How Andy & I Built the Best Marriage in the World // FULL SPEECH // JACQUELINE ELLIOTT

The world is telling you out there that you have to be good at one thing and not the other. You have to keep your family away. You have to go and kick ass at work, and your family needs to be okay. I did not want to be the queen at home and get whatever I wanted when Andy was working. I wanted to be the battlemate. I wanted to grow with him. I wanted to feel the grind. I wanted to support him, I wanted to hold him accountable. I wanted all of that. Hey, guys, thank you so much for being here. It's a complete honor to be here. Thank you. I love watching you guys do your push ups and your air squats. It's super awesome. I get to do them every day with these crazy fools over here. But for those of you that don't know me, my name is Jacqueline Elliott. I'm going to speak to you from my heart and I'm going to tell you a lot of things that made me very vulnerable. But I'm going to speak to you as a woman. I'm going to speak to you as a mother. I'm going to speak to you as a business woman as well. And I'm going to speak about some of the mistakes that we've made. I'm also Andy Elliott's wife. A lot of people, you know that it's a little crazy living with a man, I gotta say, and he pushes a lot of people to be the best version of themselves. And I push him a ton. And you'll probably see that by the time we're done with this. So before I met Andy Elliott, I was in business. I grew up, I learned how to work. I did a lot of different things, but I didn't really care about a lot of stuff. But I did take a lot of everything that everybody told us we shouldn't do. We made a lot of mistakes. We had to start over and over and over and over. But we searched for the right place and we couldn't find it. So we built this group of crazy people that were all broken, just like me and Andy, and we turned it to something beautiful. And I believe in not walking on eggshells and speaking truth. So I speak truth to our team and in our family. So I believe that I've earned the right to be direct with them. And that's why it's so beautiful, because we learn to be who we are, and that's why a lot of people are attracted to our group. So you can be direct as a leader. You can be direct to grow your team right? Or you can also can be a bad leader, because bad leaders, what they want to do is they want to teach their team that they know more than you. And that's exactly what we don't do. And one of the things that we do with our team, why everybody feels warm and fuzzy when they go to Scottsdale to be with us, is we lead with the heart. So I'm a visual person, and I wanted to kind of share this little video of what we stand for. And we believe in recreating ourselves every single day because we started from nothing, and we believe that those who start with nothing end up with the most. We believe in keeping it new and starting over and over. So we've been through zero, which we sold everything to start our business. We slept on mattresses. We started that. We went to a little, tiny 780 square foot building, and then we upgraded, and then we went to 1.0, right? And then we went to 2.0, and we started growing, and now we believe that we've hit 3.0. Whatever your dream is, you need to go for it. You need to run. But before we built our team, we had to. Andy and I had to first become marriage millionaires. We had to really decide to do this together because we both made money and we lost it. We started one thing, and then we lost it. And sometimes we go on and we're chasing money and we're chasing success so much that we start over and we lose it because we're not on the same page. Or you have one person growing and the other one is not. So I had a hard conversation with Andy at one point, and I told him one time, you're one dimensional, dude. Like, you are, you're here, but you're not really here. You're at work, and you're thinking about how you need to come home and spend time with us, but then you get home, and then you're thinking about work and the deals that you're missing and all these different things, and you're not really where your feet are. You need to be where your feet are. A lot of people ask me, hey, Jacqueline, how do you do it? How do you take care of business? And how do you not feel guilty for working? Because I'm where my feet are. Because if I give my kids 20 minutes, I'm there for 20 minutes, and I'm really there. I put my phone down. I'm not scrolling on social media while my kids are playing. I'm intentional with my time. But the world is telling you out there that you have to be good at one thing and not the other. You have to keep your family away. You have to go and kick ass at work and your family and needs to be okay. I did not want to be the queen at home and get whatever I wanted when Andy was working. I wanted to be the battlemate. I wanted to grow with him. I wanted to fill the grind. I wanted to support him. I wanted to hold him accountable. I wanted all of that. So who sold you on that lie? It's about to change. If you really want to make success happen for you and you really want it to last, you're gonna have to change that. But your family, sometimes you tell them what you want to do. And I'm not talking about your mom and dad and aunts and uncles. I'm talking about your battle mate, the person that's next to you. I'm talking about the immediate people. When we made all the sacrifices, when we went and slept on mattresses and we sold everything to start our business, we had a conversation. Andy and I had a conversation, and we said, hey, this is what our life is going to look like, and we're going to have to. We're going to have to make some plans together, and we're not going to tell anybody about what our plans are going to look like. And we're going to go. Because I know if I would have told my parents that I'm going to sell my house and I'm going to go sleep on mattresses, they would have been like, what the hell are you doing? And would have talked me out of that. But what about the promises that you made to your spouse? Sometimes a lot of people say, hey, why doesn't my wife believe me? Why doesn't she support me? Have you made some promises to yourself and to your wife? Have you said you're gonna do something and you don't do it? How many times have you said, I'm gonna go to the gym on Monday, and you don't do it? How many times do you say that I'm gonna go home and I'm gonna study to get better? And then you go and you start watching TV again and complaining about your bosses. You're also handcuffed to your past. Anything, some. Anytime something gets difficult, you go back to being who you are and breaking your own promises. What have you told your wife? Hey, babe, this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. I need you to trust me. I need you to support me. Give me three years, and I'M going to buy you the house. I'm going to buy the car. I'm going to buy you everything you want, baby. Three years, Johnny, he's only three years old. By the time he's six, he won't even remember. And you're going to have everything you want. Just trust me, blindly, trust me, support me. And then what happens? Johnny is now 6. Your bank account hasn't grown. You lost three years. You broke your promises again, again. And it happens over and over and over. And it's because that blind trust, because you didn't include her in that. But why should she trust you again? If you're failing yourself, why quit making false promises? Hold through with your commitments. Fighting, we believe fighting is healthy. A lot of people are like, why would you say that fighting is healthy? Nobody wants to walk on eggshells. You see a lot of people that go and they live their lives and then all of a sudden they get divorced. You're like, what happened? You look like you were happy. It's all those times they didn't fight to death by a thousand paper cuts. They can't even idente her in that. But why should she trust you again? If you're failing yourself, why quit making false promises? Hold through with your commitments. Fighting, we believe fighting is healthy. A lot of people are like, why would you say that fighting is healthy? Nobody wants to walk on eggshells. You see a lot of people that go and they live their lives and then all of a sudden they get divorced. You're like, what happened? You look like you were happy. It's all those times they didn't fight. Death by a thousand paper cuts. They can't even identify. They resent each other now. They didn't fight. They didn't really know each other. They didn't know what pushed each other's buttons. They didn't understand each other. They were trying to avoid a problem and it escalated and they got disconnected. Now they can't even look at each other. They get disgusted. So we believe that healthy couples fight for resolution. Fight, fight, but don't fight to win. Unhealthy couples fight for personal victory. They want to have that last word. You say what you need to say and at the end you feel like shit. That's not the right way to fight. You fight for what you believe in. You're going to fight in business. You're going to fight for your marriage. You're going to fight for everything that's worth fighting for. That's right. But there's one rule that we had to come up with if someone wins. No one wins. You're in this together, okay? Whether you're single or you're married, you're made for communion, so you're going to have to learn this shit now or later. But you're going to get slapped in the face if you're not paying attention. I'm just telling you right now, comfort kills the next thing. A lot of times we're looking for in our marriage or in our relationship for the other one to make us feel good, nice and fuzzy. One of the things I can tell you the reason why Andy Elliot has grown is because I don't let him get comfortable, you know? And he knows that I care. I can either be the bitch, right? Or I can push him to grow and show him how much I believe in him, right? Motivate and empower each other to know you're capable of more. But don't let your spouse complain. When he comes home and complains about the boss and complains about it being a bad day, remind him of why he loves doing what he does. Don't let him complain. Don't let him kick his feet up. Don't let him get comfortable. Make that commitment that you're going to grow together and empower him to grow. What do the patterns look like when he comes? Does he complain about something and then he kicks his feet up? You're like, oh, honey, tomorrow's going to be a better day. No, change that. Make him make that extra phone call at the end, and that way he can end with a win. But empower each other to be better. Make your wife feel beautiful. Just had a baby, whatever it was. Do not disconnect women. We are so good at saying no when it's a yes. I'm telling you, it's the truth. Who understands us? We're freaking crazy as shit. But you know what? We go through different stages. We work together in things, you know, and that's. That's the way it is. I went through when I was younger, I went through my cold stage, and then I went to being married and learning how to build stuff together and learning how to share a bank account, and then being married and then feeling like I wasn't capable of certain things, and then having her first kid and falling in love with that, and then going to being married and remembering, oh, gosh, I got to stay close to my husband again, and then feeling like I was empty because I was giving everything to my kids, and then going back to rediscovering myself. There's a lot of stuff that we go through. You need to understand that. But empower each other. Make yourself feel special. Keeping it new. Why is this so important in everything that you do in business?