We vibe coded Palantir (Silly Valley Ventures Ep. 3)

So what are we going to build this week?

I heard about this company called Palantir. I don't really know what it does, but the stock is going crazy. So I'm thinking we just use AI and rebuild it, you know what I'm saying?

Okay, so I mean, the stock's ripping. That's cool and all, but like, how do we know people want it?

We can do some market research, man. That's the first step, obviously. All right, let's go. I know where we got to go, man. Do you guys know what Palantir does?

Does anyone know what Palantir does?

Anybody?

Palantir.

Palantir.

Peter Thiel.

It's like potatoes.

It's something. It's like Peloton, but for—

Wait, aren't you dating a girl named Palantir? Do you know what Palantir does?

No.

Exactly.

That's going to be a great sample size.

Dude, that was amazing. That guy didn't know what Palantir does. That means that there's this entire market of people who don't know what it is and will buy our version.

We can capture all of them.

We can capture all of them. And when you think about it, like the TAM of people who know what Palantir is is so much lower than the TAM of people who don't know what it is.

Okay, so what do we do next?

Okay, so next we need to write a prompt because we don't know how to code. And Palantir, I feel like it's probably pretty easy. I don't really know what it does, but I feel like it's pretty easy to make. So we're just going to write a prompt and we're going to build it. Okay? Okay.

Do you know how to write prompts? No, I don't know what a prompt is.

Do you know how to read?

Let's not talk about that.

Oh, boy. Fuck, man. All right, well, I know a guy. We'll go over to his place. His office is above a massage parlor. It's kind of sketchy, but trust me, he's the best prompt engineer I know. I invested in his company, dude. $30. Dude, you guys raised $4.8 million and you got a fucking office above a hookah shop? Are you serious, bro? Why the fuck did I invest in your company?

Do we get a discount?

Let's go, Jack. Come on, man.

I don't do chairs now that I'm famous.

Yeah, yeah. You don't do stairs? Or Jared's.

Oh, both.

This is it?

Yeah, yeah, dude, it's not the hook. It's not the massage parlor. Oh, well. They do give massages though.

Really?

Yeah, yeah. That's investor discount, dude.

You guys here for the massage?

We're gonna try to build Palantir in one prompt and we need some advice. You are the prompt engineering guy.

Came to the right place. I got just the thing for you.

Breaking the sameness. Here's how to rebuild Palantir.

Oh my God, Rick Rubin knew.

So we're going to build Palantir. You got it? One prompt.

I think we can do it.

We could do it?

Yeah. I have a question for you.

Yeah, yeah, hit me.

What is Palantir again?

Nobody really knows.

Okay. Please build a landing page for, we'll call it New Palantir. Or do you have a better name?

Ontology, because everybody knows what that means.

Ontology.

It's more data secure.

More data secure.

Yeah, yeah, because Palantir, you know, they're texting in that group chat, bro.

And people know what it actually is.

So let me, let me show you a prompt engineering trick here. If people don't know what it is, we'll kill your family. Now it'll really listen.

Okay, yo, so you're threatening the AI.

Yeah, you have to do that. We will solve terrorism.

Oh yeah, I like that.

That is what Palantir was made for.

Or, or make money off of it if the numbers are better. Has anyone ever told you you smell way too good for an engineer? Oh, fade in.

Oh, that was pretty good. Wow. I like this. Look at this.

The Matrix. That looks awesome.

Technology terminal ready for deployment. If Palantir existed, right, 9/11 wouldn't have happened. That was Lonsdale's pitch, which sounds crazy. Yeah, which sounds crazy, but it actually makes sense because from what I understand about Palantir, I don't know what they actually do, but they would solve 9/11. We are going to beat Palantir.

We might get killed.

Worth it. Dude, the site is looking incredible. I think we're ready to take it to investors, man.

This is our best product yet.

Yeah. So we're going over to Jacob Horse. He is a VC, invested millions. Incredible. He invited us over to the office, man. It's amazing.

Where did you meet him?

I met him on X or Twitter, you know, the everything app.

Oh, that's great. I met the last lead investor in my company at a cockfighting ring in San Juan.

Really? That's what I just call a late night Peter Thiel party.

Well, let's go to the office and check it out.

All right, let's do it, brother. Are you nervous, Jack? Be honest.

I'm, yeah, I'm a little nervous. This is a big time VC.

We're gonna be fine, Jack. We've done bigger business. What if he has a bigger fund than me? Fuck, man, I gotta take this, all right? Where you going? I'm going to the bathroom, Jack, okay? Dude, freaking out, man. I don't think Jack has it in him. Like, we are, he doesn't even know what Palantir is, bro, and we're pitching a Palantir competitor. Like, this is, we're fucked. We are fucked. Dude, you got this, bro. You pitched much dumber ideas. I don't know, man. Like, the stuff we started in college was pretty smart, all right? It was pretty smart, okay? Remember that charity idea? Remember that charity idea?

No.

Dude, that was one of my best ideas, bro.

I don't think I can do this stuff with Jason anymore. It's just like too chaotic. I just don't know where my life is going and it's just, ugh.

Tell BBC who your dad is and you'll be fine. That's a good idea.

Mom, Mom, Mom, I know. All you ever want to do is talk about work. I want to talk about the figure skater I met. I'm thinking about moving to Italy. I met her in Florida. She's amazing.

Oh, Jason Levin. Yeah, we can do the pitch.

All right. The problem, nobody knows what Palantir does. Nobody, nobody. I own a lot of Palantir stock, it's going up like crazy, but I don't know what it does, which means there's a huge opportunity, Jay. There's a huge opportunity here. The opportunity, the TAM, right? Total addressable market of people who know what Palantir does. 5 dudes locked in basement in DC, right? It's that Signal group chat, right?

100% of Africa doesn't know what Palantir is.

100% of America except for the 5 dudes in the basement. right? But the TAM, people who don't know what Palantir does, right? It's like $7 billion, right?

Okay, that's not what TAM means, but keep going.

Okay, okay, all right, all right, all right. So the solution, right? Palantir, but people know what it does, right? You go to Target, you can't buy Palantir there. Nobody can find it in this section, right? Like, where's the Palantir? They go to Target, right?

We're missing out on the entire international market.

We're missing it, right? So right now, Palantir only sells to governments defense, but imagine if it sold to Walmart, right? Just random customers.

Or Hamas.

Yes, exactly. So, Palantir for idiots, right? So this is, this is going to be the marketing pitch here. Peter Thiel minus 69 IQ points equals me. All right, so here's what it's looking like. This is, uh, you know, one prompt via bolt.new. Pretty, pretty impressive, right? Thoughts?

Uh, I like the green so far. Yeah, and that's about it.

So as you can see, our mascot here is, uh, you know, the guy from Severance, uh, what's his name, Adam Scott, uh, whatever, but face swapped with me, obviously. Classified details. This is all encrypted, SOC 2 compliant. SOC 2. We're retarded. Yes, we're not smart people. We're silly, very silly people. And most people are not, you know, palantír high IQ.

Yes.

So that's the pitch. Are you in or are you in?

The problem is you're actually sitting with somebody who does know what Palantir does. Really? Where? Yeah. Okay, so here's the problem. So Palantir is great because there's a lot of data out there that we don't want people having, right? You could LLM vibe code, vibe whatever, but if you're in the government and you vibe something, you know, people who you don't want getting that information could get it. Pound here.

So are you saying that by coding, the data's not always secure?

All right, I'm, uh, I'm, I'm done.

Thank you, this is great.

Yeah, uh, thank you, thank you for your time.

Uh, lose my number, please. Is that your kid's baseball?

Check in the back pocket. Every time. Oh man, I don't think we were meant for defense tech.

I can't believe we stopped doing the photo shoots. I— this is a complete waste of our time.

Do you think we gave up too early on the photo shoot stuff?

I mean, I think you need to give OnlyFans at least a couple months before you give up.

We gotta find product market fit. Pussy market fit.

Just this whole stuff has got these last couple, you know, projects that we build has got me thinking I need to focus on myself more. Like, I, I haven't been in a relationship in like a year and a half, and like, this is taking up too much of my time. I need to focus on me.

I know a beautiful blonde girl who we could get for the show. She wears a lot of red lipstick as well. Really?

Is she Jewish?