181: Strengthening Your Mind & Body To Change Your Life & Business with Becki Siconolfi - #GrowYourLife

Hey, everyone. Thanks for listening to the Grow youw Life podcast. My name is Jared Mike Grosky, and if we haven't met yet, I help coaches, trainers, mentors, authors, speakers, scale their business, build their brand, and make more money using the Internet to do so. Now, today I have a guest, Becky Siconolfi. She is a functional nutritionist who works with professional men and women who want to optimize their bodies and become their best selves who also lose weight not as maybe the main goal, but as a side effect of working with her. So welcome to the podcast today, Becky.

Thank you. Thank you so much for having me.

So tell me a little bit about how you got into this and how long you've been doing this. And we particularly, we have a number of people that listen to the podcast that might even be doing what you're doing, and they want to glean from and learn from your journey.

Oh, yeah. And honestly, functional nutrition is a really expanding field in the industry. And more than ever, we need more people to kind of take their training to the next level and understand what it means to practice functional nutrition as opposed to just, you know, slashing people's calories right and left, increasing their activity, and then scratching their heads and, you know, wondering why nothing is working for people. So we really would love to see more people work on optimizing the body, and losing weight is a side effect. So if anyone's interested, this is definitely the route that you want to go, because it's not only you're going to get a better client result, but your clients are going to be thrilled with the result that they get to.

Yeah. How do you. How did you start doing that?

So. So we'll go backwards. And I went to Messiah College and graduated, you know, with a degree in exercise physiology, you know, and all that great stuff. And I started out as a personal trainer in the gym, you know, kind of like doing what everybody else did. And, you know, I would write these great workout programs for my clients and, you know, give them very sensible, you know, plans to follow. And I started to notice that in some cases, it would work really great at first, and then it would stop working. Or in like, the case of adults that were in, like, 30s, 40s, 50s, it wouldn't work at all. And I was scratching my head thinking, you know, what am I doing wrong? What could I be doing better? You know, maybe the client's not even being honest with me, you know, and things like that. And I realized that there was a lot more to it than just cutting calories out of somebody's daily intake and, you know, having them do more exercise there. You can't treat the body like a human calculator. You really have to treat it like a complex organism, which it is. So at that point I started scratching my head going, okay, why are, why are my best results with people in their 20s and not so much people in their 30s, 40s, 50s, and so on? Because at that point their bodies had started to create metabolic adaptation, they had maybe not the best digestion, their hormones had started to imbalance, and their stress levels had gone up and accumulated. When you're 20, everything's great. You've got great hormones, you have little stress, it's really easy to get a great result. But as you get older and exposed to all of these things, it becomes a little bit more complicated. So I started to realize this now. At the same time, I also started to have some kind of peculiar issues. And I started to notice some things were not quite right. And I went to see my doctor. So I'd had like hives. And of course the doctor sent me to a food, you know, allergist, had some tests run. I was on Zyrtec multiple times a day. And then that there were more symptoms that arose from that. So they wanted to refer me to a rheumatoid, you know, someone that treats rheumatoid arthritis. And I was like, I don't have that. I don't need to go to a rheumatologist. And then I was so upset. You know, in the course of one of these appointments, I started getting heart palpitations. And they're like, well, we don't do that. You need to go to a cardiologist now. And I'm like, this all started with hives, you know, like, this is just bizarre. So I gave up on that route and was like, I'm really done with everything that western medicine has to offer because this is just creating more issues for me and I don't feel any better. So I was working with my chiropractor one day and he ran a device over my body that measured inflammation. And he said, wow, your inflammation is off the charts. I need to refer you to my mother in law who practices naturopath medicine. You know, she's a naturopath. At this point I'm like, I will do anything. I am so tired of, you know, not getting anywhere. And at this point I had lost a lot of weight. So I was in like little girl size, you know, size 16 pants, which is like kind of concerning my body wasn't holding on to weight. I was weight training, I was eating protein, you know, all of that stuff. So there was something really wrong. And I went to see her, and she completely opened my eyes to how the body is more of a complex organism that you need to treat as a whole, instead of trying to section off different systems and trying to work with each system independent, because they really don't work that way. They don't work independently of each other. They all work together. So we did heavy metal cleanse. She fixed my gut. I had gut issues for a long time. I had been put on minocycline continuously while I was in high school for acne issues. And being on an antibiotic continuous really wrecks your gut. I didn't know any better, you know, and as it turned out, my, my. And if you look at my skin now, you would never guess, but, you know, if you had, like, a food intolerance that you don't know about, which I did, it can show up on the skin. So I cut out dairy, I cut out gluten, and lo and behold, my skin had, you know, healed up. And I'm thinking, this was so easy. Well, you know, relatively speaking, this is so much more logical than the other approach. And. And I was put through the wringer, only to be put on more medications, and things weren't working. And things started to escalate. And I forgot to add that at one point, I was showing signs of estrogen dominance, and I knew there was an issue because I had so much breast sensitivity that if somebody sat down on the couch next to me too hard, I'd be in extreme pain. I'm like, this is not normal. So I went to an endocrinologist. I had labs run. They were so unimpressed by my labs, they didn't even call me with a result. I had to call them and ask, hey, what was the outcome of my labs? Didn't call me. There was nothing. So all of these things together, like I said, led me to this naturopath doctor. I worked with her, and she mentored me for 12 years. And throughout the course of this whole journey, I said, you know what? I do not want anybody else to ever have to go through this. I want to make it my mission in life to make sure that clients that I work with from now on never have to go through any of this. I want to make sure that I can help them pinpoint these root causes and maximize their life, you know, and not just keep throwing band aids at Things, whether it's, you know, more cardio, less calories, you know, just take this random probiotic. Doesn't really, it doesn't really get at the root cause of things. So fast forward. And I was mentored by a functional medicine doctor for two years after that, which really expanded my, you know, my knowledge and understanding of things. And recently I've been working with the Kalish Institute, which is a functional medicine online university, and just continuing to increase my knowledge base, you know, and things like that. Because what we're really seeing coming out of this, this pandemic is that more people than ever are dealing with some degree of adrenal fatigue, which a lot of medical professionals don't like that term, but unfortunately it has the greatest, you know, greatest word recognition amongst most people. They know what that means. So essentially, people's stress systems have been pushed too far and they're not able to get through the day. They're exhausted, they're tired, they go to their doctor. Their doctor puts them on an antidepressant, which doesn't really do them any good, or an anti anxiety. They get worse. And as it turns out, they're just suffering from deficiencies. They're suffering from, you know, nutritional deficiencies. They've been under a prolonged stress response. So their body starts to break down. And we're going to be seeing this in epidemic levels if we haven't already. So it's really important to circle back all the way to the beginning when I said we need more people that are into functional nutrition. We need a whole army of people that understand how to help people and not just try to program them like a calculator. Eat less of this. Eat more of this. Eat more protein. Eat more veggies. Those things are good, but it's just scratching the surface and it's not really getting to some of the deeper layers of what it means to, you know, nourish and, you know, kind of care for our bodies.

Yeah. Let me, let me ask you, while you're working with people, what do you see is one of the biggest things that you find is a roadblock that you've learned to break through with people to help bring them results when they feel stuck.

That's a great question.

They can't break through.

That's a really great question. I'm going to answer it from two perspectives. So I'm going to answer from the body perspective and I'm going to answer from the mind perspective. So from the body perspective, the number one thing that I see holding people back is Their digestive health, number one. So either I would say like 90% of the people that I work with have constipation and they have bloating and they've been taught that it's normal for these things to happen and you should just drink Miralax and everything's fine. Or, you know, maybe you take it up a level and you're diagnosed with IBS and that's still not really much help because that doesn't really mean anything. It just means there's an issue, but we haven't identified. Do you have a probiotic or do you need probiotics? Do you have a bacterial imbalance, you know, do you lack digestive enzymes, you know, all of those things. So the gut bacteria is so valuable and such a cornerstone to weight loss that the medical community has started doing processes called fecal transplants. So a fecal transplant is just like what it sounds like. So they will take the stool from a lean vigil and they will transfer it to an obese individual because the bacteria in the lean individual's gut is so valuable and so highly functional at keeping this person at this optimal weight that they will transfer it to an obese individual with really great results. And that's how important the gut bacteria is. If your gut bacteria is off, maybe you've been on multiple courses of antibiotics, even if you've got the diet dialed in, you've got the exercise dialed in, if your bacteria is off, you're not going to be burning carbohydrates efficiently, you're going to start storing things, you're going to have an inflammatory response which is like way above what most people assume. Most people think, oh, I should just get my thyroid tested and be put on medication. That never works in my experience, ever. I mean, it's, it's great to get that sort of thing checked out. But most people assume once they're put on a thyroid medication that they're just going to start automatically losing weight. And I found that that's very rarely the case. So I would say, to answer your question, that's the first, you know, major roadblock that, you know, I help people overcome so they can start losing weight. The other answer, Portia, or part to your question is the mental emotional. And I would say the, the type of people that I tend to work with have a real difficult time prioritizing themselves and tend to be self sacrificial to the point where they sacrifice their own goals in order to serve their family, serve their business, serve their job, any of those things. And they just take whatever the leftover scraps are and put it to themselves. And then instead of a process taking three months, it can take 16 months or it can take 24 months because they give, give, give, and there's nothing left for themselves. So a large part of my coaching involves helping people recognize some of these behaviors and giving them steps to, you know, start to make changes, like realizing that they're worth it, realizing that they have people that are codependent on them and helping them get out of that.

Yeah, how, how would you help somebody with that? Because there's, there's obviously a lot of guilt and even shame involved around that. Especially feeling like if I'm no longer codependent with somebody, that now that makes me a bad person.

Right.

I'm actually hurting them or that I'm helping them. How do you walk somebody through that?

That's a really great question. So another part of the coaching training that I've had is I'm a trauma informed coach. So basically what that means is I' and certification courses through my church about trauma and things like that. So I have a pretty good understanding of where a lot of these mechanisms are coming from. So. And of course I have to add, you know, disclaimer. If you feel like you need therapy, please do not delay seeking therapy. You know, that's, that should be your first stop. But you know, in individuals that are having difficulty prioritizing themselves and like you said, feeling the guilt and the shame of being self sacrificial, usually what they, what I do is I lead them through an exercise and I say, well, what does it look like if you are not available to take care of your family? What does it look like if you are this many years down the road, you can't play with your children, you can't play with your grandchildren, things like that. But then what does it look like when you are healthy? How many more things can you do with them? What does your future look like now? And give them the choice. I don't force anybody to do anything. I just say this is totally up to you and your hand is on the throttle and you can control how fast this process moves. But I just want you to think about those things. And typically I work with mothers that are extremely self sacrificial for their family. I just explained to them my favorite analogy. You have to put on your own oxygen mask before you put on anyone else's oxygen mask. Like when you're in an airplane, the mask dropped down, you have to put your own on first. Before you can help anybody else. And usually when I explain it to people that way, then the gears start turning and they start to realize they need to start making different choices.

And here's where I would love to, like, dive deeper into that. Right there. Let's say that you have a mom or a dad who they. Okay, they need to take care of their own oxygen mask, but they also want to take care of their family, but they just don't even have the energy to do that. They feel like they have too much going on to even do that.

Sure.

Can't even take five minutes to not do that. I just had, you know, I actually had two people in the last week tell me that, you know, I'm just. I'm too overwhelmed by the idea of even building a business. I think I'm going to give up and just go back and work the corporate job.

Oh, okay.

And so they're just. They're overwhelmed by taking care of themselves and their family, and they're like, they can't do it all. And they are then beating themselves up, even about it, feeling guilt and shame, and they're struggling to. They end up in a cycle right back where they started, right?

Absolutely. And. And it is cyclical, you know, where it just goes around and around and around, and the. The guilt and shame cycle repeats. And there's no lower vibrating emotion than guilt and shame. There's nothing. I mean, it's been. You know, they measure it. You know, joy and love is all the way up here, and guilt and shame is all the way down here. So the more that your body is resonating at guilt and shame, the more the disease processes can start to take over, the sicker that you get, the lower your energy, you know, things like that. So in situations like that, I really find that, first of all, the person usually has difficulty setting boundaries, but from a very good place in their heart, if that makes sense. So they have such a desire to serve others and take care of others and whatever that their own boundaries kind of take, like, you know, a backseat. And they have a really hard time setting new boundaries because they feel like they're betraying their family somehow or some other obligation they've committed themselves to. But the reality is, if they're going to break that cycle, they have to create new boundaries slowly. They don't have to be extreme, you know, like, all of a sudden, like, all right, I'm not making dinner for anybody this week. Figure it out. You know? You know, maybe you compromise, and maybe you say, okay, I'm going to make dinner and I'm going to delegate and I'm going to place an order through Instacart, pick it up, I'm not going to sh. Myself, I'm going to cook dinner, you're going to clean it up and you're going to take care of the leftovers. Instead of feeling like I need to go shopping, I need to cook the dinner, I need to pick it up, I need to now take the kids to practice or whatever else. And to that person that's in the middle of that situation, they truly don't have the time because that's what they've created. But at the same time, they can create something that looks totally different. And by no means are they not taking the best care of their family at that point. They've just learned how to delegate, they've learned how to share jobs, they've, you know, they've really taught their kids how to run a household at that point. And I explained this to a lady not long ago. So she has polycystic ovarian syndrome, which is triggered by stress, by the way. And one of the things that I told her that really hit home and she homeschools and so on. Really great person, very kind hearted lady. I said, here's the thing. How many kids do you have? Tells me she has eight. I said, okay, do you want all eight of your children to watch what you're doing and model the same process, especially your daughters? And she said, oh my gosh, no, I don't. And I said, okay, just think about that. You know, do you want your daughters feeling exactly how you feel now? And heaven forbid, also having polycystic ovarian syndrome. So not only that, once people realize they're modeling for their kids what their future selves could look like, that sometimes is enough, you know, kindling to start the process of sparking new thoughts and, you know, new processes and like, oh, wow, this is why this is important. It's not just about me anymore. It's how I'm impacting future generations. Maybe I'm setting my own kids up for failure at this point. And then people start to reevaluate now.

Now what if you have somebody who, they're in their home and they're, they're, they're dealing with this, they're setting boundaries and they get a lot of backlash or they get, they get, their, their kids get angry or their spouse gets angry that now they're not doing this and even threatening them. Oh sure, then they end up right back into that Cycle, like, what would you say in that situation?

That's a really great question. So, so the first thing about that is. Well, first of all, anytime that you set a boundary, there's a quote about this somewhere which I'm probably going to butcher. But anytime that you set a boundary, the people that were taking the greatest advantage of you because you had no boundary suddenly is going to become the most angry because their cash cow has suddenly pulled back and is like, I'm not doing this anymore. So number one, you need to expect pushback from those types of people and hold your ground and stick to your guns. However, the process does require a little bit of finesse. So if you, like I said, suddenly announce you're not making dinner anymore for anybody and you're not grocery shopping and you're not doing anybody's laundry for your own health, they're going to be like, what? So of course you're going to get a massive rebellion. But if you take smaller steps and you sit the family down and you say, listen, I need, we're going to like, as a family, we're going to make these changes because it's important for all of us, especially my health. But you know, all of you, this is what the changes are going to look like. And maybe you could, you know, if you're in a situation where they could give you feedback, you know, sometimes you can, sometimes you can't. Sometimes the person's, you know, version of feedback is just manipulation to keep you where you're at.

Yeah.

But you just sit them down and just be like, this is what it's going to look like. So, you know, if you've got kids that are 16 that can drive, okay, listen, I'm not grocery shopping anymore. I'm going to place an instacart, you're going to pick it up and put the groceries away. A 16 year old can handle that. You know, things like that.

Yeah.

So I think it's important to kind of figure out what your boundaries are and then start to lay out. Yeah. Delegate and lay out a long term plan over. You eventually want to be. Instead of being like, all right, I'm done. You know, even though that's probably what your body and your mind needs to make the transition easier, you need to go slower and say, hey, very good, we're going to be doing love that.

Just go slower, do what you can do. I tell people that often. They, they, they are like, I'm overwhelmed by all the stuff I have to do to make my business work. I'm overwhelmed by all the stuff I do to make my life work. And I'm like, just do what you can do. And yet I often hear I say that to people, and their response back is, well, I don't feel satisfied with what I can do, and I'm not happy with it. And. And there's these messages that people deal with and struggle with. That ultimately, again, I think goes back to trauma.

Sure.

I think goes back to fear and worry and how we were raised, and that if you don't perform, you're not good enough. That's performance anxiety. I've struggled with that myself. I've struggled with that completely, that if I don't do everything as I should, quote, unquote, according to what people say I should do, that I'm bad. And I have to remind myself that that's. That's not true. That, like, I get to create my life. We get to design our lives.

Absolutely. I mean, and I think that that's very common herd mentality as a species. If I don't, you know, conform to what the herd expects or wants, then I'm going to be ostracized and I don't get access to resources and whatever. It's very primal thinking, you know, when you feel that your very existence is threatened because you're not conforming. But reality is that, you know, we're in modern society now, and that's not a concern. You know, we still have access to resources. And, you know, what's. What's really interesting is, I think in a lot of cases, women have been kind of like passed down this ancestral belief that they have to trade their autonomy for protection or for resource, because honestly, you go back multiple centuries, that was the case. Women were trading their autonomy for resources, for safety, for protection, and it's programmed. I mean, we've seen multiple studies on Holocaust survivors, like the offspring of Holocaust survivors. And these offspring can be clinically diagnosed with ptsd not because they've, you know, gone through any sort of trauma themselves, but because the trauma from their grandparents or their parents has been encoded in the DNA and been passed down. And that's not an isolated example. I mean, you look at any family, and more likely than not, there's some type of ancestral trauma that's been passed down in some way. So it's fascinating. We could do a whole podcast on that, actually. But it doesn't mean it's a death sentence. It just means that you're resisting some programming that came was passed down genetically, and you just work on slowly reprogramming but also acknowledging like this, and this part's important, you don't judge your ancestors for what they did. You kind of acknowledge it and go, you know, I understand why you did what you did, I honor you for that. But this is the new pattern I'm going to be creating.

That's true. Now let's circle back around to the, the body side of things.

Sure.

Just as much so you're working on the mindset. Sometimes the. When people feel like they're, they're powerless in a certain situation, or they're struggling to set boundaries, or they're feeling anxiety, how much of that comes through just in what they're feeding their body. Even, especially like if they're having a lot of sugar snacking, like just, just carbohydrates or spiking their blood sugar or whatever that is. Anything else that you want to share on that?

Oh Yeah, I mean, 100%. So if we take anything trauma related, you know, from the conversation, there's a whole other layer that is just strictly what you're feeding your body, which is why it's so important. So, you know, if, if you are, like you said, feeding yourself carbohydrates all day long, you know, just because it's fast, it's easy, it tastes good, you're going to be on a blood sugar roller coaster all day. You're going to be one of those people that, you know, that experiences hanger. You know, when you're hangry, you know, hungry and angry, it's going to happen at regular intervals because your blood sugar is going up and down and crashing. And then what ends up happening is it ends up like a runaway train. By the end of the day it's like, okay, well I started my day with like half a bagel. Well, the end of the day I need ice cream and cookies and now I need something salty. And you know, and, and it just becomes this, you know, horrible, you know, sort of like snowball effect that accumulates by the end of the day. And it can feel hard to get out of that cycle because then what happens is because you've eaten so much at the end of the day, you wake up in the morning, you don't want to eat, or you eat like a half a bagel because you heard breakfast was good for you or whatever, you start the cycle all over again. And you know, when your, your food is not anchored by a protein, ideally and a fiber, everything can get all, you know, wacky, out of control. I mean, we really did society a major disservice by releasing the food pyramid, 9 to 12 servings of grains on the bottom. You know, I have a lot of theories on that, but let's just. Let's just give everyone the benefit of the doubt and say that that was created because people were more active at that time. We're not now. We're just not. So that nine to 12 servings of grains, not really a great idea for most people. And, you know, not only from a blood sugar management standpoint, we're also looking at how it's impacting the gut. So a lot of our neurotransmitters are manufactured in the gut. So if you're feeding, you know, some bad gut bacteria, some sugar, those guys are going to, you know, throw a wild party and proliferate next, you know, and they're gonna, like, woo more sugar. And then your sugar cravings can come from the inside out, and you can feel like you have no control. And I have personal experience with this. So I was a few years out of college, and I was, you know, living on my own. And of course, I got into the bad habit while I was in college of eating gummy candy occasionally at night because I was running track. I was working out twice a day at the time. I needed it. It was a terrible food source, but I needed it. So graduate, whatever, I kid you not. I Woke up at 2 in the morning and I had to drive to the grocery store and get bulk candy because I was craving it so bad, because the cravings were coming from my gut. They weren't coming from psychological. And then, of course, my car broke down in the parking lot, and I had to call 91 1. And of course, the cop that showed up to rescue me, I knew. And he's like, what are you doing here? And I was too embarrassed to tell him why I was there. I said I needed medication or something like that, but, you know, it was terrible. But that's how real gut cravings are. And of course, you know, this was right around the time I started working with that naturopath. And lo and behold, I had a candida overgrowth. And, you know, candida can cause crazy sugar cravings that make you want to eat anything not nailed down, like in my case. So, you know, it's. Food choices are really important, especially making sure your gut's balanced and, you know, and so on. So I'll add to that. A lot of people experience a lot of guilt and shame with feeling like they're not in control of their food choices. And some of it could be an imbalance with what they're eating. But more often than not, it's an imbalance coming from the gut, which is driving a lot of these choices. And then people wonder why they can't stick to anything long term. It's because their gut is, is really in charge and driving everything.

Wow, that's. That's amazing. I think a lot of people that are listening to this, especially if they're, they're dealing with, with anxiety and worry and fear in their life. I noticed in my life, you know, last year I was eating a lot of sugar and I was hiding it, and I was, I had this sugar addiction that I, Yeah. Talked about and mentioned to some people. And as soon as I, like, stopped eating a lot of sugar and just started adding leafy greens before every meal, not with a bunch of, like, dressing, like, I literally just kind of eat the greens by themselves and having the fiber and then, you know, supporting my adrenals and, and exercising. Not a whole lot, but just a little bit every day. That alone has radically transformed my life. My business, our income has gone up. My focus, my ability to communicate has gotten better, my capacity to work with people. I stopped drinking alcohol as well. Like, just all of that has changed my life as a coach. And it's just some of the basic stuff that I've learned from people like yourself and, and have started to apply to my life that I see that I just, I really want. Like, I've had a number of people on here that are nutritionists and health coaches share the same thing that you're sharing. And so for those that are listening right now, maybe you've heard a few of these same messages. Really take a look at how you're eating if you're struggling to build your business.

Absolutely.

If you're struggling to actually build your business. I'm not talking about starving yourself to, like, for the focus of losing weight. Like, that's not what I'm talking about. And I, and I notice a lot of people, especially women, as they get into coaching, they think, oh, I can't show up on camera unless I'm a certain weight. You'll feel more confident by just eating what supports your body. And, and, and it. The scale isn't the focus, but it's like, how can I make my brain work better? How can I feel better about myself? And, and, you know, there's a lot of messaging that goes on. Especially I have a lot of clients that are over the age of 40 and 50 years old. There's been a lot of Messaging around self worth and the body that I think our current generation has swung the opposite direction. Speak to that a little bit like self worth and, and just loving yourself where you're at and who you are, but also taking care of yourself and how it's an act of self love to actually take care of yourself.

Oh my gosh, that's like such a great topic. So, okay, so the first thing is, yes, it's very important to love yourself where you're at. And if you're someone that's in the process of trying to get your body back to a more comfortable place, buy clothes that feel good on you, buy clothes that look good on you, don't stress out when you get dressed. Because I know for a lot of women it can be a panic moment when you try to put on a pair of pants that don't actually fit. And I think the easiest thing to do is run to the scale, see how bad it is, which never works, by the way. And then, you know, suddenly commit yourself to this crash diet that never works. And then the cycle repeats itself, you know, and the people think that they're doing it out of self love, but really they're doing out of panic and reactionary mode where it's like, oh no, what happened? So the first thing I would say is to not engage in any behaviors that are going to bring guilt and shame on you. Because anytime you do that, that's a surefire way to know that your approach is going to fail. So if your approach involves weighing yourself all the time, I would not do that. I have some clients that don't weigh in. We don't weigh in at all. We just go based on how you feel, how your clothes fit, you know, things like that. I have other clients that weigh in every 30 days because they don't want to put themselves in that position where they need to see a change every day or every week. Because the scale is really not the greatest gauge of progress anyway. I mean, I have a really great before and after picture of a lady and in her before, she's 182 pounds and she has what looks like a beach ball sized midsection. You know, eight months after the process, she's still 182 pounds, but she has an hourglass figure. Well, what happened? She did something called body recomposition where she lost body fat, she fixed her gut. I'm assuming this wasn't my client, this was somebody I found online and she built some muscle and lost fat. So, you know, if your only gauge is the scale, you're doing yourself a huge disservice because there could be many changes going on. So it's important to love yourself where you're at and just understand that it's part of a process. You should really unfriend anybody on Facebook that you know or, or any social media platform that makes you feel badly about yourself. And that goes for body business anything. I have gone through this, you know, this mad season of unfriending people right and left that I know has smoke and mirrors messaging because it's really toxic and it's misrepresentation. So there's that. So very important to love and accept yourself and instead of focusing on what you can take away from your body, focus on what you can give it instead. That's super important. Now the other part that I want to add to that is that I feel that the beauty at any size movement has been grossly misrepresented. So what I mean by that is that the concept of there being beauty at any size, yes, we're not all the same size. However, what has kind of spiraled out of control is that people are now assuming that very unhealthy body compositions is okay and you should ignore certain signs and symptoms and you know, you see where it became a very gray area. So I just want to caution people about that. I think that it's wonderful if it's helped women accept themselves that haven't been able to do it.

Absolutely.

Up until this point. I really do.

But we don't need self hatred at all.

No, but the, the one can, the, the one filter I guess I would add to that is just make sure in that process, are you ignoring signs and symptoms?

Are you healthy? Are you taking care? Are you cutting years off of your life?

Yes.

Because of certain things that you're doing. I mean, I even take account of that all the time myself. I think it's so important.

Absolutely, absolutely. I mean, like for example, I was just talking to someone the other day and they had mentioned that they. So they had a belt that had gone up a significant amount of sizes and that was actually indicative of a gut problem. But at the time they said, beauty at any size. I'm just going to accept myself for this, you know, and they were in an unhealthy weight to begin with. And in retrospect, now that years have gone by and the gut issues compounded, they said, I really wish I would have paid closer attention to when my belt sizes started to suddenly go up for no reason. Turns out they had Massive bacterial gut overgrowth.

Yeah.

So, you know, I mean, it's not to say that, you know what I mean, our bodies aren't going to stay the same size all the time. But in situations like that, the messaging from the beauty at any size movement really kind of negated some of the signals her body was trying to give her of, hey, there's something here.

It's just as toxic as, you know, basically telling people like that it's okay. It'd be like having a car that is like making a whole bunch of really loud noises and driving it on the road and, and then, you know, well, I'm just going to accept this car that it's going to break down and that's gonna just stop working.

Yeah, it'll grow back.

And in fact, some of that messaging I could see being perpetuated by big pharma.

Oh, no doubt.

Being perpetuated by people that benefit from people being sick.

Absolutely.

You got to be aware of how that messaging is monetized.

Absolutely.

Again, we're not talking about self hate, like hating yourself for what your body is, but it's like there's sometimes there's symptoms and it's like, okay, maybe something's off here. Let's take a look at what that is. And, and what are some things that like people could start doing? You know, they're like, well, I, I can't afford to work with a functional medicine person, which I think anybody could find the budget for it if they really looked. But what are some things that they could start with at least like to do that would start to at least move, put them in a, in a more positive direction?

Yeah, absolutely. And one thing I'll say, you know, whether people are interested in working with me or somebody else that does what I do, typically people like me will have multiple tiers of affordable access to people to programs and things like that, which is what I have. And I think there are a lot of other functional professionals like me that have the same thing so that you can get access to help no matter your budget. So I do have something available like that where you could, you know, invest as low as $20 a month and get help all the way up to vip one on one coaching. So I do want to point that out to people that I've had a lot of people not even reach out to me for help because they assumed they couldn't afford me. And I, you know, I'm thinking, oh no, I've actually created very affordable things for people of all budgetary, you know, I know you have, you know, like, you. Like you and I have worked on together. So I just want to point that out to people, too. Seek out people, have different tiers of service so that you can get access no matter what you can afford. But if you wanted to try some things on your own, I would say just try something very simple. I would say that the two things that can make the greatest impact to your overall day is how you set up your breakfast and lunch. So the way those two meals are set up will completely dictate what you do at the end of the day. So I'm gonna throw a little reversal in here that'll probably gonna throw some people off. But breakfast is not the most important meal of the day. Lunch actually is, because your digestive strength is the greatest at lunchtime. So at lunchtime, and it's. It's. It's really sad because we've been taught to, you know, pack a really dry salad and throw some sad grilled chicken on there and maybe some balsamic vinaigrette. And our little salad's like the size of a cereal bowl. And we're like, okay, I had a healthy lunch. And then you're starving an hour later, so you want to toss out that whole idea that you've been taught instead, make the biggest, you know, possible salad that you can think of. I eat mine out of a mixing bowl because it's so big. A lot of people do, actually. And, you know, add your chicken and then add all of your favorite types of veggies, you know, carrots, peppers, whatever. Throw in some nuts, you know, maybe throw in some berries, some tahini, something like that. Make it really big, because your lunch is really going to anchor your choices for the rest of the day. And the beauty of that is that you don't even have to make it yourself. If you're a busy entrepreneur or, you know, wife, mom, dad, you know, boss, whatever, you can order that out, no problem. I mean, one of my favorite things to say to people all the time is this. When they say they don't have time, I go, all right, well, you're going to have to eat at some point, right? And they're like, yeah. And I'm like, like, then make the best choice you can. You know, you're not just going to stop eating. Just make a different choice. So make sure you anchor your lunch with a big old portion of protein, big portion of veggies. That can be dinner leftovers. You don't have to make it hard. And then breakfast, the same thing, make sure you choose a protein, you choose a veggie or some type of fiber. So you know, you could do like scrambled eggs and veggies and poultry sausage. That's fine, you know, and most people can do something like that. Or I'll have people do like a protein shake with a handful of leafy greens and you know, a spoonful of almond or almond or some type of nut butter. Those two things are going to go so far in your journey that you will be like light years ahead by the time you reach out to somebody like me or, you know, or me, whatever for help, that you have already done some of the legwork and a practitioner would then be like, great, you've done the hard stuff, let's take you to the next level now. So that's what I would really recommend. And that would be true of, you know, of trying to reach out to any practitioner. Do as much legwork as you can first, if you're capable and then reach out to that person for help because then they're going to be able to take you like light years ahead of where you took yourself.

Yeah, that's amazing. And where can people find info about working with you?

You just visit www.livehealthywithbecky and it's Becky with an I, not a y dot com.

Awesome. I am right here on your website. This is great. I just love all the different stuff. Plus you have the supplements that you can help people with. You really have become like a one stop shop. You got your insider circle coaching, your, your weekly fat loss, your one on one coaching. This is amazing. This is really just incredible how you're helping people. And, and I'm so thankful that you were able to be here today to just bring some of your knowledge and some of your wisdom to everybody.

Oh, I appreciate it. And I appreciate the opportunity, you know, that you gave me to come and speak. And I mean we've done great work together over the years too. You've really helped me streamline a lot of things that I offer and you know, make sure that it's a really great suite of services that can, you know, anybody can access no matter what their budget is.

Very awesome. Well, everybody listen, check out becky over at livehealthywithbecky.com we'll put the link here on the post. And if you're somebody that is again, struggling with some of these issues or maybe you know somebody that is, you're a coach, you're a trainer, you're in corporate and you're just wanting to to have a more fulfilled life. I think that's really what it is, is like you want more of what you want. You can get more of what you want by taking care of your mindset and your body. Share this episode with somebody and, and, and, and help them out and say like, you know, this is, this is something that I think might be a good starting place for you. I think really this, this episode is a good starting place for a lot of people to explore the ideas of why they do what they do and some small changes they can make both mentally and physically to accomplish their goals better. Any final thoughts or encouragement that you want to share with anybody?

Sure. So I will say to encourage people, those of you that are scared, to embark on anything, any changes or anything like that. One thing that's helpful to know, and this might be a helpful motivator, is how you show up in private, is how you show up in public. So if you want to, if you have big dreams of, you know, taking your business to the next level, how you treat your body in private, you know, and your healthy habits and so on, it's magnified through your business. And there's this, this unspoken, you know, kind of energy shift that people pick up on with you and they're like, oh, I just, I just really want to work with this person. And it's because you're taking such great care of yourself behind the scenes, so it's worth it. So don't let the process intimidate you. Just pick small things that you want to tackle. Please don't do anything crazy like downloading a three day juice cleanse or anything like that because it's not going to give you the long term result that you're looking for. It's just going to drive you into more panic, guilt and shame once it's over. So really focus on those sustainable lifelong habits. Make sure it's something your whole family can do, you can do it all together and just enjoy the process. Don't be so hard on yourself.

Yeah, I, I've noticed everybody, at least that I've worked with or that I'm connected with, that does a lot in the health and fitness that's their same message is yeah, so embrace the process. You know, do what you can do, Be aware but like love yourself through the whole thing. Take care of your mental health as well as your physical. Years back I had studied a lot about health and fitness and nutrition just to like go after like a bodybuilding type goal.

Oh yeah.

Completely neglected the mindset side of it. And swung right back worse than I was before. Afterwards, I had the six pack and I had like lost all this weight and, and I was, I think I was like 7% body fat. I was like the first time in my whole life I did a photo shoot and all this, and then immediately ended up gaining it all, all back and actually hating the gym and hating working out and hating eating because I didn't work on what was up here. And so I've spent the last four years really dialing this in more than anything else. And now I'm starting to add in the fitness and the eating and all of that piece by piece. And I'm noticing that it's sustainable that way, that, that I think we can't separate the mind from the body. Mind and body go together.

Yes, absolutely. I mean, and I, I appreciate you sharing that, you know, and, and you know, being transparent about it. That's a lot of people's experience. I mean, I came from an industry where I dieted for figure shows. I did it twice, actually, and it's a very extreme process. And I really think it was divine intervention because each time I would get a certain number of weeks out from the stage, I would have some sort of really debilitating injury. And to the degree where I ended up in physical therapy, I mean, at one point I had worn down cartilage in my knees and, you know, all these other issues. I couldn't even climb the stairs. And I was trying to work a corporate job and I was like, I cannot do this. This is a for fun hobby. You know, I can't sacrifice my, my job stability for, for something like this. And what you're describing, after you do something extreme like that, it's really real. You feel lost, you don't know what to do. In many cases, the pendulum swings in the other direction. You extremes. I mean, and to a degree, I wonder if the amygdala and the brain's been triggered, you know, that fear response, because that will drive, you know, what's going on and create these aversions to the things that caused such a traumatic experience the first time around. So I love that you shared that because I think a lot of people think like, I just need to go to a boot camp and have somebody whip me into shape. I need something that's like super strict. And it's like, well, just be careful because whatever measure you use to take it off is the measure you're going to have to use to maintain it.

Wow. So that's a, that's actually A very biblical statement. I, I, I have heard that any sort of like growth in your life, in your business that you do without God, you're gonna have to sustain it without him too. And we can't. And I'm like, like that applies even in so many different avenues is like if you're using certain tools like guilt and shame to drive you, which is what for me, my shame is what drove me.

Yeah.

My, I, I literally had hatred towards my body that drove me to change it.

Interesting.

And, and that was the only motivator I had. And as soon as I got to a certain place and I loved how it looked, I had no motivation.

Yeah.

And I bet that's a lot, a lot of people deal with that, even in their businesses, even. And, and I'll just be super transparent. I try to be as transparent as possible all the time. I've even noticed some of that can come up in business. A shame and guilt of not having a certain level of income drives me to increase my income and then it comes right back down. And so having to learn to have A, the self discipline to do it without those motivators, B, to change my reason why I'm doing this and, and, and then C, setting up myself with systems for success to where I don't burn myself out.

Yeah.

And so that it's, it's enjoyable and it's fun and the fun is back into it. That the fun isn't because I accomplish something. That the fun isn't because I'm accomplishing something. The fun is just in being who God made me to be.

Absolutely.

Coming from that place. And that's so powerful for people when it comes to your body, your mind, your business, all of that. Well, this has been great. I think I might have to have you back on here again to talk even more about this. I feel like we could talk for like another hour.

Oh, absolutely. I have plenty other areas that we could talk about. We could talk about big pharma, we could talk about, about quantum spirituality. We could talk about ancestral traumas. I do a lot of things. And I'll just, I'll close with this. So there's a CEO that I've been working with. She's a CEO of a big, very, very big company. And she developed type 2 diabetes out of nowhere, but then also type 1 diabetes out of nowhere. So then what is she? The doctors said, well, I guess she's type one and a half where she's both insulin dependent, but because she's not manufacturing her own. But she also can't control her blood sugar. So she was on drugs for both. Both. And she was working with a mutual friend. And mutual friend said, you really need to talk to Becky about this. So we get in touch. And in. Let me tell you, in eight months of working together now, we've done no dietary modifications. Let me just point this out. Only doing mindset work. She has gotten off of her type 1 diabetes medication. She shed most of her type 2 diabetes medication, except for a little bit of metformin. And that is just from doing mindset.

Wow.

That's it. Mindset.

Amazing.

So that's how important it is.

A lot of people, like, don't think that the mind and mindset. We talk a lot about mindset on this podcast. I would say that it's about 66% of what I talk about. And then strategy is probably about the other 33%.

Yeah.

Is because. And. And I'm a testament to this. I had all the strategies for the coaching business and the course business, but my income has gone up like crazy this past year. Because of the mindset piece.

Absolutely.

Because I'm finally. I have up here in order and how it's coming out is flowing from that place. And I'm still working on what's up here. I. I'm. I'm telling you, I. I am going through something right now. I'm not ready to, like, talk about with everybody, but on the other side of it, I know I'm gonna. I'm gonna share it. Just some. Some stuff I'm gonna be talking to my therapist about this week that really. We have our. We have our family here this week. Like, my wife's whole family's here. And it triggered something in me that I didn't know is there that now I'm like, okay, this is an area that I, I actually, it was just amplified, but it's been under the surface for the last year that I need to work on.

On.

And so when we can look at even our triggers, I actually start to get excited. If I get super triggered about something and it's a new trigger that's more amplified, I'm like, okay, I can go to work on that and the rest of my life is going to change.

Absolutely. Oh, that is. I love that because that is so true. Once you get to a certain point in the process, you look for those triggers. And when something triggers you, it's like you said, it's like, this is great. I can't wait to discuss this, you know?

Yeah. Instead of beating yourself up about it and being mad like, oh, I got another trigger again, kind of like in your body. Even if you're like, oh, I'm okay, I'm struggling, I reached a plateau. Instead of getting frustrated with the plateau, reframing it with excitement of, okay, what can I learn from this? What, What. What can I go back into and learn? And so I think even just in our lives and our businesses, anywhere where we feel stuck or something that's sticking us is reframing. That is reframing. I've been. I've been teaching people I need to get the exact language, but basically it's what Tony Robbins teaches about pain versus pleasure and reassociating what was painful and that, like, you hated yourself about and you didn't like, as a pleasurable experience and that they're actually the same feeling inside of you, but there's a different story you tell about it. And so oftentimes, when I'm nervous to talk with somebody in a sales call or I'm nervous to go into a situation, I reframe it now as excitement because there's a lesson for me by pressing through that, and it allows me to break past my fear, reassociating my fears with that. Now, this is. This is how, again, a lot of people, there's some negatives to this, how they can get into abusive relationships because they end up associating the abuse with love because that's the only way they can cope. This is how extreme sports people, they associate, they get addicted to that adrenaline rush. Right. Stuff like that. So we got to be aware of what's healthy, what's not. But. But in the process of building your business, your health journey, your mindset journey, you're going to come up to places where you're stuck, where it's gonna. You're gonna get afraid, and you're gonna almost feel like. Like, I can't go on. And that's where. If we can reframe that as this is actually an exciting moment for me that I'm feeling this.

Yes.

That can change people's lives. And if I could just help more people understand that I'm starting to talk more about it. Like, when you feel the most fear, that's when you lean in. That's when you get excited.

Yes.

And reframing your fear as excitement when it comes to your business. Right. Because in business, we're not really putting ourselves into life or death situations. Even one of the scariest things, when people have to spend money on advertising or spend money to build their landing pages or their sales copy or to get coaching. Right. But that might be a temporary fear of is it going to produce a result. But by leaning into that, you're going to learn a whole lot that you would not have learned by not doing, doing that.

I love it. Yep. My favorite phrase is I win either way.

Yep.

I win either way. You know, and either way, like I love what you said because like, you know, guilt and shame and anger, if people are using that to drive them, that's a finite resource. It's going to run out. You know. And it's like you said, it's very biblical. You know, what you use to build your business just like your body, you know, whatever. If you're doing it apart from God and you're trying to use artificial motivators, it just leads to destruction. No matter what we're talking about. Whether it's the body, you end up with, you know, breakdown on the cellular level, you know, or in your business, your business crumbles because you've built it out of vengeance. I, I've seen plenty of people, you know, unfortunately have that type of experience or they, they build it out of whatever the, the, the so called inadequacy that they feel that they have.

Yeah. To prove themselves.

Exactly.

That. Proving yourself can only, it can motivate you to get started, but it's not going to sustain you.

Right.

And so you got to find something else to keep going forward. And that's why usually a lot of people prove themselves and they drop back where they are and they got to prove themselves again. And, and I, I, I actually know a guy right now. He's been on that cycle for 20 years and he's made millions and then always loses it. Makes millions of. And loses it. And, and one of his biggest fears is being wrong.

Wow.

One of his biggest fears is people calling him out on being wrong as well.

Very interesting.

And so like internally it's this, this idea of, and I was actually talking with a close friend of mine that we both know him. And it's like you can, it's, it's clear as day from everybody on the outside.

Yeah.

His pattern. But he has this deep need to be right all the time.

Yeah.

That is preventing him from even seeing it.

Wow.

That's where I think a lot of people get stuck on this need to be right and to do the right thing.

Yep.

And to never be wrong. It's, and it comes from insecurity. It comes from fear of.

Yeah.

If we just lay that down. That's why I tell people. You're gonna make mistakes. You're gonna make messes. You're going to be wrong sometimes times that's okay. Yeah, that's part of the process. You're gonna mess up, and you can learn from it so that then you go and win in the future.

Exactly. You win either way. And, you know, a lesson is usually permitted to repeat in your life until you learn it. So in some cases, it goes on for 20 years. You know, like in that particular man's case that you mentioned. So the faster you can learn it, the better. But, you know, yeah, I. I really love your. Your explanation with Tony Robbins, because it's. It's. You have a choice, you know, And I tell my clients that, listen, you win either way. Even if you don't achieve your result, you're going to learn really intimately what did not work for you. And usually it's something extreme.

Yeah. This is great. This has been such a good episode. Thank you for being here again.

Sure.

Everybody, check out live healthy with Becky.com and share the episode with people. If you're a coach or trainer, hop on one of the upcoming live events that I'm doing. Grow your life, everybody, and we'll talk soon.

Have a good one. Thanks again.