A comedian moved to NYC two years ago and wonders why the subway has poles but no dancers. He notes the dim lighting, no Wi-Fi, and the grim atmosphere, then confesses he witnesses or engages in public masturbation on every ride as a symptom of the system's failures.
¡Hola! So I moved to New York about 2 years ago, and I have one question that I still have yet to be answered. Why does the subway have poles but no strippers? There are men sitting down, many are wearing suits, they're already handing out dollars to people asking for it, right? There's no Wi-Fi, right? Right? And it's a little dark and gross. And on every subway I ride there's at least one guy jerking off. You know that for a fact. On every subway I ride. And I know that for a fact because I am that guy. Don't hate me. Hate the system. Because if there were strippers on the subway, I wouldn't have to be doing it myself.
