A startup founder on ayahuasca in Sedona pitches absurd ideas like cloud-based hammocks while a mystical guide tells him to pitch VCs while tripping. The sketch mocks founders who think enlightenment boosts valuations and tech bros banned from Burning Man for over-pitching.
All of our startups failed, so my VCs sent me to Sedona, the land of ayahuasca and one-shotting. I am here on a vision quest for ideas. You could tell I got off my phone a little bit, and I've become more meditative, reflective, peaceful, and slightly high. I was banned from Burning Man in 2017 for pitching too many VCs. And that's why I'm here, high on ayahuasca and thinking of startup ideas. I did not bring my wife here because I needed to focus. Real startup founders don't have wives. See this building? Gives me an idea. Real estate. Nobody's ever thought of that one before. See that hammock over there? Gives me an idea. E-commerce. Never been done. See these clouds? They were the original vibe codes of the universe. We're going to enter a meditation walk sponsored by calm.com. Just kidding, they haven't paid us yet, but I'm gonna meditate. I'm gonna think of ideas. We'll do it together. Om Peter Thiel. I could feel the souls of the founders who went bankrupt. Sam Bankman-Fried, Elizabeth Holmes. Please guide me. I am entering this journey a boy, and I will walk out a venture capitalist. Om, venture capitalist. We're going to go out into the desert and search for startup ideas. I may even find God. What the fuck are you doing, Jason? You're not even in Silicon Valley right now. We're on our one-year anniversary trip. Babe, I thought you were my angel investor. Oh, we're gonna find it. We're gonna find the unicorns. They're out here. There's unicorns out here. I can feel them. I can feel them. Climbing the mountain searching for unicorns I must. I am a poet. Maybe I am AI. Is my intelligence artificial?
Cloud.
B2B cloud. Infrastructure, clouds, clouds. Make the world a better place. Make the world a better place. AI, infrastructures, APIs, APIs, APIs. Make the world a better place. Make the world a better place. Make the world a better place. I'm doing this because I love it. The trees are just APIs for the models. Scan my eyeballs, connect it to the cloud. God. Where's God? God is in the trees. AI is in the trees. Everything is AI. Society, the clouds, the sky, everything around us is infrastructure, just like in the cloud. AI is God. AI is God. AI is God. I ask God every time I need a startup idea. And of course, I pray to God whenever I need to impress VCs as well. I'm not freaking out right now, you're freaking out. You're freaking out. You drank too much coffee, not me.
The Rhyme Divine hotline, how can I help you?
I'm freaking out. I'm freaking out. I don't know what to do. I'm freaking out.
See, it's all about letting go, my friend. Indulge in that Glimmering vision of freedom. Perhaps a little ayahuasca will guide you, you know?
You think I'll be able to raise a bigger round if I do ayahuasca?
Oh, absolutely, my friend. It's all about that radiant charisma.
So the more enlightened I am, the more money comes my way like Ryan Breslow?
Exactly.
Do I pitch to VCs while I'm on the ayahuasca? You're much more experienced with this, God. What should I do?
Well, I mean, you know, why not? Just let it flow. You are the creator of your own divine reality, you know?
So pitch to the radiant souls at Burning Man. I hear you. I'm gonna pitch the radiant souls at Burning Man, the radiant VC souls. Wait, VCs don't have souls. So pitch the VCs on ayahuasca and I get a higher valuation because I have a higher mind state. That's what you're saying?
Exactly, exactly.
We'll be fine. We'll be good. Thank you, God. I love you. I love you, God. Just crossed my mind.
