278: How To Authentically Connect With Your Audience - #GrowYourLife

Hey, everyone. Thanks for listening to the Grow youw Life podcast. I'm excited that you're here. I'm excited for this episode. I've been studying something all week. By the way. I have a little bit of a head cold, so apologize for the sound being off. But the content is going to be fire today. And so if you can look past the sound of my voice, you're going to find that what I'm going to be talking about is going to be impactful. On our coaching call that we had with my group on Thursday, we talked about a concept that I've been studying a little bit, and I want to unpack it on this call with you to help you get a lot of impact. One of the biggest things I've noticed that prevents us from getting our offers out there, from launching. And let me just. Instead of talking about what prevents us, but what has prevented me, what have I struggled with, what have I been dealing with, is I have felt that I have to be very careful with how I say things, what I say, my tone of voice, how I come across, trying to present this perfect version of myself all the time to people. And I'll tell you this, it's not authentic. When I do that. I don't show up with the best content. My brain is too focused on sounding good, that I don't actually, like, say good stuff because I'm so focused on how I sound and look and act and all that stuff that the words actually coming out of my mouth are a lower tier of quality. I know that people follow me for the stuff that I actually say, and they actually want to hear it, that it's really good stuff. When I get out of my head, get out of my own way and stop worrying about, do I look right, sound right, am I acting right? And so I want to live by example on this. I want to share with you what I. What I learned and what I studied is this idea of the perfectionistic communicator part. So. So it goes beyond just perfectionism. Okay. Because that can. That can apply in many different ways. But now we're getting specific. And by the way, this is a great technique that you can use in your own life, is getting specific around those areas. Like if I just say you're a perfectionist, like, well, yeah, like that. That can be a good thing in some ways, but at the. At the same time, like perfectionistic communicator around the area of your communication, okay. I find for me, that doesn't work. I've tried it. It just I don't show up very well. And my clients who follow me, they have found the reasons why they don't launch their offers, they don't get them out there is they're worried about way too often how they sound, how their tonality is, if their words are perfect, the words they put in an email, if the words they put on their sales copy. And by the way, these are all things that are within our control to be able to produce better results. So this is where it's like a sort of a double edged sword because if you can improve the words, you say your tonality, all of that in a much better way and I'll have a better result. The problem is if you focus on that and your focus is having the perfect tonality, the perfect words, the part of your brain that actually is going to like come up with the good stuff to say the good words is going to be spending way too much energy on making sure we are sounding right, saying it in the right way and all of that instead of just flowing, just being ourselves. And I find that when I can just be myself and I can just show up in that way and I get out of my head of am I saying this right? Oh gosh, did I say those words right? Am I using the right tone? Am I connecting right? Two things crazily happen. I connect way better. My tone and all of that is better. Yes, there's a few areas where I mess up on yes, there's a few areas where I'm like not the best, I can scrutinize that. And I become my own worst critic. We become our own worst critic in these areas. And so a giving ourselves grace over our communication styles to just do our best. And if you can do that, the rest is going to work itself out. I promise you that if you can get into a place where you believe in yourself, that you think that you are the most amazing person out there that everybody should listen to, that's going to impact people, that you're the bee's knees, that you're awesome, that you're just the ish. You know, you're incredible at what you do and you show up with that self belief. It's not arrogance at all, by the way. It sounds like arrogance when I'm explaining it that way. But it's actually, it comes across actually in a very authentic, humble way, like a natural humility that people like and resonate with. You're not trying to get people to like you type of a thing. Whenever we're trying to get Somebody to like us. A connection goes out the window because we're in a defensive. And what we're trying to defend is proving that we're good enough to do the things that we already have evidence that we're good enough to do. And that's what I was experiencing my life. I have evidence like crazy. 21, almost 22 years in my industry of success doing what I've been doing, and yet feeling like, okay, I, I'm not going to appear good enough to people for them to want to work with me unless I have the perfect tonality, communication and all that, okay, something's got to give here. And, and, and that's where a lack of connection started to come in with people. And I was finding myself avoiding launching offers, avoiding sending emails, avoiding making social media content, avoiding making YouTube videos, avoiding recording even podcast episodes like this, because I felt like I had to make sure everything I said was perfect and really craft this perfect narrative. And I'll tell you again, there's some people they love that knock themselves out. I think they can go do that, but if they're not getting the results they want, and this is the key, whenever I do that, I don't get the results that I want in my business. And a lot of my clients don't either. I know, like, I can think of a handful of people off the top of my head who they are like that, and they actually do get really good results. Keep doing it if that's you, like, you know, that's awesome. But nine times out of 10, there's a different result you want to be getting than you are getting. And so if we can learn to kind of release some of that perfectionistic communicator part and like, give ourselves grace to. It's okay if you stutter or you say the wrong thing and then you correct it real quick, or like you got the wrong slightly body language or you use the wrong words on a sales letter or in an email, or like, it's okay to not have to be perfect. It's okay. You're not going to lose trust in people. And you might argue, well, that's not true. I will lose trust in certain people. I could lose potential business. People only do business with those that are professionals. Can I tell you this? Those people that you would lose would never do business with you in the first place ever. But you will lose people that you could actually do business with by needing to make everything perfect. And this is what I found was happening for me as I was pushing away the good people the people that I needed to work with, the people that I was meant to work with. When I do this and when I. When I just am myself, I'm not concerned about saying it all perfect and doing all the perfect stuff. I connect a lot better with people you might be noticing. Like, even this podcast episode is probably one of the better ones you've listened to for me. I'm sure you like how I'm flowing. Like, it feels like we're talking, we're connecting, we're sitting across a kitchen table together. That's what I'm talking about. I'm not caught up in my head. I am not even thinking about, am I saying this all perfect? Like I said, I have a stuffy nose. Like I said at the beginning of this, I apologize for that. I told you this is going to be some of the best content that you've heard me say. Whereas about a couple weeks ago, maybe I would have felt so upset that I had a stuffy nose and not even record something because of that. So if we can get out of that modality and into, let me just be myself. Show up however it lands, lands. Hope for the best. Stay consistent with actually doing the work rather than needing to do the work perfect. You will get far greater results every single time, especially when it comes to how you communicate. Your emails, your sales copy, your social media content, your video content, all of that. Any sort of form of external, outward communications that you're doing with people. Because that's where I was really struggling with it, and that's where I find some of my clients do as well. And if we can start to make peace with the fact that, like, it's okay, like, it's okay to just be ourselves and. And have confidence and belief in ourselves, that's not based on that. Oh, I feel confident because I'm doing perfect. No, it's because I feel confident because I'm amazing. And I know that people need to listen to me, and they're gonna get their socks knocked off by listening to me, and that everything in their life's gonna be better after they meet me. And I have that mentality, and I go into it with that mentality, and what comes out is the best stuff. All right, So I hope this has helped you pass it on to somebody who might need to hear this. This podcast is worth sharing. Make sure you follow and listen. If you're a coach, trainer, mentor, and you want to have me become a part of your success strategy, come alongside you, mentor you, coach, you become your support, your accountability be able to point out. Are your ads right? Is your sales copyright? How's your presentations? How's your landing pages? All of the aspects of your business? And you want me to work with you to make all that stuff actually work? Incredibly. Would love to have you be a part of our client growth accelerator program. So I work with people on that every single week, and I'd love to help you with that as well. All right, we'll talk soon. Go.