235: Creating the Life You Deserve with LCDR Trina Martin, USN

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Welcome to the Heroic Investing Show, a podcast for first responders, members of the military, veterans and anyone looking to improve their financial future and gain some freedom with their time. We teach America's heroes and how to build passive income, build their startup business and safely grow wealth through real estate and other alternative investments. We help current and prior first responders put protections, systems and a team in place to help them build a life where they can focus on their passion, that service or product that they are uniquely gifted to share with others, making the world a better place for all of us. My name is Gary Pinkerton and I co host this show with Jason Hartman. This is episode 235. Episode 235. Today's guest is Trina Martin. Trina is a 30 year plus naval officer. She. Well, military officer I guess so. She spent some time in the US army and then converted over to US Navy and has spent several years as an intelligence analyst for the Navy and she continues that as a cyber intelligence analysis analyst in her civilian world. But she remains now today a reserve officer in the Navy and is very proud and excited to continue doing that work. What we're going to talk mostly about today though is about her successes and things she's learned over time. She wrote a great book recently called From a Mess to Seven Steps to Create the Life youe Deserve and we talk mainly about that topic and about what she has learned. She goes through her seven steps and I think you'll find it really enlightening. It's really consistent with everything that that I've talked to you about, everything that I've learned in my journey as I've gone through some personal development with a coach to continue to strengthen my message, to get more clear on what I believe is important and who I want as my ideal customers, my clients, and specifically what I want to do out there in the next chapter of life. And I think that's important for all of us. Everyone, in my opinion needs a coach, a paid coach. You know, someone who's not a family member, not someone who has their own agenda, but somebody who can objectively look at what you're doing in your life, what you talk about you spend your time doing, and help you put those breadcrumbs in life that you're leaving out there that are an indication of the path that you really want to be on, on what inspires you. They can help you put those together, and they can help you paint a picture from it, and they can help you hone your message so that you are going in the right direction every time. As I've said in many of my writings and on many podcasts, there's only one truly scarce resource out there in this world, and that is time. And the longer it takes you to figure out what your real message is, what you're on this planet to do, the longer it, the less that you're able to do.

Right?

Because we all have a limited amount of time, and the longer it takes to get there, the less potential we have to change the world with it. So I'm a big fan of getting that clear as soon as you possibly can. If you'd like help on who I've used, my great friend and coach, Tammy Brannan, I would gladly make an introduction, but there are many, many great coaches out there that are really good at their craft and they will help you tremendously. So without further ado, please enjoy this discussion and help me welcome Trina Martin.

Well, hello.

Welcome, investors. Welcome back and thanks again for joining us for yet another show today. I get the pleasure of sharing with you Lieutenant Commander Trina Martin. So Trina has got 30 years of military service and she's. Trina, thank you so much for joining us on the heroic investing show.

Thank you, Gary, for having me.

Of course. So you get to do some really long time in the military when you're doing it reserves and you're doing it as extra time when the rest of us have free time because you're also running a really, really busy day job and you wrote a book. So before we get into all of that, can you take us back, Trina, to how you joined the military to begin with and what happened along the way?

Oh, course. So I grew up. I'm the last of four children. I grew up in Chicago, and I had a verbally abusive mother. So that instilled in me the fact that I wanted to get away and do better for myself. And I knew college was the way out, and that's what I wanted to do. So I was the first in my family to go to college. I went away and realized that, well, I needed some help to finance my Education. So I decided to join the army. And I joined the army and in typical recruiter fashion, he said, oh, you know, he knows I'm a 19 year old struggling college kid. He said, oh, if you join this profession here, you get a $20,000 bonus. And I was like, wow, $20,000, what is that? He said, oh, being a chemical specialist and me being naive, I said, oh, wow, will I be a chemist? Will I be in a lab? He said, yeah, exactly. That's what you're going to be doing. Well, of course, you know where I'm leading with this. As a chemical specialist, I was going to be dealing with NBC, now they call it CBRN. And this was in 1990, right when, you know, Desert Storm kicked off and I got put on the list to go at the last minute, I didn't go. They said, oh, we don't need any more ground troops, you don't have to go. And hence, a couple years later I went over to the Navy because I said, you know what, this is for the birds. I don't want to be in the middle of chemicals and all of that great stuff. So went through all of that and have worked my way up the ladder from E1 all the way to Lieutenant Commander doing that. Now I'm on the tail end actually. My, my twilight and I have started my business speaking and coaching and that's where I am today. Nice. Got it.

And so where do you like big picture on where you speak? Or is it kind of across the country or do you have specific groups that you like to talk to?

I speak everywhere. Any and everywhere. My, my main topics are leadership, goal setting and personal development. Those are things that I love to speak on. And I like helping people create the life that they desire. But by living on intention and you being a fellow naval officer, you know that you have to be intentional in your life and the things that you do.

Yeah, no doubt, no doubt. So again, just to summarize, you had, what was it, four years, is that what you said? In the army and then the rest of the Navy?

About three years in the army and then the rest have been Navy.

Awesome. And so in your field.

Is.

Cybersecurity? Computers analyst.

So here's the interesting thing. So when I originally went over to the Navy, I went in as a radioman and radio men turned into it, which was fine because that's what I got my undergraduate degree in was computer science. Well, I said, you know what, I'm tired of being enlisted. I can be an officer. That's what I'VE always wanted to do. I want to lead. So now I am an intel officer.

There we go. Okay.

All right.

With a strong background and where that stuff comes from, where all the information comes from. Right, so.

Exactly.

Pretty powerful analyst, I would say.

Yes.

Nice. Okay, so you've compiled some of this and your lessons on leadership and the things that you talk about in a new book. Tell us about your book.

My book is called from a mess to seven steps to create the life you deserve. I decided to do this book because of one.

As I told you about my journey starting out, but I've made a lot of mistakes along the way. And I did it because I really didn't have a support system. So I wanted to get my stories out to help other people know that they can overcome that. Your past mistakes don't define you. So the book is for the person who appears to have it all together on the outside, but on the inside, they're a mess. The person who is starting to feel helpless and hopeless, and the person who is doubting themselves and wondering, is there more to life than what they've been living? So in my book, I have seven steps, and I start out with basically how to change your life. And it starts out with your mindset. Everything starts with mindset. So I go into talking to that about that, and I just go on into, like I said, leadership, goal setting, relationships. Because a lot of times people walk through life and they really don't try to foster relationships. And relationships are key. A lot of times people don't realize that if you just talk to people, a lot of times they'll be willing to help you, depending on what you're doing and where you're at. And that was one of the things I learned on my journey. I thought that because I really didn't have a support system coming from my family, that I had to do things alone. And I did a lot of things wrong in the hard way. And then when I realized that, hey, you know what if I just ask someone for help or if I just tell someone, hey, this is what I'm thinking about and this is what I'm doing, a lot of times people were saying, well, hey, you know what, I can help you with that, or I know someone who is in that area. So that's very, very critical, the goal setting. And one of the key things that I focus on, that I like to focus on in the book, is the forgiveness, forgiving yourself. Like I said, we all make mistakes, and sometimes it's the story that we tell ourselves that keep us from going forward in life. We think, oh, I've made this mistake, I've made that mistake, and I can't recover from that or I can't start anew. And I just want people to know that regardless of what your past may have been and how many mistakes you may have made, you can still turn it around and your life can be amazing.

It is really about the stories we tell ourselves, isn't it? It's also the stories we tell ourselves that keep us moving forward and reaching bigger goals.

I'm curious. I've spent a ton of time, a lot of effort in the last few years, and I've made huge differences in my mindset and my way of responding, reacting. No longer reacting, but responding to changes. And I feel like it's starting to take hold. I don't have the gut reaction to get mad when somebody cuts me off in traffic or, you know, I drop a plate and it crashes everywhere, you know, and so I only brought that example up because it happened like 10 minutes ago at all. I was like, okay, where's the broom? You know, so. So I'm curious, like, have you experienced that? Is it. Is it something that becomes a good habit eventually?

I have. And it's funny because our lives are formed by people, our families, and we don't realize that they have the. The power that they have and. And whether it's good or negative. So my mindset kind of was what my mother had instilled of lack and some of those things. Even though the trauma of my childhood made me very driven and made me become a type a person, a lot of things I was going, oh, well, you know, wow, that's not going to happen for me.

I've done this, so it's just over with. And then when I started realizing that and saying, nope, I'm going to change my mindset, I'm not going to think like that. I'm going to think like this. And now I'm like you. I don't get upset with the little things, and I don't think my life is over because adversity came my way. I start to stop, and I. I think about it, okay, well, this happened. What is the lesson that I'm getting out of this? Whether it was meant for my good or not, because life happens, and everything in life is either gonna propel you forward or you're gonna let it take you backwards. And my mindset is I choose to go forward regardless of what comes or goes in my life. So it's really how you look at things in your life is how you see things and how you choose to handle them. You, if you decide not to make a permanent decision over a temporary circumstance, you'll find out that life is a.

Lot more bearable and more fun. You know, and I think you said it very nicely there, that.

Every obstacle that's put in our place or everything that kind of, every gut punch we get that kind of sets us back, unexpected negative event that we label it negative, is really an opportunity to learn. And that seems a little Pollyannish, right? Like, ok, very cute. Like, you know, I lose my job, what an opportunity to learn, right? You know, but my. But you have to see it that way because the only way to stop wallowing in it and stop going backwards is to actually. The only way to go forward is a better way to say this. The only way to go forward is to learn the lesson which breaks you of the chain and you get to keep going forward at that point. Otherwise you're stuck until you learn the lesson.

Absolutely.

That took me a long time to figure out. It didn't take long to say, but it took me a long time to figure that out.

And it does. It takes a while to figure out. Because like I said, we're all programmed, whether we want to realize it or not, by our environment and our family, the people who have raised us. And a lot of times we let the things that happen to us dictate how we go through life. So it is, It's a hard lesson to learn.

It is. And I think that, I don't know, maybe not everybody is like, you know, like, I think one of the coolest state sayings is the Show Me State. Right. Of Missouri. Because after, you know, you get wiser with experience. Right. As you age. Right. But I think the reason, one of the main reasons for me at least, is that I've got so many examples, so many moving picture shows that I can run through of where, man, I thought at the time that was the worst thing that could possibly have happened to me. But think about where I am now because I learned that lesson, right? So you've got so many of these examples. Eventually when you get in your fifth decade of life and you say, yeah, gosh, that's actually. So then when you encounter something like that again, now you can look at it from the perspective that, oh, yeah, okay, I can calmly just go figure out the answer here and move forward because I now have these experiences that tell me I'm going to be better because of it.

Yes, yes, exactly.

So how often do you meet one on one? Are you in that role where you're meeting one on one with individuals and coaching them, or is it more of a group thing? And you know, through your book and through your coaching, I do both.

I do group coaching and I do one on one executive coaching. So if someone wants me to work personally with them, I do that. I have a week, eight week program that I will call and we'll get together once a week, whether it's on zoom or phone or whatever. And we go through. Because people not only want to improve themselves professionally as far as what they want to achieve next in their career, be it leadership, but personal development and personal development actually is the groundwork because you can't become a leader, at least not a good leader, unless you work on yourself. So that's one of my top pillars is the personal development.

And personally in your life, like, do you have a daily routine that you go through or weekly routine or anything that kind of helps you maintain that continuing to move forward, personal development on yourself?

You know what I do every morning I get up and before I get up, of course, I kind of take my time out to be grateful and thank God for letting me see another day. I go through my many little hit exercise to wake me up and then once I get that out of the way, I try to set my intention for the day as far as what do I want to accomplish for the day. And sometimes I make a list saying, okay, I want to get ABC done, you know, today. And I think that's how you do it. Some people, you know, it's like they get up and they just go, okay, it's life. However life takes me in, whatever road, you know, I get thrown on, that's the way I go. And that's really not how we were created to be. You need to have some intention and you need to set that intention for the day. So I try to do that and I'm always reading a book and like I have a couple of coaches myself, so I'm big into improving myself constantly.

Nice. Yeah. Most people who are performing at a high level do have coaches, right. And they're sitting in the front of the room taking notes, right. They have not arrived. I think.

The biggest things that can derail us or at least squelch our potential that was there in life is, I mean, it's entitlement, but it's really better way to say it is the arrival syndrome. Right? Like if you get to this point, like, well, I've, I've made it to that point I was searching for. And then you just coast. Right. You have to continue to grow. You have to continue to push really what the finish line is. Don't ever cross the finish line. Just keep pushing it out in front of you because crossing it gives you that arrival syndrome.

So what else in the book did we not cover that? There's, I'm sure, a few other topics.

Oh, yeah. So we did, you know, mindset, personal development, the forgiving of yourself, like I said, because a lot of times we beat ourselves up. That's exactly for the things that we have gone through. And I know I personally did it myself. I was going, you know, I'm so stupid. Why? You know, and we do that. We tell ourselves, we say, oh, you're so stupid for going through this. And then we fall into that pattern of thinking so negatively about ourselves that then other people come in and then they start to devalue us and they're starting to tell us how horrible we are, which compounds how we already felt. And that's what we really need to get away from. You need to forgive yourself. Everybody makes mistakes. You have another day to do it all over again. And unfortunately, some people see that mistake is so horrible that they end their life over it. And it's just. It's very sad. And if I could help one person to know that whatever that temporary thing is, you know, today. Yeah. You may think the world has fallen apart and you've been hit from every angle and you've gotten every punch that you could possibly get, but just know that it will pass. It will pass regardless of what it is. It could be, you know, something going on at the job. Maybe you're having financial difficulties, whatever that may be, you can overcome that. So forgiving yourself.

I talk about, in the book about just this goal setting. Of course, like I said, you have to have intentions. You have to set your goals. And then I talk about doing it, just committing to it, doing it, and being imperfect about it. And I think a lot of times before we go after our dreams or our passions, we think that everything has to be aligned so nicely. You know, we have to, you know, I have to have X number of dollars in the bank. I have to be at this place. I have to have so many clients before I feel, really feel like I'm validated. Well, do it. When your knees are knocking and your teeth are chattering, do it. Whether you have the money in the bank, there's never going to be the perfect time. That's like saying oh, I'm waiting for the perfect time to become a parent. There's never a perfect time to become a parent. You know, either you're going to do it or you don't. And you're going to take, you know, the road that's coming along with it. And I think being perfectly imperfect is what everyone needs to sit back and think about, because we. No one wants to just be a failure. Everyone wants to succeed. Everyone wants to do their best, but you're gonna fail. And if you listen to some of these big people, like, let's just say Warren Buffett, he'll tell you how many times he failed before he got to the point where he is. And failure is not a bad thing. Failure is what you learn from, is when you don't learn from those failures that you don't progress and get to the point where you need to be. But a lot of times, if you talk to some of the. The big names, the, you know, Steve Jobs, he's no longer alive. But at the Steve Jobs and the Bill Gates, people like that, they want to know, they'll ask, how many times have you failed? I love the show Shark Tank. I watched that. And if, you know, most of the investors that come in, they'll ask them, well, how much money have you put in? Or what have you done? And if you fail, and if they say, oh, you know, no, you know, everything's going great, or we quit when it didn't look right, nobody wants to invest in that person. It's the person who says, you know what? I lost all my money, but I really believed in this. So I started it again and I learned from my mistakes and I took a different route and I did it this way, and now here I am. That's what people want to see, and that's how we should view our lives. As you fall, you make mistakes. So what? Get up, Learn from it. Ask what did you do wrong? And keep it going.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. And again, we talked about earlier, the growth comes from the setbacks, and you made a great point there, that.

You.

Don'T wait to be ready, don't wait till it's completely comfortable before you take action on things. Because if you're operating from a point of comfort, then you're kind of going backwards anyway, right? You're not growing because if you're in a comfortable position, there's no growth occurring. So you got to. I don't know whose phrase it was, but it was worn out there for a couple of years about get comfortable being uncomfortable I think it's a great phrase, though.

Yes.

Because it's how all high achievers operate. They are not comfortable when they're doing a lot of the things that they're doing. And.

There'S another great point. Oh. So again, I think it's kind of in the if you're not going forward, you're going backwards perspective is that you have to have these morning routines. You have to have these periods where you're working on yourself nonstop, because like any other habit, and I think this may be the absolute hardest habit to create and maintain, and that is keeping a positive outlook and keeping positive messages that you're saying to yourself, right, that's hard. And I think it, you know, I asked you the question, like, does it ever become a permanent habit? I don't really think it does. I think it requires constant work. Starting with, you said the first moments you're awake, right? What you say you do, you. You have a moment of gratitude, right? That's amazing. That's important.

Yes, it's very important. And it just. It fuels. It fuels me that, you know, when I get up, okay, let me be thankful because it could be worse. You know, there's people who didn't wake up. So that's a great way to start your day. And like I said, in setting intention and just going back to your point, as far as learning, as far as I'm concerned, you never arrive. There's always a constant state of learning. And like I said, I'm always learning. I'm always reading a book. I have, you know, two coaches that are stretching me and saying, okay, you need to do this now. You learn, need to learn that you always. There's always something to learn. And even if I'm looking and learning and watching videos or reading books of other coaches and other speakers, it's all a learning process. You're seeing what that person is doing. And even though you may say, well, we're all speakers, you're doing the same thing. Well, no, you're not, because that person is doing it with their way. You're going to do it with your way. And there's nothing new under the sun. So somebody told me one day, they said, well, what you spoke on is nothing I've never heard of before. I said, okay, well, that's pretty much true. Yeah, it's probably nothing you haven't heard before because there's really nothing new under the sun. But I'm hoping that I gave you something that was a takeaway. And then they said, oh, well, yeah, well, you know, you said that thing there, and, you know, I thought that was a good point. Okay, well, great, because I have listened to speakers, and one speaker may say something, and it may totally not resonate with me, but then another speaker says something and I go, oh, that's. That's brilliant. And it's just the way that they said it or their mannerisms or whatever it may have been that connected me with that topic. Yeah.

I think it's also about timing. Right. Like, you know the old saying that when the student's ready, the teacher will arrive. And, you know, all these books on my shelf, like, I swear somebody came in and changed the words between the first time I read it and the next time.

Right.

Like, those words were not there because I wasn't ready to hear them.

Right.

Or I wasn't ready to read them.

Yeah.

Well, this has been fascinating, and like most of my interviews, it flew by.

Before I. You know, we end and I forget to say anything first. I greatly appreciate you being on, but I want you to let the audience know how they can get in contact or learn more about you. And we didn't even talk about your podcast. Tell them about that, too.

Oh, wow. So I have a podcast, it's called Trina Talk, and it's everywhere. You can listen to podcasts, but it's basically unscripted conversations I've had with people all over the world, whether it's leadership, entrepreneurs, business owners, and it's inspirational. So they talk about where and where they are today and some of the ups and downs they have gone through, and it's really. It's really inspiring. I have a new episode that comes out every Monday, and I have literally spoken to people all over the world. I've spoken to people in Jerusalem, and I have a big following, Australia, for some reason. But it's. It's a very, very uplifting, very positive podcast. So that's Trina Talk.

Cool. And your website.

So my website, where you can find me is trinamartin.com and there you can connect with me, whether it's for speaking engagements or if you want to coach with me. All of my information is on that site. And my book, From a Mess to Amazing Seven Steps to Create the Life youe Deserve, is out. It's on Amazon, Barnes and Nobles.

Books, a million Apple Books everywhere. Books are sold.

That's awesome. That's incredible. Well, Trina, thank you so much for joining us. And Go Navy.

Yes. Thank you, Gary, for having me. Hey, Go Navy. You know, it's.

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