Lava-Mātra: A Moment with Jayapatākā Swami: HG Tariṇī Rādhā Devī Dāsī #JayapatakaSwamiArchives

Hare Krishna. I came to ISKCON first in 1988. I was in final year college and for our journalism studies our professor wanted us to go out, interview people and write an article. So I was very confused what topic to choose for my article. But my classmate, her father was a life member in iskcon. She had been a few times to the temple, so she wanted to write on iskcon. So she wanted me to come with her. At that time I was a kind of an atheist. So inside me I had some experiences. So I know that Krishna is there. But I wanted to know Krishna in a scientific way. Not just based on my experiences, my belief, but I wanted to know him scientifically. So I would tell Krishna in my mind that Krishna, please don't be offended, I'm speaking like this, but I want to know you in a scientific way. So externally I was appearing like an atheist. And I would tell people that the universe is too good, too systematic, too balanced to be created by one person. This was my argument. So my friend was thinking that okay, since I have these atheistic views then and if I go and ask questions at the temple, then we could have a very good article. So she asked me to come along. So when we went, it was, I think the day just after Balarampurnami. So we interviewed many devotees, asked them what they like in iskcon, how they came to join iskcon. So we've interviewed many people and then we met with temple president His Grace Ganga Prabhu. We asked him many questions and he gave very convincing answers. Especially I liked the example about the fish, how the fish outside of water, whatever you give it, it is not satisfied. Only if it goes back to the water, it is satisfied. And that is our relationship with Krishna. So I was ready to get all this philosophy. So whatever I heard, I was immediately grasping and I started developing more interest, asking more questions. I used to have a lot of questions and throughout the I used to go after that I was going once a week, every Sunday I would go at 2 o'cl and 2 o' clock to 5 o'. Clock. I would just be asking questions and learning from the devotees. And since it was Janmashtami time, I also got the opportunity to do some services. So like this, I was going regularly to the temple, reading the books. I was not fully convinced yet I still had so many questions and I was trying to find fault in the philosophy. So like one time I went to the devotees and said there is a fault in the Krishna book. Said what you say Krishna is the supreme personality of Godhead. But Krishna is telling Balram is the supreme personality. So there's a mistake. So like this, I was trying to find mistakes. I was not just accepting, just like that. I was really asking questions, analyzing, thinking about all this. And then in 1989, there was Rath Yatra. And the devotees invited me. But I was not ready to be one among this group of people. So I was praying that there should be rain so that I have an excuse not to go to Rath Yatra. So that year I didn't go. And then whenever I went to the temple, I would hear the devotees tell about Guru Maharaj, some of his past times and their relationship with him, how he had helped them in their lives. So I was curious about him, to meet him. And then I was chanting four rounds. So the devotees would tell me, it's almost one year. You're coming to the temple. You're still chanting only four rounds. At least do six rounds. They would like, almost beg me. But that four rounds was difficult for me because I had no concentration. And I will chant in the evening. I will be hearing one year. I'm hearing all the TV dialogues which my father was playing. So in this way, my chanting was so bad that I was not able to relish it so much to the extent that I want to chant more. So I was just doing these four rounds. And then in 1989, the Madrid incident happened where Guru Maharaj was attacked by a crazy person. And then everyone was praying so much for him in the temple. And finally it happened that Guru Maharaj was coming to Chennai. So those days, those years, Guru Maharaj would come very often to Chennai, because from Chennai he could go to many other places. So very often he would come. Sometimes he would come in the night, leave early morning. But he used to come very often like that. So it's very interesting. That's right. From Madrid, Gur Maharaj came first to Chennai. And the devotees were so excited. And those days, the information comes very late. So they say 4 o'. Clock, they say, Gurmaraj is coming at 6 o'. Clock. And Raseshwari Mataji was there, Ganga Prabhu's wife. And she was getting. She was going into a panic. I have to do this, I have to do this. I have to get the gal and I have to do this, I have to do that. I have to make battle for Italy. She was getting so much into a frenzy. Then I said. And she just. She had a very small baby, one year baby. So I said, I'll Help you, Mataji. So I went with her to the market. We bought all the things she needed. And then after coming back, I helped her make the idli batter. So in this way, it was getting late and so I called my father. My father is very strict. The rule is that by 6pm 6 in the evening, we have to be back in the house. So I was very nervous when I called him and I asked, there's so much to do here. And this Mataji, she's finding it difficult because of her small baby. Can I stay back and help? And I was really surprised that my father gave me permission. So I stayed back and the services went to almost two o' clock in the night. It was two o' clock when I finished grinding the batter for idli and went to sleep. In the morning we missed mangalarti but woke up early and started making the breakfast. So as I was helping with the breakfast services, I don't know if I went to hear the Bhagavatam class also. I don't remember so much. I only remember being engaged in a lot of service and I was very happy to do it all. So when we were getting Guru Ma Rat's plate ready for breakfast, I was hearing Hare Krishna Kirtan. I don't visit the temple very often. I come in the Sunday afternoon and stay for Sandhyarthi sometime. So I was hearing this Krishna Kirtan and I didn't know where it was coming from. But I felt a magnetic pull like that sound is pulling me. So I told Mataji, where is this sound coming from? And Mataji was more keen on getting the breakfast plate ready. And so she was thinking, what's wrong with this girl? Why she's thinking about other things when this important service needs to be done. But I felt this very strong pull. So I told him, ataji, I need to go. I have to go. This sound is pulling me. I have to go. So I went all the way from the kitchen, just 30, 40ft away. There's the steps going to the first floor. So I have never been there to the first floor. That's where they do Guru Puja every day. But I've never been there before, so I could not go there. But then when I came there to the steps, there was so, so much tears flowing from my eyes. And I could not understand why this is happening. And I thought, with crying like this, how can I go in front of people? So better I go and hide in the kitchen. It was just Mataji and me. So I went back to the Kitchen. Again I was helping. And then again this very strong pull. This Krishna Kirtan was like pulling me, pulling me. Sister Mataji, can I go please? Again she was looking at me like, why you going when there's service to be done? But such a strong pull. So again I went all the way to the staircase. I stood there hearing the kirtan and tears were flowing from my eyes. And I thought, okay, this is. I cannot go in front of people. So I just went back to the kitchen and did my service. So I think right after breakfast, Guru Maharaj left. And all the devotees, they were running to the airport. And one Mataji was there from Bangalore, Bhakti Lataji. She used to inspire me so much in those days. So she was there and she was looking at the aeroplane till it went totally out of sight. She was just staring in that direction. She was just staring at the airplane, remembering Guru Maharaj till it was completely invisible. She was standing there and watching. All this was very inspiring for me. So after that, a few days after that, suddenly I just woke up at 3:30 in the morning. I was feeling so fresh. I woke up and I was thinking, what do I do now? I woken up so early. Then I remembered how the devotees say that they wake up at 3:30, they go to Mangalarti and they chant 16 rounds of japa. So I thought, okay, I woken up so early, let me chant Japa. So that day, first day, I did 16 rounds of Japa. So it is amazing how from struggling with four rounds, suddenly I could one day, just a week or two weeks after Guru Maharaj visit, I could just do 16 rounds. So this incident for me is very, very deep, very important. I'm completely grateful to Guru Maharaj for putting me properly on the path of Bhakti where I was struggling so much. He put me on the path of Bhakti, made it possible for me to chant Hare Krishna. Another problem I had was reading Bhagavad Gita. Because I come from a Mayavad background, I have attended Mayavad classes. I know Samskrita. So when I read Prabhupada books, when I come to second chapter and Krishna says, now so far I taught you Buddhi Yoga, now I'll teach you Sankhya Yoga. And Prabhupada says Buddhi Yoga is Krishna consciousness. So then I was annoyed, like Buddhi means intelligence doesn't mean Krishna consciousness. So I close the book and stop reading. And then after some time, because I still like going to the temple, I like the Kirtan So I thought, okay, let me try once more to read Bhagavad Gita. So again, I start from the beginning, from the introduction. And then when I came to Buddhi Yoga, close the book. I could not read. I could not go beyond that. But after this incident with Guru Maharaj, I could chant 16 rounds. And I could read Bhagavad Gita also. So I'm always very grateful to Guru Maharaj that if I am in bhakti today, it's totally his mercy. So he just comes. People say he's traveling so much, spending one day in one place. What is the effect? So this is the effect that even if he's there only for a few minutes, few hours, but some transmission happens where we are able to intensify our devotional activities. By seeing Gur Maharaj, by serving him, there's a lot of purification that happens. Krishna is satisfied with our service and he allows us to progress in our sadhana. So over the years we see that there are so many conflicts, so many controversies, the Rhythvic philosophy, so many controversies are there. But for me, I just know this, that if I am in Bhakti, it's because of Gurmaraj. And I can never give up this gratitude for him. I shall always be grateful to him for this. And then in 1991, I managed to get permission to go to Mayapur. So on the train, people were telling me about initiation. So I went to Ganga Prabhu and I said, can I take initiation? And Ganga Prabhu said, yes, from whom? So I'm wondering, what is this question from whom? Because in Chennai we see only Guru Maharaj. So this question from whom was Zainoth? Seemed very. I mean, I could not understand that question. Anyway, I answered from Jayapataka Gurmaraj, and he said, okay. So I went there. And then in the night, I wrote the exam paper. I got good marks and then went for interview with Guru Maharaj. So then it is in the terrace room. So Guru Maharaj asked me, what do you want? I said, I could not understand. Exactly. So then I. I said, gurmaraj. And he said, yeah, what do you want? So I said, I want to become your disciple. Then he said, you are not already my disciple. I said, yes, Gurmaraj. So then this is just a formality. The initiation ceremony is just a formality. So this was very important for me because in my preaching I come across women and young girls who are not able to take initiation. Then I tell them this incident, what Guru Maharaj said that Initiation is accepting in the heart and following Guru Maharaj's instructions. And the ceremony is just a formality. That is one instruction that Guru Maharaj gave me that time. And it has been very useful to me in passing on to other devotees. And that same time interview as Gurmaraj was, he just asked two or three questions. Suddenly there was somebody, Banumaraj, he came and said, VG Santosham has come. So this was a guest from Chennai. He had given ISKCON a land donation and he was coming to Mayapur. So he had come already. And Banu Maharaj came to call Guru Maharaj. So then Guru Maharaj said, maharaj, should I come? And Banu Maharaj said, yes. And immediately Guru Maharaj was getting up. And I have this Martha background that in front of a senior person, we cannot be sitting. So before Gurmaraj stood up, I stood up. And Gur Ma Raj was like surprised to see that. And he was pleased. And he gave me blessing from his stick as he went away. So that was a very nice interview experience I had with Guru Maharaj. And that was in 1991. And then in 1992, I wanted to ask Guru Maharaj what service I can do. Because there were some, what should I say, some challenges for me at home. My family was not so much favorable to my going to the temple, doing service. Basically, it was protective. Nothing wrong really. They were being protective. So then I asked Gur Maharaj, in this situation, what do I do? How can I do service? And Guru Maharaj gave me the option that I could maybe teach in an ISKCON school. So that way my family is satisfied that I am doing some kind of a job. And at the same time, it's linked to Krishna. So I got two letters to join as teacher from two ISKCON centers. At the same time, the devotees in Chennai, they also gave me the opportunity to work in the office, same Chennai office. So I was confused now what to do. So I went to Guru Maharaj. He was in his room, and I asked him this question, what do I do? Which service should I take up? And I showed him the letters. And Guru Maharaj just said that I made this. I gave you this idea because you said you have difficulty in doing service. And then I asked him one philosophical question. Then Guru Maharaj said, you can ask this during class. Why are you asking now? Said Guru Maharaj, I don't attend any class. So then he just shook his head and he didn't answer my question. And it was time for him to go for the evening. Pandal program. So usually when Guru Maharaj comes those days, there's a lot of service and very few people. So maybe I am there. One more girl is there, my friend. That's all. It's just between two or three of us. So there used to be so much service to do. I would be mostly missing all the programs. So this pandal program and my service used to be dinner. So breakfast and dinner, lunch. The other girl would cook. So by the time I got the dinner ready, put his milk in his flask, I went to the site where the pandal program was going on. Guru Maharaj had finished class. So I went there. I was sitting in the front. Guru Maharaj noticed. Then he said, any questions? And then he said, one person asked me a question. And he told the question which I had asked. My question was that I understand the soul is not killed, but how to understand that the soul does not kill? That was my question. So Guru Maharaj explained that. And then there was another question. So that answered my philosophical question. And then there was another question and Guru Maharaj explained about the Kurma Brahmana. So how Chaitanya Mahaprabhu met Kurma Brahmana. And the Kurma Brahmana says, I just want to give up everything and go with you. So Chaitanya Mahaprabhu got very angry with him. And he said, you stay at home and do bhakti and Chaitanyama. Prabhu told him that. And he said, first, you liberate your family, you liberate your village. And that way you preach to the people around you. So the way Guru Maharaj said that stay at home and do bhakti, I took that as a response to the question I had taken to him, the personal question that where should I do service? So that statement, stay at home and do bhakti, that helped me make my decision. So I continued staying in Chennai and doing service there in the office. So another incident which increased my faith, every time Guru Maharaj comes, like I said, there's so much service to do. And I used to be a little fanatic. I would sleep after Guru Maharaj slept. I would wake up before he wakes up because he needs the lemon juice as soon as he wakes up. So I used to kind of overwork myself. So that particular day, the breakfast service was over and I didn't eat breakfast. I started the lunch services. And after the lunch service was over, I was getting tired. And because I was tired, I was also getting little offensive. And I was thinking, we have made this lunch for Guru Maharaj. And what will Guru Maharaj say? So in the previous times, he said, thank you for the wonderful prasadam who cooked. Radharani cooked like this. I was remembering all these things he said. And he said he's just going to tell the same thing again. And I was, in my mind, I was thinking that Goloka, it is said that it's always new. Everything is new. There is no repetition. So I was thinking, but Guru Maharaj, he's going to tell the same thing only again. So in this way, I was feeling very low. But still I didn't eat. I was just going about doing some work, cleaning up. Like the prasadam had already gone for Guru Maharaj. And I was just cleaning up a little. And then I see this Brahmachari Prabhu, he was carrying Guru Maharaj's plate in his hand. And he brought the whole plate from Guru Maharaj. Usually we are in tension because the men sitting with Guru Maharaj, they will take all the prasadam we will not get. So this time, this Prabhu, he was holding it high up, nobody can reach. And he said, Guru Maharaj said to give this to the Matajis who cooked. And I felt so happy that Guru Maharaj did something new this time to inspire me and Mahaprasadham. It's I love Mahaprasadham. Because that first time when Guru Maharaj came, like I said, there weren't so many devotees. So just two of us, we could eat so much Mahaprasadham. Two hours we sat down and ate because we didn't want to waste. And we could not eat so much. But we wanted to eat it all. Two hours we sat and we finished that Mahaprasadham plate. And we read so much about Narada Muni and Mahaprasadham. So I used to love. I used to always hanker for that Mahaprasadham. So when this whole plate of Mahaprasadham came, just the idea that O Gurmar had sent this for us made me so happy again, I continued working without eating. I just got so much energy to do more service. So that incident was very important for me because I wanted to know that how the spiritual world is ever new. And here was an example to me, a revelation to me that, yes, it is new. So these help you go closer to Krishna. And a very, very interesting but funny pastime with Guru Maharaj, which is lovely, is a very silly instruction I got from Guru Maharaj. It is how to answer the question, how are you? So Guru Maharaj, he's always asking this question to devotees. So when he asked me this question, how are you? I didn't know what to say because I could not say, fine, thank you. So how do I answer Guru Maharaj this question? I was very confused, so I would not say anything. I would just stand there blinking. And he noticed this, that I was not responding. So then he made it a point to ask me that question every time. So each time he asked, I would mumble something. I would just mumble some illegible words and Guru Maharaj will wait and then he will go. So this happened a few times. And then one Mataji, she told me that when Guru Maharaj asked that question, she says, you mercy, Guru Maharaj. Meaning that whether I am good, it's your mercy. Whether I am miserable, it's your mercy. I thought, this is too advanced for me. I cannot say this from my heart. I need to say something that's more. Something more what I feel. So I could not take that answer. So like this few times, Guru Maharaj would ask me, I would mumble something. And he was waiting for me to give the proper answer. He never told me that this is what you should answer. He was waiting. Then one evening, one devotee had gone to the station to send Guru Maharaj. Guru Maharaj would travel first class train. Those times, it was just an overnight journey. So he had gone to the station to see Guru Maharaj. And then he came back to the temple and he was telling us, oh, Guru Maharaj, ask me, how are you? And I said, I'm fine, by your mercy, Guru Maharaj. And he explained all that. I said, wow, that is the answer. I'm fine, by your mercy, Guru Maharaj. I was so happy and I was waiting. When will Guru Maharaj ask me again? Now I know the answer. So then the next time Guru Maharaj came. Now everything is set. He's going to leave. And I'm working in the office that time. So there are two doors to the office. One from this side and one from that side. So everything set? Airport suite, everything is ready. And I came back to the office after finishing kitchen services. And then Guru Maharaj comes from the other door. And with his walking stick, he's standing there. No matter. There is no flight to catch. He has all the time in the world. Very casually standing with his hands on the stick. And he asked me, how are you? I said, I'm fine, by your mercy, Guru Maharaj. And Guru Maharaj was so happy, he laughed aloud. Full laugh. He laughed so loudly. And then he shook his head and he left. So it was so interesting, this very silly question. And Guru Maharaj was so patiently waiting for me to learn the proper answer. Now, he didn't stop there after that when I went to Mayavpur for Vyas Puja. So I would also be the last one, you know, till the secretaries tell us, get out, we follow Guru Maharaj. So I was going behind him to the Lotus Building. Many other devotees were also there. So Gur Maharaj went one flight to the first flight of steps. He stood there, he saw me, that I was there, and he was looking at me. And he's calling out, lalita, how are you? And Lalita, from somewhere she answers, fine, by your mercy, Guru Maharaj. And again Guru Maharaj looks at me and he nodded his head again, so confirming that that is the answer to give. So this is a very, very funny pastime I had with Guru Maharaj. And the way he was standing, the way he was laughing was so nice, so nice to remember again and again. Just after this rhythmic philosophy became prominent in Bangalore. So one evening, Sunday evening program, someone told me that one Mataji from the Bangalore temple, she was near, you know, she was in our temple. So when I heard that, I became very scared that why has she come here? Is she going to influence the devotees here? What's going to happen? It made me very, very scared and nervous. And I started praying to Prabhupada. So I was just taking his picture and I was crying, I was really sobbing. And I was praying to Prabhupada, Prabhupada, please show me. Please reveal to me what is correct. Is there any truth at all in this Ritvic philosophy? Please show me what is the. Give me confirmation. Show me what is the correct path. I was praying a lot to Prabhupada. And of course, a few days passed, I didn't really get any answer from Prabhupada. But one morning I thought I heard some flute music. And in my dream, I'm waking up and I'm still lying down. And I see that my mother. I'm sleeping with my son, small, he's like 5 years old. And my mother, she has woken up. The door is slightly open and on the other side, she's doing the kolam in South India. Early morning, first thing, we wake up, we clean the front portion of the house and we make designs with the rice floor. So I'm seeing my mother doing that. And then actually it's okay. So my mother is doing these designs and Guru Maharaj is there and he's calling me. Come here, Come here. So I go there, I open the door and I see Krishna till here playing the flute. And it was that flute sound that had woken me up in the dream. So I see Krishna there. And then I woke up from the dream. So at that time, I was just so happy with the dream. It was so beautiful. I could see Gora Maharaj. I could see Krishna. At that time, it just seemed to me like a very wonderful dream. After a few days when I was thinking about it, then I realized that this is the answer I got from Prabhupada. Because I was praying to Prabhupada to show me the truth about the Rittic philosophy. And through this dream, Prabhupada and Krishna, they showed me that it is my Guru Maharaj who is going to show Krishna to me. He is the one who is going to take me to Krishna. So after that, I became totally convinced and confident that even if these Ritvik people try to speak their philosophy, I. I have my own strength. I know this is how my Guru Maharaj is the one who's going to take me to Krishna. This is how Krishna is going to do it. So that was a very, very beautiful, instructive dream. And like I said before, I love having Guru Maharaj Mahaprasadam. So when I'm cooking and I'm there in the temple, it's easy to get the prasadam. But as the years went by, I was more busy at home with the children and working from home for the temple. So I would miss this Mahaprasadham I wouldn't get. But I used to have this hankering, this yearning that I want Guru Maharaj Mahaprasadham. So one morning I had this dream that Guru Maharaj is probably in Bangladesh. It's like a village. And in Mayapur also Guru Maharaj would go house to house, visiting devotees in the house. So this seemed to be something like that. Guru Maharaj was there a large number of people doing kirtan. Guru Maharaj would go inside one hut, they do pada puja, they give him some prasadam. And Guru Maharaj eats a little and he goes to the walks a little more to the next hut like this, this procession was going on. So in one hut everybody goes inside. There's pada puja, kirtan. Guru Maharaj eats Samprasadam. And then he's walking away. And all the devotees are walking, walking with him. And I see in the heart that Guru Maharaj Mahaprasadam is there. And people are Just walking away. So I go and I'm calling out to devotees, Hariwal, Haribol, there's Mahaprasadham. Take Mahaprasadham before you leave. But you know, they are not hearing. They are all doing kirta and they are walking away. So I'm looking at this Mahaprasadham that this should not be wasted. So I sit down there and eat that full Mahaprasadham. After that I was completely satisfied. And that hankering and yearning stopped for me. Like, okay, I got this Mahaprasadham. I feel very satisfied. I lost the japamala that Guru Maharaj gave me. I had kept it in the temple kitchen. Somehow it disappeared. So next time that Guru Maharaj came to Chennai for Atiyatra, I wanted to get one more mala from him. So there is this boy who was walking with Guru Maharaj holding all the malas and he was putting them in his neck. As Gurmaraj would chant and give, he was putting them on. So I went and told him secretly, please give me one mala. So he gave me this mala and I put it on my neck. Because I was busy doing photography that time I was walking around clicking Guru Maharaj. And then Guru Maharaj noticed this mala around my neck. And he said, how did you get that? I said, he gave me. And then he asked, that boy, you gave her? Yes. Why did you give her? He gave because she is my Sunday school teacher. So when she asked, I gave her. She is my Shloka teacher. So I gave. Then he said, how can you give? Only I can give. So immediately I took it out of my neck and I gave to Guru Maharaj. And then Guru Maharaj gave to me. And then he said, you have to pay a fine because you lost the mala that I first gave you. So then I gave him a Takshina for that. Haribo, can you tell Ahmataji how you see Guru Mah behavior with his God brothers and God sisters? Yeah. I've seen Guru Maharaj with Banu Maharaj. And he's very, very respectful to Banu Maharaj. Like I said in the previous incident also during my initiation interview, so I saw him. I heard him call Banu Maharaj as Maharaj and say, maharaj, what should I do? Should I come? The moment Maharaj said, yes, you should come, he immediately got up from his seat. So I felt that this is the respect he's showing his godbrother. And we see in Chennai, Guru Maharaj can keep talking in the class. And Banu Maharaj, when it is time, he will come and he will just stand there. And the moment Guru Maharaj sees him, he knows, okay, I should stop. So Bhanu Maharaj would convey this in this way. And Banu Maharaj used to help us a lot in caring for Guru Maharaj. When we were washing the fruits, he will come and taste the grapes and see if it is sour or it is good to offer to Guru Maharaj. In the early days, Banu Maharaj would guide us how to take care of him. And though Bhanu Maharaj was taking that subordinate position, still Guru Maharaj would give him complete respect that this is my godbrother. And a Sannyasi Gurmaraj would give him so much respect. Same with Bhakti Rajendra Nandan Maharaj. Whenever he's in Chennai, so Guru Maharaj sees him. He would always honor him, make sure that he's given a seat during Guru Puja, always refer to him, sing Jai to him always. I've seen Guru Maharaj maintain this respect for his godbrothers I have not seen outside of Chennai. But in Chennai I have seen this. And I could learn from him how he is respecting his God brothers by reading Prabhupada's books. From my reading of Prabhupada's books, from my reading of Prabhupada's letters, conversations, whatever Guru Maharaj is doing, I feel that he is doing exactly what Prabhupada would do. So I see that it's similar how Prabhupada interacted with devotees, Guru Maharaj's prayer, doing the same thing, how Prabhupada was preaching. Guru Maharaj is doing like that. So for me, I see that whatever Guru Maharaj is doing, he is exactly following the way Prabhupada showed him. So that is basically in how he's preaching to people, how he's keeping in touch. I see that. And this Bhakti Vriksha that Guru Maharaj took so much interest to develop, all this has definite connection with Prabhupada wanted like Guru Maharaj said, how Prabhupada said that in future there will be more congregation members. And we are seeing that happen. We are seeing how the congregation community is developing so much. And Bhakti Vriksha is a wonderful concept where there's a small unit and each cares for the other like a family. When I started a Bhakti Vriksha, it was more for my association that I get association. And by personally being a Bhakti Vriksha lead, I can see that it is such a Wonderful way of having a close unit like you're having a new family, extended family, where we can express care for each other. So definitely everything that Guru Maharaj is doing is what Prabhupada wanted for his. I have no doubt about that. Especially in his personal interactions. I definitely feel that Guru Maharaj is following the path, following the example shown by Prabhupada. One letter is there that I got from Guru Maharaj in which he wrote that a Vaishnava is gentle and a kind friend to everyone. So when I got that letter, I immediately try to follow this instruction to be always gentle and a kind friend to everyone. And that has helped me a lot in giving up Anarthas, in improving my relationship not only with devotees, but even with family members and everyone. Because Guru Maharaj is a kind friend to everyone. So that helped me a lot in improving my relationships. And children preaching now in Chennai, our children preaching is very good. Guru Maharaj is very happy. He also gave me the congregation award for that. So how I started children preaching is completely Guru Maharaj Mahasi. Because when I asked him what service I can do, he had told me that maybe I can join some Iskcon Gurukul, become a teacher. So as soon as he said that, I started meditating that if I am a Gurukul teacher, what will I do? So then I was thinking that songs is a very easy way to help children learn things. So I started composing songs and rhymes. And then I learned from Guru Maharaj how to tell stories. I love hearing his stories. And I tell the stories as I have heard from him especially. I think many devotees know the famous puppy story where Chaitanya Mahaprabhu is crying, where is my puppy? I want my puppy. Where is my puppy? How Guru Maharaj acts the persons in the story. And there is this story. Guru Maharaj says how Rasikanandapra was flying. He puts the toothbrush, he's using stick, he's putting it between his legs and he's flying around the room. And he's telling there from the roof that I tell you, it is not important. The people, village people are so. They are. They see one yogi flying on a stick and they are like they are telling Rasikananda Prabhupada. There is this yogi, he's flying, he's flying. You know, they are like so amazed. And Rasikananda Prabhu, he himself lies and he says, I tell you that's not important. It's more important to be Krishna conscious. And the Way Guru Maharaj said that I felt the sound is coming from the roof. I don't know how he threw his voice like that, but it's like the voice is coming from there. So all this I learned from Guru Maharaj how to tell stories. And storytelling is very, very important in children preaching because that's how you attract the children to Krishna consciousness, to the pastimes of Krishna. So in our children program in Chennai, story is the most important part. And all other activities we have based on the story. Like there is a story, then there's an art connected to the story. There's a craft connected to the story. There is a bhajan, there is a rhyme, there is a game. Everything goes around that story. So I told this to Guru Maharaj also, that the foundation of the children preaching I could do is because of your storytelling, how you taught us to tell stories. That is something I learned from Guru Maharaj and I'm trying to pass that on. We even had some people, professional storytellers, come and do seminars on how to tell stories so that the children, so that the teachers learn the art of storytelling. And I had asked Guru Maharaj one time that, what can I do? And he had. First he said, you can become a teacher. Then he said, you can do a computer course. And then he said, you can do namahatta preaching. He gave me three options, and I decided I will do all three. So I got a B. Ed degree in education. I did computer course. So because of that, I could design all the things required for the preaching for the the temple, as well as for the children preaching and other preaching programs. And I also try to do some namahatta and bhakti vraksha preaching. So it's always very nice to remember Guru Maharaj to talk about these pastimes. So any number of times we get the opportunity. It's very interesting and happy to talk about this. Thank you very much, Haribur. So I was married to Sumitra Krishna Prabhu in 1995. And it happened in such a way that Prabhu was still in. He was still like a Brahmachari. And somehow this proposal was taken to him whether he would be interested in marrying me. So when Guru Maharaj came to know about this, he was very angry that how could you go to somebody in Saffron to a Brahmachari and talk to him about marriage? So Guru Maharaj was angry with everyone who was involved in this. And then he was trying to discourage Prabhu from getting married. So he wrote Him a letter and he told the story. So he says that there is a scorpion and the scorpion is requesting a horse that you please take me across the river. And the horse says, no, no, you will bite me. So better I don't take you. The scorpion says, no, no, I will not bite you. I'll be very careful not to harm you. You please take me across the river. So the horse agrees. The scorpion is sitting on the horse and they start going. So as they are going, at one point there is some depth or something. The horse loses its balance for a moment and the scorpion becoming scared, he holds onto the horse tightly and he stings the horse. So when the scorpion stings the horse, it's poisonous and the horse could die. So Guru Maharaj was giving this story and saying that the girls, they promised that I will be a very good wife, I will take care of you, I will help you do bhakti. Together we can cross the Samsara Bhavasagara ocean. But then somewhere in the middle, they will start causing injuries, causing harm to the husband. So you should not get married. So Guru Maharaj was trying to dissuade him from marrying. He was nine years. He had been Brahmachari doing traveling, preaching. So this story actually Guru Maharaj wrote to Prabhu and Prabhu had told me about the story. So when I heard this, I felt that I should not be like that scorpion. I should not be the cause of harm to my husband, to his bhakti, to his services, but I should always be assisting him. So in my relationship, in my marriage, I always kept that as my priority that I shall assist my husband and I shall see that no harm, there is no obstacle to him in performing his services. So that inspiration came to me from Guru Maharaj from this story that how as a wife, how I should be protective of my husband and help him so that both of us can cross the ocean of material existence together instead of the wife causing any harm, obstacle to the husband where both of them cannot cross the ocean. So this story has helped me a lot in how I conduct my Grahastha Shrama. So always for me, what Prabhu needs, what his services are, that is my priority. And whatever services I do, that I allow to be a little, be the next step. So if there is the. There's something I have to do and something that he wants me to do, I would give preference to what he wants. So this helped me, this set the mood for how I would conduct my Grahast Dashram. I Don't know how well I have done it, but I have tried my best to do it that way. A few more incidents. I remember in Chennai, we had the Rath Yatra. It's in a big hall, very big hall. So after the Rath Yatra, Jagannath comes to that hall. Guru Maharaj gives class there. So after everything was over, everyone had left. One donor came, and we wanted to introduce him to Guru Maharaj. He was a very important, prominent donor. So he came with his full family. And I knew all the members of the family. The children were in our Sunday class program. And we were in touch with the whole family. So it's like about seven or nine of them. So they went into Guru Maharaj room, and I was waiting that they will leave. Then Guru Maharaj will leave and I will also leave. So I was standing there, and after talking with Gunamaraj, the family started coming out. So I'm standing there, and as they were coming in a line, because there's chairs everywhere. So in the gap between two rows of chairs, these people were coming in a straight line like that, in one row. So as they were coming, I felt like I was like an air hostess standing there. And I was greeting Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna. Each of them as a kid came by. I was just looking straight at each person and saying, Hare Krishna. And then I say Hare Krishna, and I see Guru Maharaj is there. So he had also come walking behind. As these donors left, he was also walking behind them in that same line. And I was saying Hare Krishna to him also like that. So it was very funny how that happened. During the Vyas Puja that I used to attend in Mayapur, I used to hear all the glorifications. And I remember one Mataji, she said that as Guru Maharaj was hearing those glorifications, he was holding one rose flower, one flower in his hand. And she was thinking that I want that flower. She was just thinking in her mind that I want that flower. And after some time, Guru Maharaj threw that flower and it came exactly to her. So when she spoke, she was telling this incident. And she said how Guru Maharaj knows what's in our heart. So how Krishna is communicating to him what's in our heart, he knows, he hears, and he's responding in that way. So I always believe that Guru Maharaj is representing Krishna. And whatever I think, whatever I need, whatever is good for me, is coming through Guru Maharaj. So one time I had this doubt because initially I was doing so many services for the Temple for iskcon. And then after some time I was doing more at home for the children, not doing such active service as before. And I started getting some doubts in my mind that am I doing the right thing? What is the priority? Somehow some of these doubts started coming in my mind. And I was thinking, I should ask Guru Maharaj what should I do? Then I thought, no, I will not ask Guru Maharaj. I will just ask in my mind. And I'm sure Guru Maharaj will answer when some class he is giving, he will answer me. So I'm not going to ask him. But I want the answer. So I was just internally, I was praying that Guru Maharaj, I want clarity on this. And after some time, Guru Maharaj came. It was Damodar month and he was speaking the glories of Damodar. And suddenly he started talking about the four regulative principles. And I was wondering, what is the connection? Why is he talking about four regulative principles? And then he talked about Grastha Srama. And then he talked about how for the child Prabhupada said that child worship is more important than deity worship. And he was speaking a lot about how Grastha should take care of the children and that is their priority. And then I just heard the class and that's it. And then after I went home, then it started dawning on me that this is exactly the question I had. And I wanted Guru Maharaj to speak about it in class. And that is what happened. So I was really surprised. And the next day, morning I went and told Guru Maharaj that this was my desire. And this happened. Guru Maharaj, I conveyed to him how he had answered my question just as I wanted in class. So in this way I feel that very strong connection between Paramatma and Gurmaraj, how Krishna is responding to us through Guru Maharaj. So this has given me a very strong faith that whatever Guru Maharaj says, whether it seems favorable to me or it seems something against what I wanted, still whatever Guru Maharaj says, I will accept it as the word of Krishna. And that way I'm sure my faith in Krishna, my advancement in Ka consciousness is also safe. Because I can see that. I accept what Guru Maharaj says. Because I have seen this, that what I think in the mind and that Guru Maharaj is responding in that way. So that increases my faith that yes, he is representing Krishna for me. And one nice incident we had after Vyas Puja, we are going back to Chennai. So on the way we stopped at Balasore Just before Kolkata, that place, there was a very big Namahatta program. So we stopped there and evening the namah, the program was going on stage, Program was going on and Guru Maharaj and a few male devotees, they were on one side dancing, and on the other side the women were dancing. So the people on stage, they were all the white people, Prabhupada dancing, white elephants. And myself and my friend, we were standing among the people and we were thinking, oh, if only we could also go there and be with Gurmaraj on the stage. And then I said, no, but we are not white elephants, so better we dance here. So I told my friend, let us serve Guru Maharaj from here. So let us make the people around us clap and chant. So we started encouraging everyone, all the people around us in the audience, come on, clap. Come on, chant. We were making everyone, we are enthusing everyone to chant like this. And Guru Maharaj noticed, and he's dancing very gracefully, Swami steps. And he was holding his hand like this, praise like this. And then he was doing like this. So we knew he's calling us on stage. So immediately, Lila Mai, my friend, and we ran to the stage, to the backside, and Imata ji there, she said, come, but you should dance very gracefully. No jumping. You have to dance very gracefully. Guru Maharaj said, you should dance gracefully. So we were there and we were so happy that we could also participate in that preaching program with Guru Maharaj. And then after that was over, Guru Maharaj started giving class and it was time for us to go. Our bus was leaving Salilammai and I, we came to the front and we thought, guru Maharaj will notice us again. He noticed us last time. He will notice us again. So we are there sitting on our knees that Guru Maharaj will see us and we will immediately offer obeisance. We are sitting there and Gur Maharaj was just not noticing us. So we thought, okay, it's over. So we offered obeisances and we left immediately. So that was very sweet how Guru Maharaj was just gracefully dancing. But he called us over also. After Guru Maharaj got the stroke, then I was thinking about it and I felt very upset that over some years I had not really done anything for Guru Maharaj. Several years ago, I had done that book called Spiritual Truth from Cyberspace. That's the time when computers and WINCOM had started and Guru Maharaj had this conference called Spiritual Answers to Krishna Conscious Questions or something like that. He had a conference where people could ask questions and he would give answers so that Time, not many people had computers. Hardly anyone had Vincom. So then during one JSS program, I felt that I should take this to the people. So then I started working on it. I started collecting all the questions and answers. I started organizing them into. I put it under Sadhusanga Bhajana, Kriya Nishta, like that Sadhana. So I organized the whole thing and I made it into a book. So it was to be presented for Guru Maharaj Vyas Puja. I think it was 1996. So I could not print the book. It was not in my capacity, so I could just do the work required, background work required for that book. So I just took. I went to the shop, took one print out, had it properly bound so I could offer to Guru Maharaj. And just in case, I kept one Xerox copy also in my suitcase. And in case the binding was not well, I can do one more. And in the train that same evening, we were leaving, and because the binding was still wet, I kept it in my bag and kept it open so it could dry. And that time in the train, that whole bag was stolen. So that book was gone. But fortunately I had the Xerox copy in the suitcase. As soon as I came to Mayapur, I got it bound again at the BBT place and I could offer it to Guru Maharaj. But somehow, though the book was offered, my name was not mentioned. And I could not get the reciprocation from Guru Maharaj for doing that service. Probably the devotees, I told him, but I didn't know anything. What was the communication about the book in that regard? So that is the book which was later published. It's still there in the JPS publication. It's called Spiritual Truths from Cyberspace. Banu Maharaj gave that name for that book. So much later, when I sent Guru Maharaj a report of my summer camp, he was very happy. And then one time he sent me an email quoting some other book. And he said, since you did a book before, why don't you try to do one more like this? He sent something. So I said, oh, Guru Maharaj, you know I did the book. I didn't know that you knew I did it. And I explained to him how I had done the book. But during Vyas Puja, I did not get any reciprocation because it's something I did out of love for my Guru Maharaj. And I didn't even get a garland or something from, you know, some reciprocation I didn't get. I wrote to him that and Guru Maharaj immediately wrote me a very, very sweet mail. And he was actually, like, responding to the summer camp report. And he said, mentally, I'm giving you a garland of gardenias, some flowers that I have never heard before. So he mentioned some flowers like that, and he said, mentally, I'm giving you a garland. So then I felt very satisfied. And then another time, I noticed how devotees were having difficulty in answering the initiation question, getting prepared for initiation. So I thought I should help them. So I made a book, a handbook for as soon as people take shelter, we give out this book. So in Chennai, we have been doing this. We give a book so they know the answers to all the questions there. So Banu Maharaj, of course, Banu Maharaj is always there to guide us in Chennai. So when I talked to him about this book, he said, don't give, like, question, answer, question answer, but give the information that they need to know which will help them answer those questions. So I had put together all that. There you will find the lecture which Prabhupada gave and Guru Maharaj got initiated. And there is a lecture that Guru Maharaj gives during initiation. So where he talks about the 10 offenses and then the different philosophical questions. All the answers are there. And then I did some research on why we should not take tk coffee, onion, garlic, gave some scientific information. So like this, I had made this book also. So after Guru Maharaj got the stroke, I felt very bad that I have not done anything for Guru Maharaj in a long time. I wasted so much opportunity. I wasted. And now Guru Maharaj, in this situation, will I be able to get his association? Will I be able to do any service for him? So then I thought that, okay, let me put together his pastimes. So now I'm recording this video. So at that time, that few years ago, I thought, let me put together his pastime, said, let me do this as an offering to Guru Maharaj. So I came to Bombay when Guru Maharaj was still in the hospital. And at that time, he would, like, shake his leg. When people asked him a question, he would shake his right leg or left leg. And this way he was communicating. So I went and told Guru Maharaj, guru Maharaj, I want to do this for you. I want to put together your pastime so devotees can get inspired by reading about this. And there was someone else there, I think Bhakti, Siddhanta, Saraswati, Maharaj. He was there. And he said, guru Maharaj, what do you think? Do you want this to be done? Shake your right leg, and Guru Maharaj was shaking his right leg so strongly, everyone was laughing. So then after that, we tried to do a website, started interviewing devotees, collecting stories, and it's still there, the website, it's called simplymerciful.com. so we tried our little that we could do to put together Guru Maharaj pastime. So that was an opportunity where I was also talking to many devotees and getting to know their pastimes. Earlier, I had an opportunity to do that when I was asked to write the biography of Gurmaraj. So that time also I got in touch with the senior devotees I knew and collected a lot of information with which I could write that short biography of Gurmaraj. So it's very nice that pastimes are being recorded like this, because it's always so interesting and educative, informative, inspiring to hear these pastimes of Guru Maharaj Haribo.