198: Trust Your Gut & Stop Overthinking - #GrowYourLife

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to the Grow youw Life podcast. My name is Darren Mikerkowski. On this podcast, I show coaches, trainers and mentors how to make more money, get more clients and scale their businesses to 100k, 200k, $300,000 and eventually making millions of dollars their businesses like our clients have, that we've worked with. Now today is going to be a great topic. This is the first podcast episode that I've made after get. My wife just gave birth to our son. We just made sure that she was all set up and she's got her family at the house. So I'm stepping out here just for a few minutes to record this podcast episode for you. So here's something that I wanted to kind of help you with is a lot of you don't know. Over the last four years we've been running marketing for a number of different companies, consulting while I've been building this business. And now with the new baby here, just our time is a lot less, it's a lot more valuable, it's a lot more scarce than before. And so I'm going to use this episode as a perfect example for you of what I've been talking about for people. Truth is, I don't have time to sit down and map out the perfect podcast. I don't have time to make sure that what I say lands perfectly with people. And truthfully, if you are somebody who does that and you're spending hours mapping out, planning out, you need to learn how to just get on the surfboard, jump in the ocean and ride the wave versus trying to be so cautious and careful and, and map things out so much that you end up wasting hours and hours and hours of inaction that you could be you utilizing to build your business. You know, right now I got a 20 minute window where I know like my wife's good for the next 20 minutes. So I'm gonna record this podcast episode right here. I didn't have an extra 10 minutes to go map it out. And yet here I am talking to you about something that I know is going to help people. And so one of the biggest things that I see after working with hundreds of coaches over the years is people get so caught up in their head overthinking about doing everything right, the right way, making sure that it lands, making sure that it sticks. And they spend hours and hours spinning up ideas in their head, spinning around potential scenarios of how things should go without ever actually doing anything, without ever actually pressing record on their course, without ever actually loading up chat GPT to write some copy without ever actually starting a website on Squarespace and building their landing page and growing their email list. And each one of these steps only takes about 10 to 15 minutes on their own. But we end up making them so much bigger in our mind than they really are. We end up making these ideas so much bigger than they need to be, and then we come up with a thousand reasons why it's not going to work out and needs to be better. It's not good enough. And all this, and this is the mindset that you have to learn to listen. It comes from a place of your past. It comes from a place of. It's the unknown. You want to do things with excellence. I get that. I get that. That's me as well. Okay? But at the end of the day, this business can't be built that way. This business has to be built where you more just open your mouth and speak without thinking and move impulsively and move when you've got a little moment and you got a moment of inspiration. I hear so often people like, I got inspiration for this offer. I got inspiration for an offer for my email list, but then mean, is it gonna work out? Is it gonna. Is it gonna produce the result that I want? And then for six to 12 months, people then talk themselves out of actually doing the great idea that they had. They had this spark of inspiration. They had the spark of inspiration. When that spark comes in, write it down, make a list, and then try to get that one item knocked off your list in the next week before going on to the next item. Before going on to the next item, instead of talking yourself out of it and wondering, is it a bad idea? Is it not going to work out? And for those of you if, like, you've tried this, this is why, again, working on your mental health has the greatest return on investment in your business. Mental health isn't a stigma anymore. We've all had traumas, we've all had trials. We've all had tribulations. We've all had things happen in our life that have tried to convince us that we're not good enough to do the very thing that we were called, that we were born to do. I get it. We. We're growing and learning how to operate. Me, I'm growing and learning how to operate as a dad. Even right now, as I'm recording this, I know that there's going to be some people that watch this and they're going to judge me as a wicked, evil father for not Being at my house with my wife right now that I am the scum of the earth, because I'm recording this podcast right now. Stepped aside for five minutes, even though her mom and dad and sister are there. And I've had to learn. You know what? I can't worry what other people think about me. I can't let the perceptions of other people who think that I'm the worst human on planet Earth and that they were appalled and disgusted by my existence to stop me. And I get messages from people. I've actually gotten messages this week for posting content on my social media. But what a terrible human being I am. Great. Let people think whatever they want of you. Let people make up stories about you. Let people imagine whatever they want. Let people think whatever they want about you. It doesn't matter. What you need to learn, though, is to move more on your impulses as a coach, as a course creator, as a trainer, as a mentor. Stop second guessing yourself. Stop second guessing your actions before you do them and just start doing them. So you're going to come up with all these excuses, all these reasons, all these things that play out in your head as to why you can't. As to why right now is not the right time, as to why you need to wait until another time to get started, and then that becomes your habit and that becomes how you live your life and how you exist for the next 6 to 12 to 24 months. And. And yet you say that you want to do something and no progress has happened. That's a choice that you made on your own. That's a choice that you made to not take action and to let your brain talk you out of doing the very thing that you actually know you probably should have done. And I'm not saying this to make you feel guilty. I'm not saying this to harp on anybody. We all got stuff going on. We all got life. We all got experiences. We all got things going on inside of us. We all got things going on in our families and with our friends and. And each of our situations are unique, but you can still build your business inside of those unique situations. You can still create the life you want. The more you learn to go with the flow. Not second guess yourself, not second guess your actions, not wait until perfection and just take imperfect action. Jump into the deep end without knowing if it's going to work. Jump into the deep end without having the guarantee. Jump out there without having the certainty that it's going to go how you want. And take the steps to create the Life and create the business that you've always imagined. This is one of the number one things that stops people is they second guess themselves. They talk themselves out of taking action in their business. And this is actually one of the biggest things that affects their time management. They say, I don't have enough time to build my business. No, it's actually you've been talking yourself out of using the time you have, and you have not allowed yourself to prioritize things in a way that allows you to use the time that you have as best as possible. And again, it could be guilt, shame, you know, I'm going to be doing some videos here with my baby strapped to me, maybe pushing a stroller around, things like that. Like, go with the flow of your life. Stop trying to create this facade, this fairy tale version of your life that you're trying to project to other people that you think other people need you to be in order to be successful. Stop trying to create some false narrative that you think that you're supposed to be in order to be good enough to put your business out there and just launch already. Just start with, what are those ideas that you have? What are those initial thoughts? Those initial ideas? And yeah, you're gonna probably end up talking yourself out of doing it if that's been your habit. Most of your habits aren't going to change overnight. Most of your habits that have gotten you to where you are today are not going to change overnight. But you got to be intentional to say, you know what, I'm not going to let what I feel, what I think, what's going on in my brain, what I'm worried people are going to say, think and do to stop me from creating the life that I want. When's the last time that you asked yourself and answered the question, what do you want out of life? What's the life that you want to create? When's the last time that you answered that question for yourself? Some of you, you haven't answered that question in years because you felt guilty, because you felt selfish, because you've created this life where you have to serve everybody and that you're giving of yourself to everybody else and sacrificing yourself and only giving yourself the very little bit because for some reason you were taught that you're not worth making yourself a priority. And I want to tell you this today, you are worth making yourself a priority. You are worth making yourself important in your life. You are worth making your family's finances important in your life. You are worth prioritizing, building A business in your life, if that's what you want. I'm not saying you have to do that, but if you're listening to this podcast, I would think that you're somebody that has a desire to do that. Otherwise you wouldn't be listening to this. Right? This is like the. The 1 to 2% of people that. That want to be coaches, that want to be trainers, that want to be mentors, that want to make multiple six figures and change their family's future and change their finances, that's up to you. The habits, the beliefs, the. The way that maybe you've been living, the. The habit that you have of talking yourself out of doing things and then overthinking, over processing and talking yourself out, of taking steps forward, talking yourself out of why it's not a good time, why you don't have enough time, what you have to say is not good enough. And instead just start believing in yourself. Start declaring, I have value, I have worth, my time is valuable, and I'm doing my very best. And give yourself some self compassion. Give yourself some self love. Give yourself the grace that you give to other people instead of being so hard on yourself. I've been so hard on myself for so long. I've been so hard on myself for years. And I get it. Other people try to be hard on us, but we're our own worst critic. See, I could either take those words that people have told me about me being the worst father in the world by walking around my neighborhood for 13 minutes and let that stew and destroy me. And I could let that get into my head where people tell me that. That me doing this is the worst possible thing that I could do for my family, that I'm harming my family by making videos like this. I get it. There are people that believe that. There are people that believe that me making videos like this is bringing harm to my family. It's okay. Let them. Let them think whatever they want. Let them believe whatever they want. Let them judge you. Let them criticize you. Let other people rip into you. But don't give up. Don't give up on your dreams. Don't give up on your goals just because other people tell you that you shouldn't be doing the things that you're doing just because other people tell you that you are a bad person for doing the things that you know that you're called and born to do. You will have people criticize you for that. You will have people come after you. You will have people try to stop you from doing the things that you were born to do. It's up to you to decide. Are you going to submit to their authority? Are you going to let them knock you down, beat you up, and rip you apart? Or are you going to create the life that you want? That's what you get to decide for yourself today. That's why I do these videos, because I want to inspire you, because I want you to take the steps to move forward and to build the life that you want and to build the life that, you know that you were called to build for your family's future and to create the type of future that, you know, you were born to live. And so that's why I'm making this podcast episode. That's why I'm doing this. That's why I'm here right now. That's why I'm here right now. Because I believe so much in the future that I'm creating for my family. I believe so much in where I'm going, where I'm headed, what I'm doing, that I'm not going to let some narrative of idiots on social media dictate what I can and can't do. That I'm not going to let some narrative of people on the Internet decide for me what I'm allowed to do. I'm just not. And so you got to decide to do that for yourself. And listen, I know this. This might make some of you feel very uncomfortable, what I'm saying right now. Some of you may unfollow me. Some of you may even report me for this video. That's fine. It's absolutely fine. I'm not worried. I'm not bothered at all. Doesn't scare me. Doesn't scare me if I get canceled for this, because I know that. I know that I know where I'm headed and I know that I know that I know the dreams that are inside of me. And there ain't nobody that's gonna stop them. There is no situation that's gonna stop them. There is no life like catastrophe that's gonna make me give up. Too many of you have given up on your dreams because life happened. Too many of you have chosen to not do what you were born to do because life happened. Too many of you are laying down your future, are laying down the life that you want to create because you want to make sure that you do everything right. And I get it, that comes from a good place. You want to do everything right, but you're the one that gets to decide what's right. You're the one that gets to decide what the best things to do are. You're the one that gets to decide what's the life that you're creating. See, it's called you creating your life because you're designing it, not other people. Other people aren't creating that life for you. Other people aren't putting that life together for you. You're the one that's developing your life. You're the one that's putting it together. What do you want? Have you ever answered that question for yourself in a long time? What do you desire? If you could wave a magic wand, what would you wish could happen in your life? Now, let me ask you this. Why aren't you doing it? Why haven't you created it? I got two more minutes left. Why haven't you built it? What excuse have you come up with for why you're not worth making yourself a priority? And why you've given up the authority of your life to other people? Why you've given up your life choices to the situations that are going on in your life, why you've given up on your dreams and the hopes that you have. Because you are afraid of things not working out. Because you're afraid of things not going your way. It's time to choose to stop doing that today. It's time to choose to create the life you want. That no matter who says you can't have it. That no matter who says you're not allowed to, no matter who says that you're wrong or bad or evil or wicked, and that they're going to come after you and stop you for creating the life that you want. That you still go after it. And that's what I want to inspire you to today. That's what my hope is with this podcast, that I inspire you to create the life you've always dreamed of. That's why it's called the Grow youw Life podcast. I love you guys. I love everybody who listens to this, and I'm excited for this next year. Grow your life, everybody, and we'll talk soon. Have a good one.