249: Selling By Letting Go Of The Sale - #GrowYourLife

Hey, everyone. Thanks for listening to the Grow youw Life podcast. My name is Jeremiah Gracowski, and on this podcast I talk about ways for you to grow in your life and your business, to be able to make more money, impact more people, and live the life of your dreams. Now, today, I'm gonna be playing a video game called Dark Souls 2. It's one of my favorite games. It's one of the hardest games that exists. I'm towards the end of the game, so I have a really overpowered character. You know, you can kind of see his statistics right here, all the different player stats that I have and all that. So you can see it in the lower corner. As far as this goes again, this is part of a new kind of trial run of doing podcast episodes while I play various video games. And this one I like because basically you level up your character, you defeat all these crazy bosses, and it's just, it's hard. It's kind of like business a little bit. It reminds me of business in a way that it's so difficult, you know, to defeat, but it's so worth it to keep striving to do that. And so what I want to talk about today is it's a. It's part of the dance of making money in your business. It's part of the dance of striving. And it's one of the things that I think a lot of people get wrong when it comes to their businesses online. They're focused in on the wrong stuff. They're, they're, they're really focused in on the thing that's not going to produce money for them. And that's the problem that I see with so many coaches and mentors is being focused on stuff that doesn't actually produce cash flow. All right, there we go. Awesome. So my character didn't even get scratched right there. So one of the issues that I, that I see is that many business owners are way too concerned with what other people might think about them, how they might appear to other people. And I often hear this. You know, you only have one shot at a first impression, so don't mess it up. This type of thinking is. Obviously there's some truth to that, of course, but I don't worry about what my first impression is with people, with what they think about me, with what their opinions of me are. Why is that? Well, because, to be honest, I've made a decision to not build a business in a co dependent fashion overall. And codependency means that I. That I am more worried and giving more effort to your success than you're even willing to give yourself. And it's just not something that I am ever really willing to do in business when it comes to sales. Oftentimes I see people in the beginning, striving, struggling, trying to make people buy from them and trying to make people understand what they do. Now, there comes a time where, yes, you got to speak truth to get people to act. I was just talking with my mom about that today. It's like some people really need to be woken up from their. They're sort of, I guess you could say, like, slumber, as it were. Their slumber is that they, you know, they need. They need somebody sometimes to just say the tough things, to actually wake them up out of not doing what it's going to take for them to succeed. Of course. Right. But ultimately, you know, what does that look like? That, that. That looks like you being willing to let people go, you being willing to let people fail, you being willing to. Even if people reject your offer, even if people don't buy into it, even if people say, hey, I don't want this, it's not your job to convince any of them that they should, quote, unquote, change their mind or do anything differently based on this. And so that's one of the things that I, that I often tell a lot of the coaches and mentors that I meet is that you're working way too hard on other people's success, managing their feelings, managing their opinions way too deep. When in fact, it's time to just kind of give up that crown altogether and just focus on the ones who truly love to engage with you, the ones who actually are connecting with your message and the ones that are actually doing something with you. And listen, not everybody is going to do anything with what you give them as far as that goes. And so, hey, keep that in mind. That. Oh, man. And there I died. You died. Well, I did not do good there. It's not your job to make anybody buy from you. I'm okay with a hundred percent if somebody just completely rejects me, just completely wants nothing to do with me in my business, and even bad mouths me or said stuff, and I never have to defend myself. And what we found is that when you run Facebook ads, oftentimes when you run Facebook ads, the more negative comments you get, actually, the better overall. And I know a lot of some coaches, I know some very successful mentors and coaches who strive so hard to not have any negative comments come in on their social media. They're really focused in on, like, this whole, like, managing my reputation thing. And they see it as themselves, I guess, being a bad coach. If anybody has a bad experience with them and that everybody should, quote, unquote, get a result from what they're doing. Here's the thing. You could have the best coaching, the best course, the best training, and people will still not get a result because people are people. And also, notice, not every offer works. Sometimes we still have to test. No, sometimes we still have to test our offers out. We have to test new offers out just to kind of, you know, see what happens. And not all the time will they. Will they work, but it's still part of the process to at least. At least try. And one of the biggest things that I see that people do is they're afraid of things not working out. And so they don't do anything really in their business overall because they let fear sort of run them. They let the fear kind of, kind of control them. And so what you got to learn how to do is you got to learn how to not let these types of situations get you knocked up. You're going to sell more when you stop trying to control, manage and maintain what other people do, and you learn to disqualify people that aren't a good fit for you. That's one of the biggest amateur mistakes I see people make, is they're trying to say, well, you know, I don't want to miss out on anybody. I don't want to miss opportunity. And the fear of missed opportunity really is a. Is a. Is a poverty mindset. It's a lack mindset. It's rooted in stuff that's just not even good for you because it's going to lead you to do things that are actually going to hurt you in the long run, but you're going to think that you're helping yourself. And that's what I see a lot of coaches and mentors do, is they are. They're afraid of what everybody might think about them. They don't want to set a bad impression, quote, unquote, a bad first impression. And so what they do is they literally spend all their effort trying to make sure that people buy into what they're saying. I don't want to offend anybody. I don't want to say anything that upsets anybody. When the truth is if you upset or offend people, the ones that are not, that don't like you, you want them out of your space quickly. The ones that don't resonate with you, and it's not that you're trying to get people to hate you, you're. But you can automatically have people that do that just simply because you exist or breathe air on planet Earth. And so it's not, it's not your job to get anybody to change or believe in you or, or buy into, buy into anything. It's not your job to do that. Your job is to present the opportunity as best as you can. And if they reject it, if they say no, that's not on you to get them to quote, unquote, change their mind or do something differently. Okay? And so I think that once you, like, once you get that and once you start to operate from that framework of how you live your life and how you build your business, like I'm talking, like, this is a complete life change thing. This is a completely different way of even thinking and doing life overall as being completely and utterly un unconcerned. If quote, unquote, somebody doesn't become a client of yours or buy from you and that you just simply focus on the ones who really truly do resonate with your message overall. And you're not trying to convince anybody that they should change their mind about you or do anything differently. And I think that that is, that's a powerful position to take in your business. It's a position of power that allows you to have the kind of impact that actually you're truly meant to have. And I, and I meet a lot of people where they're not doing this, where they're afraid of losing people, where they're afraid of losing business, where they're afraid of missing out on the ultimate, like, opportunity or missing out on helping even somebody. And that they have it built up in their mind, this whole idea that, okay, I have to always help people or I'm a bad person. They have to always get a transformation. And listen, not everybody's going to get a transformation from you overall. So keep that in mind that sometimes it's okay if people don't get a transformation from you. If they, if they, if they meet you and they work with you and then maybe like something doesn't work out, you gotta stop being worried about disappointing other people overall. If you, if you ever in your business want to actually be financially successful because you could do the greatest things and yet you will still have people that don't like you overall that just are not, they don't resonate with you for whatever reason. They don't connect with you. And, and it's not your job to convince them otherwise. That they should ever. Period. End of story. There we go. We just defeated the boss. That's great. Victory achieved. And so that's just, that's what I wanted to share with you in this podcast, is that you're gonna make a lot more money when you stop trying to control, manage, maintain, really anything from anybody, period, overall. And, and, and I just, I see this so often with coaches, trainers, mentors, great people who have great impact that impact the world around them, that are doing great things, that have the potential for just absolutely incredible levels of greatness in their lives. And you can't defeat this guy right here. And yet they're so concerned with making themselves look good. People connect, you know, connecting with them and being afraid to lose a sale, being afraid of people disliking them, being afraid of people judging them a certain way. You know, this is why, like me playing a video game like this, even with the pauses that I'm doing and all that, you know, I used to be so concerned with how I sound and how I look on all my podcast episodes. Now I'm just like, you know what? I am completely unconcerned by this. This is cool. I've really progressed a lot further in the game than I ever did. I guess. I'm a. I'm. I'm the king. It's awesome because I got the King's ring, and the King's ring really is one of the biggest things that you want to have. That's cool. Where is the King's ring? King's ring? Bell keeper, King's ring. It opens the King's gate. All right, awesome. Let's go to the king's gate then. Stop worrying about what people think about you. Stop worrying about. Do they dislike you? Stop worrying about. Are you going to miss out on a potential sale because you offend somebody, upset somebody, they don't like how you do something there, I guarantee you there are people right now, they will not ever listen to me again because they see me playing this game, and I'm okay with that. And when you get to that place where you are truly unconcerned about what anybody thinks about you and you truly do not give a rip at all about anybody's opinions about you, you can make a ton more money. You're losing money by ever being concerned with what anybody thinks about you or what they do or if they buy from you or if they're. That, you know, if they're being worried that you're gonna possibly miss out out on any of those things. I mean, that Just really is like one of the guaranteed ways to make sure that you don't make any money. And for me, when I was building my business, worrying about am I making enough money, Am I connecting with people, Am I going to lose money? All that is just, it was really like one of the, one of the greatest things that stopped me from succeeding, reaching my, my goals overall. And, and now for me, I, I have found that I've been able to grow in these areas by being unconcerned, being able to grow my bottom line, being able to grow financially overall by being truly unconcerned with are they going to like me? Are they going to resonate with me? Are they going to be able to connect with me? Are they, am I going to lose somebody because, you know, their opinion of me somehow is negative because I'm doing or said something or because I didn't do something and because of that. So again, and hear me out. I'm not saying like you do anything that is criminal, defrauding people and anything like that. Like, people don't like you just because of like, arbitrary things. Like as simple as, again, me playing a video game. I've lost plenty of potential business because of that. And I am perfectly okay with that because I want to be myself. I want to be, I don't want to be anybody that I'm not simply to make people like me. That's, that's called lying to people. And I refuse to lie to people for business or money. That's a line I won't cross. And so, you know, we live in an industry where integrity is at stake at all corners. And your ability to be, be able to just be yourself, show up however you want, regardless of what anybody might think about you, what they might say, say whether you lose business if they go blast your name everywhere and say all this nasty stuff about you, doesn't phase me at all. I don't spend time managing or maintaining my reputation and I've actually lost business because people are concerned that I say that as to what that looks like because they are way too concerned about managing and maintaining their reputation. It's. The fact is, is that what I care about is impacting people, number one. That's one of the most important things to me is having impact on people's lives. Changing people's lives for the better is something that I truly care about and think that I have the ability to do as well. And so if you're watching this right now, if you're listening to this, you're going to make a lot more sales, and you just stop worrying what everybody thinks about you. You stop legitimately caring if they dislike you or not overall. So I just. I just want to encourage you that, you know, if you're somebody who. Sitting on my couch here, if you're somebody who wants to make money in your business, you want to make more money, and you want to change your life, you got to stop truly worrying about, am I going to possibly lose a sale because of this and this and this, and be more bold, Be more out there. Be however you want to be, and stop worrying how they think of you. And that is going to change everything for you. All right. All right. Listen. If this has helped you, share it with somebody, grow your life, everybody. We'll talk soon. Have a good one.