I built Nature-as-a-Service for tech bros

My name is Jason Levin and I'm the founder of Nature as a Service. We take tech bros like you out into nature to experience the great outdoors and hopefully have billion-dollar ideas. I used to be a tech bro too, and then I got off my phone. I got into nature. That's what they call me. Today I'll be taking an Asian billionaire out into nature. He hasn't touched grass or a woman in 30 years.

Ah.

This is something I do with all of my customers. I ask them what do they want to get out of the— can you get off your phone? I do.

I—

you're paying for this. Don't you want to get something out of it? I ask them what do they want to get out of their nature experience. Okay.

Okay.

What do you want to get out of this?

I want to— don't touch my phone. I want to figure out how I can find peace in my heart so I can make more money.

Have you ever done a nature walk before or anything?

Does walking on a sidewalk in the Bay Area count?

No, no, not really.

Um, there are animals there. I don't mean homeless people, by the way.

You mean the BCs?

Yes.

What are the current biggest stressors in your life?

Well, we are going to do this like a huge product launch and it's just Stressful.

Have you tried launching on Product Hunt?

Ew. So about the payment, do you take preqs?

Only equity.

What?

Do you understand how valuable one walk in nature is? Bill Gates goes on a Think Week every year just to spend time in nature.

But he went to Epstein's Island. There's no nature there, only underage girls.

What do you think we're doing today? Today we're gonna be using an app called BrainRot. It helps you monitor your screen time and spend less time rotting your brain. My brain is already rotten from all the dank memes and Instagram Reels, but maybe there's still hope for you. Get off your phone!

No!

Are you firing your employees and replacing them with AI again?

No comment. I cannot say it. It's a union thing, you know? We also have unions in Asia. It's not just a California thing.

This is a bridge. It's like an API. It connects one side of nature to another side of nature. I know you technology brothers have never been on a hike before, But bridges are very essential for hiking. This is a stream because we're experiencing it live. It's like a livestream, you know, like OnlyFans or Twitch. It's like business. You're going to love it. This is a tree. It's like what you do to your coworkers at a Christmas party. See that over there? That's a bear.

Like, like stock market bear?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's a bear.

I don't like bears. Where are the bulls? Like the Wall Street Bulls. That's what I'm here for.

Oh, the bear's gone. You're safe.

I want to see bulls like the one in Wall Street. Is this a scam?

How are you liking nature as a service? Would you recommend it to your friends?

How is this different than I'm looking at like Windows wallpaper?

Well, I mean, we're actually outside in nature. It's good for you, the sunlight. You get your steps in.

Sunlight causes cancer. What will Bryan Johnson say? You know Bryan Johnson?

Yeah, Bryan Johnson.

I love Bryan Johnson.

He's actually the reason why I'm here, because I sent him explicit pictures of my penis asking him to increase the length of it, and then he sent it all around Silicon Valley, and that's how I became a nature guy. Are you enjoying your trip? All right, let's keep going. All right, it's time to smell the flowers, enjoy the peace and nature. Smells like money, right?

Disgusting. Smells like money? You don't know what money smells like, don't you? Oh, you poor bastard.

The VCs banned me from Silicon Valley.

What did you do?

So a lot of you are probably wondering why I became a nature guide. Thought that I had some successful tech career. I thought so too. I posted one too many unhinged memes. One in particular, I turned the B2B SaaS logo Ramp into a penis. They're funded by Founders Fund, which is like Peter Thiel and stuff. So they sent a Palantir drone to my house. So living off-grid in Colorado.

I've made a huge mistake.

God damn it. Did I just say Colorado? Fuck. Palantir knows where I live now. Yeah, I'm moving. I have been searching for Jovian for about 2 hours. He's been missing. This happens a lot with my tech clients. They try to rethink hiking from first principles.

So I've been strolling with this guy for like 3 hours and he just keeps showing me about like, oh, nature is like a SQL dashboard or something like that. I'm paying him $5,000 per hour. And this is what I get? This is water. I know water. I've seen water. This is a tree. I've seen a tree. Why is this? I could be like looking at my metrics dashboard. Fuck nature. Fuck Tarzan.

You know what?

I don't like them. Think about Tarzan. Like he lives in nature. Who was he fucking when he grew up? He was fucking monkeys. You don't fuck monkeys. I'm successful billionaire. I don't fuck monkeys.

I've had at least 1 or 2 billionaires eaten by bears. I'm not upset about it. Fuck the rich, eat the rich, you know what I'm saying? Hopefully we find him. He's probably having a mental breakdown or something.

Is there an All In Pod? No new All In Pod episode? What the fuck, Jason Levin? I need to create shareholder value. I need hockey stick growth. Hockey stick growth. Tell me. Help me with the dashboard. Tell me about the metrics dashboard. Come on, come on, please, please. Oh no, no signals, no data coverage. I'm going to die, I'm going to die. I can't lose anymore, can't lose anymore. No new podcast, no new podcast. I need to listen to Lenny's pod. I need product management pod. No new newsletter. No, no, no! This is so hard. This is like coding without AI. Like, I miss vibe coding. I miss vibe coding!

Fuck vibe coding! Today we are experiencing the vibes of nature. All these engineers talking about vibe coding, they've never actually vibed in their life. They don't know what a good vibe is. They say they're vibe coding when they're using Lovable. Are they actually even lovable? No, they're not, because they don't have good vibes, okay? All these fucking pretentious ass coders think they're inventing vibes, coding. I don't know what. I invented vibes. Alright, 2-hour hike done. You have a good time?

Eh, sure.

Uh, you're back on your phone again. I thought we talked about this. We were gonna spend a little more time in nature.

Do you take breaks?

I only take equity.

Sure, I'll call my secretary. [SPEAKING CHINESE] Done, happy? This is a very expensive trip, by the way.

Nature as a Service is now accepting applications for startup founders. I take equity, also naming rights to your firstborn child. But let's not, you know, be silly here. I know you're a startup founder, you're not gonna have kids. You're focused on the grind, I get it. Also, if you need a group trip for your team to think of ideas, just let me know. I provide the ayahuasca.

All right, Jason Levin Levin, good trip. See you soon.

Thank you. Wait, that's your house?

Yeah, I just live here.

Dude, that's like right next to the stream. Why would you hire me to take you on a trip?

Well, I haven't been out in the nature in like 20 years or something. And you're cheap, you know. I need a friend. You live right—

you literally live right next to it.

You feel like— I feel like you need it. Look, look, look what you're wearing. Alright, see you soon.