171: Discovering Your Divine Assignment with Melissa Hughes (while Building with Grace and Ease)

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The journey that a lot of people have to take in monetizing their divine assignment or their sole purpose is you have to have the mindset. You have to know it's possible. You have to be able to understand the abundance that you have available to you. When you want to be in full alignment with who you are and your creator. I say like from the manufacturer. We come with our sole purpose, our bodies and our intuition. As our buddy along the way. It's like it's part of the wrapping. When you take us out the wrapper, this is what we get.

This is your time. How can we earn twice as much in half the time with joy and ease while serving the highest good? That is our guiding question here at the Freetime Cafe, your home for heart based business. I'm your host Jenny Blake. Join me for conversations with authors, friends and fellow business owners as we explore ways to free your mind, time and team to do your best work. Now onto today's show.

Welcome back free timers. You are in for a treat today with our guest Melissa Hughes. Melissa is the founder of Live Rich Spread Wealth, a business and movement that's all about helping people live richer lives as a result of becoming their best selves. She's a best selling author, speaker and master business coach that became a self made millionaire by the age of 31. Melissa is also known as the guru of implementation. You can see why I just had to have her on the show. Her success and that of her clients is a result of her practical proven systems for business and life successful and I might add her mantra of doing things with grace and ease. Melissa, welcome to the show.

Hi Jenny. I'm so happy to be here with you today.

I am so happy to be here with you too. And you are just a woman after my own heart because in listening to you on other shows I have heard you say things like systems are sexy, which I love and of course systems can break. But also talking about people's divine assignment and helping people understand the highest level they can serve. So I just love that you're marrying these two things like the guru of implementation and intuition.

Oh, absolutely. Isn't that a magical combination?

Yes, yes. Have you always had this sense of intuition and spirituality embedded in your business building practices or did that come later on in your entrepreneurial journey?

I will have to say it was always a seed that was planted inside of me and then I was able to take responsibility in nurturing it later on in life. So I will just let you know that the highest influencers in my life were my grandparents. My grandfather was the first businessman I ever met and my grandmother was the most spiritual person I've ever met in my life. I've always seen her so dynamic in action of just always. She's old school, so she's like, I trust God and she prays all the time and but she puts like God, I know that you can do anything and I'm asking you to do this now. You know, she had such an authority with her relationship with God. And so I grew up Christian. My parents made sure I went to church all the time. I would have to say that it was when I was older that I developed my own personal relationship which was not necessarily being in the church, just really being able to have my own intimate relationship with God and also pursuing what it looked like to be in conversation all the time. And that's where I attribute my intuition. Finally being way more obedient to that little voice and the little knowing and trusting it and being able to be guided by it. I would say earlier on in my career I was very much in my head, very smart, very corporate. Like I don't know if I had a lot of feelings when I was younger, I didn't know that. But what I did know is that I leaned on my brain and my know how. And as I went into entrepreneurship, woo. That's where one plus one did not always equal two. And that's where I had to be revisited and reacquainted with what that looked like to have that personal journey and increasing in that relationship. And that's really where I have to attribute leaving corporate and going into the entrepreneurial ranks. If it wasn't for my intuition and more importantly me listening to it, then I wouldn't be here with you today, Jenny. So that's what I would have to say.

Well, that's a journey so many of us have been on of going to corporate because we think that's what you should do or it just seems like the next logical step. And in your bio, I know it says self made millionaire by 31. Was that from the Spa business that you started?

Yes, it was a spa business and it had a membership tied to it. So that was a little different.

Alma, tell us more.

I had this idea, like men always had, like the. Well, for the most part back then, mostly men went to the golf courses. I'm not saying it's not like that now, but the golf club or the old boys club, those are in full effect. And it's like, well, where do the ladies go? Like, where do we go when there is the Rose bowl or the Super Bowl? What can we do to celebrate in our own way? How can we pamper ourselves? How can we bring women together and just celebrate. Celebrate each other? And also where do we go to just let our hair down and recharge? And so the membership was created to support women in being able to carve out time consistently. You know, when they joined as a member, they get their own robe with their monogram on it, their own shoes. They had a 500 credit to give to like, oh, my mom's coming into town, she's coming to the spa. Take care of her. So it was just really building relationships, I believe, and in the spirit of self care and really making sure that they carved out time for their. Their own rejuvenation. And they could party with us too, because at the spa parties, we'd have the wine and the cheese, we'd have the pet manicures and pedicures, and there are great souls, you know. More importantly, I believe that the spa experience allowed me to create a safe place for phenomenal women to get together and just let their hair down and really be in like fellowship while they pampered themselves.

I love hearing all these bells and whistles. Like, even their own robe with a monogram. So creative.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

And I love what you're saying too, because that is a through line. It sounds like of your journey is the soul, the spirit of a person and being in community and helping these women reconnect with their true selves, you know, outside of the chaos of day to day life.

Yeah, I mean, I feel like that's what they told me. I was just being myself. Right. But that's, I guess, one of the superpowers. I mean, I could definitely say I clearly do see souls more than I see the outwards of people. I see the in. And even from a young age, I was like, oh, I always knew someone was someone's child. Like, that's someone's brother, that's someone's sister, that's someone's child. And I always Looked at people that way. And even in corporate, I always came in with that disposition. Having my own business, I'm so thankful that I could still be unapologetic about what I see. When I see people, I understand the connections. I understand what can impact them from the past that they either need to reconcile to allow them to fly like they want to in the future, or could allow them to truly embrace it and understand that it wasn't a tragedy to keep them down. It was a transformative experience that allowed them to rise and be stronger than ever before. It just has worked really well for me and also for the people that.

I serve with the spa business, brick and mortar, and having a team and a staff is not for the faint of heart. I think now you've shifted.

Oh, totally.

No longer have a brick and mortar business, but at that time, that's so complex. So tell us a little bit of just how long you ran the spa business and how did you know? What was that intuitive whisper or shout that it was time to shift out of that? And how did you exit? Did you just close it down? Did you sell it? Just be so curious to know your journey with that type of business building.

Oh, that was definitely a journey and really was an input to how I created another business. And this business that I have now that I've had for about 20 years or so, when I did the spa, I actually was moving into a new state. When I was moving, part of the draw was that there was going to be a spa. I was like, oh, sign me up. I had already envisioned myself there after work and things of that nature. But then as I moved in, they were like, oh, they pulled out, and I was like, oh, we still have to have a spa. So I took the initiative to step up and build the spa from scratch. I picked the building, bought the building, worked with the architects. All that was a great experience. And the whole thing was to really serve people in that way. Yes. I remembered when I was first of all, spa has a lot of towels.

A lot of laundry. You're really running a laundromat.

Oh, yeah, totally. So. But when I first started it, I didn't get the laundromat into the building yet. I was doing it. And actually, in my spa, I did everything except provide services. So I was the housekeeper, I was the supervisor. I was all the things. I just remembered washing these towels all night long. I was tired and sometimes exhausted, but I felt so good because I'd left corporate America, and I knew that this effort, my effort would Be a direct result of what I see as far as the productivity in my business that it would rise and fall with me. It was a big responsibility, but it really charged me and just to know that I was here to support people and making a difference. At the spa. We were in a really for the most part a wealthy neighborhood. It was great to be able to come alongside women that were maybe dealing with cancer or. Or dealing with things that we everyday people deal with ups and downs in life and to really have that safe place for them. So I did need team. I hire team. And it was interesting because I initially didn't know how to hire team. So I learned it. I'm a thorough learner. I will tell your listeners I'm outing myself. I'm totally a thorough learner in that I wanted to hire people to give them a chance. And I was really. No, really great clear boundaries when I first started hiring. And then I learned really fast and I had to rehire. But I had a clarity as to who needed to be there and who can serve my clients in the best way. Like, let's not have them waiting for an hour to get services, ladies. Like we are really more about them than us. I had to create that culture and I did that site. I did learn that part. Then I actually would work myself out of jobs. So the first job I worked myself out of was bringing the laundromat and everything to the spa. Then I worked myself out of all the cleaning. Then I worked myself out of the receptionist role and then I worked myself out of the supervisor role until I was no longer had a presence in the spa.

And real quick, was any piece of that psychologically challenging? Like, but I can't let go of this or if I let go of that, it's going to fall apart. Because not all business owners have an easy time working themselves out of every one of their jobs.

Well, I guess I may be like, I don't know if I'm lazy or what, but I was very goal oriented and I was like, it allowed me to motivate myself because I'd say, okay, like who wants to do laundry all the time if you don't have to? So that's. I can delegate. Sure.

That's a good one to get rid of.

That was like the first, second one. And you know, I would say, well, how much money do I need to be making? And I'd give myself. I need to Trend that for 90 days solid to hire someone into those kinds of roles. The actual providers. I was not a that Was a no brainer. I fully staffed it immediately. But as far as the overhead, I would say, well, how much money does my spa need to be bringing in on a month to month basis in order to justify working myself out of that job? So it motivated me. It's kind of how where my revenue goals came from a lot too. Because this is actually my first brick and mortar business. I did that and then the spa was self sufficient. Over time, I feel like the way that I had actually let it go, I ended up filing bankruptcy in the future because, number one, I wasn't comfortable with the level of success. I became a millionaire by 31. It might sound bonkers to folks, but I will tell you, I had some mindset issues that of course did not show up until I was running my own thing. One of them was success was lonely. Cause I heard it was like lonely at the top. I don't know, I guess I bought into that. And beauty equaled pain. And that was probably from life experiences. And so when I was there by myself and it was all on my shoulders, it was just so isolated. I was missing, you know, my family, birthday parties, you know, any kind of special events. I mean, my life was the spa. And then I actually had some folks that were, oh my gosh, how can she be running a business like this? Like, look at her car, look at her house. Like, they were really. I had like, what I guess they call haters in the days now. But in that time, I didn't really know how to navigate that the opposition. And some people were really quite rude to me in my own spa, in front of my employees. And so I would have to say that there were times I was in Alabama, okay. And I'm an African American woman in Alabama. And at the time, I don't think I was quite ready to sustain a business under those conditions. And in a way, I kind of broke my heart. But in another way, I proved that I could do it. I did it. I really did it. When I was in corporate America, I helped a lot of businesses make great money, millions of dollars. One day I thought to myself, okay, well, if I can do it for them, can I do this for myself? Or is this like a virtual reality? Like, is this really real? And so that was the assignment that I took on and the curiosity that I had for myself. And also that's one of the motivators to start my own business. And so I did prove it. I was able to be a millionaire by 31. And that was worthy of being able to embrace And I will have to say I did not embrace that fact until I wanted to say a good five to seven years afterwards, because I was actually with my colleagues in a different environment. And I was like, yeah, that's what happened to me. And they're like, what? And I was like, yeah, but I filed bankruptcy. I'm saying this to be fully transparent, but also to remind you that are listening that there might be times in your business where you feel like you felt all the way down and you felt like that defined you, but. But it doesn't define you. It is an experience and it's what you do with the experience. I rose again. I rose again. I had so much clarity as to. I don't want to be tied to a brick and mortar anymore. I want to have freedom to be wherever I want to. I want to have freedom in how I spend time, who my clients are, who they're not, who I want to create life in love with, who I don't want to create life in love with. So it brought me so many gifts that then catapulted me to a future, to a life now that I barely recognize was even possible on the day that I closed the doors at the spa and I was able to sell it, but I had to also file bankruptcy for myself. And so it was a journey. But looking back, I just feel like it was a blessing wrapped in sandpaper.

Oh, yeah. Oh, phrasing. Blessing wrapped in sandpaper.

Oh.

So much in there. Just so much. There's so much I want to ask you about real quick. What type of role did you have when you were in corporate?

Oh, in corporate. So I just rose to the ranks. I started out as like a implementation consultant. Then I ended up leading that group and then I was recruited to start a new part of the business for a 5,500 company management roles and also very customer oriented roles. I did some program management or executive project management and I managed $20 million implementation projects. So I really dealt with reporting to the board of directors, working with the administration, working with the clinicians. It was a lot. I loved it because it was in healthcare. So I'm a mission oriented gal. I have to say.

I'm very purpose oriented.

And the moniker of guru of implementation. So just doing that in corporate. And then I love how you described the blessing wrapped in sandpaper of the spa business. There was so much good and so much you learned about who you did and didn't want to work with and who you didn't want to serve.

Yes.

Wanting the freedom and you said you sold the business, but you had to personally file for bankruptcy.

Yes, so I did. I sold the business. And so the complex was still able to have the spa, but I took some losses there because when I decided, let me tell you something, I wanted to still be in integrity. And that kind of. It hit me. But in the overall scheme of life, I feel great because I was able to sleep at night. So as I mentioned, I had memberships. Memberships were annual enrollment. And so when I decided that I did not see a future in doing this based on just not wanting to be in the climate, I refused to re enroll members. And when you do that as a business, that's not a smart idea. That's what caused me because I did not want to leave anyone high and dry and I didn't want people to pay me money knowing that I wasn't going to perpetuate it. Then I took the hit financially to sustain the business, to sustain my staff, to do those things until I had to close the door. It was sold. But then I took personal it to be able to do that. But I will say that overall, the losses were not the losses. Yes, at the time it was probably perceived as not a good idea, but I just intuitively knew that my assignment here was complete and I was ready for the next assignment.

And you did that in integrity.

Yeah.

You were in integrity with yourself of how you wanted to treat your clients.

Yes.

And the golden rule of treat them as you would want to be treated. You did right by them, even though there was an impact to you.

We'll be right back just after this.

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So I love how you're describing you're ready for your next assignment. And I've heard You talk about each of us have a divine assignment.

Yes.

So after closing down the spa business, how did you discover and do you put words to what your divine assignment is? And I also know you help other people do this.

Oh, absolutely.

It could sometimes feel quite mysterious. What am I meant to do? Or as you suggest, we ask, like, what is the highest level I can serve?

Yes.

Sometimes it feels clearer than others. So I would love to hear your. Of course, intuition around this, but.

Right.

How did you land on your divine assignment? And how do you help others do the same?

Well, it's so interesting because I believe that we do understand, like we do get a divine assignment. We get assigned that. And I remember this is a kind of critical time. When my father passed away and I was really close to my biological dad. I was just there with God and I was like, oh my gosh, he's going to be my father now. And I felt God was like, I'm your father and I'll never leave you. And I was just in this conversation of like, what am I to do? And at the time it was bring joy to people's souls, but it was like you were telling like a five year old. What you talking about, Willis? Like, what does that even mean?

I love that.

Bring joy to people's souls.

Yes, I love it. Yes.

Oh my God.

That's what I heard. And I. So I stayed curious. Cause I didn't know what that meant. And I would say that I heard it, didn't know what that actually meant. And then so I would say fast forward probably five years. I literally just sat down, I was like, okay, I heard this. What does this mean? And it was like, to support people in monetizing their sole purpose. And what that really looks like is, I mean, so it's a statement for sure. But the journey that a lot of people have to take in monetizing their divine assignment or their sole purpose is you have to have the mindset. You have to know it's possible. You have to be able to understand the abundance that you have available to you when you want to be in full alignment with who you are and your creator. I say, like from the manufacturer. We come with our sole purpose, our bodies and our intuition as our buddy along the way. It's like, it's part of the wrapping. When you take us out the wrapper, this is what we get.

Intuition. Batteries included.

Yes, batteries included. Right. It's always there. And I just had this conversation. So it's like, you have to have that mindset. You have to Be in alignment with what your purpose is in life. Because we can be walking around and doing all the things, but feel so out of alignment and so unfulfilled. And oftentimes, especially in corporate, you can make decent money, but you're like, this is for the birds. Like, I'm depressed, like, I don't even want to go to work, or it doesn't bring me joy. It brings a responsibility without the joy. So that purposeful alignment is actually a time where you can be in your flow. Like, you can use your gifts to make an impact in the lives of others. And you feel in alignment too, because it's coming from that aligned state, the highest version of your service, then you have to monetize it. So we've done all this stuff in corporate. I could support anybody in monetization. However, I knew I was taking a stand for the givers of the world. I pick the givers. I will take a stand for the givers because I know that in the DNA of a giver, we will do right by others to the best of our abilities. I don't have to teach a giver to be a giver. It comes with who they are. And as a benefit of who they are, if I can come alongside them and support them in monetizing, making six and seven figures in their assignment, then life is good. Because they're gonna be invited to those boards that other people don't get invited to. They're going to be invited to the behind the closed doors that are very exclusive, very selective, and with the givers in the room in those conversations, they're going to think about other people that might not have a voice. They're going to be considerate of other things that a taker might not naturally be lending to. Right? I'm not saying that there's not a room for givers and takers, because there absolutely is. I just happen to unapologetically take a stand for the givers. And that's why, because I want the world to be a better place by whatever contribution I can make. And this is the way that I do it. I serve the givers. I serve the people that want to make huge impacts in the world because if they're rolling on all cylinders, we will be fine, our children will be fine. And the more of us that can shine our light unapologetically, the better off we are. And then I support them with scaling up and locking in those systems. I feel like systems are so sexy because success can be locked in. It can be predictable. It can Be like, you'll know what it looks like if you serve so many people a year and this is your price point and you know what it looks like to convert them and to enroll them into their future. Then you'll know what it looks like to make a healthy six and seven figure business year over year with grace and ease. And what I found is that this is so juicy. That's how I support people. But what's juicy about that is during the pandemic that we have all experienced and sorry for the losses and also the gifts of COVID because they both came in a lot of different ways. When I was serving my clients, they were making more money than they ever made in their business. And it's because I was like, you know what we eat? Tsunamis, hurricanes, tornadoes for breakfast. A lot of us have already had our personal pandemic before the global pandemic. We're here to serve others in our gifts. This isn't the time to rest. It's the time to shine your light as bright as possible, to let people know that you are still there to support. Some of them had to pivot because some of them had face to face kind of businesses. But they did it and they were able to make more money than ever before. They were empowered, they were in alignment, and they were making huge impacts. If relationships were rocky before the pandemic, oh best believe that pandemic did not make it any better for some of us. If someone was questioning their life and their purpose before the pandemic, oh best believe had time and opportunity to really ask the questions and potentially listen to the answers. If entrepreneurs are struggling during that time, and if they were impact driven, I was easily able to come alongside them and show them shift their mindset, understand their purpose, their why, and to stand in their business more than ever. So that's the beauty of it. It is recession proof when you're looking to stay on top of your assignment and serve in a powerful way.

There's also such a theme that I know is throughout your work, of living in surrender.

Yes.

And during something like a pandemic, none of us could predict what was gonna happen.

Absolutely.

You have to surrender. And yet in the business world, it's so oriented around specific goals and metrics and even sexy systems, which I love too. How do you balance living in surrender as a business owner and a mentor to others while still blending? Do you have specific goals or do you just literally throw your hands up and you say, like, take me where you will, like, that will be my.

Own I will say I have both, because as the CEO of my company, I am responsible for the business and I make goals. I make sure that the team is in alignment. However, we're clear about our financial goals. We don't get paid unless we're making a difference in the world. So I have found that if I'm stuck at my computer and I'm not sharing anything and I'm not being visible, if I'm not providing that value and allowing people to know that I'm here to serve them, then the revenue will not come. It's the charter that I have, what I call God being the boss of all bosses. That's my boss, okay? So I have a business to serve and make it positive impact in the world. And if I'm not doing that, I will not see seven figures. So if I am doing that and if I have a team, our culture, we're all givers from all over the world. So we align our mission and we show up. In that way, our numbers represent the impact that we're making. They're not numbers just for numbers sake, which gives it more meaning. And when we go and we rise above our numbers, that means we did it. We were exceptional in really supporting others and making their dreams come true, in supporting them and discovering what their sole purpose is and what it looked like for them to monetize and be that gift that they are to the world. So when it comes to intuition, I would have to say that after the opening up of the world, when it opened back up, I probably was more having to lean into my intuition because the charge was not as critical. I mean, it always is critical. But as far as the pressure that I felt to truly to stand in the gap of all this tragedy and trauma, I'm very empathic and I feel that stuff. And so what I would say was amazing gift for myself before the pandemic even arrived is I try to discover mantras and affirmations that will really support me. And before the pandemic occurred, I told myself, I said, you know, okay, I'm awful at asking for help. I'm not good at it. And if I even know now that I need help, I'm awful at, like, having the right words. So my affirmation was, I'm supported above and beyond whatever I can imagine. And then the pandemic hit, and I'm so thankful I had that affirmation because that saved my butt. I will tell you what, it saved my hynie, I will say, because I'm here and I'm serving what I call giants every day. That's why I call my clients. They're the giants. Some of them are sleepy giants, Some of them are standing in their giantness, but they are giants for sure. I take that responsibility pretty high. So the health pandemic, I got it. Financial pandemic, I got it. The racial pandemic almost took me out. I just kept on seeing this man on the ground and asking for his mom and taking his last breath. That pierced me in a way that I didn't expect to that significant level. Because obviously if those don't know, this has been happening for a long time. But in that moment, on top of that was like the three punch knockout for me. And so I had to go ahead and make sure I got my counseling, I got my functional medicine doctor, like, whatever I needed to still rise above the fray. I made the investments to do that because I care about my clients so much and I really tell people and I take a stand to give from your overflow. So when I'm checking in and my flow is not over overflowing, I'm like, what does it need to look like for me to stay in overflow so I can be in true alignment to serve my clients in the best way? And when I ask these questions, no matter what the situation, the answer does reveal itself. And I find that even when I'm well, I don't get uber stressful. But when I see that it's a possibility that I can, I'm like, all right, God, look, this is what I need to know. I'm going to sleep.

And in the morning, I get the answer. So I just have that trust in my intuition. I have a trust in that limitless possibilities. I stay curious. And I know that I don't know everything and I haven't been exposed to everything, but there's a lot of possibilities on how to resolve situations and how to see things through. And I have to say that my intuition has been a great guide. And as a result, I've been able to develop a relationship so I can be in communication. I do listen, and I'm guided in a way that allows me to be like, yes, this is good. And as a result, my life is better than I ever imagined it to be. So I'm very thankful that I have been able to do that. And I share with my clients what it needs to look like for them. I'm pretty practical. So I've been a successful businesswoman for a long time. And while I do know that there's already an industry that they kind of call woo woo. I can say I'm not woo woo. I'm pretty practical. However, the facts are the facts and my experience is my experience. And I feel like to cut yourself off from your intuition, to not feel, to not honor yourself and all that you are created with, it's a disservice not only for us as individuals, but also for our families, our communities, and yes, even our clients.

We'll be right back just after this.

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We are such an embodiment of the fact that it's not either or. It's not like you're intuitive or you're practical.

Right.

You're the perfect example of you can be all in on intuition and in conversation with something bigger than you. And you can believe in your core that systems are sexy.

Absolutely.

And know how to take these visions and the intuition that you have and help people make them real. I mean, that's such a gift. And you clearly have both and see the importance of both. It's like just marrying the two or weaving them together.

Yes.

But it's not one or the other. And yet it's just so often the case that intuition is entirely left out of the business. Building conversation. It's just all about hardcore.

And you know what? I took my clients to Bali. I had a retreat that was how to leverage intuition in your business and in your life. And it was like game changer. Obviously it was a beautiful environment, but I curate the countries based on what I want to teach. And when I went to Bali for the first time, I was like, yeah, there's some spirituality going on here. There's a vibe here. Such a vibe.

Such a vibe can't not be joyful and intuitive.

It's impossible. Whether you share their origin, religion or not, I have not seen so many grateful people in my life. Like, just the authenticity and the feeling. I feel the gratitude in there. I feel it. And the more I talked to the people, I was like, yeah, like, this is a real deal. I don't share their religion, but I do cheer their spirituality in the likeness of it's bigger than us and it's good. And so I love that part about just being in the world.

What would you say, or what do you say to clients who say, I'm not good with systems? Because I hear that a lot.

Oh, yeah.

So what do you say to someone that just thinks they're not skilled in that area? Is that also batteries included?

No, those don't come with batteries included.

Batteries are not included.

Sorry.

But, you know, I've heard it all. Like, I hear all systems are so constrained, especially the folks that I serve that are creatives. They're like, systems. Wow. What's that? It's like a bad taste in your mouth. I would say first and foremost, it is not systems for system sake. Okay? Like, let's just be uber clear. It's not systems for system sake. It's only the systems that support your values and support what you're trying to do. And so what I would say when it comes to systems is like, first of all, look at what really is important to you. I systematically spend time with my daughter because I love her and I want her to know that mommy loves you. And so I carve out consistently time in this season. It's a lot of time, but it doesn't have to be a lot of time, right? But it has to be quality time where the intention meets the action and the being being present. When it comes to my husband, you know, we have date night. When it comes to my business, then systematically, like, I have to create. Like, how do I have this life where I can be wherever I want to be, when I want to be? That was systems. That was an intentionality. How do I work out on a regular basis? I call it, like, when I carve out the time on my calendar, I put names on it. So I understand, well, why do I have this system? So when I work out, I'm not working out. I'm snatching my sexy back. That's what I'm doing. That's why that's carved out. That's why it's on my calendar. So much more motivating. So much more motivating. Okay? And for those creative, if they're like, look, I don't even vibe if I cannot have my creative time. Well, block out. If you need three hours every Wednesday from 2 to 5, then no matter what's going on in the world, you know that that's your time. That is non negotiable creation. You know what I mean? For yourself, that might be your healing place. That might be your magical space. That might be how you lock into the next wave of serving humanity. Systems are not just to be there, they are serving a purpose. It works for you, not against you at all times. And if you have systems in your business or your life that's breaking, you get to reexamine it and say, okay, that's no longer working. What works now? I will say, just prime example from a life perspective as a mom, when my daughter was born, Angelisa was born. Oh my gosh, of course, this system is not mine. My intentions. I'm just here for her when she needs it. So that looked like every night, being up around the clock and all those kind of things. But after a while, she's getting her independence. I wanted to be intentional, okay, so how can we both win at this, you know? And I had to bring my husband and say, okay, look, this lack of sleep is challenging, you know, and I know I was the only one breastfeeding at the time, but let's revamp this so that I can also get some sleep and we could share this. I had to open up my mouth. I had to be like, this isn't working. Let's figure out what is working. And I feel like from a woman perspective, probably the hardest system is when you have to bring someone else into it. But you have to. As far as my team is concerned, there was a time in my business where I didn't need a lot of team. We had systems like how do I manage my email? Simple. As simple as that. What, what kind of meetings does my virtual assistant put on my calendar? How do we prioritize it? What's the color coding? You know, what takes precedent? And we had the categories we had to break down. We have business development, we had building relationships, we had sales and we had marketing, we had connecting and also a lot of follow up, Right? So systematically we figured out what works in every stage. Now in my business, we have to schedule once. I've been fired from my calendar so many times. Like we just do schedule once. We hook it up, leverage that technology which is part of the system in how I get calls booked on my calendar. If I'm trying to double book myself, it doesn't work anymore. We blocked out those inconsistencies. And then I have people that are not working for me just to book appointments. Now I have other skill sets that are on the team that's there for doing outreach for marketing and whatever they have to do for me. But it shifts as the business grows. And that's why I'm just saying, when it comes to systems, they are totally sexy because they serve you, they serve your values, and they support you in having that consistency. And kids need systems too. So these are the things that work for us all when we're able to approach it in that way.

I always say, too, that the best systems are so good, you can't not use them.

Oh, right, Exactly.

Schedule ones work so much better, it's harder not to use it. That's a good system. Not the ones that are just there for no purpose, as you said.

Exactly. Absolutely. And so that's why. So, I mean, after a while, I think even the creatives started catching on as to what I was saying. And I'd help people break down what their days look like and what their weeks and months look like. And they were able to have traction. They were like, okay, let me carve out three days a week. I will do something that is, you know, outreach in my business. And they would say, I'm building my empire, I'm working on my legacy. So it depends on as individuals, what's your motivation for doing what you're doing and what's your why. And that's what they tack on how they describe that particular system not always shared with their team or their family. But that's what it looks like. You know what I mean? A systematic approach for you to be successful and for you to honor yourself as you honor others every step of the way.

So powerful and so many great mindset shifts. Just the difference between, oh, I have to work out or I'm snatching my sexy Mac.

I wake up early to snatch my sexy Mac.

What is more motivating?

Yes.

So good. Melissa, I could talk to you all day. I always end with the same question. If you could give fellow business owners permission to do something differently or drop something altogether, what would it be?

I would say if you were to do something differently, for those of you that I call like the giants in the world, understand that whatever you want, wants you to. So it doesn't have to be either or it can be Both. And look at what's working for you and lean more into that unapologetically and allow yourself to explore new possibilities. Keep what's working. But if it's not working, sometimes we get so busy that we just drag a bad situation on. I'd call it like a future ex boyfriend. I don't know if everybody's anyone's ever had that.

You're in the relationship knowing that it's not working. You have a future ex boyfriend.

That's funny. That's so good.

So you might have a future ex boyfriend in your life. It might be in the form of a client. It might be in the form of team. It might be in the form of relationships that are just not serving your soul. And that's a distinction. There are relationships that might challenge you and stretch you. And it's like, well, what can I do to do my part? And when you do your part, then you know that whether the relationship stays with you or doesn't stay with you, you've risen to the occasion. And then you're crystal clear, this doesn't work. Or you're crystal clear, we won this. But there are other situations where it's not worth all that. Ladies, come on now. Like, it's not working. You've had enough evidence. Let it go. It might be the resemblance of a future ex boyfriend. So let it go and be at peace with it. And know that if it doesn't work for you, that there is certainly gonna be something that will work for you. So that it can be done in grace and ease. Or as Jenny puts it, grace and joy.

I love it. You got so many permission slips for us. You hereby have my permission to write us a whole book.

These are another book, right?

These are so good. Yeah, exactly. Another book. Just a book of permission slips. Because these are good. I'm like, oh, what else? I hereby accept them all. I love all of these many smaller, divine assignments to serve the bigger one. Melissa, this is just so joyful to connect with you. Thank you so much. Where can people find you if they wanna learn more and keep in touch?

Before I even say where people can find me, Jenny, I just wanna say thank you for being the light that you are. Thank you for having this amazing community to really pour into others. I just always wanna acknowledge the giants that are standing in their own light and are having their own platforms. Your heart is big and you are a love ball, really, to tell you.

The truth, you really are.

And I just wanna acknowled because it's not always easy to be consistent in your level of service and the fact that you take a stand. You are systematic on how you find who you feel like will serve your community. That takes work and effort. So I just want to say thank you, Jenny. It's been an honor being here with you and I really appreciate it. I really want to thank the listeners for being with us today and sharing in this conversation. For those that are looking to find me, I would say that I'm definitely on social media, on Instagram, @iammelissa Hughes. You can find me on most places like that. And if you do reach out to me on social media, I want to hear you. I want to say I was with Free Time with Jenny Blake. I want to hear where you found me and I want to be able to celebrate you. And then if you want to learn more, I actually have. I'm a founder of a movement called Live Rich Spread Wealth. If you want to learn more about that or even listen to the doc or look at the documentary, there's a documentary available on liverichspreadwealth.com check that out. And lastly, if you were ever one of the giants that are looking to be served to monetize your sole purpose or you want to join the School for Giants, you can inquire more about that on melissahughes.com Amazing.

Thank you so much for the kind words and talk about a ball of light and love. That's you as well, and I so appreciate the acknowledgement. I'm so grateful that you spent your time here with us and wishing you all a beautiful rest of the day.

You too.

Thank you so much Melissa.

Thank you Jenny.

Thanks everybody for listening.

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