A speaker negotiates a 40% raise from Jason Levin to promote a fake app called Duofuck, then spends $300 printing flyers at a 7-Eleven and plasters them across the city as vandalism. He asks Levin for bail money with no regrets.
I was doomscrolling about Trump's terrorists when Jason Levin asked me to spread the word on Duofuck. But since I have no friends, involves me getting out of the house and doing physical work, I asked him for a 40% raise. Yes, I've read Robert Greene's 48 Laws of Power. That's negotiation, baby. So I went to 7-Eleven and operated this fancy fucking printing machine. An old lady behind me was waiting in line, looking impatient and ready to burst. Hey, maybe she should use Duofuck so she can curse me in a language I don't understand. The lady just called me a sad little bitch in Mandarin Chinese. Joke's on you, Grandma, I understand what you're saying. That's why you should download— By the way, this color printing cost me $300. All right, now it's time to promote this fake app and get back. Stick it to the wall, stick it to a pole, stick it on door of someone's home, stick it on a toilet hole. And that's 25 minutes of an honest day's work. By the way, I'm currently being charged with vandalism. Jason Levin, if you're watching this, please send me bail money.
