Lava-Mātra: A Moment with Jayapatākā Swami: HG Vrajasevinī Vṛndā Devī dāsī #JayapatakaSwamiArchives

So like it said, Hari Anant, Hari Kath. Similarly, the glories of our Guru Maharaj, it's very difficult to frame it in words. But yeah, since I got this opportunity, I would just say a few words. So my name is initiated name is Vajasevini Vinda Devidasi. And the first time I saw Guru Maharaj was in Ilbs Hospital in Delhi. So that time I didn't know him that just a few of our Godbrother and sisters, they said that, Mataji, we are coming to Delhi. So could you just arrange for our Vasadam and all. So that time we didn't know much about Guru Maharaj. That was the first time I saw him there. He had come for his liver treatment. And the time I saw him, like I was having all goosebumps. I felt that, yeah, he is the one who is my father. I mean, with whom from so many births and births I have a relation and. And now I found him. And Guru Maharaj is so humble. He's so cute. I mean, he just looks like a baby. Anything you get for him, he's like a baby. Oh, where is that? Where is that my devotee got for me? And I mean, unmindful of his own pain and own suffering, he just keeps on taking our karma and, you know, delivering us. Just like Netananda Prabhu, he's so merciful. Like when I was going to be initiated, I mean that this is the same two visits after this one I was going to be initiated. But that time I didn't get initiation because it was my board exams and I had not completed the first canto of Bhagavatam. A little bit was left. So Guru Maharaj said that since you are educated and you are a girl, you should complete it. And then they. I got very sad that time that okay, just one Bhagavatam, I'll complete it after my exams. I said, guru Maharaj, I promise I'll complete you. Just give me initiation. But whatever Guru Maharaj does, it's always for our benefit. That time, I'm such a fallen soul. I couldn't understand what's behind it. But actually he had to initiate me in Vajra and make me a Vajrasi. So he said that don't cry, don't feel bad. You even if you tell, I'll give you online initiation. Because I was like, how will I come to Mayapur because it's difficult for me to travel. And he said, don't worry, I'll give you online. I'll Give you on phone. I said, guru Maharaj, how will that happen? He said, don't worry, that's my work. I'll do that. And then Radharani and Guru Maharaj arranged it in a way that I got initiation in Vrindavan. So that time I didn't get any fish in. That was nothing bad for me. That was for something even better. So anything that happens with us at that point of time, we think that, oh, what happened to us, we did not deserve that. But Vadhani and Guru Maharaj are so merciful that they always do it for something better. Which we being souls, material body, we don't understand. We can't see it with these eyes. But it's them who have, you know, we say, I have hundred plans, but their one plan works for us. And even now, I mean, we being devotees, we should understand and, you know, very strictly follow all the regulative principles and do japa and everything. But we, we are so fallen that we keep making mistakes. But we don't understand that all our karma goes to our Guru Maharaj. Like so mercifully, he's just taking it away all on him. But the suffering, when you live with him, when you are close to him, then you see how much he suffers. He gives still, he keeps talking, he keeps smiling, keeps laughing. But, you know, when they pull him through the plank, his eyes just go up. He cannot feel anything. He feels like, I mean, if it happens to us, I don't think we would even be able to speak a word or do even one round of Japa. But our Guru Maharaj, even when he got his liver and kidney transplant, he was in icu. So obviously he couldn't chant because he was in sedative. The moment he came out of the icu, maybe we would not do that. We would drifting, oh, I have got this pain, that thing. But the first thing he started doing was Japa. If you see in the morning, he gets up, the first thing, he won't think, he won't look at anything. He just take his counter and start chanting. Even it was yesterday only morning time, he just took his counter and started chanting. Now one of his servants, he just put the counter that, wait, I have to check your this thing. And he was like, give me my counter, give me my counter. I'll do chap. He almost went crazy without the chanting. I mean, we can't remember Krishna for maybe two minutes. And he is a person. He can never forget Krishna. Just like the Gopi, we feel that, we strive that, okay, one minute, we Think of Krishna. One minute we can cry for him and he is like Guru Maharaj is like a person. One minute he cannot forget him. So that's the. That's the mercy and that's the glory of Guru Maharaj still there. You know, even in Kalyuga, there are incarnations and expansions of the Lord whom we don't know. And our Guru Maharaj is truly an incarnation of Nithyanand Prabhu. Like in Dwaparayuga. Nobody knew Krishna was with them. But people hardly knew that he was the supreme personality of God. They considered him a normal cowherd boy. Oh, he is a Guala. He is a Chaliya. That's what the Gopis said. He was ancho and what all words they used to call him with. But that was their love. But they hardly knew. It was the bliss that they felt with him. The love that they felt with him that gave them that, you know. But nobody knew that he was the supreme personality of God. And today our Guru Maharaj is with us. He is actually Nithyanand Prabhu. But it's we who do not know him. You know, we cannot understand that Guru Maharaj is Nithyananda. That's why some of us may consider him to be a normal person. But he is not a normal person. He is actually Nithyanand Prabhu. And he is so merciful like Nithyanand Prabhu delivered even Jaggai Ma Dai. Shame. Our Guru Maharaj. He does not think of himself. All our karma goes to him. When he gives us initiation, when he gives us that mala, it's a new birth for us. And all our karmas goes to him. And even after that we keep continue doing bad karmas. We do not realize that. Okay, now it's her new birthday. Now all our karmas will go to our Gurudev. He will suffer for it. It's not us, but we're unmindful of that. We just, okay, just do anything. But we must understand that Guru Maharaj is being merciful on us. And we also have a duty, an obligation towards him. If not with love, but at least like duty, we should make sure that we chant the holy name properly. We don't do any offense towards the holy name of any Vaishnava. And follow the four regulative principles completely. Like without any fail. Sometimes we think, okay, today I'll do something, tomorrow I'll send two more rounds. But that's not like that. All the karma goes to our Guru Mahaj. So it's a humble request to all our God, brothers and sisters in the world that please be very careful while following all this. Our Guru Mahj really suffers a lot. When you see it closely, then you realize the pain he'll give the class. He's laughing, he's saying hareem. But that when he lifts his hand, the pain is felt by his body. We cannot see that every now and then he speaks, he'll put his finger there. It pains when he speaks. So the suffering he goes through, we must do something for him. And if not the 16 rounds, at least one round more of Japa every day. All of us must do for Guru Maharaj. He does so much for us. We can chant at least one more round for him every day. So yeah, I mean his glories are endless. I mean I am a fallen soul. I don't know what can I even say in his glorification. But I really pray to Guru Goranga that I can and Krishna that I can serve my Gurudev and we all can serve him, serve Prabhupada and take Chaitanya Mahaprabhu's mission forward so that each and every person in this world has Hari Nam on their mouth and each and every person feels the ecstasy and can feel the presence of Lord in this world and can serve our Guru Maharaj.

How you met the devotees and took the decision to take initiation by Guru Maharaj?

Okay, I mean how we motivate them to take initiation by Guru Maharaj and.

How you met the devotees or you are born in devotees family.

My mother was always a devotee. So like from when I was born, from that time only I used to have Krishna prasadam and but not a particular devotee initiated discount devotee. But normally she used to pray to Krishna, go to the temple and we used to offer for prasadam to Krishna and I would read that only when I was in her womb. She used to read Bhagavatam, Bhagavad Gita, Ramayan. But I got completely devoted to Iskcon. Once it was Govardhan Puja. So for that I went to. I'm from Delhi. So I went to Radhapad Shaki temple that day. And that day I was new, so it was a long queue of prasadam and I thought okay, it would take a lot of time because I had seva at home. So I was going from there. Then one Prabhuji, one senior Prabhuji of the temple, they stopped us. His mother is in bakery in Iskcon. So they gave us prasad and Then they told us about Iskcon. They preached. I used to go to Iskcon but not, you know, so deeply. I was not connected. And from that day I got connected to Iskcon. I kept going to Radhaparatasarthi. And then once I came here to Vrindavan. That was one day before Akshay Trithya. So that day I was in a normal suit and kurta. But in Vrindavan, if you want to do Chandan Seva you have to wear a saree and proper Gopi outfit. So one of our God brother, one of our God brothers, Divyadarshan Govidas. He's a Pujari and he makes sweets for the Lord every morning in Mangala Aarti. Our Lord eats those sweets only. So they get up with his sweets and he dresses Radha Sham. He's Radha Sham from the Pujari. So he told us that Mataji that if you want to do seva you have to come in a proper outfit like saree. That time I felt bad that how does the outfit matter? It's just a normal kurta, pajama and normal clothes. But then he explained us that what is the glory of the outfit and how does it affect our seva? You know, it gives you the same bhav. If you're in a Gopi outfit, the Gopi bhav comes to you. That okay, I'm Gopi of Krishna and I'll serve him like a Gopi. Even the outfit, everything affects Sadh. But it's a very minute detail. We don't understand that. Then he said, okay, today is the last day, so you come in the evening. So we came in the evening and I granted Chandan. And after that he told us, you know, Katha has been stories of Vaja and of devotees and my God, the bliss that it gave to us. Whenever he used to speak, not one Katha that we won't cry like crazy. He would never leave us without crying. And then he told us about Guru Maharaj. He told us one katha about Vaja Gopis in which Shamshunda gets fever. And the Gopis give the, you know, the Chavan Dhul unmindful of okay, I'll get hell or heaven or what they said, we just want our Shamsunder to be fine. So that love that you know, that craziness in the Gopis for Shamsundar and for Vrindavan. And in that Prabhuji, he said, whatever happens, I will never go out of Vrindavan. His love for Vrindavan, it Made us attached to Vrindavan so much. So that was how we got attached to Vrindavan. And then once you come to Vrindavan, even if you don't pray, sleeping in Vrindavan is like Samadhi and you don't do anything. You're not sincere or dedicated towards Vrindavan, but the Dham that shows its prabhav on you. So slowly and gradually we kept getting involved in the Seva and then that Prabhuji kept reaching us. So yeah, with the mercy of our Godbrother and obviously our Guru Deva Radharani, we got connected. And then one fine day, all the devotees, because we were in Vrindavan and they knew we are from Delhi, they said, mataji, we are going to Delhi like I told you before. And we said, okay, you please have Mashaad at our place. So we prepared all Bengali items for the first time because most of our God brother and sister are Bengalis. So for the first time I cooked. And yeah, that's when I started cooking. So yeah, then I went to the hospital with them. And that was the first time I met Guru Maharaj. And then nothing to say. It just, you know, it's such a deep effect on us. Yeah, he is the one. That's it. That's how we got to get initiated with him. That day I took Ashle. And then two years after that, any fish?

Could you tell us if you saw Guru Maharaj relating with some of his godbrothers or God sisters how you saw Gur Maharaj behavior towards them?

Guru Maharaj's behavior towards. Oh, he is. Oh, my God. He's an ocean of mercy. He won't eat, he won't need any comfort. But he'll make sure that first his sons and daughters are in comfort. Every day he would pray for us. We don't know, but every day he chants rounds for all of us. We might not do for him, but he chants rounds for all his children. He always prays. You know, my father was not well when he came, so he prayed for him as well. I didn't know that he knows that. Yesterday I met him personally. So he said, oh, he's so humble that I came here. I caused you discomfort. No, your father got unwell and I'm like, Guru Maharaj, you gave me discomfort. It is the biggest fortune, the biggest mercy of my life that you came here. And he's so caring. Every day he chants and prays for us. And he considers all of us like his own children. First thing he would see that Okay. I might be in discomfort if I go anywhere. But his servants, they should be in comfort. First they check. Okay. Mahavya Prabhu got that. Madhur Khan Prabhu got that. All my servants got it. He might not get no problem. But first he'll take care of them. And anything he does, he does with their permission. It's like if they don't want him to do something, he won't fail anything. Okay? Okay. Okay. Like a kid. So it's very loving. It's like completely an ocean of mercy.

Can you tell us how you see Gurmaraj following Srila Prabhupada's distractions?

The main aim and the foremost goal of his life is following Srila Prabhupada's instructions. Maybe we are all hale and hearty, but we don't do anything like that. But Guru Maharaj's dedication and devotion towards Prabhupada is such that he has a whole list of things that Prabhupada has told him and he wants to complete. So he keeps tick marking it that okay, this time I finished one thing. Now I finished one thing. And now also he is making new temple in Mayapur. That is also a part of what Prabhupada told him. So once he said that unless and until I finish all the instructions given by Prabhupada, I won't even leave this world. Prabhupada told him to make a set number of disciples. And he has surpassed that much more than that he has made. And then the temple, the book distribution, preaching all programs. Even in such physical hardships, he is traveling here and there unmindful of his own bodies. All his dedication towards Prabhupada, towards Mahaprabhu, it's all his dedication to take this movement ahead. The day before, maybe in the class he gave in Iskcon Vrindavan, he said that it's my dream that each and every person in each and every house, they say Hareem Bol and Hari name. You know, it just keeps going in everyone's ears. And there's no person who does not chant the holy name. So it's all his dedication towards Baiupal. He's so devoted. He's so. His dedication is just. No words for that.

So if you have ultra another memory, you can tell us. Otherwise you can.

There are so many memories about Guru Maharaj. I mean, it's even difficult to frame in this one conversation. But what to say? I fall short of words for him. So many memories. He's just like A kid once I went to Vyadhapaltari temple. So I had taken the dust off the hooves of the cows of Vrindavan. So I was much behind. And I told one servant of them, of his that I want to give this dress to Guru Maharaj that time because they have to protect Guru Maharaj. And I was new that time. So they said, no, no, no, no, you can't give now. We'll see later. And Guru Maharaj was so far, he did not even see me. And he just told one, oh, call that girl. She's got the dust of the hoofs of cows of Vaja. And I'm like, how did Guru Maharaj even come to know about that? He didn't even see me. He didn't listen to me. How is that even possible? And then my hands were just shaking. It was winter time. He picked up his cap and he was showing. Put it here. And I mean, I was very small that time, and my hands were shaking. And I'm applying it here. I can't even explain how I felt that time. I mean, there are so many memories of Guru Maharaj. Once we were cooking in Radhapal Shalti. My mother was cooking. Guru Mahaj was going from there. So we were inside. Mama was inside the kitchen.

And you know, chef, we are saying, guru Mahj, I am putting my own love here. Remember, he says, I am Anatma Anuradha Devidasi, mother of Vasivni Vrinda Devidasi. I am just continuing in between that time, we were cooking for Guru Maharaj and packing his stiff. He was about. He was just about to leave for Mayapur. Mayapur, right.

Yes.

And then I was saying, guru Maharaj, I'm begging all my love. When you open the tiffin, love, you see the love. And then all of a sudden, Guru Maharaj came out of his room and said, knock, knock, knock with a stick. Oh, Guru Maharaj is going. Then I ran. And what happened? Everybody was there.

You know, when Guru Maharaj is there.

The whole crowd, whole world is around.

Guru Mahj went inside the lift.

Everybody ran. And I was the last one. And I thought I missed the opportunity to see Guru Maharaj. Then on the left, Guru Maharaj said, anuradha. And Guru Maharaj, everybody is looking at me.

Who is Anuradha?

So we were nothing. Nobody knows us. We are no what we are what we say. We have no pay.

I mean, we were just like orphans. When Guru Mahaj gave us an identity, he became our father. Like, we were alone in this Medieval world. He is the only one.

Now we are. And now we came to know when Guru Mahaj came here and that vibrations in his house.

Oh, his house.

And we came to know. I mean, no words. No words become the vibrations. And this is my goosebumps. Because Guru Maharaj is Guru Maharaj. No words for him. He knows everything. He's so humble.

So humble. Yesterday when we went down, yeah, I shared the same thing. All the memories are same. We are. But really, I could never even think that in this life I get a father like Guru Maharaj. But yeah, he just changed our life. We were completely orphan. And I don't know, he gave us an aim to live the meaning of life. Everything we got from him. He's such a big inspiration for people like us. We don't really do anything. And he's completely above the bodily level. He'll not think of his. We get a small, small cut. He says, oh, it's failing. It's failing. And his whole body, there is no part of his body. There is no pain. But he is still. Yesterday he said yesterday in the class that okay, keep serving Krishna whole day so there is no chance of Maya. And we whole day we are in Maya. We just find 1 hour, 30 minutes. That okay, this time we will serve him and Guru Maharaj whole day he is in the service of Krishna. So that's our aim of life. That all of us should be engaged completely in Krishna's service. And yeah, get Krishna Prem the ultimate goal of her life.

The last class, Guru Mah saying please prepare. We all have to go to Godhead. If you people don't listen, then I have to take birth again and again.

He said that Vrindavan is a tapo Bhoomi. We are here for doing tap and for tapasya. And he said that this is Kali Yuga. The main Tapas says that we read Prabhupada's books. He knows. No. His kids are so naughty. They won't do anything. Not the part. Cup of tea. But yeah, at least with Prabhupada books, that is the main thing. And then you are. Because death can come anytime. Anytime. We have to be prepared for the exam. And that's our preparation. Like in our board exams, we say no, read ncert. NCRT is the bible. Similarly, for this exam, Prabhupada books are our bible. We have to complete them.

See, Prabhupada also told this world is.

Not good for gentlemen.

We have to. We know we are not gentlemen.

But yeah, we have to. I mean it should be our goal of life that this birth only not in the coming births. This birth go back to God and get Krishna prayer and get his service.

And we see Guruma suffering a lot. I pray to all and myself because I am the worst person. We should follow all the four principles.

So that he will not suffer.

He's suffering alone all because of us. And he's so merciful. So merciful. We all are making him suffer. I'm the so nice. So nice.

Can you tell us your moments for initiation? If you have interview. How was your initiation?

We were in Delhi and we want any.

Both of us.

Since we were in Delhi and four years back, we want initiation. But we have not finished that first contour of Bhagavad Gita Mother country. Who told you cannot? We went inside the room of groom and we were crying like anything. The mom said don't cry next month. Don't cry next month I'll give you Diksha online. And Covid came and we came to Vrindavan. Blessing of COVID We came to Vrindavan. There was a zoom meeting going on with Guru Maharaj is coming to each and every house. Then he said Vrindav, you are in Vrindavan. Oh Vrindavan. And have you taken any session? Remember? See there are so many kids between each and every name and each and every. Have you taken initiation?

No.

Didn't talk to the head of this Namat and roll your name. I'll give you the initiation for crying like anything. How he knows about everything. One month has passed and he knows that think it we have not taken. He said we were crying that day. And then we talked in Nahat Mukund Vasudevram and he talked in Mayapur. They have taken our online interview and we got an initiation with Chennai group, right? Guru Maharaj was giving initiation in Chennai. And we got chance with the mercy of Guru Maharaj at the initiation. That's how we got the name and our identity. And.

Some more memories with Guru Maharaj.

She must have shared everything.

I don't know. Because there are endless memories. What to share, what not to share. Everything you share.

But this is for preserving Guru Maharaja glory.

I mean time will fall short, words will fall short if I share all the memories. But yeah, memory for it. We can't even forget Guru Maharaj. How to remember also you see, I mean I'm still thinking that today Guru Maharaj will go. How will I even feel in this house? How will I live here seeing the Guru Maharaj.

Your husband is not well. Evil because of me. I disturbed you.

He knows everything.

He knows everything. I've not told him. And you know, day before yesterday I.

Was crying because he was not well.

And Guru Maharaj was in the car. And I was upset. I got very far away from him. And I was crying because I was not serving. I think with Guru Maharaj. Because I was. And I want to do this, that. And Guru Maharaj what do I do? I want to serve Krishna and you. And he's not well. And my life how to do this? You are here and what do I do? I was looking at him like this. And he was looking at me. And then all of a sudden he turned his looking at the house. Then he looked at me.

I don't know what.

After some time when he went inside the room, somebody came and said. This is Guru Maharaj garland make your husband wear. And after wearing that garland, he's. He's getting better day by day. What all I no words. I have not said anything to Guru Maharaj. I have not told him that he's not well. He reciprocate in as we. I've heard that God reciprocates. If you talk to him. You should talk to him back from your inner heart, your eyes. But this thing I felt and I realized. And I've seen in this Kalyuga see. Krishna is here. Lord Chaitanya is here. Guru Maharaj. He was in the car. Only I have not told him. He was looking at me. I was looking in at him. And somebody had came and then gave me the garland of Guru Maharaj. What else this means he knows everything. There's no need to sit. And God reciprocate. Guru Maharaj himself is Chaitanya Mahaprabhu. And he reciprocates. But we should connect to him. We should have that inner connection. I am thinking yesterday night when Guru Maharaj will go. Kurmar sir, you have my archive. I am always with you with my archive.

Keep the archive on your phone.

And I realized Guru Maharaj is for all, not for us. Everybody should care. Yes. I was so mean that time. I was crying. Guru Maharaj, please don't go. Don't go. I don't know. Then everybody should have that mercy. He's one as Krishna is for all. Gopi is for all world. Not for see Radha. Even Radharani sacrifice. When Krishna. If she says Krishna don't go. Krishna could have. But she knows Krishna is for all. And we shouldn't. That's why I was telling Vrinda. Krishna is not for us. We should have this connection with him. Even though he's in Manpur, he's in America. He's in. We should connect with him by following the four principles and from the heart, from the inners. That's what I think, isn't it?

Yes.

He closes eyes, you feel. You close your eyes, you feel Guru Maharaj. And then definitely goes to Guru Maharaj.

I will.

That's what I want to say.

Thank you.

Thank you.