pull ups, 100 push ups. She'll go run 10 miles.

Savage.

I mean, she's. But she went with me on this fitness journey. And then in 2021, we started hiring our team because we just had a lot of leads. We couldn't handle it. And then we started building the team. But I'm gonna tell you, had she not triggered me and I had a choice. You said, was I mad? I had a choice to either own my shit, look in the mirror, and just become a real man, or stay a loser.

Yeah. Well, how many wives bite their tongue and they don't say how they feel? And then they grow to resent each other, and then they live separate lives and they don't even know how to answer what got them there, and they.

Don'T even really like each other anymore.

No.

And then somebody cheats, and then you're like, oh, I didn't see that coming. And you're like, well, like, you didn't really work on your marriage. But women, I always say that all the time. I'm like, it's your responsibility to communicate to your man, and sometimes he's not going to like it.

Yeah.

I'm like, but that's our responsibility too, in a sense, like, call him out. But for Garrett, I'm like, hey, he's a very reactive man. How do I delicately tell him to get his together?

When I was that, that was my. That was my Achilles heel, too. Was just my. The same reactivity as power in the world with men, because it's not reactivity. It's just power and intensity. But when you bring it back, the same response that I would get from her, I just had no capacity to not overwhelm her. Even in therapy, our therapist would be like, she's like a little plant. You're a giant tsunami. And every time she tries to talk, you just flood her with water. And I was like, God, I don't like this therapist. And I was like, never knew how to deal with my reactivity. And that piece made it really difficult to try to grow. But if a woman doesn't, and. And that's the scary part. It's a part. If you could dig deep into anybody's life, it's the same thing. All of our men's events, women's events, we'll read all their applications coming. It's the same storyline. Women are Upset?

Yeah.

Men are upset. Women feel alone. Men feel alone, and no idea how to cross the chasm. And inevitably, it takes a powerful woman like you, like Danielle, to reach into our worlds, called by God to do it, like, wake the up. What is wrong with you? We are going to the point that two years ago, she came to me.

Well, he was in this space where he was, like, very numb. And I was like, I don't care about the house, the cars, or anything else. I'm like, I can't feel you. And I was like, so I'm out if, like, we're not connected. Like, I'm out. Like, I was. He had gotten so bad at that point where, like, I felt like I was dying inside. And I was like, I do not tolerate this, and I'm not going to not communicate this to you because I would like it to work. But I can't live in this space where I'm like, okay, I can't feel and connect you. Right. And so it was just waking him.

Back up my heels for, like, three months. I was very open to all my. All my guys, too. Everybody always knows what's going on with us. I'm just share. Here's what's happening.

People knew.

The eight years between our two teenagers and our toddlers, those were like, we think we're going to be together. We want to be together, but there's so much scarring and so much resentment and trying to put together. Plus, run the brands and the hair world and run Warrior and try to keep it all together while being in a world where your whole life is seen in a fishbowl.

Right.

Which is where you drive. So we're gonna track another question. Who saw who first? Go back to when you met. Who was the first one that made the move inside each other?

Who.

Who saw who and who made the first move?

Well, I was in Oklahoma. Right.

Okay.

And I was 26 and she was 24. She just had moved from Arizona to Oklahoma, and. Which I have no clue why she moved there, but she told me why. But. But when I. She's Latina. Right. And obviously, I look. And by the way, no, no. It's not like I don't like blonde girls or anything like this, but I dated blonde girls my whole life.

Yeah.

This is just my. Like, it was all blonde girls.

Yeah.

My whole life. And then there was this. I mean, there could be a golden retriever running down the road. I'd be like. It was like everything was blonde. It was like, that was. Right. I grew up Pamela Anderson Age. Exactly. Right. I mean, I'm a young kid. I mean, I'm just being honest.

Right.

You know, and I get made fun of a lot just by speaking, but I. I literally saw Jackie, and I'm like, dude, who's that Mexican with a fat ass? You know what I'm saying? And it was Jackie and I.

You didn't know I was Mexican.

No, but, like, the brunette was what I thought first.

She's the Latina.

Because I never really like Burnettes.

Yeah.

And anyways, I was. We kind of. She worked in that store. I worked over here. We kind of got each other's number. We were in the same room. Company.

Okay.

Yeah. So we work.

We didn't work together.

Company. But she was, like, for there, and I was here.

Okay.

We're on the same lot. And so, like, we were, like, competitors. Right. But she worked in car sales. Yeah. Jackie sold cars. She got into finance. She was in finance at this point, and I was a manager over here. Got it. And then one day on New Year's, I just. You know, I told her. I was like, hey, I'm gonna go to this party. Do you want to come with me? And then her cousin just died. She's like, no, I'm not going out. And then I was like. I called her that night. I was like, hey, come meet me. And then she's like, nope. And I was like, she's like, call me back in an hour or something or 30 minutes, and if you do, I'll meet you.

I thought he was drunk. So I'm like, I just went and laid down.

But I did call her back in an hour. Right. And then she came out. She literally came out. She met me.

Because I keep my word.

Yeah. And then I tried. I tried to kiss her. Jackie always keeps her word, which is really good. She did keep her word. She came out, and I was with all my friends. We were partying. And anyways, I tried to kiss her that night. And she's like, I'm not kissing you. She's like, no.

I think it was more of a hunt thing for him because he'd never been rejected before.

Yeah. Well, then the next day, she's like, call me tomorrow. And I just called her tomorrow. And then, really, from that next day, for the whole next year, we were together. She had her own place. But every day, I was like, don't go home. Stay here. Don't go home. Stay here. And I went from, like, honestly being a slut to just, like, being.

He was worse than the guys. Like, on Wedding, you've seen Wedding Crashers. Like, he was, like, I mean, 100 times worse.

I was a car guy back in the Wild West. I was honestly just one of those guys. And I wasn't thinking about ever settling down.

Yeah.

But Jackie was, like, super cool. Like, I could laugh. We were having fun, you know, she was cool. She had an underdog story. So did I. I kind of.

Then, you know what?

This is so crazy. And everybody's story is different, right? But I never asked her about herself. I never wanted to know her past. I never wanted to know anything.

It was refreshing for me. Not that I had anything to fear.

I married her, and I didn't even know her past. And honestly, I felt like when I met her, like, I was really cold towards women. I was kind of a piece of shit, really. And when I met her, it was the first time I ever felt, like, warm and, like, loved.

We were kind of the opposite. Like, he was the warmer one, and I wasn't in this case. So I think he was used to, like, the opposite with all these girls being like, oh, let me. Let me touch your legs, or. And I was never like that. I was more like. He was the one that would tell me, like, hey. Like, he was the more affectionate one in this case, and I was the one that was always, like, making decisions and leading. But when it came to our relationship, like, it was never my idea. Like, oh, we need to get married or we need to have kids or, we need to do this. Like, I was. I wasn't going to be the girl that was going to push him to make those decisions because I didn't ever want to be that girl, you know?

Did you see him, like, before you. Before he made the phone call? Like, did you see him across office? Did you notice him at all at that point? Did you notice him? Or was this a. Was this a hunting notice? You were hunted in the notice.

I was more like, I was hunted in this case because he was the complete opposite of what I was, like, attracted to, you know, because I was very corporate. I always, like, dressed, you know, differently. He was, you know, the guy with the frosted tips and the food. You know, I was like. It was just like. And I was more like, leaderless generation.

No, literally, when I met him, I.

Was like, who's this guy with the bleached hair walking towards me?

He was really cocky, and I was just like, this is completely the opposite. Like, I was so used to, like, I was so corporate. So I looked for, like, more the well spoken guy. He was completely like different. Chewed with his mouth open. I was like, this is not my type at all. So it was just completely different. So when people would talk about him like, who are you talking about? Yeah, it was, he was so crazy.

Coming in and out every second of the day, like telling our story.

It's so funny.

I had a little. You know how you guys got a Yorkie, right? So I had this girl that I was dating, right?

Had like three of them.

I bought a yorkie or she bought a couple of them, whatever. I thought I probably bought them, you know, and then we broke up or something. I was like it, I'm keeping the dogs. You know what I'm saying? Right.

So I.

But whatever it was, I had these dogs that were in the house. Little Yorkies and pissed everywhere and they're just the worst trained dogs ever. And by the way, like Jackie walked in, she's like, you're. How is disgust? It's a bachelor pad. It just looked like it was like.

A, a Scarface house back now you have modern stuff again. But he had like the white couch back then with the palm tree lit up in the middle of the house. I was like, what is Arnold Schwarzenegger pictures?

You had Beyonce and Britney Spears posters. Okay.

So I had six roommates too. She'd stay over and we, me and my roommate had like two queen mattresses.

Yeah, he's 25. And I'm like, you share a room with a guy, you can't afford your own room.

No, it wasn't even about for your room. We just together.

That's what I said. There was five of us. We parted. We had a big hot tub in the back. We all did our own deal. But listen, the Yorkies would chew up all the girl shoes.

So they had a bunch of girls apparently because they were all sluts, chew up all of the shoes. All of the shoes. So I was the first girl. They never chewed my shoes.

These are too nice.

I was scared of you.

She's been Daisy. And I was like, you like her? You know, I mean, cuz she wouldn't, would. The dog would chew every female shoes up in the house every night. There were five pairs of. Of destroyed. You'd hear the girls, the dog chewed my damn heels up. These were fifteen hundred dollar heels. You'd hear them and we would just crack up. They never touched her heels. Not one.

Never chewed on one when you knew.

And I was like, dude.

Don'T go.

Home, stay here with me. And the dogs wouldn't mess with their either. And so it was like, she's my girl.

But you know, you know, dogs don't.

Like, they don't truth telling dogs from the beginning.

Yeah, dogs are smart, man. But I think one of the biggest things is, you know, you guys are where you are, right? We are where we are. There was a time, I know you went through it and we went through it too. And if you want to talk about some real marriage stuff is that, you know, I, I told Jackie, you know, we. So we started life, we have started having kids. We started, you know, like living the American dream or getting, you know, the house, the cars and all the shit. And you're just consuming everything that we thought that we needed to be happy. But then, you know, as like the pressure gets on, we gotta pay stuff off, we gotta go, I'm going harder at work. Then it's like I start making decisions based off money. I do because I need to make us money. And by the way, this is important because you seem like an independent person, right?

Very.

Jackie's an independent person, which means if she wouldn't be with me, she would still be successful.

Yep.

She was still gonna freaking have a badass marriage, a badass kids, badass life. She was still gonna do it. And to me, that always bothered me because everyone needed me.

Yeah.

And she don't need me. Yeah. And that, and I think that was the reason why I straightened up with her. Because every other person I was with was like, please take care of me. And Jackie was like, I don't need you to take care of me. And I was like, I don't like that, you know, because I don't feel very needed. You know, she wants me, but she doesn't need me. Which means if I don't get my together, she can leave and I'm just going to be stuck with all these other people that, you know, like, that I've been with before. This is the one I need to take care of her. Like, this is different and she levels me up. But there was a time in a period where when Jackie was taking care of the kids, going through the mother stage, she stepped out of business. And Jackie was still trying to relay to me, like, hey, I don't think that that's a good company to go work for. I don't think that that guy's a good leader. I don't think that that guy's got the right intentions for us and our family. I don't think what you're doing with those people is like kosher and Then I remember she would start to warn me. And then, because I'm the man, you know, I'm making the money, you know, I. You know, look at us now. And I became ungrounded. And I forgot that she was my. My most powerful person in my life. My protector, my best friend, my fantasy, My wife, the children, you know, my mother, the children, or the mother of my children. I mean, my workout partner. Like, all these things started to fade. She's mom. And then now I gotta go lead the house. And I remember her telling me, this is a warning, because somebody's watching this. And they're like, I wouldn't take that from my girl. I'm gonna tell you, you need to listen. Because they don't just run their mouth unless you got the wrong girl. And they're just being an idiot. Like, Jackie doesn't speak, like, loose words. Like, if something's going on, she'll always tell me how she feels. And she has a very good intuition, and most women do have a really good intuition. And Jackie said. I remember I told her. I was like, hey, you're nagging me. And I started telling her because. And you know what? It shut her up. So I was like, hey, why are you nagging me? And it did shut her up. And I was like, oh, that's cool. Because now I'm not getting. She's not bitching at me.

You're free.

I'm free. Well, number one, almost went to jail, ran with the wrong people, got caught in a lot of trouble, came this close to going to jail. And I'm not a bad person. I just ran with the wrong people. I didn't realize what we were doing was wrong. I didn't realize that that person was not a good influence on me, you know? And I'm always a person where, you know, like, I trust people way too easy, I think. I think everybody's got my best interest. And she's like, they're trying to. You. I can see it. And I'm like, no, babe, you don't understand how this works. And then she'd be like, okay, finally. Okay, I'm the nag. Fine. Go. Go do it. She isolated, and, dude, she was right on all of it. And then finally, I come to her. Almost went to jail. Came to her crying, and I'm just bawling. I mean, I'm crying. I hate myself. And, you know, of course, the answer is, I told you all of this was wrong. And I was like, I hate me. And she's like, okay, you know what? We're gonna do. She's like, we're gonna tell the truth. You're gonna change. You're gonna become a better man. And, you know, and so that's why I try to tell people. I'm like, dude, listen, if you are in a marriage, if you're gonna be with anybody and you're gonna make anything, you know, when Jackie tells me something, she. Her goal is to make me the greatest man ever to make me, to keep me in great shape. And also, like, hey, I bring a lot of craziness to the table. That fuels that, that honesty that she brings. Yeah, I do. I'm pretty crazy. So I make a lot of shit happen, but without her telling me the truth. I always say this. Most people live a life where they don't want anyone around them that's going to tell them the truth.

Do you take all of her. Her truths, like, or do you take some. You're like, I hear you, but I feel differently.

No, like, I take them all. Hey, listen, I'm allowed.

He'll still fight a little bit, which I like. Honestly, I'm just gonna lie because I don't want to push over.

She doesn't want me to be a pussy. Okay. If I'm like, okay, baby, whatever you say.

Yeah.

No, dude, like, no. Like, no, no. Like, we're gonna win. We're gonna push this thing, we're gonna go crazy. But when she's like, we're not hiring that guy, I don't fight it. Yeah, like, I'm not good with it. If she's like, we're not doing business with that guy, I'm not gonna fight it. And see, Jackie, this is so good. And this is why, like, women are really the marriage couple. So good.

Yeah.

Because Jackie always says, we know what we have with somebody when we piss them. Him off, we know what we have. So he'll. He'll grab someone. He's like, dude, this guy's a badass. We're going to do this thing. She's like, cool, let's piss him off. Yep. And I'm like, babe, we don't want to piss him off. She's like, no, we want to piss him off. Because I want to know when he's pissed off, how he's going to offer with us.

And how about an Izzy?

Yeah. There was this guy when we started building our business. We're doing good. This, this deal came up. It's like a hundred million dollar deal that we could do together. And, you know, and that changes a lot of Things. And she's like, there's three people and that guy Andy. There's something about that guy. And I was like, babe, I promise you, he's just different. He's analytical. That's how those people are. And she goes, no, no. You know what? We're this close to doing everything she said. Tell them. Tell them we're going to hold off. Tell them thank you for their time. We all put a lot of energy, effort, money, capital into all of this. We're going to wait six months.

Months.

Let's. Let's just. We're all going to think on it. Tell them we got a lot of things going on, and we'll get back to them and thank you, but we're going to wait six months just to see. Well, and she didn't. And I knew she was doing it as a test, because it's always a test. And, you know. And anyways, I told the guy. He flipped. That guy. He threatened. Listen, you want to.

With me?

You want to do this? You don't understand. The guy goes back in his Facebook group, starts telling everybody how bad of people we are. Now you goes, that's what I was talking about. She was imagining you would have signed paperwork, contracts, attorneys, all that stuff. Are you kidding me? And, dude. And anyways, my deal is he. I'm a sales guy, so I'm always like, you're a great guy, right? You know we're gonna win on this thing, right? Like, you're always gonna be loyal to me, right? Yeah, Right. And she's like, dude, you just told him everything that you wanted to hear. Jackie will run you off. She'll talk you out of everything. It's. Listen, you understand this. When you work here, you understand how hard you're gonna work, right? Right. Like, you understand you're working around Alphas. These guys, they give everything. They're crazy. They're the best. When you come here, you're not going to be very good. I know you're the best at your last job, but when you come here, you're going to get your ass kicked.

That's what I tell them.

Do you really want to come here? You understand you're going to be the lowest on the totem pole for this company for probably a few years. You'll probably go broke and lose everything working for us. And see me, I'm like. I'm like, hey, my top guy makes. You know, he made 4 million last year.

Yeah.

She's like, no, no, no, no, no. You're going to freaking tell him the worst case scenario. And that's why she tells him next.

Then you don't get entitled. Please.

Yeah. So women are dangerous, man. They're so good. Listen, the right woman and then a guy who's willing to be coached. Right. Because we're coaches. So at the end of the day, she is my greatest coach. Yep, she is. She knows everything behind the scenes. Dude, I was talking to this guy one night about a marriage, and me and her were fighting, and I was like, dude, if you don't take care of your wife, you know, and I looked over at her, and she's like. I'm like, I gotta call you back.

I'm like, I gotta get an integrity before I finish this call.

You don't want me to tell him the truth? And she's like, I don't even know how you can talk to him about that when we're fighting.

Yeah.

And I'm like, oh, the accountability is so strong. She's the ultimate. She's like. And she. Jackie goes, if you want higher levels of wealth, marriage, parenting, fitness, higher levels, accountability.

Yeah.

Look, dude, you either want it or you don't.

So when you. When you come down, like, when you're seeing it from that perspective, come back to, like, the nudge. Mine was, Danielle's a critical. I was like, why are you so crazy?

I was, like, telling him stuff. And then I was like, wait, I'm not protecting my family by not speaking up, of course, but, you know, I.

Have to be careful with Drew. She did the same thing. She just stopped talking to me about it, and then I did the same thing, which was. Was. Thank God. So tired of the bitching at me and critic. Critical talk. I'm just trying to do my. Take care of our family. Thank God. When you go silent. When you went silent, that's the powerful women that we met across the board do this. Was this deliberate? Like, did you think that, hey, I'm just gonna withdraw and let him fall on his face and do what he's gonna do? Or was it a. I'm done fighting and not being heard, Was it. I'm not being seen by him? Like, what was. What was going on in your mind?

Well, I think a lot of times, especially when it comes to women that are used to taking, like, care of themselves, I went back to the independent stage, where I knew that we had more of. Instead of being having, like, an intimate relationship, we more. We went more to, like, a business relationship. It was like, okay, well, you know, some women are like, oh, I'll take The kids to soccer, and you make sure you pick up the laundry and you do this. It's more of a business thing. So we went through a stage of having a business relationship instead of having that intimacy. And then it got to the point where I was like, hey, I didn't sign up for this shit. Like, I'm not gonna keep quiet, you know? And we had to come up with some rules to fighting. We're like, if someone wins, no one wins. Like, I'm not gonna live this life and be that woman that goes and just settles. So I'm like, I'm gonna keep triggering him until he. He wakes up. And that's what we decided to do. But, yes, I went through a stage where, you know, like, I told him, I said, we learned to live without you. I started focusing on the kids. I started focus. Focusing on myself. And it wasn't. I. I just really wasn't really paying attention or looking at him. I almost, like, you know, it's so crazy because you're in a relationship and we're massively, you know, attracted to each other, but there was a time where it was like we were kind of disgusted with each other, you know, because, you know, you don't feel hurt and you don't feel like you're growing and you don't feel fulfilled. So I just was like, hey, you know what? This is a problem. And not just with him. It's a problem with me. It was a problem with me not living out to my potential because I'm settling with myself. So I just needed to wake up in that sense. And it's like, hey, if I'm going to have to fight for what I believe in, then that's just. That's just me. I'm going to have to go freaking psycho until he really understands and sets some ultimatums, and then he'll. Because he loves us. And I knew what the answer was going to be. I just knew that I wasn't communicating it in the right way.

Way. What are your rules to fighting?

Well, there's. There's a lot of them. There's a fighting fair. Not getting historical. If someone wins, no one wins, you.

Know, and not getting historical. They'll really help me.

Yeah, I just, like, don't bring up the past.

Yeah.

Like, if I forgive him for something.

Then don't bring it back up a dangle and be like, remember that one time.

Really watch.

Like, if Garrett. If you look in Garrett. If you look at Garrett and you say, listen, I. I believe in you. Like, I love you, like, you're not a bad guy. You're a good guy. You're not a hard, hard, cold guy. You're a loving guy, Right? Like, when you say that to me, like, you reprogram me. But so when we're fighting, right, if we're fighting about something, we're fighting about this right now. And when you bring up the past, it triggers. Yeah. And by the way, like, listen, for any. For ladies, men, ultimately, there's a. I believe there's a really good man inside everyone, and he's just trying to figure out how to come out. And the worst thing that you could do. I mean, this. If there was one thing that anybody got on this podcast, it'd be the worst thing you could do is remind a man of who he used to be when he's trying to change. Because then we get furious and we were like, all right, fine. You want that guy? Fine, fine. Overbearing us. And we're like, and we will be a bad person in spite of even wanting to be good just because we want you to see what that bad person looks like that you keep talking about. And, dude, it's literally self sabotage. Yeah, it is. Like, totally burning the whole freaking family to the ground. And so that's why also, the woman has to trigger the man, tell him the truth, but then also remind him of who he is. Because, dude, listen, if you forget to remind us of who we are, part we're screwed. And guys also need to be talked to a certain way. If Jackie's like, pick your up off the floor. I'm like, what?

I realized there's the face, right? Because one day I was in the bathroom.

This is huge. The face to me.

Yeah.

The faces changes everything. How do you tell me I see your face and if it's a good one?

No, I caught myself one day, I walked into the bathroom, and we have mirrors everywhere, right? And I'm telling him something, and I'm thinking, I'm coaching him, right? And then I go and I catch myself this idea of my face. And I was like, holy. I wouldn't listen to myself with that face either. And I was like, man. So I just. It's really that delivery women sometimes were terrible arrest face.

Telling someone, coaching. It's like, we coach people. Like, man, come on, man. You know that I, like, want to be talked to in that. In that face all the time. Come on, baby. Can you pick your stuff up? Yes. Yes. Can you do this? Yes.

Yes.

Hey, go do that.

What? No.

And I learned also that you have to train the husband to do things. It's like women we complain about, like, I wish she helped me around the house for years. Years. I'm like, well, why don't you explain what you want help with? You want help taking out the trash, you have to go teach him like a five year old. Okay? This is how you take out the trash from the trash can. This is how you pull the drawstring on that when you go and take it out to the curb or whatever it is. This is the recycling bin. This is. You have to teach them that way. Well, I'm not gonna talk to him like a 5 year old, okay? Freaking complain for 20 years and keep saying, I need help around the house. You need to talk to them like 5 year olds. Sometimes it needs to happen that way.

I had to teach Garrett how to make waffles.

Well, there you go.

Like, literally every Sunday, he'd make waffles there.

Waffles.

Every Sunday, he'd make waffles with the kids. And I'd come down because I like the sleeping in a little longer and I appreciate him watching the kids. And I'd come down, but it looked like the waffle batter exploded over the whole kitchen.

I did.

And I was like, okay, it's really cute that he's making waffles, but I'm so pissed right now.

Yeah.

And so I was like, how do I work on this delivery? And so I just. I was kind of bitchy about it.

I'm like, way too much.

No. And then finally, I was like, you know what? He doesn't know I need to teach him how to make waffles. So I, like, grabbed the container. I'm like, look, it doesn't even have to be messy. This is how you crack the shel. I'm, like, really sweet about it. Next Sunday, I come down and he still makes a mess. And I was like, I taught him how to make the waffles. And he was like, you don't see that I'm having fun with the kids. And I'm like, you don't see that this is important to me. It was like. It was like a fight for, like, two months.

We would be so good. We would have, like, the hottest sex Saturday night, like, just all over the place. Strip teas all the whole night. And then I'd get up, let her sleep in and with the girls, like, to help make the waffles. And it kind of fucking gets everywhere. And so we have fun and we get it all over the place. And we're like making the waffles and burning ourselves on the waffle plan. So first thing she'll do, after I've covered the kids for three hours so she can sleep in, she'll walk in and go critical about the waffles. I'm like, you're not seeing the fun we're having. First comment. So then after two months of saying this, she did teach me. And then I was like, okay, her way might be a little cleaner. Can we still have fun doing it?

Now you're good, though. Now he makes waffles, and he knows he cleans it up before I even get downstairs because I used to have to clean up the mess. And so now you clean it up. And now there's no. There's no unnecessary fight about waffles.

Women's love languages. Like, the things. When you have young kids, it's not like, oh, babe, I'm bringing you flowers. I'll put the kids to bed so you can go.

Yeah, exactly.

Shower. I'll help load the dishwasher. Or I'll take out the. It's the craziest thing, but it's the truth.

It is cleaning the. Listen, it was. It was. The next track to our sex life was having the waffles clean.

Clean. Well, because I'm like, listen now.

Love you so much. Thank you so much. For you.

I can't believe.

Then she came down, like, every weekend to be cleaned up and kids have.

Eaten, and then you got a quickie in the afternoon because the kitchen was clean. I was like, yeah, you would win by cleaning up.

I didn't know. I. But I found out.

Yes.

I'm slow to it. It took me two and a half months, but I got there.

No, that's clean waffles.

Women are not that go time. We just like our space clean.

No, let's rephrase that. Women are complicated.

Yeah. And then you're finding freaking ways to make waffles and clean them up.

I'm making waffles. Hey, what are you doing? Kids aren't even home from school. Just making waffles and clean them up. You know what time it is? It's waffle time, babe. Let's go. Hey, I hope you're enjoying the show. This quit interrupt here from whatever it was we were talking about. Probably my wife's ass on the Internet or some other thing. Like my balls on the Internet. Something in that genre. Listen, inappropriate as it is, is what I can tell you is that living the warriors way is the backbone to everything we've built. It is the foundational operating system for a man and. Or a woman to learn how to have it all every single day. It is the pursuit of freedom in a very systematic and gamified approach. We've been doing it now for 12 years. We've guided tens of thousands of men and women to figure it out themselves, too. For a free trial today, go check it out@warriorlaunch.com.

It'S crazy how every. I'm just listening to you guys. But every successful marriage. Right? Right. Is all the same.

Yes.

I mean, there's different, like, demons, Right, that try to fight us, but, like, God attacks the. The marriage.

Yeah.

He attacks what's valuable, which is the marriage. The marriage is the key front of everything. And Jackie, the same deal is that, you know, I. I would come home tired, and then, you know, she was obviously tired all day long too, but I didn't think about her. And then, you know, when I. When I tell her, hey, you know, one time I said, hey, you know, go take a bath. Go take a shower. I'll brush the kids teeth. You know, I'll give them a shower and I'll clean up. And I did the dishes, dude, I. That night, just doing that, I saw a whole new woman born. When she walked out, she was like, the dishwasher's loaded. There's no dishes in the sink. The. The kitchen's all wiped down. You put the kids to bed, you brush your teeth, you gave them a shower that night. That was like, super freak.

Yeah.

Then he was looking for clean, nasty. She's ever been in her whole life.

I'm a professional.

Every night from then, I was, oh, this is how we roll. And basically what it is is that it's just a standard. And the women have standards about things that we don't think about. And we also have standards and things that she don't think about. Like, you know, with the guys, I'm always talking about, like, fitness, fitness, fitness, fitness, fitness. And I'm into that deal, and I know that she wants to work out, but she's not a. She's not an extreme. She's not extreme. She'll go with us. She'll go do extreme shit, but that's all I'm thinking about. Like, we. We both think about different things in our heads that, like, get us off, you know what I'm saying? And I need to understand, you know, her and most people, I learned, they never really become best friends. You know, I ask people all the time. I'm like, oh, y' all been married 15 years. Are you really best friends? And they're like, yeah. And I'm like, cool, what's his fantasy? And you'll ask the wife, and she's like, what do you mean? I'm like, what's your husband's fantasy? And they're like. And like, you're not best friends. What's her fantasy? He's like, I don't know. Do you got one, babe? I'm like, she's got one. Don't be an idiot. Tell them what it is. And they get weird. And I'm like, see, that's the best friends. See, the best. The best friend is the person that you tell everything to. Yeah, it's the per. It's the person that you know. And this is. This is where me and her got really close. Honestly, I was always afraid that Jackie was judging, and so I wouldn't be fully open with her. You know why I got in trouble and almost went to jail? Because when there were problems, I didn't come to her with them because I was so afraid to come to her with those problems. I knew how disappointed she was going to be in me that I didn't even want to talk about it. So I just dug my hole deeper. And so, really, truly, I think the greatest marriage advice you can get is that your wife has to be your best friend.

Yeah.

You got to stay close, and you can't. And listen, if she tells me something and I judge her, she'll never tell me again. If. If I tell her something and immediately she goes into disappointment on me, I'm never going to tell her again because I'm afraid that I can only tell her good news.

Right.

It's a level of vulnerability is giving someone the power to hurt you, but trusting them.

Yeah, I know. It's giving your partner your absolute heart. You're like, oh, this is going to sting. But, like, here you go.

Well, so I think, though, that that's why when you're open to somebody or when you're in a marriage, when you're open, I think it's really important to make sure that you don't get hard on someone. Right. When they tell you something. Because if you do, it's like my son, if he does. If he does something and he tells me, and I'm like, why did you do that?

Yeah. Yeah.

It's like, no, as long as you tell me the truth forever, I promise you I will back you and support you on anything. Just tell me the truth. Tell me everything. So I can't.

They have to Understand that you're always going to be.

I need him to not be afraid to tell me. I need my daughters not to be afraid to tell me. I mean, they're little girls coming up. I mean, I'm like, if. If I trip when they tell me something that's bad, they're never going to tell me again. And I think that's what husband and wives do, is that we, like, we trip on each other when something's not right instead of saying, hey, you know what happens?

Right.

Life's hard. Okay.

Yeah.

What are we going to do to solve this together? Let's solve this together, you know?

How did you. Declan, how did you. So, like, we've talked about this a ton, too. This on. Because the honesty and the vulnerability and authenticity opens up darkness, it opens up light. It opens up the full range of the keyboard. And there is a risk for 99% of the couples because somebody has to go first and take it on the cross and then be able to still hold their ground. For you as a woman, being able to open up to Andy, knowing he's this intense. I'm the same intense. He's this intense, highly reactive at times. Gonna be powerful and do it. And that's tough. To hear the whole truth as a woman, how did you get to a place where you felt either courageous enough or felt powerful enough or felt safe enough in you to just say, fuck it? I'm going full send that direction with it. I'm going to share fantasies, I'm going to share truth, dark, light, the whole thing.

Well, I think that that was my problem too, as well. Not just he's talking about his issues. I mean, I had a massive amount of issues too, so I just think it was me, that sense of that independence, not ever wanting to lose that.

That.

And really feeling like, oh, yeah, we had the kids, we had each other, we had all this. But then me, like, really feeling that I was able to trust and, like, be. Be who I needed to be. And as it gone to. Gone through, like, with. With time. And I mean, we still go through it now. Like, sometimes reactiveness is something that when somebody is such high energy and just. Just is so driven that way, sometimes it. Men are just looking to just solve everything sometimes. And women, we. Sometimes we just like to talk. And as we're talking, we're solving through problems on our own. We just want to be heard sometimes. And that's a. That's a chick thing. I don't know why it's stupid, but that's what happens. But, like, now, like, I have a rule. Like, if I'm telling him an issue that we have at work, for example, today, like, I'll be like, hey, where's your phone? And I grab his phone and I'm like, okay. And I put it, like, so, so far away. Because I know, as if I'm telling him something, like, there's an issue with this person. Did you see that they're doing this? Like, all this. Like, yeah, right away, he's already texting.

Well, we need to find smart.

I need to do that. Like, seriously, because he's very active, that it's like, hey, I'm just saying we need to watch this. Or maybe we just need to ask some questions and see we can help him with something so that we can come together and, you know, tackle this in. In a loving way, but also coach them in the way that they need to be coached, because it might not be that big a deal. Or maybe we just need to look at it or ask them why they're doing this. You know, their intentions might be good. Like, we never know. But before I get through the whole conversation, he's all like, there's a big, big, long thing. And I was like, I knew I can't tell you about this stuff. Like, you're already so reactive. So, like, we have certain rules. I mean, I'm not saying that we've completely, like, changed everything about each other. You know, we. We still go through certain things. But, yeah, like, I pull his phone and I'm like, hey, it's way far. You don't even know where it's at. Like, I'm sharing some issues with you right now, and we solve through things. But I think it was just. Just knowing that you have.

Have.

You know, all we have is each other. You look at things and I, you know, you have to ask yourself that question. Like, if I were to get sick, is this person going to be with me no matter what? Or if we're gonna go through some crazy, you know, and, you know, hits the fan and everybody else is going to bail on me, who's going to be there? Like, you guys are going to be there for each other. So why do we always try to show everybody else our best and maybe show each other our worst? I mean, and we decided to switch that around, and we're like, hey, hey, you know what? We're going to be real with these people. Then, like, even when we have events, sometimes if, like, and I go and I speak or whatever is like, listen, I'm not Freaking, you know, we're not 100%. I'm not speaking like, screw that. I'm not going to go and tell people, like, how we are and not really feel it. So I like, I'm like, make sure that we take care of us first before the whole world. And I've made that kind of a rule. So that helps me speak up and say things that I feel and feel like I'm a real person and not just, like, trying to please the whole crowd. I think that's what keeps us grounded.

Yeah. Well, Danielle, what about you? I mean, you've gone through the same process. You've had to trust. I've done plenty to break that trust over 23 years.

I mean, I've gone through my phases where I'm like, I don't want to poke the bear. And then, like I said, it didn't serve me. I was like, I'm literally, like, dying. I feel like I, I, maybe I need to work on my delivery. I don't know what it is. I'm like, but I can't, like, withhold these feelings or if it's about somebody, I'm like, hey, maybe he takes this advice, maybe he doesn't. But I feel like I need to show him some red flags or whatever it is is. Because even in the past, like, when the market crashed, what was that, 2008? Like, I saw things crashing and saw it coming down, and I didn't say anything or do anything. And after we had to rebuild our businesses, I was like, that was part of my fault, and I will never be silent again. It is my responsibility when I see this ship going in the wrong direction that I course corrected right? And I didn't do that. And so that was, for me, it was something like, where I'm like, hey, I have to speak my truth. And as now, I'm just getting better with, like, my delivery, because I'm like, hey, if I poke the bear, then he's not going to hear my message. And then I'm just going to go into, like, shutdown. I'm going to wall up. I'm going to go through this resentment, and it doesn't work. And so I don't know when I want to bring up, like, important conversations. I find, like, good times to do it, you know, like at night when we're tired with the kids. Never a good time. That's always when a fight starts. And even now, like, a couple weeks ago, we had. Yeah. Oh, you don't sleep all night. You're just, like, mad that you had such a stupid fight because you're both tired and hungry.

Right.

And so I don't know. For me, it's just like communicating, but like noticing when the right time is to communicate so that we both win.

Yeah, it's true. And how you talk to each other is huge. You know, I always say, you know, you want to be direct, you have to earn the right to be direct. And if he knows that my heart is in it and he knows that I'm doing it to make him better, then he will listen. If I'm just doing it without the heart there and I'm just doing it to prove a point, then I'm just the bitch. I don't wanna be a bitch. And that goes in everything in business, in parenting, and in marriage. You have to earn that right to be direct. They have to understand that, you see, because the last thing he wants to do is disappoint me. The last thing he wants for me to do is to be like, man, you know what? You screwed up. But if I can do it in a way that. That I can show him that I still believe in him and I'm still proud of him that he made a mistake and that's not who he is.

Right.

Then he'll fight for me.

I think the wild part is probably the same for you. Andy is like that. When. When it would go south for us in conversation, it was because of this. Because the one person they. They could run, thousands of people could run their mouths about, which they do all day long. And they build big Reddit posts. And I'm a cult leader and I'm a whatever the. And that's been going on for 12 years.

Years.

I don't care about that. I did for about two, three years. Got real react. Now I just laugh. And we use it for marketing. ETs like whatever. That's As a. Sounds like, oh, look, another cat profile. Oh, well done. Yep. You're sure. For sure. Not getting laid. And I go, I don't care. But when this is the one like everything I'm building, even though I'm building it for my own calling and what I know in the end, if you wind it all down right, I'm just this little boy. Yeah.

Who.

Who got the girl and is going. And so to. To feel like I'm not doing enough or my own stories about it. And that's what I had to change for me. She went from critical to like a confidant. The only thing that changed was my. My narrative about what she Was saying, right. And then her energy, which is where? Like, the tonality or the. The energy beyond the words you're saying, which is why you can. People listen to you and they're like, what the fuck? There's like, dude, he yells more than you do. When I was like, ah, he does yell more. I'm just yelling less now. But I. I go back for eight, nine years, and first day, I was yelling every goddamn day all day long. But people receive it because underneath that is this vibrational desire to build people.

Right, Right.

But this is the harpoon to get them. So I want to talk about this undercurrent.

I want to say what you just said, though. The little boy just trying to please, I think. I think, by the way, like, when we're correcting a lot of men right.

Here, for sure, sure.

But let's make sure we correct a lot of women, too. That men, they are looking. If. If you ask me. Really, you want a million cash or do you want to hear that your wife is proud of you? If my wife would look at me and say, I'm very, very proud of you.

Yeah.

Yeah, I'll take that. Over a million cash. That. That little boy. I think women forget that sometimes because men do so many things wrong because we're not very mature. And you resent our us for doing all these things wrong.

Yeah.

And we are just trying to get you to love us.

It's true. And also, we make a mistake.

That's it. Like, so I think, like. Like, women need to also understand that, because when you're going hard on us, you'd be like, hey, maybe he doesn't need his ass ripped right now. Maybe he needs some love.

Yeah. That's the truth. In women, we make that mistake. Like me, especially since you guys, you know. You know, you. You get a lot of, like, hey, you changed my life. You're so amazing. All this. Like, I actually quit complimenting Andy because I was like, he had a big head. Because he gets this, oh, my gosh, I look up to you so much, and like, oh, everybody wants a picture with him. That I quit telling him, like, hey, I'm proud of you. Like, you're doing a good job. Because I knew that he was getting it from everywhere, but it means something completely different. Completely different. And I had to learn, like, man, he needs me to tell him because that means, like, he talked about, like, you can give him a million cash or, you know, say, I'm proud of you. Like, when I do that, when I tell him I'm proud of you. He goes freaking berserk. Like, he goes insane, and he does so much better. Yeah. And, yeah, he gets this superpower that I feel that comes from us women. We have the power to either tear our men down in one second or the power to build them up to feel like they can take over the world. And I realize that I'm not going to get the best Andy unless I do tell him that I'm proud of him.

So, yeah, Danielle started doing this. Started this year. We'll be having sex, and she'll get into my ear here and be speaking affirmations.

No way.

While we're just in my. I've never had such a glory. The thing I've noticed also is I last forever because, like, I'm so enraged.

Andy wouldn't last forever, though.

I don't last forever either.

I just got too. He lasts half the time. I just know I might talk dirty to me. She's like, no, because you're gonna come. Exactly. No, no.

I didn't say, I'll go fast. When she talked dirty, I go downtown real fast.

I'm done.

Dirty talk. It's over. She. She can end me anytime she wants. But this was different. This is like. This isn't like, you know, biting my ear and clawing my back and talking dirty to me. It's. It was different. And we actually learned it here podcast, because we had a couple here, and they do that, and so we started trying it, and it, like, the first night it happened, it was actually down by the pool right downstairs. And she, like, literally was in my ear for 10 minutes straight. Just.

Just.

You are the king. You are the creator. Just going. And I'm like, what the is happening right now? Plus, it's awesome sexually. Plus, it's in my ear. Like, I don't even know what to feel. I'm just like.

Yes.

I was going to say, though, for.

Yes.

More. Tell me more. Tell me again. Say it again.

But it's funny.

I love that.

It's.

It's funny, though. I was bad at it forever. I would never. Like, I'd be like, well, you should know. You're awesome. Why do I have to tell you you're awesome. Like, that was my mindset. And also, like, he gets praised by everyone. And same thing. I'm like, you get all this attention. And then I'm like, wait, do I want him to have all this attention being fulfilled that way from, like, all other people?

Yeah.

And then when I realized that, I was like, oh, I have to make A conscious effort because I'm always so busy and doing my own thing. And I'm just like, you should know. You're the man. And then I was like, well, he does, but he needs to hear it, right?

So it's like, you guys got a new move. So that's your new move. It's monsters. I tried it back to her, Sheila.

It was creepy. I was like, stop it.

And she's like, no, it's only I get to say it. I was like, okay, cool. The other direction. So there's an undertone, too, which I noticed in your content and just in your world that God is like a priority. And that's kind of a weird thing for people because it's a. It's. It is for us too. But people hear how intense you are. They hear the message, they hear the use, and they hear all of this. We laugh because in our word events. Well, guys, that we pray at our events, we. We do. We. We do worship music before we pray at the end. And that didn't really start. Happen until the last couple years, like, which I came to Christ, like, in a real way for me, about three years ago, but I was still working out what that meant because I hated the church world. I wanted nothing to do with it.

It.

And then people hear me, and they'll even hear. In our events, guys will be like, up there quoting scripture and then say a prayer. And we had our. The very first week we did this, one of my guys like, hey, you want to say the prayer? He's. I don't really know how to do that. I was like, well, just go, dude, we'll figure it out. And he's like, lord, we're so grateful for this group of men here. And he looks at me, and I was like, he's like, looking. I said, just go.

We get done.

I was the only place I ever been where the word got said nine times during the prayer. So where does the God conversation sit for you two? And, Jack, I'll start with you. Like, where. Where is that in the organization for you as a couple, for you as a family? Like, what. What does that mean to you?

Well, God comes first. I mean, even our core values. I mean, we have a set of like, 22 core values that we have on every TV posted all over our walls. And the first one is trust in God. I mean, we have it that way because, I mean, without God, you're bankrupt. You know, and the thing is, you know, our kids, I mean, they. They love. You know, there was a. There was a time in our life, you know, was listen to worship music and just kind of go and just, you know, it's just, it's so important. Anytime in business or anything, like you feel like, I mean, there's some tough times that you go through in anything. And the only peace that we've ever found, you know, through all of our, you know, highs and lows, has been through God. So, you know, he comes first in everything that we do. I mean, our team goes to church together, you know, all of that. So we, we're not afraid to talk about God anywhere. Like, we do it everywhere. So it's, it's very important. It's a part of who we are. It's a part of what we preach and a part of all of our success.

So Mandy in our space like this forever. Like when I started, like I went out on stage at Click Funnels like three years ago and just decided to bring a worship team with me, we were dressed all in white and Russell's like, look at me. Every year, like, what are you going to do this time? I was like, he comes back, he's like, oh boy. And I was like, just trust me, dude. So we're going to do this. I'm praying over the whole audience, 5,000 people, like, this is a marketing event. And I was like, when I'm going, I'm just going to go full, full send. But people see the energy and intensity and the conversation to God. And there's this concept from half more of the people that ever watch me, which I guarantee happens for you too, is how can you talk about God in this intense way and still be on God's team when I'm so used to hearing it in this plastic wrap, sanitized little cupcake.

Oh yeah.

Like where when you're communicating it and you're feeling that power and you're unleashed. Talk about that for a second for you. Because it's you. I know you love God. I know he's part of your world. You can't be. I feel it in your videos and I feel it with you here in my house.

Yeah. And I think as, as I've gotten older, I really understand how important he is. Like, we talk about, like, I think our message is so powerful because young people need to find him earlier now way. And I'm finding them way too late. And I'm not saying I didn't hear hear about them, but I mean, I'm finding personally my own relationship. And I believe that, you know, as, as a Christian, as born Again, Christian, I think that people really, they confuse meek for weak.

Yeah, yeah.

And God builds, okay? God's counting on leaders to rise and to lead people and not a bunch of cowards, right? And because you decide to give your life to God means that you should get serious about becoming the greatest leader on planet Earth, you know, and taking care of your family and your children and your income and other people and caring about. It's just like. It's like, that's the word. And God is love. And I wear my heart. Jackie's always like, wear your heart on your sleeve. Make sure when you're going to talk to people that they understand where you're coming from and you love them, right? And so, like, I'm really trying my hardest to make sure, like, I'm not, like, you know, being a football coach with somebody and then also not letting them feel how much I love them. So I'm trying to wear my heart on my. My sleeve. I'm being ultra direct, right? I got to earn the right to have permission to be direct. But, like, with being a Christian and God, like, dude, this last year, every. Every morning in our sales meetings, everybody prays. Our entire team goes to church every Sunday together. Our entire team. There's a hundred of them that go to church together. I mean, everything is God, Everything is Christianity. We all study the John Maxwell Leadership Bible together. All our whole company studies that. That is the number one book, book that we read. People say, what's the greatest book? Honestly, to me, John Maxwell Leadership Bible. The reason why is because it has the Bible. And also he equates it to leadership very well. So number one book I'd recommend everyone to read. It's super huge, by the way. It's everything you want to teach. And if you said, hey, I want to open a coaching company, John Maxwell Leadership Bible, teach out of that your way. Deliver it how you want, man. It's all there. Everything that we teach in our coaching is all biblical. It is biblical. The old has gone, the new has come. Apostle Paul was once Saul the Christian killer. You're the most lost, craziest, whacked out Marriage. Marriage. Psycho. Now all of a sudden, you're freaking great. You love your wife. You'd rather be executed than freaking treat her wrong. It's like, how does all that happen? Dude, it's biblical. Yeah, it's like the craziest thing, but because we got all these damn sheep, I'm just like. And I was one again. I was telling you outside, I was a hater. I Didn't like me. I was a freaking, you know, I didn't like me. I was a pushover. I was a coward. I was being like my father. I wouldn't speak up when something was wrong, wrong. You know, I used to go with Jackie when the food would come out wrong, right? And I would order whatever and they would bring something different and she's like, oh, you didn't order that. And I was like, it's all right, babe, just I'll eat it. You know, it's like I wouldn't even speak up for nothing. Not even for water inside the dealership in that car lot that was my place. And I just, I never thought, honestly, I never thought that I could amount to anything. And then, honestly, dude, I think when I opened up the Internet 2019, I started, started watching all these people. I. I spent, you know, a couple million bucks in, in self investment. I mean, we sold our house, we slept on mattresses. Jackie sold it. I mean we went from having that life in the car life to we. She drove a $3500 car, I drove 1500 car. We sold our million dollar house, which in Oklahoma is like a lot of money because a nice house is 100 grand.

He got a Mazda 3 and I knew when he was getting home because I could smell the clutch. He does not know how to drive.

A funny thing is we doubt downgraded our whole life. We sold all our furniture. We didn't have nothing. And you know what I learned as I'm studying all these big influencers, right? And, and just business people, I'm like, hey, you know, like, man, I want to be like that guy. And then I would spend a lot of money going with that guy. And then that guy's yelling at his wife behind closed doors or, you know, and I'm like, I don't want to be like that guy. You know, and then I was like, I was started realizing, I'm like, okay, I'll take the best and I'll leave the rest. And then I realized I'm like, dude, dude, it's like a cardinal sin to talk about God and be in business. And you know what? I'm already hated. I'm like, I've already hated. And by the way, at the end of our life, as I get older, I'm starting to realize that God is the superpower. He slays every dragon that I have in my life. He solves every problem. He ultimately is everything. And why am I such a freaking idiot? And so now I'm speaking it and I'm not going to speak it anyone else's way. And by the way, I'm not a church. Church, we are the church, but I'm not a church. So I tell people, I'm like, hey, by the way, John Maxwell became a businessman instead of being in a church because he saved more lives through business than they did in the church being a leader. And so honestly, I believe that these churches are great, but you can't go into the church and be super lost. They're going to throw you out. You can't walk into a church and be ultra broken. I walked into Church at 22 years old. There was a sign on the church that said, you know, come in, meet Jesus. And I walked in, holy jeans, affliction shirt. And I remember this lady. And dude, I was, I tried church. And the lady that met me at the front said, I'm sorry you lost. And I, and I tell Jackie this whole time that, and, and I said no, I said, said, come in. And, and she was like, yeah, we don't dress like that in here.

Is that your Sunday best?

Yeah. Is that your Sunday's best? And I'm like, dude, I was like, screw church. Yeah, screw church. And honestly, I think that people in church watch. You got a good heart heart, but you may have a filthy mouth. Why don't the people on the streets that have the clean mouths got filthy ass hearts? So guess what? And they says, God judges the heart. So we love a lot. We got good hearts. And honestly, God also came for the lost. He came for the broken. He said, oh, leave the freaking 99 to Chase.

We're definitely qualified for that one.

So I'm like, if everybody's fucked up and broken and we believe in God and we have proven that we're living proof that we can be transformed right? Then we don't need to be civilized. We don't need to conform to normal churchgoers. Because I'm not building a church. I'm leading people to have a relationship with God.

Yeah.

And then also show them how to be an example why you live.

It's interesting how many like entrepreneurs and business people are starting to bring up the conversation of God.

Yeah.

It's like, why is it the secret thing that nobody wants to talk about? And now it's like, you know what? This is what I believe in and I'm going to share it because this leads and guides me in my life. So why would I not share what's working? Right?

Right?

Men, there's the shift. It started happening about Three, four years ago and then it hit terminal velocity in the last 24 months and it just took enough people I sat on a cruise with when I had first come to Christ. We went, I got invited now to these. Well, two things happened. Number one, I had never been judged by Christians more in my entire life than the minute I said I accept Christ. Like, congratulations, you're wrong, you're bad. You're wrong.

Like what the.

If you go up, put another scripture quote under my comments, I swear to God. Shut the up. Like, what are you talking about? Like. And it was the same thing. Guys would come at me with scripture. I look at them like you're fat as you're definitely in a sex marriage. What? By their fruit you shall know them. I got an arguments with guys, but my plum line is scripture. I said my plum line is fruit. So show me the fruit and I'll listen to you. But if you're just going to quote to me, I don't care. This piece starts shifting is the shift to where men of industry and movement makers years which is what you are. Yeah, you're a warlord, bro. Like, I know your soul now that you're in my home and I'm here with you. No accents, my man. Warlord. Warlords are called to a totally different game. They're to wake the world up. This is impossible inside the confines of the church because the pastors do what the pastors do. Pastors cannot do what we do.

It's true.

We wage war, we don't sing. Worship. Worship is great. Feels amazing. It's wonderful. Lots of people come. Kid care, donuts, coffee. No one picks up the chairs. I do. No one contributes. Except for the 10% of the entrepreneurs that pay for 90 everything. And in our world we have the permission slip not from anyone else. I love that God chose you and said, who am I to send? And so what has he done? He's raised up an entire army of souls to poles men who are unafraid of darkness. Men called by God to awaken the planets. I've been waiting for this for 12 years. For there to be more than just one. And the last five years it's been happening at numbers that are staggering. You're watching it happen. I mean, Jon Jones just wins a heavyweight title again, defends the championship. What's the first thing he says in the octagon afterwards? Christ, dude, these are people who never talk about this. Dark men who found the light and have now found the calling. So like when I. When I hear you, I hear beyond all of it. I've been hearing it beyond all of it. And it's fun to know that God reached out to you with me and others without even knowing and said, said, hey, can we be done with this piece? Yeah, can we do the thing you're called to do? And that you did the same thing in timing, which is the same she did the wake up. Behind the wake up warrior is this woman. She's the one. You're the one. Like, in that power that comes for you as a woman. This is incredible. And to men like us, we can go in the carnage of the battlefield all day long. We can take all the heat when we walk into the house and we're with you, he's with you. That is the peace beyond the war that we're searching for. So it's a. It's crime to see how many couples sit in such war zones, outside war zones, inside.

Right.

And then profess Christ, like, how are you going to become one flesh? Like, this one flesh thing has been the first thing for us this year, really, which is what I feel with you guys. But you can't get to the this soul level thing without the commitment.

That's true.

To go. When you see the vision of what you guys are trying to build, there's always a thing. I have my vision. I'll show you when we're done. Paint it on the wall out there. It's going to stay here, unfortunately, because I can't take the wall.

Cut it out.

Exactly.

I a tattooed on my body and paint on my wall. What. What is the thing you. What are you really trying to do? Jacqueline, if you look at what Elliot army and everything you guys have built and the impact you're making as a couple, what's the thing beyond the thing? Ask the cardones this. Ask everybody this. Everybody has their thing that they see or a vision they have. The punting the plan or doing something. What is it? What is it for you?

Well, it's impact. I mean, obviously when you, you know, when you first start working at anything, like you're. You're trying to make money, you're trying to figure stuff out, and then it goes into purpose in what you do. I mean, we have people come together to us and we started a sales training company. We started teaching people how to make money. That's how we started. You know, we wanted to teach people how to make money, how to get good at overcoming objections and all of these different things. And then we've transitioned into something that's completely different, that we're passionate about. We're passionate about people having good marriages and being people that the people that God designed them to be. Honestly, I talk to my kids that way all the time. My job as a mom is to make you the man or the woman that God designed you to be. You're going to have to be an incredible human. You're going to have to make sure that you're a badass in every area of life, that you're fulfilled in every single way. So we're constantly pushing ourselves to new levels. So it's really like setting up a. A goal and be like, how many people are we going to impact this year in 2025 and then 2026 and how long is it going to take us to reach the world we're already talking about. About going to. To the Middle east and to Europe and all these different places to spread the word and not just necessarily make people make more money. That's going to happen naturally. It's going to be about them becoming better humans all together, being around people that actually believe in themselves, which is what we see. We people. We see people, like, they go and lose, you know, 200 pounds, and they're like, hey, you changed my life. That. And it's just like, we don't have enough time. We have this sense of urgency that, like, we're constantly in the state of, like, stress that we carry. That's a healthy stress. I'd like to think that we're like, hey, we need to talk to more people. We need to reach more people, and that's what it is for us. You know, even Tai Lopez was talking about, like, hey, what. What moves you? And he did that test. I don't know if he ever did it on you. And it wasn't the material stuff for us. It was that impact. So when you talk about what is it that you want to do? We want to help more people reach. Reach their true potential. Honestly, like, when it comes to setting goals for what we want, you know, you're saying, hey, how much money want to make? Well, to us, one of our big goals in 2024 was that every single one of our coaches that work for us gets a new house, and we achieve that, you know, so it's like, we want everybody to grow, not just us financially or anything. We want everybody to do very, very well. And. And I think that's what it is. So setting numbers is something that. That we're working on right now for 2025 and how much impact we're going to make. So we just got to work our asses off because that's how we feel. Find. We find our fulfillment is by. By doing that.

So it's crazy. It's crazy. Like, every, like, major couple that we've been talking to, it's. It's about that. It's about impact and reach. And I feel like there's such a divide in the world right now that we're like, hey, we're either gonna go or we're gonna like, be stuck here. And so I think it's so cool what you just said, how it's like, I want people to become their best versions of themselves because that's what we're supposed to be doing on this earth. Like, we are so capable of so much more than we give ourselves credit. And so many people fall in line and they're the sheep and they just do it the way they're told told. And it's like, hey, it doesn't have to be that way. So when you're the leader and you impact people and it's all about reach, the whole planet elevates all these. It's cool for me to like, hear all these big entrepreneurs that we all are after the same goal. We're like, let's go. Like, let's. Let's go. We're on a mission. We know why we're here. We're here to all wake people up.

So when you're. You're alone, she's not there. No teams there, no camp camera, no one. Just you. What's the thing that drives the game for you?

I think madness.

Yep.

I mean, I. True. I mean, I truly think it's like madness. I think it's like, I think I just. I'm still pissed about 39 years being wasted. I believed a lie my whole life. I was sold a lie. I. I sold myself a lie that I could only do this, I could only become that. I could only get this. And you know, now that I'm finding out that that was a lie, I'm just pissed off. I'm just stirred off. I mean, I say this non jokingly. I'm stirred up inside so much. And, you know, I think that everything, like, I had to go through all that. And I think, you know, being a Christian is also a choice, you know, Know again, Jackie, very direct. You know, you're fat. We've learned to live without you. You're comfortable. All those were just little choices where I could have went and been a victim. I could have. I could have. I could have. We could have Got a divorce. I could have said, you know what? You know, like, my mom left when I was young. Everybody said I wanted gonna make it. I fucking giving you everything, and then you're gonna give me this shit. I could have went the exact opposite way, way. But again, perspective. I think when I'm alone, I just pray that I can keep this. These eyes, because my old eyes were horrible. And, dude, I see humans. And I also learned this. When no one's with me, my mind is not my friend. It's not my friend. It's not my fucking buddy, okay? My mind is a horrible, horrible person. It literally tries to tell me what I can't do, what I'm not capable of. I'm naturally, naturally an insecure person. And that is not really. I say, that is not who I am. But at the end of the day, I have to keep studying. I have to keep educating. I have to keep learning from other men. I am like, if I see someone ask Jackie, I can watch someone, even if they have a country Alabama accent and I don't have one. And if I watch their video and then I watch it again or if I train in front of them, I can literally really start to sound just like them with their accent and everything. I'm like a chameleon.

It's really scary.

And that's why, like, you know, like, when I saw, you know, Garrett with Wake Up, I was like, oh. I'm like, that's what I'm gonna look like. Like, that's how we're gonna roll. We're gonna be in all black. I've never been in the military. Everybody's asked, are you in the military? You probably get asked all them, are you the military? No, I'm not in the military. But you know what? I want to. It's. It's a compliment. I want to be disciplined. Like, we are the Navy seal. We're the black ops or the Delta Force. We're the Green Berets. We're the fucking best of the best. We are the elite of the elite. And I went my whole life not being elite, and I'm just. I hate that guy. I hate him. And so I know. I know that if I can just get good enough, if I can just raise my standard enough, if I can be a good enough speaker to get my delivery across to people, to get into their hearts, man, they can change their. They can break their whole bloodlines. I mean, we broke our bloodline, and I didn't break it till I was 39, you know, and so Anyway, so, like, when you say, what do I think about? Just I'm fucking. And just madness. I want them to bury me in the. I say I want her to bury me with a fucking six pack. I want her to bury me in good shape. I tell her if I'm not in good shape, I want her to fucking put a pillow over my head. I'm not even joking. I want to go out with the bang. And I don't care about living 100 years. Years. People are like, you know, like, some are like, I'm going to live to be a hundred. I'm like, dude, if I can get three more fucking good years and I go hard and I can change a lot of people's lives and I can really show my wife and my children and my team what fucking winning looks like and being a good person. If I can do that, I'm good. I'm not trying. I don't need 30 more years. Now if I get 30, and he'll let me stay this crazy. Holy crap. What a gift. But, dude, it's just. And I'll say this, it is a gift. Gift to spend time working on you. And this world is so busy and there's so many distractions and people are just aren't giving themselves that gift. And thank God I did because I almost didn't do this. And I'll say this too, because when you change as a man, I made her. And like. And I begged her. I said, the car business got me to where I was okay. Like, that was my work all my life. Life. When I got out of the car business at 39, I knew I was not the man that anyone wanted to fucking be around. No one, you guys wouldn't invited me into your home. There's no way. I hated that guy. And I asked Jackie, I said, don't ever let me go back in the car business again. You know what I knew? I knew as I started to change and I became a better man, I knew they were going to fucking try to buy me. I knew that at some point I was going to try to sell out. I fucking knew even though I was training, I was getting better. The better I got, the more fit I got, the better in shape I got, the better speaker I got. I fucking was killing off the old me. I was starting to build this new deal, dropping content. Everybody was fucking laughing. It's like now these companies were calling me. They're like, hey, we want you to come run our stores. You can do this, by the way. We're gonna Give you part ownership. We're gonna pay you more money. I was gonna get paid three times more than ever. I'd go to Jackie. They're gonna give us equity. They're giving us this or any of us that. And she said, no. She goes, you made me make a profit promise. And you told me that I need to keep this promise to never let you go back in the car business.

We were sleeping on mattresses back then, by the way.

And I would come to her, and I said, babe, if we start now.

Say you're gonna sell out.

Yeah.

Yes. If we start now with this thing. This is everything we've waited on. And she was like, no, you made me make a promise, so I'm not breaking it. And, dude, I would be like, babe, we waited our whole life for this. And this is the first year of, like, transformation. 39 to 40 to 41 1. And then I finally realized, man, dude, I labeled myself as a car salesman. I labeled myself as this. I label myself. And I was like, I am again. My mind is not my friend. And so anybody watching this, you have to reprogram your mind every morning, every day. And that's why you have to be. You have to. You have to have a coach. You have to be around good people. You have to. You have to pay to have the best around you. And I promise you, what it is costing you not to become your best self is a. It's. It's millions of dollars, but it's a trash life. You know, dying with regrets.

Isn't it wild? I think that just the tug created the transformation, meaning one decision to pivot and the life that opens up. Yeah. And that's what I'd be a hard time. When you see individuals who have gotten to a place like we've gotten to, and then you go again and. Or take risks or go again. And why. Why are you. Why you. Why are you going. You have everything, and you're like, oh, no, no. Now we know that there's a version of us over there or at this next place that is going to look at this version of us and go, oh, you guys were cute.

Yeah.

You thought you knew what you were doing.

Too, with growth. I always say, I'm like, it's one for me that helps me is. And I could be selfish to stop. You know, I'm like, who. Who I'm meant to become is who I'm going to impact. So when I get in a funk in my head, as you were saying, I'm like, wait, I can't stop. Because that's being selfish. So although it's, like, scary, and I'm like, oh, pack up the house. We're going to Miami. I'm like, like, everything in my soul is like, we gotta go. Like, that's why we're here. So it's. It's. It's challenging and it's scary, but it's like, who are you not impacting by becoming the best version of yourself?

Yeah.

Jackie always says the biggest. You know, the choke hold of every company is the. Is the leaders. And she's like, a lot of people, they won't take the risks now that they did in the beginning.

Right.

That got that big boat.

Yeah. And they have too much to lose. Yeah.

Too much to lose. And we were just talking about that. We were just like, it's time for us to make bold moves again.

Yeah.

You know, because that's what makes me and her keep recreating. And by the way, if you love your team, if you love your. Your followers, if you love the people that believe in you, they need to see that in you again because they need new hope.

And you're as. You're asking them to take risks. I mean, you have to show them by, you know, by example that you're willing to take some risk sometimes. Your kids. I mean, you're going to bond so much more with your kids just by going to a new place. It's unbelievable.

Yeah. So this. This process with you two has been amazing.

Thank you.

And I love it because we. We landed the plane and got energy.

Energy.

And that's. That's the place that we get to every time. It's when I know it's like, we're good. And this. What you two are doing and the impact you're making. You don't need to hear from me, but well done.

Thank you. Thank you.

And Andy, the pressure to be on the front line doing what you're doing, I've been doing it for 12 years, and it is a. It is a game that never ends.

Yeah.

And what you've done and what you're creating, what you two have created as a couple is inspiring. Inspires my in. I told you, you've got. We had tons of our guy. I got guys in your masterminds right now that used to be with me that I love dearly for years. And they're getting more, and they're learning more, and they're getting difference, and it's beautiful because the end of this, God's plan is the same. It doesn't Matter what messenger or vessel this game comes through, it's. Are we representing? But the most beautiful thing that we and you two and the couples we bring on here representing is a new era of couples unified.

Right.

One flesh with God leading.

That's true.

What is the best place for somebody to start with you two? Is it go follow me on social media? Is it to go to an entry program with you guys? Like, where's. Where's the best spot if somebody's listening to the show? We've got tons of couples listening to the show. We got a lot of people in the show who I'm. They love to listen to me, but I'm not their guy. And I've told them this. I was like, hey, bounce off me. I don't give a. Bounce off me and go. And I guarantee there's gonna be couples and individuals here listening to the show. They're like, holy. They're my people. Just like Mark Jennison sending me pictures from Cabo with you guys and jumping off of yachts. I was like, hell yes. Well done, YouTube, where. Where's the best place for them to start?

So. So everybody. I just tell everybody to text me. I mean, I've just. I've used. Since I started, I put a text number out there, and that's just how I connect with everybody. So there's a text number. It's 918-210-0254.

Say one more time.

918-210-0254. People just text that number and they say, hey, you know, I saw you on Garrett's podcast, and just tell me what's up, and then that's it.

Like, you'll point them in the right direction.

Yeah. Because every. Someone may say something totally different, you know?

Yeah.

You'll never know. But we. And you guys, I know you do stuff like this too. This is huge. Me and Jackie, when I. And we've landed this. But when I brought her out, our whole business, like 20x.

Yeah.

I. I just think that, you know, us as men are women. Women are badasses big time. And when I talk to people that just don't think women are badasses, I just don't understand. And I'm like, oh, well, then you're stopped being a very good leader. Because if you're a good leader, your wife would be a savage. You're not. You're not. It's my job to motivate my fitness family. You know, imagine her coming home saying, yeah, this guy really motivated me today, you know, hey, that's cool. But, like, that's my job. That's my job.

Okay?

Like, that's. That. That's my job to do that for my kids and bring special energy to my home. And so I'm telling all the men today that that is your job to motivate your wife. Okay. If she's not where she's at. Okay, cool. Well, I remember one time, and I, I. Because I don't want to get off here, but you're good guy. Jackie watched me having a sales meeting with my team.

Team, yeah.

And I was like, bam. Wow. You know, get them all fired up, throwing cash in there. Everybody's all fired up. We're gonna have the biggest day ever. And I remember Jackie, when I walked over to her, I'm thinking, you know, she's gonna be like, oh, you're the man. You know, that's internally. That's what I expected. And she goes, she goes, I wish I could get some of that.

I've gotten that speech many times.

She's right. She's right, dude.

Let's do it.

All right.

The reason why she married me, why she didn't sleep with any other men, why she decided not to go out party anymore, why she decided to come with me is because I was going to give her the right of a lifetime, not become a freaking loser. And so. And making money is not enough. It has to be the total overall all thing. And so anyways, I know some people will never understand it, but to me, when she said, I wish I could get some of that, I used to kind of resent that. Like, she's being, like, smirky with me. And then I realized, dude, if another man was giving her that energy, I would hate it. And so. So what? Do I want her to have it or not have it? Absolutely. And by the way, you know what I learned? And Jackie would say this too, because I didn't say it earlier, but when we would fight, you know, like, if somebody walked by and called her a. Yeah, it'd be over. If somebody hurt her, over.

You'd kill them.

What if you're the one hurting?

I know.

It's a double standard.

Yeah.

And. And big time double standard.

I just know this, that I was hurting Jackie for a long time, just being a piece of shit, and I'm just not going to do it anymore. And so. And by the way, just like, I made that one choice, and then, you know, I saw your video. I said, what I want. I said, watch this.

And then.

And I studied the hell and I watch all these things. I'm like, okay. It's like, dude, that's who I want to be and that's what I wanted for our family. And the same thing that you guys have built in your family, you know, we just, we followed you guys, okay? So that same thing could happen for anyone out here watching this. It doesn't matter what position they're in. As a matter of fact, the more, the bigger your mess, the bigger your message.

Isn't it wild to think that right now listening to this show are the next us?

Oh, yeah.

Right now, listening, somebody's sitting in a car watching her kids soccer practice, drunk on a Saturday night, crying, listening, laughing. And they're the next ones. They're the ones called. And it's so wild for me to see the wake of impact the guide uses from even just simple shows like this, where it's the one thing you said, Danielle or Jacqueline, the one thing you said or Andy said, that is the moment. It's that 39 year old moment. I'm fucking done.

That's what we do it for.

It's exactly what we do. It's exactly what we do. That's why you keep doing all these podcasts. You guys make money on it. I was like, no, we should have a great time. I'm sure we make money somehow.

They're like, you guys have an offer in there? We're like, no, we should really like doing it.

That's good.

Jack, final thoughts for today from you. What do you, what do you, what do you feel in the world needs to hear from you?

Well, I think a lot of people, you know, are probably stuck because they just haven't learned to like, forgive themselves or they don't believe in themselves because it's just, you know, they don't feel like they're qualified to have a good life, you know, and it's just one of those things where it's like Andy's message and you know, our, all of our messages have been like, hey, it's never too late. And the first thing you have to do when you make a change is you have to forgive yourself. And you have to understand that, hey, the least qualified people are the ones that do the most. And we're a true testament to that. Like we, we didn't have. I mean, failure was in my DNA, failure was in Andy's DNA. So we had to rebuild and re remake our DNA and be bloodline breakers. So if you don't have things, if you're not, if you feel like you're not qualified. You're the most qualified qualified to get what you're looking for. And these kind of shows like thank you for doing this because people need to find that hope and they need to see that. So I think that you guys are a great example for what success looks like. And being real is just so amazing. So thank you guys for doing this.

You are welcome. I'd love to have any Andy final thoughts from you.

Amazing.

There we go.

You don't want to get me talking again. We got to go to Miami next week. Listen, but I'm telling you, the seven day conversation with you was better than I ever imagined it would be.

Right?

Yeah.

Compliment. Because I really highly looked up to you guys and so having this conversation just is amazing.

Well, I, I have watched from a distance and glad that we got to meet because I truly I'm inspired. God is doing such amazing things and in the world of man and getting to the man men, I mean every time I try to get pivot to the women, it's interesting because the. The pivot to the women in Warrior has never worked. It's. It's never been. Nicole. Because activation of man transforms family faster in our world because the men are the that are asleep and many of the women don't have the courage like you two did to say something. And it takes these men hearing it. And oftentimes the women listening to shows say, okay, maybe it's time for me me to go.

Good.

All right. You want to close it down?

Sure.

Go for it.

Okay, you guys, if you are listening to the show, we just ask that you share it. If it's something you're inspired by, share with your friends, share it with your family because that's why we do this show. This is our way of paying it forward to really level up this world. So thank you guys for tuning in to the Date youe Right podcast. Thank you to our guests for being here. We're headed to Miami. This is our final show of the day youy Podcast here in Orange County. And thanks for joining and thanks for watching. We'll see you every single week with a new episode of the Day youy Write Podcast.