9 Destructive Behaviors That Weaken Your Prayers (Without You Realizing It)

I'm gonna reveal to you 9 hindrances to your prayer life that you need to get rid of today. And as you begin to obey God in these areas, you're gonna begin to see that your prayers are more fruitful. Well, think about the fact that in James we're told that the prayer of the righteous will avail much. There's something to the obedient life that invites the blessing of God. There's just something about when someone who's living right says a prayer over you or on your behalf or on behalf of your family or on behalf of your city or on behalf of your health. And that is because when you are obedient to God's Word, you are aligning yourself with his authority. And so it's one thing to know God's Word and quote it. It's another thing to align yourself with his Word and actually walk in the authority that it brings. The authority of God's Word in your life is directly proportionate to your obedience to that Word. Think about the demons who confronted the 7 sons of Sceva. Jesus, I know. Paul, I know. But who are you? Those sons were trying to expel demons based on what they knew, based on what they quoted. But they didn't carry the real power because there was no real connection with God's authority in their life. And so these 9 obstacles are common, and I pray that today they're revealed because there may be some of these in your life you don't even realize it. So let's take a look at number 1. Number 1 is pride. In James 4:6, we read, And he gives grace generously. As the Scriptures say, God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble. In Job 35:12, we read, and when they cry out, God does not answer because of their pride. Now, of course, we have to filter Old Testament realities through the cross because there are different spiritual dynamics today than there were in the Old Testament, at least in our relation to them. And so even though we understand that we live under grace, we also see a pattern all throughout scripture, Old and New Testament, that when someone resists God or when someone is self-reliant or when someone thinks they don't need him or when someone hardens their heart to his voice, that invites chaos. That invites correction. That invites calamity and trouble. Things begin to fall apart. Now, on the inverse of this, that doesn't mean that if you obey God's commands that he owes you, 'cause sometimes we can become a little entitled, right? We say, well, Lord, I obeyed you. I did everything you said to do. Why does everything still seem to be falling apart? You can be like Joseph doing the right thing and then finding yourself in the wrong place. Or so it seems. It's actually the will of God who was processing him. But when we obey God, we soften our hearts to his voice. When we allow ourselves to be filled with pride, when we think we don't need him, when we rush through our lives without inviting his voice, when we think we have it all figured out, we have all the answers, well, that's when our prayers become hindered. And sometimes, The voice of the Holy Spirit will come through your loved ones. And sometimes the voice of the Holy Spirit will come through a spiritual mentor. And sometimes the voice of the Holy Spirit will come in that still small voice or even just circumstances where you know you can see the hand of God opposing what you're doing. And here's what we do. We try to debate with the Holy Spirit. We try to reason with him. Or we hope that if we resist long enough that God will just go, all right, go ahead, do what you want to do. Well, the Holy Spirit is not straightened, is what the scripture asks in Malachi. Is the Spirit of God straightened? In other words, can you bend him to your will? And this is why it says that God resists the proud, because those who are filled with pride are self-reliant. And when you're self-reliant, you have to do things in your own strength and power. But when you're reliant upon the Holy Spirit, that weakness invites his influence. And so God resists the proud. So if you're praying but your heart is hard, you're praying but you're far too self-reliant, that is going to hinder your prayers. Number 2, impure motives. James chapter 4, verses 2 and 3 say this, you want what you don't have. So you scheme and kill to get it. You are jealous of what others have, but you can't get it. So you fight and wage war to take it away from them. Yet you don't have what you want because you don't ask God for it. And when you ask, you don't get it because your motives are all wrong. You want only what will give you pleasure.

Pleasure.

Now, God is your Father. He has no issue with blessing you. He wants to give you the house. He wants to give you the job. He wants to give you the raise, the promotion. He wants to give you the new car or a car. Now, some of us, we feel a little bit uncomfortable with that, right? Because sometimes the pendulum swings a little too far in our thinking. And I understand that in some sense the prosperity message has been abused, but the abuse of a truth does not negate the reality or application of that truth. Though prosperity has been abused, that doesn't make it any less true. Though it's been twisted to become the gospel in and of itself for some, that doesn't mean it has no application to your life today. Because sometimes we think that in order to bless us, God has to take from someone else. So you might feel guilty praying for a car, but don't you need a car to get to work? And don't you need to work to provide for your family? And don't you need to provide for your family to obey the scripture? And so there's nothing wrong with asking for blessings. There's nothing wrong with having a trial. You've heard people say, well, other people have it worse. Or they might try to guilt you by saying, you're praying for a car that works, but do you realize you have brothers and sisters across the globe who are being persecuted? You know, I suspect they might agree with you for your blessings. And to say that I can't pray for something because someone else has it worse is like saying I can't rejoice because someone else has it better. What does my state of being have to do with their state of being? Yes, pray for them. Yes, be concerned for them. Yes, keep things in the right perspective, but you shouldn't feel guilty for presenting your needs to God. He wants to bless you. As he told his disciples, don't worry about what I'm gonna do with the other guy. This is what I'm telling you. And so that is one truth. However, On the other side of that, it is possible to become so consumed with greed, so consumed with materialism, so consumed with self that you view your prayer life as a means only of getting what you want rather than becoming who God desires you to be. To where now everything is about what I can get. The presence of God is no longer the goal. The presence of God becomes a means to an end, which is materialism. Well, that's what Judas was like. You know, he spent time with the Lord. He knew him. He even walked in power. Judas cast out demons. Think about that. But it was precisely because he knew where to find Jesus in the secret place that he was able to betray him in the way that he did. And he traded his knowledge of the secret place for material things. And some of us attempt to do the same thing, to use prayer as merely a means of gain. Now, if that's all it ever is, that's when you have an issue. If it's out of jealousy— I'm praying for blessings because I don't like that my brother or my sister or my family member or my friend has something better than I do. If watching others be blessed causes you to be jealous, there's something in your heart that you need to check, because you have a mindset that thinks God is running low on supply. Jealousy imagines that God is taking away from you to give to others. Or if you're praying for simply self-promotion, are you praying for the spiritual gifts so that you can serve others? or so that others can look at you as spiritual? Are you praying for that spiritual gift so that you can help the church or so that you can be celebrated and at least at some points the center of attention? Are you praying for God to increase you so you can lord it over people or shove it in their face? Or are you praying for God to increase you that you might be generous in helping them? How many times have you heard that said where people quote the scripture, he prepares a table for me in the presence of my enemy. And when I get blessed, all my haters are gonna watch me get blessed. But is that really the Christian perspective? Does a Christian get blessed and go, haha, you all doubted me, now you have to stand back and watch God bless me? Or does a Christian say, yeah, you doubted me and yeah, you weren't the kindest to me, but now that God has blessed me, I'd like to be a blessing to you. So you have to watch the motivation of your prayers. Number 3 is mistreating your wife. Got quiet. 1 Peter 3:7, in the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God's gift of new life. Treat her as you should. Why? So your prayers will not be hindered. That's New Testament, gentlemen. Now I already know someone wants to chime in, probably in their mind, and say, well, that applies to the women too. No, it doesn't. Because, because the scripture is addressing the men here.

Right.

Why? Because it has to do with your leadership role in the home. Now, when Jess and I first got married, she said, you know, you're like a robot. And she meant because sometimes I'm just very monotone, very— and people often tell me, the way you talk comes across certain ways sometimes. So I have to be very conscious. I'm just very direct, very matter-of-fact, and I have to be very careful about the way I come across sometimes. And Jess told me, you're like a robot that I'm teaching to love. I'm programming you to love, she said. But I remember when we first, probably, I would wanna say maybe around year 2 of our marriage, we got into an argument, and it wasn't especially heated. We've had those, but this one wasn't an especially heated argument. And I remember in the conversation, I'm just dealing with it in my mind, very matter-of-fact logic. Fact 1, fact 2, fact 3, therefore, This is just how I think. And I remember we had this discussion. It was a fairly decent disagreement. You know, you have some that go overboard. This one was fine. And I walk away from the conversation thinking, okay, the matter is resolved. Yeah, someone already kind of knows there. I'm thinking the matter's resolved. I go and I start praying and I just feel like I can't I can't— I don't know what it was. I'm not saying God ignores you. I'm just saying there's something in you, in, in, in your, your, your nature as a man that's disrupted in those scenarios that affects the supernatural dynamics. I can't explain it exactly, but there was something missing there. And so I'm just like, Lord, what did I do? What did I say? I'm trying to rehearse things in my head.

Did I—

I'm going back to my old I call it religious OCD. Did I not pray enough, read enough scriptures? I'm just going through all these things in my head. And the Lord tells me, remember that conversation you had with your wife? I said, yes. He said, well, you were more harsh than you realized you were, and it hurt her feelings. So you need to go now and apologize. I said, okay. And men often talk about wanting to be the leaders, right? That doesn't mean you just boss them around and you're real rough and mean. Being a leader means you lead the way so that if there's a disagreement, you lead the way to reconciliation. So that means, gentlemen, you want to be the leader, you have to be the first to apologize. That was my mom who said that, by the way. Dad, I don't know what to say. So I go to the next room and I approach Jessica and I say, Jess, my dear, Um, remember that conversation we had just earlier? She said, yes. I said, well, I, I, I, the Lord told me I was too harsh. I just wanna apologize. She starts laughing and I'm like, what, what, what's so funny? And she goes, well, you, you, you were, it did hurt my feelings. And I didn't wanna nag you about it though. I didn't wanna just be all over your case and nitpicky. So I just told the Lord, And he told you. And after that was reconciled, I go back and I pray. The flow was back. But gentlemen, listen to me. That's very real. So if you're mistreating your wife, those prayers aren't gonna have that effectiveness that they can have. Number 4. Unconfessed sin. Psalm 66:17-19 declares, for I cried out to him for help, praising him as I spoke. If I had not confessed the sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened. But God did listen. He paid attention to my prayer. Praise God who did not ignore my prayer or withdraw his unfailing love from me.

Amen.

Now again, we have to take Old Testament concepts and filter them through the laws of grace. And so let me assure you, God does not ignore his children. And if we think we're approaching Christ based on our perfection, we're mistaken. Because sometimes we imagine that if we make a sinful mistake or if we develop a bad habit, that God is going to ignore us. In that case, how could you ever get it right if you would never get his help? And so when we approach God in prayer, we have to recognize that we're doing so based on Christ's record. We've been given a clean conscience, Hebrews tells us, because we have a high priest in Christ, and therefore we come boldly before the throne. Okay, so how do you reconcile that with a portion of scripture like this? Well, it's very simple. In the New Testament sense, it's not that your unconfessed sin causes God to ignore you, not if you're a believer. Rather, it's that your unconfessed sin hinders your confidence to approach him.

Amen.

And if you lack in confidence, you lack in faith to where now you can't pray, you can't focus, you can't believe, you can't ask. because of guilt and shame that you're carrying because of unconfessed sin. You go to pray for your loved ones and then you think, well, who am I to pray for them? You ask for a healing and then you tell yourself, well, maybe this is God punishing me. You pray for blessing in your finances, you say, maybe this is a curse I've invited upon myself because of my unconfessed sin. You ask for the Lord to touch you with his presence and power, to hear his voice, and you think, but I'm unworthy because I have this issue in my life. It hinders your faith to receive, not God's ear to hear. That's what unconfessed sin does in your life. That's why your prayers don't flow with ease. Number 5, by the way, number 5, I could preach on a dozen different things and get a dozen different responses. If I talk about money, people get really mad. If I talk about politics, people start throwing chairs. If I talk about your health and taking care of your physical body, people get offended. If I talk about specific sins, people think I'm being judgmental. But there is no subject that I believe, at least in my experience, there's no subject that incites more of a response than this one right here. You would be amazed at how many Christians become angry when you talk about this. And now you wanna know what it is, okay. So number 5, Unforgiveness. Matthew 5:23-24, therefore, if you are presenting your offering at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your offering there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother and then come and present your offering. Mark 11:25 says, but when you are praying, first Forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins too. Wow. Yes, this is real. Yes, this is biblical. And I think that society today is pushing back on the biblical concept of forgiveness. You see it in the use of words like narcissist. You see it in the use of terms like gaslighting. It got really quiet in here, so I'm gonna lean in more on this. Now, I'm not saying there's no such thing as a narcissist, and I'm not saying there's no such thing as gaslighting, but there's a whole subculture of society today that imagines they're all professional psychologists. And anytime anyone does anything that offends them in the slightest, that person's a narcissist. Are they a narcissist, or maybe you just had a simple conflict with them? Are they gaslighting you, or are they correcting your thinking?

Correcting.

And so culture has built defense mechanisms in order that they might justify their unforgiveness. And really what it is, is it's bitterness wrapped in moral-sounding language. Well, they didn't apologize. Once they apologize, then maybe I'll grace them with my forgiveness. What did Jesus say? Father, forgive them, they don't know what they're doing. Forgive faster than they can apologize. You may never get the apology.

Amen.

Now you've given them the power. Or I forgive them, but I'll never forget. We say it real threateningly, menacingly. Well, we don't think that you can literally choose to forget something, but what people mean when they say that is that they're gonna hold onto it at least a little bit and choose to still, still see them through that lens. Or I forgive them, but I'm still setting boundaries. And let me be clear, yes, there are times to set boundaries. But could it be that what you call a boundary is actually bitterness? Again, bitterness wrapped in moral-sounding language. Or, I forgive them, but they still have to deal with the consequences of what they did. What if Jesus said that to you? I forgive you, but you still need to go to hell. Well, isn't that the world's idea?

Yeah.

You know, there are still consequences to your actions. Yes, that's why there's grace. That's why there's mercy. Because mercy withholds that judgment and grace adds to them a blessing they don't deserve. That's mercy and grace. That's the Christian way. I don't care what society tells you. I don't care what direction society is going. That is the biblical way to deal with faults. That is the biblical way to deal with offense. In no scenario are we justified in holding on to it. No, you didn't deserve it. No, it wasn't your fault. Yes, it was awful of them. Yes, they probably deserve hell, just as we all do. But we choose to forgive as our Heavenly Father has forgiven us. What does the Psalm say? He doesn't deal with us according to all our sins. He separates from his mind your wrongdoing as far as the east is from the west. And if you hold that, that root of bitterness is gonna choke out the life of the Spirit, causing your prayers to be hindered. And then not only are your conversations filtered through that bitterness, but your prayers will be too. Number 6, God's timing. Ecclesiastes 3:11 says, Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God's work from beginning to end. God's timing is key when it comes to prayer. Number 7, spiritual warfare. And we read an interesting passage of Scripture here. Then behold, a hand touched me and set me trembling on my hands and knees. He said to me, O Daniel, man of high esteem, Understand the words that I'm about to tell you and stand upright, for I have now been sent to you. And when he had spoken this word to me, I stood up trembling. Then he said to me, do not be afraid, Daniel, for from the first day that you set your heart on understanding this and on humbling yourself before your God, your words were heard. And I have come in response to your words, but the prince of the kingdom of Persia was withstanding me for 21 days. Then behold, Michael, one of the chief princes, came to help me, for I had been left there with the kings of Persia. Demons are not metaphors. They're literal spiritual beings. Guys, demons exist.

Yes.

The modern church needs to wake up to this fact again. We need to recapture supernatural thinking. Demonic powers exist. In fact, demonic powers Lie, confuse, and they harass your mind. Yes. You ever feel like you don't know which direction you're going? Could be a spiritual attack. It could be a spiritual attack. You ever feel that harassment on your mind? It could be a spiritual attack. These things, I don't wanna say that they completely destroy your prayer life, but what they do is they affect the soul in such a way that it's difficult for you to hear the Spirit above emotional noise. Demons will stir your emotions. Demons will whisper lies. They'll cause confusion. And that spiritual warfare dynamic is a very real part of prayer today. Now, I'm not saying everything's a demon, and I'm not saying you have to be rebuking demonic powers 24/7. Some Christians are so afraid of demons, they treat them like pathogens. They think that if they get around anyone who's being spiritually attacked, that they, they're gonna get a demon on them. That's not how it works. It's not, it's not that kind of dynamic, nor am I saying this to make you paranoid, but you do need to be prepared. We're fighting a spiritual battle. Especially when you notice one thing after another, after another coming against you. it's time to take notice and say, maybe this could be a spiritual attack. Number 8, insincere repetitions. Matthew 6:7, when you pray, don't babble on and on as the Gentiles do. They think their prayers are answered merely by repeating their words again and again. Now notice here that it's not just repetition alone that God does not like. It's okay to repeat a prayer. It's okay to say the same word again and again. Lord, please. Lord, please. Sometimes that's all you can get out is, Lord, please, please, please, please, please, please. But it's sincere. Jesus is talking about repetition for the sake of repetition or confidence in the repetition itself, as opposed to sincerity in approaching God himself. Finally, number 9 is doubt. This is a big one. James 1:6, but when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind. If you find yourself back and forth, jumping around, or you feel like you're just grasping at straws to find your footing, there's something wrong. Faith is focused. Faith believes the word of God. Faith trusts in his ability over the ability of self. You know, often we approach God and we pray, in the confines of what we think is reasonable. We pray in the confines of what we think we can accomplish or what we think is possible in X amount of time. God doesn't have the same timeline as you do. Amen. God's working, I promise you, with an entirely different set of resources. God is working, I promise you, on an entirely different timeline. We're saying, Lord, please just break the addiction off of their life. God can do that, but he can also make them a preacher. Take it another step further. In fact, I dare you this week, and this is a challenge to you, I want you to start praying prayers that for sure only God can answer.

Amen.

You see, we say prayers that if they're answered, there can be some explanation. Well, maybe I just worked a little harder, there just so happened to be some increase. Or maybe because I was dieting and exercising, my health improved a little. No, you need to start praying prayers that for sure only God can answer. Yeah. Start thinking bigger. Start thinking like a son of God. You say, I'm a daughter of God. No, if I have to be the bride of Christ, you have to be a son of God. Sonship is position. Sonship is authority. Sonship is inheritance. Pray according to the Word. Pray according to God's power. Pray according to God's will. It's time to expand your thinking beyond that limitation you've allowed. He's able to do more than you can possibly imagine. We're praying for crumbs. He wants to give us a whole table. God wants to do the miracle, but you have to have faith, unwavering. And that is, that is the difficult part. It's the unwavering part that's difficult because especially as time goes by, you start to say, well, Maybe I'm being a little unreasonable, or well, maybe God isn't gonna do it, or well, well, if it was gonna happen, surely it would have happened by now. Maybe I'm too late. Maybe I missed something. Maybe it's not for me. Maybe that's for someone else. Maybe God doesn't really like me all that much, and I'm not really gonna receive from his hand in the way that someone else did. But I'm telling you, don't waver, church. I would rather go my whole life believing for the miracle than to give up even 1 minute too soon. I wonder how many gave up in the night on the miracle that was due in the morning.

I want to pray with you right now, and I'm going to ask the Holy Spirit to begin to reveal in your life where these hindrances to prayer are finding root. So Father, in the name of Jesus, I thank you that your word is as a mirror unto us, and that you are causing us to see ourselves, to reflect, to acknowledge those areas where we need repentance. And I pray, precious Holy Spirit, that you would help us to correct these areas, that we might see the fullness of the power of prayer.

Make us people of prayer.

Teach us to be like you. In the mighty name of Jesus, we pray.

And I want you to type it big in the comment section.

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