174: Having The Best Energy & Mindset When Selling with Jimmie Blake - #GrowYourLife

Hey, everyone. Thanks for listening to the Grow youw Life podcast. My name is Jared Mike Gracowski, and if we haven't met yet, I help coaches, trainers, mentors, authors, speakers, people that want to grow their business on the Internet, live a better life, make more money, and have the business they've always dreamed of. Now, today, I have a guest of mine, a coaching client of mine that I've known for years. Her name is Jimmy Blake, and she helps people live a life with more joy, hope, and confidence by helping them find their voice, discover who they are, and build stronger, more authentic relationships. She helps people discover what's holding them back, what's stressing them out, what's laying them flat out so that they can move forward and get unstuck. And I don't know about you, but I could use some of that in my life. I'm sure you could as well. Welcome, Jimmy, to the podcast. How are you doing today?

I'm doing great today, Jeremiah. It's truly an honor to be on your podcast because you have helped me in so many ways figure out ways to become unstuck myself.

That's awesome. Well, I'm excited that you are here. Let me ask you this just a little bit. What got you into doing what you do? What got you to where you are right now in this journey? You are a coach as well. And, yeah, you're somebody that helps these people with this, but, like, what got you here? It takes a journey to get you to where you are today.

It does. I've been a people pleaser and a people helper ever since I was big enough to walk.

Me too.

And so a friend of mine said this to me a few years ago. He said, if you don't heal what hurts you, you're going to bleed all over others.

That's right.

And a good friend of mine said, hey, Jimmy, not all help is help. And so that really got me curious because I was running around juggling a whole bunch of balls, helping as many people as I thought I could. And really what I was doing was I was trying to help out of my own brokenness and my own need to feel valued and validated. And I kept finding myself stuck in the same pattern. I would be in a different situation, but it was the same exact scenario. And I'm like, why do I keep ending up in the same scenario? So I had to get curious.

Wow.

Could you talk a little bit about maybe one of those patterns that you were in? Because I think people could relate to that a little bit. And it Helps kind of bridge that gap to what we are going to be talking about today for them. Without going into any details you don't want to share.

Okay.

Share whatever you feel comfortable with.

Yeah. I would find myself saying yes to everything. Hey, Jimmy, can you help with this? Yes, absolutely. I can help with that. Boy, I had so many jobs that I didn't even have time to sleep. You know, burned out, found myself stressed out, irritable, and then I can't even show up for those that are the most important in my life. My own family.

Wow.

Or even my own self. You know, what do I need? What does Jimmy need?

Yes.

And so I am a riding instructor and I work with horses. And this huge epiphany hit me one day when I'm walking across the arena because they're like, hey, Jimmy, can you do this? Yes. Can you do this? Yes. So I literally found myself going from one program to the other without even having time for a break to go use the bathroom, get a drink, get some food.

Wow.

And one of my co workers said something that kind of offended me, but it was very eye opening.

Usually happens.

Okay, and this is a question he said. He said, hey, Jimmy. And I didn't have time to stop, and I turned and looked and I said, yes, what do you need? He said, stop being so agreeable to everyone.

There you go.

That's it.

Okay. So that comes out of our own need for validation. Like, you're trying to make yourself feel like. Like you're. You're. You know, you're trying to earn people's love. The good girl, she says yes. She's gonna do whatever she can.

Wow.

You know, I would bet that there's a lot of people I. I know for a fact that follow me that listen to this podcast, and I hope that they listen through to the end of this that have experienced this. I. I talk with a lot of them on my social media, and here's what I hear often. And maybe you could have some wisdom for those people. I'd love to. Here's why I love this podcast. I love that if somebody's on my social media and they're like, jeremiah, I'm dealing with this issue. I can have a podcast episode I can direct them to that deals with that exact issue. And so I had a lot of mostly women on my podcast. They're just like, man, I don't want to be rude, and I have so many obligations and people rely on me so much that I don't think I could ever do what I desire. To do in life because that's how I've always lived. And I don't want to be aggressive and say no to people. And I hear that and, and in my mind I'm like, I want to like, go into coach mode and be like, you're going to just have to get over it. But I think that as somebody who's walked through it yourself, maybe you have a little bit of a softer way of putting it that might be able to help them.

So I want to, I want to start with something I wrote down here.

Perfect.

Before I can fully connect to others, I have to understand my own spiritual, emotional, and physical needs. And so what I find in life is a lot of us, especially those of us that are helpers, we have learned how to ignore. What do I need?

Right.

Maybe I need to just take five minutes and go to the bathroom. But if I think you need me that bad, I will hold off my need. Maybe I need to take a 10 minute walk and go clear my mind and get a drink of water and just have a quiet moment to myself. But if I think you need me right now and maybe you are going to walk away from me, then I am going to put that need down. And when I keep suppressing those needs, I am going to find myself in a place to where I can no longer suppress them. Yeah, I'm gonna be burnout, angry, anxious, sick.

Yep.

That I lived my life that way for a long time to where like I wouldn't, I wouldn't go to the bathroom and things like that. I had, I had read about complex PTSD and it's actually, that's one of the symptoms, specifically the bathroom anxiety of if neglecting to go to the bathroom. They have found, and this isn't a diagnosis, but it's a, it's a symptom to maybe even talk to a therapist or something. If you find yourself frequently, like just not doing the basic needs of going to the bathroom because you're helping other people, that can point to some severe complex ptsd, post traumatic stress disorder from abuse that we've, that we've dealt with. And so how does somebody heal in that type of a situation?

For me, Jeremiah started with my horses.

Yeah.

Okay. So my horses helped me start to heal. Because a horse, they're congruent. And what I mean by that is their outside energy matches their inside energy. They don't wear a mask. They're congruent at all times. They're going to do what they need to do to keep themselves safe.

Yeah.

Okay. People, we can wear masks. And so I started to get curious, because with our mustang, my husband could go out and do certain things with him, and I couldn't. And I was doing the same thing, and I'm like, what is going on? He's, like, all over the place, dancing around is. He's snorting, you know, because I'm all smiley on the outside, and I'm like, hey, I just want to fly spray you. But on the inside, I'm like, what if I do it wrong? What if I mess him up? What if I don't do it exactly right? Or am I holding the rope too tight? Am I holding. And so I'm having all of this happening, anxious thoughts. And so my inside energy wasn't matching my outside energy. So he couldn't trust me.

Yeah.

And so what I had to do was I started with a very simple exercise, and that was learning how to breathe. Wow, Jimmy, that sounds crazy. We all know how to breathe.

Well, maybe not.

No. As a writing instructor, you can watch the horse and you can tell what your students doing, and when they get nervous, they tense up. And the first thing is, start holding your breath.

That's right. I find myself doing that all the time still. My wife's like, you're not breathing.

And so what I started doing was I just started practicing this little thing that worked for me, like, and I just started doing it every morning when I got up, I would just set a little timer, and I'm like, I'm going to breathe into the count of four. I'm going to hold it to four, and I'm going to breathe out to the count of six. And when I started practicing my morning time, when I would get in a place like working with a horse, I'd be like, oh, I'm just going to stop and breathe. And what that does is that brings inner peace to the inside. And so then I would just get in tune with my horse, and he would tell me when I wasn't in the present moment, because horses live in the present moment.

Wow.

And then what I started doing with horses, I started seeing in my everyday life, it started spilling over.

That's true. I love that. That is so cool.

And that is how I started working and coaching with others and finding that I could bring solutions that were helping people and not making them dependent upon me.

Wow.

What is that type of therapy called with the horses that you. That you talked about, that you do?

What is it called?

Yeah.

Is there like. Like a. Like something that people could look up or.

Yes. So it's like equine assisted learning.

Equine assisted learning. Awesome. Yeah. I knew there was, like, a term for it.

There is a term. It's equine assisted learning.

Wow.

And so when we work with horses, here's the beauty of it. And so I actually love working with people. It works so great with someone who knows nothing about a horse, because if I find someone that knows a lot about a horse trying to apply horsemanship.

Yeah.

I'm not saying that we shouldn't learn how to become good horsemen, but equine assisted learning is not about horsemanship techniques. I'm gonna. I'm going to teach someone things they need to do to keep themselves safe, and I'm going to watch the horse and the person. But when you're working with a horse, you could actually be putting the halter on upside down, and the horse is perfectly fine with it. As long as you're congruent.

Yeah.

That's so interesting. You got me thinking, too. In just situations in my own life, people. People can be like those horses sometimes. My wife, who tends to be very. Like you said, like your husband, tends to be very even keel. And she can meet the same person who has a completely different reaction than they do with me if I feel intimidated by that person. And it's a completely different environment type of a thing. And it's kind of like with a horse. And I found. About a year ago, we were doing some work with a. With a billionaire and some stuff, and I felt very intimidated talking with him.

And.

And I had to talk with my therapist about it. I'm like, what is going on? And finally, I've worked through that, and now I have a lot more confidence in those situations. I found myself in a safe way. I used to do it in an unsafe way. Here's just kind of a story off of this. Unsafely. I used to put myself in situations with unsafe people by myself to try to work through my issues, and I ended up getting hurt by them. I think some people do that in a familiar way, like if they grew up in a family environment that was unsafe or things like that. But what I found was if I could strategically just have a little bit of time with somebody that I felt unsafe with and then monitor just the one emotion that I felt and then talk with my therapist about that one emotion, we were able to work through the issues that piece by piece instead of me going at it on my own. And so there's. It's so interesting how human emotion, how we react, whether it Be with horses or with. With people is. It's incredible that we can work through and that we can. We can grow in that way.

I find it so interesting that you gave that example.

Yeah.

Okay, so I want to. I want to talk to two things.

Yeah.

Okay. With that. And I know we're doing a podcast, but do you post this live anywhere, like, where some people can watch the video?

Yeah, the video will be up.

Yeah.

Okay, so I'm gonna go to the first one. I'm gonna just do a cool little thing here. Okay. So what do you describe what you see? I just put something on.

Jeremiah, you have sunglasses on with green tape over the lenses, and they're crisscross pattern over. There's a smaller tape above and below, like a division symbol, but it's cockeyed, crooked, diagonally.

Okay. So I do this with people a lot, especially in groups. And so I just did a women's event. I had 20 women. So 20 women have on glasses with duct tape on the front in all different patterns.

Okay.

This is a perception thing.

Okay.

Because we all perceive things a little differently based upon the way we grew up.

Yeah.

How we process things. Okay. And even though we're doing this podcast and we are talking, not everyone may have the perception that I'm even intending to send out because we have different meanings of words or because of life experiences.

Right, Right.

And so the most hilarious thing about this is when I was talking to the women, I was standing in front of a woman, and her glasses had so much tape on them, even though I was right in front of her, she could not sense them. I was talking to her.

Oh, really?

Yes. And so the whole place erupted in laughter. Okay. And so this is why talking things through with people is so important, to gain someone else's understanding, and it's trying to be able to see things from someone else's perspective.

Yeah.

And so I love what you were talking about. I'm going to go back to about how you kind of put yourself with the unsafe person and you were trying to identify an emotion, and then you talked it through with your therapist. Okay.

Which is a safe thing to do.

It is a very safe thing to do.

Yeah.

And I do encourage people because I have people all the time that asked me. You know, people a lot of times call me their therapist, and I'm like, I'm not a licensed therapist.

Right.

Yeah.

And I am for. If you need a licensed therapist, you know, I can help you find one. I can recommend one. I can recommend some resources.

Yeah. Yeah.

But Also, one way that I can help people is to put them in a round pen with a horse. I had an incident where I was actually working with a group of ladies, and I would put them in the round pen one at a time. And the lady did not feel safe being in there with the horse. But I knew that if I could get her to stay in there and stay connected with me, that I could set her up for success. Well, she started to run out of the pen, and I asked, can I. Could I ask permission? Can I come in with you? And she said yes. So I came in with her. Now, she still did the work, but just having me beside her gave her enough confidence to do the tasks. So she was in what she felt like was an unsafe situation. She wasn't actually in a physically unsafe situation. I want to clarify.

Right.

But mentally, she felt she was okay. And so I gave her a task. She was able to complete it. And the look of joy on her face was so amazing. She came back the second day, and here's the beauty of it. She was able to do the task by herself in the round pen.

Wow.

Okay. So what that did is that actually rewires your brain that she had the ability to be in a situation where she felt a little unsafe.

Yes.

She was able to keep herself safe.

Yeah.

Now I know that that rewired her brain, and she's going to carry that forever.

That's amazing.

And that's going to help her even in her actual therapy with her therapist.

And. And I do want to add, you know, if somebody is in a situation where they are legitimately unsafe, it's best to not be in that situation. What we're talking about, like, if it feels unsafe. But, you know, logically, it is. It's. It is a safe environment. Those are two different things.

Two completely different things. Absolutely.

Yeah.

Um, and I find a lot of times, as people I know, for a lot of. A lot of years, I didn't even know how to recognize, am I in a safe relationship?

Right. Me too.

That comes from awareness.

For me, it was friendships that I struggled with, friendships with a lot of. It was. It was friendships with other. Other men that I was projecting a lot of situations from when I was younger with my dad into situations and trying to get validation. And it was. There was a lot of issues growing up in the church that we grew up in. And I would. Kept replaying, trying to basically resolve my childhood with these toxic, legitimately unsafe relationships. I had, you know, I had one guy, multiple threats happen just two years ago. And that was right before I started working with my therapist, somebody that I had thought was a close friend of mine.

Wow.

And I was like, like out of nowhere, just these threats. I hadn't talked to him in six months and started receiving like, like. And he was like, yeah. I actually legitimately felt unsafe. I ended up having to speak to an attorney and. And figure out my options because it was like, this is not a good situation. And. And I thought this person was a close friend because I kept replaying and attracting the situations that I was from my childhood and teenage years. Let me. Let me ask you this. What have you seen in your life that when you've done this work yourself, how did this change things for you?

Well, there's a quote. The same little. The same level of thinking that created your problem won't solve your problem.

That's true.

Okay.

Yep.

So doing the work. I'm going to suggest a book. And you suggested it. Nicole. The book, La Pera.

Yep.

How to do the Work. And there's also a book by James Clear, Atomic Habits.

Those two books are incredible. We've had those referred on the podcast so many times.

Those two books. Listening to those two books, starting to become aware of coaching with you. There were several times coaching with you. I didn't even realize how I was presenting myself.

Right.

And so doing the work, learning how to get up, spend some quiet time, do some journaling, learn to do some breathing. Learning to recognize how I'm presenting myself, becoming attuned to my own feelings.

Yeah.

And then beginning to see it in the other relationships in my life. Now I haven't arrived. This isn't a place where, woo, you've arrived. You're there. This is a constant life work. And what I find is if I'm not learning and growing and working, I'm going backwards.

Yes.

And look at you today. Being able to talk about this with confidence and clarity and. And encouraging other people and having to set strong boundaries.

Jeremiah. So it doesn't mean that we can have empathy for where others are. Okay. And we can listen, but we don't have to give them a seat at our table.

Right?

Exactly.

Okay.

Yeah.

And we've got to learn new ways to work together.

Yes.

That doesn't mean that I have to do everything for everyone.

Mm.

And it doesn't mean that I have to keep doing the things I've. The way I've always done them now. It doesn't mean that I have to just come in strong and be like, rawr. You know, like, I worked My way into some of these patterns. And so now I have to gently have empathy for others who were in my closed circle and kind of undo some of the things to be able to set people up closest to me to live their best life. You know, sometimes we make people dependent upon ourselves.

Right.

We didn't mean to, but it's empowering to help them be able to do the things they need to do and set them up for success.

Mm.

Two things you said here. I want to maybe unpack this a little bit, and we'll go back to the question that I mentioned in the. In the beginning. You have to gently do it with yourself. It's an act of self care.

Yes.

That as somebody who is a pleaser and a helper, to be gentle with yourself on this journey.

That can be a really hard one.

Right.

That has been one of my hardest ones because me too, I have found that I'm so incredibly hard on myself.

Right.

And a lot of times we look at ourselves and we compare ourselves to someone else. And what I find is, I'll compare my worst to someone else's best.

Mm.

Or I'm comparing a skill set that I have to someone else's, and I don't have to compare that.

Yeah.

And so learning to be gentle on myself and saying, you know what? You really kind of messed up today. Really didn't realize how you're presenting yourself. You came off really hard or really strong or really, you didn't need to use the words. You did, but that's okay.

There you go.

Because you're learning.

Yeah.

And a lot of times this happened with my horses. I remember one day I was trying to do something with my mare, and I was getting really frustrated. I was getting really frustrated with her and myself. And I just had a total meltdown out in the pasture, and I'm just kind of. And then I just had to stop and breathe. And you know what? When I stopped and took some breaths and had a little pep talk with myself, she came right back over and she was like, hey, I am here. We can try this again. Like, she was willing to forgive me and come back into my circle.

Yeah.

When I just allowed myself to have my moment, cry my tears and be okay with where I was at the moment, then her and I could continue with what we were trying to do.

That's awesome.

It's. It's. It's a beautiful thing when we can get there.

Yeah.

I have a question for you.

Okay.

For those people that are saying, well, I just. I have all these Responsibilities. These people are depending on me. I have obligations. I have. And they always are saying yes to things. And if I don't say yes, who's gonna do it? And we make people dependent on us. This is, I think the. The. This is, like, the painful of the conversation.

Yeah.

And I would say if somebody's listening to this podcast still at this point, I think they're ready to hear this painful part of it is we have to give up the way that we have been hurting ourselves to care for other people.

That's a big one, Jeremiah. And I've done it for years. And what I find is we find ourselves at levels like you were able to do it with kind of a, you know, the closer you get to us, there's a close group, and then there's a farther group, and there's a farther group. Okay. So you start learning to do it with those who are more at a distance from you, if that makes sense. Okay. And it's hard when you first. So, for instance, two years ago, I got an opportunity to get a certification, and it was going to be totally paid for.

Yeah.

Okay. And when I kept praying about it, I kept hearing the Lord say, you don't need this, and I really want to say no. And I just spent some quiet time, and I kept hearing the same answer. And I had some people around me going, oh, that'd be crazy. It'd be a crazy opportunity to give up. And I was like, am I going to do this because it's the right thing for me, the right thing for my business, and it's where the Lord's leading me, or am I going to do this because I still am trying to please a certain set of people?

Yes.

And so I came back, and with gratitude, I said, I am thanking you so much for this opportunity. What a wonderful opportunity you have given me. But as I've prayed about it and thought about it, this is not for me to do for now.

Yeah.

Let me tell you what. That was hard. And I kind of felt some separation because some of those that were really close to me were all going through the certification.

Yeah.

And. But that was such a freeing moment.

Yeah.

Such a freeing moment. Okay. And now I'm going to talk about something that's even closer and more personal.

Yeah.

On June 13th was my husband's 60th birthday. We had a big. His daughter was coming over, and we were going to have this celebration, and I was having some internal pain, and I kept ignoring it. I'd ignored it for a few hours. I Just thought it was having some digestive upset. Okay. Pain went on for several hours, and it kept increasing, increasing, increasing. And so my husband picked up that something wasn't right with me. He said, jimmy, you're not getting any better. Something's wrong. And I'm like, oh, it's just. It's just. It'd be okay. He's like, no, call the doctor. I went to the doctor, and she listened and she said, jimmy, you have a hot appendix.

Oh, wow. Yeah.

And so. And I think you have an aneurysm in your belly.

Good that you listen to that.

I wasn't prepared for that, though.

Yeah.

Because those closest to me I've made super dependent upon me. I do so many things for them. Guess what? When they're rushing you into emergency surgery and you don't know what the outcome is going to be.

Yep.

So as I've been at home and having to go through a physical and emotional healing journey, I've had to step back and even for those closest to me. So I'm letting another barrier down, saying I'm having to go. I've made some of my closest inner circle, my family, so dependent upon me. What if I didn't come out of circumstances surgery that day?

Right.

I did. And I'm here today in this podcast, and I'm so thankful, and I have so much gratitude. But it shows me how we always have another level to grow.

And let me ask you a question on that. By you making others dependent on you, were you helping them or hindering them?

Hindering them.

Exactly. And yet a lot of people think that they're helping people by doing that bottle.

Help is help.

Yeah.

And there's a dopamine rush that we get from helping someone and becomes addictive. For years, I did not even understand that. And so helping someone felt good. Then I want to do it again. And I want to do it.

Yep.

But I kind of see it as the caterpillar becoming the butterfly. The caterpillar has to struggle. It has to go through that time, and it has to go through that pressure. Now, see, here's the thing. Without pressure, I'm not going to change.

That's true.

We have to have a certain amount of pressure. Now, that's the beauty of working with horses. Horses learn by applying pressure, but they learn from the release of it.

Wow.

Okay. And a lot of my clients, this is what they begin to see. Like, they're trying to get the horse to do something, and they're pressure, pressure, pressure. And there's been no release and the horse is, like, looking for the answer.

Pushing harder, trying to make it happen.

And what they find is the moment. They just let the release happen.

Yeah.

Just let it go.

I had a gentleman over one time. He's trying to get the horse to step in the hula hoop. And I said, just take a deep breath. He was not attached to the horse. The horse was walking around freely. I said, all I want you to do is think about the horse stepping into the. Hoo hoo. Guess what happened? The horse stepped into the hoop.

Wow.

And the. And then the God turns and looks at me, and he's bawling his eyes.

Yeah.

That's all it took for him to visualize it. Apologizing for crying for him to visualize it happening.

Yes.

That's so. That's so good.

My.

You know, my wife, whenever I went into this conversation with that billionaire that I was talking about, she told me, I need you to see yourself as a billionaire in the future. And you're talking to somebody respectfully, but that has. That is good enough to give advice to this person. And you imagine that the outcome is the best possible outcome. Yes, because our energy comes across then in that way, and it creates that versus. Oh, I'm expecting him to not think I'm good enough. I'm expecting him to. To do that. And I hear so often people are like, you know, well, I'm. What good am I? I was actually just speaking to a room of 100 songwriters yesterday.

Wow.

There was. And this one guy said, you know, well, why would anyone want to listen to me? I'm just a nobody. Big black man with a loud voice. Why would anybody care?

Oh, wow.

I said, as long as you think that that's all that you're gonna get, you got to find that inside yourself. And he came up to me afterwards, and he said, you know what, Jeremiah? Dress, I. You speak for an hour and a half, you gave me hope that I mattered and that. That if I'm just myself, people will love it. Because. Because he's like. Because I loved hearing you, and you were just yourself.

That's.

It's like. Like, that was amazing to hear that and see that transformation. And just a half hour of the. Of the conversation from the stage, that interaction with him in the audience was inspiring to me to hear.

That's powerful.

It's. It's amazing. But as people, we're such energetic creatures.

Yes.

Human beings are.

Yes.

We like the energy that comes across, even the energy that comes across on camera, like, there's an Energy that comes across between you and I right now.

Yes.

That we can feel even though we're not in the same location.

Exactly.

And with that, like, if. If people. Business owners specifically, let's just go right down to, bottom line, brass tacks. Their sales would increase simply by learning this emotional control of their energy when they go into a sales situation.

Yes, you're right.

Being confident and being happy and being joyful and expecting the sale, but accepting if they said no.

Exactly.

Yep.

Exactly. That's. That's exactly right. One of my clients said this, and I just want to. It was a beautiful moment because we'd been talking about relationships. What if I could build a relationship with me, myself and I. Yeah. She said. This client said if I could build a team with myself, with my heart, my mind, and my soul, that would be an amazing team and I could probably heal.

Yeah.

Person who said that is doing amazing things.

That's awesome.

Healing in all of the relationships in their life, able to keep themselves safe and move forward when they need to.

That's so good. What would you say to somebody who's listening to this right now? If you hear some noises? We got a cat crawling across the computer here while we're recording.

It's okay.

What would you say to somebody who. Who is in that. This situation? They. They're resonating with what we're talking about, and they're like, you know, I want to break free from this. Besides reading those books. You know what. What's some advice that you could give them, just in closing here, to start to live their life with more joy, more confidence, to help them find their voice, to help them discover what's holding them back so they can move forward. What would you say to that person?

Make yourself a priority.

Make yourself a priority.

Make yourself a priority. Get up earlier in the morning, even if it's only 10 minutes. Okay? And I want you to find a quiet place. If it's in your closet, if it's at your table, if it's on your back porch. Okay? Now, you can bring your phone, but don't look at your phone. Only use the timer on it.

Yeah.

And if you have 10 minutes, I want you to set a timer for 10 minutes. Okay? There's something that helped me in the beginning, and I would just try to sit for. For three minutes in silence. Three minutes. And it. And it would go like this. Then my brain would start going. I'd be like, oh, I'm supposed to be quiet. Okay. It's okay. It's okay, Jimmy. It's okay. It's okay. It's good. I'm just going to sit silent. I'd set a timer for three minutes. Now, when I first started this, I couldn't even for three minutes was a.

Challenge for me, right?

Because I'm like, oh, I got to do this, I got to do that. No, no, no. I'm just gonna be quiet. I'm gonna be quiet just for three minutes. And then I would set a timer for another three minutes. And I'll just practice breathing. And I would count to four. Literally. 1, 2, 3, 4. Hold it. 1, 2, 3, four. Breathe out. I would count between four and six. Okay. And then the last thing. So if you had 10 minutes. Now get a notebook and get your pen out. And I want you to journal for three to four minutes. And I don't want you to judge what you put on the paper. Anything that comes to your mind is free game.

Write it down.

Write it, write it, write it, write it. Now, if you don't want someone to see that, tear it up and throw it away. But don't judge. Don't go, I can't write that down. Let it flow out. I find it's like opening a sore and letting the. The stuff out. When I started that practice, it started helping me. Now, obviously, I like to spend time reading the Word, but I would do those things before I start reading the Word and spending time in worship. Yeah, it helped me get clear.

Totally. Me too.

And I wanna. I wanna read a quote by Christopher Robin.

Okay.

You are braver than you believe. You're stronger than you seem, and you're smarter than you think.

Wow.

That'S so good.

I love that.

This has been great. I think that this has been encouraging to a lot of people that are listening. Thank you so much for just sharing your heart here. Thank you so much for just sharing this with everybody.

You're welcome, Jeremiah. Thank you for what you do.

You're welcome. Where can people find more information about you?

They can find me on Facebook.

Okay.

At Ray of Hope Ranch with Buddy and Jimmy Blake.

Okay.

You can find me on our website@rayofhope ranch.com.

All right.

Rayofhoperanch.com if you go to Ray of Hope Ranch, you'll.

You'll be able to find us on Facebook. We have a link there.

So rayofhope ranch.com. awesome. Thank you so much. And listen, if. If this has helped you, if you've listened to this podcast episode and. And you're just like, man, I need to share this. A friend of Mine that said helped them. Please share it with somebody. Don't let this just, Just take it yourself, pass it on, and really practice some of the stuff that Jimmy's talked about here as well. I, I think if you don't have somebody that you can talk to about stuff, getting a therapist or finding somebody who's a safe person to bounce some stuff off of is so important. I, I keep saying this. We're not meant to be lone wolves in life.

Correct?

We're not meant to be. I hear so many people say this. Well, I'm a lone wolf. I'm a. I'm a ride or die with myself, and ain't nobody gonna help me succeed. And I'm just like, I haven't seen a change in you in six years either, because you're just spinning the same stories over. And, and I don't mean that to, like, judge people. It's like they're almost kind of blinded by that habit a little bit, and they need something to break that a little bit, but they're scared to because people have hurt them so often and people haven't been a safe place. And I totally get that. And that's why people live their life like that. Lone wolf type of thing. I know I did for. For a long time, and anytime I would make friends, they would always end up hurting me. And, and it took making some real friends and listening as well. My wife was like, hey, maybe those people aren't healthy for you to hang out with. Maybe this person is for me to really realize that. And I think that if you're listening to this podcast and you don't have that, make it an intentional part of your life to find some. To find some friends, to find some healthy friends. You know, there's a book by an author, her name is Jeannie or Jenny Allen. Jenny Allen. Two books. I love one's get out of your head. It's a great book. But her new book that she wrote this year, specifically after Covid, was Find your people building deep community in a lonely world. And it. She's a Christian author and she shares how to find people when people are scared. And that's exactly what the book is about, is that. And I think that it'll really bless some people listening to this as well, as well as the book by Nicole Lapera. And what was the other one that you had shared? What was the other book?

James Clear, Atomic habit.

James Clear, Atomic Habits.

Yeah.

How to do the work by Nicole Appara. Jenny Allen. Find your people and Atomic Habits by James clear, man. Those are, like, three books. Honestly, if you read those three books and your life doesn't change, I'm not. I'm not sure what's going to help you, because something inside of you is going to change by reading those books in a positive way.

Way.

And that's the other thing, too. Maybe listening to different stuff. Reading different stuff. If you. If all you listen to is Fox News.

Oh, exactly.

Like, that's all you're going to be thinking about. If all you're listening to is angry people in your community that are grumpy and angry and upset. Like, that's all you're gonna be thinking about. And so just changing where you put your focus. Listening to some healthy podcasts. There's over 180 episodes of this podcast following people like, like Jimmy Blake online, reading some of the books we recommended. Those are ways that will shift the way you think. And you'll notice changes in your life just by changing what you feed into your brain. So true. All right, thank you so much for being here.

Thanks, Jeremiah.

Grow your life, everybody, and we'll talk soon.

Have a good one.