You’re More Than a Nurse—This Life Coach Helps You Reignite Your Purpose (With Tania Epremian)

Welcome to Club Nurse. I'm Colton Lord, your host. By you being here today, it shows me that you are someone who wants to learn, grow, laugh, connect, and just let your emotions flow. We are here to share real stories and hear real life experiences from real people. You are not alone in this, and Club Nurse is here to show you that. Don't forget to follow the show and share today's episode with someone you love. Now let's dive into today's conversation. Hello everybody. Welcome back to Club Nurse. My name is Colton Lord, the host of this podcast. I have a very special guest with me today. Uh, we're going a little bit different. My guest T is not in healthcare, but I think that she can provide us with some really good information. And I think a lot of nurses out there who may be struggling with certain things will really benefit from what T has to do and what T has to offer. So, um, go ahead and introduce yourself and tell us kind of what you do in the world.

Of course. Well, first of all, thank you so much for having me. I'm really excited to have this conversation with you. My name is Tanya, better known in the coaching industry as Coach T. I run a private practice out of Montreal, Canada, coaching individuals across Canada, the US, and Europe when it comes to anything regarding personal or professional development. And the conversations with individuals vary tremendously across the board. The format is virtual. We do everything online, which is great. And the sessions are super powerful. I'm someone who's really driving action and getting people to actually not only know what they need to do, but actually do what they need to do in order to get to where they're trying to get either in their personal life or professional life or any obstacles where they're feeling stuck or struggling with. And I've been doing this for 7 years now. It's been a blast. It's an extremely rewarding job. And I genuinely just love having the front front row seats in, um, people's lives and helping them navigate through challenges and also just keep building on what they've already built in their life.

I love it. That, that, that to me sounds super fulfilling that you get to kind of play that role and that people are coming to you and trusting you with like, hey, like I, I'm having this hurdle, this obstacle. I need your help to kind of, you know, help maybe guide me through this. I know your personal story to an extent of like how you, um, were, you were in corporate, correct? And then you kind of were like pivoted to this role. So talk to me about how that came about. Like at what point were you like, this something's just not working? And how did you pivot out of, out of that role? Or were you, was it something that you were feeling like, um, like dissatisfied or were you satisfied? Like how did, how did that kind of happen for you?

Yeah, of course. So I worked corporate roughly the amount of same time as I'm doing what I do now, at least 7 or 8 years. I worked in the pharmaceutical industry, specifically in advertising. And I wasn't someone who left my job to start this because I hated my job. On the contrary, I Loved working in pharma. It's very creative. It's very high energy, dynamic.

Oh, you worked in pharma? Yeah, you were kind of in like the—

A little bit. Yeah.

Okay.

I have like a little like dotted line towards nurses and all that kind of stuff from like a different lens.

Yeah.

And I mean, I loved it. I love learning about different like therapeutic areas. I love managing people. I love working on campaigns. So I personally left because I was, I was going through the corporate ladder, right? I graduated university over like 15 years ago. I got into the industry and I was loving it. And I was also gunning for like certain roles and certain salaries and lifestyle and all that kind of stuff. And I did that. And then once I got to a certain point in my career, I was like, okay, but there's something missing. And it's hard to describe that, but there was like genuinely a void in my gut and I just felt it.

Mm-hmm.

And I didn't quite know what that puzzle piece was to fill, but I knew my time in pharmaceutical advertising was done. And despite not knowing my next step, I just knew I needed to take a break and walk away. That being said, there was a lot of things in parallel through my corporate career that happened. There was, you know, I struggled heavily with having an eating disorder. My mom had a terminal illness my entire life, and the last couple years were like very challenging. And then her passing away and being the primary caregiver to that. There was a lot of other like family dynamics and just difficult things that people go through in life that just open your eyes and perspective of like, what actually matters in my life and what am I chasing? And there was a shift and I was no longer chasing the corporate ladder and I wanted to chase fulfillment for a lack of better words. And so I just decided that I was going to quit my job without having a fleshed out business plan or knowing everything for my next year or 3-year or 5-year plan. And I said, I'm just going to bet on myself and I'm going to take the time to step away from corporate to think about myself, my personal development. Like, what do I want my next chapter in my life to be? And that's how I stepped out of corporate.

I love that. So kind of like what I'm hearing from you is you just, you had this feeling, you had this kind of just like inner knowing and you didn't have to wait for the perfect, you know, the stars to align because they don't, they never do. There's never, it's like people planning to have kids. Like there's never a perfect time for anything like that.

Like any big, any big move like that.

your life. Um, so what it sounds like is you just kind of trusted that knowing and you, you know, just kind of went for it and you just learn day by day as you go. Um, did you— have you— I posted about this guy yesterday. You have to look at— look him up on Instagram. But have you heard about the guy that, uh, his name's Oliver, who quit his job and is like sailing the world? Have I— have you heard about this?

Yeah.

I'm just gonna give you a little brief. I learned about him yesterday. Like, I listened— do you listen to, um, Lewis Howes?

Yeah.

Podcast. Go listen to this episode he had on. I think it was— I think he posted it yesterday. So this guy, I'm gonna give— I'm gonna give you a very brief overview of this guy and then go listen. His name is Oliver. He's 29. I think 3 years ago he was like having some pain in his back, went to the doctor, was diagnosed with like— basically was told his spine is like that of like a 120-year-old. So just like his mortality, he was like faced with like, oh my God, like I can go paralyzed any day. Like, you know, what's my lifespan, whatever. who kind of went off the rails for like a little while, drinking, partying, whatever, decided he kind of accidentally posted this video. He like recorded it, was not on social media, put it in his drafts on TikTok and accidentally posted it basically saying, I hate my corporate job. I hate what I do. Well, all his bosses saw it. And so he ended up like, he had this just like dream of like, I just want to quit my job. I want to just sail the world. He never had sailed before, quits his job, buys a sailboat, learns how to sail. And he just sailed from Oregon to Hawaii in a little tiny sailboat with his cat. Phoenix. In this process, somebody was like, you should document this, record it. And so he was, and he like started posting it, went immediately viral. Like he has so many like followers, like everybody's like watching him. Like he has like little wifi out in the ocean to record what he's doing. It is insane. And so he talks about this, like just this feeling like it took him getting this diagnosis, which I want people to understand, like you don't need to wait for that to like open your eyes. I understand that like when people have these big moments, that is kind of what opens people's eyes, but He's just like, I just had this knowing, like, I didn't want to just like work this corporate, buy the house, have the fence, have the family, like, and he, he just like went for it. He like liquidated his like 401 and just like went for it. And it, it is insane. Like now he's just like taking off. He's on all these, like he's on these podcasts. When he got to Hawaii, like people were like waiting for him because they knew he was coming. Like, it's crazy. So go check him out. Go listen. That, that's your homework to go listen to that episode.

I am 100% gonna listen to that because I love hearing stories like that. And typically, you're right, it's someone in their family getting diagnosed with something, or someone passing away, or something uber tragic where it like whiplashes people into reality. And what I keep telling people is don't wait until the doctor diagnoses you, or someone, someone dies in your family, or something drastic happens, right? Because we hear that all the time. 40 or 44-year-old had a heart attack, 32-year-old diagnosed with cancer. It's like, Are we really gonna wait for something that bad to happen to take action on our own lives? If you know right now there's like a feeling internally that you're already not at the right place. And that said, I always throughout the entire journey of making this like drastic decision reminded myself of what Gary Vaynerchuk says all the time. Corporate is always gonna fucking be there.

Always.

Yeah. Pharma is going nowhere. So if I decide in 2 years that this is no longer serving me, or that if this never worked out to what I thought it was, I can go right back to where I started. Right.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's never, it's just like, it's just knowing. And then, right. And if you do end up going back, you at least know inside, you know what, I tried, I, I gave it a shot. I realized it actually wasn't what I wanted. I was good with this life in corporate and just living my life kind of, um, you know, not having to like chase these big, big dreams, like, and it's okay, but you know, you tried. So kind of explain to me before we kind of jump into like what I had for the idea of this episode, explain to me what, like, what's the difference between like a life coach and going to like a therapist?

That's a great question because a lot of people will come and go, I've just done a whole lot of therapy and now I need coaching. And I'm like, great. So there are certain things that I'll tell you the similarities so you can place yourself if whoever's listening has gone to therapy. It's the same in the sense that it's weekly, it's an hour, whether it's like virtual or in person. So that setting is the same. It's a safe space. Everything stays within the 4 walls of us connecting. There is a confidentiality agreement where I don't share any information about my clients. Clients can share as much as they, they want or please to. It's different from the point of view that therapy works backwards. So they meet with you where you are today and they reverse engineer their therapy sessions based on what's happened from, let's say, the 40-year-old they're talking to, to zero, from zero to 40.

Mm-hmm.

Versus people who are coming for coaching are like, hi, this is where I'm at in my life. and we're coaching them forward. So it's very pragmatic. It's very action-oriented. We do talk about feelings. We do talk about the reality of what's going on, but from a point of view of like giving them the tools that they need to move in this direction and less of the unpacking of where all of this comes from. That said, the lines do get blurred on certain topics depending on what people are coming from, because as much as you're moving forward, your past is always within you. So there are little things that come up. But I would say the biggest difference is that we're driving forward and therapy is reverse engineered.

Okay. So I think, yeah, so I think having, uh, kind of both, I feel like is very beneficial. Cause I think there's, I think there's great benefit in kind of going back and figuring out why you do the things you do, why you react the way you do, why these things are coming up and kind of pinpointing those, healing them the best you can. And then, um, and then taking this approach of like coaching and being like, how can I now move forward with my life? with a better point of view and how can I actually like put into action these things that, that I want in my life? Is that correct?

Like, you nailed it. And there are a ton of clients that I work with and currently work with who do both. They'll do therapy and they'll say it's very different. Coaching with you is so different than therapy. And there's other people who did therapy for a really long time and now they just do coaching. So they like— our worlds are complementary. We're not competing at all. Coaching is totally different. But I'd say The best word is complementary to each other.

Okay, gotcha. What are you— when people are first coming to you, what are you noticing are like the biggest barriers that people have to like making, taking that next step? Or like they have this goal in mind, they have this dream, something's on their heart. Like what are you seeing as like their, their biggest barriers? Is it like fear of failing? Is it scarcity of money? Is it like so many different things? Or are there a couple things you can like really pinpoint with people?

It's really different with different people. I'd say the underlying one is fear. So whether it's fear of the unknown, Fear of like, what if this doesn't work out? Fear of people fear success and are they capable to like maintain that fear? What people are gonna think, what people are saying. But I would say the underlying thing is is fear.

Is fear. Yeah. And I think that it's um it's so much easier to like say this than to like put things into action because you're like, yeah, you know, like the fear is going to be there. Go do it. You know, whatever. But I think um I've never actually had like a coach, but I can imagine. That for like for me personally, when I think back to times where like I've had this fear or like I've kind of like stepped back because I'm afraid of whatever, like if you have that person just like a therapist, like when you're taking a couple steps back, when you meet again to just have that reminder of like hey, it's okay, like this is normal, what you're going through is normal, these feelings are going to keep happening, um, just keep going, like take the next step, like it's not going to change overnight. I imagine that's where people get these big breakthroughs. Um, and do you do you witness that? Like do you see people find it's like that aha moment of like oh my God, like they did have that like breakthrough? That's got to be so satisfying.

It's like somebody as a coach watching It's like, it's so satisfying because what I tell people is like, I'm not only on the front line, I am like on the field with you, right? When we do things, we do things together. And I pride myself in really becoming like tight with my clients. And so it's very gratifying to see them hit a breakthrough or achieve something they've been wanting to, or whether it's micro or on a macro level. And even after people have worked with me, like when I get an email from previous clients going, hey, I just wanted to give you an update. Like, this happened and that, and if it wasn't for your support and your accountability— and I'm just like, like, there's no money in the world that takes that. Like, and you know what I mean? And I don't take credit for all of it because I always tell my clients, like, you're doing the work and, like, we do it together. But, but being part of that, it's so, so gratifying.

Yeah, yeah. I, I can, I can only imagine that. Yeah, that feeling of just, like, being a part of How long are, like, on average, like, does this also vary? Like, how long are people typically needing, like, coaching? Because when I think about the therapist, like, I, I feel it's, you know, it's good to, you know, for like right now, like, I'm going to weekly therapy. I feel like there's gonna be at some point in my life to where, like, hopefully I don't need that every week. And I kind of just like have that therapist like, hey, like, I'm going through a crisis or something came up. Like, can we schedule something? Is that how coaching works? Or is it just like you have them on like a program? Let's go 6 months. Or how does that work?

So I don't force anyone to go for like 6 months or 3 months. It really is on a weekly basis. And the life cycle really depends on the individual. I'll be honest in saying most people will come with one thing. And then once we've worked through that, life is happening while we're coaching. And so they'll bring in another topic and we'll go from personal to professional to this to that, like, and we'll just evolve. So my relationships with my clientele, like the retention rate is really high. It's not like I just work with people for a couple months and they're gone. That, that wouldn't be the average life cycle. It's like, I've had clients I've been working with for like over 5 years.

Oh wow.

And we've addressed like a ton of stuff. But I'd say it's more on the years than, than months. Is there people who will reach out and just there's one specific thing they just want to work on and we just work on that and, and hyperfocus on it for a little bit and then they're off and they go? 100%. But it's not the average. The average is more kind of like therapy where it's a It's an investment where you also get used to having a person, right? Like a lot of clients will give that feedback of like, can I do it without you at this point? Because I've been working for so long.

Yeah.

There's a sense of like, I'm unbiased. I'm not your husband. I'm not your wife. I'm not like your mother. I'm not the neighbor. Like I have no bias. I'm on your team, but I will tell you what it is, right? Like I'm very transparent in that way. People really appreciate that. So it's, it's a safe space to know every Friday at noon, like it's real talk. We're working on this and I can bring, Anything up, right?

Yeah. Yeah. I love what you said made me think about, uh, like when I first went to therapy, I went to therapy with a goal in mind. Like there was something that was happening I wanted to address. And like the second, like literally like my first session I had, like, cause I wanted to go to kind of unpack my childhood. That was like the original reason I went, um, kind of heal that like inner child and do that inner child work. But then like I had a major crisis happen literally like right before my first episode. And that's pretty much been the focus of most of my therapy for now for like 6 or 7 months. Of course I've like thrown in some things about my childhood and we've talked about it, but it's just, yeah, it's funny. Like you, you go for a goal or, you know, you have a goal in mind and then things just start. You just, once you start talking, you, you will amaze yourself at how much like you're keeping inside. Um, I even had this yesterday. Like I, I saw my therapist yesterday and I was like, I was like, I'm so angry. Like, I feel so angry. And like, as soon as I just like started talking to her about it, I was like, oh my God. Like I felt so much better. And I feel like, again, like it's similar to this, this coaching that you're saying, like you have these things, like maybe People have never even said out loud, like, oh, like I have this dream on my heart because they don't, they feel people will judge them or people will be like, that's, you know, that's not realistic or all these fears. And I just imagine like having like how empowering that feels to just finally just like say it and have somebody look at you and not be like, you know, like you're crazy. Like you can do this. You can take those steps. I love what you're doing. I love your platform. I wanted to kind of take this time to kind of go through like a little session of like what it would look like if, if I came to you, um, this platform. The podcast is called Club Nurse, so it's a pretty new podcast. So I'm pretty— I am imagining that a lot of the audience is gonna be in healthcare and nurses. And, um, I don't know exactly like what your extent of, uh, experiences is with like nursing, but the, the big thing in nursing is a lot of burnout, a lot of, you know, um, maybe wanting to like switch directions, but being afraid to do that. 'Cause as nurses, we've invested so much time. And energy into this career. And it's almost, I, I say this a lot, like it's really almost cult-like. Like once you get into being a nurse, it's like, how the hell do I get out of this if I want out? So would you be down to kind of like go through like what you like, little tools or like what you would say if I was coming to you?

Yeah, 100%. Do you want me to like unpack like from beginning of how I would handle a situation like that?

Yeah. Yeah. So say I came to you and I'm like, hey T, I'm a nurse. I've been a nurse for Let's just say, let's say I'm at a 4-year mark of being a nurse. I'm feeling, I, I was really excited when I first started. Um, I worked through the pandemic. I'm just feeling like really burnt out. Um, not finding as much joy as I used to. It's not what I thought it would be. I'm really wanting to kind of change directions. Like what? Like, so then how would you start from there?

So I would like take that and I would consider that just like an initial conversation. I always do a full deep dive consultation session with anyone that I work with in order to really understand also like Where are people coming from? First of all, so like what is your past? Give me like the four one one on that, and then tell me what you just told me, which is your current reality today of why you're reaching out for coaching. But I also like to get to know people from like a character and personality. Are you like a morning person? Are you a night person? Are you intro? Are you extro? Are you like routine oriented? Do you own the day? Does the day own you? Like really understanding the perfect person, really even outside because it gives me perspective of like what's important to them, what's not so important, what's a priority, and like how do they manage their in life, you know, a lot of people are overwhelmed or a lot of people struggling prioritizing time, right? So I do a full deep dive in that besides the main thing they come for me for. And then we'll dive into exactly what you said. Like, this is why I'm coming. This is what I'm struggling with. And I'll get really curious as to how long have you been feeling this way? What are you doing about it? Like what works, what doesn't work? And then what are you looking for? And some people will say, well, I'm really looking for this, this, this. And it's really clear and other people are like, I have no idea. I just feel overwhelmed, burnt out. I've been doing this for years. It's no longer serving me. I don't know if I should stay and just like ride the wave till the end of time or should I make a switch? Then I go, what's getting in your way? Is it fear of what people are going to think? Is it financial? Which by the way is a big reason why people will not quit their jobs. And I always tell people, right? They'll ask me about my story and they'll go like, was that an issue? I said 100%. Like what people don't see is like, yeah, I quit a corporate job that was paying me 6 figures. Sure, but I still had a mortgage to pay and car payments and this and that. But I went to work 3 jobs behind the scenes while I was building a business, right? Like, people don't see that side of it.

Yeah.

So finance is a big thing that comes up of why people— then there's like, if you're in a family dynamics, like the husband, the wife, the kids, like, what are they gonna say about it? It's a lot easier to stay where you are and just suck it up, buttercup, versus starting something new. So really untangling for them, like, what is the fear? Is it a financial fear? Is it fear that you're gonna And then like building a roadmap. So what I tell people is like, I get in the car with you and we build a roadmap as to what are the next steps based on, do you really want to get out of that career or do you want to stay in the career and just pivot and set some boundaries or do it part-time or like weighing out all the options. So part of the initial conversations is like, what's the problem? What are the barriers? What are the fears? What's holding you back? And I'm not here to tell you what direction to go. Right. Like I never tell people you should quit. do this or that. But I go, let's just look at the options and then compare that to what's important to you right now, not what was important to you 4 years ago when you started that career, right?

Right.

And where do you see yourself going in the future as well? And having these conversations, and when people actually get out of their head and talk, a lot comes to reality because they're like, oh, I didn't realize that was a sticking point, or I didn't— do you know what I mean? So then we can really send them reflection questions. So I'm really big on sending homework after every session. So yes, the session is an hour and it's powerful, but I'm not with you the other 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. So I'll always send a recap email to clients going, hey, this is what we touched. This is what I need you to reflect on or work on. Right. And that's custom to the conversation. And then they'll digest that all week and come back and be like, okay, T, this, this, this, this, this came up. And we kind of build on that. Does that make sense?

Yes. And that's a few things came to mind on these things that you're saying. Uh, first of all, I love how you send a recap because I, as soon as you said that, I was like, okay, if my therapist would just send me a recap, like, Please, because everyone says—

every person who goes to therapy goes, why doesn't the therapist send a recap? I'm like, because they're a therapist.

Yeah, yeah, I know. I don't mean to keep comparing you to a therapist. It's just— I just— that's the only thing I can compare to in my mind because I've never gone coaching. But how helpful is that to— because you leave and you're like, oh, I feel so much better. Then the next morning you're like, wait, what did we talk about? What did they say? You know, like, that's super, super helpful that you do that. Um, and then Yeah, I love how going back you help them to identify the— because I think people, I think people, people know, like, you know, these things. They just, they need somebody as like you as a coach to be like, to get it out of them. Like, what are, what are the barriers? Why am I feeling this way? And kind of going back to talking about Oliver, the, the guy who's sailing around the world, it's like, great for him. You know, he didn't, doesn't have— wasn't married, didn't have kids, um, as far as I know, not from what I've seen, um, didn't have these things that were holding him back. And it's like the, you know, people have these real things that it's like, I can't, I have a family of 4. I can't just like go quit my job and like chase this dream. Like that's not always realistic. Like they need, um, you know, like you're saying, like, how can we, you know, maybe work a couple part-time jobs and, and do that as well and make it just like very personal to each person. Um, cuz we all have our own, our own things, but not allowing the fact that you have 4 kids to, you know, not allow you to live the life that you are wanting to live. Like, how can we make this realistic for you? Yeah. And then the other thing that I wanted to touch on was I love how you said, you know, like what's different from 4 years ago to now, like the evolution of who you are, because it's so different. I think that's, I think a big thing for nurses because, you know, you go, you go to nursing school and they, they basically like put this roadmap in front of you or what, of what you're going to do. Like you're going to graduate nursing school, you're going to go get a job. And then, you know, like, guess you can like maybe bounce around a little bit, try different specialties, but like, this is what you're going to do. You're going to be a nurse. You know, you see the nurses that are retiring, like, and it's It's, it's like, okay. But then maybe in a couple of years, like you realize like, okay, like this isn't actually what I want to do with my entire life. And I, I have gotten to that point. I think a lot of nurses, because of why we get into the field, because of the nature of the work, it's a lot of guilt. Like you really feel like, oh my God, like if I step away from this, if this isn't like what I do, like what— that ties a lot into like my, the identity that I've made for myself in the last 4 years. Even longer because of nursing school. Like say again, if you were a nurse for 4 years, the schooling, if you went to university, it was 4 years. Like the last 8 years you've been building this identity of who you are. And then imagine even if you've been a nurse longer, like 10 years, like that just keeps, that's so embedded in who you are that I can see why like people are so afraid to be like, you know, like this isn't working for me. You feel crazy. The thing is, is everyone else is probably not everyone, but a lot of people are feeling that way. They're just not going to say it.

Right? And a lot of people are waiting for a permission slip. So that's something that I've heard over the years of coaching where like, I'm giving them a permission slip. I'm like, I'm not giving you nothing. I'm like, you talking it out, you're going to give yourself the permission slip to choose to do something different that's no longer serving you. Because you're right, you're not exactly who you were 4 years ago. And you're also allowed to change your mind, which I think a lot of people feel like I shouldn't. That's what I decided. That's what I need to do forever. That's what I've told people. I've been told by like C-suite level executives and companies that they don't want to change their job because they're worried that when they get on LinkedIn and they change their job title, that people are going to wonder. Like, that's insane to me.

Crazy. Like, you're living your life based on that.

I'm like, you're a C-suite individual, you're burnt out, and you're not going to change your career because you're worried what 1,000 people on LinkedIn are going to say when you go from CEO to something else. And I don't blame the guys, right? I really don't. But that's how much of a reality it is. And there's from that all the way down and in the middle. There's a lot of people who are stuck with like, what are people going to think? What are they going to say? Is it going to work out? Am I allowed to change my mind? And the answer is like, for me, it's at what cost are you going to keep doing what you're doing knowing damn well that it's no longer serving you, right?

Right.

Can I run through burnout after burnout working corporate world? 110%, I can. So can you. And you can work 12-hour shifts and you can keep grinding and grinding, but who are you doing And why are you doing it?

Right. And those are the huge questions. And I think going to like this, the C-suite executives, it's like they, and a lot of us do this and it's not, not to feel bad about yourself. Like this is very common. Like we, we tie, we tie so much worth, our worth to these titles and these things that we're doing. And so when you've, when you've embedded so much of your identity or your worth into this, like, of course, like you're going to feel this terrible sense of self when you're like trying to maybe unravel that. Because like, that's where your identity lies. Like, that's where you feel people are, you're getting your worth because people see that you're, you're, uh, and I see this a lot in critical care nurses specifically, because it's like, once you are like an ICU or an ER nurse, it's like this, like, it's so annoying. It's an ego thing because it's like, oh, you're so cool. Like, you know, I can go and like, people always like, oh, like, what's the, you know, what's the craziest thing that you've seen in the ER? And it's like, that's once you, people are constantly asking you that, you're like, oh, that's what people want to know about me. Like, Hello, I can't just like leave this, this job. Like, I won't be cool anymore. Nobody will want to ask me questions if I'm like, you know, telling them that I, I don't know, like took the leap and did something else, you know, like, and so I think that's, that's probably a big thing you see is just like the people tying their, their worth into, into this, this identity of their title.

And like, you see that with a lot of people who struggle with like self-worth and confidence and who they are. So a lot of the work that I also do with certain individuals is really like like doing the groundwork of really redefining like, who are you? And people are like, that's a really tough question. I'm like, good. But if you can't answer who you are, like, we have a problem, right? If you want to build a house, you need to pour the foundation. So like, who am I today? Not who was I 10 years ago, right? And like, what's important to me and what matters? And like, how strong is my self-worth? A lot of people will say it's like, I always do a scale of like, on a scale of 1 to 10, a lot of people, my self-worth is like 4 and my confidence is 4 and this Whatever, like it's really low, and it's like why is that? And then other people, like you said, attach who they are like to what they do, right? So they identify Tanya is a coach, and that's what she is. The CEO client I was giving you an example attaches himself as the as that, not as a father, not as a golfer, not as someone who likes to travel, like at all. All they do is they see themselves for what they do professionally, and then it's like.

Yeah. And that's the issue is like, if that is stripped away, like, and, and if that's the thing that people don't realize is those titles are, you're vulnerable to losing that at any point, like to, you know, the economy going crazy and you lose your job or just like, you know, what if something happens and you are physically unable to be a nurse now at the bedside? And like, it's like you lose that and it's like, oh, like it's, and it's not, again, it's not to fault anyone. Like we all have been born into the system that like makes you think that that's where you're lies. Like, what's the— when you get to— when I remember, like, as early as, like, junior high school being asked, like, what do you want to do? And it's like, what? Like, I don't even— I have no idea. I can't even drive a car. Like, you know, it's just— it's insane to me to think back. And, like, I, I've had these experiences with, you know, people, you know, I don't have kids, so I am, like, 0% trying to tell anybody how to raise a child. A specific example of somebody who had a child who was graduating high school, the kid did not want to go to college, but the mom was like, you have to go to college. Like, you need to do this. Like, you know, you have no other plan. And I kept telling her, I'm like, no, just let him. Like, let him go work at the coffee shop for a year or two because like you don't understand how much they're going to gain of just like themselves versus like going to just— if they don't want to go to college, like they're not going to get anything out of it. They're going to spend all this money. And it's like, but that's the system we're born into. And it's again, not to fault the mother. Like, that's like what she's been told. Like, you have to do this. Like, this is how you are going to make money. And it's like, no, like there's— it's just, it's not that way. But like, yes, we get to that point where like we have to do XYZ. We're following the map that we've been given. Um, and so I just, yeah, I love that you are able to kind of spin the perspective for people to like see it a little bit differently. So yeah. So if I came to you again as this nurse and I'm just like, okay, like I'm really, I'm just really burnt out. I just have this feeling I'm not satisfied. I'm lacking a lot of joy. Like my job is just not doing it for me anymore, but I maybe I'm not at the point to where like, I don't really have this like dream to chase. Like, but like, how do I combat this? burnout that I'm feeling while keeping this job that I have? Like, where would you start with somebody?

I would start with like, where are you spending your time? And where are you spending your energy? So if I were to open up like your iPhone calendar, or however you track what you're doing in life, where's your time and energy going? And so if we see that you're working 60-hour workweeks, great. And there's nothing else, everything else is chores or responsibilities or to-do lists, I'd go, well, you want joy, but where's the joy in your week? Right? Because joy as adults— as kids, everything is joyful. Like your mom's like, we're gonna go to the grocery store. You're like, yeah, do you know Yeah. As an adult, you have to intentionally like take action and inject joy if that's the feeling that you're describing. If you're feeling overwhelmed, I would look at your calendar and go, why are you feeling overwhelmed? And yeah, it totally makes sense. You're working 12-hour shifts nonstop. You don't get any me time. You don't unplug. You don't do— okay, great. So reworking their current reality. So if they're saying, I'm gonna stay in this for financial reasons, great. But how can we retweak your hours and your time and energy spent To support you better. If you've— if you're someone who used to go to the gym and you haven't gone in weeks, it's like, hey, how do we re-inject that in microdosing it in your calendar in order to give you that space for yourself? Right. So assessing the current situation, just stepping back and going, how is he or she spending their time? And is that actually serving you or not serving you?

Okay. Yeah. Okay. So it's like a reprioritizing of what you're already doing of like, yes, finding those, those Like you said, like, oh, you're working 60-hour weeks, like, hello, no wonder you're burnt out. Sure, your bank account might look nice, but if you're feeling terrible, then what's— then what's the point?

And then it goes, let's match it to his priorities or her priorities. So like, if money is super important, then you may have to suck it up and work that many hours and be okay with the fact that you have less me time, or that you have less time to inject things that make you happy and whatever. But you have to match The current reality to the person's priorities and what matters to them. And again, I'm not here to tell you that money should be the first thing, that your health should be the first thing. Like, do you know what I mean? You got to tell me what's a priority, and then we need to go, is this reality that you're living matching your actual priorities? And also, how are you feeling? Because if you feel like hot shit all the time, maybe this is not what we should be doing, right?

Yeah. So you're not— so you're not there to like change somebody's mind. Like if they— if I came to you and I was like, look, T, like all I care about is making as much money as I can. I don't care if I am gaining weight, if my health is terrible. Like I just need to make all this money. Like you're not there to be like, oh, try to like change their mind. You're— but I feel like my— what my gut tells me is if somebody comes to you and tells you this through the coaching, like they may end up reprioritizing this themselves when they realize like I've just been— again, I've just been like fed this this lie that like I have to have X amount of money or I need to like— this is again, I feel like this, a lot of this goes back to, I feel like, worth. And I almost am tying this to like myself. Like you think like I, my worth and like what people think of me, it's like tied to like how much money I'm making. Like I, that's how I'm like feeling like I'm doing the right thing versus if you're making all this money but feeling terrible again, what's the point?

And it depends from like one client to another, right? Like I personally have struggled my whole life with like performance anxiety because I was raised in an environment, but like by what you do matches your self-worth. So that narrative is what I worked through therapy for years of like, you are not what you do. What comes in from like your paycheck does not define your worth. A lot of people have that issue and then other people don't. But to go back to your example, like I've had the client who goes, yeah, I work like 80 hours a week and I plan on working like 90 because my priority is career and I'm gunning for it. I'm never going to tell that person Well, like, you should tone it. Like, no, if that's what you want, by all means, full throttle, like, go for it. But, you know, I'll be like, maybe we should consider, like, your health because you're fine today. And if you're not fine 2 weeks from now, how are you getting to that? Maybe we should prioritize this, this, this for consideration. And then most of the time people see where I'm coming from and they're like, okay, great. But I'm not prescribing you what you should or shouldn't do.

Yeah. Yeah. It seems, it really seems to me like it's, it's, it's a lot of, uh, just like, it's, it's like getting people to just like give themselves the answers. Like we come as people, like we, it's like we said earlier, we deep inside know, um, like maybe subconsciously we know what we need. Like why else would somebody be coming to you if like they didn't have this like sense of like something's off or like there's, I know something's in there. It's just like getting that out of you. Like, and it's like, again, it's like when you start talking about it to like Yeah. I think it's very important on who you're talking about this information to, because if you're talking to someone that you consider like a best friend and maybe they don't have the best insight or like, you know, they're steering you in a certain direction, I feel like it's important where you're getting that energy from. And I feel like having a coach that just has that unbiased outlook on your life can just give you like a different perspective and just something little that you say to them, like maybe you should be thinking about your health or You know, if you— great, if you're working 90-hour weeks, but then you die next week of a heart attack, what's the point of your 90-hour weeks? It just gives them like the, that again, permission to maybe think about it and be like, oh, maybe, maybe I can cut it back a little bit and not have to like work so much to like feel, you know, it's like a, it is an addiction. I mean, work addiction, right?

Yeah. And I often also share, like, I'm a big like podcast junkie. So if there are certain topics of podcasts that like I listen to, that resonate with what we're working with, with clients. I'll be like, here, like, if you have time this week while you're driving in traffic to work or drop off or whatever you're doing, like, pop this in and listen to it. I do the same thing with people who tell me, like, do you have book recommendations on what we talk about? And I'll be like, yeah, like, I have a slew of them I would recommend. Like, read the backs of these and let me know. And then we'll just— we'll even discuss the podcast episode, right? And we'll discuss—

It's helpful.

The chapter that they're reading because it's helpful because we're, we're applying it, right? And so So what's nice is with coaching one-on-one is it's customized to you. I can have the same avatar client, like 3 people are the same thing, but they're not because they're built differently and they think differently and they have different perspectives. So it's nice to pair like what I'm saying, what they're feeling, a book, a podcast, an article, and like, you know, leverage all the tools. And then the client at the end of the day will, they know, like if you reached out and you wrote me an email and said, Hey, are you taking new clients? My first thing is, what made you write that email, right? Or if I get the notification through my website, I go, what prompted you to go on my website? Do you know what I mean? Like, there's obviously— you don't just randomly fall into coaching. You don't just randomly end up at the therapist's office, as you know, right?

Yeah. All right, is there any, any parting words? Um, how can people find you? What, uh, as far as like your, uh, on socials or your— by the way, I love Love T's socials. If you need just like your daily, just like, just positivity and just light, your social media is amazing for that. But yeah, how do people find you? How do people find your services? How can we find you?

So you can find me, I'm really present on Instagram. So it's Coach T MTL on Insta. And you can see me having dance parties in my kitchen to dropping like real talk to meal prepping and being at rugby practice or throwing some weights around at CrossFit. So it's really lifestyle. But I'd say that's the main place. And then to contact me if you're interested, of course on my website, which you can access through Instagram. Everything is basically coachtmtl.com. So they can reach out there and just shoot me, shoot me an email, click the form to have a free discovery call. That's a service that I offer to anyone internationally, right? I'm able to jump on your time zone, 20 minutes for free. What's going on? See if we're a good fit. That's really important for me. I won't just take anyone on. I really have to like, who are you? Can I help you? Do you fall into my wheelhouse? And if you do, I'm happy to jump on board if you're ready and support you. So I encourage people to like even just leverage that as like an initial conversation if you're interested.

Love it. MTL, is that— does MTL stand for Montreal?

It does. And the reason I did that was because just Coach T was not available anywhere back in the day. And I was like, all right, we're gonna put an MTL to it and people will just know I'm based here. But I coach all over the world.

Yeah. Yeah. I, I literally just put that together. Like when you said MTL, I was like, wait, I think that's Montreal. That, that's great. Well, thank you so much for just giving us your, your perspective, your wisdom, um, just being a light in the world. Like I really, really, I've told you this so many times, like I just appreciate the work that you do. Um, even, even for me just to like, you know, if I'm scrolling on social media, I always am like, oh, I have to see like what, what's the story today? Like what's, what's going on? I love the gratitude dumps. I love, I just love it all. Like you're just, you're just a light. So thank you. Thank you for this. I appreciate it.

You're so welcome. And thank you for having me. Like, honestly, I tell people it's an honor to sit in their lives and coach them, but even opportunities like this, I'm really grateful for them. So thanks for the conversation. It's been so fun.

Of course. And we'll have you on again.

Okay. Okay.

From the bottom of my heart, I wanted to thank you for being here at Club Nurse. I hope you gained something valuable from today's episode. And if you did, remember to share this episode with someone that you love. Follow me on socials @NurseDaddies or @ColtonLord17, and be sure to follow nurse.org to stay informed with all of the hottest healthcare topics. Until next time, take care of yourself the way you take care of everyone else. Love ya, bye!