Serve to Lead: How to Build Impactful Teams

But I had a breakthrough in my life about 25 years ago and I kind of broke into this world of, hey, how do I serve people better? How do I provide value to people? Better be more selfless than selfish. And I announced everybody, you want to go start your own, you come to me and I will walk you through it and help you get there. If that's what you want to do. I want to help you get there. And today, super proud of it. There's over 70 companies that had worked through me or had been a part of my organization. It's kind of like downline type situation. And now I get to coach a whole bunch of people, helping them build that as well. And they're going through the same thing. They're going through the same thing, like, oh my God, my top sales guy's leaving and all this other stuff. I'm like, you should be high fiving that guy. That means you did a great job as a leader.

Absolutely. Well, you know that to me is impact. You know that to me, if you think about a legacy, if you go, if you try to pursue legacy like you mentioned earlier, it becomes very selfish. But if you go pursue impact, that leaves a legacy. And you know, it's.

I can see that.

Yeah, it's this idea. If I help people, if I support people, if I serve people in a way that is not selfish but is serving them, it's going to serve me ultimately because it's going to fulfill my purpose, but it's going to encourage them to do amazing things. And that idea of being an incubator, if you help people grow, that means people in your organization are growing and some of them may to go do their own thing, do something different, a lot of them are going to stay. But if you actively work to burn people out and put a lid on them and kind of put them under your thumb, they're going to leave and they're going to do so begrudgingly. And that is going to be toxic to everyone else. And then it's going to be, it's going to be internally toxic, but it's going to be externally toxic. Because then all of a sudden people are like, well, I don't going to want to go work with him. Or it comes to referral clients, it's like, well, you know, I don't know if you want to work with Jim. You know, he's all about himself. And it's like, that doesn't help anyone. And I think. And again, embracing that idea of being an incubator and one of the biggest. I think one of the biggest challenges that we face in organizations, you talk about this business coaching and. And having this sales or this, you know, actually doing the work. Right. Those separate those two and some are intertwined or whatever in the competition. And where people struggle as business leaders is they compete with people within their business.

Oh, that's good.

If I all of a sudden say I'm working for you, right? And I'm one of your lead coaches now, however that may be. And all of a sudden, you know, I am growing my business and say, maybe I'm growing in a new and different way that you can recognize is going to take me out of the role that you have for me. And you're looking at this saying, this is not good. This is not good. I need to steer him back into the ways that I need him because I need it. And then all of a sudden you start competing with me for my time.

What you said I a lot. It was all about you.

Yeah. What does that do in the business? It creates toxicity. And so all of a sudden all of that competition is, you know, internalized between the two of us. Instead of saying, hey, you know, if you were to turn around, say, Tyler, you're growing an area that we haven't really grown, dude, go chase it. Because I realize that supports everyone else in our business. How can I support you? I don't need to compete with your time. How can I either kick you out of the nest, how can I make sure that you grow in an area where obviously you're being fulfilled or two is fulfilling people around you. That's good for everyone. And again, that. That competition now all of a sudden turns external in how can we serve people in a bigger and better way? And that always beneficial.

That's so good. You see that hold a lot of. A lot of businesses back that the leader doesn't want anybody to be better than them. They actually like do things competitive to. To keep them down and hold a man down. Right. But I do see, here's.

Here's something though. I want is. And think about yourself as you've seen that most people don't realize that's what they're doing. Oh no, I'm just. I'm protecting my business. I'm making sure my business is focused. I'm making sure that our system is just dialed in. Because if we add that tweak to the system and I just listen to your system podcast. So that's what I'm talking about. System is if I'm thinking about this is the system that I've devoted so much time and it's dialed in. And if he thinks there's a better way, well, I spent so much time instead of thinking, oh, you have a better way? Well, let's figure out. If it's better, that's great. If it's better than add it to.

The system that's so good. I think so much of it is driven by ego and pride that somebody else might have the light shined on them that you were successful and you're like, well, that wasn't me, that was him. So I have to do it all in order for me to get the accolades or the recognition. Where the real recognition comes from building amazing leaders that take your company to places you would have never been able to get to without them. That's my favorite part of what it's like a competition for me, except in reverse. I am competing to see how many leaders I can build that are better than me because I don't think I'm all that great, to be honest with you. But I want them to surpass wherever I am so that they can move on and make an impact throughout the world in a very special way that fits their talents and skills. And it's so weird for them, like, they're not used to it. Whenever they come into my world and we're talking about what that looks like, they're like, what do you mean you want to make me the star of the platform, the star of the thing? I'm like, yeah, it's about you guys. I want you guys to have a lot of success and it's just very uncomfortable for people a lot of times. And I think it's, I do think it's a fear and ego and pride thing that somebody else is going to.

Get the recognition you think you deserve. Let's dig in there.

Okay.

Why do I do what I do? Why is it impact driven? Because there's days that it wasn't. There were days that it was. It was very much the fear based. It was very much of the what value do I have? So when you talk about that ego, when you talk about that pride, when you talk about some of the arrogance, when you talk about some of those things. To me, those are all symptoms outward simples identified symptoms of our insecurities showing.

Your true character and your desire of your heart. What, like what your heart truly desires?

I wouldn't go that far. I think sometimes our heart has one thing in line but our, the, the, the, you know, from a spiritual basis, all Right. I'm a person of faith. I know you are as well. And kind of incorporate this. If you're listening or not, that's fine. That's okay. Just this is a, is a thought basis that we can go from where. But if you think about you were made for a purpose and I just came up with it, just thought about this. If you're made for a purpose, right? And you want to pursue that purpose, what's the way to get you off of that purpose? To tell you lies that you're not made for that purpose. And so what are those lies? Those lies are attaching to your insecurity. Hey, Jim, you can't help people grow a business because you barely grow to grew a business yourself. Oh, you got lucky because of the right timing, whatever else. I'm just making stuff up. But those are insecurity lies. Those are lies. And we all. There is one universal truth that I have figured out in life. One absolute truth. Every single person walking this earth that is taking a breath, one truth. We all have insecurities. You, me, everyone listening has an insecurity or more.

Oh, yeah, for sure.

That'S true.

Like sitting there, like I was listening to what you're saying, like, there were certainly things that, you know, when I decided to do this coaching thing that I could go, hey, I actually built a really big contracting business. So I have that like as a credential, right. I helped build some software for the industry. So I understand process and system and stuff like that. So I had that as credential. But there was all these doubts of like, well, maybe that was just my way. Maybe there's a different way out there that I don't know. And I haven't ever been a business or leadership coach before, so what makes me think I can be one now? And I had my own problems in my business and things like that that I wish I could have done better. Like you had all that like that negative self talk and then you have the worldly negative talk.

Well, you're talking about, you know, the people that are maybe not in your inner circle, but people a little bit. I was like, jim, how can you go coach somebody? I know you're screwing it up. I know that you've had these or those problems.

I know you had a bookkeeper steal 585 grand from your company.

How can you go advise? How can you go coach people?

Because I know what not to do now.

That is what the truth insecurity tells you. But it takes that belief and it takes others. But One of the things for me is I had to recognize and understand how my insecurities were showing up because that kept me from making an impact. That kept me from building relationships with people. And so often my, my barrier to my insecurity was being intense. That was the one that I went to. First and foremost, I will put my head down and push. Oh, you don't think I can do it? Watch me put my head down and just push. And you know, a lot of times when that came with, you know, working with others, that was really hard because all of a sudden, you know, hear these high. I grew up on a farm, man. I grew up where it was working long hours and there was no lunch break. It was, it was not an eight hour. It wasn't a, you know, four tens. It wasn't where you're given times a break. It was like, oh, you're up at five in the morning and then you're done when you're done. Maybe when it's dark or it's nine o' clock at night.

Yeah.

Where was your break? That there's breaks here. Like, how does this work? Like, I got to, you know, bail and hey, I got to have a break in between wagons. And that was anywhere from a minute to. If there was a breakdown, yeah, I got a little bit more. But then there's something else to do because it broke down. All right, so how did I pursue life in my worth? And my value is I just put my head down a push. And I realized then in through this kind of journey is, oh, this is the problem when you use intensity as an armor, meaning, oh, you don't think I can do it? Watch me, right? And just push. Oh, we need to get more. You know, how many roofs can we do this month? I bet we can do a lot more. So let's push, right? That intensity, that drive, right. And you push everyone away. You become a bulldozer that just leaves carnage. Sure. You push through a mountain. You. You took down a 150 foot, 10 foot wide redwood. Sure. Great. And guess what? You look around and all there are are bodies and there are people that are burnout. You're incinerated.

That's an incubator versus incinerator.

Absolutely. And so I had to learn that. It's like, oh, that doesn't work. That can't work. I had to take a step back. And you know what the reality was, is my insecurity was showing in those intense moments because my insecurities said, you're not valuable enough.

You don't have leaders not knowing what they want. It's one of the discussions we have whenever we're coaching is like, what do you want out of this person in this role? Let's define what is acceptable. Now, once we get to there, everything should be about them and their personal growth and where they want to go and where they want to achieve, helping them achieve their potential. But whenever you say, hey, here's the barrier, right? Like, here's the number or the thing or the achievement, whatever it may be, and then you move the line. This is. Contractors are famous for this. I want you to sell this much this month. And any sales organizations like this.

I was going to say contractors. Fine. But I think it applies everywhere.

You sell a certain amount in a month or quarter or a year, depending on your sales organization, and you nail it. What do they do to you the next year?

Great. Now go do 10% more.

10% more. Like, I thought that's what you wanted. Let's just hire another person that can do that. And. Awesome. Now I got two people and twice as much. Instead of squeezing the last little juice out of the guy and burning them out and not having to be in a place where they get to enjoy a lifestyle that is provided by the vehicle that you provide them. I made that mistake a lot. Yeah.

Well, a lot of leaders do because they don't know. They don't know a different way. They. They haven't been led.