214: Embracing Radical Self-Acceptance for Business Success - #GrowYourLife

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to the Grow youw Life podcast. My name is Jeremiah Krakowski, and on this podcast I help you grow in your life, your business, to make more money. If you're a coach, trainer, mentor or speaker, these strategies are going to work for you. And I'm going to talk about something today that's been controversial. I've had people not like when I talk about this, shut me down, attack me, things like that, say that it's unethical, etc. So realize that what I'm about to share is very risky, but it'll change your life in a positive way if you actually apply it. What do I mean by that? Is total radical self acceptance. Accepting yourself no matter what you do. And you can understand why some people would see this as dangerous thinking and think that I should be put in prison for recommending that you actually love yourself and honor yourself even after you make the biggest possible mistakes possible. And that you actually encourage yourself and give yourself the most self compassion and the most self love when you mess up the hardest, or when things don't go how you wanted them to, or whatever. That when you feel like, oh, I'm screwing up, I'm messing up, that you actually say, you know what? It's okay, I'm human today and this is part of my human experience. And I'll tell you this, it'll make you a whole heck of a lot more money in your business to be radically self accepting of yourself and not feeling like I have to be something else today in order to succeed. I have to become something I'm not. I have to pretend I have to fulfill an obligation that somebody else has placed on me. I have to fill a role over here because somebody has told me that I have to do that. And I have to prove and validate that I'm good enough based on how I perform and what I produce. And I want to eradicate that thing thinking, which is in our culture and society, everything at all level of society tries to pressure you into doing everything perfect, holding yourself accountable, which I believe in self accountability. But there's also a level of extreme, unnecessary and really unhealthy quote, unquote accountability. And let me explain what I mean by that, this is why this is controversial, is when every little thing that you do, you're just beating yourself up over, you're just constantly self punishing yourself. It's this punishing level of, of accountability of, okay, I gotta, I gotta hurt myself now because I made a mistake and that I have to, I have to now work a thousand times harder and make it harder on myself to earn the right to be worthy of success because I failed this one time or because I did this thing that I am not proud of, or I made this choice that I'm not proud of. You know, I've made some choices in my life I'm not proud of. And, and they had consequences that I had to suffer. But I would challenge you. And this is. Listen, I believe in the rule of law and criminals being put in jail for doing bad things to people understand that. I also believe that you need to get to a place where you do not fear consequences of your actions and you're able to step out with boldness, not walking timid and afraid of how something might pan out because of what you did. That you just go out there with excitement, happiness, joy. You don't really worry, you throw all caution to the wind. You recklessly step into the next season in your life. I encourage this often with my high level coaching clients. And this is one of the most misunderstood things that people believe that I'm sharing. Here's why is I came from an extremely straight laced, hyper religious Christian background where it was like a cult and it wasn't healthy. And so for me, I naturally gravitate towards perfectionism, a high level of self discipline, getting a ton of stuff done and over stressing myself out to make sure that I do all the things I need to do. I will beat myself up more than anybody else will about what I'm not doing right in my life and what I could be doing better. But, but here's the thing that can only help you so far. And there is some help in our lives from the inner critic pointing out to us, hey, we should do this, we should be doing that, that's okay. But if it turns into obsession around what you're not doing, good enough. See, here's the thing. I become obsessed with the results of my clients and where I'm headed and the vision for my life and where God has called me and where I'm headed to go. I'm obsessed with that. But I cannot get obsessed with the negativity and the mistakes and trying to make them all perfect. You just can't. It will bog you down, it'll drain your energy and you won't have any energy to actually do the thing that you were called to do. And so if you're a coach, if you're a trainer, if you're a mentor, I believe that especially in your marketing, that especially for you to Reach your goals to make a half a million dollars a year, to make the kind of income that you want to make. You have to be willing to put yourself out there flippantly without fear and worry of how things could be taken or might go wrong or what people might say to you. The other thing is this is, you know, we need to have self control when it comes to our social media to not be doom scrolling all day. We can end up gaslighting ourselves into believing a lie about ourselves. My brain has done this to where I even start criticizing myself as not being good enough and accusing myself of things that I never even did. Literally false accusations that my brain ends up telling me about, oh, they're gonna think you did this, they're gonna think you're doing that. They're gonna. And all these worst case scenarios, if you're somebody who operates out of worst case scenario thinking in your life and you're trying to reach a goal, those two things are going to be in conflict with each other and you're not going to be able to reach that goal because you're going to be so tethered and attached to preventing the negativity from happening. When it ends up happening really is because more like a self fulfilling prophecy where you create the very thing that you feared the most to where the very thing that you didn't want to happen happens. And then you wonder, how did I get here? Well, you can either learn or you can keep moving forward. I don't believe in losing or being a loser. I believe that you can win or you can learn to do it better next time. And when you have that mindset, from the scientific experimentation methodology to where everything that you're doing is just an experiment, it's just an experiment on how this audience is going to respond. This piece of content is an experiment over here. I'm just testing things out just to see how they react, how they connect, how they continue forward. I'm just testing the waters all the time to see how something's gonna go. And if you make this your mission to just keep experimenting with the ideas that you have and you don't take yourself too seriously, you don't take your business too seriously. I get it. It might be serious business. But at the end of the day, have fun with it. Do the most fun thing, even if it seems silly. Spend time doing what's fun. Give yourself the grace to sleep, to rest. And I understand we have different extenuating circumstances, especially if you have kids. I just had a newborn baby in January and so my life has been shaken up by that in the best of ways, in the most positive way. And now I've had to learn, you know what, I don't have to be so critical of myself in order to make sure that I do the things that I need to do, that I can give myself the grace to not have to take as much time to get stuff done, that I, I can drop some balls. That's okay. I don't have to do everything that everybody expects of me. Are you kidding? There's people right now. If I did everything that everybody wanted me to do, I would go crazy because I would not have the capacity to even come close to doing all the things that everybody around me says that I need to be doing and that I'm doing wrong and all that. And then my brain ends up repeating in my brain the criticism and it starts validating and creating this self reinforcing mental loop of, you're not good enough and you need to perform better and do better and rise up to a higher level in order to be worse. Making the kind of money you want to make, having dream clients and having the life you want to live, and this is a big fat lie that you have to be different and reach a next level before you're ready to experience all the amazing things that are out there for you. You're qualified right now, you have everything inside of you right now to make the kind of money that you want to make in a coaching business. And you do not have to go to the next level or anything like that now. Sure, we enjoy a growth mindset. It's called the Grow your Life podcast. I believe in us growing and changing and transforming. And as coaches, that's what we have an opportunity to help people with. But we can't be so tethered to, oh, I'm not where I want to be, I'm not where I should be, I'm not where I should be, I'm not where I should be. Instead of gratitude for where you're at right now, at this moment in time and say, I'm right where I need to be, and start to believe that and start to own that and start to be thankful for where you're at right now, start to be grateful for the situation that you're in and not be so focused on what you don't have yet, what isn't where, or what hasn't worked out for years, what hasn't gone your way for years, and learning to love yourself enough to take care of yourself, to get yourself out of a fight orf flight state to calm your nervous system down, to be joyful and give yourself more days and more opportunities where you're thankful and joyful and having a great time and doing the things that you love and starting to retrain your brain that I am worthy of taking care of myself no matter how I perform, no matter what level I'm at. And so I want to encourage you right now. Maybe you've been saying, listen, once I reach this level, then I'm going to treat myself in this way. I want you to go treat yourself this week. I want you to go treat yourself this weekend and watch how that's going to change your thinking. Watch how that's going to change what you do in your life, what your, what your day feels like. I'm so sad when I see people working harder than they need to because they feel like they have to. Perfectionism and the amount of time that we invest making everything perfect in our marketing, what matters the most is the sales copy. And that's words and there's no even graphics behind that. We can get so caught up in all this irrelevant stuff in our marketing and what needs to be done and what needs to be accomplished in our business that we miss out on the beautiful things that are right in front of us that can radically transform our life if we just take it, if we just do something with it, if we just move forward with it. And so I want to just encourage you. You don't have to wait until a certain day or a certain moment in time, or that you reach a certain level, or that you get through a certain breakthrough, or that certain pieces line up enough so that then you can finally be worth the goals that you have. Go after them with reckless abandon. Have some fun. Create an offer, create a live event, create some kind of a coaching offer that you can sell to people and start believing that you're worth people buying from. The amount of sales that you can make in your business is directly related to your own level of self esteem and self belief that you have yourself. I am worth making this much money. If you don't think that you're worth people paying you that much, they're not gonna pay you anything. They're not gonna give you any money in your business because people can smell the desperation. They can smell that you don't believe in yourself and it repels the right people because they don't want to work with an insecure person. And so again, don't be beating yourself up because you're now Acting like an insecure person, thinking things like that. Realize you are more powerful than you give yourself credit for and start walking in that authority and start walking in that belief and start believing that nothing is impossible for you, that everywhere that your feet go, greatness happens and that you rise in the morning with greatness every single day and then go out there and go after it. Now you might say, listen, that's a load of phooey, Jeremiah. I got no evidence that proves that. Well, have some faith on what you can't see right now. Step out in faith and do something that maybe you've never done before. I can tell you this, the system that we teach, the system on how to grow a coaching business works, produces multiple six figure results. The only thing that's stopping you is learning the system and applying the work and applying it and building a coaching business. Because we get too stuck in our head, we get too caught up in our thoughts and we talk ourselves out of the very thing that we feel called to do. And so listen, I want to just encourage you today, if you feel called to build a coaching business, a mentoring business, jump into one of the live events that we're doing. I'm doing a couple this month. I'm hosting a five day event May 8th through the 12th. And I truly, truly believe no matter where you're starting from, you can have six figure success in a coaching business. But you're not if you don't believe in yourself and you're not going to if you don't believe it's possible for you. But I know it's so easy to make that much money. I'm going after an eight figure goal because we have surpassed multiple six figures so many times over already. Listen, I know that you can succeed. Don't talk yourself out of it just because maybe you weren't raised to talk this way or maybe you think it's silly to. You can be successful and you can make the kind of money that you want to make. And I'm excited to be here for you, to help you, to guide you, to direct you. If you need help or guidance, you can always post on my YouTube channel any questions that you have, any comments that you have. And listen, jump on the waiting list for my client Growth accelerator. When we open the doors to the Client Growth Accelerator, the group coaching program, I'd love to have you join us and help you create the life and the business that you've always dreamed of. Grow your life. Everybody have a great week. We'll talk soon. Have a good one.