81: Create, Serve, Receive, Be Prosperous: Soulful Business with Jeffrey Shaw

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For show notes from this episode, visit pivotmethod.com podcast if Change is the only constant, then let's get better at it. Here we go.

Hello everybody. Welcome back to the Pivot Podcast. I am overjoyed to be here today with Jeffrey Shaw. He's a fellow soulful solopreneur and entrepreneur and I just can't wait for today's conversation. A little background on Jeffrey. Jeffrey's mantra, one of them is that having a keen eye isn't just for what one sees, but also for what one senses. Having been one of the most sought after portrait photographers in the US for more than three decades, Jeffrey Shaw, AKA the Lingo Guy, uses this honed intuition to attract and maintain specific markets by speaking their secret language. His portraits have appeared on the Oprah Show, CBS News, in O Magazine, People Magazine, and New York Family Magazine. Jeffrey is a host of the popular business podcast Creative Warriors, a nationally acclaimed keynote speaker, business coach for entrepreneurs, and author of his new book Lingo. Discover your ideal customer's secret language and make your business irresistible. Jeffrey, welcome to the show.

I am so excited to be here with you. Jenny. Thank you.

Likewise, we connect on our soulful approach to life and work. And in fact, one of your mottos for your business is Create, serve and be prosperous. Can you share a little bit about your vision behind Creative warriors and how you imbue that sense of soul and purpose and service into the work that you do?

I love that. And I do love that we connect in that way because honestly, I don't know that there's any other way to be in business. I have just always found that I needed a blend of both the inside and outside work. And actually I think it's that blend that makes us successful and fulfilled. I just don't think we want to take just one approach and just, I mean, it takes action and this I'm always careful to explain. It's like I am a very action oriented guy, as I know you are. You know.

I know you take a lot of strategy and I work with a sense of strategy. But at the end of the day, you know, I was actually late to one of my coaching calls the other day and I allowed myself to be late because I knew the reason I was late would be a good learning lesson for my client. And when I got on the phone with her, I let her know I had just launched the pre launch of my book Lingo. It was two days later and fear came up for me. I bet you know that feeling too, right? It's out there, it's out there. And so all this all is fear. And the reason I was late to call, I said to her because I needed to go deeper with my daily practices that day and it made me a little late and I knew that she would appreciate that and I wanted her to understand, as I try to strive for other people to understand that strategy is great and I've got all the action steps and I've got the strategy, but at the end of the day I always turn inward first before I apply the strategy because it's the practices that unblocks what could possibly be in the way from the strategies working.

It's a back and forth thing for me inside and outside, but I always turn to the inside first to unblock so that the strategies work.

There is so much gold in there. I love even what you said to your client, just that integrity and authenticity, modeling for her and then taking also ownership and responsibility and just letting her know this is exactly where I'm at. And then I feel like probably she felt so much more connected to you coming, getting into that coaching call.

Yeah, I hope so. And I also, I wanted her to, I knew that she needed to hear that that's what she needed to do also because entrepreneurs a lot of times just work harder. You know, one of the, one of the things I offer often as what I refer to as a self identifying question, it's part of my strategy, it's a marketing strategy and it's a way of getting people to identify, identify that I am the one to help them. A question I often pose is, are you working really hard but hardly getting ahead?

What causes that hamster wheel treadmill feeling is often that you are just applying strategy but you're not unblocking. And I know that she was at a point that she needed to hear that. So it just so happened as is Often the case, something I was learning was something she needed to learn at the same time. So she did seem to appreciate the sharing of it. And I hope it taught her to turn inward when in times of struggle.

And challenge and the same can happen in reverse. I remember a mentor saying to me once, every single coaching client and even conversation with a friend is mirroring something I can also learn from on that day. And I love your approach to doing the inner work at the same time as we do the business work. That's something that's been on my mind a lot lately too, that even things that seem very surface level, like revenue goals. But it starts from the inside. It starts from. For me, it's like, what's my soul calling here? What are the sole goals that require or that excite me to uplevel my business? And then what's within my integrity to pursue, whether it's pricing or a new client or a new format for my services. So it really is this journey of entrepreneurship serves our inner growth at the same time that the inner growth, as you said, becomes the base for all that we do externally.

Yeah. My absolute favorite quote of all time was by Jim Rohn, and his quote is, our level of success rarely exceeds our level of personal development.

Right.

That's good.

I know. Could it be any better? But I live by that quote. I mean, I truly believe that, and I try to stress that to others as well, is that our level of success rarely exceeds our level of personal development. Therefore, as you raise the ceiling of your personal development, that's how you raise the level of your success. And just, you know, we have to grow. And I've often said, I mean, I've been an entrepreneur for 33 years. I was age of 20, I was in. Well, actually I was an entrepreneur by the age of 14, selling eggs door to door. But professionally speaking, by the age of 20, I was in business for myself. So it's been 33 years. I have to say this, Jenny, but, you know, this feeling too. This has been personal development on steroids. Like I just. Right. I don't know there's any better way to force personal development than being in business for yourself. To be a creative warrior. That's kind of where the name comes from. It's like when you're business marketing yourself, selling your talent, putting yourself on the line. It takes that deep, soulful strength of a warrior in order to succeed. And yeah, this whole journey has been one of expansive and accelerated personal development which leads to success.

I love what you said about that. Kind of being ready for success. And I'm curious to hear your thoughts because just yesterday I was giving a workshop for my private Momentum community and I was saying that I kind of play this game with myself. Like, am I ready? If I was on Oprah tomorrow, or if Oprah just shouted out my name or carried my book in a paparazzi photo tomorrow, would I be ready? And sometimes I think these outer nods or tipping points don't occur until we're somehow ready. Not 100%, because always those opportunities stretch us in very new ways and they kind of explode our previous version of ourself. But. And so it's not. I don't so much mean it as a limiting belief, like, oh, only when I have everything buttoned up, then I can achieve a tipping point of some kind. But it's more like I don't think those things happen on an energetic level until we've kind of got a certain amount of ducks in the row. Ducks in a row, Both on the inside, in our inner game and in the business kind of systems. Like, are we ready to catch that level? And that in some ways, when opportunities aren't happening, it's actually a friendly note from the universe that, hey, you're not quite there yet. What are your thoughts on this?

Gosh, I love that you just used the word catch, you know, because that's actually what it feels like and it is a receiving model. So in the book lingo, I refer to this as reciprocal communication. And this has been the hardest, I have to say, Jenny, it was the thing I felt most innately, but it was the hardest thing to communicate and to get on paper. Like, I know this feeling of reciprocal communication. I know without a shadow of a doubt there is a co creation going on around me. And the example I give in the book is that this is gonna sound so nerdy. But you have to understand, I grew up in the country.

I love nerdy. Bring it on.

Our only source of entertainment in my little country town I grew up in was bowling. And I was an exceptional bowler. Like as a 12 year old, 13 year old, I was like a really exceptional bowler. And I knew this thing would happen. When I succeeded as a bowler, it wasn't when I was hitting the pin, it was when the pins were receiving the ball. And there was this different feeling and I could never put it into words. Now granted, I'm like 12, 13 years old, but I had this observation that there was a difference between me forcing a goal, I was going to hit the pins versus I am in energetic sync with the pins and they're receiving the ball. So I've spent better part of my life with this understanding of having no in the beginning, not having the maturity or wisdom to put words to it. So now here I'm writing this, trying to put this in the books. I think this is a critical part of business success because honestly, Lingo is primarily a book about marketing strategies and branding strategies. But I wanted to end it with self help so that people were unblocked. So when they applied the strategies, they worked. This reciprocal communication was imperative, but it was so hard to put to words because it's such an energetic quality. But I actually think it's the way goals have evolved. I don't think moving forward. And I think part of the reason, Jenny, you and I love being in business in this time is that it is more energetic. It's a more energetic communication, as I say. And it's such a premise of the book. Lingo is that people hire you because you get them.

That's that sense of really getting each other. So people make decisions on who to do business with on an energetic level. So there is this nonverbal reciprocal communication going on. And I think it's the way goals have evolved that we can't just force or hit our goals, that we have to be ready for them and share with you. If you want me to kind of a personal experience with this, please.

Yes.

So last year, 2016. Well, actually by the time. I guess that'll be by the time it's broadcast. A year and a Half ago in 2016, I often referred to 2016 as my year of rejection. Finally, I had a really good friend of mine reframe that and said, can we call it the year of not yets instead of the year of rejection? Which was very powerful to me because in that year, I had applied to eight TEDx events, none of which I was selected for. In hindsight, looking back now, a year, year and a half later, you know what, Jenny? It's a good thing I wasn't chosen because I wasn't ready. I was ready from the perspective that I had a talk, I had a message, I did the applications. But honestly, my personal life was in shambles. I was in a relationship with somebody who is really tumultuous. There is a 99% chance that had I been selected to be to that TEDx talk, I would have walked on stage grinning and baring it through my teeth through a fake smile because some disaster was going on in my personal life, which is what happened continuously over the six years of the relationship. So in hindsight I can say, you know, I wasn't ready. I thought I was ready. I had the strategies in place, I had the applications in, I had the talk down. But something else, some other force, universe, God, whatever one wants to call it, knew I wasn't ready. So the internal readiness wasn't there. And I'm actually grateful now that it didn't happen because now I've sorted all that out and now I am ready. I've just stepped out in the game again and started to apply to TEDx talks and coming from a very different place now. So now I feel like I'm ready and I think I will be honored and accepted as a speaker because I think hopefully universe responds and say, yeah.

He'S ready now, 100%. What a fascinating story. Thank you for sharing that. And I know what you mean. I've had years where I was going through this just horrible like ending of a relationship. I don't know why I couldn't get over it. And I'd show up to a keynote speech in front of hundreds of people, puffy eyed. I'd been crying all day. I just, it was all I could do just to get it together. 30 minutes prior that's not what you want. That's not what you want for your TEDx. And I can know, I know, Jeffrey, I know this is happening for you and that you'll look back and you'll think, wow, that was the perfect TEDx. Like that was the perfect one that chose me at the perfect time.

Yeah, I think so. I think so.

On the subject of receiving, one thing you say is prosperity is not something we achieve, it's something we receive. How does that relate to this conversation and even the reciprocal communication piece?

Well, because it is all about receiving, you know, and often people, people often jump to the conclusion right away that, oh, you know, I'm more than ready to receive success, I'm more than ready to bring it on. Right, Throw all the money at me you want. And I'm like, really? So when's the time you welcomed a compliment? Just start with that. How often do people brush off? We have a hard time receiving compliments. So receiving is actually, I find it maybe I don't think it's just me, but I think for a lot of us receiving is just really hard. Whether it's receiving a compliment, receiving the recognition that we deserve for our work.

I find it inherently difficult to receive and it can therefore be a block to getting what you want. So I think a lot of practice has to come in, and that's again, why I believe a lot in daily practices, because I think they open you up, they convince you, if you will, by means of affirmations or other practices. They retrain the brain so that you believe it too. And as a business coach, I've been seeing this for years. I actually break out what I call four stages of personal development. The third stage being when I see people grow, and I've seen it myself, but as people grow, there's a period of time when the world around us sees our growth quicker than we do. So there's a period of time. Right. People will point out to you how you've grown, you've changed what you're achieving, and we can't see it in ourselves. And it's a critical point and a point that really needs support because without it, you're too likely to retreat and go back to what you expect of yourself.

What are the other stages of personal growth in this four stage model? You know, I love this, by the way. You have so many great frameworks.

So the first stage is living up to what I'm capable of and just settling there. Okay. Second stage, which is where the stage that everybody's at when they come to me for coaching is, I believe I'm capable of more. I just don't know how to get there yet. Right. So there's just this. I call it the inkling stage. The second stage is just this sense that I know I'm capable of more. I don't know what it is. I don't know how to get there. I just feel it.

Yes. I call that like the whispers. Whisper in your gut.

Like, hey, yeah, I like. You call whispers. I call it. I call it inkling. Kind of same way. It's like this inkling that I'm capable more. Yeah. And then the third is, as I said, that stage of the world can see more in us than we can see in ourselves. And then the fourth stage, which is where we're headed, is ownership. Ownership of I've got this. And again, phase three and four are so closely related because there's a point. When I was in leadership training, we went through an exercise called Responsibility for Impact. And when the concept was presented to us, I immediately thought negatively. I was like, oh, gosh, I'm going to have to take responsibility for the ways in which I can screw people up.

And what it turned out to be was a reflection exercise where the other 18 participants in the leadership program, we took turns feeding each other with the ways that we had made a positive impact in people's lives. And to sit there and hear feedback from 18 people on ways that I had positively impacted them, it forced you to take responsibility even if you couldn't imagine that you were so powerful. And that fourth stage is just ownership. It's like there are many times, and I'll bet you feel that way as a leader as well. There are many times like, I don't get it. I don't see how I'm that good. I don't see how I'm that impactful. But hey, if everybody else tell me I am, I'll own it and do it. Because if it's helping, I want to help.

Yes.

And you just go for it and you just own it.

Yeah. It's like, and for me, I just own it and keep moving. There's no need to dwell. It's not about ego. It's just like, okay, cool, I'm not getting in my own way by saying, oh, I'm not worthy. I'm not worthy. For the most part, of course, like I'm a human, you know, moment. I think another huge part of receiving. Yes. It's that being open to compliments to start. What a great way to practice and start. But also to me, receiving is so much about listening and receiving clues. So talking about this energetic co creation, to me being in a receiving mode is like I don't always know best or my ego doesn't know, or I can't know all the steps in advance. And so now I need to be in this very quiet receiving mode. And you talked about daily practices. I would love to hear what your practices are that help you get to that state.

Yeah. So, yeah. Well, it's funny, as you mentioned, you're talking about that one. You reminded me, you know, we overlooked the obvious. But I have a. I have a post it note that sits on my computer that is all about receiving. The post it note says there's more where that came from.

Oh.

Oh, I love that. And I just absorb that. Whether it's, you know, when someone pays me, I take a look at it. When someone gives me great advice, I look at it. And that note is a reminder to me there's more where that came from. Whatever I want to receive in abundance, there's more where that came from.

Okay, before you say your daily, because I have to build on that quote. One of my favorite songs is from a band called Naqo and Medicine for the People. Have you heard of them?

I have not you would love them.

First of all, how great is that band name? Like Medicine for the People. It's very spiritual, soulful music, but it's not religious. And there's this song, Dark as Night. And the whole lyric, the chorus is, I believe in the good things coming. And I even have a T shirt like, I'm not concert nerd. I got the T shirt that says, I believe in the good things coming. And I just think that that says it all there too. Like, there's more, as you said, there's more where that came from. I believe in the good things coming. And I'll link to this in the show notes, of course.

Okay. Because let's just put a pin in the daily habits. One more thing to address. I don't want to forget. I want us to discuss when surrendering and receiving. Sometimes people get the misimpression that it's passive somehow. So we can go whichever order you want. Daily rituals or that question.

Okay. So to me, they're so closely related, I think we're going to probably wind up talking about both at the same time. So actually, the first daily practice I'm going to share with you then fits into both your band quote and your question.

And it's, I'm throwing you a kitchen sink here.

It's awesome. It's what I call the what's going right journal.

This has been a life changer for me. And so the idea is this, that what's going right Journal is to, in a simple way, journal, write out a list of what's going right in your life on a daily basis. Human nature is such that as we all know, we can hear 10 compliments, one constructive criticism. And the only thing we're going to remember is the criticism.

We kind of hone in on that. So I think it's probably just inbred in us from survival to look for the danger. And what I have found with the what's Going right Journal is that it is both strategic and magical. So the way I do it. And again, I think everybody has to work out their own format. But I get up in the morning and I have a whole ritual in the morning and I make masala chai tea and boil the milk and the whole thing. And I read for about an hour and a half and then I will try attempt to list what's going right or what has gone right in the past day. And it is surprisingly difficult. I don't necessarily initially see a lot of things, but that's part. Part of the point, like to kind of force that. And then I take my dogs for like a 45 minute walk, and I integrate in that walk one of my other daily practices, which is affirmations. I call it my affirmation walk. To everybody else, it looks like I'm walking my dogs and saying hello to people, but in my own mind, I'm reciting an affirmation as I walk. And it's about 40 minutes, then I come back.

Is that a specific affirmation or is it different every time?

No, it's. I tend to stick with an affirmation for a period of time until I've exhausted believing that I need that affirmation.

Can you give us an example of a current one?

Sure. So my current affirmation is I am lovable and magnetic by the world.

Oh, I love it.

So, you know, because that's. I want to. Again, it's receiving, you know, I'm trying to believe that I am lovable and magnetic to the world. And it's interesting, actually, as you're reciting this in your head, it's almost as if, because I'm walking and walking in a park, it's as if people know you're reciting this. Because I feel like I get a lot more nods of heads and good.

Mornings and I'm like, your whole energy is like, you probably have a smile, even if it's a heart smile while imagining this.

Yeah. So it's like proof in motion. Like I'm reciting this affirmation and getting proof in motion. I love that. So it kind of really reaffirms it. And during that time, I suddenly start seeing a lot more of what's going right. So then I come back and then I will finish off my what's going right journal for that morning. Because it's on that walk, I said, oh, yeah, that's going right. Oh, yeah. The so and so connected me with this person that was awes. Oh, I got on Jenny Blake's podcast that's going right. I come back and so much more is available for me to see. So not only is it an inward practice, I will tell you, Jenny, it has absolutely created an inward flow. Because most of us have learned at some point in our lives, we get more of what we focus on. And as we focus on what's going right, what do you see? More of what's going right. And then it becomes hopefully the only thing you see. So to me, again, it's one of the ideal practices, that.

It'S strategic. And I will tell you that for me, it's more tangible, I should say, for me. I have always struggled with gratitude journals and I know they work for a lot of people. So this was sort of my spin on a gratitude journal, because gratitude journals, for one, I never stuck with them. And I just, if I woke up in the morning and I was breathing, I was grateful. So it was too broad for me and I didn't feel like it brought me tangible results or the what's going right journal for me has brought literal, tangible results and I get to see them on paper. And that's why it was so important for me to include this at the end of lingo. And I have to tell you, to be honest with you, I had to fight to include this in the book because my editor, who's fantastic and other professionals, thought that it was a little hard to integrate the self help section in the back of the book in what is really a business book.

I know exactly what you mean and I wanted to ask you about that. So keep going.

Yeah, I had to fight for that because it's not typically done. And I was like, I just don't want to be another business book. I want to give strategies and I want to help you. And if we're up to me, honestly, I would have done the book in reverse. I actually would have. Right. I would have loved. But you have to understand human nature. People want what they think they want first, which is what they want. They want to know how to make their business irresistible. So I needed to give them that. I needed to give them the strategies and then close the book by saying, okay, now that I've given you what you think you want, now I want to give you what I know. You need to unblock yourself so that everything you've learned in the book works. And you know, it was not an easy thing. It's almost as if you have a business strategy book and a self help book mixed in.

And making that connection was a little hard. But I actually think in the end, I think especially for my audience, which, like you, is very, you know, we're in business, but soulful in a soulful way. I think my audience is going to love it. I think very well, the self help section of the book may wind up being a favorite part of the book.

I can relate so much because I felt like I was sneaking in spiritual concepts into my career and business book. And I would, I would use a word, I would drop a word like surrender or flow or, you know, lean into the unknown, but I was not overtly putting it forward. And I knew for me, for pivot, okay, I want business and career. I did not want it to be in the self help category. I wanted to lead with business this time around. But I think about this all the time. You and I might need to create our own category. Because. Because for my next book, I am at fork in the road, where I feel very compelled to include my spiritual practices and tools. But it doesn't need to be a self help book. I love business. I love the practical nuts and bolts. And someone even remarked to me that she's got to clearly get on the Creative warriors podcast too. But she said, your podcast is so interesting to me because it's both spiritual and business and career related. And I'm not used to that. And I remember thinking, wow, am I muddying the waters? Like, is this a really weird thing to do? But I can't seem to leave out either side.

Yeah. And you know, we're right. Let's just get to the point.

But you make a great point. Like, why is it either? Or why is it business or self help? Because the secret to success is actually it's a blend of both. Jim Rohn had it right. You know, our level of success rarely exceeds our level of personal development. He had it right. And I actually, I need to do some research. I'm not sure when he said that, but why is it two sections? Why is it business or self? We do need to create a new category because actually it takes both.

Yes. One thing you say on the Creative warriors podcast page, you say the new Renaissance. It's a time when artists, coaches, designers, authors, speakers, and other purpose driven entrepreneurs will run profitable businesses, be highly respected for their talents, and free to express their work across a variety of mediums. I would love to hear more about this new renaissance and kind of why now and why now for Lingo, the book that you just put so much heart and soul into.

Gosh, I'm so glad you read that. I haven't read that. I think I put that there in 2014. So I haven't actually read that in a long time. So thanks for the reminder because it really.

I really cry because you're saying, like, we're all in this together and that these slash careers. You know, you said for you, the one thing they all have in common is being a witness. I just love how you take what seems like different jobs and bringing it all into this new renaissance.

Yeah, well, there's so much in that that speaks to just my gut, my absolute gut, and what I'm so passionate about.

Because I do, you know, it is our time. You know, as I said, if I was actually. Let me add. Sorry I'm stammering because it's always. It's a collision of so many. It's a collision of so many things. I'll tell you what started. Part of what started.

Inspired me to write Lingo is I was asked this crazy question on a podcast when I was being interviewed. Somebody asked me it was a business podcast and the host asked me what did I think the future of human evolution was. I have no idea where that. But what really shocked me is how quickly I came up with an answer because I just have been seeing this and feeling it in the world is that I feel like we're constantly heading towards a more energetic non verbal way of communicating. And, and as a business person, the way I've seen that have an effect is that I do feel like I get hired because people feel like I get them. I'm not, hey, you know what? I will never say I'm the best photographer. I don't know what that means. I don't know how anybody can say they're best at anything because the best is so subjective. But I am absolutely the best photographer for my clientele because I get them for no known reason. I didn't grow up like them. I mean, I served the affluent clientele, I grew up lower middle class. But I get them them because we have very shared values. So the new renaissance, to me it's a movement and it's actually statistically true too. By 2030, 60% of the American economy will be run by freelancers, independents, entrepreneurs. 60%. So this is a movement. And I actually think it is our time. Those of us that are in business creating something, transforming the world. And I believe the world wants and requires from us a much deeper understanding in order for them to give us their business, their hard earned money. They are going to demand and insist that we know more about them than demographics, Personas and avatars. That's why I wrote lingo. That's why I wrote lingo. And that's what I realized why I was successful in business is because I went beyond that. I didn't statistically know my target audience. I took it upon myself to understand what I refer to as their secret language. I understood, I took it upon myself to understand how the world looked like from that, from their perspective because I didn't know it. I didn't grow up affluent. I took it upon myself to understand what felt familiar to them, what style they resonated with what pricing psychology worked for them and what words were going to resonate for them. For them to know that, hey, I get who you are. That's how we carve out our ideal customers. Which is the goal of the book. The goal of the book flat out is for businesses to only work with their ideal customers. I refer to in the book as busting up the Pareto principle, the 8020 rule. Because as small businesses today, we can't afford for 8 out of 10 of our clients to not pay off. We just can't. It takes too much effort and money to even get people's attention. So to me, lingo is a step beyond. It's a step towards that. Which is ironic to me because the lingo implies speaking and yet it's actually about the unspoken energy of what it takes to communicate with somebody on a deep, intimate level so that somebody wants to do business with you. That I do think is the new renaissance. And I think that is an open door for people that are in business in a purposeful, soulful way.

Oh my gosh, it's so much good stuff in there. And for those of you listening, Jeffrey just like very sneakily gave his five step formula. Not sneakily, but let's say succinctly. It was all jam packed in there. Which is what lingo talks about, this five step secret language strategy. I think sometimes people, at least the entrepreneurs and solopreneurs I work with in my momentum community, sometimes there's a fear of segmenting two specifically among clients and maybe diving into this one that seems very specific. What's your take on that? And I know Pam Slim calls this, which is a great phrase, she says it's okay to have a niche that's an inch wide and a mile deep.

Wow.

What are your thoughts, let's say for you within the affluence market, have you also segmented much further as far as who your ideal photography clients are?

Actually what you're referring to again is also in the book, it's what I refer to as the new niche. This has been one of the things that I have been most passionately.

Fighting against and I think a lot of creatives and business can relate to this is that I just can't niche down to serving one target audience, doing one thing. I just can't. It breaks my soul.

And I fought with that because here I was a well known photographer for 25 years when I got this inkling, this itching to be a business coach. So I started coaching and coaching photographers initially and then Coaching other people, but keeping it a secret, like my photography clients would think I was moonlighting on them or having an affair if they found out. So keeping it very separate and keeping it secret and feeling really torn apart and collapsing under that idea that I was destined to be a failure because I wasn't following the rule. I wasn't following the rule to only be good at one thing. I was breaking the rule and abiding by. The most insulting phrase out there to me is, you're a jack of all trades and master of none. I had such a fear that I was becoming that, and yet I just couldn't stop myself. So what I did is I dug deeper to determine, as you mentioned, that what's in common in all these things and what's in common in everything that I do is this role of a witness. I felt that way as a photographer. I feel that way as a speaker. I feel that way as a coach, where I can facilitate the event by which other people can have transformative moments in their lives. And my participation is impact, but I don't own the transformation.

So to me, this idea of the new niche is for the first time, it's an expansive mindset that when you can determine what your area of authority is, you can suddenly realize there are a lot more people that can be served by that area of expertise.

I love that phrase of inch wide, mile deep.

Yeah, exactly right.

Because that's just it. It's like you're narrowing down to determine what your area of expertise is. For example, my area of expertise is what I refer to as uncommon entrepreneurs. I don't think I could sell anything common. I probably would not be a very good coach for a grocery store, but. But, hey, give me something that seems like it's a hard thing to market in the world and that excites me. So that's my area of expertise. But once I dug deep and got there, that. That's my area of expertise, I realized, wow, there's a lot of different types of people that need that help, which is why now, where I started coaching photographers, which made sense. Now I can coach podcasters and other coaches and designers and event planners and speakers and authors. I can coach because there's a commonality that they all share.

Don't you think, too? As you're talking, it occurs to me that so much of, let's call it the customer matching process, because it's not even acquisitions, like such an icky term, you know, like, let me acquire you. Let's say matching. It's now Happening on this nonverbal. We could even say spiritual level, where just by having a podcast, like, there are a thousand cues in one episode of you talking with a guest that your listeners are picking up on. And you might not even know what they are, but they're sort of attracting people on a level that goes deeper than words, because it's just. I don't know, it's like the chemistry of matching seems to be shifting because there is so much choice, and people are probably going to be going for a more visceral feeling, just, oh, I resonate. And we might not even know why.

Absolutely. That's 100%. 100%. That's why I wrote the book. You know, it is the this. And again, I think this is just the way I've been in business so long. I can say, Jenny, that whatever is true, the opposite is true. So, yes, it is true that in a lot of ways, it seems like the world is getting more impersonal and automated and robotic. And while that is true, the opposite becomes true, which is people want deeper personal interrelationships. So while one becomes true, and if you're not in the business of robotics and automation, then the opposite is true, which is. Then to stand out, you have to be better and better at connecting deeply on a human basis than everyone else.

Yes. Which ultimately means better at being yourself, who you really are.

Yes. Yeah. And isn't that a journey that we all go through all the time?

Yeah. Lifelong. One thing you say at the end in the mindset chapter, you say, do you believe that there are forces working on your behalf and that this is something we should ask ourselves? I 100% believe this. But every now and then, you know, you'll bump into, like, an atheist type person that's just like, ugh. It's so Pollyanna to believe that the universe is some benevolent force working on your behalf. But what's your take? And have you ever had to respond to those.

Call them critics, but just people who think like, no, it's just a cold, hard world and shit happens.

I kind of am one of those critics. I mean, that's why I asked. That's why I posed the question. Like, this is fundamentally. Turned out to be one of the biggest questions I've ever had to ask myself, and one that I still struggle with because it really speaks deep to the heart of my entrepreneurship. When I said I've been an entrepreneur since the age of 14, I sold eggs door to door because I lived in the country and I was charging $1.25 a dozen, which, hey, in 19, let me see, I was 14. So 1978, that was a good price for a dozen eggs, right? So I just have always had this feeling that if I want something done, I have to do it myself. And it's so ingrained in, I think, a lot of us as entrepreneurs that when I pose that question for people asking us, do you believe there are forces working on your behalf? A lot of people automatically say, oh, yeah, yeah, I believe that. And then I'll say, but do you live it? And then they start looking at their other attitudes, such as, if I want something done, I have to do it myself. You know, nothing's going to happen. Nothing's going to happen unless I do all the work that fundamentally is telling you, then you don't truly believe there are forces working on your behalf. It speaks also to what we were saying before about readiness.

I've had to surrender to believing there are forces working on my behalf because as much as I was that critic, that can't be true. It's all up to me. I've had to surrender to the fact that it's true because I've seen so much evidence of it. I've seen evidence of it in not getting what I thought I was ready for before. I've seen evidence of it in synchronicity, like these wild. Like, there's no way that's just a coincidence. You know, I've seen too much evidence that it just isn't all up to us. And when I was doing research for Lingo.

You know, I. I started looking at kind of the bigger picture and realizing that.

If we just keep pushing the envelope on ourselves, there's this nature of expectations. Let me put it to you this way. I started really looking at the absolute core definition of expectation and realizing that expectation inherently is a predetermined outcome.

Just by definition. So if we want to accomplish things that are bigger than ourselves, bigger than what we expect we're capable of, we have to believe in something bigger than ourselves because it's beyond our predetermined.

Goal that we think we're capable of.

I love that. Have you ever heard the saying, expectations are resentments in waiting?

Oh, no. Ooh, I'm gonna have to sit on that one.

Yes, sit with it. That was a game changer, especially as it relates to other people. It's just like, if you're gonna start placing expectations on things, people, outcomes comes, get ready. Because it's kind of like the. The only way that can go is pretty much to become a resentment or a disappointment. It just, it doesn't serve us. And, and I think expectations are different than soul goals. Like, like you said, I think goals have evolved because just the cold, hard goals word just annoys me. Tosha Silver calls it a grocery list for God. Like God, this year I want a house and a car and a this and that, you know, but soul go. Okay. We feel called to something and we feel called to a bigger something bigger than us, like you said, or just some kind of fun, delightful way to expand in our business or in our life. But then it's got to be held loosely and to not have expectations on how or when it unfolds and to be open to surprise.

I love that you just referred to it as held loosely. And isn't there. There's a quote that says something about you can't. A clenched fist can't receive. Oh, yeah, something like that.

Circle back to receiving.

Exactly.

Oh my gosh. I was, I. Isn't it fascinating too, this growth journey of blind spots? I've become very interested in this. I realized, I thought I was becoming so much more flowy about money. And I believe money is energy. And it's energy. That's it. It's a very fun game. If you want to learn about your beliefs, look at how you think about money and how you treat it and how you give and receive it. And I realized that although I thought I was living with a very like money as energy flowy mindset more and more, because entrepreneurship teaches that more than almost anything else. But there were some areas where I was still clenching it, like I was still squeezing it from a place of scarcity. And I just have that visual that you just gave of the clenched hands. So it's like, in what areas of your life or business are you just like clenching it? Like, no, you're not going anywhere. And we constrict the flow when we do that.

Yeah. And I think the term loosely, the way we hold our goals loosely is really important because again, you and I are strategists. We're hard workers, as I'm sure your listeners are. We go for what we want, but there's a way of doing it that it's loosely held. A story I tell in the book that I'll share real quickly was my yoga teacher. You're a practitioner of yoga as well? I study Iyengar yoga and worked with with probably one of most well known teachers, Mary Dunn. And Mary was struck with a very rare and aggressive form of cancer. And unfortunately from diagnosis, she passed within three months. And during that time, remarkably, she would occasionally be able to show up to teach class. And one time after class I had a quiet moment with her. Everybody else had left and we were packing up the equipment and I had said to her, so Mary, how are you really doing? It's one thing for her to show up and a scarf on her head and be the teacher, but how are you really doing? And she said, said I'm learning to walk towards life without being attached to the outcome and that I have held so powerfully when it comes to goals. I do work hard towards what I want, but try to not have this sense of attachment to the outcome, surrendering to the idea that there are forces working on our behalf and if that whatever I seek doesn't show up, it's probably because I'm not ready that I haven't raised my level of personal development yet to receive that success.

So beautifully said. 33 years in business is epic. And you've shared so many nuggets of.

Wisdom, especially at 28 years old. Isn't it remarkable?

Hell yes. Yes. Did we miss any? What is like a number one business nugget that you've learned in these 33 years of self employment that you can share?

You know, it's so honestly, it's everything we talked about. The number one thing is realizing that it is. You know the tagline for Creative warriors podcast is it's business with a story soul.

I love that.

That's what it is. I mean that is the number one thing. It's like it is not just hard work and strategy, nor is it the Secret and just manifesting. And I actually had an opportunity to interview Bob Proctor and he has a lot of problems with the movie the Secret in hindsight because it's not just manifesting and just wishing for what you want. And it's also not just all hard work, it really is both. It is that magical formula of, of working really hard, being a big dreamer, a big goal setter and holding it loosely and growing from inside.

First you've talked about magic, big goals, big dreams, serendipity, all these wonderful, wonderful magneticism. What are you most excited about in 2018?

I am fearful and excited about to see where lingo is going to go and not just as a book, but as a platform. This is the most open hearted thing I have ever done, which of course also makes it the scariest.

This is the story lingo and it starts with the story at 23 years old and how I changed my life Because I had a photography business that was failing for three years.

I had an aha moment and realized what I needed to do. And the book starts off with the story of me going to Bergdorf Goodman on fifth Avenue in New York City and one afternoon literally changing my life. That was at 23 years of old. Thirty years later, to be honest, Jenny, I wrote a whole other book in 2016. I spent nearly a year writing a book. It was in fact a self help book, which I finally surrendered to realizing it wasn't the right first book for me to put out. It wasn't going to help me with the platform. It was in a brief conversation with someone who is now the editor of Lingo, who's a stellar editor. I had some time with her and it was in a brief conversation with her, I told her the story of my visit to Bergdorf Goodman and she sat back and said, that's the book you need to write. Every lesson you learn from that, that's the book you need to write. This is my truth. This book is, like I said, it is the most soulful. It's the clearest message I have ever had. After all these years in business. You know how challenging that is, right? It's like we dance around our core message for so, so long. This is it for me. And I'm. Like I said, I'm. What I'm most excited about is to see where the idea of Lingo goes, how far it will reach that people will understand. Succeed in business takes more than buyer Personas and avatars. It takes a soulful connection. I'm really excited to see how far this goes and what impact I can have on the future of entrepreneurship.

And there's nothing like a book, I call it Serendipity Popcorn. It's like you have no clue what's going to pop. It's just all of a sudden, once your ideas and your truth is out there to the world, it's so exciting, especially for someone with your mindset that's just like, pop, pop, pop. You have no clue what's going to come in.

I love that popcorn metaphor. And I eat of lot A. Yeah.

Or it's like a serendipity lottery ticket. It's like you just have no clue what comes when you scratch off the thing from launching Jeffrey as we wrap up, which. Oh, man. We clearly have more of these conversations in our future.

Excellent.

Especially if we're going to create a whole new book category. But what is one piece of homework that you would encourage all listeners to do when they stop listening to this episode.

Determine who your ideal customer is. It is fundamentally, I mean, it's the goal of lingo and it's fundamentally one of the first questions I get. Well, I don't know who my ideal customer is. You know what your ideal customer, it actually has a tremendous amount to do with who you are. One of the classic questions in marketing, I know I've been asked a lot of times is whom are you for? Usually when that's been asked, the person asking it is looking for me to define my audience. What I realized is that we need to reverse that. Actually, the way that question should be answered is whom are you for you? What are your values? What way can you serve best? You have to stop and do a self study first in order to determine who would love that. What are your innate characters? What are your skill sets? What's your talents? How can you serve? And who would love that? That's how you define who your ideal customer is.

I love it. I love it. It's brilliant. And it's so true that it just kind of starts with who we are. Not kind of, it does. Jeffrey, where can people keep in touch? Where can they listen to your show and everybody go get a copy of Jeff's new book Lingo. Discover your ideal customer's secret language and make your business irresistible. Tell us where they can keep in touch.

So we've put together a nice little gift for your listeners called the Lingo Media Kit. Really excited about this. They can get it@jeffreyshaw.com pivot and in that Lingo Media Kit there is a secret language infographic which nicely visually lays out the five step process of understanding and building the secret language of your ideal customers. It includes the classic free chapter, but it also includes a non typical audio version of the free chapter. You know, I being podcasters, I really want to kick this up. So this free audio version has sound effects and I tell more intimate parts of stories that I don't say in the book. So the audio version is actually really fun. So again, they can get the Lingo media kit@jeffreyshaw.com pivot Amazing, Jeffrey, thank you.

So much and I'm wishing you well with the launch.

Thank you so much. I really appreciate your friendship and your connection and the opportunity to speak to your listeners.

Likewise, I had so much more to follow.

Thanks so much for listening to this episode of the Pivot podcast. Make sure you don't miss an episode or my insider tips and templates by signing up for Pivot List, a curated twice monthly newsletter where I share the inside scoop on what I'm reading, watching, listening, listening to, and the latest tools I'm geeking out on. Sign up@pivotmethod.com pivotlist get show notes from this episode@pivotmethod.com podcast and connect with me on Twitter ennyblake.

Remember, build first, then your courage will follow. Hasn't it always.