36: Become A Decisive Leader And Stop Overthinking - #GrowYourLife

Hello and welcome to the Grow youw Life podcast. My name is Jeremiah Krakowski. Hey, listen, if you haven't taken me up on the offer for free coaching, go on over to my Instagram. Leave growyourlife on any post that I do on Instagram to win a free 30 minute coaching session with me. It's not a sales pitch. It's a way to find how to get you from where you are to where you want to be. A full coaching session. And if you don't believe me, check out in the group, the GrowYourLife group. There's people in there, over a thousand people just like you that are growing in their life and in their business. And people are leaving comments about these coaching sessions and what's happened with them. You can also win once per month. You don't have to only win once. So if you've entered before, you can enter again by leaving hashtag grow your life on my Instagram. I'm also doing a very special promotion right now until January 1, 2020, where you can get coaching with me regularly. Fifteen hundred dollars an hour for only $400 for one hour session paid or $1000 for three hours. And if you're somebody that wants to do that, you're serious about taking your business to the next level, going from where you are right now to where you want to be. Send me a DM. I want to talk with you for 30 minutes and just find out where you're at. This is separate from the free coaching deal. This is more of a get to know you type of a thing before we do the full on coaching engagement. So if you're serious about that, let me know and we can schedule a time for us to hop on the phone together today. I want to talk about being decisive and stopping overthinking. Stop worrying about what other people think. Stop fearing failure. Stop worrying about taking a chance on things that might actually help you get to the next level. That comes from a place of not being serious or solid in your identity and knowing who you are and where you are starting. And if you're somebody that is a leader, you have to get this one down to stop overthinking. Now you might be saying, well, I'm not a leader. Well, actually you are. Everybody is a leader. They are a leader of their own life. Whether you impact people and lead other people, you still have to learn to lead yourself. And learning how to lead yourself comes from quitting this overthinking bug, Quitting this fear of failure bug, quitting this not Knowing who you are or being solid in your convictions and then staying silent, not asking questions because you're afraid of what might happen. Not taking the chance to step out and do something that you've never done before because, well, that's what I heard might happen, or that's what they said might happen, or I'm just worried because I don't understand it all. You have to develop conviction, you have to develop faith. You have to have faith. And faith comes by hearing and faith comes from knowing. And you know, inside of you it's not just I say I have faith, but really I'm scared inside. It's knowing that I know that I know that I know that nothing can tell me that this is not the right thing. Now I'm all about hearing other things and growing and actually upgrading our mindset, upgrading how we've looked at the world around us, upgrading how we look at the world to effectively go after our goals. And so in our life we have these three stages. We have identity, we have identifying our purpose, and then we have our strategy to get to our destiny. And it's a roadmap along the way. You have to first identify that identity. A lot of people struggle with this. They're indecisive, they don't know what they want, or they're afraid to say what they want. And they believe that if I declared it, if I let people know that I would be judged, that I would look silly, that people wouldn't take me seriously, or that I would lose out, that I would experience pain or punishment by doing the thing that I want to do. And so I'm going to stay silent, I'm going to stay safe. I'm going to stay in my comfort zone for you to grow your life. If you're somebody who's listening to this right now, I believe that you want to go further to the next level in your life, that you want to get to that next level in your business, in your family, in your wealth, in your relationships, in your spirituality, whatever that thing is, you want to grow. And that comes from establishing convictions and being decisive and not being a flip flopper, not being thrown left or to the right. But let me add this to this, okay? This is where people get it messed up. Just because you're decisive on one thing at one time in your life does not mean that you are not allowed to change your mind. Because saying that you're not allowed to change your mind when a better scenario is presented to you is actually indecision and fear of failure. Fear of punishment, fear of pain of what might happen if you make that new decision, fear of worrying how you might look to people. Fear of being judged because you're judging yourself. And yet in the back of your mind, you're actually indecisive. In the back of your mind, you're actually holding those two scenarios in your mind, and you're not being decisive. And so that's what I'm talking about, is learning to stop overthinking things when you have conviction. If you're torn between two ideas, you need to decide which one and stay solid in that until there's a new scenario presented to you for you to then make a decision on. You have to choose to make decisions about where you are going. When you look at your life, when you look at your business, when you have goals, when you have a roadmap to a goal, you see a goal and you work it backwards to where you are right now. Once you identify where you are and you take ownership over where you are, I'm not talking about disassociating from where you really are and pretending like you're somebody else, pretending like you're not at that place because you want ignorance. You see, ignorance is bliss. But knowledge, understanding and decision are freedom, and so is discipline. And so this is about disciplining yourself to make a decision and be decisive instead of wondering and worrying and being tossed to and fro and sitting in your mind in the balance of overthinking. Overthinking is like mind putty. Overthinking sucks the creativity out of your life. Not being willing to take a chance sucks all of the creativity out of your life. It takes the boldness and the courage away from you because you're not bold enough and you're not courageous enough to go after that thing. And all of us have those things that we have to come face to face to with boldness and with courage and to stop being a coward in our life. You see, I look at people that are in business, not judgmental, but with hope and love, and I say, oh, they don't even know. They don't even know what's possible for them because they're indecisive and not willing to take a chance to do something that they've never done before. Maybe it's doing videos every day on social media. Maybe it's running Facebook ads. Maybe it's getting a coach or getting a consultant into your company. Maybe it's registering for a course that is going to help you get from where you are. To where you want to be and grow in the knowledge and understanding from somebody else's wisdom. And yet you're afraid to do that. Maybe it's listening to a podcast that might say something that might possibly trigger you, that might possibly not be exactly what you believe, one to one. And you're worried because you're so indecisive with your life anyways that you can't have the discernment to know what's best for you. And you're relying on other people to decide your life for you. You're relying on the news media, you're relying on people at your church, you're relying on your family, your friends to tell you how to live your life. And not choosing to live your life with belief and conviction, even if doing that means failure, even if it means falling flat on your face, even if it means struggling for a little bit, looking stupid, people not getting it, people misjudging you, even if people lie about you, even if people believe something that is entirely opposite of what the truth is. When you're decisive, when you are willing to take a chance to stop worrying what other people think, to have conviction, that's when you know that you're starting to get clear in your identity. And I believe that we can get clear in our identity of who we are. You see, a lot of us believe that we are the sum total of our life up to this point in time. And that is not true, my friends, that is not true. The truth is, is this, is that when you were born, the moment that you were born, your identity didn't change. From the time that you were a baby, you were born and created with a purpose and made with a calling that God put on your. You were made with a destiny that the divine Creator put into your life. But because of free will and choice, we all have the choice whether to follow that or allow everything in our life to build up the sum total of all of our experiences. And we have to decide, are those experiences going to define me or am I going to define myself? And in those areas where we struggle to define ourselves, because trust me, I know what that's like and I know what it's like to be afraid to make decisions. And this is where my conviction and my belief in God and the Creator of the universe and the destiny that I know that he's appointed, even if it doesn't make sense to anybody else around me, even if every single person around me disagrees with the thing that I'm doing, my conviction is solid. Knowing that this is where I'm going. This is where I'm headed, and I'm in the right place at the right time. And then saying, God, those areas that I don't know, that I'm indecisive, please help me. I need you to help me. And give up the pride and the ego, believing that you can do it on your own, believing that you know more than the one that created you. Okay? And give it up to God's plan and say, God, show me. Give me a sign. You see, a lot of people are afraid to ask God to give them a sign. I grew up with this teaching of, you know, if God has to show you a sign, then it's not really faith. No, faith is saying that I'm going to follow down that path. And as I'm going in the right direction with faith, I'm going to trust that it will be revealed to me that this is the right direction, or it will be revealed to me that it is not the right direction. That's faith, having trust that I don't have to understand it all to head in that direction, that I don't have to have it all together, and that I don't have to be analytical. Being analytical is putting more faith in your mind and your person and yourself above God and making an idol that says, listen, I don't need you, God. Here, I got it. You can take a break. And that's what people do constantly, on a regular basis. I'm talking about establishing wisdom. I'm talking about building decisions and conviction based on not just what we've experienced, but also from what we've observed, what we see that other people have experienced and what we know to be truth based on our conviction and our identity about our purpose. And you have to get clear on that, my friends, for you to go after your calling and your destiny, you have to decide that. No human being can tell me that I'm headed in the wrong direction based on decision. Now, I love getting counseling. I love getting consulting. I love getting mentorship from people who have been there before and done it before and can teach the lessons along the way, teach the failures along the way. I'm not talking about denying that. I'm talking about getting opinions from other people that aren't doing it when you're the one that's actually doing it or staying inactive because you're worried about what might happen when you start to take that first step in that direction and that thing scares you and that thing terrifies you of what might happen. How might My friends judge me. What might people think about me? You know, if they think this is not true, it's going to affect me negatively, yada, yada, yada. And we build this framework in our life based on how powerful we believe other people are and how powerless we think that we are in our lives. And so then we use manipulation. We use disappointment. We use the words that we say to try to control other people. We try to mold the situation to our will. See, the truth is, this is. You can't control any single person, and neither can I. But what we can do is make a decision about where we are, why we are where we are, and then go after it and quit overthinking. You see, overthinking is not helping you. Overthinking about your situation, why you are where you are right now, thinking about what could possibly happen, thinking about every possible scenario, thinking about what might potentially go wrong, thinking about how it should work without taking action is the equivalent of doing nothing. And I'm saying this to you as being a chronic overthinker. I am somebody that overthinks myself into doing nothing. I've done a lot of great things in my life. I've helped a lot of businesses grow to seven and eight figures. I've helped grow my business to multiple six figures for years and years and years. And I've helped other people that I've coached and consulted and the ones that I consult right now go to 7 and 8 and even 9 figures in their businesses. And yet I was overthinking myself along the way. And I realized this, man, overthinking is not what got me here. Because every single moment where I had success or I had breakthrough, I'm telling you this serious because you might say, well, you overthink and you still had success. So if I have half your success, Jeremiah, I'm going to overthink myself to be successful. No, this is what I need you to listen to. Every single situation in my life, without exception, where I stopped overthinking in that area, that's when the needle moved forward. That's when the breakthrough moved forward. Every single time that I stopped overthinking and I made a decision, even if that decision was the wrong decision, I was okay with either I'm going to win or I'm going to learn. Either I'm going to invest in growth or I'm going to invest in an education. And that's what we call the school of hard knocks. Yes. So often people are afraid of, you know, maybe it Came from school. You know, if you get the answers wrong, you're gonna have to be pushed back a grade. And we're afraid of that. Like that's bad. Like, we're afraid that it's bad to make mistakes. It's good to make mistakes, my friends. It's good to fail. It's good to fall flat on your face if you pick yourself back up again. See, if you're somebody that doesn't pick themselves back up and lets that failure define them, then, yeah, you should probably avoid that failure until you know that you built up the courage and the perseverance and the ability to stand back up again. And if you're somebody right now that's in a pit that you've been doing and spinning on the same hamster wheel constantly because you're afraid of what happened last time, and you're not going past the precipice, past the plateau, past the edge and jumping off over the edge. My friends, some of you are standing today at the edge of your life up to this point, with a gap between your destiny and you have wings on your back that will fly you across that canyon. Imagine you're standing in a canyon, but you have wings on your back. Or imagine there's an eagle that will pick you up when you jump, but you can't see that eagle. And there's some of you that have been standing at that edge of your life, and you're not taking the leap of faith. And you know that for you to ever go forward to where you're supposed to go, it's time to take that leap of faith. But you're indecisive, you're overthinking, you're coming up with ways that it won't work because you're not convicted in your identity, that as soon as you jump, that eagle is going to come and lift you up or those wings are going to come out and you're going to fly to that next part, that next step. Because last time you tried it, you fell flat, you broke your leg, you skinned your knee, you hurt yourself because you put your identity so much in what you've done in your life. You put your identity so much in what's happened in your life. You put your identity so much in the things that people say to you could happen. Oh, maybe you're listening to somebody that says, don't you know that eagle never shows up? Don't you know that parachute doesn't work? Don't you know those wings never come out? Imagine that you're You're a parachuter and you're about to jump out of the plane and somebody says, I don't think that parachute's gonna work. But then they kick you out of the plane and it's life or death whether you. That plane's going down. Either you're going to go down with the plane or you got to jump out of that plane. That's where most of you are right now. You got a plane in your life that's going down in a flaming pile. You got a parachute on your back that you're not quite sure works, and you're making a decision and overthinking, which way do I want to die? What if it does work out? What if that parachute does work and you stayed on that plane? What if that parachute does work and you jump out and you pulled the parachute and then you lived? Or what if you didn't decide and were indecisive and just said, I'm not going to do anything? Do you not realize that that is what you've been doing with your life up to this moment? If you are somebody that overthinks things, that's what I've done. I'm sitting in a pile that's fallen down. It's, it's, it's, it's flaming. It's going to be destroyed. And I know that I have to jump. And I'm not sure quite if the parachute's gonna work, but I have to take that chance. And you know what? It's okay if I fail. You see, a lot of us for some reason believe that a single failure defines us in our life and our whole life is over at that point. You sure about that? You sure that if leaving that situation might not open the door and stop empowering the thing that you fear? Are you so positive that as soon as you take that jump that it's going to hurt you? Are you so afraid of what might happen that you would rather guarantee failure than possibly ever succeed? I'm serious, my friends. If you're somebody that's like me, that overthinks things in your life, you're analytical. You have to get solid in who you are and your identity and make decisions to do things, even if they're scary. Listen, if you're listening to this right now, I would bet that there is nothing that you are afraid of doing that is going to end your life if you do it now. There might be some of you, you know, let me give you an example. Maybe you're going on a missions trip overseas and you might get killed if you go to that country. Okay, yeah, I get it. But for the rest of you, or if the situation we're talking about is not that, by the way, that's probably not the next step along the way. You see, a lot of times we look at the end from the beginning or the beginning from the end, and we look at it and we say, okay, I have to get there. I can't get there. Or I want to get there. And we haven't identified what our next step is. What if you could build a bridge across the canyon? What if you could sew yourself another parachute on the plane and all the materials are there, but you don't know how, and you got a guy who could teach you, but he's kind of mean. You see what I'm saying? You see what I'm saying? My friends, we overthink ourselves into oblivion. We overthink ourselves into failure, we overthink ourselves into inaction, and we overthink ourselves into exactly where we are right now. Because if you weren't overthinking yourself into the situation you're in right now, you'd be in a different situation already. That's not to judge anybody. That's not to condemn anybody, my friends, I'm not trying to condemn anybody. I would never want to condemn somebody. I'm talking personally. This is what I've done in my life. And the only thing that ever got me past that level is when I made a decision. Even in the face of absolute failure, even in the face of losing everything, even in the face of it not working out and it actually hurting in the end to go after where I know I was called to go. Even in the face of people assuming that I had ill intention and evil motives, Even in the face of people declaring and projecting their own insecurities and saying that I was a liar. You see, there's people that do that in your life or that's. That try to prove you wrong. Because they're insecure about where they are right now. They're insecure about what they can't do. And so they feel like, well, I can make myself feel special if I just hold you back where I'm at and you start to believe what I believe about myself, about yourself. And we do the same thing to other people. Isn't it amazing that the very thing that we judge other people for is what we judge ourselves for, is what we find ourselves doing all the time, is what we are on a pattern of. See, see, there's a Difference between judgment and there's. And then restoration. You know, sometimes people don't always have your best interest when they're saying stuff. Sometimes they have an ulterior motive to get something out of you. Sometimes they're just trying to game the system or for you to not even realize your power. That way they can go further than you and you play right into their hand. You play right into the hand that will keep you stuck right where you are and knock you back further with your overthinking, with your indecision, with allowing other people to dictate your choices, with not having convictions for yourself, with worrying what other people think about what you're doing. Nobody is ever going to validate you or your ideas or anything that you ever possibly want to do enough for you to finally have made it and go to the next level. Okay? Nobody. Accept yourself with conviction. And knowing this is truth, knowing this is where I'm going, knowing that I don't care what anybody says, this is where I'm headed. And if I find something that looks like a better idea, I can make a better decision. You know, maybe we're making a decision that's going to bring us harm. It's not good. I've been there as well, my friends. I was making a lot of decisions way back in the day and I thought they were good because I was afraid of what might happen and I was empowering what I fear. Everything that I'm sharing with you is what I've experienced in my life, what I've experienced almost going to prison a few times in my life, what I've experienced growing up, what I've experienced in church, what I've experienced in business. And I kept myself small and kept myself from shining bright because I was afraid of it offending other people, because I was afraid that if I finally discovered who I was and other people saw it, that it would hurt me, that I would end up hurt, that I would end up right where I felt everywhere else in my life up to this point. And that I might as well better just keep myself small, that I should just keep myself right where I am up to this point. Because at least I feel good here. At least I feel safe here. At least I'm not pushing the envelope. At least I'm not upsetting anybody. At least I'm not getting threatened. At least I'm not getting lawsuits. At least I'm not getting, you know, people bad mouthing me, lying about me, talking bad behind my back, assuming things that aren't true. And then I had this revelation a couple months ago, actually. For you to go after your destiny, you have to be okay with people lying about you, saying things that aren't true about you, believing things that are not true about you, without you ever having to prove yourself to anybody and just sticking to your guns and going forward, sticking to the path that you're on and letting your results speak louder than your own mouth. You see, if you're defending yourself in any area, that's an area of insecurity, because defense shows that we have a fear of attack, shows that there's a fear of punishment or of pain. And so we have to prevent that from happening by proving with our words that what we say is true. And so I want to encourage you in this two things. Stop overthinking things and stop defending yourself for your convictions. The best defense is an offense. I'm not talking about sports situations either, my friends. I'm also not talking about being stupid and not having attorneys and contracts and, you know, having a strategy that works for you and not against you. I'm talking about not empowering your fear, not empowering your worry, not trying to have such a contingency plan because you're worried that you never go anywhere. That's what I'm talking about, is inaction, is overthinking with inaction. As you've been listening to this podcast, I would bet that it challenged some things in you. I bet even right now, you're overthinking some things and you're trying to decide if you're willing to believe what I'm saying to be true. What do you have to risk? What do you have to lose? What are you so worried about happening? What if it does work out? What if you do reach your destiny? Even if you look silly? What if they say mean things to you? Why does that have an effect on you? Well, I went through this, I experienced this, I had this, and then I never recovered. Okay, great, you didn't recover. Then heal it, forgive it, let it go. And when that happens again, you're not going to be knocked down like you were that last time. You're gonna get up and be victorious and be more than a conqueror going forward. And here's the biggest one that I see. A lot of people overthink. They don't wanna. They don't want to hurt other people. They don't want to bring harm to other people. They don't want to have somebody hurt themselves. They don't want somebody to think that they're trying to hurt Other people, and they stay silent because they're overthinking and they're taking false responsibility for what might happen to other people. And they're fearing the consequences of what might happen if they make the wrong decision. And so they make no decision because they believe that that's safer. It's time for you to stop letting your fear run your life. It's time for you to stop letting your worry come above your conviction and your decision and start leading your life. It's time to stop overthinking. You see, overthinking is just code for fear. That's all it is. So I've done a lot of podcasts about fear, but everybody says, I'm not afraid. I'm not worried. Really? Then why have you not moved forward? Well, because this and this. So you're afraid of that happening? Well, no. This, this, and this. Well, how would that happen? Well, this, this, and this. So you're afraid of that happening? Well, okay, yeah, I guess you're right. See, that's what I'm saying. There's three to four levels deep. You got to identify two things. Why are you doing what you're doing in the first place? Make a decision on that one. What is your why? Identify your why and make it bigger than being validated by other people. Make it bigger than just getting a gold star. Make it bigger than feeling validated and special yourself and have the decision and realize that no matter what anybody says about me, it doesn't change anything about my worth or my identity because I know who I am. And then make a decision about where you are going and stop letting fear run your life. You have to identify what you're afraid of. If you're like, well, I'm not afraid of that. Start asking, okay, well, why won't you do that? It's the opposite of the why. You go why in reverse and you'll find your fears. Okay, well, why do I feel that way? Well, why do I feel that way? And this is something that I do. Sometimes you don't always have to do this. Sometimes you just say, okay, God, I give it up to you. Give me the. You know, your thoughts, how you see the situation, and then go from there. And that works other times, you know, we have to spend some time and think about it. There's not one right or wrong way to do this, my friends. Everybody seems to want just a rule guide, a rule book of laws of how to reach their goals when there's no such thing. But there's a framework of getting Rid of your fear. Disempowering your fear, by the way, is what it is. To get rid of fear is not to get rid of the thing you fear, because that thing you fear is never going to disappear. Most of the time you have to disempower the power that that thing you fear has over you to keep you stuck and overthinking. Because your why and your conviction and your beliefs and your decision and your willingness to fail to go to that next level is greater than why you won't and your fear. And you're willing to take a chance and just see what happens by stepping out in faith. And so I want to encourage you today, if you're somebody that's been stuck in this, you might need to listen to this podcast again, because I hit a lot of this hard and fast. Go through it until it starts to sink in, until you start to realize, okay, what am I afraid of? And then say, you know what? I'm going to declare that I'm no longer afraid of that and say, tell myself, change. I'm going to change my perspective. I'm going to change my beliefs. I'm going to change my decisions. You see, overthinking is because you've made a decision about the thing that isn't working and you're trying to decide if you're willing to change to the thing that might possibly work. So you have to be decisive. Am I going to stay where I've been up to this point, or am I going to make a new choice, a new belief that is entirely opposite of what I've believed up to this point and just see what happens and take the chance and try it out, Test it out. Don't guess. Test and see what happens. I believe that there's some people right now that are going to be set free from the chains that have been holding them back from. From their destiny. Listening to this episode, and I'm so thankful for that. If this episode has helped you, please share it with somebody. Please share it with somebody to help them get to that next level. If you're somebody that wants to maybe hop on a coaching call and talk through these things, talk about what your goals are in business, maybe create a plan and a strategy to reach them, and work with somebody that's been there and can help you get there. You can either leave, grow your life on my Instagram, or let me know if you want to take me up on that offer to get some coaching with me. Either the 1 hour or the 3 hour before January 1st, after January 1st. The price is going to go up, but I'll still offer that coaching. I believe in you and I know that it's possible for you to reach your goals as soon as you get past this overthinking and this fear thing that's keeping you stuck right where you are with the results that you've gotten up to this moment in time so that you can start to progress forward and move that needle forward. Grow your life, everybody, and we'll talk soon.