Your Burnout Is Not A Discipline Problem

What's going on, guys? Today we're gonna be talking about, um, the L pillar. All right, so if you have not gone back to the previous lives, we have gone through each past 3 lives. I've been going through each of the first 3 pillars of the Built Framework, right? B, U, and I. I've gone through awareness, which is break limiting beliefs. That's all about awareness. Just a little recap for people. And I think it's good to always be recapping this stuff. Awareness, right? So we have awareness, nervous system regulation, and we talked about visualization and orientation in the last training. Um, and today we're going to get into all of those emotions and traumas that you've been resisting for years. And a lot of it goes back to your childhood, but getting comfortable feeling all that stuff, right? Getting comfortable feeling your emotions is so important. Um, it's not talked about enough in the space. I think it's like soft, it's woo-woo. It's like, hey, this is what's holding you back. So you can think it's soft and you can think that it's stupid and dumb and all this stuff and you need to go grind and put in more reps, fine by me. You're going to continue to be stressed out and anxious and run by your past patterns until you can see these things, until you can let them come up and process them and let them go. Until you can let those emotions come up that you've been resisting, all those things that you've been resisting, the ways of feeling and all that stuff, until that can come up and you can feel it— it's called somatic experiencing if you look it up— till you can feel that stuff, you'll never be able to change. You'll never be able to truly lock in a new baseline. Inbuilt, what are we talking about? We are talking about the inner operating system for high performers, for entrepreneurs, the blueprint to your inner world. When have you been ever given a blueprint for your inner world? You never have. No one's ever given it to you. Okay, maybe you got some basic mindset training that someone comes in here and tells you to do XYZ. That's not enough. That doesn't reprogram your subconscious conditioning. Why? Because it only works at the level of cognition. And so much of our lives are governed by what happens to us physiologically in our body. So Built brings us all together and it takes you through and gives you the skills that you need in the correct sequence to actually be able to reprogram your subconscious conditioning. Because if your subconscious conditioning runs 95% of your life, think about that, 95% of your daily thoughts, behaviors, and actions are run subconsciously, meaning below your conscious mind. So you could sit there all day long and be like, I'm gonna be more confident. I'm gonna be more grateful, I'm gonna be more relaxed. But the second you stop consciously thinking about it, you go back to doing whatever you're doing, where's your body going? It's going right back to its old patterns, right back to what it's been programmed to do. And listen, we— a lot of that programming comes from childhood, it comes from other things, and that's okay. It is what it is. Here's what happens. Your parents unconsciously program you to be a certain way. Because from 0 to 8, you are like a computer program. You have no analytical mind. It hasn't formed yet to be able to determine if what your parents are saying and how they're acting is actually going to support you in your life. You don't have that luxury, unfortunately, as a child. So as a child, you're downloading beliefs, how they act, how they respond to the world, how they think about the world, their emotional tone. As a, as a, as a child, you have no ability to regulate your nervous system. So you learn how to regulate— let me make sure my mic is on the right thing. It is. Okay. You learn how to regulate through your caregivers, through the people in your world as a kid. So if your parents are dysregulated and they're running around like a chicken with their head cut off, guess what? Your nervous system learns that that's the normal state. Learns that you got to run around like a chicken with your head cut off. You got to be stressed, anxious. Maybe it's stress and anxiety. Maybe your parents are sad all the time. You learn to be sad. Maybe they're angry all the time. You learn to just fly off the handles. You learn this from your parents. Now, when you're a kid— this is kind of getting into some of the stuff we're gonna talk about— but as a kid, if your nervous system never learned how to truly shut off because your parents weren't emotionally regulated, then that's the default system you're training, right? From boom, 7, 8 years old, you're running around stressed out, always in this constant urgency, right? Because that's how you learn to survive as a kid, and that's what was hardwired into you. And now you're doing everything in your life from this survival state, everything in your life, right through high school. You're always worrying about grades, always anxious, always pressuring yourself, always doing all these things, right? In high school, boom, right into college, right into college, you're stressed out, you're You're anxious, again, pressure, pressure, pressure. It's all you know. So you just think that's the way the world is. You just have to operate under pressure. That's how I get things done. I gotta be a little bit stressed out all the time. No, it's how you've learned to operate. It doesn't mean it is the way, the way to operate. And it also doesn't mean that it's the most effective way to operate. 'Cause yeah, pressure creates movement and pressure creates diamonds and all this stuff. Pressure can create diamonds, It can also frickin' crush diamonds and make them nothing. And that's what pressure is doing to you because we don't have the internal capacity to deal with pressure. So what ends up happening? This is the only reason you're overwhelmed. Okay, listen to this. The events of life are greater than your internal capacity to handle them. That is why you are stressed out. That is why you are overwhelmed. It's very simple. The external demands of life, work, and your needs, and your family, and your friends, and all this stuff, it's overwhelming. It's overwhelming. So what do we try to do? We try to spend our whole life making the world less stressful and less pressure-based. And how's that working out? How is that working out? It's not. 'Cause you can't control the external world. You cannot control what happens. Our body wants certainty. So instead of developing our internal ability to deal with all this external stress, what are we doing? We're trying to control the external stress. That is like— when I talk about built, I talk about we're rebuilding our house, like our inner world. We got to rebuild that house. Instead, you're living in this dilapidated house that's about to fall down, which is your inner world right now, and then you're spending all your time and effort trying to pray that the weather never comes because you know your house is going to hold up. It's like me being down here in St. Pete, Florida, and being like, plea, like outside, just praying and putting all of my energy and attention and effort into praying that there's never another hurricane in St. Pete, Florida. It's absolutely ridiculous. It makes no sense. Like, that's never gonna happen. There's gonna be hurricanes, there's gonna be weather, there's gonna be flooding. So instead of me spending all my time and effort wasting away on trying to prevent external stress and pressure, Why don't I just rebuild my internal toolkit? Why don't I just build my inner capacity to handle the stress of life and to handle the pressure? So it doesn't matter what happens. It doesn't matter if it's hell on earth, shiz is hitting the fan and it is absolute chaos. It doesn't matter because you have the internal tools, awareness, nervous system orientation, emotional regulation, you have these internal tools to be able to deal with life. That is the missing link for you. It's the missing link for you. Whether you're in the corporate world or you're a manager or you're a CEO or you're a leader or you're an entrepreneur, entrepreneur, you're a salesperson, whatever you are, your missing link is building the internal toolkit to be able to deal with the pressure of life. Like I said, it's like we're rebuilding that house. Instead of having this broken-down, dilapidated house and praying that the weather never comes because we know the house can't hold, why don't we just rebuild the house? Why don't we just rebuild the inner world, the house, the tools, our awareness of patterns, right? Reprogram our subconscious patterns, increase our nervous system's capacity to deal with stress. That's what we gotta do. No one's doing it though. No one's doing it. What are we doing? More reps. Oh, just go put in more reps. You gotta be more disciplined. You need a better calendar. Go read another book, go do this, go do— that is like trying to download new apps on a computer from 1995. It doesn't work. You can put all the habits that you want in place, habits, the routines, the calendar, the strategies, the this, the that. Your nervous system is like the hardware of your computer. I want you to think about yourself as a computer and you're running a certain program right now, but the infrastructure, The hardware of that computer is like your nervous system. What can the computer handle? That is your nervous system. Okay. So, and you and your identity, your subconscious patterns is like the software, right? But the hardware is the nervous system. So if you're trying to download iOS 27, macOS Tahoe, whatever it's called, 26 on the first ever MacBook, guess what's not going to work? The software. It ain't gonna work. The computer— the hardware of the computer physically can't hold that. So you can have this vision of yourself, this future version that you want to be, and you want to grow and build this big business and do all these different things. If you do not have the hardware, if you don't have the physiology, the nervous system regulation capacity that's capable of being this type of person— because let me tell you, you want to go build the business You want to go hire a team, you want to go shake some trees, it's going to be chaotic. It's going to be stressful out there. But I'll tell you, there's a difference between external stress and pressure and feeling that on the inside. Because I have external stress and pressure every single day. Honestly, I've been tested more than I ever have in my entire life in the past 6 months. And I've never been more regulated in that piece because I've learned these skills. Because I've learned the internal toolkit I need to handle life. This is the prerequisite for high performance, guys. Understand this is the prerequisite for high performance. To be a performer at the highest level, you need inner peace, you need inner regulation. I want you to think about a lake. Have you ever been on a lake on a boat? When you're going across what they call the broads, which is like the middle part of the lake, and it's a super windy day, you can't go very fast. You can only go like 10, maybe 15 miles an hour because the waves are really big and the boat's just like bang, bang, bang, and you got to use a ton of force to push through that waves— through those waves. And you're making progress, you're making effort for sure— or making effort— you are making ground, but you're not being as efficient as you could. Whereas when you get up on that lake in the morning, oh, it's that calm, they call it glass. This is like perfect for water skiing or wakeboarding or whatever you were doing. Like you loved glass in the morning for wakeboarding because you could get up, there was no waves, you're just ripping across the lake. But when you wake up and the water is glass, you can fly across the water like 40 miles an hour. It's the same thing for you in your internal world. When your internal world is freaking chaos, and your, your, your thoughts run you into the ground. You can't deal with negative thoughts. You have no idea how to handle your, handle your emotions. You just push them away or you fly off the handles. You're running around in a dysregulated physiological nervous system state pretty much 24/7, and you wonder why life is so hard because you're completely neglecting all of your inner world. You have to pay attention to your inner world, and when you can quiet all that stuff down You're like the boat. All your energy and effort is going— you're just flying across the lake because it's quiet in here. You're not expending all this energy on the thoughts and the emotions and the dysregulation. All that energy that was going into being dysregulated or going into your negative thoughts and beliefs or going into suppressing your emotions, all of that energy, it goes into what you're doing, and you multiply your results. Peace is a performance multiplier. Okay? It is a performance multiplier. And you gotta understand that. And it's a beautiful thing because it's like you could have your cake and eat it too. We think that inner peace and performance, like getting results, are mutually exclusive, meaning that you cannot have both. It's either one or the other. Either I'm relaxed and at peace or I'm stressed out, but I'm getting the results. No, guys, peace and inner regulation is a prerequisite for you performing at the highest level because it clears out all this internal chaos and noise and gives you back so much energy and clarity to focus on exactly what you're doing, the task at hand. Think about awareness, for example. Like, if you have a negative thought that comes in about, you know, a deal that might fall through, or if if you're gonna hit your quota. When you put your attention and energy towards that thought, you feed it, it puts you into a dysregulated state, your brain comes offline. And right at that point, you're not being as effective as you could. So how much is it costing you not to have the awareness to understand when you're dysregulated? How much is that costing you? How much is it costing you to not know how to regulate your system so you can turn your prefrontal cortex back on and be able to execute? How much is it costing you because you don't know how to deal with your emotions and how to release all that unprocessed trauma that is just like background tabs running in the background of your life? How much is it costing you? Is it costing you an incredible amount? So today I wanna get into the L pillar here for the last 15 minutes here. So we talked about awareness, we talked about nervous system, we talked about visualization, the last pillar. Okay. So if you haven't looked at those, you can go back and check them out. They're all on YouTube saved. Or if you're on LinkedIn right now or Facebook, you should see them in my feed. You can scroll back. I recommend just going over to YouTube though. It'd be easier. Letting go of the past. So understanding, like, as you begin to be aware of your patterns, your subconscious patterns, and you begin to regulate, and you increase your regulation capacity, right? And you start to orient towards the future. You understand how to orient without chasing, and you begin to condition these new patterns in, right? So that's where we're at right now. And understand, like, up to this point We have been aware, we've regulated, and then we're doing the self-image work. Whereas you guys have probably always just been, okay, learn it in a book, let me just do it, let me just do the self-image work. But you haven't built the skills of awareness to recognize when you're in old patterns or when you're dysregulated. So you're just setting yourself up for failure. And then you also haven't built the ability to regulate. So you can be aware of your patterns, be aware of when you're thinking negatively, be aware of when you're dysregulated. But if you don't have the actual capacity physiologically and know what to do to get your system back to center, back to ground zero, you're not even able to do the visualization, or the visualization is not even going to sink in. Because we know with neuroplasticity, your body needs to feel safe, it needs to be regulated for you to actually be able to lock in the new learning, or you have to be in that state of play So they say you got to be light and regulated. But as you start to do this new visualization work, old patterns are coming up. So as we know, when you look at Body Keeps the Score, let me tell you something about that book. Bessel van der Kolk, he basically started his trauma work with Navy or Vietnam veterans. And what he found was that he would do his traditional talk therapy with the veterans. They'd come in, they talk about their trauma, and intellectually they understood their trauma. They understood why it happened, why they need to release it, why it's no longer a threat, all that stuff. Completely rational, completely logical. So you would think that these people were past their PTSD because they could, they could, they could, you know, explain it, um, narratively, right? So we have narrative memory and we have somatic memory. Which is in the body. So narratively, they, they understood it. But what happened was when they left the office, right, they might smell a particular chemical odor that brought them back to there. Maybe a truck like backfired, like, right in the streets, and their physiology would, in a second, go right back to like they were in the war. So that's when Bessel van der Kolk began to realize that memories and trauma isn't stored in the brain, it's also stored in the body as a feeling. What happens is we go through these traumatic experiences, right? And we— it's so intense that we now resist it. So after that event happens, the emotion tries to come up to complete, because in the middle of the trauma, like, your cortisol and adrenaline is running, like, you don't register it. But after the fact, the emotion comes up, you resist it, like, oh my God, I do not want to go back there. To whatever that traumatic event was. Doesn't have to be this like freaking terrible thing of like war or incest or rape or whatever. Like, doesn't have to be these horrible things. It could just be like an event that traumatized you, or it doesn't have to be like some massive accident. It could be like a, a presentation that went wrong and like traumatized you. But letting the feeling of that come up is what completes the process. What happens is That was a traumatic event. You didn't like how it felt, whether it was anxiety or stress or whatever, so now you suppress it. And anytime the thought of that comes up, oh, presentation, boom. That's why you have anxiety for presentations or whatever it is in your life, because something happened in that presentation or in that business meeting or on that sales call, and it made you feel a way, anxiety or stress or whatever, or you flopped on the call and it was embarrassing and it was humiliating. Okay, now every single time that you think about a sales call, what do you do? Instantly you feel anxiety. Every time you think about a presentation, instantly you feel anxiety. Every time you think about a meeting, instantly you feel anxiety. Why? Because that memory was not only stored in your mind, it was stored in your body. So you have the memory of anxiety and because you don't feel the anxiety and let it come up, your body hasn't processed it. So the body keeps the score, it literally stays stored in your body. And that event becomes a trigger for you. Anytime you think about the board meeting, you think about having that conversation with your boss, or you think about hiring someone, or you think about going out on your own and building a business, it triggers those feelings that you don't want to feel. And as long as it's triggering those feelings and you're suppressing them, every single time that you're suppressing them, you're opening up another tab in the background of your body, right? Opening up another tab. So as you begin to do this identity work, right? And you become this new person, you become more regulated and more at peace. These old parts of yourself want to come up, and a lot of people think that they're regressing. They think they're going backwards because they're feeling this stuff come up. No, your body is like finally like calm enough that it wants to release the emotion. It wants to come up and let it go. So understand that triggers are not regression, they're actually progression. And that is how you completely let go of your old patterns, completely let go of all that past conditioning and trauma, is to feel it. So memory network gets triggered, you think of something, boom, feeling. Now when that memory comes up, this is an area called memory reconsolidation research, but basically when that trigger happens and you feel the anxiety, that thing becomes like labile or editable, almost like a file.. And if you can meet it with a new pattern, a new regulated state, you can reprogram that memory into the body as one where you're regulated instead of stressed. So that's the beautiful thing about triggers. As these triggers come up, you have to feel them and let them go, right? And presence is the mechanism. What is presence? It's basically non-resistance. So non-resistance of your emotions. Okay. Ah, that's right. And when we do that, I'll get to a second. So trigger comes up, boom. Maybe it's a sales call. Maybe it's a, it's speaking, right? Anything that you think about that triggers an automatic feeling of anxiety or stress is an event that you have not fully processed yet. There's some emotion tied to that, that you keep resisting instead of just feeling the emotion. Like think about the sales call, then just feel the anxiety. Ah, let it come through. And when you can feel it and just be relaxed and just feel the charge of the emotion in your body, it will begin to dissipate. It will begin to dissolve. So you feel it, boom, and let it go. And then soon you just think about the sales call and you— and it's peace and it's regulation because you've reprogrammed the memory networks in your body to associate thinking about sales or thinking about your quota or entrepreneurship or leadership or this or that with regulation, and then that's no longer a trigger in your life. It no longer controls you. Now we have all these triggers in our life, guys, all these different things in our life that trigger us, right? All these experiences that we don't want to feel, that we don't want to, um, yeah, that we don't want to feel. We don't feel comfortable feeling them. So every time that you resist feeling an emotion, whether it's anxiety, stress, uncertainty, doubt, sadness, depression, whatever, whatever emotion you resist feeling, maybe it's happiness, maybe you're just, you resist feeling loved or happy. It's like you're opening a computer tab in the background of your body, opening a tab, opening a tab, opening a tab. Okay. The only way to close the tab is to get triggered, feel the anger, the sadness, the guilt, whatever it is associated with it. And you gotta feel it. You gotta relax your body. You feel the emotion in your chest. Like I'll do it all the time. Something will trigger me. I'm doing, guys, all of these are lifelong practices, lifelong practices. But I'll feel something, anger. I don't know why, such an angry person, but whatever. I get angry, something triggers me because I've retrained my subconscious conditioning to understand this. Something triggers me and makes me angry. I instantly feel the anger. I instantly aware that I'm angry and I just feel the charge in my body. It's usually in my chest where I'm just like angry, right? And I feel that charge, but I relax my body. Ah, this is what anger feels like. Interesting. I don't fight it. I don't try to let it go. Okay, go away, anger, push it away. You know, I'm not trying to get rid of it. I'm just letting it sit there. It's like a cloud, right? And when you let the anger sit there, or you let the sadness sit there, maybe you feel sad. Hey, guess what? It's okay. Sadness isn't bad. Depression isn't bad. Anxiety isn't bad. Those aren't bad feelings. It's part of being a human being is feeling your emotions. Do you understand that? Do you understand that it's part of being a human being to feel the full emotional spectrum? I know that's wild to think about, but that's the reality. Okay, why can't— why can't we get through life? Because we can't deal with our thoughts and our emotions. That's really the bottom line. Our thoughts freaking run us into the ground, and our emotions completely dysregulate us and take us over. 'Cause we have no idea how to deal with them. No one's ever given us a toolkit for it. No one's given us the blueprint for our inner world until now, until now. So understand that triggers, when you get triggered and these emotions come up, it's all about letting go of these past patterns. It's called somatic experiencing if you wanna look it up. Peter Levine talks about it in Waking the Tiger. He came out with the book in like 1997, I think. Somatic experiencing, right? You got to get into the body, you got to feel these things. Now, the way that you feel these things— and I think I might go over this in the BILT call tonight at 5:30— but the way that you— so these traumas that you have, or these emotions you've been resisting, you have to bring them up in little bits, right? You can't just like feel it all, your system's going to shut down. So you have to do what's called titration, which is like little droplets. So think about it like You feel a little bit of the feeling and then you go back to regulation. You feel a little bit more and you go back to regulation. So whatever triggers you, whether it's thinking about money or thinking about your business or thinking about your career, like you just think about certain things and they just, they trigger you, or you think about public speaking, triggers you. Okay. So there's some work we need to do there. Wherever there's a trigger, there's work. So I want you to reframe your mind to understand that triggers are actually opportunities for you to grow. Okay. Because when triggers come up and you meet them with presence, you actually regain internal capacity. Do you know how much energy your system puts forth to stuff that stuff down every single day and avoid all these things? So much energy that could be used for you to create and build your business and get more sales and do this and do that. It's all suppressed because you're avoiding everything, trying to avoid your emotions. Let me get away from that. I gotta go on a vacation. I need nicotine. I need a drink. I need whatever it is. I need to work. Work is an escape from just feeling this way. If I just work, work, work, work, then I'll be— No, guys, the only way is through. You got to go through the emotions. You got to feel the emotions. All right? And every single trigger that comes up and you meet with a relaxed state— now, relaxed state means that you don't resist it. Basically, you let the anger come up, the sadness, whatever, and you just feel it. It's just like a cloud. And if you just let the cloud linger there, eventually the cloud goes away. And then it comes back 10 minutes later. Okay, I don't resist it. I'm just like a vessel here. I'm like the sky. I'm like the sky out here. And negative thoughts will come in, negative emotions will come in, whatever. They come into my field and I just let them go. They come into my field, I let them go. Come in, let them go. Come in, let them go. Like it's just flowing through me, guys. I'm not resisting. This is the art of non-resistance. Ooh, it is true though. Like the whole Eastern philosophy. And this is what I'm here to— I'm here to tie the science with the spirituality, guys, because Eastern philosophy has talked about this for thousands of years. Why? Because it's true. But we don't want to believe that. For some reason, we can't believe in things that we can't see. That's our problem, right? We can't believe in things that we can't see. And it's limiting us. So my goal with Bill was to go do the research. Let me go do the research. What is already out there? What's already been studied? What's already been proven in regard to awareness and metacognition and acceptance and commitment therapy and mindfulness training? That's awareness. What's been studied in terms of nervous system already? What's been studied in terms of sports psychology and performance and mental rehearsal research? What's been studied all ready in terms of somatic experiencing and trauma and all this stuff, what's already been studied in terms of motivation theory. That is all, that is BILT. BILT is the science of sustainable performance. It is the science of sustainable high performance. Keyword, sustainable. Because guess what? Life is about the journey. It's not about getting anywhere. It is about the journey. All right? If you guys have any questions on this, Comment, comment on YouTube, wherever you're at, LinkedIn, Facebook. I'll get back to you. Also, if you're on YouTube— well, LinkedIn, there should be a link above. You can join the school community. It's free to join. You can get started in there. I did just release the Foundations course, which is like your entry point into BILT. So before you dive headfirst into the full BILT Blueprint program, which is the complete transformation. It's, it's pretty deep, so you need to get up to speed with foundations, understand the framework at a high level, understand what's dysregulating you, how to fix it, dive a little bit into the pillars of Built, and then walk through a 7-day internal reset challenge where you actually start practicing the stuff. Once you can successfully go through that, then you'll end up be in a position to knock it out of the park with the Built. Blueprint program, right? And I was thinking of saying this yesterday, guys, like, this is my life's work. This is my life's work. This isn't just something I just was like, yeah, let's do it, throw it together, program. No, I dealt with this for like 15 years of my life, being stressed out, being anxious, always chasing things, being the high performer. I was the doer. I would do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, grind, work out in the morning, construction for 10 hours, work out in the evening, hockey practice, 15-hour days, go Let's put everything we possibly can on our plate. That was me. And it doesn't fix your internal problems. Doesn't matter how hard you work, how much you do, it's not gonna fix your internal problems. You have to work from the inside out. And when you work from the inside out, not only do you feel better, all right, you produce better results. You can have your cake and eat it too. All right, guys, I'll see you tomorrow. We're gonna dive into the T-pillar to kind of wrap up this little mini series on The Built Framework. I will see you tomorrow. Till next time, all the peace, all the power.