Author & CEO Stephanee Beggs on Debrief and Leading Change in Nursing

Welcome to Club Nurse. I'm Colton Lord, your host. By you being here today, it shows me that you are someone who wants to learn, grow, laugh, connect, and just let your emotions flow. We are here to share real stories and hear real-life experiences from real people. You are not alone in this, and Club Nurse is here to show you that. Don't forget to follow the show and share today's episode with someone you love. Now let's dive into today's Welcome back to Club Nurse, everybody. I have with me a total, like, force to be reckoned with in the nursing world. I'm super excited to talk to Stephanie, and it's Stephanie Beggs, correct? Am I saying your name right?

Yep.

Okay, kind of tell us exactly, like, what you do in the nursing world, um, and talk to us. I know you just had a book come out, so we'll talk about that, of course. Um, but also, I know that you launched a business, RN Explained. Tell us the origin story. How did that start?

Oh gosh. Okay. I feel like I wear many hats, so I can go down many different lanes, but I graduated in 2020 from nursing school right as the pandemic just started. So my career was right at that time. Thrown into the fire. I started— literally, it's all I knew. And that's something I talk about in my book was that I literally started in the fire and that's All I knew of nursing, but I graduated 2020. I started as a new grad in the emergency department, which is possible. You don't have to start in med-surg.

Right.

So started there. At the same time was when I created RN Explained, which is an educational platform. I teach and sell nursing resources to nursing students or nurses, and those kind of took off at the same time. I've been doing both concurrently forever for 5 years now. And then I wrote a book, Debrief.

Debrief. Yes, I have. I also have my copy here. Funny, I actually— so I literally today checked my mail and I had gotten the copy that you had like sent me, but I bought a copy because I was like, I want to like dive into this book before our conversation. So I'm going to gift the other one to somebody.

Oh, good. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. So I have 2 copies of it. It's great. I have not read like the entire thing, but I've gone through it. I love it. I think you have some great insight, very vulnerably sharing a lot of things that you've been through. So kind of talking a little bit more on RN Explained. So were you just like posting like your notes or things that you had done and it kind of just like took off? Like, was this your goal? Were you planning on having this big business?

Yeah. So not my goal, literally at all. It was, um, completely unintentional. So when I started RN Explained was, like I said, right as the pandemic hit, I was one month from graduating. nursing school. So at that time, I'm starting to prepare for the NCLEX. Because everything shut down and we were quarantined at home, I had nobody to study with. So I started creating these videos and these study sheets to help me learn. And I would record myself and play them back over and over to help me prepare for the NCLEX 'cause I had nobody else to do that with.

Yeah, right.

So that's how I started. And one day I was so bored, TikTok was on the rise, and I posted one of those teaching videos onto TikTok for fun, for no reason. I didn't really know how to use the app or anything, and it skyrocketed.

It went viral. Your first post.

Yeah, it went completely viral. And then I started to realize like, huh, like everybody is loving the way I teach. And I've always had, like growing up, I've always had a very like teacher-esque kind of vibe. So it was really fitting. But at the time I had no idea that That was all intersecting. And so I, I was like, huh, okay, these people really like how I'm teaching. I'm just gonna keep posting these because it's helping me to help them and I'm studying for the NCLEX, so I'm just gonna do it. And so I posted more and more and more and, um, every single video popped off on TikTok. And then all the comments kept saying, where can I buy these sheets? Can I buy these? Can I buy these? So at the time I was like, why don't I? Just scan them into PDFs and put them onto Etsy. I created an Etsy shop.

And these were just, these were just like your notes that you—

Yes.

Yeah.

Yeah. They were literally my handwritten notes and they were just notes I was making as I was studying for the boards. So I started an Etsy shop, called it RN Explained, and it boomed. And then I just kept going. So I grad— or I passed the NCLEX. At that point, I didn't really need to make the videos anymore, but I continued to because I realized how many people it actually was helping. And then we just kind of grew And explain from there.

So talking about being like of the COVID generation of nurses, were you of the like in the nurse— in the nursing program, or maybe you had just— you had graduated, so you kind of missed this part, but like, were you having like the virtual clinicals and all of that stuff, or were you able to kind of like— you were like the end of that?

I was the tail start of when that changed. So I had 2 weeks left of clinicals before everything turned to being online for that entire nursing Yeah. For those courses. And no, so I kind of lucked out. I had all my clinicals in person. Everything was completely fine until literally the last 2 weeks of me graduating.

Yeah. So I, I was reading, like I said, through your book, and I called it Debrief. I was reading about your origin story and how your family— you come from a family of business people that are in business. If you don't mind just kind of talking to us about this, you had originally gone to school for business and were working, correct, before choosing nursing. So talk to us about that origin story with your family and kind of going down the business route because that's what you knew, what was comfortable for you and how you were able to make that shift into like a completely different field of nursing. Yeah.

So I, I love to talk about this because I feel like it's such an unconventional route to nursing, which not many people talk about, but it is so much more common than people talk about. So I went originally to college for business marketing. And like I talk about in my book, it was all I knew. I grew up in a family of entrepreneurs. My parents both own a company together in software. And then my brother does film and production. And then my sister is a graphic designer. So everybody has their own kind of like company, grew up in the entrepreneur life. So when it came time to me, I'm the youngest of all of us, I was like, what do I do in college? I like the idea of business marketing, but I think I realized later on that it was more so a hobby than it was an actual profession for me. And so I went down that route. Halfway through college, I realized this is not what I like. And so I decided that I knew I wanted to switch careers to something that I wanted to do, but I was so close to getting that degree in business marketing. I thought, all right, screw it. I'm just going to get the degree. I'll give it my best shot. If I don't like it, then I can always go back to school. So that was my game plan. And so I did that. I graduated, I worked for Warner Brothers for a hot minute, did not like it, but I gave it my best shot. And then I went back to school and just, I don't even like to say started over because a lot of the things I learned in that life of mine—

Helping you now.

Translated. Oh my gosh, it translated so much into what I do now. But I had to take new prereqs, like ones that I didn't take for business marketing for nursing now. And then so that I had to do.

And then I applied to nursing schools and did I love how you reframe that of not starting over, because I think that's even true for that. People need to realize, like, even, you know, from the other end of the spectrum, if from a nursing standpoint, if this is not something that's feeding your soul that you're no longer wanting to do, the— to make that pivot is not starting over. Because what people don't realize is that nurses actually have a lot of transferable skills to other professions.

So much.

Right. Like if that's something that you are thinking about doing. Um, so yeah, it kind of goes to both ends of the spectrum. You were able to, you know, again, with what you're doing with business that I'm, I'm I'm sure that that business marketing degree and your experience helped like tremendously, as you know, marketing is obviously huge in the business world. If you don't mind, if you're comfortable talking about it, can you talk to me about your mom and what a pivotal or pivotal role she played in your life, in this journey for you and kind of how this all unfolded as you were starting your nursing?

Yeah. So my mom was diagnosed with stage 4 gallbladder cancer. So random. Does not run in the family, so it threw us all for a loop. She was diagnosed when I was starting my prereqs for nursing. So when I decided I wanna go to nursing school, then bam, that hit. And so it's funny because I feel like a lot of people say like, oh, your mom was your reason that you went to nursing school. And I, to be honest, she wasn't my reason.

Mm-hmm.

I had decided long before that I wanted to go to nursing school and pursue something in medicine. But when she got diagnosed, I would say that was my, Like clarification that this is exactly where I wanted to be and what I wanted to pursue. So she was diagnosed right during prereqs, took care of her, also did my prereqs, went to nursing school, and then midway through nursing school— so I did an accelerated BSN program, which is— Those are tough. It's insane. So my program was only 1 year long. from May to May.

Yeah.

And in November, right before winter break, my mom passed away right at finals week. So she was there for half of the program and then passed away. And then thankfully, like I would say silver lining is I got that time not in the program during winter break to kind of be with my family, process, grieve, all of that. And then I, we, Started back up in mid-January and I continued and graduated. Yeah.

Wow. And so that's pretty quick from the start of her diagnosis to when she died, right? That was a pretty quick process. Was she having like symptoms before? Was this just something that came on so suddenly and like really unexpected?

Super, super crazy. So she was diagnosed in 2017, end of 2017, passed away November of 2019. So it was a little, a little less than 2 years that She had, although when she was diagnosed, they gave her 6 months. So it's pretty great that she made it almost, yeah, almost 2 years. Her symptoms, so it's kind of funny, all growing up she always had issues with feeling she got full too quickly. She always felt bloated, couldn't go to the bathroom, constipated, all of these things. But every single time in high school, I remember she would seek out doctor after doctor after doctor. Of like, I know something is wrong, but I don't know what it is. And I'm always getting full. I'm not really hungry. Like, da da da, all these things. And every single doctor was like, well, maybe you're gluten intolerant. So in high school, my entire kitchen, every single thing that was made was gluten-free. Literally every snack, every ingredient was gluten-free in the pantry. And then, so we switched that whole lifestyle, didn't do anything. Then they said, well, you need to exercise more. My mom is a very, We ran marathons together when I was in high school, so she was very active. So that wasn't it too. She had trouble losing weight even though how active she was. And then at one point she saw so many doctors that one of them thought she had a psych issue, that she was saying something was wrong with her when really nothing was wrong.

That's what they always turn to when they can't figure it out, right?

Exactly. Yes. And how persistent you are, like, with your own health. And then finally My brother was getting married December of 2017. And 2 weeks before his wedding, my mom woke up with a ball size, like a literal golf ball size, right by her super pubic ovaries area. And it was palpable, like you could feel it over the skin.

Wow.

And it was super odd. So then she went obviously to the doctors, they did their testing and whatnot. That came back as ovarian, like a tumor on her ovary. So they thought ovarian cancer at first.

Yeah.

And this was 2 weeks before my brother's wedding. We did not tell my brother before the wedding. Only I knew and my sister knew. And then the wife, my brother's wife's parents knew. They didn't know, my brother and my sister-in-law. So right after, so right after the wedding, The surgery came to take out the tumors. My mom had the fancy term, the salpingo-oophorectomy or whatever it is where they take out the—

The gallbladder.

Yeah, exactly. And so we did that surgery right after the wedding during Christmas time. And then when the surgeon was in there was when he was like, hmm, your gallbladder looks inflamed. I'm gonna take a piece of that and just run it just for good measure. Turns out it was actually gallbladder cancer that had skipped every other organ, went to the ovaries, and was now caught in the ovaries too late. So that's why it was stage 4.

Yeah.

And but it started as gallbladder, so we thought it was ovarian at first, but it wasn't.

Wow. That's, that's a pretty crazy story. And again, I mean, just going back to advocating for your health and, you know, again, like I said, going always comes down to, oh, there's something going on psychiatric, which I mean, sometimes there might be, but it's just like more times than not, like, no, people are advocating for their health.

Yes.

And it sounds like from what I was reading, it sounds like your mom was a pretty badass in the business world as well.

Oh yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I loved reading about that. And, um, I'm sure like you landing yourself on the Forbes 30 Under 30 list is just like a, you know, probably just, I'm sure that would've made her so proud cuz she didn't get to see you get to that point. No. Correct. Yeah.

Yeah.

Um, so that's awesome. I hope that, I hope that you took the time to like really just like sit in that and be proud of yourself cuz that's, it's a huge accomplishment to be able to—

Yeah.

Get on a list like that. Yeah.

Yeah.

And that was for, that was for RN Explained that you were on the 30 Under 30?

Yes.

Yeah.

That was for RN Explained. I became 30 Under 30 in the education department, which is actually, I was the first nurse to ever be named in Forbes 30 Under 30 under education. So.

That's so cool. That's so cool. And that's, yeah, it's a title you'll never, like, you'll be able to carry with you forever. So that's, that's super cool. Um, so aside from RN Explained, let's talk about the book. Uh, it's called, again, for everybody out there listening, it's called Debrief. Um, so kind of talk to us about where the title came from, where the inspiration for writing the book came from. So just talk to us about that.

Yeah. So the title, funny story actually. So I've always known that I wanted to write a book ever since I was like in high school growing up. I've always said no one listens to me, so I'm going to write a book so people start listening to me. And it was like a running joke forever. And then like obviously when I took on this social media presence and I, you know, I'm a nurse now and people listen, should listen to you. I always made this joke with my coworkers, like, no one listens to me, I'm gonna write a book about all these stories of nursing stuff.

Yeah.

So I've had in my Notes app on my phone since literally the day I started bedside nursing was all of these stories that I would, if I were to write a book, I would write about those, like stories that have stuck with me or lessons that I've learned, mistakes I've made, things like that. And then I always joked with my physicians that I worked with when I was night shift. I always said, I'm going to write a book and it's going to be called When the World Sleeps: Stories of a Night Shift Nurse. And so that was like, that's what I was thinking it was going to be at first. Then, you know, as time went on and I actually like got more serious about like, no, listen, I actually really want to write a book.

Mm-hmm.

A lot of my stories weren't all strictly night shift. So I knew that that title wouldn't Really go because it wasn't— yeah, it wasn't all night shift at that point. It was more like literally any shift, and I've done all the shifts.

Yeah.

So then I started pondering. So I started writing the book. I didn't have the title yet. And then midway through writing the book, when I thought about it, I was like, what is something— I don't really know how I even came up with the word debrief, but debrief in healthcare is like a huge word and a huge concept that is often overlooked and—

So many times overlooked.

Not really talked about.

That was one of the things that I literally thought of as I was looking at the book, reading it, hearing the title, like I thought to myself, how many times, like, did I need to be debriefed? That I like, I can't even tell you honestly, like a moment where I can even remember like having a debrief. Yeah.

Yes, exactly. And so when I thought about it more, I was like, what is the concept of this book? The concept of the book is me talking about all of these stories and Going through them all and understanding what I did wrong or what somebody else did wrong or a lesson I learned. And what do you call that? You call that a debrief. And then I thought like, huh, that actually really is a good play on words because we do debrief, or we should debrief in the hospital. We're supposed to. Yeah. And do we often? No. And a lot of these stories were stories that I never got to debrief. And so it kind of just like worked that that was the name and I just ran with it after that.

What I've felt like, what I have learned talking to— because I'm also like, I also have like a dream of writing a book. I've been in the works of writing a book, actually. I have been. I've been writing and writing and it's, as you know, it's a process and you finish a draft and you're like, oh my God, this sucks. I need to go back through it. It's just a process. But what I have learned talking to other nurses that have written books is just the— just how— I don't know, like a better term other than just like how cathartic it is to just get everything out of your body. Oh yeah. Even if you're— even if it's just journaling and you're not going to share it with the world, just getting all of that stuff, that trauma, those things that you need to debrief about, just like getting it out of your body and seeing it on paper is just— is therapeutic within itself. So I'm sure that your process through this was therapeutic just to just get that out of your body.

Yes. Yes, definitely. And re— re— having to re-experience some of these stories as I write them was— was— yes, it was healing. It was therapeutic. It was Um, I, I remembered things that I had pushed so far back that like resurfaced when I, when I read some of these. And it was fun. It was, it was tough, but it was a fun like process writing.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think that's why, like, I think a lot of us roll our eyes at the thought of journaling, but it really is. It really is like however you can get that out of your body. So talk to us about being, 'cause you kind of touched on being like a new grad in the ER, which like you said, yes, it's possible. It's a little bit, I think, harder sometimes to get into an ER as a new grad, but it is possible if that's what you're really wanting to do. You talked about it being really like a war zone because especially you were starting during the pandemic, like just crazy, crazy times. So talk to us about that. How was it being a new grad, not only trying to like learn how to navigate the hospital, the emergency room, the fast pace, but also this was a time that was unprecedented that nobody— like things were changing rapidly. It literally gives me goosebumps to just like think about how fast things were changing.

Yeah, same.

How every day we were like, expected to like, you know, what's the new policy change? Like, I remember when COVID first started, it was like nobody can use the masks. Like, we have to, you know, then it was like you have to wear a mask. And it was just like things were changing because we just didn't know what was going on, you know, to nobody's fault. Well, there might be some people's fault, whatever. So talk to us about that. How was it being a new grad in the ER?

You know, I had a blast and I feel like that is not the answer that people would think that you would give, but I Although the times were not the best, I was so ready to be working in the ER that I was just happy to be there, no matter what the condition was. And yes, it was very traumatic, but I learned so much about myself. And I feel like, and I say this all the time, going into the ER during a pandemic was That I had nothing else to base the nursing profession off of. That's all I knew what nursing was.

It's almost like a benefit, really, kind of. Yes.

So I saw the worst of the worst. I saw the worst of the worst. And then we worked backwards. Yeah. But going in, everybody was like, man, like, how was it working during the pandemic? It wasn't bad to me because to me, that's all I knew. I was trained for that. The hard part was retraining my brain after the pandemic of what normal— of what the normal actually was, you know? And so I think that was more tough to learn how to not live in crisis mode was tougher. But the pandemic, working during that, it was, it was hard, but it was super rewarding, super fulfilling.

Yeah.

You learn to really adapt to everything because every day, like you said, was different. One day you wore a mask, the other day they said don't wear the mask. The next day you had these isolation rooms, the next day these were isolation rooms, you know? So it was just like every day and every week was something new. But I think the nature of the ER and like the personality of the ER nurse, that we love that. Like, that's like our thing.

Yeah.

So I didn't mind it. It was fun. Like, it was fun to go through that with a group of people that, like, you know, could relate to you and what you were going through. And yeah.

Because you needed that, really. I remember, I remember feeling so isolated in the sense, like, I don't know what I would have done without my coworkers and just being able to lean on them because I specifically remember having, like, very heated conversations with, like, family on the phone because I lived in Arizona. We don't have to get into the details of all that, but it just wasn't taken seriously.

Yes.

Um, and you know, when you are the one on the front lines doing, you know, doing these things, helping people, seeing what's actually happening, you take it personally 'cause you're like, how can you not take it as seriously? But then they weren't seeing what was actually happening or they're ignoring it, turning a blind eye.

Yeah.

Um, so yeah, it was very isolating. Um, and I remember like my, I talked about this actually in my last podcast with the guest about how I went to therapy for the first time, like years after the pandemic. And I, I, the first session did not even expect to bring up being a nurse during COVID And I, I immediately just like started crying and I was like, I didn't even realize that was like, that I had those emotions still. Like, I, I had just never like talked about it in that way. Like just, you know, with someone that's not gonna like judge what I'm saying. Um, and so, yeah, I just think that, uh, again, you writing it out on paper is, uh, is so helpful. So what do you think during, do you have any, any specific scenario or patient that sticks out to you in your head during, during the pandemic that, that you felt the need to like write about it?

Oh, yes.

Yeah. So what's, what's like the, What's the top one that always comes to mind for a patient?

The first one, and I wrote about this in my book, is the very first patient I had that I gowned up. It was the first patient that I fully gowned up for, and COVID PPE, not just your casual gown up, full COVID PPE, and going into the room. And it was my first time on my own. My preceptor wasn't with me. I walked into the room. The physician was behind me, also wanted to walk into the room at the same time. And I'm like, yes, let's go. Like, I'm working next to the physician. I was so excited. And then the first things that came out of her mouth to the patient was, you're not gonna make it outta here alive and call your family because you are being admitted. COVID is really bad for you. And I remember sitting there like, damn, like this is, This is real. Like, you hear about it all the time and you can tell your family and you see it, but being literally face to face with it was like— I will never forget that patient and that scenario of me walking in so excited. Ready to go. Yeah, ready to go with the physician. And then somebody's world is just crashing down. He did not live. He got admitted to the hospital, or we brought him upstairs, and then I don't think he ever made it out.

How old was he?

And it was so sad. He was older. He was like, I would say maybe in his like 65, maybe 70. And he didn't look good. Like, I knew, but it was the harsh reality of like, I knew it, but to see it and to hear those words was so shocking to me. And that—

Do you think that this was— do you think that this was like the doctor Just being so burnt out and not knowing what to say, or was this kind of like a trend from them? What do you think that was? Do you think that's an appropriate way to do it? How do you feel about that, I guess?

I think it was a little bit of both. I think in that time, what— the question I ask myself is, was there an appropriate way to do it? You know? Because in a way, you're sugarcoating it for the patient. Or you say it flat out, you know, to the patient. And in a way, that is almost kind of— the physician is protecting themselves too. So when they say it, when they say something so bluntly, it's almost, I feel like, a way for them to protect themselves from the emotion of that.

And not like attach to them, like to kind of put up a boundary, a wall.

Exactly.

Like emotionally get involved in that.

Yeah, exactly. And so I don't even know if there is a right way, like To go about it. And that, I think, was the best way for that physician to just get out the words without being attached to them or feeling it as well.

Yeah, it's a good way to put it, because if you think about just the numbers of people we were seeing coming in and decompensating and dying, it was like, yeah, you can't— as the healthcare professionals being there every day, like, you can't— you physically cannot carry that versus in our day-to-day life working in the ER. Yes, you're seeing things, but it's not— it was not— we were not seeing— we don't see death now to the volume we were seeing it during the pandemic.

Yeah.

Like, I also remember I worked in a very, very busy ER in Arizona, and I just remember same thing, kind of like what you were talking about. It was— I think this was kind of universal, just like the iPad, you know, FaceTime, you need to call your family and having these conversations with people in their 40s, like, you know, that are otherwise were healthy. And these were things that I would try to communicate to my family and stuff is like, this is not just old unhealthy people coming in, you know, this is—

Yeah.

Across the whole spectrum. And I'm telling you, like, I'm helping somebody FaceTime their family at 40 who's otherwise, you know, pretty healthy to just possibly say their goodbyes. And that's heavy. That stuff sticks with you. And again, it's not like it's just like one here and there. Like, that's when you're dealing with that every day. It's a lot. And I think a lot of nurses who worked during the pandemic still carry a lot of this weight and haven't— have not processed that. And I think by reading your book, it also, even for me, just made me feel like less alone. Like, oh, I wasn't like the only one experiencing this. I wasn't crazy. You know, there's other people out there that have, have these stories as well.

Yes.

So, yeah, crazy times. COVID.

Crazy.

Did you do travel nursing during COVID as well, or?

Not during COVID I did it like post-COVID. Um, so I didn't get the COVID pay, crisis pay.

Yeah. But you didn't need it. You were building your business. You were, you were fine.

Exactly.

Exactly. I, I did, I, I did capitalize on a little bit of the COVID pay at the, um, yeah, and it was definitely worth it. I worked myself to death doing it, but it was the pay that, you know, it was like, how do you pass, pass those contracts up?

Exactly.

Um, another story I wanted you to talk about that I think people will will benefit from hearing is talk about the story you wrote in the book about where you found— where you felt the confidence like build in, like when you finally felt that moment of just like, I am confident. Like, can you share a little bit about that?

Yeah. One of my favorite, hardest but favorite chapters to write because this one stuck with me for literally every day. I think about this patient.

I can understand why. Yeah.

Yeah. Long story short, I had a patient came in. This is when I was no longer a new grad. I was, I was on my own but still new. kind of, and still trying to find like my place in the ER. And so I had this patient come in and she was fine by our visual presentation. She was fine. But as she— and she came in, the complaint was she was getting a transfusion at home for some sort of condition. And I go through all the detail of that—

Yeah.

chapter, but she was getting this transfusion at home, had the most slightest complaint of a, like, can't catch the breath type of complaint, but it was so minimal. And thank God to the home health nurse who caught that and followed the protocol and stopped the infusion and wanted her to get checked out at the ER. But anyway, so upon presentation, that was how she was. She was like, I don't know why I'm here. This is so stupid. And to be honest, we agreed. Yeah. We didn't know why she like she needed to be checked out either. She looked just fine, but the physician said like you know let's just watch her for you know a couple hours. We'll run some labs. If everything's fine, you can go. And over the course of a couple of the hours that passed, she got worse and worse, and it was to the point where she her oxygen saturation dropped so much, and it was so quick that now I'm standing face to face with this patient who is. Not coherent, begging me not to die, seeing butterflies and seeing things in the air, asking where her kids are, tugging at her throat. Like, what am I supposed to do? And I had exhausted all efforts of calling the physician because the patient was now being admitted. It is no longer the ER physician, it's the attending.

Which is an important distinction because I don't think people realize how much the Collaboration shifts when you have to go from ER to inpatient and getting them down there.

Exactly. Exactly. So while I'm still playing ER nurse with my other patients, I'm now like admitting nurse, kind of like doing floor things with the admitting physician. So there's a lot of layers to it when you like work in ER. But so now I'm trying to contact this admitting physician who has no regard or no care in the world to come down and see this patient and lay eyes on them, no matter how much I said, This does not look right.

Yeah.

And so it was in that moment that everybody around me— yes, I had the support of like my ER team, but they also were busy. And so in a way, you are— I don't like to say alone because you're never alone, but like, I know the patient the most. It's my patient. I need to fight for them. And so that's what I had to do. And so I did so many things and I talked about it in the, in the chapter, but There were so many stops that I had to pull to advocate for this patient. And that was the moment I realized that nothing else mattered. That, like, that's when I stepped into my confidence of, I don't care what anybody thinks about me. If I'm being dramatic, if I'm like overstepping boundaries, I don't care who you are. I will do what I need to do to get this patient intubated because that's what needed to happen.

Yeah.

And I think it literally makes me like emotional when I think about it because I truly believe that if I didn't step into my confidence that night, she would not be alive.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. So—

I believe that too.

It was like the story, like the moment where I remember like my advocacy, like that, that was the nurse I wanted to be.

Yeah.

And I stepped into that role that night. And like from then on, nothing mattered. Like, I don't care what you think of me, ego, hierarchy, nothing mattered. And that was like a huge moment for me because I feel like people, new nurses, they felt like how I felt.

Yeah.

And they don't know like how to not overstep boundaries or they get scared to say something Or they think that they're, you know, being overdramatic about something or whatever. And so they just don't say anything at all. They take the heat, they take it all. And like, you have to step into your confidence at one point. And sometimes it's not easily taught. It has to be like in an experience. And for me, that was my experience, was that moment where I had no choice but to step into that confidence. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, first of all, thank you so much for sharing that. I know I can, I can see obviously that that brings emotion out of you.

And that's not always easy to talk about.

Yeah.

Yeah. And no matter how much I talk, like, I literally wrote an entire chapter about it thinking like, oh, I've processed that. Like, it takes you back. How many times it takes you back? Because I feel like that was like a huge moment of my career was that transition. Yeah.

So yeah, those, those things again, like you're saying, no matter how much you talk about it, write about it. Yes, you may have processed that, but it brings you back there. I have similar stories. I've been on podcasts same as you're like now where you when you talk about it, no matter how many times you have, like it just brings you there. You feel that emotion that your body felt. It's, it's, it's literally wired in your body and your nerves and nervous system.

I agree.

And I think that what you're— that is such an important story for so many reasons and not honestly, not even only for new grads, because even as you know, I've been a nurse for almost 7 years and I still will sometimes feel that like, oh, like, are they going to think I'm stupid if I say something or am I overstepping? Like those things constantly come up. But the message you're you're putting across is, yes, you might feel that way, but say what you need to say anyways. And I talked about this with my last guest as well. Um, I don't know if you know her work. She, she was on NurseCon. I don't know if you was on the cruise, but her name's Jennifer Johnson. She wrote Nursing Intuition. Um, I would check, check it out. It's a great book. But her, her whole thing is like trusting that intuition, that gut feeling.

Yes.

And even if you are, even if you are wrong, about maybe there's nothing wrong with the patient. Obviously you were— obviously you knew something was wrong.

Yeah.

But if you're— even if the doctor comes, you're wrong, and they think that you're stupid for telling them, just the fact that they are laying another, you know, eyes on the patient again and reassessing, the patient's odds of having a positive outcome just increase so much. And it's like, doesn't matter. Trust that instinct, trust that intuition. And if you are, you know, afraid of what they're going to think of you, just If you can not make it about yourself and make it more about the patient, this is about the patient.

Yes.

Even if I feel and look stupid, who cares? Like, I can at least now have peace of mind that the patient is okay or that there's, you know, a physician here to put eyes on them.

Yeah. Or you've done everything that you could have done.

Yes.

You didn't hold anything back inside.

And you're not going to go home after your shift and like, be like, oh my God, like, why did I say that?

Like, I should have said something or— That, I think, is worse than not saying anything at all. Worse?

Yes. Yeah, because you go home and then you're like losing sleep. You're like, oh my God, like, how is that patient doing? Like, did I, did I miss something because I didn't say it? Versus if you just say it and you're wrong, like, whatever, you can go home and like sleep knowing, okay, well, I at least said what I felt, you know, like, and you're going to learn from that. So I think that's—

And to be honest, I feel like, I feel like your peers and physicians, when, if you work alongside them in the ER, we work alongside them all the time. Even if you are wrong, the fact that you're saying things out loud sometimes makes you more respectable.

I think. That's cool.

And there's been so many times after that where we've been in the middle of a code or like something that is so high stress and the physicians will come to me to ask me questions because they respect, you know, the thought of like, let's brainstorm this out loud and like we're able to do that. So I think like, if anything, like don't ever think that you're being dumb, stupid, overstepping, overreacting or something, because if anything, it makes you more Respected.

I appreciate you coming on Club Nurse. How do people find you? How do people get your book? How do people— if they need resources with RN Explained, how do we find you?

Yeah, so I have— so any educational— you want a little educational tidbit here and there, Instagram and TikTok. Stephanie Beggs on Instagram, Steph Beggs on TikTok. I post all educational stuff and a little bit about my life lately too, so you can see a little more behind the person. To buy any of my educational resources, RNexplained.com. That has all of my nursing resources for any single step of the nursing journey that you are on. You can also get my book Debrief on there as well. If you buy from my website, I hand ship them myself. So it comes with like little stickers, bookmarks, thank you stuff, whatever.

Got a bookmark. Yeah, yeah, I got the stickers.

Yeah. And then it is also available though. Debrief is available on Amazon. Amazon too. So if you want that tomorrow, you can get it on Prime. Love it.

Are we finding this in bookstores anywhere? Is it just online that we're finding it?

Soon. Soon. So I'm loading— the process is crazy. I didn't know this with writing a book, but there's so much behind the scenes. But soon it will be available in bookstores and Target. And that's international as well. But yeah, so right now my website and Amazon.

Cool. Love it. Well, thank you so much. I appreciate you taking the time to share with us. Your stories are amazing. People are going to connect to them. Get the book, everybody. Debrief. Um, so thanks, Stephanie.

Thank you.

From the bottom of my heart, I wanted to thank you for being here at Club Nurse. I hope you gained something valuable from today's episode, and if you did, remember to share this episode with someone that you love. Follow me on socials @NurseDaddies or @ColtonLord17, and be sure to follow nurse.org to stay informed with all of the hottest healthcare topics. Until next Take care of yourself the way you take care of everyone else. Love ya. Bye.