Lava-Mātra: A Moment with Jayapatākā Swami by HG Deva Mādhava Dāsa #JayapatakaSwamiArchives

Hare Krishna. My name is Deva Madhavadas. And I joined the devotees in 2010 in Detroit. And prior to that, I was growing up in North Carolina. This is in the US and I graduated college in 2019. And during my college years, I had sold books door to door. But not Prabhupada's books, not yet. They were kind of like encyclopedias. So a year after I graduated, I was having a lot of questions in my heart. I was looking for something, but I didn't know what that something was. And somehow a voice was telling me to go to Detroit, which was the famous city in the US because it used to be very wealthy. All the auto manufacturers are from there. Ford and Chevy and Dodge, these famous companies. But Detroit had become economically very depressed. So it was like a third world country. And many people when I said, I want to go to Detroit, they said, what, are you crazy? No one wants to go to Detroit. Everyone wants to leave Detroit. But somehow my heart was telling me, go there, go there, go there. So. So I was selling books door to door with my friends in Highland Park, Chicago, which some of you would probably know is where his Holiness Radnath Maharaj is from. That's where he was born. So I didn't know, but I was there at the time. And this is when the voice was getting louder and getting louder. Go to Detroit. So finally I listened. And Chicago and Detroit are very close. So I just got on a bus and went four hours to the east. And I showed up in Detroit one morning, and all I had was a bicycle, three T shirts, and one pair of shorts. So I was basically homeless. And I started going around in the city door to door. So first thing I needed to do was find a place to stay. And they had taught us how to ask for people to allow us to stay in their homes because we were college students, we were working hard, we were selling these educational books. So people liked to help us and support us. They saw that we were honest. And so I found a place to stay. I would later find out that that place that I stayed was just two houses down from the second temple that the devotees had in Detroit, just around the corner. There's many famous pictures of Prabhupada in that temple, actually, and one famous one of devotees and Prabhupada standing out front with the devotees all around. Prabhupda in the garden, Prabhupada standing in the center. And now in that exact same place where Prabhupada is standing in the picture is a mortius statue of St. Francis. Because now a Catholic, like halfway house owns that home. So Prabhupada is where he was now, St. Francis standing. So I had no idea any of this yet. But I managed to meet one kind gentleman who had a very big old house and no children left. And so he said, sure, you can stay with me and you can go around selling your educational books. He had some heart for the cause I was spending speaking about. So I was going door to door there in Detroit, and I was having a very difficult time because I really didn't want to make money anymore. I wasn't very good at that anymore. You lose that passion, then it all becomes meaningless. And you just. So I was just going door to door and asking people questions about the meaning of life and what they thought the city of Detroit should do to try to fix the problems it was experiencing. I was really searching myself. What's the answer? What's the answer? What's the answer? And I was more and more seeing the depression and the difficulty that those people were in. I was more and more recognizing whatever the answer is, I'm not going to come up with it. I'm not going to be the one that figures it out and brings some new idea that no one's ever thought of. Any idea I could think of is something somebody else has already come up with and it's not working. And this is the feeling I was getting more and more after graduating college. I already had that sense of things, but. But then it was increasing and increasing and increasing. And being in this place, Detroit, which used to be so wealthy and was now so impoverished, so poor, I was really feeling that. And in that state of heart and mind, I knocked on the door of the temple president and I first spoke to his wife, and I said, I have educational books for young children. Would you like to see them? And she said, yes, we'd like to see them, but you have to come back when my husband's home. So I didn't realize, but she was already plotting to get her husband to preach to me. She saw me as some candidate of some kind. It's not every day you have a guy knock on your door selling books. So I came back and her husband was there. His name was Bharat at the time, but now his name is Brajkumar. He's initiated by Radhanath Maharaj, but at the time his name was Bharat. And he sat me down and instead of buying one of my books, I took one of his books. I took RLA Prabhupda's science of self realization, which he gave to me as a gift. And he was telling me, after a nice long hour conversation about Ka consciousness, he was telling me about the Sunday feast and how they had a beautiful mansion, the Fisher Mansion, there in Detroit, just around the corner. And I could come on a Sunday. There would be a program, and there would be a nice prasadam, nice feast. And, you know, when you invite somebody, you ask them, like, too many times if they're going to come. You'll say, are you going to come? I can come pick you up. Let me know. We'll figure some ride out for you. So he was trying to make sure that I would show up. But in my own heart, I was already feeling like, this is why I've come to Detroit. I didn't know why my heart had said, come to this place, because I had no family, no friends, no money, no home. But now, upon meeting this one person, I felt, this is why I'm here. I went on that Sunday and felt immediately like, this is home. There's no question. I'd already been reading SSR and felt Prabhupda was answering questions that everybody else used to get angry at me for even asking. And so I already felt very moved by his presentation of the philosophy. And then when I heard the kirtan and took the prasadam, and I had one moment where I remember in the Fisher mansion, the temple room is a ballroom. It's a big old ballroom, very beautiful, because the first president of Cadillac Motors, the first man to make cars, Cadillac owned that house. He built that house, and his ballroom has a balcony. And so the devotee was giving me a tour of the temple. And I was standing up on the balcony, and I remember looking down at the deities and particularly looking down at Jagannath. The balcony is in the back, and then the temple is up front. The altar is up front. I remember looking down at Jagannath and feeling awkward that I was up high and he was down low. Somehow I had that intuition that that's not how it should be. So immediately, a lot of impressions happened in my heart while I was at the temple that day. And one of them was hearing about Guru Maharaj. There were two people that I remember the devotees discussing. One was Ayindra Prabhu, and the other was Guru Maharaj. It was my first day at the temple. Ayendra Prabhu had passed away that same week. He departed on, I think, Wednesday of that week. This was July of 2010. And so that Sunday feast, I was there So a lot of the devotees were discussing Ayendra Prabhu and his departure. And then the other person devotees were discussing were Guru Maharaj. I just happened to get into a little group of devotees who were discussing him. And I don't remember what they were saying, but I remember some feeling in my heart like, this is your teacher. I don't know how or why. I had no idea of spiritual master and guru, nothing like that yet. But there was some feeling in my heart like, this is your person. But they were speaking about Gurumraj as though he had passed away or as though he was like out of commission and he had just had his stroke only a few years before. So it's understandable. They were discussing his treatment and how things were going and how he wasn't doing what he used to do, all that. And so I was very young, very new. It was my first day, so I had no idea what was going on. But there was some intuition already that Guru Maharaj was my spiritual master. And then, so it was a couple months went by. I had a girlfriend in New York City who I was still seeing, going back and forth from Detroit to New York. And one day, just a funny little story about how I actually moved into the ashram there in Deva Siddhan Mandir in Detroit one day. I'm going to the temple now regularly, and. And I see that the devotees are setting up for some festival. And it's like a Tuesday, so it's not Sunday. It's not a weekend. What's the celebration? And one devotee says, oh, we're going to celebrate Shiv Ratri. We're going to worship Lord Shiva. We're going to do that here in Mayapur Dham in a few days. So maybe appropriate. And immediately my red flags went off because now I'm reading Prabhupada's books. And Prabhupada says, no worshipping demigods, no worshiping Devatas. We just worship Krishna. So my red flags went off. I said, no, no, no, we shouldn't do this. Why are we doing this? It's wrong. I'm like three months in, I know nothing. But I think I know this much. So the devotee, he calms me down. He says, no, no, don't worry. It's like we worship Tulsi Devi. You ask Tulsi Devi for blessings in the morning to be able to serve Krishna, and we worship her. So you can worship Mahadev, Lord Shiva, in that same way. You ask him for blessings. And specifically he told me, ask Mahadeva to remove your obstacles in Bhakti. So I took this devotee's encouragement, I trusted him and I took part in the Shivratchary Puja that evening. And I asked Lord Shiva, they actually have a beautiful murti of him that Ambarish Prabhu purchased as a part of the museum of the Fisher Mansion. Because as some of you may know, this property was purchased by Ambarish Prabhu in Lekha Sivanti Mata and turned into a cultural exhibit. One of the first Fate museums was put in the Fisher Mansion. Prabhupada saw this as a very important piece of property for our preaching. And he knew that people would be attracted because it's an old rich guy's house. People like to see nice things and in their attraction to that, they'll become attracted to Krishna. And Prabhupada is right still today, although that kind of energy is not given to the space anymore, still so many people are coming wanting to see the old rich guy's house. So Ambarish Prabhu had purchased a lot of classic Indian art and one of the pieces was this beautiful deity of Lord Shiva. Chanting Japa, a marble deity of Lord Shiva. So we worship him at least once a year. So I do the Shivratri celebration and then three days later I get an email from my girlfriend and she's telling me it's over 100%, no more, no more, no more. She was not so happy that I was becoming a devotee, etc. So once I saw that email, I said Jai Mahadev and I understood that this was the mercy I'd been asking for. I didn't have the heart to break the relationship. Although I was becoming more and more devoted to my practice and wanting to move in the temple the devotees were inviting me to. But still I just. It didn't. I didn't have the courage to do it myself. So Lord Shiva helped me in that way. As soon as I got that email, this was like February of 2011. I moved into the temple that day. There's more to share there. About my joining. I had in between living in the temple and my place there near the old temple with the kind gentleman. I had actually moved into a Catholic church and was staying with a man who was starting a Catholic church there in Detroit. And that's its whole own little stories. Krishna was keeping me close in special ways without me really being even aware of it yet. But I moved in in 2011 and then I took shelter of Gurumraj that Same year at Panihati, where many of us have met him. New Panihati Dham in Atlanta. My godbrother, Advaita Pran had invited me there. So somehow I was a little bit of an eccentric person. And I had reasoned after I was living in the temple for a few months, so it may have like, May. I'd been living in the temple since February. And I reasoned that, as Prabhupada says, in one purport, every step that one takes in the material energy without the shelter of a spiritual master is a dangerous one. And so I wanted to keep myself in that consciousness that every step I take without the shelter of a spiritual master is a dangerous one. And so I decided to not wear shoes anymore. And I started walking around Detroit and everywhere else barefoot. And this caught the attention of some of the devotees, of course, and they tried to encourage me. I didn't have to do such austerities. But somehow this was something I settled on in my heart. And it was okay because there was no bhakta leaders around. There was no present authorities in my life. So I kind of got away with these kind of speculative things sometimes. So my God brother, Advaita Pran, our godbrother, Advaita Prabhupada, he was going to see Guruj in Atlanta, and he said, hey, why don't you come see my gurudev with me and come to this wonderful festival, Panihati, Chipped rice. All the devotees come from all over the East Coast. It's this wonderful thing. So I said, yeah, this sounds excellent. And we got on a plane and I understood, oh, this is the person, Jayapataka Swami, who I'd kind of heard about and had some feeling in my heart for. And this person is his disciple. So this is a nice chance to go get to meet him. And we flew to Panihati, and I'm seeing all these devotees seeing the Atlanta temple. It's beautiful. And Gurumraj's rainbow of all the devotees who come from Alaktra and New York all over the place to come and see him. South America. And Gurumraj is arriving to the airport. And so I'm very excited. I'm thinking it's like Prabhupada days. The great devotee is coming. We're all going to go greet him at the airport. So Vedasar Prabhu and a couple other Atlanta devotees, they're getting in the car, and Advaita Prabhup invites me. He says, would you like to come? I'm like, yeah, I'll come, but nobody has a Merdunga. So I like, run and get a mrodunga, thinking that we're gonna have kirtan in the airport. And we get to the airport, and Vedasar Prabhup, he realizes somehow the devotee who is supposed to bring the garland forgot, so there's no garland to give Guru Maharaj. And I'm already feeling a little disappointed because I see nobody's enthusiastic to do kirtan. And now we don't have a garland. So I start running around the Atlanta airport because it's a kind of. It's a very big airport. And so they have little shops in front of the security, like little stores. Even you don't have to go back through the security to be able to go to shops. They have many little shops in the front, like little convenience stores and things, magazine stalls. And I start buying all. There's like individual roses that you buy for your girlfriend, your boyfriend, whatever, your mom when she's coming off the plane. So I just started buying all these little individual roses and I bought a little sewing kit and tried to piece together this very unattractive garland. And once I'd put it together, I looked at the thing and I felt so embarrassed by it that I made Advaita Pran actually give it to groom Raj because I was so embarrassed. It didn't look very good. But I was also, you know, he. I was going to just put it aside altogether, but he said, no, no, no, we have to give it. You made it. This is nice. But it was. It was very. You couldn't actually thread the roses through the center because the needle was too small, so it kept breaking. So you had to thread the roses through the side. So it had. It was like wobbly and off centered. So it was a very first experience of trying to offer something to Gumaraj, but it not really being worthy of him. But still we tried to offer anyway. So that was my first little service that I did for him, was trying to piece together a garland there in the airport. We go back to Atlanta Temple and he's coming in the home where he stays, and somehow his shoes have to be taken off and his house shoes be put on. And somehow I was right there and somebody said that that had to be done. And so I just dropped right away and got to touch his lotus feet and put his shoes on and off. I didn't know that anybody does that or doesn't do that, but I took the chance to do it as soon as somebody said something like that has to be done. So I had many sweet little exchanges with Gurumraj like this over the course of the weekend until it was time to leave and head back to Detroit. And so Advaita param Prabhu and brought myself and him up to go see Guru Maharaj to say goodbye. And on the way out, in that last little exchange, Gurumraj asked me a very specific question. He said, is there anything I can do for you? And he looked at me with those eyes. And I felt in my heart right away that it was like this burning fire, that, yes, of course there's something he can do for you. You can ask him to give you shelter. You can ask him to be your spiritual master. And there was a very specific super soul. Felt like I was being told to use a very specific language, that I had to ask Gurumraj explicitly for help. I had to use that word, I need your help. Otherwise I would be hiding some way. This word admitting that I need help was something that I needed to do to Guru Maharaj directly. And so I used that language. I said, guru Maharaj, I need your help to come closer to Krishna and I would like you to accept me as your aspiring disciple. And I took his Pranam mantras there and took his shelter at that time in Atlanta. And then. And a few months later, I was Advaita Pran, that same devotee. He was planning to have some surgery on his leg because he wanted to get a few months off of work. And again, me and my reading of Prabhupada's books and my enthusiasm as a new devotee. I said, what kind of nonsense is that? What kind of service would you be able to do if you're laid up in bed for months and you don't even have have to have this surgery. You just want to so you don't have to go to work. Instead of wasting your time laying in bed, why don't you go to the dam? And I'd never been to India. I'd never been to the dam, but I wanted to, of course. And so I was telling my Godbrother he should go to the dam instead of going to the hospital and having them do a surgery on his leg that he didn't need. And somehow that he's a very sweet person. And that triggered him. He said, prabhu, you're right. Instead of saying, who's this new kid, this pank who's telling me what to do? He said, prabhu, you're right. And I'm going to take you with me. So he arranged. He was leaving. He decided we were going to leave in two weeks. And that was very hard for me because I had no passport yet, I had no visa yet. So I had to get a lot of things together. I'd run away from home. So I didn't even have my birth certificate. But my mom sent me my birth certificate from the house, and the postage mark on it read 108. So I understood, okay, Krishna's got me. I'll be able to see him in Mayapur and go see my Guru Maharaj. And it was understood, potentially, I would get initiated if I could go, I would go see Mahaprabhu and Guru Maharaj in Mayapur if I just did all the things I needed to. And so I did. And in Gorpunim of 2012, I took initiation from Gurmraj with Advaita Prana Prabhu bringing me to Mayapur for the first time. The most memorable part of that experience, aside from getting initiated by Gurumraj, was seeing Gurumraj's enthusiasm for the Navadvi mando parikrama and the condition that he was in physically. But how every day, he would visit every single parikrima party. The Russians, the Hindi, the two Bengalis, the international party, five parties every day. Guru Maharaj would go around to the five places that they were in Navadabidam and give some katha. And it was such a physical, visceral demonstration for me that this person is not his body. This person, even at one point he insisted on being carried down in his wheelchair along the Triveni, which the devotees are on the bank of this. It's a very steep bank down to this river. For the devotees that remember, for those who don't know, it's like it's dangerous. Gumraj, he literally could just go tumbling and there would be nothing anybody could do about it. But he insisted on being brought down to the devotees so that he could give katha about the Triveni and the importance of that place. And I saw in him this passion for sharing the glories of Navadvidam. And since then, for myself, when I come to Mayapur, of course I feel Gurumraj's presence here on ISKCON campus, but I feel his presence most out in the dam itself, in the holy places, where there's maybe not a lot of traffic, not a lot of people, not a lot of concrete and marble, but the presence of Mahprabhu and his associates can be felt. And Gurumraj has worked tirelessly to be able to allow me and so many devotees all over the planet to come and be in their presence in that sacred place. And it's my conviction this is one of the most treasured offerings that Guru Maharaj has made to Rla Prabhupda. So I remember that effort he was giving in the Navadip Mandu Parikrma that first year that I came in Mayapur more than any other memory.

Do you remember the interview for initiation?

A little bit? I don't remember. I remember I had Daiva Shakti Mataji for my second initiation and I was very intimidated by her. I felt somehow it wasn't true, of course, but somehow I felt like she didn't like me. And so I was very intimidated in my second initiation, which I took in Panihati Atlanta in 2013. But for first initiation, I just remember being in office in JPS office. And I don't remember which devotee gave me the written exam, but I remember just taking the written exam. It was hard because I was doing Navdeep Mandal Parikrma. So I would have to come back like every day, get on the bus, come back, try to make it to the office before the office closed, fill out some paperwork, some other form, get things together to be able to get initiated. It was a bit of an austerity, but of course it was worth it. On initiation day. I also remember that Bhakti Nithyananda Maharaj took Sannyas that day and he was another devotee who that year on the parikrama and going forward until he recently departed. I remember him being so enthusiastic on the parikrama particularly he was my favorite devotee to her Katapharam aside from Guruj on the parikrama. He had such a passion for Mahprabhu's Leela and he always shared sweet pastimes of Gurumraj. Also he would tell us little stories about Guru Raj being out in the village. I remember. I'm sure this pastime has been shared. But he was mentioning how there's a festival once a year that happens at Hamsevihan and flowers are offered. Special flowers that are seasonal are offered to Hamsa Vihan, the deity of Lord Shiva who's going to hear Gor Bhagavat by taking Lord Brahma's swan carrier. So this is out on Godram Dweet and beautiful ancient deity. And the tradition during this festival is that you offer these little flower buds and then if you offer some prayer to Mahadev and He accepts that prayer. He grants that benediction. Whatever you're asking, the flower will pop. And so there's this anticipation that there's crowds that gather. And of course, the Hare Krishnas are out there chanting Hare Ka and distributing prashad and all kinds of different devotees and different pilgrims are coming to offer some prayer and try to see Lord Shiva's blessings manifest. And Bhakti Nithyanandamaraji is sharing that. All day, no flowers had popped. So everybody was a little down, a little depressed, and a little sad. Maybe Mahadeva is not accepting any of our offerings anymore. Maybe it doesn't work. So they approached Guru Maharaj and he said, you please. The Pujari said, you please come offer. Because they knew Guru Maharaj was some special personality. So you please come offer some flowers to Mahadeva and, you know, invoke his blessings. Please, you know, make. Make the day auspicious. And so Guruj was a little reluctant because obviously most people are going to Lord Shiva for blessings other than ka consciousness and things spiritual. Most people are coming from mundane things. So the devotees make a point on that day to kind of not approach Lord Shiva, to appear like we're also engaged in some kind of karma khanda activity. But Gurumraj felt sympathy for the Pujaris. So he went and he offered two flowers to Lord Shiva and both flowers popped. And later on, Bhakti nitin. So everybody, the whole festival, all the Pujaris, of course, they were so happy. Okay, it works. Lord Shiva is still there. He still cares. He's still with us. And Maharaj asked Guru Mahraj afterwards what Gurumraj asked about. And Guru Mahraj said, for protection of ISKCON and for one particular situation going on in ISKCON and that Mahadeva gave his blessings that all things will work out as required. So Bhakti Maharaj got his sannyas the same day that I took Harinam Diksha. And so I remember that very well, along with. Because I already had affection for him from the Navadvit Parikrma. And then all the years forward, he would be one of my favorite speakers and devotees out there on the parikrama. And then also the other thing, I remember seeing so many Chinese devotees in my initiation. There was like 35 of them. And it was so exciting. I was like, wow, this Gurumraj is inspiring people in countries he can't even physically go. He doesn't speak their language. But still, they're so inspired by him. They're coming all the way to Mayapur to take initiation. So that was what I remember from my first initiation experience.

And he gave your name?

Oh, yes. So he, Guru Maharaj gave my name, Deva Madhavadas. And I thought he didn't say the whole thing because it was so short compared by the time in 2012. Names have gotten a little long now and creative, you could say. But in my case, short, sweet. My name is Devin o'. Rourke. So Devin and Deva is very close to each other. And then Madhava, I was in the land of Madhava, so I felt it was a very sweet, affectionate name Gurumraj gave, letting me know I'm a servant of this place. And don't forget Mayapur, I'm taking initiation here, so I have to do something for this place. And that's his instruction to me in a way, by giving me that name, Deva Madhava, in the land of Radha Madhava. And also I was born spiritually in Detroit. So we all know this beautiful Bhajan Jaya, Radha Madhava Kunjabihari. And the deities in Detroit are Radha Kunjabihari. So there's Anne. Detroit is where Ambarish Prabhu was born and grew up. And as part of Ford Motor Company, he did so much service for RLA Prabhupada, including building Radha Madhava's house here, the tobp. So there's this intimate connection between Radha Madhava and Radha Kunda Bihari. I feel, and I have some opportunity to be a part of that special connection by having my own connection to those two places. So when Guru Maharaj gave me this name, Deva Madhava, it was also this indication for me to maintain that connection and try to encourage it, feel it in my service.

Do you have a personal interview with Guru Maharaj for the second initiation?

Personal interview for Guru Maharaj? I don't think I did. I had when I was traveling with him in summer of 2013, so I was already getting to spend a lot of time with him. And I don't think I had a specific, like, interview with Gurumraj. We were just getting to spend. I was getting to spend a lot of time with him and serve him in personal ways, be there for different exchanges. So I think again, Daivishakti Mata was my interviewer. And yeah, she asked a lot of questions on the second initiation exam. So I remember sitting with her in the lawn of the Panihati festival and having those. Guru Maharaj gave us our Gayatris personally. And I Remember that down in the house where he stays after the initiation ceremony? I remember that very well.

Could you tell us about, like, one day of Gur Maharaj helping servants of Kur Maharaj or when you repeat Guru Maharaj classes, what is the speech? Had you been noticed in Guru Maharaj?

Yeah, one day, being with him as a servant. Well, one thing I was discussing with the devotee the other day because Gurumraj is thinking of traveling again, is that it's exhausting to travel with Gurumraj. I don't know how he does it. Like, it's, again, just something that. It's almost cliche because we all have to admit it at this point that he's so clearly not. His body is not news because his body gave up on him decades ago, but he did not give up on serving prabhupada. So traveling with Gumraj is exhausting. And I was 24. I was 25 years old, like, Brahmachari shaved up, you know, fire. And I was exhausted just traveling in America, my own country. It's not even like I'm going jet lag, anything like that. Just Gumraj going around to few places. In my own country, I'm totally exhausted. And I remember one instance this. Well, yeah, I'll share that in a moment. But another instance, kind of a day of the life, I just started seeing how so much of what is done for Guru Maharaj is not exactly necessary, but he's allowing it to be done. And there was this one exchange that he had with one devotee who's a little fussy, let's say, and in a good way. He's very attentive to Gurumraj and sometimes overly attentive. So this devotee was wiping Gurumraj's cheek for the 14th time in two minutes with a tissue. And Gurumraj, I caught his eye, and it was kind of like that look of like, again, it's not necessary, but for you, you're having to do this again just to kind of create some service for yourself. And I caught eyes with Gurumraj at that time, and I just became overwhelmed with laughter. This was in New Orleans Pradharadakanta, the actual New Orleans temple, not out in New Taliban. And I just became overwhelmed with laughter. And Guru Maharaj started to chuckle. And I remember collapsing on the bed. I was literally just overcome because I suddenly, for a moment, saw how Gumraj didn't need anything from anybody. He was just letting all of us do something for ourselves. And sometimes that was kind of funny to him. Sometimes he gets a kick out of it that we think he needs us so much, but really we're the ones that need him. And the joke is on us in that way. And for a moment, Guru Maharaj let me into that place and he overwhelmed me with this, like, laughter, which made me collapse. And the other Mahavirah Prabhu is looking at me like, what's this kid that we've led onto the team? Now he's just, like, collapsing in front of his guru. But it was sweet, very funny. And from that point on, I started to recognize that Guru Maharaj has kind of accepted a deity form. And without him being in the place that he is, physically, so many devotees all over the planet wouldn't have a reason to do service to a great soul. But because he's in this particular form, so many people, disciples, well wishers, doctors, common people of all kinds are having to do this very exceptional service. We hear about how dear Mahprabhu felt Ishvarapuri was because he took care of Matavendrapuri in a very intimate way when Matavendrapuri at the end of his life was apparently an invalid and he had to be helped while he was going to the bathroom and things like that. Isvarapuri's surrender in that moment attracted the mercy of Mahprabhu, such that Mahprabhu wanted to take initiation from him. How many devotees, hundreds, have been in that kind of situation with Guru Maharaj? What to speak of the many other services that are done, not because Guru Maharaj needs it, but because we do. And he's accepted that situation out of his kindness and grace, wanting us to come close in whatever way possible to Mahprabhu. And so I remember being in the bathroom with Gurumraj one day, and I this was maybe two, three years after I'd been initiated. It was in Panihati, and it's just me and Gurumraj. And it takes time to do things in the bathroom sometimes. So we're just waiting. And gurumraj likes to hear jokes anytime. Always. Never a bad time for a joke. When you're with Guru Mahraj. Most serious thing being said, Guru Maharaj has a joke. If somebody else has a joke, he's ready to laugh. So I'd run out of jokes. I had nothing. We were just standing there, and I felt, here I am with my spiritual master, something nice we should be discussing, even though we're in the bathroom. So I had this question in my heart that I'd wanted to ask for some time And I asked Gurumraj there. I said, gurumraj, I'm struggling with Pratishta because I'm the temple president, the small project. Everybody's glorifying me for doing this nice thing. So how does one overcome this attraction to the glorification of yourself and the attention that you get? And Guru Maharaj, he did his usual kind of pause for a few moments. And sometimes at least on four occasions, Gurumraj just has ignored my question altogether. I might ask it two or three times. He just won't answer, won't say anything. I never actually put on saffron. I asked Gurumraj three times. The third time he just started laughing. And he said, ISKCON needs a bachelor ashram. So he didn't have much faith in me as a Brahmachari, and rightly so. I would understand later on as I matured and saw my own nature. But when I was young, I thought, yeah, I want to be of a part that's the best thing to do for your guru. But my guru didn't think it was the best thing for him. And he laughed at it and said, this kind of needs a bachelor ashram. So I'm there in the bathroom and Guru Mahraj is like, silent. Now I've asked this question, how to overcome partition. And I'm feeling like, oh, maybe this is the wrong place. Oh, I've done it again. I've asked the wrong thing, the wrong time. Now he's not going to answer me at all. And then he looks up and he says, rla bhakti Siddhanta describes in Vaishnava K. So Guru Maharaj looked up at me and he asked, have I read Vaishnava K? Which of course he finished the translation for and commentary for. I said, yes, Gurumraj. And he said, do you remember what rla bhakti Siddhanta says about Pratishta? I said, no, Guru Maharaj. He said, rla bhakti Siddhanta compares Pratishta to the stool of a hog. Now we're in the bathroom. So this is the example Guruj is giving. And he's looking up at me to see if I'm getting it. And he can see I'm not getting it. So then he helps me a little bit. He says, do you know what pigs eat? And of course, Prabhupada says it so many times in his lectures. Unless you grow up in a place where you see pigs, you might not understand. But if you listen to Prabhupada's lectures, then, you know, hogs eat stool. So Bhakti Siddhanta compares pratishta to the stool of a hog. So it's the stool of stool. The hog is eating the stool and then is making some stool from that, and that's pratishtha. And Guru Maharaj gave me that purport in the stool room. So I've never forgotten it. And it's very good because I have a very hard time with this. So I. It's a very pointed moment. And these are the small, sweet exchanges that Gurumraj would have all the time with his servants, just letting them know that he's there and that he cares. Even amidst all the busyness, it was always so touching to see how ready he was to extend himself to anyone. So I would often get the chance to be the repeater, not only in classes but in the, like, personal darshans that devotees would have with Gurum Rush. And that was frankly my favorite thing to be a part of because I'm a temple president and I have to handle so many situations and take care of different people. And I'm not. I don't know how to do that. Especially when I was younger, I was untrained and there was nobody really to train me. And so being there with Gurumraj in those personal conversations, hearing how he's handling so many different situations, gave me literal, direct understanding of how my guru would want me to handle different situations. Whether it be with management and ISKCON and other devotees, or things like marital problems, children, spouses who don't want to be devotees, people who leave and then want to come back, people who leave and don't come back, all these different dynamics. And I'm getting the chance to hear personally what Gurumraj wants people to understand. One thing that I saw again and again in those exchanges was how Guru Maharaj was always just wanting them to take one step closer to Krishna. So I remember one woman came in and her husband was chanting 16 rounds following four regs. He'd been initiated, but his wife was not doing much yet. And when she was asked, are you chanting? Are you this? Are you that? She said, maharaj, I'm only chanting one round. And when Guru Mahraj heard that, he said, that's wonderful. You're almost a millionaire. And she looked at him like, what is he talking about? He said, chant two more rounds. He said, chant two rounds. One round. I forget the number. You're chanting like 600,000 names of Ka. But if you chant two rounds a day, Then over the course of a year, you chant a million names of Krishna. And at this little bit of encouragement, her face lit up. And Gumraj then asked her, would you like to be a millionaire? He didn't ask, do you want to chant two rounds? He asked, do you want to be a millionaire? Because everybody wants to be a millionaire. She said, yes, Gurumraj. He said, so you'll chant two rounds? Yes, Gurumraj. And he said, that would be wonderful. And she left with a big smile on her face. She came in very happy and downtrodden and looking sad, like she had somehow failed her husband or gurumraj. But she left feeling bright and happy. And I saw that attempt of Gurumraj again and again and again to try to encourage people. Recently I was with Guruj in Atlanta on his last trip, and one devotee had written in about something sad relating to feeling suicidal, that her mom had passed away. And Gurumraj, I don't know what to do, and I'm depressed. And I could see Gumraj was discouraged to be reading and hearing this letter, that somehow after decades, still these kind of problems are being brought to him. And still after so many instructions on this matter, people are not picking up on the basics. And so I saw that he gave a kind response, but his. His energy was almost drained by having to express it and stay kind in that situation instead of just telling the devotee that difficult things happen and it's okay to be sad about your mother, but for a devotee to become depressed at such a situation and lose your composure on that level is just not what makes sense. And we saw Prabhupada feeling discouraged by the behavior of some of his disciples, especially later on as they would fall away and get distracted by silly things. So I saw this kind of like almost moroseness come over Gur Maharaj. And then somebody said there was a letter from Birmingham in the UK and they had purchased a new building to expand their particularly prasadam distribution. And suddenly Gurumraj's whole body turned on. And the devotee read the letter about where this building was and what they had attained it for the purpose of. And it had actually been a Seventh Day Adventist church before, and the devotees had purchased it from them. So I shared with Guru Maharaj one little bit of news. I said, guru Maharaj, Seventh Day Adventists, they're actually vegetarian. And Gumraj said, oh. And he got even more excited by that. And he started asking all the questions about where this building was in relation to every other yatra within the uk so we pulled out the map and we started showing Gurumraj, okay, here's Coventry, here's Birmingham, here's this building, here's a Lester. And Gurumraj, you could see him starting to scheme and plan and plot because this devotee had asked for blessings for her preaching and of course, blessings the stick. Just generic Gumraj, pray for us. But way beyond just generic blessings. Guru Maharaj was now meditating actively. Where are these devotees going to be? What are they going to be doing? How are they going to be doing it? And it was very interesting to see those two next to each other. This one disciple who is feeling very morose and can't do any service because my material life has become difficult. And then on the other side, Guru Maharaj hearing this good news from Coventry and how he just turned on and it reminded me, rla Bhakti Siddhanta says preaching is life. And our Guru Maharaj is really here for this. He's not stuck around to hear about more problems in the material energy. He's stuck around to try to solve the problems of the material energy with the movement of Mahprabhu. And so anytime we can bring him that kind of news, no matter what condition he's in, he's ready to respond to that. He's ready to encourage us and support us in our own attempts to serve him in the spreading of the mission.

How you see Guru Maharaj following Jlabrah Bhatti's directions.

How I see Gurumraj. Guruj's mood is always one of cooperation. In all the tense exchanges I've seen Gumraj have. I've heard emails of people like insulting Gumraj, you know, just speaking very meanly to him. And as a disciple, you know, it makes you uncomfortable. You're like, what is. How does this person, where do they come from that they think they can speak this way to this devotee of all and Gurumaj I've never once seen Guru Maharaj get mad or like even offended. Like, you know, you can see it in someone if they get a little disturbed by that kind of thing. What to speak of if they get a lot disturbed. Never once have I seen Guru Maharaj get agitated in that way. His mood is always to try to bring it back into a cooperative frame of conversation. And I often think about Bhakti, Siddhanta or Prabhupada asking Gumraj to help reunite the Saraswat family. And that was an instruction Guruj was given by Prabhupada. But our own ISKCON family is split in many ways, right? Separating. And so I see Gurumraj working so hard to try to keep our ISKCON part of the Saraswat family together as well. And he does. He just kills people with kindness. His soft heartedness, the gentle way that he goes about his exchanges, it just wins people over. It's very disarming. And I think, of course, so many ways, but maybe in this way most of all, he's the Jaya Pataka, he's the victory flag. And whatever anybody else can say about Prabhupada, sometimes when I get discouraged by the devotees or the criticism I may get as a leader, because if you're in a position, then somebody's always going to find a problem. And I'm certainly not perfect. So there's problems to find. And it's discouraging when you hear those things too much or especially when they're like kind of unjustified. It can be very discouraging. So I sometimes reassure myself that my Guru is the Guru of the Rittviks. My Guru is tolerating more blasphemy, more discouragement than anybody has ever tolerated. And not only is he tolerating that whole part of things or originating from someone who was his disciple, but he's also trying to bring them back into Prabhupada's family in a harmonious way. Not only is he just tolerating it and not saying anything, but he's actually trying to cooperate with those persons. So what to speak of what I should be doing when there's some little tension, some little difficulty somewhere, the kind of deference that I should be giving. If my Guru is willing to be the Guru despite the Ridvik vod, then I can digest whatever is being said and whatever funkiness is coming in my little corner of the ISKCON world. So for me, this is Gurumraj's maybe most compelling example, most meaningful. And the other element is just giving of himself entirely, that Kirtaniya Siddhari and how Ruba Goswami says, for a conditioned soul, we can't actually see who's pure. We sometimes like to think we can, but we can't actually see who's pure. However, Rupa Goswami encourages us that there is one measurement that a conditioned soul can make and that is how does a person spend their time. And when you see how Guru Maharaj spends his time, especially getting to be his personal servant, there's not a moment where he's not thinking about something to do with ka. When I was here In Mayapur a few years ago, I was going to Ganga each day for a bath. And they had that nice. It was like the first or second year that they had the new Ganga temple. And so I'm assuming it's one of our godbrothers. He would always be playing a lecture of Guru Maharaj. And it so happened like 8, 9, 10, 11, 12 days in a row. I went and happened to hear the same lecture and the same place in the same lecture. The 15 minutes I would be down there for Ganga, I would hear the same thing for 15 minutes. It was Guru Mahraj speaking on his vyas puja. And of course Guru Mahraj appeared on Kamada ekadasi. So he was narrating the pastime of that in the codesimahatmya about that particular codesy. So I was hearing that for like 12 days straight. And I was, at one point I got tired of it. I was like, guru Maharaj, it's nice to hear Guru Maharaj, but I want to hear something else. It's just the same narration over and over and over. And I started thinking, why am I hearing this every day? What is Guru Maharaj trying to say? What is Ganga Ma trying to tell me? What is this devotee trying to tell us? And then it, it kind of clicked. The narration in Kamada codesy. Maybe some of you have not aren't familiar with it, but a Gandharva is cursed and has to take a very hideous form, very ugly features. And his wife goes to a sage and is told, fast on this ecdasy, Perform austerities on this ecadasi and your husband's body will be restored. So the faithful wife does austerities for her husband. She performs perfectly the kamada ecadasi vrat and her husband's beautiful Gandharva form is restored. And somehow it clicked for me like the 12th day that because of the apparently ugly situation of her husband's physical body, this wife was inspired to do some auspicious activity to follow a codesy. And in the same way our Guru Mahrj has taken on this very difficult, uncomfortable form to inspire so many people to perform auspicious activity who otherwise wouldn't? I think it was 2016 or 17 around this time, it was, we're here just tomorrow as Nithyananda Triodasi and today is Vrahadvadasi, very auspicious time of year, coming into the Goraprnim window. And I remember Gurumraj became very ill. He was in the hospital. And suddenly right at this very auspicious window, devotees all over the planet were chanting extra rounds, performing vrats, doing overnight kirtans. People that are not disciples of Guru Maharaj maybe have never met him, but they just know this is Jaya Pataka Swami. This is the foundation of Mayapur. This is a person Prabhupada trusted with so much. We all owe so much to this person. Here they are tolerating every imaginable physical inconvenience to do something for us. Let us try to do something for him. And the parallel between Gumraj's the Ecadasi Mahatmya and Guru Maharaj's own pastimes became clear to me in that lecture after hearing it for two weeks almost. So all glories to that devotee who was playing it non stop, that I could recognize something of what Krishna is saying by Guru Maharaj appearing on that particular day. That his willingness to tolerate inconvenience moves us all to give up our conveniences and the material energy and try to do something for him. We're forced to when we see how much he's doing for us, despite being his body being physically useless.

So if you want, you can, if you remember something, you can say otherwise. If you have time otherwise you can say like, oh, I don't know any English in Spanish, like, and say hi, I learned in English. But you can stop here. If you have more memories, you can write down Breadpoint and I can record you any of these.

Okay, great. Yeah, Gumraj, I mean, so many little anecdotes. Just last night, you know, he was, we were reading from Caitanya Charitamrita and how Raghav Pandit was bringing all these wonderful items to Mahprabhu cooked by his sister Damayanti and Krishnadas. Caviraj is describing in detail so many of the wonderful items. And one particular narration is like chipped rice fried in ghee, then soaked in like cream and then mixed with sugar syrup. And all that is rolled, all that is rolled into a ball, you know, like a ladu. This very gorgeous, you know, description of this sumptuous prasadam being brought to Mahprabhu. And Guru Maharaj, he's like smiling because Guru Maharaj loves Prashad. He loves Prashad. Guruj is just smiling. And he's also. He was having tears in his eyes at three or four different instances that night. And the narration, just considering the dedication of Damayanti and Raghav Pandit to carry these Dwalis, these bags full of all these delicacies, sagumaraj is sitting there relishing the description. And then he looks over and down at me and he just says after a little bit of a pause and he says it's a codesy because it's a beautiful description of rice and sweet and ladus. Not good for a codesy. But here we are. So Guruj is always ready for a joke in Atlanta. This is another prasadam joke in Atlanta. One devotee had come and she had made something very elaborate for Gurumraj as a dessert. And one devotee said, gurumraj, it has a chocolate substitute. As though that was good news. And he knew what it meant. He said, I need a carob substitute, meaning he wanted real chocolate, which he would call black medicine. Yeah, I always appreciated Guru Maharaj. He's a Prabhupada man through and through. And yet also, if we pay attention, he's so deeply wrapped up in serving the whole community of Lord Caitanya's associates. He's dedicated himself so much to other cryas as well, in a very personal, specific way. And particularly I'm thinking of Bhaktuno Thakur and Raghunath Goswami. Bhakta NH Thakur, of course, created the Namhat. And Gumraj has manifested that here in West Bengal, but also all over the planet, the most substantial preaching that's been done in ISKCON since the early days is Gumraj's Namhat and Bhakti Vriksha and all that is coming from Bhakti Vinod Thakur and his own design. So Gumraj is giving us that encouragement, that permission, that we are a part of a community of Gauria Vaiavas who all have a vision and a desire to see Mahaprabhu's mercy manifest. And we have to take insights and inspiration from all of them. And we should go to them and pray for their mercy so that we can. And in Panihati, Gurumraj will always narrate the story of Ragnathas Goswami. And I felt very clearly one day while giving that narration, as Guru Maharaj is describing how Raghunathas Goswami was being tied up by his wealthy family, it occurred to me that Guru Maharaj relates with Raghunath Goswami very much because Guru Maharaj also came from a very wealthy family. And his father told him, if you join the Hare Krishnas, then you're out of the will. Right? You don't get to enjoy all the wealth anymore. So Guru Mahraj was a young, young man. Raghunatha Das Goswami was 19 and Guruj was like 17, 18 when he joined the devotees. And so there's this intimate connection that I felt Gurumraj was expressing as he was giving the narration of Raghunathwami running to meet Lord Caitanya, giving up his connection to this wealthy family and joining the devotees in a surrendered way. Gurumraj so much feels how he was given the same opportunity by RLA Prabhupda and in a feeling of indebtedness, glorifies Raghunatha. Swami creates this whole Panihati pastime that we all get to come and celebrate the Danda Mahotsav and enjoy again and again and again together. So that's personally one of the things, and it connects to Gurumraj's service here in Mayapur damage of creating the Navadut Manga parikrma that when we go out into the Dham, we're entering into this whole mandala of different cryas and devotees who've done wonderful service. Kolavicha Sridhara and Bhakti, Nir Thakur and Sivananda Sain and everyone. And we get to participate in that by Guru Maharaj's mercy. And he shows us Bhishma Panchak also. Grandfather Bhishma is lying there on a bed of arrows, and Guru Maharaj is also lying on a bed of arrows. Bheeshma is choosing when he gets to die. And I don't know how else Guru Maharaj is here unless he's getting to say when he goes, because he has something else he wants to do. And so he's still here with us despite countless times when he should have left. So his connection to the whole community of devotees, along with being such a stalwart prabhupda man, is for me also something deeply encouraging and maybe my favorite example that Guru Maharaj gives. He shared something very sweet with me once personally in Detroit when he came to visit us. We were in the airport and we were on our way out, and he was in his wheelchair, of course, and he was leaving and he kind of like gestured to me to bend down and I bent down. And he told me that there's only three things he misses since being in his wheelchair and having the situation with his body that he does. There's only three things that he misses. One is playing his wampers, which are more like trash can lids. I never got to see Guru Maharaj doing like that. These enormous. So he misses playing that. He misses dancing in front of the rath Yatra and he misses Going on Nagar Sankirtan, he misses going on Harinam. And I felt like maybe he was sharing that with us because we had taken him on Harinam when he visited us. We asked him if he would come with us on Harinam around the block. And so he went. And it felt like him letting us know that he very much appreciated when we done that. So my encouragement to all the devotees watching that, if you want to please Guru Maharaj as much as he's done and as little as we would ever be able to do to try to match that, making him happy is really as simple as going out on Harinam. Chanting and dancing in the streets, that's what brought him joy, that's what he's given up so that he can maintain his position here physically to continue to encourage us and guide us. And so as a thank you, all we have to do is go out on the streets and chant and dance and Gurumraj will be happy and be with us in some way as well. Jai Hare Krishna, thank you so much for the opportunity to share. This is a really sweet service you're doing. I can't wait to see the videos. One experience I always look forward to is watching Gurumraj choose names for devotees getting initiated. One devotee in the Detroit area had shared with me. He's from South India and he was born near Rangakshetra, this famous South Indian temple where Mahaprabhu also went. Gopalbhatta, Goswami and his family are from this place. And so that deity of Vishnu in Sri Rangam is famous for actually having two arms. He's known as Ranganath Govinda. He has two arms. And it said you can, even if you go close, you can smell the butter on his fingers. So he's Vishnu, but he's really Ka. So this devotee had in his heart that he wanted to be named something connected to Ranganath because that's where he was from and that's how he came into Ka consciousness was his faith in Ranganath. And on Guruja's name forms as a disciple, you fill out if you want a name from Goreleela or if you want a name from Krishna Leela. But Prabhu was thinking in his head, I don't want either. I want something from Ranganath. But he didn't write anything. And anyway, Guru Maharaj initiated him, Ranganath Govinda Das. So I'd always wanted to be there to see Guru Maharaj giving names. And it was a very sweet thing to witness how careful he was. How much he would ask about that devotee, if there were devotees in the room who knew of them and knew something about them. And he would sit and pause, he'll sit and pause. And you can see he's praying. He's asking Krishna. He's talking to Prabhupada before he gives the person their name. One particular day. This was taking too long. And gurumraj was taking forever to pick the names. And the initiation was supposed to start two hours already, right? We've all been here. The Gumraj is supposed to be here at one time. And now it's one hour. And now it's two hours. The devotees at the temple, we're in Atlanta, so there's the house where Gumraj stays, and then the temple is next to that. It's on the same property, but Gumraj stays in one house. The temple is next door. So everybody's in the temple, everybody's waiting. And Gumraj is taking forever. And I'm actually. I'm now getting a little, like, upset for them because for the now, the third time, the devotee is calling Gurumraj, devotees are waiting. When are you coming? And somehow he's delaying, taking forever, picking names, making a mess on his cloth. And then it has to be changed. Like the whole go to the bathroom again, just the whole thing. Nobody can understand why. Finally, Grimoire says, okay, we're ready to go. All the names are picked. And this whole time in Panihati is a big festival. So different things are going on at different times. And there's a stage in front of Guru Mahraj's house, and that stage, different devotees are performing, doing kirtan, doing dramas, and the mayapuris were performing at the time that we were coming out of Gumraj's home. And Dunya, she had happened to write a song specifically to Guru Maharaj called gurudev. I don't know if any of you have heard it, but if you haven't, you have to listen to it. You'll cry. Such a sweet bhajan. Such a sweet song written about our gurumraj by Dunya. And this was the first time she was singing it in public anywhere. And she began singing it just as gurumraj was coming out of the house. So she was singing Gurudev just as gurumraj was coming through the door. And he was having his hands up as she was singing. And the whole crowd understood now why things were late, and especially us servants. I don't think any of us didn't have tears in our eyes seeing how Gurumraj was reciprocating with her. Who knows how long she'd been writing that song. This happened to be the first time she was performing it. And Gurumraj made sure that he was personally present as she was sharing that piece of her heart for him for the very first time. And then when we went up to the temple, I noticed that in that lecture, in that katha, in the initiation, the whole room was dead silent. Every devotee present was just wrapped in attention on Guru Maharaj. And I appreciated. Now I understood the full picture then because I was a little anxiety. I had some mundane thoughts when I was in the house. I was like feeling bad. I like to be on time. Guru Maharaj doesn't. Not that he doesn't, but he often is on his own time. And so it helped me settle in that Guru is never late. He's on his own time, which is Krishna's time. And we all have to show up to that, not the other way around. When I was in that temple, not only was Guru Maharaj able to reciprocate with this offering of Dunya in such a special, memorable way for her and anybody else that understood what was happening, but also everybody in that temple room, they were really there to see their guru and to hear Ka katha. But as it goes, when you're in a festival and things are going on, you don't always pay attention. You don't always allow yourself to be there. But they all had to go through the austerity of waiting for two hours, sitting quietly and attentively was now there offering to Gurumraj. And they all did it in a deep way because he had taken a little while longer than they expected. He was really testing them. Do you really want to hear from me? Do you really want to be here? Do you really want to take an initiation? And everybody in that room was answering, yes. So it was a very memorable experience of how Guru Maharaj's time is the best time and we all want to get on board with it, even if in the moment it doesn't seem so. So I'll stop there for now. But I wanted to share that one particular.