105: Claiming Your Inner Warrior: Unleashing Your Personal Power and Living in Abundance! Kate McKay

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Welcome to win the Women Investing Network. The podcast where you can learn from successful entrepreneurs, business leaders and real estate investors who are winning in business and life. Learning from others is the fastest way to grow your skills, gain knowledge and avoid pitfalls so you can win. Join your hosts, Jason Hartman and Rich dad, author Sharon Lechter. Sharon is a business mentor, international speaker and best selling author. Jason is a self made multimillionaire investor, entrepreneur and highly acclaimed thought leader. Together with their successful guests, you'll get the tools you need to win.

It is my pleasure to welcome Kate McKay. If you want to achieve greater fulfillment, increase clarity, energy, productivity and more influence, this will be a good episode for you. Kate, welcome. It's good to have you.

I'm so psyched to be here. Jason, thanks so much for having me.

So am I. Well, I, you know, we met in the green room of a conference I was speaking @ just two weeks ago in Dallas and I just instantly liked what you had to say and wanted to bring you on the show to share some of your experience. And you have overcome a lot of hardship in life and that has definitely built a great character. You're very in tune with the male side of things and what society is tragically doing to men, which is awful. You know, just take it wherever you want to go first and we'll go from.

There. I love it. So, Jason, I very rarely do I see people moving around in space with as much energy as me. So I completely honor you for being a high performer in the energy category. So you are clearly on a path and I just want to say I completely validate you for that. So thank you, thank you for everything you're doing, certainly in this world. So thank you. But yeah, so I wrote a book recently called Claim your inner warrior and it's going to be available on Amazon. But I wrote it because, listen, I grew up in a family of nine, I have five brothers. I've been a gym rat my whole life. And I'm used to the male energy and what I've seen and what I've discovered, particularly through my high performance coaching work, is a tremendous, tremendous numbing down of men and the way they express themselves and how they show up in the world. And so this is just a really important conversation for me because as you said, Jake, Jason, I've been through some tragedy. I've had some serious loss, particularly of men in my life. And that has driven me to commit to creating a safe space for men and a safe space to have conversation. We need men to be warriors. I need men to be warriors. And it's just really important to.

Me. What does that mean?

Warrior. Such a good word. I did a podcast. I did 30 podcasts in one month, all with men, in celebration of Movember, which is the men's mental health, suicide prevention and cancer cancer screening organization. Super amazing organization, Movember November with a M. And one of my people that I interviewed said a warrior, and he was real quiet. He said, a warrior is a man who has a heart behind his shield. And I was like, oh, that's so good. Right? Because we need men to be able to tap into their emotional experience, because that's really as the protector, as the warrior, as a man that's here to live into his. His sense of self and his role in this world. He's got to own that. He's got to own the experience. And, Jason, this is the interesting thing. I coach men and women of all different ages. You ask an older guy, you know, they describe something and you say, well, you know, like, I'm saying, like, 50, 60, 70, whatever. And you're like, describing something's pretty intense. And you're like, wow, so how does that feel? And they're like.

Right. But if you ask a younger guy, hey, how does that feel? They're like, ah, really terrible, right? Able to describe that emotional experience. Like, where do you feel in your body? Oh, my stomach. I said, I know, right? So, I mean, I had two sons, so I know what it's like to get into the gritty, but it's really getting into the tactical experience of emotion, because, listen, this is where good stuff happens. And, you know, so we go up from the eyeballs up. Not much transformation is going to happen. Not much authenticity. And really, grit and determination is born in the heart, right? So we have to own that. We have to own that as men and as women, for.

Sure. You know, you're reminding me a little bit of Bob Bly and his sort of men's movement stuff and the fire in the belly and, you know, all of, you know, he used to have these retreats where, you know, guys would be around a campfire and they would chant and do all this stuff. And were you influenced by. By his.

Work? I really wasn't. I think it's just because I'm a gym rat and I'm just so used, and I do a ton of reading. I'm like, I always would know exactly. In the library where all the psychology books were. It was just my fascination of studying human nature. I'm fascinate by how people work, but really more than anything else, it's just from having authentic conversation and really getting into it. You know, I built a multimillion dollar company. I bought and sold gold on a theater degree. And that was based on the fact that I'm able to tap into authentic conversation with people, build trust and be able to work either with the clients I'm buying and selling with, or I'm working with, you know, high end having to negotiate high end deals. And so it's the ability to dance in all energy. And I think men and women are a lot more alike, but there are differences and we have to honor them. It's, it's all done with the feminization of men. My children, my, my boys are extremely articulate emotionally, but they're dudes, they're.

Boys. Right. You know, it definitely, it definitely seems like the genders are merging and there's an agenda behind that. You know, I mean it started a long, long time ago. The fashion world, Calvin Klein, certainly Kenneth Cole, you know, all of these, all of these fashion companies, you know, they've been trying to do this for many years. And you know, I wonder what's behind that. What, what's the thing there? Like, what is the motivation? I think it might be the same motivation that really feminism was promoting and that is lower the birth rate. That's a good deal for, you know, the folks who believe humans are destroying the planet, that humans are not a resource, they're a cost. So there's that part of it. But it's also the part that I talked about during my speech and you mentioned this to me, how the governments and the corporations want people to be apart. They don't want them to be together. It's a much better deal for them if everybody's single or if they're married, if they get divorced because you have more people in the workforce. You know, getting women in the workforce has suppressed men's wages because it's simply adding half the population into the workforce. Of course, more supply, same amount of demand, you're going to have lower wages. Right. You know, also the consumer economy, right. You can sell so much more stuff if people are occupying two households rather than just.

One. Well, look who's doing most of the retail purchasing or women. Right? So I mean you look at just the studies and where, who is spending and we need women working to fuel this 70, what is it? 70% of our.

Economy. Our economy is consumer.

Spending. It's consumer spending. So we need people to be spending. And I. That point about really creating that divide among people of any variety, whether it's Republican, Democrat, men or women, gay or straight, black or white, there is so much division. But, like, where's the unifying factor? Unifying factor is we're all human. We're all here to do great things. We're all unique, and we're all deserve to be heard. And I think that's the most important thing. One of the examples I write about in the book is I had a conversation with one of my clients. I'm like, just literally, like, you act like you're a little bit in the locker room. I guess I'm used to guys like that. But I'm like, all right, what do you need? You know, what do you need, Mark? And he said. He looked at me, looked down the ground and looked at me again, and he was like, what do I. What do I need? Like, that's an interesting question. And I think he thought I was actually kidding. And I said, no. And I just. The ticket is just to be quiet and listen. And I think that's another thing that men need more time. Women can process way quicker. We're just used to it because we're used to relational.

Communication. Right. And multitasking. Women are much better.

Multitaskers. This is the coolest study, Jason. When men go to a supermarket and they're like, all right, I have to get the yellow baking soda. They're going to go, I. You know, row by row, where women just. They can look and they can pull. We discern different. We discern different. We visually see differently. Does that make it better or worse? No, it just makes it unique. So I think. I think that's the piece. It's like, why can't we just honor the uniqueness and use that as the bridge and for building great things and living in a great culture and a great.

Society? Yeah. It's strange. This agenda with these big corporations and the media is hard to understand. But anyway, we're not going to solve that problem.

Today. No, we're not. Absolutely.

Not. How can people live a life of greater abundance, greater prosperity? You've got some teachings on that for sure, in your books. Tell us about.

That. Yeah, absolutely. So I came from one of 11, nine children, and definitely the scarcity mindset it. And so what is it, you know, money doesn't grow on trees. I mean, Jason, what was yours. What was your money story growing.

Up? Oh, there was A lot of money. Scarcity growing up, you know, save money, don't spend, don't borrow. Certainly money doesn't grow on trees. I've heard that before. You know, fool and his money are soon parted, which is still true, by the way. Yes, that one hasn't.

Changed. No, totally. Some of those beliefs that we want to hold on to, and there's a lot of them that are pretty.

False.

Right. And oftentimes like scarcity, prosperity is living in good luck or.

Abundance.

Right. And money's energy, more energy we have, the more we can give away. And I really had to learn that when I built my gold company because here I was coming from a scarcity mindset and all of a sudden I'm managing a multimillion dollar company at home with three young kids, flipping a grilled cheese with one hand and buying and selling gold in the open market with the other. So it was just a bizarre situation. And what I learned is that something had to give because my company wasn't going to. I still function from that scarcity.

Place. And what number, so what had to.

Give? Feelings of not being worthy. And this doesn't matter if you're a man or a woman. We are birthed into core beliefs that we can agree or disagree on, but we have to uncover them. 90% of our thoughts are unconscious. 90%. Only 10% of people focus on personal development or spiritual development. That's statistics, right? I'm like shocked by it. But then again, I'm in the personal development world, so what do I know? Right? But I mean, if that's what we're dealing, dealing with. Right. A lot of coaching is uncovering false belief and we do it by digging into like, what are you clear on, you know, how are you managing your energy? How do you define productivity and who are the people that you want to influence and why are you here? Like, what's your, what's your meaning? And obviously that's flexible and fluid. There's some new agey commercense around that. But really every single day are you putting your head on the pillow saying today I made a difference. And Jason, I know you do because you're, you're in the work and I just, again, I want to applaud you for that. Just based on how much you're outputting, it's pretty.

Impressive. Well, thank you. And you too. You know, I'd like to go back to this thing you just mentioned, which I think is just critically important, Kate, and that is money is energy. I have said that for a long time. It has a nature, doesn't it? And once you figure out that nature, it's kind of like figuring out a person. Maybe it's your significant other, maybe it's your kids or your parents or your employees or boss or whatever. Right. And once you sort of understand them, you can work with them much better. Right. But you can't work with them very well if you don't understand them. Right. Money is the same kind of thing, isn't it? Once you understand its nature, it definitely has a way about it. It has an energy. You know, you've kind of cracked the code to prosperity.

Right? Yes, absolutely. I wrote A Secret Psychology of Wealth and also Living Sexy Rich. There are two ebooks I'm releasing, but there is basic systems. One of them is more on just like, all right, what's your cash flow? But the other piece is.

Where'S the breakdown on your sense of worthiness that you feel that you're not worth it, that you either have to give it away or you got to hoard it. Right. And I think where I really saw that was I took my kids to Haiti on a humanitarian trip. I don't know what I was thinking, Jason. Three kids, Two like the most dangerous country in the world. A single mom like me and my girlfriend were.

Both. That was probably a wake up call for.

Them. Oh, my gosh. But what I'll tell you the most amazing thing was watching the wake up of my children. So here we are in a culture of poverty, abject poverty, nothing like I've ever seen. Important for them to see. And they're all white culture they were growing up in, right. And you know what they saw? Happiness. You know what they saw? Peace. You know what they saw? Family unity. You know what they saw? Little boys holding little babies on their hips as men growing up to be men. So I would say that was far more shifting for my children than the money or the services that we provided there. And I think that is a humbling experience for my children and therefore, from their mother's view, incredibly transformational for.

Me. Ok, so gaining perspective, definitely one of the steps.

Right? Huge. Yep. Absolutely. And I think honestly, I'd never be where I was if I wasn't working with the coach. It's like you need someone that's going to hold you to a higher standard, right? I mean, you hanging out with you being in the green room at a conference, you have to pay for your higher self. A lot of people don't want to do it. It costs. It costs energy. It costs resources to be to play a higher game. It just does. I mean, do you agree.

Jason? Yeah, of.

Course.

Yeah. And what you're paying for, you know, this is one thing you mentioned, you know, about having a coach or having, you know, being around the right people. Most of us didn't just fall into that. I certainly didn't. But, you know, once I started earning some money, I just bought my way in. I mean, frankly, that's the way you accelerate your growth. You just simply buy your way.

In. 100%. I love the.

Transparency. You go to that conference, you buy access to the green room, you pay. It's kind of a ridiculous price usually, because you're certainly not going to do it mathematically and say, well, let me see, in the green room at this conference, if I buy the elite ticket, they're going to serve coffee in there, so I won't have to buy coffee at the coffee bar. And they'll have snacks in there, so I won't have to buy snacks. And I get lunch included. If you did the math that way, it would never pencil ever. But what it's about is who you.

Meet.

Absolutely. Same with the.

Mastermind. Are you an extrovert? Are you naturally an extrovert?

No. I don't know. I definitely like my alone time. Other things on the nature of money, the energy of money, how to use it, how to channel it to live in more.

Abundance. Well, I think you hit the nail on the head. That really is the community that you build around yourself because you have to have some. Someone else holding that higher watch. And you are, you know, it's a cliche expression, but you are the five people that you're hanging out with. I grew up with very minimal resources, you know, and I had to reach out and I had to believe that there was something more for me than that. That's no easy task. So it's. It's having faith. The faith has to be bigger than the fear because, you know, sometimes knees clatter in, teeth clatter in to. To reach for something and being uncomfortable, a big piece of embracing. Listen, I compete in bikini. I'm in my 50s. It's like, if that isn't courageous, I don't know what is, you know, But I always put myself in that place of being uncomfortable. And I would say to all of you viewers and listeners, be uncomfortable. Be around people that make you feel a little bit uncomfortable. The comfort zone is death spiral. And that's all I pretty much. That's all I got to say about.

That. Right, Right. Yeah. No, I agree You've got to.

Constantly stretch and invest, you know, invest. That's why I'm part of the group and why I'm glad that you're in my tribe because you have your areas of expertise that I want to lean in on. I want to refer people to you. I want all of us to rise because we're only as good as all of us rising. And that's. That's really the ticket. Who are you here to affect? Who are you here to influence? Why are you here? You know, you got to discover that for yourself for sure.

So. So this may be a strange direction to just wrap up the interview today, but, Kate, I want to ask you, because you wrote a book about it about clean eating and fitness, and you're obviously very into that. Food is so incredibly important because it determines our mood, it determines how we feel, how much energy we have. If we don't have energy, we can't do anything. That's the currency of life. Right. We talked about the energy of money, but just sheer physical energy. Right? Tell us about your philosophies around. Around fueling our.

Bodies. Absolutely. So I've been competing since I was 43 as a bikini competitor, as crazy as that is. And it's. My father was a really great model of what it meant to live a life of moderation. And it's one area. Energy management is a place that I have high mastery in because I realize how crucially it is important and ultimately self respect, like, it begins at the lips. So if you know the way that you are going to serve this holy, crazy, unique vessel that you have, it has to begin there. I mean, there's a mindset to it and then there's a nutritional component. It's why I wrote Living Sexy Fit. I would go to a conference and I talk about prosperity and building, you know, a multimillion dollar company. People would come up to me like, oh, great talk. And they'd be like, how do you get those arms? Or what do you eat? And I'm like looking around going, what? Like, I just walk in body health. And it's not an ego thing. It's just. Just who I am as a person, because I know I'm here to be called for great things. I'm a warrior. And so I think that that's a big piece of. It is. Energy management is everything. Physical, emotional, spiritual and mental. Energy management and nutrition is absolutely.

Key. How about some specific steps there in terms of nutrition? I mean, there's a million different philosophies on this stuff. And whatever we believe today will probably be a different trend in 10 years or.

Not. Right. I'm not big into that. I, I don't pitch like the fasting and the keto and all of that. You got to keep your protein up. And I think it's very difficult to do in vegan. I know people do it. I think it's very, very difficult. I tried it. I never looked more horrible. So it's high protein and healthy fat and healthy carbs. 80% of it's clean, 20%. Enjoy yourself. Food is to be, to be used as celebration. You know, it's like bread is called the staff of life for a reason. It's a sensual pleasure. Food is wonderful, but how do we enjoy it in ways that honor our body, you know, honor yourself in the process? I think that's truly the most important.

Piece. Well, I think that's actually one of the things that's kind of a misnomer. You know, it's. It's retraining oneself and weaning oneself off of junky food, because high quality food actually tastes very good. You know, it's not, it's not like you're really giving things up, but you do have to retrain your, yourself with a new belief system. You sort of have to retrain your tongue. Right? And that's the same thing with money as we're talking about that, you know, there are just habits. And once you get into these good habits, you know, they're not hard, they're just different. You know, you get used to them and they're. They're okay. You know, it's not like you're making some big sacrifice all the time. Although I think it's the, it's the switch that's the hard part. Right? So if you have bad money habits, if you have bad food habits, if you have bad exercise habits, it's that retraining part that's the hard part. And that's what reminds me of Jim Rohn's great quote. The pain of discipline weighs ounces. The pain of regret weighs tons. And so you got to get through that first part. And then when it becomes just a part of life and a habit, it's not a hardship.

Anymore. And you have to understand that there's an intrinsic and an extrinsic motivation. I want to look good for this event, or those are only going to get you 20% of the way. You got to know why you want it. And it goes back to that. I can't give you the diet. What I can do is ask you some powerful questions that will get you to your why so that you can make that shift. Because it's a core belief no diet is going to fix. A false core belief is I don't deserve it. I'm always going to be fat. Whatever the story is that you hit rewind and repeat on, but I'm here to say you're worthy and you know it in your heart. If you're listening to this and you've listened all the way to the end, you know you are worthy and you know you want more. You wouldn't be listening to me and Jason if you didn't think so. So thank you so much for joining us today and playing with us in this in this crazy, amazing.

Space. Give out your website.

Kate. Yeah, right on. So it's kate-mckay.com Im Kate McKay on Instagram. My new book is Claim your Inner how to Live a Life of Courage and Embrace your Personal Power, available on Amazon, especially for men and the women who love.

Them. Good stuff. Kate McKay, thanks for joining.

Us. Thank you.

Jason.

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