In this personal testimony, the speaker recounts a moment of utter desperation and surrender during prayer. After exhausting every human resource—technique, intellect, willpower, passion—he lifts his hands, closes his eyes, and earnestly asks for help to find Jesus. In that state of emptiness, he experiences a vivid manifestation of the Holy Spirit: the atmosphere feels thicker, a palpable love of God presses on him, joy and peace flood his thoughts, electric-like sensations travel from his feet to his head, his hands tingle, a wind blows through the room, the lighting seems to shift, and he perceives the light of Christ. The encounter lasts only a few minutes but leaves an indelible, life‑changing impact, convincing him that even a brief divine touch is worth a lifetime of seeking.
Chapters
I gave up. I lifted my hands, not because it was some technique I was trying, not because it was something that I had done before and it worked. I lifted my hands because I was sincerely just reaching out. And I closed my eyes because I was tired of the distractions of the room. I was tired of the distractions of everything I was thinking. I was empty emotionally, poured out. I was empty of thought, poured out. Emotion failed. Intellect failed. Technique failed. Willpower failed. Passion failed. It's not by power nor by might, but by my Spirit, saith the Lord. I stand there, hands lifted, and my eyes were closed, and I said, help me. I don't know how to pray. I don't know how to find Jesus. Please help me find Jesus. When I gave up, that's when the Holy Spirit got to work. And in that moment, I'm standing there, and it felt as though the Lord had taken the plain, ordinary settings of my room and lifted them to a heavenly place. The air got thicker. I began to feel the press of the love of God on my being. I began to feel joy overflowing from deep within, that peace that I had known now stabilizing my every thought and emotion. I felt from the bottom of my feet all the way to the top of my head pulses of electric-like sensation moving up and down. My hands and arms began to tingle. I felt the wind of the Spirit blowing through my room. Yes, all of this at once. It was even as though the color tones in the room had shifted, where the room looked different. And I closed my eyes, began to tremble, and I could sense the light of Christ in front of me. And I thought, if I move my hand just so, I'll feel it brush against his robe. Waves of euphoric spiritual power surged throughout my being, and it lasted for no more than a few minutes. But had I sought it for 100 years, those few minutes would have been worth it. That That moment changed my life.
