252: On Spiritual Awakening, Faith, and Surrender in 2020

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What's next? This is a question we're all having to ask and answer more frequently. I'm Jenny Blake, your host of the Pivot Podcast and author of Pivot. The only move that matters is your next one.

For show notes from this episode, visit pivotmethod.com podcast if Change is the only constant, then let's get better at it. Here we go.

Hello friends. We are back with a listener Q and a that is more of a listener note of encouragement. An N O E from longtime listener Andre, great friend of the Pivot podcast. Although Andre and I have not met in person yet because we have Primarily connected in 2020, Andre is leaving some words of encouragement for me and therefore for all of you in response to my episode 240 on radical reimagining and recovery. Everything is up for grabs. So I'm going to turn it over to Andre for a moment and then I'll jump in as well, riffing on his fantastic theme of surrender, because that is one of my all time favorite concepts. So I'll read a few quotes after Andre's words. Over to you, Andre.

Hey Jenny, how's it going? It's Andre. I just listened to your podcast and I wanted to provide just some words of encouragement only because I think we're kind of all going through this, especially those of us who've been high achievers in the past. Just know that I believe the lesson that we're supposed to learn right now is surrender. And specifically that, you know, we think that uncertainty is something that's scary, but Deepak Chopra says it's actually the path to our freedom. And I think we're all relearning and the roller coaster is totally normal. Some of us, you know, we're having great days, some we have awful days. We're all getting off of a bit of a dopamine addiction, I think. And you know, like any addiction, withdrawal is real and it takes time. But I think what you have going for you personally is your authenticity. I hear in your voice. I'm very similar, Penny. Similar. I'm sure most of the community that you work with is this is all normal. I actually just watched a YouTube video about spiritual awakening today. And those periods that you're hitting right now, just know that you're taken care of. And really this is about trust and faith this time frame and that we're going through an evolution of consciousness right now. But it's happening exactly as it's supposed to happen because lessons are being learned and structures are evolving. So anyway, I just want to take some time out. Hope you're doing great. Talk soon.

Thank you, Andre. Oh yeah. Three of my favorite themes, faith, trust and surrender. So beautifully said. Thank you for the words of encouragement for all of us during these crazy times and also the reminder that for, for so many of us, we're coming. I don't know, I don't know if it's coming off of a dopamine addiction because I feel like working from home. There's all these new pings and then social media is as addictive as it ever was. Netflix beckons to the couch and then we have dopamine of the news cycle and the stress hormones that come in because of everything that's happening in our country, nationally, politically, socially. So I wonder if we're coming off of dopamine or if our systems are all the more jacked up this year and we're experiencing. I've had a one coach pointed out just the prevalence of adrenal fatigue right now. So I think we can just say one way or another. I don't know, I don't wanna speak for any of you listening, but it's like whose hormones would not be out of whack in a year like this? Some people I know are doing better than ever and that's awesome. And I honestly thought that would be me the first half of the year. But as I shared in a previous episode, it's also sometimes I think this year has personally custom crafted for each person whatever would be highly challenging. And that's the nature of this year, which is transformation and radical reimagining. And I love your reminder, Andre, to focus on surrender. The teacher that I have studied that concept with the most is Tosha Silver. I am obsessed with her book Outrageous Openness. I recommend it to every single person. If you haven't read it, you've got to. For this episode I want to read you a passage from her a follow up book that she wrote called Change Me Prayers. And each chapter is dedicated to a prayer that uncovers the hidden power of spiritual surrender. Here's one from the Chapter on when begging ends. She says, what's meant for you will always, always find you. You never have to be bothered by the people who aren't meant to understand. And anyway, sometimes years later, they are ready and they do so. The Change me prayer for this chapter is Change me, divine beloved, into one who knows that you alone are my source. Let me trust that you fling open every door at the right time. Free me from the illusion of rejection, competition and scarcity. Fill me with confidence and faith, knowing I never have to beg, just gratefully receive. There is so much swirling around us in the world right now. There is so much that is outside of our sphere of influence, our sphere of control. So for me, it's not just focusing on, oh, what can I control? What can I influence in my day to day environment. Because sometimes that can also make us crazy. By the way, just because you focus on things you can control, like in your own home, doesn't mean that that's actually calming because there's the urge and the impulse to control, which of course I have very strong muscles in trying to do so. I've also had to equally practice the skill and the muscle of surrender. And as Tosha Silver often says, surrender is not this passive thing that people assume, oh, you just lay down and let bad things happen in the world or to. It's not like that at all. It's an active process, the process of outrageous openness. The process of spiritual surrender is to say, show me the next steps. I surrender the notion that I can control everything or that even the things in my life are mine to control. She wrote a great book called it's not your money, and I've talked about that before on this podcast. That title alone is inspiring to me. It's not your money, it's not your business. It's not your partner, it's not your child, it's not your pet. It's the divine. We are all divine beings and they're not all of you are going to believe in a divine cosmic order to things. But when we think of something as mine, that's the small self latching on and thinking that we can control ourselves, another person, we or the environment, when we can surrender and say, it's not my money, I'm a conduit. I am a conduit for divine flow. It's not my book, I'm a messenger. I'm a conduit for these messages to make their way to anybody who needs them and can benefit. It's not your child, it's not your child to control and dictate who they are, how they're going to be. I'm not a parent, but I can pretty safely assume that, you know, I always say with a book, it becomes its own soul, its own living, breathing entity in the world. And a child, I mean, times a thousand that you, you from just all the parents I've spoken to, there's no way you can exactly say who they're going to be or try to make them be someone that they're not just to fit your ideas of who they should be. The same goes for our romantic partners. The same goes for our nation. Not everyone listening is in the US but we're coming up on a really, really intense election. And just the level of heightened stress, concern, divisiveness, anxiety is at such a peak. And surrender is not about not taking action. Of course. Please, please, if you're not already registered, register and make sure that you vote. I just kind of assume on this podcast, I don't need to tell you to do that, nor would any of register simply because I said, go register to vote. But get a jump on this and make sure that you know your voting plan and you're going to vote. That is taking the one next step that you can take toward the outcomes of our country. And then you got to surrender. It's so. There is this dance of taking the one next step, checking in with our intuition and asking for any given day, you know, what's the one thing that I need to do today? Or what's the one next step that I can take toward a big decision that I'm grappling with? And then surrender? And you can do that every day. We can surrender every single day. I invite you all to consider, how has 2020 already shaped you?

In what ways has it demanded that you surrender? So, looking back, where were there areas of your life or your work where you were grasping, where you had attachments, where you had ideas about what the outcomes should be or the way things were supposed to go? How has 2020 asked you to release those attachments?

Where in your life or your work have you hit points of total exasperation where you realize that all your efforts to control something weren't working and you kind of threw your hands up and you said, I give up. And not in a defeatist way, but in a way of surrender where you say, show me the way. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm exasperated. I. I give in. I give up trying to control all of this, and I'm going to let this situation or even this year shape me.

It's clear to me that this theme of radical reimagining, we are being reimagined just as we are trying to participate in the process. And that's what any growth oriented individual would do, is say, how am I learning? How am I growing? How can I take these setbacks as opportunities for growth? How can I see the silver lining? How can I make the most of these situations? We can also see that the fact that it's been so relentless is shaping us in return, that this is the dance that these events and situations unfold in this complex web of characters and energy that we're all experiencing. And as we lean into it and not resist it, then we can be in flow with it. And this is something that Penny and I talk about a lot in our Penny and Jenny show conversations. Those all reran in consecutive order in July, by the way. So if you want to listen to them all in a row and binge the Penny and Jenny show, just scroll back to the July section of these episodes. So to be in flow with what is, to accept reality, and this is what all the spiritual teachers talk about, Byron, Katie, Eckhart, Tolle, everybody is that to resist reality is to create suffering. Because the second that we're saying this is not how it should be, we're suffering, we're immediately. This is the Buddhist line of thinking as well, that you, if you resist what is, you create suffering. And only in accepting what is and surrendering to it and saying, this is here now. And in my case, I know how Pollyanna and cliche and annoying it is to have someone say to you or say to someone else, everything happens for a reason. But nonetheless, I try to at least sit with the question for myself of if this were happening for a reason, what would that reason be? And sometimes that does help me get new perspective on the situation.

So if we say, back to Andre's point, you know, what's going on in, let's say in the US this seems like so divisive. It's our most divisive time ever. And if we say, well, it's happening for a reason, what could that reason be? We could say it's maybe it's clearing out the old. Maybe there is a change in consciousness, an elevation or an evolution of consciousness, and this is that burning through process where we sort of have to grapple with all these different ideas and then out of that something new emerges. I don't know. That's the whole thing with surrender. Is that we can't know or attach to the outcome. We have a sort of observer, like, curiosity about what's happening, and we try not to take any of that personally. So this is a little statement I learned from Ruth King, who wrote a book on the mindfulness of race. And she says nothing is perfect, permanent or personal. I find that helpful to remember as well that none of this is going to be perfect. It's not personal and it's not permanent. So when bad or challenging things happen or we get in a fight with someone or someone says something that's hurtful to us, it is helpful to remember that so much of this isn't personal. It's people projecting their own stress and their own drama and their own traumas out. And the best that I always try to do is have compassion and be as compassionate as I can and as kind as I can. The Dalai Lama says, my religion is kindness. I love that. And continue focusing and continue surrendering to say, may this unfold for the highest good of all involved. That's a prayer that I'll often use. Show me the one next steps and may this unfold for the highest good of all involved. And to try to live every day with kindness and compassion and still discernment, because we can still be discerning about who and what energy we want to let into our life and our mind and what we want to say a clear no to. So this gets to the notion of a whole body yes. And a clear no.

Part of this year of reimagining. And what Andre is saying of having trust and faith is also tuning into ourselves and our intuition. A whole body, yes. Head, heart, gut. I forget where I first heard that term, but I love it. And even in pivot, I talk about from the book M braining the three intelligence centers in our body of head, heart, and gut. And it's a longtime favorite coaching exercise that when you find yourself at a fork in the road, you can ask, what does my head say? What does my heart want? And what does my gut say? And notice the shift in language. What does my heart want? Our heart is so powerful as the source of intelligence and information, and sometimes our mind overwrites it or overrides it with shoulds or social niceties. I encourage you to pay attention because going back to this dopamine cycle and just the physiological effects of this year, I don't know about you, but my tank is much lower than it has been in previous years. I don't have a lot of extra energy to spare. I Remember telling Michael earlier this summer, I'm on a hiatus, no new friends. I do not have room for new friends in my life right now. And that felt weird to say because my social self would say, oh, my gosh, no, but you should be networking and people are great and you should be meeting new people. It's. It's such a wonderful thing to do. But that's my mind. My heart was saying, no new friends. I don't have the energy. I don't have the space. You can judge me all you want, but I stopped having the energy to do the things involved with even making new friends. Or we'd get invited to dinner. And the effort for me, as a super introvert of sometimes small talk, sometimes really engaging talk, but not knowing which of the two it was going to be, or not really feeling caught up with my own friends, my own family, and my own self, I just, just. I'm on a hiatus, no new friends. And it feels so radical to say that, but this is a year of radical reimagining. Everything is up for grabs and nothing is permanent. So if I apply, nothing is permanent. Of course I'm going to make new friends when the timing is right.

Nothing is personal. It's not personal to anyone I meet or who reaches out to connect. It's not personal. It has nothing to do with you. It has to do with my own energy and abilities in this moment. And nothing's perfect. So who knows? I mean, I'm certainly not perfect. I think that's. What else can 2020 show us of all our flaws and imperfections, individually and collectively, and, and I think, to good end as well. Because of how we work, there was, I think, a lot of room to reimagine how we all work and how we navigate our days and our time. So this might be my most rambling, wandering, no agenda podcast ever. I hope that you could take at least one helpful insight or aha from it. That's what that was. That's what would make me happy, is maybe not all of it resonated, but I hope that you found something that did. I will close us out with one more change me prayer from Tosha Silver.

Change me, divine, beloved, into one who is willing to receive all the right help. Knowing each person, animal or thing is a form of you. Let me feel deserving of divine assistance in every way. Open me to receive.

Thank you so much for listening, everybody. Thank you, Andre, for the beautiful words. And if you want to leave a voice note, you can do so@pivotmethod.com ask have a beautiful rest of your day everyone.

Thanks so much for listening to this episode of the Pivot Podcast. Make sure you don't miss an episode or my insider tips and templates by signing up for Pivot List, a curated twice monthly newsletter where I share the inside scoop on what I'm reading, watching, listening to, and the latest tools I'm geeking out on. Sign up@pivotmethod.com pivotlist get show notes from this episode@pivotmethod.com pivot podcast and connect with me on Twitter at Jenny Blake.

Remember, build first, then your courage will follow. Hasn't it always.