89: Do This When You Get Nervous In Your Business - #GrowYourLife

Thanks for listening to the Grow youw Life podcast. My name is Jeremiah Krakowski, and on this podcast we talk about ways for you to grow in your life and your business, to get more results, make more money, sell more products, and live a bigger life. The life that you want by design, not just by default. What I want to talk to you today about is dealing with nervousness and getting nervous when you're doing new things, getting nervous when you're selling, dealing with nervousness when you're going into a meeting or confrontation, temptation or a conflict, or just all around doing stuff that kind of makes you just on a little bit on the edge of fearful and worried, but not like totally fearful, just nervous that it, it puts a lump in your stomach, a pit in your stomach that makes it hard to do those things. And then you start to manifest emotionally and probably aren't thinking in the best of ways. And so I want to help empower you with some of the techniques that I use that help when I feel those nerves. Maybe you're like, oh, Jeremiah, do you ever feel those nerves? Absolutely. All the time, constantly. In fact, I get those feelings, but I've had to learn how to deal with it. I've had a number of, probably about half of the podcasts even on here. I felt that. In fact, recording this podcast right now, I feel it just a little bit because I haven't talked on this topic before. And yet you're like, oh, I can't tell. That's because. Because I've learned how to deal with it. And part of it is that nervousness is just one step away from excitement and joy. All that we have to do is raise our awareness when we get nervous. Instead of it being a negative, look at it like a positive, like something exciting and new is about to come out of what we're going to experience, that it's going to be exciting. Now, fear is something that our bodies and minds tell us, hey, maybe you should avoid this. Maybe this is dangerous. And many times when we're nervous, it's because of a past experience, didn't go how we wanted, or we've never done it before and we've seen how other people do it, or we're comparing ourselves or we're not sure how the other person is going to feel. These are many of the different reasons why nerves come in. All of those reasons are valid, and I'm going to validate that for you right now. It's normal to feel nervous when you go and do new things. It's normal to feel Nervous when you go and make a sales pitch for the first time, or when you go and make a podcast for the first time, or write a blog post, or write an email or a social media post or a video on social media, you, you get what I'm saying? When you haven't done something enough times before, when you haven't done something frequently enough, those nerves are normal. But you can embrace them. You can actually find motivation inside of those nerves. And that's what I've had to do. What I've done recently, over the last year, probably the last six months, more than anything else, is that when I feel that nervousness, that's something that I need to press into. It's something that I need to lean into. And instead of leaning back from it, which was my normal M.O. i was constantly wanting to please people, make them happy and look good to other people. That's why you constantly hear me talk about, don't do that, because I've lived that, I've done that for so long and learned it just doesn't work out very well. For you to get the goals that you have, to get the results that you're looking for, and for you to get more sales in your business, you have to learn to lean in with the nerves instead of away from them. The truth is, uncertainty creates nervousness. When we don't know how something is going to play out. Anxiety and nerves can come up when we don't know how something is going to go, an interaction is going to go, or we don't even know maybe how we're going to respond to something. We can feel that sense of nervousness from the uncertainty and maybe even from not not having the right answer or not knowing what to say, not knowing if we will be able to say it well. And so what I found is this, is that when I'm feeling those nerves, I lean into it and I just start to trust myself more. I've learned that by trusting myself instead of second guessing myself, the nerves become a superpower. They actually become a way where I can discover what I didn't know already. I start to listen to what they're telling me, identifying and naming those feelings. And I'm going to tell you this right now. This was very difficult to do. For years, I was constantly suppressing those feelings. Now when I feel those nervous feelings, I can identify exactly what they are instantly. And that comes with practice. That comes with the next time that you feel those nerves, that nervousness, identify what that feeling is. What is it trying to tell you? What is it trying to speak to you about? Many times it may even be just a gut feeling, and you have never really paid attention to that. Or if you have, you're not sure what it means at this moment in time because you haven't done it in that situation or not. And so that's what happens when we get those nerves. Now, at the end of the day, when you get nervous, when you get nerves, especially in business, when you're selling something, when you're making a blog post, when you're making content, when you're teaching, coaching, interacting with people, you're going to have to do more of what you are nervous about for those nerves to disappear. Remember, I told you at the beginning of this podcast, I was nervous even talking about this. And even as I've been talking about it, I've been listening inside. What am I feeling? Where am I going with this? And a big part of that for me is even sometimes I'm looking for. This is just part of my process, the empathy for my listeners, what are they going through? Even that makes them nervous. And how can you get results from that? How can you navigate those nerves to press through them? If you've ever heard your breakthroughs on the other side of your fear, your results are on the other side of that ledge, that edge of your worry and fear. That's what it is. And it's not even really like a striving like, like I'm not sitting here, like I'm actually. It's more of a release. It's like a letting go type of a thing. And really, that's the strategy for when you get nervous, is as soon as you let go of those nerves, instead of trying to control them, instead of trying to keep them in your grip, instead of trying to make sure that you control and mold and forge and tweak how you're feeling so that you do everything perfectly. Have you ever done that when you feel nervous? And even as I'm saying that, it's funny, the nerves disappeared because that's where the breakthrough was. Not in trying to control the nerves, not in trying to hold onto them, but by letting go, by surrendering. And by going into them, you'll find the breakthrough instead of fighting them, instead of hoping they go away. You know, whatever you pay attention to the most, you'll get more of. If you pay so attention to how you're feeling in the nervousness, you're going to get more of that. And clinging to any hope or semblance or feeling of foundation or safety, Safety is the better word. Clinging to any foundation of trying to control how those things work out is actually going to amplify those nerves, even right now. So I'm. I'm leaning into this while I'm talking to this with you. This is really kind of cool to be able to do this when I'm not able to find the right words and I'm really trying to control what words I'm saying. The nerves come back as soon as I'm like, it's okay to just express myself openly to you. You and I were having a conversation right now, a one way monologue where I'm talking, but you're listening to this. Even in that if I'm not worried about saying the right thing or crafting it in the right way, the nerves actually go away because I'm letting go of the need to fully control how things are coming across, how the words are going into the microphone here. And that's what the secret is. As soon as you learn to let go of control, let go of the need to control how everything happens, how everything plays out, how everything pans out in your life, how everything comes together for you and you embrace your greatness, you embrace the awesomeness that's inside of you, you embrace the possibility, you accept yourself and you accept whatever outcome happens. That's the key, that's the scary one, that even if you don't do everything perfect, you fully accept how that outcome happens. As soon as you can do that, that nervousness starts to disappear. That's why you hear me talking about self acceptance so much. That's why you hear me talking about healthy self image. That's why you hear me talking about not being afraid to make mistakes, not being afraid to look, quote, unquote, unprofessional to people. Every single professional that I've ever worked with in my life has told me that they're the most professional when they find their authenticity and they lean into that and they let go of the need to appear, look, sound, walk and talk like a professional. And it just flows out of them, it just comes out of them naturally, like they're just having a conversation, like they're just talking to another person. And that, my friends, is the place that you want to get to when you feel nervous. Let go of those need to control what's going to happen. If you're in sales, you're not ever going to be able to control another person's choice. And some of you may argue that because you've learned different sales techniques to manipulate the conversation and get people to buy from you. At the end of the day, it's still their decision to buy from you. And I would much rather people buy from me because they absolutely want to than to coerce somebody into buying anything. And that, my friends, is the key. We give up the need to control how people perceive us, what they think about us, how they act, how they respond, and we just show up ourselves authentically, regardless of how anyone else might think about us, how they might perceive us, how they might take what we're saying the right or the wrong way now. Absolutely. If you can get somebody that can help you craft that, mold that, put that into a way, that really is a great package, how you frame what you're saying is important. Absolutely. But when we let go of that need to control others, the nerves start to dissipate. They start to disappear. You see, oftentimes there's a certainty in. When we feel like we're in control of a situation. When we feel like we're in control of what somebody else does, there's a certainty in that. And when we're nervous about something, it's ultimately because we don't have a certainty in that area of life of how things are going to go, how they're going to respond, how the conversation is going to go, how things are going to end up. Now, yes, there is a form of when you're selling, directing and leading and influencing the conversation. And that's what I have taught in a number of my other podcasts that are about selling, and that's what I teach my coaching clients, as well as how to do that. When you do that the right way, you can lead the conversation to more often than not sales, but you're going to sell a lot more being authentic than trying to control the sale and trying to look professional and trying to appear like somebody that people should trust instead of just being yourself. People trust other people that are authentic. If you're listening to me right now, there's a level of trust that you have that we built. There's a level of rapport. There's a. You know, it may not be a lot of trust, but there's. There's a little bit there. You care about what I'm saying. You want to hear more about that, and that's what that is. When you feel those nerves that comes across and you appear untrustworthy to people, you appear standoffish to people, you appear like somebody that people can't trust in a situation. And it all stems from that need of control. Nobody wants to be controlled. So if you're trying to control somebody, that energy is coming across. Instead we let go of that and we merely lean into our authenticity and learning how to influence the conversation and lead people. Now, how do you learn about leadership? How do you learn how to lead a conversation that's a conversation for another time. When we lead people, we're helping them make the best decision for themselves. When I'm leading you in my podcast, my decision that I want to lead you to, the decision that I want you to make is to let go of the need to control everything. Because I know that that's going to get you the most results and sales in your business, that's going to get you the most results in sales, in whatever it is that you do. By being authentic, by being yourself, by connecting and communicating with people like they're a friend and not caring, not trying to control the outcome, not trying to make things go a certain way for you in the end, instead embracing the process, instead leaning into the process. Instead being your authentic self. And I get it. None of us want to be pushy salespeople. None of us want to be that person that people don't like to be around. But if you're somebody that doesn't want to be that way and you're selling and you're feeling nervous that people are going to perceive you that way, you're actually going to come across that way from your nerves. Instead of just leaning into being authentically yourself. How do you get better at this? By doing it more often. By keep putting yourself into situations that you normally feel nervous with. By intentionally showing up into situations that make you nervous on a regular basis. By on purpose putting yourself into scenarios that somewhat terrify you in your business. The more that you do that, the more that you do it scared. The more that you lean into doing what scares the crap out of you, the more that you do what terrifies you completely, the results start to come in. Every business owner that I've ever met usually starts out afraid, usually starts out scared in some way. Or, or if they say I'm not afraid, I'm not afraid at all. I hear this often. I'm just wise. I'll hear that one too. I'm just using wisdom about how things will turn out. I'm just being prudent so that things go the right way. For me, that's a, that's a cover up and a cop out for being afraid of how things might go bad for you. Instead of being so afraid and trying to Control those situations. Lean into being authentically yourself. Show up as you are and you have nothing to be afraid of. If people don't like you for you, they were never supposed to be in your tribe anyways. They were never supposed to engage with you. And so if you can show up authentically, that is the most wise, most perfect thing that you can do. Trying to appear professional, to have the right first impression on people is actually going to make you lose in the long run. It's actually going to hurt you in the long run of your business goals. When we can lean into being okay with and really not caring if people have a good or bad opinion about us. When we can lean into that, not to the sense that we're going to be a jerk or rude or hurt other people. We got to have that integrity, that compassion and that kindness, but that we don't care if people judge us badly or misjudge us. And we're not trying to control how we're perceived by everybody around us. When we can do that and we show up as ourselves in every interaction in our business, trust and rapport is built a lot faster. You're able to connect a lot better, a lot deeper. Sales and getting more sales in your business is all about creating connection with other people, is all about connecting with real human beings. It's about connecting with people where they're at and when you can connect with people where they're at in a real tangible way, really getting close to people, really letting people into your life. And that right there might be the most scariest thing you've ever done. Letting people see the real you. Letting people see what you only show to your closest friends. Letting people see the side of you that you reserve and don't show anybody. When you can let people see that side of you, trust and rapport is built a lot faster. And it will actually get you more results in business. Does that work in corporate America? No, you'll get ran all over. We know that. Does that work in a normal job or any other situation? No, not really. It doesn't. And that's the problem, is this strategy literally doesn't work in most areas of life. Performing arts, if you don't perform right, doesn't work. But as a business owner, it does. And it's the one single area that I find the most people, that they come from these different areas of life, especially corporate America, or performing arts or TV personalities or things like that. They're trying to control how they look, sound and how people perceive them. And then they Become a CEO and they're stuck progressing, they're stuck getting sales. They go from performing to selling and they're trying to perform the sales process. You can't do that. Doesn't work. It doesn't work at all. When you come to the table with authenticity, being yourself, fully yourself in every single situation, things will start to work out for you in your favor. I'm somebody that has always had to please people myself and perform and do all the right things for everybody that I'm around. When I coach people, yes, absolutely. I have to. When I make a podcast, I have to. I'm delivering a high quality product to you. But even then, I don't allow myself to get stuck in my head and overwhelmed with how things could go wrong and instead just flow. When I show up and I make these podcasts, when I write a blog post, when I make a course, I know that it's going to impact people and I know that it's going to change their life in a positive way. But I don't worry about am I going to deliver it perfectly. Are they going to do what I say? I used to. Not anymore. As soon as I gave that up, as soon as I gave up that need in my business, on my social media content, on my emails and my marketing and my podcast, in my courses to do that, the sales started to come in and people started to want to work with me more. It became more attractive to people, get connected more, deeper with people. And that's what will happen for you as well. That's what I'm excited to see. For those of you that are listening to this, I'm proud of you that you got to 22 minutes into this podcast episode. This might have been hard for some of you, but I know that if you apply this in your life, it's going to change your life for the better. And in your business, you're going to get more results. So if you're not in the grow your life Facebook group, be sure to join that. Let me know how it goes. If you haven't yet, schedule a free 15 minute call with me on my website, Jeremiah Krakowski.com and if you want to win a free 30 minute coaching call with me, my paid coaching is $1,000 an hour. If you want to win 30 minutes for free, I will give it away. It's $500 value. Essentially, you can leave grow your life on my Instagram and I pick one winner every single week on Sunday for you to win or anybody who's listening can go schedule a 15 minute call with me for free on my website. I want to help you. Why do I do that? I want to talk to people. I want to hear from my listeners. What are they going through? What are they struggling with? What are they dealing with? Even if you just want to send me a DM or a message, love to hear from you. Love to hear what you're working through and what's happening in your business. Grow your life, everybody, and we'll talk soon.