Lava-Mātra: A Moment with Jayapatākā Swami by HG Keśavī Devī Dāsī #JayapatakaSwamiArchives

Hare Krishna. My name is Keshavi Devidasi. I'm from Japan. Now I'm leaving Mayapur. I came to Krishna Consciousness 1983 for the first time September right after Jammastamy. Then after I was coming to the temple in Tokyo regularly. I was staying nearby the temple so I was coming every day. Then I met the spiritual master who was Zonal Acharya. Those days there is this guru is for Japan. This guru is for that. So there was a guru for Japan was there. And he was so powerful and Sankir Thandipotir and it was so nice. But then I appreciate him. So nice, so wonderful. Krishna Consciousness so nice. But then I didn't want to take any session. But then after that, that year passed. Next year 1984 I came to Mayapur. Then one of the devotee from Japan she was initiated disciple of Guru Maharaj. And she was telling that she's going to see Guru Maharaj every day on the rooftop. A lot of spiriting Guru Maharaj like ocean so big and wonderful. But then I didn't speak English and first time in Mayapur everything is so new. I was so lost and I didn't see Guru Maharaj. Then somehow after I came back from Mayapur to Japan, Guru Maharaj came. And then last time, first time I saw then I was still not staying in temple Because I didn't want to be one of Hare Krishna. I understand, philosophy is great. I understand. But those days like when Pavi Para went to America first time everyone was so new, like hippie, little bit crazy. That kind of mood was there in Japan. So new and everyone is a little bit crazy. And I'm coming from normal family. I didn't see any crazy people before that I came to Hare Krishna. I see so many crazy people. So I didn't want to become one of them. But then Guru Maharaj came. Then one of Padupada disciples, his name was Nanganathana he introduced this is Bhaktin Keko. Then Guru Maharaj saw me and he looked with big smile and he said Bhaktin Keko Hare Krishna. That's only two words. Bhaktin Keko. He called my name. Then he said Hare Krishna. Then I thought this is my life, this is my Guru Maharaj. Immediately I packed everything and moved to the temple from the same day. And I. I forgot everything about material world. And I was thinking I become famous fashion designer and I'm going to become Jewish and that and I forgot everything. I just moved to the temple on the same day just by Guru Maharaj called my name. And Guru Maharaj said, hare Krishna, the Shastra said that just even one second of association of pure devotees is perfection. It was exactly like that. Took only one second. Sigur Maharaj. That was the end of my material life and then beginning of my spiritual life. Then somehow I started moving to the temple. And I was living in the temple. But then I was told, you cannot take initiation from him because he is not the Zong Guru. He is not designated for initiation for Japanese people. Then I was so sad, and I was crying, crying, crying. I believe that. Then next time when Guru Maharaj came, that disciple of Guru Maharaj who is Japanese, she told Guru Maharaj that one Japanese girl want to take initiation from you. And Guru Maharaj said, who is that? Who is that? Bring her, bring her. Then she went, and then I went with her. And then Guru Maharaj was so kind. And then he said, I have socks. I want to give to someone. And he was holding the socks. And he said, to whom? Shalai gave me and Ratumata. They were looking at each other, and I wanted to, yes, but they wanted to be too greedy. Then Guru Maharaj, okay, one for each. And he gave to us. And then she had one, and then I had one. But that time, Guru Maharaj also gave his karata to clean. So we have karata in our hand and we have socks. Then we are thinking, oh, Kalatha is so holy. So we can have together in the same. Like, then we look at each other, me and my friend, Guru Maharaj is holy. Karata is holy. Then Guru Maharaj looking like this was like, I'm so new. This new person is like so bewildered and don't know what to do. And he was just laughing. That was so nice. Then after those days, Guru Maharaj is not coming to Japan so often. But because I want to take initiation from Guru Maharaj. And there was another Mataji. And her husband was also Guru Maharaj disciple. So he started coming regularly those days, like 1983, 1984, 1985. Around that time, Guru Maharaj used to travel whole world, like three, four times. So every time he makes sure he will stop in Japan. So he was coming to Tokyo like three times every year. It's just so nice. And we have only three disciples there. And then we get all the nectar. It is so nice. But same time, we are told, like, we are supposed to go for book distribution when Guru comes. And we want to be with Guru. But then the mood was, you have to go. Service is more important. Go for book Distribution. So we had move away for book distribution. Then Guru Maharaj said, okay, today he was giving class. And after the class they were discussing, they go to book distribution or harinam. I was, yes, harinam, Harinam. Because harinam means that I can see Guru Maharaj. I can be with Guru Maharaj. And when Guru Maharaj comes to Tokyo and he used to have that big character he played so powerful. And all Tokyo people would like stare at, wow, what is this? Who is this? So, so wonderful. So I wanted to go harinam. I said, harinama, harinam. I want to go Harinam. And then Tempuru prison. I think we should go to book distribution. Then Guru Maharaj was looking at that and he said, we can go both. Then we had to book distribution harinam together. Then we used to go for japa walk. Guru Maharaj used to go for japa walk. He likes, I think he likes liver and water. It's not like a Ganga big here. But then we have small liver. So he walk. And then again he's so unusual looking so big. So everyone, wherever we go, everyone's looking at him. We are like a few people, just Guru Maharaj and a few people following like a dakrin. Guru Maharaj walking like a father dakrin. We are behind Guru Maharaj swallowing here and there, going in different places. And it was so nice. Then Guru Maharaj showed me to write a letter. But then I didn't know English, so I can't write the letter in English. So I was asking another devotee and I was so new, I didn't know how to write a letter to spiritual master. So I was asking, how do I write? And I learned I have to start from, please accept my humble basis. Now we have to say respectful basis, but those are humble basis. Then because first time I'm lighting, I said, your eyes are so beautiful like blue sky. So I was like, your heart is white like ocean. I was lighting like that. And then Guru Maharaj used to respond. And then he wrote me back. He said, your letter is very poetic. This time I was thinking, yes, poetic, poetic. But then later on I found out it's like a ridiculous. What I learned it's not like what disciples should light. But then I was so new. That's 1984. Those days we didn't have Internet. We didn't have an email or anything like that for you have to write on the paper. They had a post box. And I don't know if anybody knows post box, but they had a post box. We put then From Japan to India. It takes two months to reach to India. And then from India again. Guru Maharaj have to. I think he has secretary, his name is Ladacharan. He will type what Guru Maharaj said he will type. Guru Maharaj has standard letter, like one page. And then he will add something personally for one paragraph or something like that. Then he will send and it take another two months to reach to Japan. So we have like every year we get like three letters from Guruj. And I was keeping so nice. And one time, I think the first one he gave me was your letter is poetic. And next one he was usually he has like a update how he is doing in that letter he was writing we have Snayatra just like now also Snayatra is coming. Everybody go to Ganga and take the clay pot, fill the water in clay pot and carry on the head. And with wet clothes walk all the way from Mayapuru to Mayapuru Jagannathamande with wet clothes in possession. I was like, wow, so transcendental. Because in Japan it cannot imagine something like that. So I was thinking, wow, so wonderful, so nice. And I wish I can be there. And I was thinking like that then he would like something personal. Then that's what's going on. And one day he said he went south India. Adikeshava temple. Adikeshava temple. I think Safari devotee went and he said that I visited this Adikeshava temple and Pujari kindly gave me some Mahaprasalam cross. So I'm closing, I'm enclosing, I'm putting in a letter. So he put the piece of Mahab clothes from Adikeshava temple. It's red color silk. It was so nice. And I was so happy I received something. Guru Maharaj. I was so happy I was keeping the Tefo like into my heart. Something I received from Guru Maharaj. I was so happy. Then another time Guru Maharaja not be able to come. But when some devotee came from somewhere. And then he was not planning to come to Japan. But then he said that he was told by Guru Maharaj, you have to go to Japan. Because he was Hong Kong or somewhere nearby. He said, you have to go to Japan and give this to Keshavi. And then I was what I was like so surprised because I was thinking so insignificant person, so far away from Guru Maharaj. And then I received and then I open. There were socks and there's a pair too. I was sharing. I have like a pair of socks. And I was so happy with it like, oh, they're so kind, so merciful. And I was like crying like anything again. Then another time I was going to go to airport to receive Guru Maharaj. But then a person who was going to drive the car, his name is Panipusha. He is the husband of the Mataji who is initiated by Guru Maharaj. And he is also initiated by Guru Maharaj, American devotee. He was staying in Harinama so long because that's the Madhanatha Maharaj came. He was not sunny as yet, but he was dancing so beautifully, you know Ladanahamaraj dance so beautifully. Soon he was staying in Harinama. He didn't go quickly. I said, we have to go to airport to pick Guru Maharaj and bad Harinam Ladana. And he was not going. Finally when he decided to go, we go on the highway. In the highway, the gas finished, the gasoline finished. I said, why you didn't fill up enough? And then I was so angry. And he said, guess we get out from a car and push. And then I didn't know what, but then I was pushing. The reason was because there is a gas station. There is like a in the highway. In different places they have emergency button you push. Then someone will come to help with like a rescue thingy. So he didn't want to stay in that spot. He wanted to go far away so that the rescue thing doesn't come. Then he doesn't have to pay. I didn't know what was going on, but I was pushing. By then Guru Maharaj already reached the airport. We are completely lost and we are so late and we have to come back to temple without Guru Maharaj. Then we are so miserable staying in the temple. Someone else went to Guru Maharaj in the airport. But then Guru Maharaj have to come by train and bus quite nearby to the temple. All alone. Those days Guru Maharaj used to travel alone. He didn't have 10, 15 servants with him. He was traveling alone. So he has to carry the luggage and he has to take the tray and bus. And he was coming nearby the temple. And then someone went with car to pick him up. And I was so miserable and so unhappy. Maybe that time or next time when he was leaving again, same person who was going to drive. And then I said, I want to go, Guru Maharaj is leaving. I want to go to the airport with Guru Maharaj because he was going to drive and Guru Maharaj was going to sit in that car. And I wanted to go with him because there was only few disciples. Then he Said, no. The temple president said, he desire you stay for book distribution. So go home again. So now I have to stay. Then he left. Guru Maharaj left. And after that, devotee's wife, she was cooking the traveling lunchbox for Guru Maharaj. And he said, hey, my husband left without taking the lunch box I cooked for Guru Maharaj. And he didn't take. He need this, otherwise what he will eat. And then I said, let's go. I am the Sumataji Guru Maharaj disciple. Her name is Lekadevi. And then without telling a temple present, we took that lunchbox and went to the airport and looking for Guru Maharaj. In the airport, Guru Maharaj was wearing that kalmi clothes. Because in the airport and he has to wear that kind of suit. And we are looking the Saffalan clothes here. Guru Maharaj, where is Guru Maharaj? We couldn't see. And suddenly some effort was coming. What is this effort? And I look carefully. That was Guru Maharaj even wearing another dress. He was so effulgent. The whole materialistic airport was so shining because of Guru Maharaj's presence. And then Guru Maharaj saw us. What's he doing here? Guru Maharaj lunch book. And he was laughing and he happily took and he ate. It was so nice. Yeah. Then another time, again, we have to go for book distributions. And I was kind of push away when Guru Maharaj come. And then I was not able to see Guru Maharaj directly even when he was here. Then one time, somehow Guru Maharaj was in a temple room. And then I happened to be like, be there. And then he said, why are you not coming to see me? Guru Maharaj said, I came all the way to see you. Where are you hiding? And then I started crying because I couldn't say that. The old temple president told me I have to go for book distribution. I couldn't say that. First of all, I didn't know English. And the second that I didn't want to say something about negative about temple president. So I was just crying and crying and I didn't know what's happening here. This sentimental cry. But then he was so kind like that. He said, I came all the way to see you. Who are you hiding? And I was so touched. There is no, no comparison how much Guru Maharaj gave so much unlimited love and care. Then our initiation. Yeah. So all other devotees will join with. Around the same time, 1984, they took initiation from Lamesha Maharaj. No problem. But because I want to take initiation from Guru Maharaj. There was Huge issues. Then he says, no, no, you're Maya, you're thinking about him all the time. You're completely Maya, you are so bad and all that. And I was thinking, oh no, why I'm so much in Maya. I cannot stop thinking about the Guru Maharaj. And I can only think about Guru Maharaj and thinking that I cannot take initiation from Guru Maharaj. And I start to cry and try to distribute the book. I cannot think, see anything because so much tears. And then seeing that and other devotees see you and Maya, you can't even distribute because you crying, crying, crying so much thinking about your spiritual master. That's Ms. Yeremaya. And I was crying more like that. Then somehow that Ramashwara Maharaj, he came that Guru for Japan he came and it was arranged that then I can talk with him in the next place. My gratitude to that spiritual master. I'm grateful that he was helping me in spiritual life. At the same time I have this feeling for we used to say Acharya path for Acharya path. And I don't know what to do. But then I really have a strong desire. I want to take initiation from Charyapat. Doesn't mean that I have any negative feeling for other devotee. I liked serving in Japan and I want to continue serving you also. And then Sriya Prabhupada. Then he discussed with temple president and they discussed with GBC Maturus. Guru said this person is guru for this one that was very strong. So I was going against. It was a big thing. But somehow that Guru was so kind. And then he arranged that I can take any session. Then it took whole one year. Then next year. Then Guru Maharaj came. He did jagya by himself. Those days there was no priest who does jaga. It was so in Japan nobody knows how to do jagya. And then Guru Maharaj came. He doesn't have a servant and there was nobody. And then I think that was the system. I don't know where other place. But then he did himself Jagya. And then there is a fire. You know the wood in Mayapur wood is everywhere. We put so many wood that we don't have wood. So in Japan, you know the chop, chopstick, when we eat noodles, they have a wood stick. We buy that from market and we put that at the firewood. And then we don't have jagged spoon, of course and we have cooking spoon and all that. So we did that. Then Guru Maharaj explained at the second encounter of initiation. And then he gave. Oh, then he was then before the jagya start and he was going to give the name. Then he was sitting on a beyond. We didn't have a vyasasan because we have a sing in Japan. People think Japan is very opulent, but it isn't. So the temple isn't at least so we have Parupada Singhasam and then another vyasasan for La Mashwara Prabhup. But we didn't have a Biyasa san for Guru Maharaj. Temporary we made. And Guru Maharaj is big and quite heavy. So he is sitting there. But every time he move a little bit, the chair with chair means vyasasa would move. And Guru Maharaj looking like this. And he was going like that and a chair moving and a guruma. It's movie like that. And then anyway it was going on and he was going to give the name. Then he had a microphone. Like how I have like here coat over there. And he has japama around his neck. And then he said your name is. And he was going to give the beast and got stuck with microphone and he made such a beautiful face. And someone took the photo. And then I put the made into patch and I was wearing. And he said microphone got stuck on the piece. And he made a beautiful smile. Then I got like a pause. Then got a new beautiful photo. It was nice. And he said, your name is Keshavi Devidasi Haribo. Then he said dolopati. When she was in danger, she called out this name. Then I thought because Guru Maharaj knows I was in Japan. I'm so isolated by like there was no so many God brothers, God sisters. And everyone said, you're Maya. You're thinking about Guru Maharaj. That means Maya. Oh, that's when I was suffering so much. So he gave such a name that Draupadi was calling out for this name. So, so nice. Then after that second initiation, then after that first initiation, I was doing this different service, mainly book distribution because the temple was a book distribution temple. Hardly any other activity was going on. So the book distribution was there. Then they installed deity Gonitai. Then they needed a pujari. But everybody else was so fired up they wanted to go for book distribution. I'm not so much so I want to stay for deity worship. But then for the deity worship we need second initiation. So Kavichandala Maharaj told Guru Maharaj that if he can give his second initiation for Keshavi so that she can do the deity worship. And then Guru Maharaj was Going to come. That was 1984, December then. But then Karuchana Maharaj temple president didn't tell me that one day we on the highway Sankyotan book distribution. We have Sankirtan bus. Fill up the book and then we sit in the front seat and someone drive and someone sit next. And if there is a space and then we squeeze in. And then Kavichana Maharaj said, probably paradise. It was like that. Fill up the bun with a book and if you want the space, then you distribute the book there with space, then you can stay there. So we are doing that. And if we distribute the book and we have space, we can lie down, we can sit, something like that. So we are on the highway. Then Kavichana Maharaj found out I have a driver's license. I even forgot about that. And I had a driver's license. Somehow he found out. He said, keshavi, you can drive. I said, what? So many years and I haven't driven. I got the license, but then I never drive after that. And then he said, this is the only highway. I said, highway means 100 kilo to 100 kilo high speed. I can't risk devotee's life. And he said, no, no, highway is easy. Just hold the handle straight, no problem. And then he will be sitting and if something happened, he will push the brake. And then I said, no, I cannot do, I cannot do, I cannot do. And then he said, I will tell Jayaputakasami Keshavish not to surrender. Don't come to Japan. No need of second initiation. I said, what? Guruma is going to come? I didn't even know. And then I said, yes, I would drive. I was driving on the highway for the first time after driver's license, like maybe 20 years. Anyway, I drive. And then Guru Maharaj came and he was going to give the second initiation. This time we made a steady be because it was really going to start. And then what we can do in Japan, we don't have resources. Not Mayapuru. We have so much, so many things, so easily you can get. But it's not like that in Japan. So we put a book and then we put the VSS so that it's not a weekly. Then Guru Maharaj came and he was going to sit and he was thinking, maybe this will break. This time he was looking and he sat anyway. And he sat and he was moving like this chicken. It didn't move. And he looked at the temple. It's good. How did you make it? And then tempuru President said it's a book. And then Guruvala immediately jumped off from there book. I can't sit on the book. Immediately jump off. And then temple present. What can we do? That's what we do. Thank you. Than devotee. We put the book in the barn and we sit there and we lie down. That is all we can offer. All we have in this temple is a book. Nothing else is there. Then Guru Maharaj unwillingly accepted. I'm sure he didn't want it. But that's what we all we have. So he sat. Then he did again. He did himself. I took Brahmani session actually first initiation time. Another Mataji's husband took second initiation. This time I was taking second initiation. Then he called me on the side to give Gayatri mantra. I think the Bengali devotee and the Western devotee or anybody. There is a paper, on the paper there is a guide to reminder. It's litm. So Guru Maharaj is saying. Then he will chant. And then I'm looking at the paper. Then he said one line I'm supposed to repeat. And then he said then uncover the left ear. Left ear, left ear. Then I uncovered and I'm listening. I heard Gunvalaj saying, but too transcendent. And I'm so much in ecstasy. Guru Maharaj, I have no idea what he said. And I'm looking at paper but then I'm not sure what he said. I was like blank. What? And Guru Maharaj said, repeat what I say, repeat after me. And then he said again one line. I was completely blank and I have no idea what he said. And then he understood I can't read and I cannot understand the Sanskrit. Then he has to repeat one word each. And even that he took long time so that I can repeat. He will say one word, I will repeat after sometimes and he will say another word. I will contemplate what it is. And I say another word like that. And he came in the Gayatri after took quite a long time for that. And then that was the second initiation. Many things happened in Japan then. I always wanted to come come to Mayapur. So every year the Sanket and devotee come to Mayapur. Those who collect enough. But then I was not collecting enough. The Kabbach said you cannot come. And Guru Maharaj asked temple present. So how she is doing? How she can come or not? Oh, she didn't collect enough. I don't think she can go. And Guru Mahalaji like oh, you didn't collect enough. And I was so sad. So mizzirap And I'm sorry I couldn't. And I couldn't come every year. Then one year somehow I came. The first time when I came was before I saw Guru Maharaj. Then second time I already see Guru Maharaj and I came. Then as soon as I reached, I came to chakra building and Vidya, the South American devotee was there and she was talking chakrab breathing. I said wow. She said Maya Pur so wonderful. First time I didn't understand anything because I was not a devotee so much. But then now I know the devotees and I see everybody's devotee. Everybody has Japa Mata, shaved head, saffron clothes, sari. So wonderful. Where is Guru Maharaj? And that's also American devotee. Her name is Vijay Deepya. Deepya. She said, oh, Guru Maharaj went to go sita with his cycle. And I said what cycle? He drives cycle? Yeah, he has his, his own cycle. I couldn't believe he has big body. And then actually we are waiting there for 15 minutes or something. Guru Maharaj came with a cycle, he's sitting on a cycle. And he was driving. And then he saw me, he was driving and we are on the chakra bread. And he said okay Savi Haribo so happy. And I play obey. And after that last time there was few South American devotees. I think in Goli and Divya and Sarava, Shakti and Manjali. And then I think Lavanga was also there another time. So what we do is we are so fanatic. Whenever Guru Maharaj go, we go. And then in the morning, early in the morning, we sit right in front of Lotus Reading stairs. Guru Maharaj come down from Lotus Reading. We sit there and wait for Guru Maharaj. As soon as Guru Maharaj come, we just follow wherever Guru Maharaj go like another duck. And he was going here and there. Those time he was making expo. Now it's inside TOBP park. So there was instruction park. But he wanted international exhibition. While the festival is there. Each temple should display their activity in each temple. So Harinam and Sankirtan and book and different activities. So he was making that. So he was making each temple to display different photos and he it was quite hot it go for him at he was walking here and there and he was instructing these people that people how to put this and that. And we are going here and there. And he noticed on us do something useful while just watching. Then there was some exhibition for Japan so I started helping. Otherwise we just following Guruvaraj. What is Guruvaraj doing. Oh, so that's Guruvaraj. Everything is nice. We are just following Guru Maharaj looking. Then he told us do something useful. Then we start doing that. Then we are back. Then another time, after few years and I came back again. Last time we came to Gopurima. Then we went to Vrindavan and Bombay, different places. And then because Vyasa Puja I came back. Other devotee went back. But then I came back to Mayapur. And then I attended Biyasa Puja. It's so wonderful because in Japan to buy the garland is so costly. And then I collected money from my parents or something. And then we're keeping secretly. I made a huge load. Load. Loads, loads. Gallon. It's cost $100. It's very expensive. I made big one I was making in the temple room. And then of course I want to give it to Guru Maharaj in Japan. Then Guru Maharaj came and he noticed when he I was going to offer to Guru Maharaj. He said offer to Pavi Para. I said shy papa over to Pavipad. And after some time Guru Maharaj accept as Padupada as Mahappur. I think that his mood is always offered to Prabhupada first. And as Mahabhara Salam from Prabhupada he will accept. Otherwise he wouldn't accept Boga garland to himself. So that garland was expensive. But then it was. It's a struggle to offer garland. But then here I come to my blue flower everywhere. Like Mari gold and different jasmine. Here is also so many flower. And then I had a flower without smell is not offerable. But then in Japan there is no flower first of all. And we find the flower that is no smell. But in Mayapur so many flowers, so much nice smell. And then you don't have to collect the money or anything like that. Just pick some and make. And then there's a project. Every single person has a garland. And Guru Maharaj was covered with garland, garland, garland. And he would take out and he will destroy. So wonderful. This Guru Maharaj is so nice. It's a spiritual world. And Guru Maharaj being in worship so wonderful. Because in Japan we are not supposed to worship the guru. Because if we worship Guru, it's Maya. But then here everybody's worshipping Guru Maharaj. And Guru Maharaj is centered. And wherever he goes and everyone's happy. And then he smile. This is spiritual. But I really want to say Mayapur. Then I thought and told me I should write a letter. The South American girl, she told me I should write a letter. I didn't have a paper. I didn't have pens and I have pencil and I have a small mini paper. In that mini paper, I wrote everything what I want to say with so, so, so letter. I don't think Guru Maharaj is good to read it. But then I gave it to Guru Maharaj. And then somehow Guru Maharaj understood what I want to say. So in chakra building, he called me a temple president. I was crying. I want to stay my temple president zone. No, Keisha has to stay in Japan because there is no Japanese devotee. She speaks Japanese. Only Japanese can preach Japanese. She has to stay. She cannot stay in my Upper Baba. She was so angry and Guru Maharaj so transcendent. I'm more of ignorance. Kavishan Maharaj was more of personal angry. And Guru Maharaj so transcendent that he was smiling, listening all the crying and all the complaints and everything. He was smiling so nice. And he said so mercifully, walk now, someday, later. And then I started crying again. Of course, Guru Maharaj always follow the authority and jvc, whatever the Lulu is made. Lulu's temple present is also written. We have to follow the temple present at night. No. That means no. And then also he will not go against any rule of which was set in his. He didn't want to break it. So he said, the temple present is saying this. And I thought you work now and somebody like that. And he also said, if you stay in Japan, you get so much attention whenever I go. But in Mayapuru you don't get any attention because everybody is my disciple. And I said, I don't mind. I want to be with your disciple. Because in Japan it was not like that. And here everyone is going well, I just so happy. But then I was sent back. Then I went back to Japan and it was like that. Then one of the trip and I came to Mayapur. And then I was Viasa Puja. Then after that I was going back to Japan. Then on the way in Hong Kong, the devotee told me, where are you going? I said, I'm going back to Japan. And then she said, Hong Kong devotee. I think her name is Paduma. She said, but the temple is not there anymore. I said, what does it mean? The temple is burned. Nothing is left. I said, what? I kind of didn't get it. But somehow I did. Tokyo. And then I get down the station and from the station it's about 15 minutes to walk. And I walk and it's midnight. Then in the station I asked the station person, can I stay in the station hall overnight? Because I had the place where I was staying was burned and nothing left. And I said, no, you cannot do that. You have to go or go to police. So anyway, I walk and then I reach there. Actually it was completely burned. Completely just burned. And nothing was left. Then I thought, okay, I have to stay overnight somewhere. It was midnight and I know why they keep the San Kirtan car. Then I went to the parking place. Somehow the door was the Sam Kitten bus door was open. So I went and I stayed there overnight. Then I came back in the morning. I heard what's happening. They have. The worker was making the new floor and they're smoking or something. And then that cigarette fell on the floor. In one second whole floor burned. And then Gonita deity was there. And then Gonitai deity was burned. And the whole temple was burned almost in one second. I wasn't there. But when I came, I was sure the deity always looked terrible. And then the reason I was I have to stay in Japan was because I was Pujari and I speak Japanese, that there was no more temple. And then there was no place for a devotee to stay. Also all the devotees have to stay in someone's house. Like a guest. Or we didn't have a life member. But Sunday feast, someone's coming, so we have to stay. So we didn't have a place to stay. Even Kavichana Maharaj and Upada disciples, they have to stay in little apartment where the guest was was staying. And they don't have a shower room. So they have a sink in the kitchen sink. They have to sit in the sink to take a shower. That's not the austerity they were doing. Then they told me, okay, you can go because we don't have anything here anymore. So with the permission, I left and I wrote a letter to Guru Maharaj. This happened. So with the permission of temple present, and I'm going the man for Guru, Guru Maharaj asked, I think that's a prabhup Vishnu Maharaj, who was some kind of authority in that area. And then he also gave permission, I can go to Malaysia. So I went to Malaysia to stay. Then in Malaysia I met Guru maharaj. That was 1988. And then Guru Maharaj is thinking, what to do with this girl. Because in Mayapur those days, not married ladies cannot stay in Mayapur. And I was not married in Japan. There was no more temple. Then he said, kesweb, why don't you go to New Orleans. New Orleans is like a paradise. Whoever go there, they can get married immediately. And you get married. Then you is married with Grihasa. Then you can come to Mayapur to stay. But as a single woman you cannot stay in Mayapur. Then I said okay. Then I applied for the visa. But then I went to American embassy. And then I said okay, you're going to India. Right after. Then they put a stamp under the constellation. I didn't understand what was that. But with that stamp when I came to India and then I show to the devotee and then they said with this stamp you can never go to America. And I was like, yeah, I'm so sorry. But then I follow my best to follow Guru Maharaj's order. But then it was like that and I couldn't go to America. Then Gurumaraj came. It was like 1988. It was 1988. August 8th. I met the Guru Maharaj in Malaysia. All 8, 8, 8, 8. That was before Jammastami. And that happened. I came to Mayapur that year, same month, August Jammastami time. And then Guru Maharaj see me there. What's happening? I told you to go to America, why you are here. And then explaining, yes. And I try and I apply and they put the stamp and actually said I can never go to America. Then Guru Maharaj okay then what visa you got? I said three months. Okay, three months you stay in Urusi. Then I stayed three months here. Then after three months and I felt marriage three months over pizza finish. What should I do? And I couldn't. You can extend three months because tourist pizza, I don't know now but tourist visa you can extend three months more. So now I extend three more months and I stay up to go Purima. Then meanwhile my authority, I tell him, Mataji, when you are leaving, when you're going away, every day they will call me to the office. They will tell Mataji, you know, my poor single woman cannot stay when you are leaving. So every day they are asking then my visa is finished and passport was also expiring. I told now what? And then Guru Maharaj said, oh, you can go to Malaysia, make new passport next time. We then come back. Then I did that and then I came back. By then I got married to my husband. Then after that I didn't have any more problem with visa passport. Mataji, go away. All that. And then I was happy, peaceful. Then yeah, after that everything was very peaceful. No more struggle like that. Then yeah, that was then. That is one chapter. The next Chapter was short. I had a child. First baby was born. And then those days Guru Maharaj used to. That is in the beginning of 1990, Guru Maharaj used to do the Mongarati. He does Mongarati for Nasingadev every day as long as he's here. He does Nasingadev Mongarati. But then my husband does Radha Madhavasi. Guru Maharajarati for Ladha Mahtavaras. Then Ladha Mahadavas Guru Maharaji did sometime. And then my husband could assist. And I was very watching. So nice. Then after Mongarotteri, he will sit in Hotel Babhupara. There was no Panchita temple yet. So Padupada Singhasana was where he is now. And he will sit in front of Bhagavad. And then we will gather around little bit of distance, like 2 meter away. And we will sit and enchant the Japa. Not so many devotees, maybe about 10 or 15 devotees or disciples sitting there. And then I was going every day, but then I was pregnant, but very small. Eight months, but very small. Then on the way I was feeling pain. But I didn't have a brother or sister. I didn't have a sister or a big family. So I didn't even know I should get the pain for delivering a baby. I thought pain and then go say, I said Covid. I said to Mataji was telling, how are you? I said little bit pain. And then they immediately they went around every sing, Mataji is going to have baby today. I didn't know they were speaking so much. And Marini Mataji Atmatato, Babaji's wife came to see me. And she said, I think you're going to have a baby today. And then that was end of. End of Chaturimasi and also end of Karatek. And then he said, said Guru Maharaj came to my home and I prepare easily because Karotic finished. Then you can break the Urda fasting. So she made that and then offered to Guru Maharaj. And Guru Maharaj ate. And then in case you're going to deliver, you have to be strong. And then during delivery you cannot eat. So now you should eat. And Guru Maharaj eatery was there and marijuana Mataji came to eat. And then I ate that. Then I went to the hospital. Then I delivered the baby. Then Luma went. Because those days there were so few people. Anything happened, Small thing happened like a village Toku, everyone knows. And Luma went off Keshe Madraj delivered the baby in the Ganga. Because I went to close the Ganga. And I went to deliver. Then I came back anyway then for one month. And I have to stay at home after delivery. So after one month I took the baby. And Guru Maharaj was last time somehow Guru Puja was lotus building in the belanda for some reason. And then I was carrying the baby. There was an Italian devotee, Prabha Nana Arjuna. Arjuna was the bodyguard of Guru Maharaj. And Prabhupada was the wife. And she said because I was struggling with small baby, baby only two and eight kilo. But I was struggling to carry on. She said, everyone offer flowers to Guru Maharaj. Then she said, shall I help you? Can I carry for you? I said, no, I can manage. Then with the baby I went off a flower. And then Guru Maharaj look, whose baby is that? I think mine. Guru didn't even know that I was pregnant. Even though I was going to and situate that Japa. Guru Maharaj was saying every day he didn't notice when I was pregnant. Then he said last time he said, okay, find out what is the first letter, auspicious letter for the baby. And then he told me specifically ask Atmatatha Prabhupada. And then I told Atmatatta Prabhupada. This is what Guru Mahalaj said. And then he said, oh, Guru Maharaj. And he immediately checked. And then I went back with Mao or male or mo. And I went back. And then Guru Maharaj gave to Radha Charan Prabhu that he was secretary. And then Radha Charan Prabhu. Find out. So many names start from Ma or me or mob. And then Guru Maharaj was in the meeting. And then Prabhav Mataji was with me waiting outside the meeting room. And then I said, I think Guru Maharaj is too busy. Let's go home. And then Prabha Mataji said, no, no Keshavi, don't give up. Now or never. Just stay and wait. And we wait. And then after some time Radha Charan came out from meeting room. Guru Maharaj is the meeting. But then Guru Maharaj I gave this list with this big list. Guru Maharaj selected five names. And Guru Maharaj saying he selected out of so many lists, he selected five names. Within these five names, the parents can choose one. Consider that Guru Maharaj choose the name. And then the parents can choose out of five. One and one name. Particularly I really like it. But my husband is my husband. And I was hoping he doesn't choose something else because his taste and my taste is completely different. But Somehow the name he choose was same name I wanted. That was Medharani, Queen of Intelligence. That's the Ladalani name. It was nice. This was the first and second baby. Second baby. I was so big and I was pregnant same time with one Mataji Balabi. And so two of us walking around with big belly like this. Elephantaji, make sure I noticed this time because last time I didn't know she was pregnant. So he used comment because Chamataji, we speak very elephant and he was laughing and joking. He used to joke on us to w trouble. He used to joke and yeah, make a laugh. It's just nice. And when she was born after one month and I stay home after delivery and then after one month I wash the baby nicely and then dress nicely. And then that time Groom Raj and Rooftop. Those days we could go to rooftop anytime. There was no appointment, nothing. We can just go grum. Guru Maharaj looked up anytime. And also when Guru Maharaj is walking anytime, anyone can just talk to Guru Maharaj. Guru Maharaj talk to anybody. It was like there's no pushing Mataji side. It was not like that. So I went there and then I was scaling. Then Guru Maharaj came out from his room and he was looking and he said, I think I have seen her before. This is the first time I'm carrying to show to Guru Maharaj and Guru Maharaj I think I have seen her. Then I was guessing previous life or something. I didn't ask more. Then later on she grew up and she took initiation from Guru Maharaj and she was working at CDM for some time. And Guru Maharaj gave her so much mercy. And she gave Guru Maharaj gave the name Manjirali Devini Devidasi. It was nice. And a sad baby. A sad baby we have. Because in Bengali we have to have a son for some reason, I don't know why, but in India they have to have a son. So I wanted to have a son because my husband feeling guilty. He has only two daughters and everyone said, no, you have to do tame. They say like that. So I wanted to have a son for my husband to feel better. Then I have the son. And my Guru Maharaj was so happy for me because I was feeling guilty. So every time he see my son getting, he will give the blessing and then like. And also the girl cannot hang around the Guru Maharaj so much, but the boy can. So my son grew up, he used to hang out. It was so nice. And Guru Puja, Guru Puja were in the lotus spirit before then we used to go to Guru Puja every day. Then I'm getting the baby first 12133131 was not there that time. So I'm Kaling. And Guru Maharaj used to invite different God brothers for Vyasa. Vyasa Puja Bhakti Tuta Maharaj Vyasa Puja he used that Vyasa Puja was around Gopuri Matan. So Bhakti Tirtha Maharaj was coming to Guru Maharaj. Guru Puja along with Bhakti Tituram Maharaju sitting there. And then Guru Maharaj sitting there. All his Guru Maharaj disciples offer flowers and homage and garland to both of. So Guru Maharaj's mood was his disciples should respect and offer worship not only own guru but the guru's God brothers. So he liked that disciple offer respect to his disciples. Maharaja was there sometimes Sridhar Maharaja was also there different the Guru used to come. And one time Kavichandra Maharaj was there. And I have issue with Kavichando Maharaj because he was torturing me in Japan that oil, Maya and all that. So Kavichandra Maharaj came. I have a garland my daughter was going to give to Guru Maharaj. And then I'm saying Guru Maharaj was telling other devotees who come with one garland give that garland to that devotee who is sitting with Guru Maharaj the guest. Because he's inviting his got brothers coming come to Guru Puja. And only he's receiving in garland. And then his God brother is not receiving in garland. Guru Maharaj didn't feel that proper. So my daughter has a garland to give to Guru Maharaj. And I have two daughters. So each has one garland and going to give it to Guru Maharaj. I really wanted them to be offered Guru Maharaj. But then I'm saying how Guru Maharaj is telling offer to other Guru. Then Kavichano Maharaj is sitting there. Then my turn came. I told my daughter like softly. I don't think Guru Maharaj could hear. But then and then I told him offer that Kavichandra Maharaj. Then my daughter Guru Maharaj I want to give to Guru Maharaj. He was holding. But then mama said to give it to Adhasani. Then she put the Kavichandra. And then Guru Maharaja looking at that, he was like so happy. Because I was so like feeling having a negative feeling for the temple president for not letting to come to my parents and all that issue was there. But then he saw that I came to conclusion that I would do what Guru Maharaji will please. That is what God understood to go to president. So Guru Maharaj is smiling so happy. It was so nice. Then after some time I approached to my temple president and I'm very sorry that I have been acting very immature way. Actually I'm so grateful that he took care of me so much in Japan. And then I ask forgiveness. Please forgive all my offenses. And then Kabisha Nomala said, no, no, no. You are good. You are good. Compared to all others. You are very good. Very good. You are the only happy Japanese. He said, all Japanese are suffering so much in Japan. You made the right choice. You came to Mayapuru. You are the only happy Japanese. No offense. No offense. He gave me the forgiveness and I was so happy. Even now I meet Kabi Chandra Maharaj. He talk and give instruction and different introduction. So he gave me different service to do. So now I'm doing that. So it's nice. Then after some time Guru Puja moved to big kitchen. Before it was lotus building and now moved to big kitchen. So in big kitchen he used to give out samosa. And samosa is very hot. And my children small. Yeah. So they come with little hand. And Grimaro is hot, hot. Samosa is hot. Then he was giving to each of my children hot, hot. And then one child always received hot samosa. And next one will come with another small hand. And Guru Maharaj again said, hot, hot. And he will give samosa and he will move. And then I come with my little bigger hand. And then Guru Maharaj will give two. Then he said, one is for your husband. Because my husband is doing a service in a temple during a Guru puja. He cannot touch come to Guru Puja. So every time Guru Maharaj will give me one for me and one for my husband. And it's just nice. Then Vishwana Panchaka. Vishwana Panchaka. Actually we started with latnavari and Latika Bakti and mangalasaki. Mangalasaki. And they started. Then they are talking about there is a thing called vision of Panchaka. That time nobody knew about fish on panchaka. And then Gurumaraj said, okay, we can do that. Then Guru Maharaj will prepare the potato and other things fruits in Guru Maharaj's loof. So he will call us. Okay, go to eat. Let's go to eat the potato. Then we will go upstairs rooftop. Then only few of us, just four Madhaji and Guru Maharaj servant. Maybe two, three more. We all sit. Guru Maharaj sit. And he will Eat. And we will sit and eat every day we are doing morning and lunch and then in the evening, at night Guru Maharaj said, come for the dinner. And then I was like, oh, Guru Maharaj, we are so full. And Guru Maharaj like made supplies face. You are full? Yes, we are so full. It's like a feast. And then we asked Guru Maharaj, we have been eating, we are not paying anything. Can we pay something? And then Guru was why I can. I can maintain my children like so nice, like a father. So we are going there every day. Not dinner at the morning and lunch we are going eating potato and coconut and wonderful food. And the end of the Bishna Panchakar is last day of Bishop Panchakara. After Purnima's lesson. Next day it was my daughter's birthday. My two daughter. One was the one day after Lhasapunima and one was two days after. So now I have birthday cake prepared for them. And I'm different devotee used to bring different preparations and I used to bring the birthday cake. Then Guru Maharaj will personally look at the cake, personally call my children, come over with the cake. And then he will cut the cake together and he will feed my children and he will let us to sit and he will serve personally and he will serve different items. And when he come in front of us and he will say, you want boiled potato or you want baked potato? I said, oh no granular, no more potato. And he will laugh and he will serve different items. And grandmother is serving and we are eating just like in the beginning when Pabu father, Papua father used to. And then new devotees, they don't know what is going on. They used to eat. It's like that Guru Maharaja feeding his children. And we didn't even pay anything. We just keep eating, eating like that. In the beginning of Vishwa Panchaka and Vishenpanthaka, he used to go to Ganga. So we go to Ganga. Ganga was so nice. He would go to Ganga and we go to Ganga and we offer different. And he is very good swimmer. One point there was little island in Ganga. Then he is good swimmer. So he will swim from there to another island. So he will swim. Then everybody, whoever can swim, everybody swims with Gunnar to the island and he will come back. And then again we will come back swimming. And then Gunnar doesn't get tired. So he will go again into the island and he will come back. And he was doing that by then we get tired, Guru Maharaj. You don't get tired. But he didn't look like he's tired. So he was doing that. Someone told said something like, Guru Maharaj take a drive all the way to the up street, very far away. And from there he will swim from far away from the Ganga upstream. He would just swim, swim, swim. He liked that. And Pavi Parachute was a place here Instead he used to take Prabhupada's murati from the temple. And then he said Babhupara wanted to go to Ganga every day. Every day he wanted to take shower, take bath in Nganga. So he told Guru Maharaj, told himself that he will make the nice pathway. Those days it's called Mandir, represent Mandir. And Nganga was very far away. But then he was telling to Bhagavada in the mind, we will make it nice load so that Prabhupada can take a bath nicely. Then he thought at least for his Vyasa Puja via Sapuja disappearance day, he can take personally Prabhupada's murti to Ganga. So he will carry from the temple through Ganga and then everybody else. And after all the years of Buddha and all the festival, everybody has Prasadam time, a thing called Prasadam time. And they have been fasting they want because Jammastan is fasting and Parvara Bihar Saha Puja fasting. So they're hungry. And those days there was no shopping Mayapur. If you miss the feast, you don't get any food. There's no other option. So everyone will go for the feast. Then Guru Maharaj said where everybody goes? And I said, I'm going to take Babupada to Ganga. And then there was only few people there. I'm for sure, I'm there. So now we will go there. And then Babu Bhada was being carried by Guru Maharaj. And then Guru Maharaj go there. And then he would go inside Ganga with Babupada. And then he would dip with Babupad. And then he would make other devotees to pour the water. But then of course main around Guru Maharaj and man doing bathing for Babupada. It's so nice. And then Guru Maharaj one point, you move out. He will tell all the men to move out. And he called Mataji because we are like Mataji side, Mataji side singular. And Mataji will come one by one and follow the water. Grummaraji holding Parupala in Ganga. And then we could pour the water on Parupara. So beautiful. So nice. Yeah, it was so nice. It was like that. And then Japa walk. Japa walk Is another thing. After the Japa here we have a walk. Last time already have a Panchitato batu installed. When Panchitato Bhattam installed, he used to chant Japa in Panchitatuva templum Panchitato Bhattas time only small Panchitava. So the lesson didn't take so much time. So he made a rule that the Panchitatta temple door curtain is open for those who want to chant Japan like after Mongarati for half an hour or something. So now we could take a darshan and then we could chant Japan. And Guru Maharaj sit and this side Mataji, this side Babuji. Then we will chant and then cut and close after half an hour. Then Guru Maharaj go for a walk. He go to Goshala, that was his favorite place. And he go to and there is a cows urine he likes. I don't know if it is good for him. He would drink every day. And he drank specific cows that cow give for Guru Maharaj. And then he said this cow is giving nice. Then he will drink and he has a cup, half cup. He will drink and half cup he will transport to another cup and then give it to other devotee. And then a new devotee, they don't know what is it and say, wow, Guru Maharaj is Maha Prasadam. They will fight and then they will pop little bit, a little bit. They feel like Guru Maharaj Mahapalam. They don't want to permit that kind of thing. And everyone like and other devotees who already know to laugh at those devotees. And sometimes when Guru Maharaj is going to go seller on the way, he's got the brothers Saniyasi. They will meet and Guru Maharaj come with us, come with us. And then Guru Maharaj will invite sometimes Subhakumaraj. Particularly Subhak Maharaj. I remember Guru Maharaj is going Subhak Maharaj there. And then Guru Maharaj drank that cow Julian. And Subak Maharaj is smiling. He's always jolly. And he gave Subakumaraj drink. This is very good. This is good. And Guru Maharaj describing how good is the cow earring. And then Subhakumaraj is smiling and all the devotees staring. Want to see the reaction he was staring. Why everyone is so serious. And he's like, did everyone start to laugh? And Guru Mahaji was also smiling. Bhakunaraj saw everyone laughing. He also started to laugh like that. Different devotee invited by Guru Maharaj. And every time we look at the action and make a laugh and then another Time another drink. That is a nice one. Kaju juice. The thumb tree there. The juice coming out particular season you can get that is sweet. And a really nice one he used to get. Sometime the guy will come with clay pot. Carrying stick there and two pots there. And he will sell walking around early in the morning before sunrise. And Guru Maharaj will sometimes get. And he will get in a cup and he will drink. And a half cup he will give to another cup. And all the disciples will say and pour. If we touch it become much pour. Then drink. One time the servant didn't bring or something. Only. Only Guru Maharaj's cup was there. And then Guru Maharaj drank half. And he wanted to give to other devotees. But there was no spare cup. And then Guru Maharaj said, okay, you can drink from my cup, but don't touch. And he will pull at the devotees and devotee like this. He will pour and he will drink. And then first of course men will take. And then. Then he look. And then look at me. Then I thought, yes, don't miss this juice. And I went like a baby. And he pulled the Cajun juice. Juice. Then the other Mataji also got juice. So nice. And I was walking around the go Shala and walk back. So, so nice. So many nice things. Flood during a flood is another wonderful time. When my children were really small, that's when it started flooded. And we moved to chakra building. And my husband went to Vrindavan. I was left me and small two daughters. And then when the news came, my village was going to flood. All the senior devotees or management of whoever is important people immediately packed up. They left. Just leaving. Flood is coming. Just leave. They just come. Guru Maharaj is not that time in my opinion. But he heard. He was a little bit far away place. He heard. Immediately he came. I was like, this is my Guru Maharaj. Everybody, all the important people, they are in Mayapur. Their heart is going to be flooded. They just left. But Guru Maharaj he was far away and he had going to be flooded. He immediately came. And then when he was coming, it was actually at night. And then it was flooded from Jagannath Mandir around that time. Jagannathamandi is higher, so it doesn't get flooded. But then after it's flooded. So he came from Jagannath by boat. He was coming there. Then Chakrabharaj and ground floor were flooded. And then we are waiting. Guru Maharaj is coming. Guru Maharaj is coming. Oya means only 10, 15, 15 people. Because I was staying chakra breathing So I could immediately go. And then Guru Maharaj came and got down from the boat and came to the chakra building reception. He has a stick and he sat like this. And then he looked around and then he said, get the potato and rice. It's seven o' clock at night. It's so dark. Those days there was no current. There is no electricity during a flood nowadays. During a flood we can get electricity. But those days flood means no electricity, no light, just pitch dark, seven o'. Clock. And he immediately said, go to get rice and get the potato. Guru Maharaj is really Bengali distribution. He doesn't order anything else. Potato analyze. And he said then other devotees, they didn't want to say no. But then Guru Maharaj came all the way. He said. And they said, yes, Guru Maharaj. That time was really. That's the mood. Whatever. Guru Maharaj said, yes, Guru Maharaj. They don't think, oh, it's night dangerous. Yes, Guru Maharaj. So the devotees took the boat in the dark and went to Navarabib, seven o' clock in the dark. And then I came back with potato and rice and cocoa Kitcher. And then Guru Maharaj personally went to the book prasadam distribution every day. And there was a boat Kitchli and Guru Maharaj and two or three devotees sitting in the boat. That's it. And every day, because I was living in chakra building, from chakra building I could see behind chakra building. Every day Guru Maharaj go with Kislee and boat. No hundred people together, just Guru Maharaj and three devotees together. And he will go every day. And he has a heart, he will go there. And then after some time they announced, anybody want to join, they can also join. Not the same boat, but then to have a more expand distribution. Then I asked if I could go. There was no Mataji there. I said that I want to go Mataji. That's good, you want to go, but you know there is no other Mataji. So you just give up. And then I said, but then I want to go. Guru Maharaj is going every day. Guruji going, I want to go. And he said, you think kitchen dwelling for other is nice, but it's not like that. Sitting above look nice. But then sometimes you cannot go with the boat. Sometimes get stuck with bushes and sometimes muddy. And you have to get down from the boat and you have to. That's what Guru Maharaj is doing. You can do. And people are hungry. They're holding a tree, holding a tree and the insect biting. Then only the Khichdikam that is the only food they can get. And people fighting, starving. And Khichdikan people can kill you still you want to go. Then I gave. But the Guru Maharaj drawed same mysterious. People are starving and they are killing each other. They didn't actually kill. But then that kind of station he was going every, every single day. It was amazing. That's what distribution. Another one funny one. During Flatmi season. Then Jhula Yatra come July Yatra. Those days it was not in a temple, it was in Gurukula. But in Gurukura was doing Mataji was last time there. They make really nice small forest. And then many devotees will see Julan in the temple. They will go to Goshada site. And then Guru Maharaj was also going there every time. But it was flat. So I thought Guru Maharaj will not go. Guru Maharaj is so determined. He got a flat that was not too high. From temple to Gosela. There was a little bit highway. So with the lecture he could sit. And the water was literally below that lecture flat. Then he will sit on the lecture. And then of course I'm there, my children are there and grima something pop on. And then he will call the children to sit on the same lecture. And they will go to go sit down and order. Mataji with the land behind the lecture. Land means water Ji Suti. And sometimes we cannot see the Lord. Sometimes we came back like that. We go to Goshala, to Sichilan and come back. And then one time he wanted to play football. Football means water ball. I had a groomer. I traveled everywhere with a ball. He's the only Sannyasi food travel with this ball I had. So he made a Bengali team and a foreigner team. And he was of course in Bengali team. And he made a gori on the other side. Gori and the center. And then someone in the boat who was the judge. And then he said, okay, we are going to win. Then he has a ball. And then he would pass by to another Bengali boy. And then Bengali boy pass by Grumaraj catch. And he would catch and hey, catch. And he would call the name and he catch. And then he would yeah, go. And he was so serious. Serious job. We are standing there and look Gurumaji really so serious. Yeah, one more game and Bengali jump on Guruvaraji. Yeah, Guruvaraji won. Then we were so happy they're playing that because that's one that time there was like a time when I came there was only Bengali devotees. There was only few couple of foreigners. But later on more few devotees started coming from different countries. And Guru Maharaj naturally give attention to the foreigner. Because they for the first time coming to Mayapuru they find the atmosphere. So he gave more attention to foreigner devotees. So Bengali devotees start thinking Guru Maharaj doesn't love us anymore because so many foreigners. And Guru Maharaj speak to them asking how are you? But then he doesn't ask to Bengali devotee anymore. So the Bengali devotees, they didn't direct to Tel Gurumaraj. But they are feeling so sad. And somehow it came to Guru Maharaj's attention that Bengali devotees are feeling so sad. And then hearing that Guru Maharaj felt so sad. And he said in the class one time, he said, Bengali devotees, my family, I consider you as my own. But then foreigners, they are the guests. They don't know this place. That's why I'm treating nicely like we treat guests. But you are my family member. I wonder you also treat these foreigner devotees as part of my family. You are the host and they are the guests. So please don't misunderstand. You are mine. You are part of mine. When my devotee heard that, they started crying and crying and crying. Because they are seriously thinking Guru doesn't love us. Guru Mahji have only fallen out. They're seriously thinking Bengali devoted, very simple hearted. They're seriously thinking. And when Guru Maharaj said everyone started crying and crying and crying and singing. Everyone crying. Gurumalaj also started crying. And then after he had that water play and yay, Guru Maharajima. Yeah, we won one more again. It was so happy and it's really nice and I was glad. Yeah, this is nice. The cross during Bhagavatam cross chastisement. I got chastisement few times. One time he was sitting on a vyasasana. He was giving class. Last time there was more devotees started coming. And then I was sitting way on the back. Then I had a habit to sit and sit like this. Like this. I don't know, you can see. And then Guru Maharaj from beyond he said like this. That means put one leg down, put the leg one up. That means don't put the two leg up. And holding like a two knees. And he was from Beelson, he was showing. I was all the way back and he was sewing like this. And I looking. I didn't understand because I'm kind of spacious. And then after some time Guru Maharaj saw me again. I'm still sitting like this. And he again did. Then I quickly put one leg down and I Started like this, just sliding like that. Yeah. Every time I sit, I remember that Guru Maharaj how he used to do another cross time. That was Panchitatabasu install. Because Panchatavata was going to install other Madhava has to wear really opulent dress. And then we work really hard to make the dress called Bird of Paradise. We made a really open dress. Then my son was small. Guru Maharaj was being crushed. And then my son wanted to go to bathroom in the middle of Guru Maharaj's class. And I was like, why now? Why you didn't tell before? But then he really emergency and I took him to the bathroom. And finally I came back. She said, keshavi, you're so fortunate. And I said, why I just took my son to the bathroom. Why I'm so fortunate? I just talking about you. I said what I miss? And then I said, what? And then she said, Guru Maharaj said, can you see today dress Ladamardev dress. My disciple Keshav made this dress. Everybody please give the blessing to her. Haribo. And then everyone clapped the hand. And then Peshava said, you so fortunate. Guru Maharaj said, like that's about. But you're so fortunate. I said, all right. I took my son to bathroom and I didn't see any photos. I miss the whole thing. I was so depressed about that other time when I was in Mayapur. Guru Maharaj was in another place. And then in another place, someone asked question and answer. That question was, she has a job, but she wanted to do some service for Krishna. She was like, kind of like staying in their house and she wanted to do the service. And she was asking and she had some education. How I can utilize my education and my work, my job to the service of Krishna. I was not there. It was America or somewhere else. In my poem, Guru Maharaj said, I have a disciple in Maya. Her name is Keisha B. From Japan. She was a fashion designer. And then she has experience making design for a dress. So she knew that she's making a design for the deities. And she married. She married off the pizzari and she stayed in my marry off the pujari. I was laughing, someone had that and she was showing me. And I was like, I should be happy or it's kind of a laughing joke. I was laughing about that. And I'm happy that Guru Maharaj is remembering me and using me as an answer to that Mataji's creation. So Guru Maharaj is telling, whatever education or job they have, they can utilize for the service of the Krishna in different ways. So that was the answer Gurumaraji was telling. But that's about marrying off the Pujari stain. My other time he was also joke about my job. Sometimes many people gathering around. As I said Guru Maharaj go here and there. He talks to anyone. We could talk to Guru Maharaj anytime. So one time he was talking with Guru people. And then he said queso beast. She could have become millionaire. She was a fashion designer. But then she gave up everything and become a penniless designer for other mother. Otherwise she could have become millionaire. And he was telling all the stories. He knows all the story. But this is another story. Bangladesh. This is plus stories finished Bangladesh story. Bangladesh story is so wonderful. Those days we didn't have a safari yet. But then after Gopunima before beyond Puja there is a one month gap. So Guru Maharaj travel different places nearby. Not overseas, but nearby. So that year he was going to Odisha and East Bengal. And then this time I was in Japan. And then I couldn't come with other devotee because I didn't collect enough Facebook distribution. But then I had money from my parents. Somehow I tricked my parents and I got some money. And then I had the money. And then I reached Mayapur. After go Purnima, Gopurima there I was in Hong Kong. And then all the devotee left. I came to Mayapur. And then finally I came. There was a Ramataji. Her name is Bichtola Basini. She's Guru Maharaj disciple in Calcutta. She said, where are you going? I said going to Mayapur. And then she said, don't go to Mayapur. You're a single woman. All the Japanese left and now you single and going there. What people think? They will think you something cruel problem or crazy. Don't go to Mayapur. And I said, better I want to go to Mayapur. I took so much trouble and so much effort. It's so hard to come to Mayapur. And I want to go to Mayapur. And she said, but Guru Maharaj not there. Oh, Guru Maharaj not there. Then I don't have to go. And then she said, Guru Maharaj went to Wali Sab. So you go there. Then she said that devotee is going there. So you go with them. Then I didn't know anything about that devotee. And I said, I heard Guru Maharaji's only son, I heard you going there. Can I come with you? And he said, oh, okay, come. And then that's devoted. I didn't know that time. But Then I had that was atma tattoo. Then he was going to go to Badalak. That is the place his wife Marini Mataji was staying. And Guru Maharaj was there. So he arranged the ticket and I didn't have any money, I didn't pay anything. But then he didn't complain. He arranged the ticket and then he went. And then I went to the place. Then I reached there and then out of blue I'm here. Just appeared and was there. He saw a forge Anthony. He came out from Marini's house. And then I pay obesis. And then I got up and went hey Keshavi Haribo Keshavi is here. And he was welcome. He didn't think what is this crazy girl? All the devotee left while she's coming. He didn't say anything like oh Keshavi Haribo Keshavi is here. And he was welcoming me so nicely. And I immediately packed up from Atmat place with that telling Guru Maharaj, I'm going there. Then I went to Guru Maharaj Kota where Mangarasaki was there. I think Latikavakti and Manjari was there. Sri Mataji was there. Then I joined that group after Guru Maharaj was going different places and I was traveling with that group only that's Sri Mataji and me four Mataji. And then Atmata Prabhu also came with that group. So there was one bus. So the bed was there where grum mothers can relax. And the side was for the men to sit. Bed is there side, men will sit on the back. There is a place where you keep the luggage. That's the place where your Matas can go. Then we're sitting in the luggage place there. And then we will go still with the same bun. So it was nice, same girl. Then we were traveling. I have no idea where they're going. And they're going different places. And Guru Maharaj said where you want to go? And all the devotees said oh Guru Maharaj, we are coming to Orissa. We want to go to Jagannathapuri. And then Guru Maharaj okay, we'll go to Jagannath Puri. It's just night. Somehow I have no idea what is Jagannathapuri. What Olisa? What where? Anyway I'm going, Guru Maharaj is here. I'm happy. Then we're going. Then we went there. There's a rooftop there. And then they brought Jagannathur Mahaprashadam. They are eating Jagannatha Prophet. Then there were the oceans, the mantica Pass in the ocean. Which was nice. And then Gurumala said, keshavi, you can go to the temple. You look like Manipul. You don't need any passport. You don't need this. Guys, just go with Manipur people. Nobody will stop you. And then I was thinking seriously, because I was little bit, oh, Guru Maharaj said, I can go. I should go with Manipur. And I was looking at Manipur. Can I go? Can I? I was thinking like that. But then I was with other devotees, so I didn't make attempt. So Indian devotee went to Jagannathu temple. I didn't go. That was all he said. Then after we went to East Bengal, different place. It's not like a big Sahari, just few of us traveling. And then it was so nice. Whole day from morning to night, Guru Maharaj was there. It's so nice. And sometimes Guru Maharaj wake up early and then asking, did you take a bath? Did you have a nice sleep? Next time when I went there also like went twice, two times. There was no big safari, small group. So we have no idea where we're going. Wherever Guru Maharaj go, we go. And then night time, when I wake up early morning, I wake up. Guru Maharaj is already up and he is asking, did you take a bath? And I said, yeah, I took a bath in Pukku because there's no shower. So we went to Phuka and I took a shower and shower meat bath in the puku. And then Guru Maharaj was also so like, he is a big guru, but look like so simple, like a villager. Like he is perfectly fitting the village atmosphere. He has no component what facilities they have. Sometimes we will reach in the middle night to one place. I have no idea what is one place. Some Namihat devotees look like that devotee are not the informed. Guru Maharaj is coming in the middle I because that bus was always breaking. And wherever the bus break, that is the place we stay. So we go there in the midnight and wake up the owner of the house. Guru Maharaj. I think we have Namihati Bodhi nearby. Then we go there and wake up the owner. And then they said suddenly Guru Maharaj just said, oh, Guru Maharaj, Guru Maharaj. They immediately empty up their room. Because Bengali means they have like inside space, one hut where the family members stay. And there is a few other places there. But immediately they move out from their own bedroom and give it to Guru Maharaj. And then they will stay someone else's house. And they will wake up the Neighbor empty up their house and let the devotees stay there like that. And even we go in the middle of night, they will see somehow arrange for Guru Maharaj stay. And then other devotees stay. And they will cut the cucumber and put the goo, cucumber and goo. And they will offer something and muri. Of course they will offer something to Guru Maharaj. And sometime we went there and Guru Maharaj said he was sitting in one hut and we are sitting Mataji sitting another hut from distance maybe 2 meter away. I was new to India. Guru Maharaj said, keshava, don't eat chili. I didn't know what is chili. I didn't know chili is hot. And Guru Maharaj have to explain keshavi, don't eat chili, chili is hot. And I said, okay, Guru Maharaj, don't eat chili, chili is hot. I didn't understand. But then Guru Maharaj said so okay. My instruction given to Guru from Guru Maharaj is I shouldn't eat chili because chili taught. That is another lesson I learned in Bangladesh. Then last time I was staying in Japan, I was visiting. So I made a jacket. Because in Japan we can get nice material. And Japan is very cold place. Naturally I think I need to make a jacket for Guru Maharaj. But in India, I came so hot. I'm carrying this jacket warm and nice with good material. It's so hot. What I'm going to do, I don't bother to even gives Guru Maharaj is so hot. And then I was keeping the bag. They don't talk about that and they don't even tell anybody. One day suddenly it became so cold because I was feeling so sad here it became so cold. And Guru Maharaj didn't have any winter clothes because it was hot. After Gopanima, before Vyasa Puja is so hot. So he didn't have any winter clothes. And then I have a winter coat and I put it this is a chance. And then I went to everyone staying in one place. And then the hut I was staying was like a few met away. And I went and I came back and I said, Guru Maharaj, I wear jacket for you. And then Guru Maharaj was because he was feeling cold and Keshav made a jacket for me. And then he immediately put on a warm one night. And I was very happy about that. And Bangladesh. Bangladesh tour means thousands thousand people come. Like 10,000, 20,000 people come. And Bangladesh is a Muslim country. But still Hindu will come and Muslim will come. And security. They are also Muslim. They are also Chantali Krishna With Guru Maharaj. When Guru Maharaj, even Muslim and security and everyone, they go so crazy. And it's so wonderful. It never happened in Japan. I was so happy about that. Then he will have a foreigner devotee stand on the stage. And he will make a competition man will encourage the audience, the Mataji to chant Hare Krishna Mahta louder. And then Mataji foreigner Mataji will encourage Bengali audience will chant louder. So there is a competition. So Vidya was really good. She will encourage Babuji. We are going to chant Hare Krishna. Then Kale Krishna, Hare Krishna then Manguru chant so loudly. And then the foreigner Mataji, I think marijuana Prabhu was also there. They will say, okay, Mataji, we are going to win. Then they will chant. They will make the Mataji chant Hare Krishna. Hare Krishna. Mataji will chant louder. Then the Mataji, Vidyan and others will tell Prabhuji did he hear this Matajita chant so loudly because foreigner men encourages your wife. And all these people chant loudly. So they chant so loudly, don't lose it. You are going to win. And she will encourage like that. Then she will make everyone's men will chant louder. And the competition is going on. I'm very shy person. I'm not good that I didn't want to enter. To encourage this. I sneaked out from the stage and I went to sit among the Bengali Matajis. And I was. You know how the Bengali sit? They would squeeze to each other. There is no space. And I'm sitting there in the middle of the Bengali crowd. And then when the Mataji Sam Guru comes and I was all Krishna, Krishna was doing that. I thought nobody will notice because such a big festival is going on. Then after the program finished, we are going back to our hut. And then Gurumai step. I think today's competition Mataji won because Keshavi was sitting in the middle. It's impossible to say because it's dark. The program always starts 9 o' clock and ends 12 o' clock in the dark. And I saw clouds. There was light on the stage, but not in the cloud. So it was impossible somehow. And then I didn't tell Guru Maharaj, I'm sneaking out. I didn't tell anybody. Somehow Guru Maharaj spoke to me. He said like that and another day because he noticed. And I don't like being on the stage and being on spotlight. And then also they were introduced. Those days there was before safari. So the Bangladesh people, they never see foreigner devotees because they don't travel so often. So on the Stage, they will introduce each devotee from there coming from so Germany tickets, America, Japan tickets. They will announce like that. I didn't like to be announced from Japan because I consider Japan is very materialistic, low class place. So whenever people ask Mataji, where are you coming from? I always say, I'm coming from Malaysia because I left Japan, I went to Malaysia. From Malaysia, I came to Mayapur. And Malaysia is very cultured place. And I used to say I'm from Malaysia. But then in that stage they always tell Japante, keshe keshavi, Haribo. That's because Bangladesh people, they like to hear different country name. So they wanted to do that. I didn't like that. Then Guru Maharaj could see that and I was trying to avoid that. And then. But the same time he wanted to encourage devotees to speak. So neither keshav, you can speak. And Gurumarja said, no, I can't. I shouldn't say no to Guru Maharaj. I don't think I said no. I said that I can't. And then Guru Maharaj said, can you say how you become devotee? I said, yes, I can. That I can do. Because I became devotee because Guru Maharaj is mercy. So now I could basically say, how wonderful, Guru Maharaj. Then there was no translator. Guru Maharaj was translator. I'm standing there, I'm speaking, speaking every single thing, every word that I spoke. Guru Maharaj was translating into Bengali. It's so embarrassing, but it's so nice. I speak Guru Maharaj translate and all the like 10,000 people watching. And every time Guru Maharaj say, I'm speaking normal thing, but Guru Maharaj speak. What I said is becoming Haribo. It is so nice. And it was so nice. And after the program, fish, penis, big garland. And then he said, I think this garland should go to Kashavi. And he gave that big garland. This was nice. And he used to come to check the lessons because he wanted to make sure everyone get. Everyone with few people get a nice place. So one place, it was so hot everywhere, so hot. But particular place there was so hot. And then Guru Maharaj asked me, did you get a place? And I said, yes, but then I don't want to stay there. The only way we could say this kind of a thing, I said, I don't want to stay there. Guru Maharaj said, why it's so hot? There was no fun. And then I said that I want to stay in the car. Then I was. Because that's. I was not feeling so well. During a program, I Was staying in the car to take rest. So I said no need of a house and I just stay in it. I thought that I'm very humble. So I said I will stay in a cup. And then Guru Maharaj didn't say anything. He just said as a devotee, bring some hand fun. And some devotee brought hand fun. He had fun. Take the fun and go to your place. And then I took. Thank you Maharaj. And I took the fun and I went to the hot place and sleeping with her. And later on I found out actually that car where I said that I want to stay was a place where Guru Maharaj is going to stay. Guru Maharaj didn't say I'm going to stay, so you go. He didn't say take hand funnel and go to your place. And later on only I found out from someone else. So Guru Maharaj will make sure everyone will get the place. And if they don't get enough place, he will stay in the car. He's so caring and he will sacrifice and his own comfort. He will just stay in the car overnight. And he never tell anybody just to stay in the car like that. He would be like that. Bangladesh is so nice. Bangladesh is so nice because very close atmosphere. And then everywhere we go, everyone so devotional. I don't know those people. They don't know us. But then they will immediately ashan, ashom, bosham, boshon, jolakbe. Immediately they will say like dt, vasi, Purusha, Idhana, sana, swagatan, swagatan. They will immediately do. They don't even think immediately. Come, come. Sit down. You want water? Then they will come with so nice. And Guru Maharaj really like Bangladesh. He said one time Bangladesh is most devotional country. And when he gave initiation like hundred of another country. That's much karma and no other way. One foreigner devotees initiation that much karma and 100,000 Bangladesh devotees karma. That is about same balance. That means Bangladesh they don't have such a heavy sinful reaction. So look like Guru Maharaj giving initiation hundred thousand devotees in Bangladesh. But then he considered that karma is equipped with one foreigner. What is how much they are holding like that? So that is one of the story. Then after sometime he got stroked. We are so sad. We are praying to Krishna. Everyone's crying. And then I saw one time we are looking at Nasingadev crying in a plane. And then I saw some light was coming there on Nasinga devs. And then I thought maybe I'm just imagining. But then I saw Nitai Bhaktini Chananda Maharaj. He also said and he also saw same thing. He said, did you see Mataji? The light was coming to Nasingadev. That's when he was breathing. He was not stopping. After the stroke, the blood was flowing, it was not stopping. And so the doctor said 99.9% there is no hope. And then we saw the light. And then Bhaktini Chanda Maharaj told me, did you see that light? And I said, yes, and I'm seeing also. And then it was not my imagination. He was saying that. Then after that we heard the news that flood was stopped. So now we are convinced that Nasingadev gave the light stop that breathing of Guru Maharaj. Then after he started recovering. Then after sometime he came back. And I thought that after such a stroke he would not remember me. But then every time he see me Kevi Kei Shabi I was so happy he remembered me. And then before the stroke he was telling me I have to do the Internet preaching for Japanese. He didn't mind that I stayed staying in Mayapuru. But then because I know Japanese, I should do a preaching. I said, but then I don't know how to use and I don't even know how to turn on the computer. There was no computer in Mayapur's stage. And Guru Maharaj is always ahead. He's the one who started email for the first time. And then all the online program. Guru Maharaj started before anybody else. It was like a revolution. He's always ahead of everything. And he was telling me I have to do the Internet preaching when there was no computer in Mayapur. And then he said, okay, I will put one body in Mayapur. So he will teach you. You do this service. And he put Shyamalasika. He was in South India. But then he told sustain Mayapur and this computer Internet preaching. Then there was no more excuse. And I started doing that. But then wasn't so good because I'm the very good battle preaching. And then I was computer and preaching both of them. I was bad. And then I was busy with other things. Then I thought he forgot about it. And then he got a stroke. For sure he forgot about. And first time when Guru Maharaj came back, first time he came back and he spoke to me. He said, keshavi, are you doing Japanese Internet printing? I said, Guru Rajanamurai, every single time when Guru Maharaj Singh after the stroke, he he would ask how is the Internet preaching? How is the preaching? And one time we started doing the Skype. I don't know if this is there. It's called Skype. Then I was going to CDM office. Then last time, Kontia Prabhu and Shilade was there. And then that's her name, Kontya Prabhuz, his wife. She was there. And then they were doing sky preaching. Then she said, oh, I can teach you. And then she was teaching me. And then I started doing a little bit and I spoke with two people. Then somehow it came to Guru Maharaj. And then Guru Maharaj said, keshava is preaching in Skype. 2,000 people. Then I preached only two people. And I said, no, not two. And I go, 2,000 people. I said, two people. 2,000 people. Guru Maharaj's got sisters. Then she was there. She was also doing some kind of Internet preaching. And then she was also rooftop. I was also rooftop. And she called Yashamati Matri Mataji. Come, come, come. I have to tell you something. You're doing Internet preaching, right? And then Matu Mataji said, yes, I'm doing this and that. And she explained what she was doing. And then Guru Maharaj, look at me, Kirshavi, my disciple, preaching to Japanese, 2,000 people in the sky. I was like so embarrassed. It was like that. It's just embarrassing. But then Guru Maharaj was hoping that I will do in the future, I think. Then I started doing Bhakti Shastri. Then in Bhakti Shastri other place, he will say, in this place In South India, 7,000 people doing bhakti Shastri. Ha. He will tell it every time in the class. 7,000 rupees, 6,000 rupees. So many people. Then I have like 15 people doing this. And then I asked Rumar if he could send the message for not whole Bhakti Shastri. First unit of bhakti shastri for 15 people. Can you send some voice message? I asked Shammala Sikha if he can send a video clip. Two, three minutes, one. But then he decided that he will join that meeting personally. And he came on the live and he spoke encourage people. And then last time there was an Olympic in Japan. It was a Covid. But somehow they decided to do the Olympic. So he said, this Olympic is happening in Japan and they are giving gold medal. But this pact Shastri in Japan is more. And God made our. He was encouraging so nicely. Then after that he was giving Bhagavatam class for some other people, not for Japanese. And he said, in Japan, my disciples doing bhakti shastri for 18 people. Haribo other people, 6000 haribo. As if it's as big as same bigness. 18 people haribo. Even that was excavated because we have 15. I said 15 and I said only first unit of Bhakti Shashi. Not the whole thing. But he said 18 instead of 15 and as big as 6,000. He said 18 people Bhakti Shastri Haribo. He was doing that. And then I told Shamanska it was 15, not 18. And then it's not whole Bhakti chastity. It's only fast unit. And Shamanska said it's okay, Guru Maharaja vision you will do. And I took him. That's why was Guru Maharaj's vision. In the future it will be big like thousands people like that. So Guru Mahaj was always encouraging then Bhakti Shasrip. So Bhakti Shashri. We're talking about Bhakti. I was very self motivated. I have two children there time soon I couldn't do back to Shastri fast. And I wanted to go back to sh. There was no Bhakti chastity. Only in Vrindavan for the first time when it came to Mayapur there was no Mataji want to do Bhakti Shastri. And they told Mataji there was no Mataji doing. So this time don't do. But then I thought after the children become certain, it becomes so difficult. So I want to do this time. And they told no, I didn't do. Then after I think first Bhakti Shastri Mayapur at Navali and then Hemagopi did in Maypur. And then Guru Maharaj is so happy. And then they did Bhakti Chastity. Oh, I really wanted to, but I couldn't do. Then every time he come for Japan walk during that festival time, he will ask Bhakti Shastri student, how are you? How is Bhakti Shastri doing? He will ask each student I'm standing. You know, I couldn't do. I wanted to. I couldn't do. Every year, almost every day and I was sitting one day I and Bhakti Shasti certificate. Guru Maharaj will give certificate and giving encouragement. And then I really wanted to. I was always going certificate giving ceremony as like an outsider watching. One day I will one day thinking like that. Then finally my children grown up. I could do Bhakti Chastity. And that year I couldn't manage go to Stalok. So there was no how are you? How are you Bhakti Shastri. I was so sad. The Whole Bhakta Shastri three months that I was crying and crying and crying. I couldn't get how are you? How is Bhakti Shastri? I just cried for three months and then finished the exam and a certificate. Guru Maharaj is in the hospital and he was going to come back. And that time Jamba Swamiprabhu was in charge of Bhakti Shastri Mayapur institute. And then he just reach few days before certificate giving. And then it was considered them on the side. There is a small park there. There they made a little pandal and the Guru Maharaj came and he spoke. And then I told Jamma Sami Prabhupada I want to get certificate from Guru Maharaj's hand. If I can't then I will die in front of your house. Then everyone think okay, so Mataji died in front of Jan Masami's house. Because he didn't realize that Guru Maharaj gave certificate to Keshe Mataji. Then Jammasami Probabil got so intimidated. So he actually asked Guru Maharaj if he can do so. They have like the Shakhtar certificate ceremony in the summer. He actually came. Guru Maharaj actually came with. And then he came and then and they announced each name and then Guru was holding Bhakti chastity certificate. And they called my name. And then I got from Guru so happy. And then I got Bhakti chastity certificate. And then the following years and I did Bhakti Bhai Bhava. Then later Bhaktived Vedanta. Then in Bhakti Bhai Baba also I couldn't get the. Oh I got, maybe I could. And Bhakti Bhaiva Bhaktived Vedanta that was the first one back to Vedanta graduate in Mayapur. So they are making big things about it that then Guru Maharaj couldn't come. Because according to Shamarasika they made a certificate giving ceremony on Panchita by extension. And Guru Maharaj couldn't go upstairs. And also they made another program same time, same day saying Guru Maharaj have to go there. Because that place was more easy access. So Guru Maharaj couldn't go. And I was so sad and I was complaining. I couldn't get the tease back to Vedanta Saktihiketura Guru Maharaj I was complaining so much. Anyway I got certificate and then Guru Maharaj used to give I think Chaitanya Rida cross or some kind of cross he was giving every evening. So I went there and then another Devotee, she got Bhakti Shastri Das there. And she was telling Guru Maharaj, I go to Bhakti Shastri certificate, please give your blessing. And then Guru Maharaj is giving blessing. And then because that person did and so many other Dr. Shastri student guru Maharaj I also got the certificate. I also want to blessing. And then the servant announced, okay, if we ever got certificate you can come. And then from Guru Maharaj's hand. He didn't directly. But then they will collect all certificate and Guru Maharaj in the hand. And then he will behind the grass case. But then he will go like that. Everyone say Haribo. Say the name and Haribo. And then of course grass case is there. We are not receiving directly. And then I immediately got up. And then it was so cloud. So we have to go through the cloud. I was thinking, I hope I can reach there. One time it was only like a few meters away. But it's so crowd and I don't want to step over. So I was taking sometimes somehow I reached there and servant took. And then we are giving out Bhattishasura certificate from Guru Maharaj's hand. And then my certificate against Guru Maharaj Khan was still putting. Guru Maharaj is touching my certificate. And I was so happy. Then they said, okay, this is Keshe Mataji back to Vedanta and angry. And then he was like loud and he sang. And someone said, this is not Bhakti, this is Bhaktived. And then Gurumaji like I think my image is like a little bit stupid. So he didn't believe that Keshe Bhakti veranda. It must be mistake that kind of impression. He had another Keshe Bhaktived. It's a mistake. What are you talking about? But anyway it said. So I said, okay, so you've activated on the Ali board. And everyone clapped their hand. And then I got the certificate. He hold and he gave the servant. And the servant gave back to me. And I was very happy about that. Yes. So I encourage everyone to take Bhakti Sahastri, Bhakti Verada, Bhakti Bhai Bhava. Guru Maharaj's mercy is always there. Somehow someone who doesn't deserve will get the mercy. And Guru Maharaj is encouraging everyone to do this course just so that Guru Maharaji will smile on you. Of course, main thing is study Bhagavada's book. And so that we can preach and help others. And we get Guru Maharaj smile many other things. There but then, in short, Guru Maharaj is so wonderful and so merciful. Guru Maharaj is our life and soul. And he is everything for me. Thank you very much. Hare Krishna. Hare Krishna. Krishna Krishna Hare Hare Hare.