312: Are You Future-Tripping?

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So when you catch yourself in a movie of anxiety, say I surrender. This is bigger than me. I'm going to turn this over to you universe. I surrender this area. I am not going to control or micromanage it any longer. If I'm meant to take action, please show me what to do. Show me one next step. What's next? This is a question we're all having to ask and answer more frequently. I'm Jenny Blake, your host of the Pivot podcast and author of Pivot. The only move that matters is your next one.

For show notes from this episode, visit pivotmethod.com podcast if Change is the only constant, then let's get better at it. Here we go.

Are you future tripping? Is there an area of your life where you're projecting so far out into the future that it's filling you with worry or anxiety? The first time I heard this phrase was in the early days of dating Michael in 2016. He's now my husband in large part because I was able to tame my at the time, very pervasive habit of future tripping. It's something that he and his friends would say because Michael is a guy that lives in the moment, goes with the flow. And this was more true than ever when I met him in 2016. Many of you know, especially if you've read the newest book Free Time, that we met walking down the street. Pure serendipity. He complimented me on what I was wearing overalls. I turned and said thank you. His friend asked where I got them and the rest is history. But I did not have a very strong or hopeful or optimistic dating history myself at that point. I had been in a number of very challenging relationships, including getting catfished before that was even a phrase in our collective consciousness. And I just had a lot of nerves and anxiety. I was much more secure in my career and to be honest, I always have been than in dating and relationships. So my future tripping tended to really come on the strongest in a dating context where I would start worrying about the future or I would meet somebody on a First date. And sometimes the future trip isn't bad, but you know you're on one when you're on your first date and within the first five minutes or 10 minutes, they're talking and you start to slowly fade out their voice. And then your mind starts going, do I like this person? Could I be with them for a long time? What if we got married? What would our kids be like? Would my family like him? That's a future trip. You have just now gone into the movie of your mind on a future trip about this person. Or let's say you're dating and they don't reply to your text right away, or they don't return your call right away, and all of a sudden they've just gone radio silent. What happened? Did they meet somebody? Maybe they don't like me anymore. I'm not good enough. This is a disaster. It's gonna end. I should probably just end it anyway. That's another future trip. And it's a bad trip because it just spirals the worry and anxiety and projection about things that haven't even happened yet based on very little data. We fill in the blanks of the missing data with assumptions. And often in my case, it was bad or insecure thoughts that just weren't helping me show up as my best self now. I also experienced future tripping when I was thinking of leaving corporate back in 2010. 2011 was when I started a sabbatical, and my future trips at that time were, oh, my goodness, I don't know if I can make it on my own. What if I quit corporate and then I'm not able to earn any money and then I spend out my savings and then I end up regretting my decision and then I end up going broke and then I have to move back in with my mom and then I have to dot, dot, dot. That was a future trip that I rode that train all day, every day. Every time I thought about leaving, I just went on this future trip of all the things that could go wrong in order to finally muster the courage to leave corporate, which deep down I knew it was time for me to do, to at least try, because my first book was launching. So I had this moment, this catalyst where I really wanted to know that I had given my own project a fair shot. And I also knew it wouldn't be fair to my team back at work if I tried to do both any longer and I was going to burn out. It was not going to be sustainable. So the only way that I finally mustered the courage to get off the future trip train was to start asking a different question. So instead of the future trip, what if I fail? What if I go broke? And so on and so on. I said, what if I earn twice as much in half the time? That was short. It was sweet. But it was at least a positive generative question. But what if I earn twice as much in half the time? And I started to at least hold the possibility that that could just as easily be the case. There's the parable that I share in Pivot. I'm sure many of you have heard it about. We all have two wolves inside of us, one representing love, the other representing fear. And the story goes, a child asks his grandfather, which wolf wins? And the reply is, the one you feed. Future tripping is worrying or freaking out about the future instead of being present with what's really happening in the moment. So on Urban Dictionary, they give the example, wind blows. Max, feel that it's going to be really cold later. Jack, dude, stop future tripping and enjoy the breeze. That entry was added in 2007. This term reminds me of people who talk about being on a bad trip. Like, if they take psychedelics or they smoke weed and they get super paranoid, they still say, I'm on a bad trip, or that person had a bad trip. And so future tripping again. Although sometimes it could somehow be positive, really it's the form of a bad trip. You're caught watching a movie that hasn't happened, so you're not really enjoying what's here in the present. As I was brainstorming how I wanted to approach this topic for the podcast, I saw an episode of Harlem. I watched this on Amazon Prime. It might be available on some other network, I'm not sure. And there was the perfect moment of dialogue that illustrates future tripping with a side of catastrophizing. Take a listen.

But, you know, it was kind of weird.

And that was gonna be my guess, too.

Yeah, he was all like, we could have the baby. Like, we just got back together and he's already talking about having kids.

I mean, is it really already when you guys have been in each other's lives for, like, a decade? I mean, you did say that you wanted to become parents someday, right?

Someday. But that's not today. And how do I know when I'm supposed to start? And what if I wait too long and then I can't have kids anymore? And then I'm overwhelmed with regret, and then I spend my last remaining dollar on QVC ordering creepy dolls that I introduce to people as my babies.

Oh, no.

And then what if we do. What if we do have a kid and we break up again and then now we gotta figure out custody and then the kids are always gonna like the dad more than they like the mom. And they come to my house and I'm busy for the weekend, so now they feel that they're being neglected. So then they grab my credit card and they buy creepy dolls off QVC that they call Mommy.

What is up with her in QVC and creepy dolls?

What a ride on the future trip train, right? This is a good example of catastrophizing as well. So her future trip, she was projecting so far out into the future that she was already divorced from a guy she just got back together with. She had already had kids, they had already had a custody battle, the kids already chose the dad, and she has a collection of creepy dolls. So catastrophizing is imagining the worst possible outcome of an action or an event. It means you're thinking about something as being a catastrophe or having a potentially catastrophic outcome. And this is where a lot of worry comes from. Worrying about the future, but specifically a catastrophic future. As the saying goes, worrying is praying for what you don't want. What I love about that saying is that it's a reminder that every time you future trip or catastrophize or worry about what goes wrong, you're sort of cementing those neural pathways, or at least carving grooves in those neural pathways about actually creating that. That's where things can turn into a self fulfilling prophecy. While I was still brainstorming this episode, I shared the concept with my dad and he laughed because he hadn't heard the phrase. But when he was growing up, his mom told him a story about the Fuller Brush salesman. That this guy was going door to door trying to sell Fuller brushes and he was getting discouraged because people weren't buying them. And so he started to feel increasingly angry and despondent. And finally he decided, no one's ever going to buy these brushes. I'm a complete failure. So as he goes up to the next door, he rings the doorbell, the woman answers the door and he throws them in her face and says, I knew you wouldn't buy them anyway. That's an example of a self fulfilling prophecy. Which is one of the more negative outcomes of future tripping or catastrophizing. It can be harmful because first of all, it increases your anxiety and your stress. It can interfere with decision making because you're living in the future, you're not really taking in the data of what's happening right now. It might interfere with your relationships if someone does something small that annoys you. That could just be a quirk or a pet peeve, but you sort of catastrophize that, well, 20 years from now this is going to drive you absolutely mad and just overall kind of affects your well being because again, you're not really present, you're not really listening, you're just overly preoccupied and living in a movie that doesn't exist here in reality.

Here are 10 ways to know that you're future tripping. You are future tripping when you start worrying excessively about things that haven't happened yet. You're constantly thinking about what could go wrong in the future. You feel anxious or stressed about things that are months or even years away. You're always planning and preparing for hypothetical scenarios. You're unable to focus on the present moment because you're too preoccupied with what might happen. You're constantly checking and rechecking your plans and schedules, or I might add, your texts and your messages, your voicemails. You're always seeking reassurance from others about the future. You're making decisions based on fear or uncertainty about what might happen. You're losing sleep or experiencing physical symptoms because of your future oriented thoughts. And you might even be neglecting important relationships or opportunities in the present because you're so focused on what might happen in the future. So let me give you a few career related examples because right now I just shared with you my early days dating neuroses. Here's an example. Let's say Claudia is a recent college grad who's about to start her first job. She spends most of her time worrying about whether this might be the right career for her, whether it's going to look good enough on her resume, whether she'll be successful, whether she can make enough money to support herself. And she doesn't even enjoy this first job because she's so preoccupied with how it's going to fit, where it's going to look, where it's going to take her in her life. Or consider John. Let's say John's a mid career professional who has been in his job for several years and he's doing well. He's getting good feedback from his manager, but he's constantly worried about whether he's on the right career path. He sees peers getting promoted faster than him. He's wondering if maybe he should have pursued a different career altogether and now projecting all the way out to whether or not he'll be able to retire comfortably. And he's even worried, not just career wise. Will he have enough savings? Will he have a partner? What if he ends up alone? He spends a lot of time researching other careers and fantasizing about what his life would have been like if he had made different choices. Or let's look at an example of an entrepreneur. Let's say her name is Brooklyn. I've always loved that name. She's running her own business despite the fact that it's thriving and profitable. She's constantly worried about the future. She's worried about whether she'll be able to keep up with changing technology. She doesn't love figuring out software and new apps, and she feels kind of stuck in the ones that she's already invested in. Now ChatGPT is coming down the pike. What's that gonna do? She's worried about whether her business will continue to be successful. What if she stops wanting to do client work? Can she keep her team members happy? Her whole experience of running her business is wrecked with anxiety and worry about the next paycheck, the next client, about her own skills and abilities, even her ability to navigate uncertainty. For somebody who does too much future tripping, like I was doing when I was thinking of leaving corporate, it might mean that you decide not to pursue certain risks at all. Missing out on a chance to go for it, to know that you tried. As I say in pivot, we don't have fomo, we have font fear of not trying. Another final example here in terms of catastrophizing. Let's say Maria is invited to give a presentation or a keynote speech at a conference in her industry. She's worried she's going to mess up and embarrass herself, because in the past, she tends to get nervous, her voice shakes, her face turns red, she gets restless leg syndrome. This has all happened to me, by the way. So Maria starts catastrophizing. She just imagines the worst possible outcome. She gets on stage, she forgets her notes, she stumbles on her words, the audience laughs at her, and she loses all credibility. So that person might avoid public speaking altogether, missing out on a chance to build her skills, build her reputation, and carve out a niche for herself as an expert in her field.

Now, before I share some of the strategies that have worked best for me over the years to reduce future tripping, I'm going to call it present calming as the alternative, more desirable state, I do want to say a caveat. That it is really important to notice that there are some times where considering the future, strategizing problem solving for the future might be warranted, especially when your intuition is telling you that there are actual red flags or warning signs to be concerned about. So in these cases, the red flag is trying to tell you something. And in this case, projecting that into the future might be a useful mechanism for identifying problems and then taking proactive steps to adjust or get out of that situation. I mentioned getting catfished. Early days, this was, I don't know, 2009. Even tools like Skype were not very common. Definitely not zoom. There was no FaceTime on the iPhone, at least that I'm aware of. And I met a fellow blogger. He was a brilliant writer, really vulnerable and had such a way with words. Had a gorgeous picture of himself on his website, said that he was an entrepreneur, had pictures of an adorable dog. And so I started chatting with this person. And early days, in our conversations online, I mentioned him calling me. I forget why I even said that. But he said no, he didn't call me. And a little red flag went off, but I didn't listen to it. And so I kind of scratched my head. But I just thought, all right, well, he must have his own timing and his own reasons. I'm not going to push it. We can have this be this sort of pseudo Victorian romance of letter writing and written communication, which was rare for me. I had never really had that with a person and I had never really had this type of deep emotional connection and certainly not with a fellow blogger where a lot of us were feeling like we were sort of pioneering something in those days of sharing our thoughts and feelings publicly online in the form of a blog. Because this was really before Facebook became an outlet, before social media became an outlet for that kind of content sharing. Looking back, I wish I had future tripped a little more. I wish I had said, if this guy can't even pick up the phone. We lived across the country at the time, maybe something's off. That's kind of a normal thing that you could expect from somebody. And we ended up communicating for 6, 7, 8, 9 months in this manner all day, every day. It was very intense. But this person never did call me. To this day, I don't know if it was a man or a woman or now we could imagine someone non binary. I don't know why, because they never called me. Think of how much time I invested and how much heart and soul and energy that I poured into this. I didn't read the signs, I didn't read the tea leaves. Soon enough there were other red flags, of course, as there always are in situations like this, that they kind of are yellow in the moment. And then, as someone said it once, and I never forgot this, sometimes in an instant all the yellow flags turn red in a heartbeat. Like some final thing happens, the final straw. And all of a sudden you look back and you see all those moments where you could have listened to your intuition more. So building intuition, it is definitely a skill, but we all have it and it is possible to improve it. So I definitely want to say that if someone or a situation or a manager at work or a job, the cultural context of the company you work for, if it is just soul crushing and it is sparking a lot of anxiety in you more than other similar situations, that might be a sign that something is actually wrong.

We'll be right back just after this.

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All right, so what can you do when you get on the future tripping train and you suddenly realize you're getting derailed? You're going off the tracks. This is not a helpful thought loop. I'm going to share 15 strategies that have been helpful to me. If you research any of these types of topics online, they usually say meditate, self care or talk to a therapist. Of course you can do those things. Of course you can. This is not going to be a podcast where I tell you to meditate more. That's starting to drive me nuts. Maybe because I'm not meditating. But I used to meditate. I meditated every day for a thousand day streak and pretty consistently for five years. And sometimes no amount of meditating or journaling does what you need like really helps shift the context. So let me share some other strategies that have worked for me that are a little more hands on, kind of practical, tactical. But let's just say that. Sure, sure. Meditating, self care. Those go without saying.

Number one, notice when you're in the movie. This requires being a watcher. So it's hard. This is part of what mindfulness practices help with, which is being an observer. But if you feel yourself in a sort of off state, you're stressed or you're worried, notice are you in a movie, are you responding to something that has actually just happened? Or are you in a movie where you're projecting events and possibilities and catastrophizing? So try to become the watcher. So step one or strategy one is just notice. Notice specifically when are you in a movie? You're living in a movie. Things that don't really exist, that happened in the past or that could happen in the future, but they're not what's in front of you right now. Strategy number two, when you notice that you're in the movie, practice self compassion for your fearful side. Some people even call it your inner kid. That maybe there was a you, a version of you that's been hurt by some kind of similar situation in the past. Even if it's colleagues who are kind of gossipy and mean girly, even if they're men or a bully, someone who's just kind of a bulldozer in your life, at work, in the neighborhood, doesn't matter. It might be triggering some experience you've already had. So self compassion is huge. That term used to make me cringe until I actually read Kristin Neff's work and I realized how crucial it really is and how negatively I had been speaking to myself a lot of the time. And this is, I believe, pretty common to people who have perfectionistic tendencies where we unconsciously believe that the harder on ourselves we are, the better we'll do. If I'm really strict with how I eat and how I look and how much I weigh, then I'll be more successful. And it just doesn't work like that. You can't really bully yourself into submission. The other book that was an absolute paradigm shifting game changer for me around this was nonviolent communication with by Marshall Rosenberg. And specifically there is a chapter on how we speak to ourselves and something about the way that chapter is written. I've heard the audiobook is really good as well. It just got me to realize that I was not speaking to myself as kindly as I could. So now when I notice that I'm in a movie, I'm in a future trip, I have compassion and I speak to myself like I would a little kid. I say, I'm so sorry you're feeling that way. Sometimes what I do too, my people pleasing tendency is to really empathize so much with the other person. Let's say I'm in conflict, that I beat myself up. I'm the problem, I'm what's wrong, I'm too sensitive. And I have been told those things before. Even in relationships, you're so sensitive, you're too sensitive. So when my dialogue matches that I don't get out of the movie, I don't get off the future trip train. It wasn't until reading that chapter that I would start to say to myself, I can completely see why that made you feel upset or why you're feeling down right now. It doesn't even have to make the other person wrong. It's just a moment of self compassion that this is a heightened situation or I know how much you hate conflict, or I can see how hurtful the way that person looked at you was, how terrible. You know, just somebody to empathize, like being your own inner best friend instead of the inner behavior. Police.

Strategy number three builds on another very powerful book that changed my life. Loving what Is by Byron. Katie, you've heard me talk about the work before. It is so powerful. I used to print out the judge your neighbor worksheets from her website and at some point I stopped printing them. I just wrote in my journal. But every single time I would have a stressful thought or a thought that would send me on a future trip, I would come back to the work. Specifically the series of questions. She says, treat them like a meditation. Is that true? Can I know that it's true? How do you feel when you think that thought? Who would you be without that thought? Can you see a reason to drop that thought? And then you turn it around, you give all the other ways that that thought, which is kind of like a photo negative, it's close to something true, but it's not true because it's causing you pain. So when you turn it around, you can pick a version of that thought that feels much more true. For example, let's say you're running your own business and cash flow is really thin this month and you don't have enough to pay your bills. And so the thought is you're a terrible entrepreneur. You're not running a business, you've got a hobby. Here you're a terrible entrepreneur. Well, first of all, we know from our previous strategy that's not very kind self talk. Is that true? You go, yeah, I am a horrible entrepreneur. Can I know for sure that that's true? Well, no. How do I feel when I think that thought? Totally deflated, discouraged, down. Who would I be without that thought? Free, relaxed, more present. Can I see a reason to drop it? Yes, because it's not helping anything. It's definitely that energy is not going to help me get more clients or creatively launch something new in the business. And then we could turn it around. Instead of saying I'm a terrible entrepreneur, she has you do all kinds of flips and flops to get the opposite. I'm a wonderful entrepreneur. Can I find examples of why that might be the case, how that could be true? So you get the idea on number three. Number four, what's here now? What are the facts versus what I'm projecting or assuming? So in the example I just gave, what's here now? Oh, there's not enough money in my bank account to pay the bills. And this is just an example, but it's one that we all have probably experienced from time to time. So jumping to the conclusion, I'm a terrible entrepreneur. My business is going to fail. My clients will stop wanting to work with me. Those are all future trips. What are the facts? There's a gap in what I owe and what I have. And you can problem solve from those facts without creating a whole story and set of assumptions around them. Number five, reframe whatever future trip you're having as an expansive creative question. If the future trip is that you're working for a manager that you can't stand, they're just going to hold you back. You're not going to progress. You're going to become increasingly isolated at work, and then pretty soon you're going to get fired. That's another future trip. Okay, reframe the thought. As an expansive question, what are all the ways I could approach current situation? You could even ask, how can I shift into a more joyful team at work? Or how can I shift my current relationship with my manager? You can at least ask it. As an expansive question. I give you the example. What if I fail becomes what if I earn twice as much in half the time? Let's say someone you're dating doesn't call you back or they even break up with you. And instead of future tripping about how you're going to be alone forever with those creepy dolls, you could just say what if there's someone that's an even better fit out there for me? Number six. Trust yourself to be creative and resourceful at every next step. I would even try to find examples of how you have successfully navigated uncertain or nerve wracking, risky feeling situations in the past. One of my first and most influential yoga teachers, Kim, when I was telling her I was nervous about my first book launching and getting overwhelmed and there was so much to do and I was so worried, I was at that time very worried about critics, what would people say? She just said, trust yourself. You've always known every one next step. And her words to this day are a reminder. Just take the one next step and trust that you will know the one after that. You always have. Number seven. This is one I've learned from Penny Pierce. She says that intuition kicks in on a moment by moment basis. It's usually as needed and not a moment sooner. So intuition does not come from mulling over the past or projecting ourselves into the future. It is in the moment. If we are truly present in the moment, we will be able to hear and tune in to our intuition.

The times that I've gotten into bad relationships that were not good for me were often because I was future tripping about a fantasy of who this person could be, not present to the reality of who they actually were. So in those cases, my future trip was just painting this elaborate fantasy. I tend to see the best in people, but in this case I was seeing so much of the best, it wasn't even reality, it was a complete fantasy. So if you can pull back and get out of even as fun as that kind of future trip is to just fantasize about how amazing and perfect this person is, which we know deep down nobody is, and how wonderful and idyllic our relationship is, which once you get past week three or month three and you actually hit reality, the friction and the having to negotiate actual reality together, not just like fantasy meeting on vacation and this is how it's always going to be, then you can tune in to intuition. And again, this is just really something I've learned the hard way. Or if you're not sure if you should stay on your team at work or at your company, sometimes you will feel confused until you won't. Every day you just take in data and trust your intuition to kick in when there is action to be taken. Number eight, be grateful for the opportunity in front of you, the abundance that your problems represent. So I forget exactly how this phrase is worded, but people say like imagine your past self would probably be grateful for the problems you have now, like they're a sign of all that you've built and how far that you have come. So consider the abundance that whatever you think are your current problems what it represents. And I've been trying to do this myself, even if I'm dreading something or procrastinating, trying to change my language from I have to to I get to. Even if the times I've been most uncomfortable, like in the midst of dating uncertainty, hell, and just hating it. It's like I get to meet new people on these dates rather than I have to slog through yet another date because sure enough, I would probably show up to that one already feeling pretty grumpy. It's almost guaranteed not to go well. Number nine of course you want to be realistic and observant, but try to hold a positive vision of what's possible. So if you find yourself future tripping in a way that is just riding that future trip train so far out into the future that it's negative, you tip into catastrophizing. Try to paint a picture of what else is possible. What is a positive vision that you could flesh out? You can do the ideal day mad library pivotmethod.com idealday and just fill in the blanks of what is a positive version of this side of you look like. Or you could do a free write 1, 2, 3 pages handwritten of a positive vision of the future in this area. 10. Sometimes when I can't sleep or I wake up in the middle of the night, my mind, it does not go to great places. That's when it might turn to anxious thoughts or even my to do list things I need to do. So this one's really practical. Put on a podcast before bed or in the middle of the night. Find one where the voices relax you. Maybe it's even this one. Or one of these sleep podcasts. There's so many of them now. Or an audiobook. Just something that has good messages like let's not put on true crime in the middle of the night. Put on something that is not going to give you nightmares, but that can just gently guide your mind off of your ruminating thoughts and just onto something random. I always set a sleep Timer for usually 15 or 20 minutes if I can, and then hopefully I'm back asleep. But I imagine the reason this works so well for me, it's like someone's just reading me a bedtime story. There's a reason we read books to kids to help them sleep, you can do the same 11. Take action instead of just ruminating on the future if you are really spinning out a sense of anxiety, what can you do? What can you do? What small step could you take toward a solution or to make yourself feel better? So usually if you're really getting overly concerned with something, there is maybe a small action that you could take here and now in the moment. So if you're really worried about getting fired and how you would find your next job, maybe you can just reconnect with old friends or colleagues. People in the industry just reach out to a few people, set a goal to have a in person or virtual coffee once a week or even once a month would be better than I do right now. My friend Jordan Harbinger on his show and he has a six minute networking course that's free. We'll put the link in the show notes. He always says dig the well before you get thirsty so you could take small actions, spruce up your resume, whatever it is you need to do so that you're not just feeling like you're at the mercy of someone else or a situation that could happen in the future.

12. Limit your exposure to negative news and I actually think that term is redundant. I think the news is inherently negative. We don't even need to say negative news, it's implied. The news is all about putting people at odds. Truth versus fiction. It's so contentious. I hated the local news as a kid because I was convinced that I was going to be kidnapped any day now. I genuinely felt watching the news was way more terrifying than any movie, any fictional show that would be playing on the tv. I hated it. And it is still true to this day. I consume my news via physical newspaper because I can't stand the clickbait sensational articles. They could still be clickbaity even in print, but at least it's at a slow analog pace and I'm not getting jumpy clicking and watching things online.

Number 13 maybe you just need a workout. Sometimes when my anxiety starts bubbling I just need to do a yoga class, ride the peloton bike. I don't go for runs as often as I would like to, but you could go for a run. Put on your shoes. 20 minutes, just go 10 minutes out and then turn back around 10 minutes back 20 minutes. That's enough to get those good endorphins flowing. Maybe your self care is scheduling a massage or Michael's a member at Equinox and they have a sauna and a cold plunge in a steam room and sometimes I'll go as his guest. I don't even work out at Equinox. We just pay the fee and I treat it like a spa afternoon and I go to all those different rooms. So of course this is where self care can be helpful. Just anything that grounds you and kind of puts you back in your body instead of into the movie of your mind. 14. Talk to a trusted friend or family member. Talk to somebody who energizes you, who you trust, who actually knows how to listen and ask questions. The friend I would call if I were on a future trip is not the one that jumps to give me advice or solve my problems or tell me. I mean, I'm guilty of like recommending books to people when they're having a tough time. But I will tell you that many friends have reported back that I've given the book rx, the book prescription for just the right thing. That was like eye opening or mind blowing or paradigm shifting. But in general, try to have your go tos. The people who energize you, who have themselves a relatively sunny outlook, I would say, who can just help you talk through, parse out what's really going on and help you kind of get back to the present moment. Last but not least, we can take a page out of Tosha Silver's book Outrageous Openness and Surrender. There's another great book called the Surrender Experiment by Michael Singer where he talks about every day, every situation, every problem, saying yes, yes, yes, yes. Just surrendering every day to what is removing the need to have plans, just pulling back that perfectionistic or controlling part of ourselves that wants to know the answer or even guard ourselves against potential problems. And instead, how can we surrender even a sticky situation or an anxiety provoking situation like worrying about job security or a new relationship that's sparking that anxiety of what if this doesn't work out? Or sometimes even in our most joyful moments, we then have a fear of losing whatever that precious thing or person or furry friend might be. So surrender. How can you, instead of future tripping as a way that your mind thinks you might be able to calm your anxiety or solve a problem which it's not actually productive, just say I surrender. I don't know how this is going to go or I don't know what to do, I turn this over to you universe. The whole principle from Tosha Silver's book Outrageous Openness is offering, offering a problem or a situation or something. You're stuck on offering it up, saying I've taken this as far as I can. I don't know what to do next. Please show me one next step.

And that is what I will leave you with as an experiment to try in this next week. See if you can notice yourself when you're caught in a movie. And the second part, the flip side of that coin? Surrender it. So when you catch yourself in a movie of anxiety, say I surrender. This is bigger than me. I'm going to turn this over to you universe. I surrender this area. I am not going to control or micromanage it any longer. If I'm meant to take action. Please show me what to do. Show me one next step.

I hope you found this helpful as always. I would love to hear from you. You can send me a note at any hello@its pivotmethod.com or you can leave me a voice memo@pivotmethod.com ask here's to present calming whenever we find ourselves future tripping. Thank you so much for listening. I'm wishing you a beautiful rest of your day.

Thanks so much for listening to this episode of the Pivot Podcast. Make sure you don't miss an episode or my insider tips and templates by signing up for Pivot List, a curated twice monthly newsletter where I share the inside scoop on what I'm reading, watching, listening to, and the latest tools I'm geeking out on. Sign up@pivotmethod.com pivotlist get show notes from this episode@pivotmethod.com podcast and connect with me on Twitter @jennyblake.

Remember, build first, then your courage will follow. Hasn't it always.

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