20030224 || Śrīmad Bhāgavatam 3.14.17 #JayapatakaSwamiArchives

And execute spiritual activities and the perfection of life. If, however, the husband is progressive in spiritual advancement, the wife undoubtedly shares in his activities and thus both the wife and her husband prophet and spiritual perfection. It is essential therefore that girls as well as boys be trained to discharge spiritual duties so that at the time of cooperation both will be benefited. The training of the boy is Brahmacharya and the training of the girl is chastity. A faithful wife and a spiritually trained Brahmacharya are a good combination for advancement of the human mission. Thus end the Bhaktivedanta Swami. Translation Purport to The Srimad Bhagavatam 3rd canto 14th chapter, 17th verse. In the matter of pregnancy of BT in the evening. Translation again O afflicted one, I shall forthwith gratify whatever desire is dear to you. For who else but you is the source of the three perfections of the grace. Thus Anisa brought you the good soul. This is spoken today on May. Today is the 2nd of July in the year 516 of our Lord. Chaitanya 2002 Christian year the Samurai Temple Nuchem so the wife was very much an anxiety and she wanted to have a child urgently, extremely urgently. She wanted to have a child without any further del. She pleaded with her husband and he's comforting her now. But don't worry, I gratify whatever desire is dear to you. So he's praising the wife. That wife is providing a basis for one's religiosity, economic development sincere. There's actually five perfections of liberation. The fourth is moksha or freedom from the material bandages. And the fifth is love of Krishna. So at least for the first three of the five, wife is very essential. He is praising his wife very much. If one man or woman wants to get out of the material world, then they have to regulate themselves and act in ka service. So the most difficult thing generally to regulate is illicit sex. You see, especially now Kali Yuga. In the modern society this illicit sex is quite common in everywhere. But as the people are getting more and more entangled into the material nature, despite having unrestricted sex life, not only is it creating spiritual obstacles for people and the moral degradation of society, it's producing things like unwanted children. I had a friend of mine who was very traumatized because his parents told him that he was an example. They never wanted him. Somehow the contraceptive didn't work. So you can imagine if someone grows up or their parents tell you, you know, come on, you were an accident. We had to stuck with you. You know, so you became like a criminal. It was a bad friend. One of the parents got me away from him. He was really frustrated because he was never loved in his family. So this type of unwanted children of our are created. It's a product of this unrestricted sex life. Then so much disease now. Someone just told me that 20% is either of Americans or American young people. I forget now 20% of one segment of society have venereal disease. Not only aids, but all kinds, so many kinds. We know that in Africa something like 40% of the people in some countries have AIDS. And it's a huge epidemic. I mean, they don't. It's totally out of control. And there's big science that the government has put up be celibate. It's like practice brahmacharya. But the people, you know, when they have the Kabul Chandravaran Singh, when he was on television, I said, well, how do you do it? So you can see here that actually somebody can be properly married. That's their best chance for limiting the entanglement of sex life. Maybe that's not the reason why people get married, but actually it's an opportunity to restrict them and limit it and control it, at least to one person and bring it into some kind of systematic program. If they can simplify their material side of life as much as possible, if they're not being bounced off between different relationships and emotional traumas, having a boyfriend, losing a boyfriend, looking for another one or girlfriend, then one goes to so much different kinds of trauma. And so all this distracts one from. Who can think about spiritual life. When you're lamenting about your boyfriend, your girlfriend, It's a very difficult situation. Of course, someone might be enlivened and to get into where you're at here for a while, if you get suffering enough in the mature world, then sometimes that's an impetus to go for spiritual life. So here Hassan is praising his wife. Having a good wife makes their life easier. For us to practice our spiritual life. It makes easy for us to be peaceful in a material sense, so that we can then focus our life on spiritual life. If things are too disruptive, then it's difficult to be spiritual. And too much pleasure is also difficult. So you need a kind of a balance, even praising is wife or this way to try to appease her that don't think so much, so much anxiety. Abdullah is trying to convince her. Just wait for some time. It's not an auspicious moment, but so first of all, he's crazy. Actually this Also shows it's a very good way of dealing with. He actually wants to convince her to wait. But the first thing he started off is he's encouraging her and say, don't worry, give me your hope. I'll satisfy you. You're very important. Allah has also been attention is that she should wait for some time. A few hours at least. Because it was the twilight. They said no, this is time to have a child. At that time, the ghosts are moving around in India. When it's a twilight, they light incense. All the shopkeepers assume light incense. Some glow conscious, they keep away the ghosts from their shops. The sunno entities in Mayapur. We also sprinkle gaseous water and frankincense. Close our clamshell pour off the buildings. It's like the mosquitoes. They come out when it gets dark. In fact, if you leave your windows open just after sunset. Used to be many masila enter my hand. It's usually the time when I close all the windows just like that. With ghosts, after a few hours they're already settled down somewhere. So this one that kind of waking up, you want to get them away. And after that. So he was thinking that this is not a good time for us to have a child. Because maybe the ghost enters into the or some demonic person could become conceived. So there's a whole science about how to have children. What's a good time? What's not a good time? What's a good day? Actually Magal has given a whole code wanting our children when they're trying to have a conceive a child not to have. On Ashtamis, the eighth day of the Awun. I don't know why these days, don't ask me why, but he says the eighth day is not good. Then the catalyses are good. The full moon day and holy day is not good. Different days are. I don't know about all the full moon, but some full moon days are good. Then certain days come from the time after the ladies menstrual period. And some days, so many days after Sadhguru. So many days after Sadhguru. There's the whole system. People want to have quality children. They can follow the system. They can chant on the day they want to conceive. They go to the temple in the morning. They pray to the deities for a Ka conscious child. They chant extra rounds of Japa Hare Krishna. There's a little ceremony that the husband and wife can have. This all together is called Garba Dhan Samskara or the sacrifice of ritual love. Conceiving a Ka conscious child. So Kasyapura wants to follow all these things to a certain degree. And so the first thing, it wasn't the right time. In order to appease his wife, first he's speaking some sweet words to her and encouraging her. Sometimes if we want to advise someone something, it's always better for us to show the person that we appreciate. If we just bark out and say that we don't appreciate, just say some heavy thing, like some rule or something, then people may become agitated by that, may think that you just don't like them. To make it very clear, his festival of talking to his wife in the very sweet words, Being in a spiritual movement where people, they work for free, nobody's. Very few people are paid. Many people are different. All the devotees are here. So they want to be. The main thing they work for is they want to be appreciated. They want to feel that what they're doing is useful in Krishna service. They want to do something for their spiritual development. So appreciation and kind dealings are very important. How important is this? Maybe very difficult to evaluate it. You know, even in our GBC meetings, it's a normal procedure that if you're going to say something critical about someone before you say that, you first praise the person, say all the good things so that it shows you know that you're balanced. You just go and say this person. People think, you know, maybe you're on a trip, maybe somehow you're not a balance. But if you first of all say that person also be very deeply hurt why he's commenting. So if we first balance it that this person has done so much service and seen in the body of Rahu women, and we really appreciate our woman who thinks but. When you hear the but and you know, oh, now we're in for it. Recently when he did what it's inappropriate. So the elders, first of all, they proceed with that. This is the normal procedure. So he's not going to criticize his wife, but he's going to tell her that it's the wrong thing. So if you just, you know, told her, chill out, who would, what's wrong with you? Grab Maya and you know, it's going to create some other problems. They're very gentle people. So instead he's bracing her and trying to convince her he loves his wife. So himself is, you know, the wife coming forward said, I want to have a child very attracted by you. So it's very difficult for him. At the same time, he wants to do it the right way. This also Shows even with him married life, one has to also we have a different kind of family planning to have a family in the right way, the right time, how to cooperate with each other. In Prabhupada uses this word here, cooperation. Actually a marriage is a cooperation between a man and a woman. So if they have a proper respect for each other, affection for each other, they have the same spiritual goals, then they can cooperate in a proper way for practicing their duties as a Vihasta. Vihasta life is very balancing all the time. Where and I was like Brahmacharya Sangha. It's like you don't have to balance things so much. It's much more black and white. There's a very clear line where we can go, what we can do, never be alone without a woman, things like that. Very clear language, very strict. So then one sense that makes our life a little simpler. Not everybody can practice like that. So in the Gihastras there's so many different shades, what to do and how to do it better. So it really requires cooperation. When Bhaktivedinotaka was asked what's the most important thing for a household or for a married person, he said the most important thing is having a Ka conscious spouse. Because different than Brahmachari or Sannyasi life where you're on your own, you need good association, a good environment. But ultimately you have to practice. You're on your own to practice. You can't blame anybody else. When you're a Vihasta, you're a king. Husband depends on the wife, wife depends on the husband. If one or the other is in a good position, it just creates a lot more disturbance because they're very much connected. So when somebody gets married, it's very important that they get the proper Ka conscious person who's also garner nature, which is compatible. Finding Ka consciousness, one of the major I think needs in Krishna conscious movement. In the Chopati temple they have a whole committee which helps to do that in different temples. They try to do this in an organized way. So even people just by working together, you may get attracted to each other, but they may not actually be compatible. All but many marriages are made in the kitchen just because of cutting subtitles together and handing the companion. And then after a while, you know, you become. You think, maybe this is the one you know, and just because we are together. But it may not that someone needs a little more objective vision. Maybe they don't even speak the same. So many factors. So that's why it was kind of a science how to choose who was compatible with each other. But it's also important in the previous verse when Didi is talking, she says, I well, wishing father daksha ask each of his daughters individually, who do you want as a husband? In other words, even though the marriages were arranged, it wasn't like the girls didn't have a voice in it. Arrangement just said the whole system of how they were when it was organized to the parents. But the parent asked, who do you want to marry? Who do you see as your husband? So it turns out she had 14 daughters. Thirteen other daughters chose the same person. They all said. The 14th said Shiva, number 13. So then accordingly he married all of them. He didn't ever accept Shiva. That's another chapter of bhagavad. So that's also important to note that even at that time they would ask the daughter, what do you think? In other words, the daughter or son had a veto power. At least in more cultured families they did. Living India 33 years now, I've seen this arranged marriage in practice. And I also saw like once I was visiting the house of one of our big donors. And then he said, oh, today is a very special day for us. There's a proposal for some young man to marry my daughter. He's going to come and meet her for the first time. Then after they meet and talk with each other, then they have to decide. We check the horoscope, we check, we think that they're compatible but they ultimately have to also approve. So this is the first meeting. I want you to give my daughter a blessing. So then they brought in the daughter. The daughter, she was like decked out with the ear, nose, ring, earrings. She was dressed like a princess or something. She could smell her from 30ft away into her covering. She was dressed to kill. It was going to be the poor guy when he came in, he was, makeup, whatever. It was all expertly done to make her as attractive presentation as she could be. Surprises. Usually women don't come before him like that. So he gave me like a little window, I guess for the poor guy, he's not. That's the only time he sees her. It's going to make. She was dressed like, you know when they do that, the miss America or the Miss Germany or something. I mean, I said, I'm sorry man. They have their ancestor, ultimately they have to approve. In this case, everybody knew everybody in the universe. This is the top society. Daksha was one of the top prajapatis and Katsyapa was one of the top prajapatis so they knew. They knew who was who. It wasn't like they just, okay, this is your first visit. Now you agree? She looked really good, but they knew and we liked him and we thought that he was going to be responsible for something. So she's presenting all these things. And my father was so kind that he organized and we've all been very faithful. I've been very faithful. So I want you to give me a child now. So this was the situation, very difficult situation. The wife forces the husband like that. Very difficult. In this case, Evie, she wasn't being controlled. She wasn't considering time, place, circumstance. She just was considering what she wanted at that moment. She was being very forceful and determined and clear and ready to fix what she wanted, but wasn't considering some of the fact that he was trying to bring it to a rational consideration about time, proper circumstances. So first he was trying to cool it down a little bit and talk to our basics. So Prabhupada said, it's important that we train the Brahmacharis and train the girls. This one thing, that clearing of Brahmacharya in celibacy is a good thing. But when somebody wants to go from Brahmachari life to Rehasali, there's a big difference. So there seems to be a lack of that type of training because maybe there's a lack of proper role models. Many families, they don't have a proper, stabilized family. For some people, they never saw what is a normal cooperation between their mother and father. So they really don't know. Some families, the wife was battered or mistreated or divorced. Different things. Sometimes they'll really have when they grow up and get married, and they really don't know what is. What is the proper way of dealing. This is something which some kind of prenuptial premarital training is offered by some religions, like Roman Catholics offer. I don't know what course they give, but I've been saying that this type of course, we need also at this time so that those who are changing their ashram and going for this new step in life, they get some preparation for what's ahead. It's like right now, kind of a shock course. They don't know what to expect. And all of them are always very surprised because Vihasta life is a very responsible life. Along with the facility to have some more enjoyment comes with it. A lot of responsibilities. To be a cooperative teammate is a responsibility to help maintain a family, to work together, to raise the children, even just to pay the Bills to act in such a way to encourage the other person and not discourage to be a positive influencer. All these things is like a big responsibility. And that responsibility is good for people. It can help one in a spiritual life, if you do it for ka even it helps people. I mean generally ill people become more stable when they get married anyway. But in spiritual life it can be helpful, it can be helpful influence. But then one has to take it up responsibly. One householder couple told me how they never knew what surrender was until they had a chance. And when they had a child and they found, you know, it's like this little baby is completely dependent on the parents. You can't leave it alone for a second. You can't leave the child alone. You always have to take any moment the child is feeling crying or something. You have to go and immediately take care. So they had to completely surrender whatever they were doing to the interest of the child. For them it was a big learning experience. They never use anyone else. You know, come here, I'll keep wait for a minute. You can't tell that to the baby anytime they do so that way they learned. But now we're learning what surrender is. Robert said having a baby is like worshiping a baby. You have to thank back here. So someone's going to invest so much time and energy for their whole life, you know, for 15, 20 years, 20, 25 years, you want to have the best possible basis you can to work them. You can try to make anyone ka conscious. But if possible, you'd like to have someone who was a devotee before, who's trying to finish up their spiritual life. And so they take it out very easy. That's why we do the ceremonies like darabada and samskara. So these are very important. Different points again here. Whatever ashram we're in, whether we're non married ashram or married ashram, we have to learn to be responsible for our own spiritual life. We know that we're not just body, but we're in a body and body has the needs and you cannot totally neglect those needs. We have to you give the body what it needs. But we do that in a ka conscious manner. And this way it's possible to control. Now if was married, then it's not that simple to have relations with the husband and wife. But outside of marriage, having relations becomes more and becomes worse karma. It may be very popular today, but it doesn't mean there's no bad karma. Meat eating is also very popular, but it's very Dark karma. Some people getting the instant reaction to some diseases or they may give the catch later. So that's why Kasyapa is appreciating that because of the good wife. Therefore I'm safe in so many karmas because of you. I'm able to practice my religious life, my economic development, my getting the comforts of the home. All these things. So he was appreciating. He is a very wise person. He's someone who's meditating. He has mystic powers. He's not ordinary person. He's not also able to remain completely silent. It's not that he's just. But he was a very religious person. So he avoided social activities like being married and having a wife. It wasn't simple for him to have relations. But it doesn't mean also that he was free from the loss of the so he was worried that if we have a child at an inauspicious time we may get some kind of inauspicious child. That's actually what ultimately what happens. This is leading up to the birth of Yurani Kasipu in his wife. How he wasn't so receptive to all his words but his strength. The duri of an husband to preach to the wife. Sometimes it's duty of the wife to get good counsel to the husband. It doesn't mean they all. But if the partner does their duty like there again Krishna conscious influence. Then if the other partner does some power then you're not really responsible. You may be disturbed by the results. But at least you did your part. So this is very practical advice that's coming out here. Examples none of us are irrelevant to the repressive date the Prabhupada came the West. He was surprised how many people just live together and how many people get married. Many people don't get Sahuas and he organized that people will get married In India they preach to people to be sannyasis or to be renounced. And for him I was preaching to people living together. You're married. Get them to be the morning's practice. That was like a big step forward to be responsible. Any. Are there any questions? Yeah. What I want to ask you if it is possible and how to stop these sexual desires which is hard. How to stop because it is the cause of ambiguation. All about spiritually becoming very dense. As long as you're in the material world the desires are going to be there. But how strong they are reduces. Sounds like you have a little itch or something you can tolerate comes on you Like a tiger attacking you than the king. Since Tatsu becomes developed a higher spiritual team so that his face are not. You're not dependent on that for happiness, then you can control that. So what's important is to develop higher spiritual taste and to always to control the mind. The Bhagavad Gita explains that the mind how it works. First to meditate on an object of the senses. To meditate on something that I I want that I like that I want it. Then you get attached to it and you want it more and more and it becomes like an obsession. Then after a while you become very lusty for it. And then you start to really to take action to get it, whatever it may be. In my case, it may be maybe somebody wants a car or a Toyota. But if you don't get it. Some of these studies that children are good business. If you can attract a child. While the TV shows they go to the parents and say I want to go to Disney World, I want to see, I want to go to this movie, I want to have this toy. And then the parents tend to do what the children want. So now the advertisers are aiming at the little kids. They may be aiming at a 6 year old or a 10 year old to go and tell tell the parent that I want to be Gatorade or I want to do whatever the particular thing is that they're marketing. So then if they don't get attached to thinking about I want this, I want this. And then if they tell the parent you know I want it, maybe they're spoiled kids. The parent says oh, that stupid thing you shouldn't have. Then you start crying. If you're really kidding. If you're older, then maybe you don't cry, but you look sad and get up sad. Okay, okay. So you can kind of see how it goes through the crystal meditating this thing is then that's accident. The last I have to have it. You can't have it. Then anger when you don't get it. That from anger, illusion, depression, depending how much attachment you develop for something. Some people they get so frustrated they commit suicide. I mean, I don't think all the little things, but always some big things. Depends how obsessed they become over something. So we want to by keeping your mind off of thinking of something when your mind's right from the leap. It's easy at the beginning. You have to take your mind off of the object. Don't get attached to thinking about one person or Buddha talking about a particular type of sanskara if you bring your mind back to Ka engage in some ka' circles. So in this way you can start to control the mind. By controlling the mind, you don't get into the more intensive. Just that momentary thought is not going to be entanglement. But when you start to really get attached to an idea, that's when it becomes difficult. When it goes from attachment to lust, then it's more hard to control. And when your lust is frustrated and you get angry, then you're totally out of control from injured. Then you go madness. And you never decide distracted. You can see that very deleting little children because you know they don't have sense control. So that's you need to side by side control the mind. And then once there was one devotee came to Prabhupada. So Prabhupada. Now I was in my house, sitting in the room as child ministry. I don't have any more sex desires. I'm not at all agitated. I completely created. And that father looked at him and says what's wrong with me? You have some disease because it starts with softness. Sex desire is something natural. You need to learn how to deal with that. There's no alternative for developing one's spiritual taste. Just being married isn't enough. Because one can go totally out of it in marriage. Also if you don't have any spiritual basis. So that way you don't lose the consciousness. So that you can control your senses. Decide when you want to do things balance those. Because the higher taste in the ka consciousness is like the karma and a nuclear reaction cool things down. When somebody is very advanced, when they're totally liberated that Krishna flame and no more material body. Then they totally sense sex destroyers. Otherwise it may be there, but it's like there was in Vajamunacharya. I said when the ideas are sex came in his mind. He made his face became very sour, spit out at his sour problem. When they brought the point that the thought came in his mind. I believe he was a great devotee with a little abiding alba. But when the thought came in his mind, he did, he reacted and made it away. For example, it's not hard when you're fully attached to Krishna. It's not hard. But it doesn't mean that the possibility is not there. It's part of the programming of the body invoked that it's there, it's normal. Some are very advanced plate. But its possibility is there. I mean, because now modern science. I read some articles. It says that the human body is designed in such a way all the other bodies that it's sending out some kind of hormones in the air. So the female body is sending out hormones and enzymes when they get close to each other. Then it's like there's some sensory. Automatically the body starts to produce different hormones to get a person sexually excited. So they say when you give spiritual advice to someone from the opposite sex and it's basically one meter apart. But no, I mean, if you listen, if you look on Internet, there's all kinds of articles about Veda research and how the bodies automatically make one. Even, you know, you may not. It's not even a conscious thing. It's a physical, automatic kind of regress that comes especially when people have young, healthy bodies that the old people can also be living in the mind. Especially the young bodies that are producing cancer hormones. So that's not to be agitated. It's not like a big sin or something. Or if it's not a sin at all, it's just a magic reaction that can happen. But how one deals with that to take the mind off of that, to chant. Then the one thing that becomes spiritually focused again, which is something we're going to have to learn to deal with. And the more you chant, the more you become believes it will affect you. Eventually you hardly feel any effect at all. Maybe a stray thought here and there because of all the things that are advertised something you can deal with very easily. The maybe someone is finding very difficult to control the mind. And maybe I feel very insecure. Sam THE It Sa Ram Ram Sa It Ram Ra Ra K Sa Ra. Thank you for watching our videos. Be sure to subscribe to our channel. We publish new videos every day. And don't forget to like and share our channel.