God would be Grieved if You Said These Words

Let's talk about 5 sins of the tongue that too many Christians commit, many without even realizing it. Whenever we talk about sin, we always picture what we would deem as the bigger sins, and often we overlook what others would call smaller sins. So I wanna show you from scripture these 5 different sins of the tongue. And as you begin to see these, I pray you ask the Holy Spirit, To bring correction, to bring conviction. This will save your reputation. This will save you a lot of time where God will not have to bring correction if you repent in these areas. This will help you in terms of your joy, in terms of your peace, in terms of your clarity, because what you say affects the way you think and what you think affects what you say. It's a cycle that you get caught in if you're not careful. And so I want to teach you something that's going to help you walk in peace, walk in favor, walk without having to be under God's correction, walk in a good reputation. I pray it challenges you if it's an area that you need to correct, but let's talk about these now. The 5 sins of the tongue too many Christians commit. Proverbs 18:21 says, the tongue can bring death or life. Those who love to talk will reap the consequences. Now, here, many have applied a superstitious reading of this particular scripture to mean that whatever I say will instantaneously materialize in some magic way. That's not exactly what the scripture is describing here. The scripture is saying here that there is power in your words to affect your life. What you say can affect what others around you think. What you say can influence what you think. What you say can harm your reputation. What you say can invite God's correction and even judgment. And this is why we have to be careful about what we say, because what we say can bring encouragement or discouragement. What we say can bring clarity or confusion, unity or division. James 1:26, if you claim to be religious, but don't control your tongue, you are fooling yourself. And your religion is worthless. James 3, beginning at verse 3. We can make a large horse go wherever it wants by means of a small bit in its mouth. And a small rudder makes a huge ship turn wherever the pilot chooses to go, even though the winds are strong. In the same way, the tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches, but a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire. And among all parts of the body, the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire by hell itself. People can tame all kinds of animals, birds, reptiles, and fish, but no one can tame the tongue. It is restless and evil, full of deadly poison. Sometimes it praises our Lord and Father, and sometimes it curses those or wishes harm upon those who have been made in the image of God. And so blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth. Surely, my brothers and sisters, this is not right. Number 1, complaint. Now, this is not what you'd expect in terms of a sin of the tongue, because sometimes we don't realize that complaint actually proceeds from the heart. Now, the next point I'm going to make when I talk about number 2, that's gonna be a very obvious point. And when I say it, you're gonna immediately agree that that is definitely a sin. Probably not one talked often enough about, but here, this number one point that I'm making, many people wouldn't expect to see complaint on this list. Philippians 2:12-15 say this, Dear friends, you always followed my instructions when I was with you. And now that I am away, it is even more important. Work hard to show the results of your salvation, obeying God with deep reverence and fear, for God is working in you Giving you the desire, excuse me, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him. Do everything without complaining and arguing so no one can criticize you. Live clean, innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in a world full of crooked and perverse people. So here the scripture tells us to do everything without complaining and arguing. And in so doing, No one can criticize you. Here we see that our reputations are spared when we don't complain. Let me just put it to you bluntly. Complainers are difficult to be around. If you find that people find it difficult to be around you, consider what comes out of your mouth. Consider the words that you speak. Is it possible that people hesitate to bring you around because you're constantly speaking negative things and they don't wanna be around that? I'm not saying that's the only thing that it could be, But at least you have to evaluate this point. And also, when you're a complainer, it damages your reputation. People look and they see that it's not very Christlike. Live clean, innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in a world full of crooked and perverse people. So obviously the Scripture is not just describing the fact that we shouldn't complain, but it throws in that instruction among others, And here we see that by refusing to be complainers, we become shining bright lights for others to see. It's part of our testimony. Complaint reveals lack of gratitude. Let me say this again. Complaint reveals lack of gratitude. Lack of gratitude reveals a heart that is not focused on Jesus.

Amen.

I wanna say that again, and I want you to think about what's being said. Complaint reveals lack of gratitude. A lack of gratitude reveals a heart that is not focused on Jesus. How can you complain? How can you be unsatisfied? How can you be bothered by your circumstance when you're focused on Jesus? Hebrews 13:5 says, let your conversation be without covetousness. And be content with such things as ye have, for he hath said, I will never leave thee nor forsake thee. So here the scripture is making it very clear that the very presence of God is the source of contentment for our lives. And so if I'm complaining, it's because I'm not content. And if I'm not content, it's because I'm not centered on Christ. When I'm centered on Christ, I'm fulfilled. And when I'm fulfilled, I don't complain. Now, I'm not saying that we can't acknowledge things that are wrong. And I'm not saying that we can't acknowledge things that need to be corrected. Of course, it's healthy to do a realistic evaluation of your life and circumstance. And those of you in ministry, those of you who run businesses, those of you who help to facilitate things, and those of you who are trying to build a strong family, you're leaders, you're people who are trying to build, you're trying to accomplish, you're trying to do the will of God. Of course, you're going to have to point out flaws. from time to time. Of course, you're going to have to point out things that are missing from time to time. I'm not saying you don't do that. What I'm talking about is an attitude, a heart that is so dissatisfied that complaint just pours out like a filthy river, and it begins to affect and corrupt everything and everyone around it. You complain about others. You complain about what you don't have. You complain about what is happening. You complain about what isn't happening. And this isn't the way that the believer ought to live. When you hear believers say things like, God never answers my prayers, or, it's been decades and I still don't see that God's given me breakthrough, usually it's because they're so focused on the negative that they can't see what God is doing. They're so focused on what God isn't doing that they can't be thankful for what he is doing. And so that complaint is produced. They're constantly spewing that out of their mouths. Saying things like, well, God isn't ever there for me. God is never there for me. God doesn't answer my prayers. God is ignoring me. I'm not blessed. And everything always goes wrong in my life. And they live like this and they feel justified in their complaint, not realizing that that is coming from a heart that is corrupted by a lack of focus on Jesus. Now, again, I wanna be clear. I'm not saying that you should never acknowledge that which needs correction or improvement. Of course you should. You ought to be realistic. But make sure that the heart posture isn't one that is dissatisfied because it is not focused on Jesus. Number 2, and as I said, this one's gonna be very obvious, but I wanna point this out here. What I'm about to say will seem very obvious. And the moment I say it, you're gonna go, of course. And in fact, if you read the title or maybe heard my introduction, you probably knew that this one was going to come up. But this often comes up in ways in the life of the believer that they're not even aware of. So don't just dismiss this point that I'm about to make and say, okay, yeah, I know what that one is. So I'm gonna check that off, dismiss it, or accept it, repent of it, or think of it in a very clear way. But often this appears in very subtle ways. And that is number 2, lying. Now, again, I know that would seem obvious, But deception or deceptive talk or deceptive communication often comes about in ways that we may not even intend. I'm not trying to scare you. I am trying to prepare you to live in a way that avoids this kind of sin. Colossians 3, I'll read verses 8 and onward. But now is the time to get rid of anger, rage, malicious behavior, slander, and dirty language. We'll come back to this portion of scripture in a moment. There's a lot there. Don't lie to each other, for you have stripped off your old sinful nature and all its wicked deeds. Put on your new nature and be renewed as you learn to know your Creator and become like him. So here we understand that because we've been made new, we can now be free from deceptive talk. Because we are new creations, We don't have to rely upon lying anymore. Some people, that's a way of life for them. That's how they get by. Some people struggle with compulsive lying. In other words, they just lie because they don't see any immediate benefit other than the fact that they enjoy lying or that they have this compulsion to lie. But again, lying is not just this very obvious blatant sin that we commit. We all know you shouldn't deceive. We all know that you shouldn't say things that are blatantly, obviously false. We all know that you shouldn't give bad information in an attempt to save face or avoid consequences. But think about the fact that there are also what we would call half-truths. Sometimes we deceive, not just in what we say, but in what we don't say. Sometimes we manipulate people Not just by the information that we give them, but by the information that we don't give them. What's more, we also exaggerate or make understatements. Exaggerations and understatements are a form of lying. Now, if you're talking about poetic hyperbole or exaggeration for the sake of communicating a very specific point, and it's very obvious that you're making that exaggeration, that's different. Again, poetic hyperbole is not what I'm talking about here. I'm talking about exaggerating to boost your ego, exaggerating to be looked at in a certain way, exaggerating to be perceived in a certain light, exaggerating to gain a certain status, exaggerating to gain favor with a certain person, or an understatement, downplaying something to manipulate the situation or the person that you are downplaying that fact to. I see it all the time on social media. People exaggerate. Preachers exaggerate. My goodness, I can't tell you how many times I've scrolled through social media to look at a picture of a couple hundred people and the caption reads, 5,000 people gathered, 10,000 people gathered. And I'm looking at that going, that looks like maybe 300 or 400. Or they'll say things like, look at how many book sales I've had, or look at how many followers I've amassed, or look at how many people I've reached. And there are exaggerations sometimes to these statistics. And it's not just Christian leaders. It's also the body of Christ at large who makes exaggerations, or they try to create this image in life that maybe gives the wrong perception. I'm not saying that you have to put everything online or everyone has to know everything about you. I'm saying that sometimes the exaggerations that we put forth are done so intentionally so that we can communicate a certain thing that isn't necessarily true. And that's not a blatant lie. It's not outright saying something that isn't a fact all the time, but that exaggeration serves a purpose of manipulation. Exaggeration can often serve the purpose of manipulation, and so can understatements. Again, not just in the information I give, but in the information I don't give. Now, this next one can really harm your reputation. So we've talked about complaining. Complaining is not just speaking negative from time to time. I'm talking about, a disposition, a posture of the heart that comes about as a result of not being focused on Jesus or satisfied in him. And number 2 is lying. And we also talked about the fact that it's not just the blatant communication of bad information, but it's also the withholding of information for the sake of manipulation, as well as exaggerations and understatements and half-truths, if that could even be considered a thing. Then number 3, and as I said, this one, This one really can damage your reputation if you're not careful. And I plead with you as a believer to consider your Christian testimony. I'm about to say it right now, consider your Christian testimony. Consider how what you do reflects upon Christ. Consider how it affects those closest to you. Consider how your children are watching you. Consider how the people you're discipling are watching you. Consider how your coworkers are watching you. This is number 3, and again, this will damage your reputation if you participate in this lie. Number 3 is, in this sin, number 3 is gossip. Now, gossip isn't necessarily spreading lies. We're gonna cover that in the next point. I'm gonna tap into that a little bit more because the next point I'm going to make is actually a little bit more, I think, damaging. But this is more than just communicating a lie. This is just sharing information that isn't yours to share. It's sharing information that you were entrusted with. It's sharing information that you have nothing to do with. Proverbs 20:19, a gossip goes around telling secrets. So don't hang around with chatterers. Here, Proverbs defines for us Who the gossip is. And gossip, by the way, isn't just making up lies about someone. Gossip is communicating information that you were entrusted with or information that someone else was entrusted with, but gave to you and spreading that around. That is wickedness. That is immaturity. Now you can say things like, well, I'm really close to them, so I should be able to tell them. Or, well, when they tell me, they know they're telling them. That's a lie. In fact, when people come to me for counseling and ministry, one of the first things that sometimes they ask is, is this information safe with you? Is anybody else going to know this? And I have an agreement with my wife, Jessica, that as long as it doesn't involve me or her and I, that if that individual is just communicating information about their life that they need help for with their situation, then I'm not even gonna communicate that to Jessica. And she respects that. And I tell her the same thing. I say, my dear, when somebody entrusts you with information, an insecurity, something they're struggling with, something they're dealing with internally, you do not tell me this unless again, it has to do with you or our marriage or our daughter. You keep that between you and them, and I will respect that. And often we'll see gossip go not from, friend to friend, but from the friend to the friend and to the spouse. That's gossip. It's not yours to share. Now, people may say, well, we are one, so they know if they're telling me, they're telling the other. Well, then you have to communicate that to the person as you're talking to them. Let them know, hey, I have an agreement with my spouse. We tell each other everything, no matter what it is. So if you communicate this with me, you're communicating with my spouse. At least let them know that, if that's what the arrangement is in your marriage. But for the sake of what I do, sometimes I have to be protective of people's insecurities and things they've dealt with in their past and things that they're holding real close that maybe they're ashamed of. I'm not going to communicate that with anybody unless of course they committed some sort of crime, then I gotta go tell the authorities. But barring that, that's not something I share with my spouse. And Jess knows she doesn't share other people's information with me, nor do I share it with my close friends. We have this agreement with, we call it the vault. Like it's something that here we have on the team. And so my wife and I understand it. I have this with my brother Steve and a few other individuals here that if they want information, oh, what happened with that conversation? Again, as long as it has nothing to do with them and it's not going to affect them, and the individual didn't give me that information or didn't bar me from sharing that information, that's different. But I'll say that's in the vault, I can't communicate that. That helps your reputation. But when you're the type of person who will take something and you say, well, I only told people I could trust, that's deception. Let me just tell you bluntly, that's deception. That is wrong. That's immature, and it's a betrayal of the trust of the individual who gave you that information. Well, they should know I'm very close to them. Well, then you tell them that you're going to tell them, Before they tell you, because it's not your information to give. And people do it all the time in the church. Well, I only told so-and-so because I knew they wouldn't tell anyone. Well, it wasn't your information to give. And it was actually a form of lying if you put up a front as if you weren't going to share that information. Now, again, if we're talking about crimes and sins that need to be confronted, that's very different. I'm talking about things that people communicate in vulnerability to you. You have to vault that, be a vault. I want you to type that in the comment section, be a vault, be a vault. Proverbs 16:28 says, a troublemaker plants seeds of strife. Gossip separates the best of friends. It's immaturity, it's destructive. And people need to be able to know that you're a reliable person. How can I truly help people who can't be vulnerable because they're afraid of their private information going all over the place. And it's wrong. That mindset of, I can tell just a few people because they're close, that is immature, it's childish, and it needs to be dealt with in your life if that's something you're allowing. Be a vault. And so again, if in your marriage, you think that that information needs to be shared, then you need to communicate that with the people communicating with you saying, hey, Whatever you tell me, I'm gonna tell my spouse. And that's fair, but it's not just yours to front and say, well, I'm gonna pretend as if I'm not telling anyone, and then go and do that. That's ungodly. Number 4, and this one, by the way, proceeds from ego and jealousy and bitterness and self-righteousness. Number 4 comes from self-righteousness. Number 4 comes from the ego. Number 4, comes from jealousy. And this right here is even worse than gossip. Holy Spirit, I pray you convict us in Jesus' name. Number 4 is slander. Now Colossians 3:8-10 says, but now is the time to get rid of anger. We just read it. Malicious behavior, slander, and dirty language. And we covered, of course, the rest of this portion of scripture. Slander is speaking with the intent to harm someone's reputation. Slander is speaking with the intent of turning people away from certain ministries, churches, and individuals. Slander is the attempt to get people to perceive people as negatively as you do. Now, let me tell you something. I'm gonna clue you in to a little secret that probably people who are in media wouldn't like me sharing. When you study media, there's this concept that comes up called controlling the narrative. News anchors control the narrative. Newspapers control the narrative. Radio hosts try to control the narrative, especially in politics. There's this implementation of tactics to try to do what's called, quote, controlling the narrative. And by that, I mean, they take all of the information, they take all of the facts, They take all of the stories, they take all of the video clips, they take everything, and they try to shape this narrative and try to get you to view that person in the negative light that they view them. What's actually happening is they're exposing their own heart. They're exposing their own ignorance. They're exposing their own bitterness. They're exposing their own pettiness and immaturity. Why? Because they're not satisfied until people begin to believe what they believe about that individual. It's not just good enough that they believe that individual, Is to be seen in a negative light, but they have to now go and get everyone else to see them in that negative light. And if people don't see them in that negative light, they're offended by that personally. They're bothered by that because they didn't have as much control and influence as they imagined that they did. And so we see this in churches, we see this in families, we see this in the media, we see this on social media, we see it all over the internet where people seek to control the narrative. You know, You can make anyone look bad by what you show, by what you don't show. How many times have you seen someone present a clip and say, well, there it is in their own words? Well, if you're introducing the clip, setting up a narrative, a perspective, trying to get them to see it in a certain light before the clip is even shown, and then commenting after that clip is shown, and you're saying, well, look back there, this is how I perceive it, this is how you have to see it now. Well, of course you're gonna be able to get them to see it in a certain light. That right there is manipulation. That right there is wickedness. That right there is demonic. And you see people do this against men and women of God all around the world. You see them try to tear down their reputations through crafty narrative control, through taking certain clips and taking certain stories and presenting it in a certain angle. And then they do what's called Emotional pleading, leading questions. In other words, they ask you questions about the person's motives. They try to assess and analyze and theorize about what the person was thinking or not thinking, or what the person's intentions were, attitudes were. It is witchcraft. And it is a sign of self-righteousness. People of God, we have to be aware of this. Not only should we not participate in slander, But we should also reject slander as a whole. Don't watch it. Don't converse with people who talk like that. And remember to always give the benefit of the doubt. Keep a level head, assess the information for yourself, and realize that anyone could be painted in a bad light with enough crafting of the narrative. And that right there is slander. Don't listen to it. Don't participate in it. Because again, it happens in families. Maybe you have some family members who are like that. They take your every action or inaction. They take every story and twist it. They take every occurrence or instance and put it into a certain framing. They try to move it and describe it in a certain way. They set it up when they go talk about you. Well, you know, I'm about to tell you something. You know how so-and-so is always complaining, or you know how so-and-so is very negative, or you know how so-and-so is very given to anger. And they just set it up in a certain way. And it's witchcraft. It's witchcrafting. It's narrative control. It's mind control. And it is manipulative. And often they'll come across like they're trying to be protective of you. Often they'll come across like they're just trying to speak the truth. Like they just care about people. Oh, my heart goes out. Oh, I just care too much. Oh, I just want the truth to go forward. Manipulation. And if you can see past it with the discernment of the Holy Spirit, you should call it out for what it is. Have no part in slander. And if I'm describing you, you need to repent. Slander is satanic. So number 1, complaint. Number 2 is lying. Number 3, gossip. Number 4, slander. Number 5, Jesus himself addressed this one. Jesus himself addressed this one.

Number 5, Luke 6:27-28.

But to you who are listening, I say, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. Now here, Jesus doesn't say that when somebody curses you, you have to go and break some hex through some generational research and so forth. No, when he's talking about cursing, he's talking about insults. He's talking about wishing harm upon someone. But cursing should not come out of your mouth as a believer. To curse another person, to wish harm upon them. In fact, as you study this in particular context, not necessarily in every context of scripture, but when curses are being described, I think it's actually even in the portion of scripture that we read in the book of James, I believe it was, if I'm remembering that correctly, that in that context, Cursing was being described as to wish that the people were cut off from God, to hope for their damnation, to wish that they went to hell. That was a form of cursing. And so often we speak in anger insults. We speak in anger harm upon people. We speak in anger hoping that bad things happen. That is cursing. Insulting them, criticizing them, name-calling, tearing them down, bringing up their past, bringing up their flaws, bringing up all the ways that they failed you. We're tearing them down. We're using our words to bring harm upon them. That is not the believer's way. That is not Christ's way. And you and I are not called to curse. When somebody insults you, you bless them. When someone criticizes you, you return that with blessing. Now, it's not always easy to do, easier said than done. I myself am tempted sometimes to retaliate when people come against me, But you know, you leave it to Jesus. You leave it to the Lord and you bless them and you pray for them. And you keep your heart pure. Let God deal with others. Maybe there's someone in your family who's cursing. Maybe there's someone in your local church. Maybe there's someone at work, maybe at school. Maybe there's someone online who you've been friends with for maybe 10 years. You haven't talked in a long time, but they're always putting these subtle little jabs at you in the comment section whenever you post about your family or an outing or anything good happening in your life. Bless them and guard your heart. Father, I pray you help us to do it. We repent of all these things. I want you to say that right now out loud. Say, Lord Jesus, I repent. Forgive me, Lord. We ask you to do it in the name of Jesus. We honor, we bless you. And I want you to say it because you believe it. In fact, type it in the comment section, type amen.

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