258: The Most Important Mindset Strategy - #GrowYourLife

Hey everyone, what is up? Welcome to the Grow youw Life podcast. My name is Jeremiah Krakowski and on this podcast we talk about ways for you to grow your coaching business. A membership site subscription model, how to be able to get people to stick with you, stay consistent and be able to create more money so you can make 5, 10, 25, 35, 50, $100,000 a month and beyond. We have clients that have actually made 10, even $20 million. I built my own businesses to over $10 million a year. And I want to show you how you can scale your business successfully online. We're going to talk about something I've been studying here recently that I've been applying in my life and that I've learned, I would say, over the course of the last 15 plus years of being in the space, even I got into the personal development space 21 years ago and I wish I knew these things before. What if you could tap into the right energy to show up at all times for your content, for writing your sales copy in your business, and how to create more finances for you? And what if it didn't have anything to do with weird tactics? Or maybe, you know, I have talked about how, like I'll sometimes use video games to get me into a flow state, things like that. Those are all cool and all, but there's something else that goes beyond that that I haven't quite talked about that's more related to mindset thinking, mental frameworks that I think you can use. And what if I was able to give you that mental framework that doesn't use anything else but how you look at the world today and it would affect you positively to reach your goals faster. That's what we're going to talk about here in this podcast today. Is what I have been learning, looking at, related to my own habits, my own behaviors, what has been stopping me and what has been holding me back. And some things that quite frankly, I'm embarrassed about, some things that I look at and I say, gosh, you know, what was I thinking up to this moment in time? And what it is, is this, is that we have a tendency as human beings to have attachment to things that are emotional. And we have these moments in our life. I've actually been reading this book. This has been inspiring part of this conversation called the Power of Moments. And it talks about how we have ebbs and flows in moments. They call it in the book pits and Peaks. And so a pit and a peak might look like that. You have, it goes below the baseline and above the baseline negative experience and positive experience. What is the pit and then what is the peak? And so what we have in life as a human being is we have these moments that they go like this and oftentimes they're very few and far between. But our memories are attached to a lot of these main moments. And what ends up happening is we end up remembering. And really our personality starts developing based on what happens during the high moments and the low moments. Okay, so I can talk about even my own experience, high and low moments of, you know, being able to build a business over $20 million a year in profit. I'm telling you, that was the moment in time when I felt like I was on top of the world. And financially. I just felt like I could do anything at the same time. Previously to that was when I was struggling with alcohol. And I ended up going to jail for drinking and driving. And that wasn't something that I was proud of. And I learned my lesson. I actually haven't drank alcohol in the last three years. And I'm very proud of that fact. That's a high moment for me. Now right here is that and the fact that I can actually look at multiple moments in my life where I didn't drink alcohol, that dreams in my life manifested. I. I had a business that became more successful. We now have two children. An amazing relationship with my wife came out of two times in moments when I didn't drink alcohol as well as this moment right here. So I can look at. Okay. Drinking alcohol always seems to correlate to some of the lowest moments in my life as far as that goes. Okay. So what ends up happening is we end up really like developing a lot of heightened state of awareness based on these things. Here's the problem though. Okay. As human beings, we end up replaying a lot of the negative occurrences that we have, especially when it comes to our interactions with people. And when it comes to working with people and coaching people, we have this beautiful thing in our brain called the reticular activating system. What it does is it helps the brain sort out what is important and what is not. And when something is more emotionally charged, it shows up more as more important to the brain. Unless you can program it to stop paying attention so much to those things. Things as far as it goes. And it does this on autopilot. Why? For survival. The brain is very good at keeping you alive, but not thriving. Okay. By default, your. Your brain. And if you live in society today, if you're on social media, your brain is going to Be focused to seek after more dopamine, more heightened, exciting moments. And what ends up happening, though, is it really only does so to keep you alive just enough that you don't go off the rails and take too much risk, because then you don't want these negative things to happen. As far as this goes. So I can look at in my life the mistakes that I've made. There's wisdom that I learned, there's activities, there's things that I just simply won't do because otherwise I know that everything else in my life starts steering in the wrong direction. There's activities in my life as well that I can notice that I will do, that things start moving in the directions that I want to in my life. I can tell you growing my email list in my business and fully believing in myself, with total confidence in my message and what's inside of me to where I have, after 21 years, believe. You know, I've been studying what is. What does it take to truly be an expert and a master at your craft, as far as that goes? I am working towards the highest level of mastery at what I do as a coach and as a mentor because I want to be the best in the world at what I do. Not so that I can say that I'm the best, but for the impact that that's going to have on my clients. And anybody who follows me knows that that's exactly what I work towards, and they have seen the progress in that. And thank you for following my journey along the way in this. But what I want to show you is that I've been learning a few things in this that we have to do that will accelerate us on this journey. Our brain ends up dwelling on a lot of these pits. We end up paying attention to a lot of the negative things, and we end up focusing on what do we want to avoid, what do we not want to happen repeatedly in our life? We don't want to occur again and again and again. Now, here's the thing. These things that happen negatively taught us wisdom. You had a crappy relationship. You. You worked with a toxic boss. You had a client that was abusive that you might have worked with, and you don't want to work with clients like that again. So there's positives and negatives to this. Okay, so what is the positive of that moment right there? The positive is that I recognize red flags. I notice what I don't want. I have adjusted my marketing to avoid working with, let's just say, clients, people that I don't want to work with. The problems with this is that I'm working so hard to avoid those people. I may actually repel really good people that I want to work with because I'm focused so much, and I don't want to run into these people. And here's the other problem, that when we're so focused with our energy and I want to avoid these people, everybody starts looking like the things that we want to avoid. Everybody starts acting in certain ways that trigger our red flags. And we can really start to go crazy with this to where we're like, okay, everybody's a red flag and nobody's safe to be around. And that's kind of an extreme way off to the other extreme of like, you have no boundaries to where it's like, okay, everybody, we're blocking out of our life as far as that goes. And I would say that there's a healthy balance of you can grow in strength to where, okay, there's patterns of behavior that if I notice them in people, I'm not going to work with those people. But I can notice that maybe some of the people that had certain red flags, there were green flags that they had that as long as somebody has those green flags, but not those red flags, I don't need to avoid those people. That's called wisdom, as far as that goes. Okay. Because we can always look at the good in people as long as we don't avoid noticing when the red flags come up. And this is just kind of even a relationship thing, as far as that goes. Oftentimes the people that we're really meant to work with have certain traits of very hard relationships that we had that were very negative. And that's why we're drawn to those people. And so when we work so hard to avoid people that are just like that, if we. And I noticed this with clients that I'm coaching, they listen to me teach, and they're like, wow, you sound like that coach that screwed me over. You sound like that mentor that stole all my money. And I'm like, I'm not. I promise. You know, But I get it, because my marketing. I'm sure we market in a similar way. I'm sure we talk in a similar way. We have a certain cadence that we use in a similar way. And so when your brain is so focused so much on what you're trying to avoid and what you're trying to protect yourself in, it actually starts to project into every scenario that everybody is like this. And we actually start attracting a lot of what we don't want because it ends up becoming a self fulfilling prophecy as far as that goes. It's again, it's part of the reticular activating system. We are drawn like a magnet to the thing that we are noticing so much about as far as that goes. And we end up even seeing things that aren't there in certain situations. Now again, coming back to this, maybe you've been abused, you had trauma, you've dealt with some evil people, terrible people. They exist, right? They did horrible things. I'm so sorry that happened. And we do not want to go into situations like that again. We need to make sure that we have boundaries, that we don't do that. What I'm encouraging you is this, is that we're not looking for the good in these negative people, but we're not going to dwell on. We're not going to spend all of our energy focused on the negative stuff that we experienced in our past that we want to avoid happening and all the negative stuff that we don't like that's happening in our life. Because all we're gonna see is it's a snowball of in our brain, our neurotransmitters, they literally start building new neurological lines inside of our head that all it sees is this crappy stuff that's not working out as far as this goes. And so for you to actually be successful, listen, we want to learn the wisdom from this. We don't want to forget what they did to us, what happened, those things we want to avoid, those relationships that we don't want to get into, those nightmare clients that I don't want to take their money from, right? However, if all I'm focusing on is what I don't want, what I'm not wanting to attract, what I don't want in my life, what's terrible, what's horrible. I miss out on noticing the good, exceptional and great things that are actually all around me. And I believe that all of us actually have beautiful, exceptional, amazing things. But the reason why we can't see it is because we are so focused on the crappy stuff that's happening. And one of the biggest reasons and ways that we can actually solve this is if we can heal from the trauma and heal the pain from the PTSD that occurred and actually start to integrate and heal our personality and heal from these experiences to realize that what tried to break us, what tried to hurt us, listen, we're still going to have that boundary. We're still going to say, I'm not going there Totally fine. That's great. But we're not going to play the victim anymore. We're not going to have a victim mentality. Oh, they did this to me. So that's why now I am this way. All I can think about is what they did to me. That's what I was dealing with is all I could think about for like years, was what other people were saying to me. And that what was coming out of me was trying to defend myself against them every single time I opened my mouth. Until I realized this one thing. That the brain is actually a really crazy thing that we don't even fully understand. It exists inside of your skull. And it takes inputs from around you, through your eyeballs, through your, your five senses. As well as we have intuition, we can feel things, we can sense things. There's even things that we don't understand about it and that go so deep that create our personality, our experiences, our beliefs and all of that. And even dive into spirituality as well. But what I found is this, is that our brain actually creates our reality. And we actually co create the reality that we're in along with everybody else who's in our lives around us, along with the people that are around us as well as along with God, with Holy Spirit. And that all of this works together in the beautiful creation that God put together by design. And what's funny is there's people that are out there in the tech world. They almost look at it as like, is it a simulation? Are we living in a computer simulation? Because you start to see the interworkings and the intertwined stories of how all of this comes together. And there's some sort of an intelligence that's going on with this. And if you study quantum physics and entanglement, it's like very interesting how things are not as by mistake as they look like. As far as that goes now there's free will, there's, there's, there's choice, there's a lot of randomized chance and things like that that happens that we don't see correlations to and we don't understand. Not debating that we can't explain everything we don't know how to. Our brain literally only goes based off of one thing and one thing only. Our experiences, the stories that we've learned from other people, what we've established inside of us and our memories to create the world and the perspective of the world that we see. And so what ends up happening is if all you're focused on is the negative. You are dwelling in a world that is just replaying the negative. So you are actually living in the past. Have you ever heard that people say that you're living in the past and you don't want to live in the past? The reason why people say that we are living in the past is because we are literally in our mental thoughts still there in the situation where those bad things happen to us. And so our physical body might literally be in the here and now where none of that is happening. But a projection of what did happen before is all that we see. And then we end up reacting to it and as if it's happening. I'm afraid that I'm going to lose money with my Facebook ads. I'm afraid that I'm going to lose money trading stocks. I'm afraid that the housing market. And so I'm going to sell and I'm going to. Or I'm going to rent or I'm going to avoid taking risk because I don't want that thing to happen to me again. And I'm trying to avoid those things from happening to me if that's all we're focused on. And that gives me a headache to think about. It really does. Freedom comes when you start paying attention to and visualizing a beautiful future for yourself. What's the life that you're creating? What's the life that I'm making for my family? What are the beautiful relationships that I have, the connections that I'm developing with other people? And then when I brain starts going to all the negative see, not the wisdom or the lessons learned, but actually where I'm starting to visualize, I'm literally seeing a mental movie in my mind of how people hurt me. Me, I put a stop sign up where I'm not going to go back to watching that film again. I'm not going to watch that tape. I'm not going to go watch that old TV show in my head that's trying to program me that that's the existence or the experience that I'm experiencing right now. Because that is not the life that I choose to live. And so we get to create our reality based on where we put our focus. So if I put my focus towards my family and my friends and building my business and creating an incredible life for myself, then towards my faith, literally all the beautiful amazing things about that that I'm focusing on starts to come together. I start recognizing opportunities and ideas and ways that we can put stuff together and ways to make more money and ways to do this. But if we're so focused on what we don't have and what we wish we had. See, that's the thing. Part of the problem is we can either live in the past or we can live in the future. And neither of these is helpful. This is called anachronistic thinking, where we end up not being focused on the reality because we're only so focused on a dream. So what we need to do is we need to bring this down into the present moment and learn how to be present with this. And this is what a lot of the work. If you're working with a good therapist, somebody who actually understands how to integrate the mind and the different parts that we have from the experiences that we have, as well as learning and training yourself and disciplining yourself not to escape to the future. By the way, nostalgia and future thinking can be a form of escapism because we don't like what we're experiencing, we're dysregulated. Our nervous system is always in a state of chaos and anxiety. And when you can learn to calm that nervous system down and to be present with the present moment, you can hear clearly the inner voice that's inside of you. What is God speaking to me? What does my intuition say? Instead of focusing in on, oh, I don't want this bad thing to happen to me here, I start noticing what I need to do today in the here and now. And this week. Is there a phone call that I need to make that's to going to help me Do I need to go set this up on my business? Oh, I got a great idea that I think is going to help me because I saw something on social media that is going to help me grow my business. I found an event that maybe I'm hosting that that can teach somebody how to create an offer. Jeremiah has a coaching program on how to be able to create and grow my coaching or membership business. Maybe I should sign up for that. And your brain starts to focus on the here and now of what you can do right now to take responsibility for the vision that you have. Without a vision, without visualizing your future, without the life you're creating and having hope and excited expectation for where you're headed, you won't have motivation. We'll struggle with it. We have to every single day discipline ourselves to go put one foot in front of the other. But can I tell you this? Your dreams will happen instead of you trying to figure out everything in the future so that you can avoid what's happening in your past by saying, what can I do today in the next two minutes, in the next two hours, in the next two days, to move things forward instead of trying to figure out the next five weeks, the next six months, or the next five years. Sure, it's great to have an overarching goal of that, but don't dwell on the past or the future so much. Dwell in the present moment of taking action, of what do I got to do today and tomorrow? And how can I be responsible for where I'm at today to start to experience the life that I am creating, not by what has been handed to me, but what I am building because I have the power to build anything. I imagine you do. You really do. Now, might it take you time? Sure. And that's why we got to, we have to, especially if your dreams or visions are big, stay in the present moment. Because otherwise we're going to be so focused on dreaming about the future that we never actually do anything. People that make impact, they are doers who do their dreams, but they don't stay stuck in dreamland. I was somebody who used to stay stuck in dreamland all the time. And my mentors used to tell me, jeremiah, you need to bring it down to earth. And I've learned what that means. I used to think bring it down to earth meant focus on my past and what has happened. And no, it actually is be present and be responsible. And it's interesting, having one son and another one on the way has taught me the importance of this, the responsibility that I have to my sons and the future that we have and what's happening with technology and artificial intelligence and the world that we're creating. And I see the responsibility that I have to my clients who trusted me to help point them on what is the direction to take and the pivots to make in their businesses to be able to experience the things that they want. And I believe you can do the same as well. And I'd love to work with you and help you do that. Stay plugged into my podcast, subscribe to my YouTube channel, make sure to join if you see different ads that I'm posting on social media, join some of the live events that I'm doing. And then when we open the doors to my accelerator program, my premier coaching program, I'd love to have you in there to work with you to help you learn how to bring all of this together with tangible, practical, actual, proven, step by step strategies that work to help you have the business and the life that you want. This has been you Grow youw Life. My name is Jeremiah Krakowski and I'll see you on the episode. The next episode. Grow your life, everybody. That's what it is. We're growing it and we'll talk soon. Have a good one.