CHANGE your LIFE within 90 MINUTES // Nicole Anyadike's REAL Story // The Jacqueline Elliott Show

Once I think I made, like, my first six figures. And I didn't realize I'd made that much money until I went to do my taxes. I was like, wait, let me count again. What? And I called my dad.

I was like.

And I'm like, daddy's little girl. Daddy doesn't even know I've kissed a boy kind of thing. And five in the morning, somebody's knocking at the door. I'm like, what the heck is this? So I open the door and my dad's there. And I'm like, sh T. Oh, my God. My dad's not that much taller than me. So I was like, this little man in the shadow. My dad's like, your mother tells me you're pregnant. Ah. You're having sex. I was like, please, like, let's go get the abortion. I'm like, no.

Okay. So welcome to another episode of the Jacqueline Elliott Show. Today we have Nicole here, a very special guest. Now, I met Nicole at a Patrick Bet David event, the Volt particularly, and we had a very, very good conversation. I learned a lot about Nicole. Now, Nicole is a very, very strong woman. She's very determined. She had a very rough life, but also a very privileged life as a child. So it's an. It's an up and down situation. So she made a lot of hard choices as a child, as a teenager, and then grew up to be an incredible, incredible woman. Has four children and an incredible, incredible business. So, yes. Welcome to the show.

Thank you. Thank you, Jackie. Thank you for having me. I am honored.

No, thank you for being here. Not only is she beautiful, young, and has a beautiful smile, she's a beautiful person.

Thank you.

Inside as well.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much.

So, Nicole, tell me a little bit. I know that you have four kids, Right. And you said that your dad was an immigrant. Yes. And a very religious one. Yes, at that. Yes. And you got pregnant at 16, right?

Yeah.

So you're one out of six children.

Yes.

Okay, tell me a little bit about your childhood. How did that go? Your mom's from Baltimore. Yes, Baltimore. Your dad is from Nigeria. Yes, they met. How was your childhood?

Yes. So my parents met in the DMV area, and my mother was previously married and she met my father with five kids, and he took her in and they became a couple and got married and moved from the DMV area to Florida. I was born in Pensacola and spent a couple years there until we moved to South Florida. My childhood, I would say, was very privileged. We didn't have a Lot in the beginning, growing up. But what I learned early on is how you can take a little and make a lot of. And that was really practiced through gratitude. My mom always took us to church and she was just like really big on us, just building our character. And her being a former Marine at that very moment.

Yes, okay. Yes.

My mom was a marine and my father being from Nigeria, you know, everything was. We just got to work with what we have. Right. And I would say that probably about 2008, when was when things started to really manifest and we were able to see. I'm sorry, not 2008, 2003 was when we were able to really see the manifestations of my parents hard work. My father and my mother came together, they each had their businesses and they come together to help each other out. I didn't know this until I was about 25, but my parents were millionaires. I was like, oh, no wonder why the fridge was always full. You know, had a new car, like everything was good. We had a nice house.

So that was normal to you?

Yeah, it was normal. All of my, all of my, my friends, you know, it was a two parent household. So I didn't know what it was like to be a single parent. Like, that just wasn't my reality. If I, if. Even if the dad wasn't in the house, I'm like, oh, he's at work.

Yeah.

You know, when I say about like 2008, you know, it was when the recession came about and then we had a hurricane in Florida and just things just went to.

Okay.

It just went to shit, 100%. You know, my parents lost their businesses. My parents were going through a rocky time. I didn't know that there was trouble in paradise.

Stuff from you, like the kids, like, they kept their problems.

Their problems. Right, right.

Never fought in front of you or anything like that. Really.

Here and there was like, they'll make up. Yeah. You know, my mom would give my dad a lap dance at some point, you know, and he'll be fine. You know, easy to please. Yeah, right, exactly. Yeah. So. And then when all that happened and my parents sat us down and they were like, hey, we're getting a divorce and it's just not working out. And I was like, what's that? You know, is that like a vacation or something? Like, where are you going? Like, no, like we're going to be in separate homes. And it was a lot for me to process.

Right.

And I kicked and screamed and I was, I told them, I was like, you better not.

Yeah.

And it worked for like a couple months.

Yeah, but your older, your older brothers and sisters that were from a previous marriage. So you, they were all your half brothers and sisters. Was that dad around or was he not?

Yeah, he was around. And that's, it's actually pretty interesting because we'd have holiday parties. We, we were famous for throwing parties. Everyone knew where we lived. If someone was running for commissioner, we'd invite them to the house. We do a fundraiser. We had some folks from Nigeria, like in the politics come over and it's like, I think one of the senators, I gave him like flowers or something like that. It's like an itty bitty girl, like 8 years old.

The flower thing is, is a. Yeah, you brought me flowers, which is. They're beautiful. So thank you for that.

Yes, yes, yes. So, yeah, so flowers, that's, that's a way of showing, you know, our appreciation and things of that nature. I love flowers. I love to give them to people. So, yeah, we always had parties and you know, when my parents said that, you know, they were going to divorce and things like that, we were like, wow. So my siblings didn't take it too well because that was their dad. He taught them everything. How to drive, life skills, super hard on that jumped in as dad 100%. Like, you don't find men like that anymore. Like, he's not those kind of guys. That's like, oh, I'm the prize or what does the woman bring to the table?

Those are your kids. Those aren't my kids. Your mom let him basically run the house and they say you're going to respect him 100%. A lot of women don't do that. And they're like, hey, these are my kids. Don't talk to my kids a certain way. And they don't allow the dad come in and be dad and love them really the way that he should. Because there's too many limitations where they don't trust them. So I think that happens a lot nowadays.

Yeah, there's, yeah, there's a lot of limitations. And you know, of course it wasn't always perfect because there's also a cultural difference. My father is an old school Nigerian man. He's. That's just how it is. And he's still that way till this day. And then, you know, raising children in America, certain things like, oh, wait, you want to put earrings in your ear. Oh, right. Like, whoa, we're not doing that, you know, and so there was also kind of like that power struggle, you know, and, and that those Things, you know, it happens in. In families and households. But as far as, you know, my mother's ex, we had parties, and he'd come over and spend the night with us, like, you know, yeah, stay with us. Yeah, stay with us in the house. And I used to call him Uncle Daddy. Uncle Daddy.

Innocence.

The innocence. Uncle Daddy.

I love that.

That's great. That's great.

Well, it takes very, you know, a very confident, confident man, your dad, to be able to welcome an ex, you know, and be able to have them, you know, spend the night at your house and stuff. That's good. They had a good relationship.

Yes.

Now. Now gone. So you were. You were the privileged kid. You had a good life. You had all that. And then high school came around.

Yeah.

What happened in high school?

Well, in high school, I had dreams and aspirations of really utilizing my education to bring me places, because that's all. All I knew was either education. I didn't think that I had the balls of what my parents did to start a business. I didn't know what they did to even start Right. And in high school, I was like, I want to be a fashion designer, go to New York, do all the nice things, whatever. And at the time, I was with my sister, and, you know, my parents had separated, and my mom was in another country. My dad was about 200 miles north of where we were. So my sister was also a mother. She had two small children and. And I adore children, and I helped her raise her kids. And I was, you know, the auntie. The auntie mom, right on duty and became a little excessive, you know, Like, I was. It was a constant, constant, constant thing to the point where I think I kind of lost my identity and trying to find myself, like, certain activities that I wanted to do for a various reason of things.

Because you were so consumed with watching kids and being the. Being the auntie Mommy.

Yeah.

You lost. You lost that.

Yeah, yeah. And not only that. Where we lived at the time, we lived in a very prominent, you know, upscale, rich neighborhood. But I felt like the poorest kid on the block because I wasn't as privileged at the time, you know, with other parents where there was, like two parent households and, you know, there's money's disposable. We had to be very conservative with our money.

We had to basically start over in that.

Correct. And I admire my mother and my father for wanting to change our environment to give me the chance at having a good education and what came with that, which actually inspired me to do what I'm doing now when we had dance programs or track and field, because one thing I asked my friend's mom, she at this time, she was so real, she said I hadn't had sex in 10 years. And we were like, whoa, like, but you got like three kids like you popping that thing, you know, like, what are you doing to like keep your legs close? She's like, just keep yourself busy. And I'm like, well, my parents always instilled in me to like, save your virginity till marriage. So if I can like get in track or like do something like that and just stay busy because all my other friends are having sex and doing drugs and things like that, maybe I would have a good chance at life. And then school's like, oh, it's gonna cost money to do this. We need about 1500 for that $1000. I'm like, I don't have that freaking kind of money. Like, I wouldn't dare, I wouldn't dare put that stress on my parents. So stayed home, figured it out. And throughout time I just became consumed with just wanting to do other things. School was really hard, like math was really, really hard. And that weighed on my confidence. I went to public school. So a teacher that I had didn't have as much patience to teach a slow kid like me, you know, how to count. And it was first period and I was already kind of like in my head about my self worth that I just eventually started skipping school. I was like, well, shit, I'm gonna fail anyways. You know, I don't come on time anyways, so might as well just not come and through that, you know, started hanging out. Met a guy a lot older than me, you know, he presented himself as a way that a father would. In a weird way, looking at it now, but, you know, got pregnant. You got pregnant at 16, you got pregnant? 15.

Oh, at 15, yeah.

And had the baby at 16.

So tell me about what happened when you got pregnant and you had to like share the news with your family or what happened? Like, did you try to hide it for a while? What happened?

My family's freaking gangster, 100%. Because one thing about us, in our family, we have this gift where we dream about stuff. Like it's just amongst the women, we just dream about something and it just.

It'S that good intuition, you know, like when your friends are like, they're like, I'm pregnant. Like I knew you were pregnant or you're telling them like before they even know it, right?

100%. So I knew I was pregnant when I went to go visit my mom for the Christmas break, and I just had to keep using the restroom like nobody's business. I was like, I went on Google. What does this mean? Maybe I have a uti. I don't know, you know? And then my mom. I leave, and I go back home to my sisters, and my mom goes, hey, I brought Nikki some pads. She didn't use them. Did she use pads at the house? And I think that was my mother's biggest fear of me getting pregnant. So in a weird way, it actually kind of, like, happened, like, getting pregnant.

Did you know how many pads were used and not used?

Yeah, she brought me a whole pack, and I never opened it. And I was there for, like, close to a month, kind of. Because, like, winter break was, like, two, three weeks. And she was like, okay, none of the pads. And I think she was, like, also tracking my period as well.

Okay, that's interesting. Way. I would never think about being like, hey, I'm gonna leave my daughter some pads and see if she opens them and uses them to see if she's right.

But I feel subconsciously, she probably sensed that that was her fear that. Because she's not there. What if it happens? Whatever. But we never had that conversation. I'm just assuming, right? And then my sister goes, mm, mm. She hasn't used any pads either. So then I remember that day. Cause I always had friends that were older than me, like over 18, over 21, just in case if I needed to do something I had no business doing, they could just sign off on it or. And that day I was like, I'm just gonna get an abortion. Nobody will know about it. And I skipped school to get the abortion or to a plan to get the abortion. And something happened. I don't know. I think I forgot. I fell asleep or something. And one of my friends.

You were pregnant and tired.

Yeah, she's pregnant and tired and forgetful. Right. But I was. I was super scared. I think it was the fear of my parents finding out, because I was like, they're going to kill me. Like, I'm gonna be done. Like, it's gonna be so bad. And then I was like, I'll get another day. So I was sleeping, and my sister at the time was going to school for criminal justice, right? So she used her investigative tactics on me. And she goes, hey, Nikki, can I use your computer? And I'm like, yeah, sure. I'm like, what the fuck? She wants to use my computer. She has her own computer. And then she goes, on my History and everything is there. And my sister is a lesbian, right? So I'm going to tell you why I told you she's lesbian. So she wakes me up, she goes, hey, I. I want you to pee on this stick. And I'm going to pee on this stick, too, because I know I'm not pregnant. And we're going to compare results. And I was like, oh, God, I'm doomed. And she says, well, congratulations, Nikki. You're going to be a mother. Do you know who the father is? I'm like, well, duh. I've only been sleeping with one guy. She's like, well, better call him up. So news traveled from here to Africa within the speed of light. Everybody knew. And everybody comes to the house. My brothers, and they're all stressed out, and they're like, yeah, call the guy over here. And they're playing it cool. I'm thinking, we're going to have a Kumbaya moment.

Yeah.

My daughter's father comes over. My brother's like, meet me outside. I want to fucking fight. And he's. Yeah, he's snatching his clothes off. He's like, let's go. You owe me around. You got my sister pregnant, man. And he's crying and he's like, why would you do this? Why would you do this? Her future, man. Her future. Your future. And who's crying? My. My older brother. Yeah. And the one that said I talk a lot, and he. He's crying. And then, you know, then my sister, she. She's. She laid hands on him. It was. It was a brawl. Yeah, it was a brawl. And then they were like, what are you gonna do? And I was like, well, since the cat's out the bag, I guess I'm gonna keep the baby. And they were like, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Like, you're not keeping this baby. We're call Ma. We're going to call Mom. Like, my mom's, like, the big boss.

Yeah.

And my mom's talking to me so calm. She's like, nikki, everything's going to be okay. What are you going to do? Okay, I'll give you a couple days to think about what you're going to do. And I'm like, okay. So I'm thinking. I'm thinking, how am I going to raise this baby? Because I'm. I already made my mind up that I'm keeping her. Right. And when I told her, she just. She lost her shit. And she thought, you're going to make.

A decision to get rid of it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And fear didn't get to me because I was already, like. I just had this gut feeling that everything was gonna be okay. I just had a gut feeling everything was gonna be okay.

Well, you were trying to hide it at first.

Yeah.

Like, I'm gonna get rid of it, and I'm not. Nobody's gonna know right now. Since everybody knew.

Yeah.

Like, hey, everything's gonna be all right. Like, my family's crazy.

Yeah.

And it's totally cool.

Yeah.

My. The boys already fought.

Yeah.

Like, they're gonna have to put up with it.

Right.

And I. And I kind of like the idea now.

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

That's it. And it was very uncomfortable, but I was okay with being uncomfortable, because, again, like, when you just have this conviction over your body, like, you don't know what tomorrow's gonna bring, but you just have this peace about it that everything's gonna be okay. And that was it. And so I thought at the time that my family was gonna, like, support me, and we're gonna be one big happy family. And like, oh, look at the belly. Oh, let's go shopping.

And.

And then, like, a week came in, and then my dad came, and I'm like, daddy's little girl. Like, daddy doesn't even know I've kissed a boy kind of thing. And it's like five in the morning. Somebody's knocking at the door. I'm like, what the heck is this? So I open the door, and my dad's there. And I'm like, oh, my God. I just see a shadow. My dad's not that much taller than.

Me.

So it's like this little man in the shadow. And my dad's like, choma. That's my African name. Chioma means good spirit. Like, choma. Your mother tells me you're pregnant. Ah, you're having sex. I was like. He's like, okay. And he's trying to keep his composure. And we just had a standoff for about four hours. And he's like, I haven't slept all night. I drove here. Please, like, let's go get the abortion. I'm like, no, no. I'm like, but, Daddy, what if this baby could be Oprah Winfrey? Yeah. You know, it's a good way to think about it. Yeah. What if this baby could be the next president of the United States of America? Yeah. And I have tears in my eyes, and I'm outside, and I'm just, like, crying. I don't give a damn who's watching me. And my dad's like, well, you know, come on, let's go. And I said, nope. I know my rights. And my dad's an immigrant. I told you, when it comes to police and immigrants, we don't want no parts of it. Like, no. No police, no medical, no law, nothing. Just. Just lay low. My dad was like, you know what? You said, enough. I'm out. Don't call me. I'm out. Don't call me.

Completely walked out of your life.

Washed his hands. Like, I'd never even seen that happen before. Not even in movies. Like, people do stuff like that to people. Like, the abandonment. And I was like, how? Like, this is the same guy that used to paint my toenails and dress me up as a princess and sing to me and massage my feet until I fall asleep and, like, give me all the money in his wallet. Like, that guy. Him? No, he's just upset. I'll give him, like, two weeks. So I called him and. Oh, well, before I get to that. So that same day, my mom was pissed, and she was like, well, if you don't want to get the abortion, you got to get out of my house. Yeah. She said, pack all your shit and get out. And the level of rejection and abandonment that I felt, it felt like both of my parents died at the same time. And I watched it happen. And a part of me was also really pissed off at the same time because I felt, like, betrayed in a way, but I was also really hurt. But, you know, my sister's husband at the time was like, you know, listen, I was raised in the hood. You know, you don't have a high school GED or diploma. You know, chances of you becoming a prostitute is very high.

Wow.

And I've seen women do it. And that's the route that you're about to take. He told you that?

Yeah.

And I was too hurt to, like, like, cuss him out.

Yeah.

Which I have done at some point as a teenager. Spicy me. Lord, forgive me. I've said some things. We've had some exchange of words before, and I was too hurt to reply to that. And I just. I put it in my soul. Like, I don't think I ever had that. That moment again where I put something. I buried it in my soul. And I just remember myself saying, subconsciously, you watch me. I'm gonna outshine you. You watch me.

Woke up a freaking lion inside.

100%.

It's crazy because you think about, you know, turning points and people and successful people at that.

Yeah.

There's always little voices in their heads that they have to constantly remind you were at the Patrick David again. You know, he wrote that book, you know.

Yeah.

Choose your enemies. Why is he like, he constantly has this enemy and he's constantly upgrading enemies or channel in his life. When he reaches new levels, he's like, dude, I need to find a new one. And find it's a healthy way to keep you chasing and going. I mean, you look at a lot of people that are successful. David Goggins. What does he do? Torture my haters with success. Success. All these different things, all these affirmations. But they have. I mean, they're. They're moved by madness. That's motivation. That's what he talks about all the time. Right. So that voice, you look at it and you probably hated him. And probably. I don't know if you still do or not, but you hated him at the time for hurting you.

Yeah.

But maybe it was the biggest blessing for you to turn out to be something big later on, who knows?

I needed that. I grew up on tough love. Like, as nurturing as my dad is and was to me. My mom was also like that sounding board because she's got that Marine in her and that. That ain't going anywhere. And as I became an adult, you know, later down the line, my father and I reconnected when I turned 19 and I started my business at the time and I wanted to just show to him, like, hey, I'm not who you thought I would be, you know, And I felt like I owed that to him in a way because he's just. He really had high expectations of me and I felt like I failed him in a way, but I also felt better that I didn't fail myself and that I was able to do something for. For me and my daughter.

Did you resent him? I did for a long, long time. Yeah. Do you still do? A little bit, yeah. Yeah, yeah. What about your daughter? I mean, have you shared this story? I'm assuming that your daughter knows because she's at that age now. Like, how old does she know?

She's 13.

She's 13. I mean, old enough to understand these kind of things, obviously, right?

Yeah.

I mean, you got pregnant two years older than her. Just thinking crazy, right? Like, you see your little girl and you're like, ah. Like, they don't think this way. We always think that our kids don't understand.

Yeah.

But they understand more than we think.

Oh, yeah.

So does she know or do you speak openly about this or. No, not really.

For a long time I didn't because I didn't trust my mouth, you know what I mean? Like, especially around her. I didn't want to, like, adulterate her thinking and her subconscious. And I wanted to give her an opportunity to just kind of grow and be a kid, you know, and just, just think everything was okay because I was hurting. I built my business out of pain. Literally. It was out of pain and it was out of survival. Right. But she didn't know that because I was always at the PTA meetings, I was at the, you know, events, and we were always together and everything was good. But deep down inside, you know, I'm like, dang, like I'm freaking bleeding right now. I need to. And then I got myself into therapy and I got a really good therapist. It was like my first therapist.

Good. You got lucky.

Yeah.

There's a lot of good ones, there's a lot of bad ones.

Right. And we're still friends till this day. Yeah. And I was able to become real with him. Like I just. Everything was confidential and that awareness, but not only therapy, also just self discovery because there's a programming that has to happen in our subconscious mind that plays out in our reality. And it takes a very mature and determined individual to like, face their demons.

And you said it right, right there. It takes a very mature person to do that. Because a lot of people, a lot of people go to these therapies and then they find out things about themselves or past traumas or things and they're like, hey, you know what? I'm this way because my parents were this way. Or I have this trauma when I was a child and I really know how to deal with it. And they relive this.

Yeah.

If they don't know how to process and come up with the game plan with the right therapist that shows them what to do with that information, then they're all over the place, honestly. So it's so important that if you do go to therapy to get a good one and go through something that's after you discover you have to do something with that and find that self worth and be determined and know how to overcome that.

Yeah. And for a while, I had to hide behind my business for my own healing and my own protection. Because I realized early on that I was all I had.

Like, tell me about your business.

Yeah. So my business, Kidology Enterprises, it's an educational, enrichment and support services. So we're multifaceted. So we have our homeschool education department. Right. We have our curriculums, which schools will call us and we'll provide Curriculum and training for them as well. And then we have our after school programs. So, like enrichments. Martial arts, dance, foreign language, life skills, those things. Yeah.

So what motivated you to start that? Or how did. How did you, you know, get introduced to it?

Yeah, it's a coincidence. It's like all the great things that happen in my life, it kind of happens by accident. Happens by accident. So at the time, I was in school to be a nurse, you know, it was just job security, whatever, you know, to make my parents happy that I'm a nurse. Whoopi and I always surrounded myself by entrepreneurs. Like, I've had friends that had businesses, and I always just, you know, we just. Birds of a feather flock together, right? And I had a friend of mine, she contacted me. She's like, hey, why don't we just do, like, a mobile dance studio or something? I'm like, what is that? And I said, well, I don't know anything about, like, teaching kids or whatever, because I'm like, still trying to learn my own kid, you know, But I can tell you how to get the client, because in my job, we did, like, a lot of sales and things of that nature. So I would read books like, you know, how to. How to be a rainmaker, how to get and keep clients, you know, and these are actually books that were in my mother's storage.

Really.

So I'd go snooping through her stuff.

That's good. You were interested.

Yeah, that's just really interested. And I told her how to do it. Speak with confidence. You got to research the person. Ask for this person. Don't. Can I speak with them? Is she there? You know, boldly go in there, call, follow up. Yes. You know, and then she goes, can we be business partners? I'm like, girl, I'm in school, I work overnight, and I sleep in my car in between classes. And I'm like, I don't have time for it, but I'll pray about it. And I did my prayer, and God put it in my heart to do it. Good. And I'm so glad I did, because after we got our first client, she ghosted me, right? Yeah, she ghosted me. She had something else that she was doing, and I had to start my own business. The clients called and they said, where are you guys? I'm like, what's our business? She didn't show up. I just helped the sale. And they're like, well, we still need the service. And I think that kind of did something to my ego. Like, I put myself out there and we didn't show up. And I can't get her on the phone. It's been three months.

Wow.

Like, is she dead? But then she's posting on Facebook. So I was like, okay, Savage Mode. My mom's like, go start your business. And I'm like, mom, that's another kid. I don't want any more kids. She's like, go start your business. Stop being a punk. If you need a partner, call your sister. And I was like, marine popped in.

Yeah.

I was like, oh, yeah. And then I had to think of, like, insurance and stuff like that, and I didn't have money. I was living paycheck to paycheck. I did not have. I was sincerely broke. Okay. Couldn't put gas in my car. And then I just happened to have, like, this card. It was like I wasn't even saving money at the time. I had a debit card, which was actually my child support card. That money never came in. And it just randomly. $500 just dropped in the account. I was like, that's interesting. Oh, my God, that's nice. And it was just enough for me to get my business insurance, get my llc, buy my little acrobatic mats, and maybe, like, some little stuff here and there. I made my money back the same day.

And then I started getting a taste of entrepreneurship. I love that.

Yeah.

Okay. Okay, that's great.

And then I said, okay, well, how much does a nurse make? Because if I'm going to quit nursing school, this has to really be worth it. So, like, at the time, like, entry level was like, 60, 60k a year. And I was like, perfect, perfect. So, like, how do I 10x this thing? Like, okay, I got 300 bucks a month, once a week. I have the capacity to do 10 of these schools as accounts just for myself without hiring anyone. So there we have it. And so when I did that, I reached out. I was. I was a volunteer at Women in Distress. And that helped me accelerate my healing, actually, from just all the crap that I was going through, just helping other women.

You have to help other women.

And I would. I, like, legit, would, like, use my last, like, 60 bucks to go to Walmart and buy eggs and pancake mix and all this stuff just to feed the woman and have fun with them and play with their kids. And I went back to Women in Distress, and I said, hey, I started a business. Do you guys want to be a client? Like, let's just test it out. I don't know how much to charge, but whatever you want to give me it's fine. They said, well, we don't have money, but we know someone that does. I was like, who? And they referred me to the Children's Services Council. Billion dollar organization. Like, our tax dollars is what goes, like, allotted towards programs. And I remember providing services at certain schools, and the kids can't do it because their parents can't afford it. Holy smokes. That was me at one point. I was that kid that wanted to do the dance program but didn't have the money, so I had to watch people do it. And I just throw this resentment and hatred and jealousy all because of, you know, this kid is more privileged than I or whatever the case is. And I go home feeling beat myself about it. So when I learned that they had grant money to give to me and it didn't matter if the kids paid for it or not, I was on that thing like white on rice. And in, like, the summer was a good payout. Like, it literally felt like I was, like, literally robbing the bank when I'd go and pick up my checks. Like, I went from making, like 300 bucks a month from one school and then, like, you know, doubling that, doubling that to, like, making nine grand a week. I'm like, 20 years old.

Yeah, that's good.

Whoa.

Closed mouths don't get fed.

Right.

That's for sure.

Right.

And it's crazy how a relationship after another when. And just. Just talking to people. I think a lot of people stay quiet and they don't really ask.

Yeah.

Especially when it comes to, like, business and referrals. You think, like, well, this person's not qualified. Well, these people knew somebody or a program that was.

Yeah.

And that's what open doors. And that's the thing. A lot of people, like, fail, and they don't even get anywhere because they just. I mean, it's. It's crazy, you know? Like, even people that are, like, cashiering at a. You know, at a restaurant sometimes, you know, sometimes, like, they need help, too. And it's just like, they might know somebody that might need help or they might. It always happens where you just have to just be open. And if you're proud of your business.

Yeah.

You shouldn't be wanting to help everybody. And.

Yeah.

Opportunities will flood.

I became so annoying. Like, literally everybody knew about Kidology. Kidology enterprises. Kidology Enterprises. Ms. Kidology. Yep, that's me. That's me. That's me. And that business just became like my. My second baby. And through that experience, it empowered me to see, like, whoa, this is what you Get. When you trust your gut and you follow God. Bravo. Continue.

So what happened with your relationship with your family after that?

After I started the business.

After you start your business, you know, you have your daughter now.

Yeah.

Right.

Yeah.

What happened with that?

I started to see a shift.

Okay.

I think more so in respect, like having my big girl panties on, you know, my mom had done so much for me to, like, help me get back on my feet, you know, even though she was upset and she blamed herself for it and, you know, she internalized those things. I think both my parents did. They did. And. But when they saw that I was showing up for myself, it made them want to help me even more.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And my relationship with my parents, it grew stronger. I started to appreciate my mom because, like, if this is what a woman is doing in business, this is how she had to go out there and get clients. And she didn't have one kid. She had six of us.

Yeah, six.

Six.

Yeah.

Yeah. And I have three in. Yeah.

Sometimes it feels like it's a lot. Yeah. Four.

Yeah.

She had six.

Yeah, six. Six. Six of us. And my mom traveled too, for business.

Yeah.

So, like, she'll take the girls one day. Like, we'll go, you know, like to Arizona, which, you know, we've been with her, you know, or we'll go, you know, somewhere else or whatever the case is. We always, we took turns at times, you know, especially with me because I was so young and I wasn't in school at the time, so, you know, my mom needed babysitters, and so we take turns.

So jumping into opportunities and just putting yourself out there, that has been something that you've had since you were a little kid, obviously.

Yes.

Now you have a son.

Yes.

Who's your second?

Yes.

After that you had a son.

Yes.

And when he was two years old.

Yes.

He got diagnosed with autism.

Correct.

Yeah. Okay. Now you wouldn't take that. And you were like, hey, this diagnosis, like, I. What happened during that time? You know, obviously you're in your business. You're like, hey, you know what? I'm making money.

Yeah.

All this stuff is kind of going your way. Your family is, you know, reunited, you know, they finally proud of you. You've got your daughter, then you get pregnant again, and then you have your two year old son.

Yeah.

Little boy.

Yeah.

He gets diagnosed with autism. What did you do?

This was during COVID I think during COVID everyone had to face their demons because we couldn't go anywhere. We couldn't go anywhere, you know, either that eat, make tik tok videos, whatever. But his behavior was just, like, out of control.

Okay?

And I was, like, scratching my head. I was like, God, if there's something I did previously to, like, deserve this, if this is my payback, just let me know. And I was like, something's not right. And I took him to the doctor, and the doctor's like, well, you might want to, like, get him evaluated. And got him evaluated. And this was over the computer using zoom. And the doctor at the time was like, well, based off of the questions that you answered, I'm just going to go ahead and diagnose him with autism. And he was like, really quick, like, next patient, next. And I was like, no, wait, but that. He's just two. I mean, but don't you think it could be something else? And. And I couldn't really get through to the doctor, and he was just very dismissive and could barely hear me. And finally I just hung up. It's like, whatever, I'll be back next week. Let me just get my thoughts together. And I called my best friend over, and I'm, like, bawling, and she leaves work to come over to me, and she's holding me, and I'm, like, crying in her arms. I cried for, like, five hours. And then I call my son's dad. I'm like, hey, as soon as you get home, like, as soon as you're done with work, I need you to come here. Like, we need to talk. I told him. He's like, kind of figured, but it's okay. I mean, kids, you know, it happened. It's fine. It's okay. It's. And I'm like, it's not okay. And so now we're going at it.

Yeah.

And I'm like. And then I started thinking about, like, when did this shift change? I started thinking about vaccines. And then my family's like, oh, it's conspiracy. Blah, blah, blah. It's not that. Whatever. And I'm like, well, I'm gonna get this crap reversed. And I had just came back, coincidentally, from honduras at the Dr. Sebi Village, and it's like a whole, like, natural healing. And, you know, people go there with all types of stuff. They get cancer reversed and all this stuff, right? So I called the village, and they're like, okay, we're gonna send you some supplements. And he should be okay. My son doesn't want to take the supplements. Like, ah, nasty. I don't even want to take them. You know, like, I mean, the powdered version. Come on, oh, change the food. My son's a picky eater.

Yeah.

So that was a very hard thing to deal with.

Most kids that get diagnosed with or that, you know, I mean, most kids in general are picky eaters. Imagine.

Yeah. And so I was like, dang it, we're, like, stuck with this. So one day I just got into, like, it took me many months to come to that. This place because I was very stubborn and I was always getting in my head about what it could have been or where did I go wrong and things like that. Blaming myself, you know, oh, man, maybe I shouldn't have sat in that chair. And then just, you know, stuff like little stupid things. And then I just got in this really deep, like, meditation and it just clicked. Autism is responsible. Like, it's inflammation of the brain. Any disease is inflammation. Where's autism held? It's like a neurological disorder. Like, okay, so then how do I reverse that? Then I started looking into other forms of therapies for him. And then stem cell. Oh, oh, oh, my God. We preserved the stem cells. Yes. Let's try it. And I didn't know what doctor I was going to use that I could trust. Trust is a really big thing for me. Two year old. Yeah. That I could trust.

That's tough.

So it took some time to find a doctor that was in. Was willing to do it. And then I went to the 10X Health Center. And then, you know, I kind of spoke with the ladies there and I called meetings. I'm like, Gary, you know, get his opinion on this. What can we do? And then got the injection.

And it helped.

And it helped.

It's crazy. Do you think that a lot of times, I mean, I mean, I used to work with kids with awesome, that autism and down syndrome. And I think a lot of people, like, they. And even just kids in general, like, we're always like telling it like, oh, my kids at such and such age, they should be reading by now or they should be doing this by now. Like, there's always this thing where they're being compared with other kids and like, oh my gosh, my kid's not potty trained. By the time they're freaking four years old, there's something wrong with them. Like, was like, your kid's not gonna be freaking peeing in the bed at 10, right?

Of course, of course.

But, you know, there obviously are some behaviors you were mentioning to him that.

Yeah, he would have.

Like, he would. He would kind of just go a little. He would get violent.

Yeah.

Things like that. That Obviously, he did have it and then you cured it. But I. I do think that a lot of people worry. I mean, just. Just to kind of get out there. A lot of people worry about their kids trying to be normal all the time. And sometimes their kid. Kids all grow at different environmental levels. Just think about it. When you get to be an adult.

Right.

Went to high school. Like, we don't ever check to see if we're still growing.

Yeah.

You know, academically. We stop after school.

Yeah.

And people freaking go stupid. They don't read a book ever. Kids are 4 years old and they're not reading. Everybody's freaking out.

Yeah.

And everybody's mediocre, walking around everywhere. Nobody's freaking checking those people.

Right. Yeah. You know, it was actually something that I had to come to terms with myself when I started self discovery. And I remember I brought it up to my coach, and she's like, this is just a set of beliefs.

Exactly.

And then I started reading some more books, you know, and one of the books, the Game of Life and how to Play It. It's about how our subconscious mind is. It can pretty much create reality, especially for our children. So I started reprogramming my subconscious mind, and I said, okay, well, we did the stem cell. It's fine. It's done. But what can I do on my part to show up for my kids.

Exactly.

And just let life be life.

Yeah. Behaviors are going to determine whether your son. I mean, it's all about positive negative reinforcement.

Yeah.

It's all about behaviors that. That you do.

Yeah.

Like if your son is doing something and he's, like, creating a tantrum.

Yeah.

And depending on how you handle that tantrum, he's going to either do it more.

Correct, correct. Correct. And I think that was also too, with me, because my trigger is crying. So as soon as the baby starts crying up, give bottle, bottle. Okay. I pick her up. Like, I will. I am like a sucker. I'll, like, go on my knees like, please don't cry. Please don't cry. You know, like, that's. That's literally how I am. So in. In a way. Yeah. My kids do kind of did get a little, like, spoiled, you know what I mean, from that with me. But I had to address that, you know, like, okay, my trigger's crying. I like crying. But, okay, this is their way to express themselves. And this is how you can create boundaries and, you know, use this as a learning, you know, tool. Yeah.

But you're a savage. Like, you did not take that as an answer. Like, you just went and you started doing your research.

Oh.

Like, hey, listen, I don't believe this. Like, I'm going to go and I'm going to do my research. I'm gonna find the best people. Yep. I'm gonna go in and find the best, you know, medically. Like, I'm gonna go wherever I need to go, but I'm gonna get him out of this. Now, he. You had him in school, you said, right?

Yeah, yeah.

Was he going on, like, preschool or.

Like, daycare or something?

What was it?

Yeah, the program recommended that he'd go, like, start going to, like, preschool. Because my fear was that he can't speak. So I never really sent my kids to school. School unless they can talk and tell me what happened or if I can look at the cameras 24 7, you know what I mean? I think they called it helicopter mom. That's kind of how I was.

I probably was one too, honestly.

But that changed because it was coming from a fear, a sense of fear and wanting to control everything, you know? But my fear at the time was that because of his behavior, that he wouldn't be accepted. And what if, you know, he gets.

Abused in the school and he can't tell you what's going on?

Right, exactly. And I don't want to drive myself crazy speculating, you know, and questioning teachers and stuff like that. You know, like, giving them the debts there. And, like, you know, it's like, oh, Nicole, save yourself. So I just. I had to, like, I just.

You had to what, though?

Yeah.

Put him in school. You put him in school?

Yep.

But then they started treating him differently, Right.

At school, he wasn't going on, I think, his teacher. Because I did interview the teachers, and I told this one, like, we're gonna make a deal. If I'm gonna bring you business, I gotta have the best thing. Don't just assign me to any teacher. I need to know her background. I need to interview her. I want to see her classroom. No. Well, ma', am, we don't listen. And great thing is, you know, my fifth grade teacher and I were still friends, and I called her And I said, Mrs. Cobb, I need your help. So I need you to pull some strings.

Power of connection.

She's like, yeah, I know the principal's mother, you know, and we were able to get him a good teacher.

Yeah.

Who really understood him. But the piece of, like, if she was, like, not gonna be there, I'm like, just text me and let me know in advance you're not gonna be there. And I'll keep him home. Or if he went to aftercare, you know, we really have those trained professionals to deal with him. But he would also. He was known to elope. He'll just leave, get upset, and, like, run out of the school. And I'm like, he doesn't do that with me.

Yeah.

You know, I'm like, what are you guys doing? You know? And I had to also tread carefully because these people were also my clients.

Oh, yeah.

So you know the mama bear, or do you keep your. Your contract? Mama bear comes first, 100%. And so you know what I did? The mama bear and me said, you know what? When I heard that my son was having a temper tantrum and licking the floor. I'm a germaphobe. What? My son did what? He licked the floor. And you didn't. You let him lick the floor?

We have one of our guys that still does that. I'm just kidding.

I was like, why would you let him lick the floor? I said, okay, you know what? I'm gonna take him out, homeschool my kid. You guys have at it. I'm gonna do my thing, you do your thing, and then 90 days, we'll reevaluate and see who really gets the job done. And I called my client and I said, that's my son. We don't share the same last name. So they didn't know that, you know, Malk's my son, like, called the big boss. That's my son. Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah. It's like, okay, well, this is our policy for liability. I get it. I completely understand. When he comes back, I'll make sure that he's equipped with resources. Just kept it at that. And he came back, and it was a completely different narrative.

Okay, so what happened? You taught him how to talk?

Well, yeah, we talked. We went to speech therapy. Because now it's really hard maybe, like, in South Florida. I don't know what it's like nationwide, but having these services and having a consistent therapist at that. Right?

Yeah. Especially the government programs.

Yeah. So having, like, a consistent therapist. Right. So in the mornings, I realized that we had more leeway. So him being home was actually an advantage. Right. So take him out, go to therapy three times a week. You do it. Speech, his ot, you know, all that good stuff. And then, you know, there was a recommendation to have an rbt, which I thought would be great for me because I didn't want to get burnt out. So the stubbornness in me had to kind of, like, die. Because I was kind of still in denial that my son needed the services in a way. So it's like an internal fight, you know? And then I think that's a good thing, though. Yeah, that's a good thing.

It's your intuition.

Yeah.

It's what got you. That's what got shit done in the first place.

100% trouble.

That's what kept you to start your business. That's the thing that helps you keep your baby.

Right.

All the stuff that happened, like, don't ever try to. I say, don't ever try to tone that down.

Right.

I mean, that's what made you not take that as an answer that.

Right.

Son was doomed to freaking have that. And you would have taught him how to talk or anything.

Right. 100. And having the RBT I had to look at. It was. Was. It was actually pretty good because they were trained still on, like, how to deal with, you know, with his condition. But it was like having a mother's helper. So, you know, they come to the house, you know, I make food, and, you know, we become a family. Right. And that was the relationship that we developed. And then. And when it was time and I told the RBT that we had, I'm like, listen, this is not going to be forever. This is just for now, just to build his confidence, you know, potty train him. Teach me how to, like, you know, wash his hands good and, you know, just put those. Those life skills into him at this point. Because at the time, I'm working and I'm building a business.

So you have your other daughter.

Yeah, and I have my other daughter that needs my attention. And it's not. Yeah, it's not fair for me to just, you know, put her on the back burner. Right? So it was. It was a good experience that we had. And we're still friends till this day, the RBT and I. And when he went to school, it was like a 180. A 180.

So you got him back to just being a normal kid. Now you say you can't shut him up. Right.

He talks so much. He even tells my business sometimes.