How I Built the Andy Elliott You Know Today // The Jacqueline Elliott Show - Ep1 Part 3

When you tell me how you see me, like, if it's like you. You say that I'm powerful, you say that I'm capable, You say, I can do this. Like, dude, like, you almost gave me permission to go to war, and I could just tear a whole country down.

Going back to your question that you said, hey, how do I get, you know, know my wife to support me? I'm going to kind of flip it around on you, okay. And I'll. I'll go ahead and answer that question later, but what do you think that has happened in our relationship that has caused me to help? You basically know that you can achieve certain things, or what has helped you the most in me as a role, as a. As a wife and as a mom or whatever.

Well, I mean, there's a lot of things, but, like, you supporting me, what does that mean?

Because a lot of people say support.

Oh, well, number one, you've always told me what you see in me, and I like that. I think that that's something that's not done anymore. I think that a lot of people just expect, like, because we're together, like, you support me, but that's good. Like, you'll always tell me, like, this is what I see in you. And to me, like, as a man, I'm speaking from a man's side. I'm sure it works the same for women. But, like, when you tell me what you see in me, it makes me want to go viciously attack because I believe in myself. Now you've made me aware of something that I was thinking and might be wondering. And even if the whole world tells me that I'm worth it or if I say I'm worth it, if you tell me I'm worth it, obviously I got with you. I got married to you. So, like, your opinion. Yeah, it comes totally different. So I think that a lot of women and a lot of men don't tell the other side what they see in them. And all we do is once we get in a relationship, we just tear each other down. You know, we become comfortable, we get stagnant. It's like you said, it's like two people living under the same roof in the same bed, miles apart. They get disconnected, they become partners, and they stop thriving together.

It's like a business relationship. There's no intimacy, there's no growth in those.

Yeah. When you tell me how you see me, like, if it's like, you say that I'm powerful, you say that I'm capable, you say I can do this like, dude, like, you almost gave me permission to go to war and I could just tear a whole country down.

Well, it's interesting because a lot of people don't know how to do that, though. So the way that we've kind of done that, I think a lot of people don't really understand. I'm not like, hey, honey, you're great. Like, you're. You can go, you know, do anything you want in life. I mean, you're part. I don't, I don't really do that, though. Like, I think we start with the dirty and you actually go and attack people and push them to grow in a certain way because you got pissed off first, right? So I kind of pissed you off in that sense. But I have a certain meaning behind what I'm doing to build you up after.

Yeah, okay.

If you come home and you say, hey, you know what? I'm not good at this. For example, I'm not good at, you know, whatever, I can't overcome this. Or I can't close this client on this. I'm not good at that. Or these people are this. I like, won't allow you to talk that way. And we talk about like, hey, you do know how to do this. We just need a practice. And then I basically make you see your future. You in the sense that, hey, if you were to overcome this and that, imagine where that's going to take you. And then you kind of build on that and then you believe it before you actually go and do it.

Yeah.

But first it comes.

I think there's two parts to your answer. I think that one is like the way that you make me feel when you build me up, right. But then I think the other is when you don't let me be weak and you don't let me say negative things and you don't let me say, like, I can't or something like that, or give up. So this is a big deal. Like, so. So, Jack, I'm going to go back to when we're in our 20s, right? I remember one night I was selling cars. I was in the automotive industry when I'm younger and I'm selling cars and I'm driving home. I left about an hour and a half before the end of the day, right? So I got to work like 8 in the morning. It's like 6:30 at night. And I'm just, you know, I'm just beat, man. I've been through like seven customers. None of them can buy. It's just a grind, right? Like negative equity Upside down. I'm not gonna buy. Not don't have the right car. It's like everything was going against me. So some seven in couldn't close the deal, which is like, obviously not like me. So I'm like, okay, dude, I'm just gonna get. I'm just gonna get out of here. I'll come back tomorrow, right? And I remember calling her on the way home. And I'm like, I'm on my way home. And she's like, how many did you sell today? Because she's always asking, you know, she's in sales too. She's like, how many did you sell today? I'm like, zero. And she's like, okay, turn back around. And I'm like, I'm not turning back around. She goes, no, you're going to come home, you're going to have a shitty attitude. You're going to be negative, and you're going to bring that shit home. I'm not going to have you bring that shit home. Okay? So go back to work, go find a car deal, and then come home. And I remember I was pissed because we're fighting because we're fighting about it. And she's like, I'm not joking. And I hate it because she goes, I'm not joking. Turn around. I'm dead serious. Like, if you come home, I'm gonna leave. And I'm like, what is your problem? And she's like, go sell a car and then come home. That way at least you'll bring a good attitude to the house. Because I can already tell I don't like the attitude you have. And dude, I'm like, dude, I'm gonna kill her. But I turn back around and I go back to work. And everybody's like, oh, you came back to work. And that even pissed me off more. Okay? And then anyways, I seconds later ran into a couple that literally said, we're here to buy two cars. And I walked right out there, found two cars, boom. Rode them both up, sold them, took them to the finance office. An hour later, I'm leaving work. And I'm like, I don't want to tell her. You know what I mean? Because I already see she's already going to do what she's doing now. And I was like, hey, babe, I'm on my way home. She's like, you sold something, didn't you?

Well, he said, hey, baby. Hey, baby. I know that. That's like.

I'm like, no. She's like, you did sell something. Tell me the truth. Tell me And I'm like, hey, don't treat me like a baby. And she's like, tell me the truth. Did you. Did you sell something? I know you did. Tell me what you sold. And I said, well, I sold two. And immediately she's like, I told you. And I'm like, damn it. Why are you always freaking, right? And anyways, but so that goes back to the way that you push me, because a lot of men or women would say, oh, baby, come home. It's okay. We'll reset tomorrow. And Jackie's like, no, dude, you're gonna go. This is the law of numbers. This is how this works. You need to go back, and you're gonna. You're gonna make a sell, and then you're gonna come home with a different mindset. And she sent me back into war instead of letting me go sleep on it for a night.

I've done that several times. I mean, a lot of times. But it's. It's been even. Like, if I know that he needs to go to the gym, like, I could tell when his attitude is a certain way. He just needs to go to the gym. Like, hey, don't come home. Don't, you know, just go to the gym for 30 minutes and then come home. Because I already know that you're going to give us leftovers. I already know you're not going to be in the right mood. I already know how this is going to go, so just go. And then every time he goes to the gym or every time he. He went and made that extra call and something happened, I knew that the kids and I would get.

Yeah, I think. I think. I think a secret deal with Jackie is that, you know, like, exercising is a vitamin to me that gets me mentally healthy. I think. I think it works for her, too. I mean, it could work for all of us. But she may not. She may not go to that. But that's. That's. And. And she is very in good shape. But, like, that's my go to, like, whenever I'm having a tough time or whenever I'm trying to process something. Like, sometimes I could say things that I regret later, or I might do something that I'm not normally. Like, that's not like me, right? So Jackie understands when she sees these things, and she'll say, hey, you need to go to the gym.

I know you more than you know yourself.

But I always will say, no, I'm not going to the gym. I don't need to go. Because I'll try to fight it, right? Because it's got to be my idea. Right? And she's like, no, you're going to go to the gym and I will see you in an hour. Just go put your foot.

You really want to go to the gym?

You're just gonna.

You're just trying to be. Just trying to, like, you really win.

Yeah, I know. Well, but this is what we do. It's always a competitive game. Right? Like, it's got to be my idea. It's got to be her idea. But we actually.

Most of the time, it's my idea, though.

Yeah. But we actually really, though, understand each other really well. And she knows what I need, and I know that she knows. So I'll leave, I'll go to the gym, and I'll come back an hour later. And, you know, we don't even talk about anything anymore. Like, it's good. Like, it's totally cool. Yeah.

And we don't need to.

Yeah, we don't need to. Yeah. Because I was probably just acting like a little baby.

You know that little smile that comes out.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, see, I think it's important that you understand, like, what. What your spouse needs when they need it. I think it's super important that you identify. Remember, your whole goal of being together is to really make each other better and protect each other.

Right. And people stay together, trust each other to do that.

Yeah. Well, they forget that. Right? Because honestly, dude, if we're together every day, we're together 17 years. There's a time at some point where you're like, you know, like, you just start being bad to each other, like, for no reason. Like, people do this all the time.

Well, you get comfortable. You quit trying to impress each other. You don't keep it new anymore. You just. Instead of giving your spouse or the person that's next to you your best, you basically are comfortable. You give them your worst, but you're giving your clients and everybody else your best. If you're pissed off, you're not going to start yelling at your clients, or you're not going to start yelling at your co workers. You're going to go home and yell at your wife and kids or husband.

Yeah.

And that's what usually happens, but it really is backwards.

It.