The Disciplined Leader - Graham

Foreign. Hey, everybody, it's Jim Johnson here, a head coach at Contractor Coach Pro and your host with Contractor Radio. And we're doing this week's episode. Super excited about it because we've got a special guest on here that I've been wanting to get on the show for quite some time. I've been watching him for years. I actually heard about him through a mutual friend about four years ago, and he's got a really cool story. Can't wait to share it with you guys. Before we get there, though, I want to remind you about the Contractor Strategy conference coming up in December, December 1st, 8th and 15th. It is a online virtual conference where we're going to not only help you think and strategize for your business, but help you put the tactical plan together. You can find out more@contractorstrategyconference.com so without further ado, I want to bring on the owner of Roofing 101 and Amazing Guy, one of the most disciplined guys I've ever seen in this industry. Corporate Graham. Dessert. Welcome, buddy.

Hey, what's going on, Jim?

Oh, man. Just kind of getting everything organized and ready for you guys for you to hop on. And my lighting in here is weird. I don't know what's going on today. I would like to.

I want to adjust my camera so I'm sitting and I'm centered so everybody can see my face.

There we go. Hey, center. That's a good word for you. You're pretty centered guy. I like that. Hey, tell us a little bit about Graham and kind of how you got here and maybe a little bit of your background story. It's an interesting story. I think our audience would love to hear kind of, you know, the trials and tribulations, how you got to where you are today.

Sure, sure. So where I am today, I reside in Carlsbad, California. Married with five children. Let's see. Married, five children. I'm a part owner now. I brought in some partners, roofing 101, and we actually operate in multiple different markets, mainly on the western half of the country. You know, I grew up in a large family of 10 kids. My father was in the military. We moved every two to three years. And, you know, growing up in a large family, there was a lot of things that I learned from my parents that served me well today and that, you know, a lot of those lessons and things that I learned are actually implemented into our business and the foundation that we created, you know, and the brand that we created. So I, you know, my father retired from the military. This was probably, you know, I think the late 90s and when. So he retired from the military and we essentially stayed put in the Midwest he retired from. He was an officer and whatnot. And so I went to high school in the Midwest, met my wife in the Midwest, had children in the Midwest, started my business in the Midwest, and that's where we pretty much grew up. And then after a while, my wife and I just had this on our heart to move at some point. We've always wanted to do it, and I think the thing that was in our mind was we're going to wait until our children get a little bit older. And, you know, I was concerned that if we waited until our children were older, we wouldn't do it. We'd just get too comfortable. Because at that point, you know, the business that I started, you know, the roofing company was doing well, you know, we were doing, you know, four or five million dollars consistently. I was the sole owner, you know, very profitable. We were getting very comfortable in the community in which we were. My sister lived two doors down, my parents were in the same neighborhood. My in laws were down the road. So it's very comfortable. We found a community that we really enjoyed. And we just were like, man, if we don't do this now, we don't make the move now, we may not make the move. And so we made the decision to move. We didn't have any plans when we made that decision. We just made the decision, started telling people and we set a deadline and, you know, figured it out and made it happen. And then from there we made the decision to expand the business. So.

So you're in California now, Right? Like that's, that's home base we're at in California, Carlsbad.

So Carlsbad is in San Diego County. It's on the north end of San Diego County. It's a nice, nice town. You know, two, three hundred thousand people right on the beach. Love it.

So you brought on partners. So this is one of those things that's always a little bit scary because I always look at partnerships, kind of like getting married, but worse. When you get married, you can get a divorce, you got kids and all this other stuff. But, you know, we kind of tend to work it out over time for most people. But with a business partnership, boy, if we don't get along and there's a divorce, man, that can get really sticky. So how did you go about, like, figuring out who you're going to have as partners? Why did you bring these particular Folks in.

Well, there's three components to it, I believe. And number one, you have to be competent in what you're doing. So that was important. Number two, there has to be an alignment in values. You know, there has to be an alignment in goals. And then the third one, well, that was character. So it's character, common goals, and competency. So they got to know what they're doing. You got to have common goals, like moving towards the right stuff, you know, the right things, the common vision. And then, you know, you have to trust her character. So those three things are actually the components of trust. You can use that when trying to find a, you know, a partner for life or, you know, trying to find a business partner. And so when I've all three of my business partners, you know, I've met in the past, and we've known each other for a little while, and when we sat down and, you know, came up with an agreement, we all. That component of trust was really important. The number one thing is trust and character. And so it's kind of hard to find out people's trust and character or people's character just by asking, hey, do you have a good character? Like, of course everybody's gonna say, yeah. But part of it is just getting to know that person and understanding their life story, how they make decisions. You know, what. What are their values? Because oftentimes our values are really determined based upon the behavior of the individual, because that's what values are, is essentially a set of behaviors. And so me knowing them, I know what their values are, and I've communicated mine. We align in that area, and that was the number one thing. And then the second one was competency. Do they know what they're doing? And I'd answer, heck, yeah, and all that.

So, yeah, I think that's the one that most people are looking for first is the competency. Can they. Can they bring whatever it is they're an expert at to the game? Yeah, in most cases, they can. But if there's not this alignment on the character side of things and being headed in the same direction, it can get really. I've been through it. I've had several businesses, so.

Yeah. Yeah. A lot of times, like, when you. When you find a mate, the first thing you're looking for is. Is externally, like, what do they look like? Or are you attracted to that person? And a lot of time, I mean, there's a lot of attractive people out there. There's a lot of competent people out there. But on the flip side, you know, when it hits the fan, and when you get into opposition, you get into tough times. How do they make decisions? And that's the important thing, because you're gonna come across it. And I gotta tell you, there's no year like a trying year, like, like the last nine months we've had, you know, and so every partnership, every marriage is being tested right now.

Yeah. That, you know, you see a lot of these reports and stuff, and divorce is way up. I mean, when people are like actually spending time together and they're finding out that maybe that's a little bit more difficult than they thought, and some of these partnerships aren't really a partnership. It's. It's almost like this symbiotic relationship where you do your thing, you do, I'll do my thing, and we'll get through it. But then when we start spending a bunch of time together, we start finding out that we're not all as aligned as we thought we were. It's kind of a sad story of this whole entire pandemic deal. So I always like to ask my guests a few questions. So I'm gonna ask you one. And I know for you, your wife and your kids, number one ultimate. That's the thing. So I'm gonna ask this in a way. What's your greatest achievement that doesn't involve wife, kids, like getting married and that kind of stuff, the family stuff, because she knows. She knows she's number one, right.

She knows that she's actually. She's number. She's number two.

Okay. So. God, I'm with you.

Yeah. And I'm the same with her, man. Like she. I get it. Totally get it.

Yeah. It's the same with my wife and I got first, then each other, then we got our kids, number three. Their business is way down there, actually, for us, so. But your greatest achievement to date, not involving, you know, the family side of things, because that's kind of our obligatory answer.

Oh, man. Gosh, there's so, you know, the biggest achievement that I feel like I've accomplished was really understanding my own personal power. And I don't, like, I don't say that in a way of pride or putting myself above other people or above our God or anything like that, but we're all made a certain way, and we're all made to thrive and be victorious in what we pursue in our path in life. I didn't really understand what that was all about until about four years ago I signed up for this. You know, it was a civilian based Navy SEAL hell week Simulation, essentially is what it was. And if you could just imagine 55 to 60 hours of, you know, no sleep and just literally getting your face kicked in by, you know, trained professionals, that was probably the greatest achievement. But in that, in that process, you know, I don't even really know how to explain it, but there was a time where, you know, I wanted to quit, which is totally normal. I mean, you know, you're getting your face kicked in. Everybody wants to quit when that happens. But I wanted to quit and I knew I wasn't going to. But I ended up talking to one of my teammates. You know, we were going, we're basically on our way up this mountain. And I just told him, I didn't really, I was like, look, dude, I don't enjoy where I'm at. I don't like this, this sucks. My attitude sucks. I'm not going to quit. I want to, but I'm not going to. And I just need you to just tell me jokes and tell me stories for the next four hours because literally we're just on our way up this mountain. It's going to be like a 10 mile track and 10 miles uphill for a night. I was just not in the great mind space. And so he did. And there were times where literally people would put their hand on my back and push me up. Like they just, they just, they're right behind me and they're just walking and they're pushing me up. And then there'd be times where I would just grab somebody's shoulder, you know, and just, just hang on because it just, I was just in that, that mindset of, you know, not defeat or anything like that. It's just a total negative mindset. And so what ended up happening, we get to the top of the mountain and at the top of the mountain, you know, I had dinner. It was probably 11 o' clock at night or midnight or something like that. Had dinner and then felt totally replenished. And it was like this switch flipped and I went from like the lowest moment to like the highest moment in a matter of eight hours. So on our way down the mountain, we get down to the bottom, the sun starts coming up, we get transported to this lake and we start doing these sprints. And you know, I made the commitment because I won one sprint. The first sprint I won and it was all individual work and I won. And then I made the commitment that I wasn't gonna lose another one. And we just sprint after sprint. There's probably 20 or 30 sprints up this boat Ramp, like we're laying in water and then they blow the whistle and you run up to the top of the boat ramp and back. And whoever wins goes to go stand in the winner's circle. And so I won once and I tasted the winner's circle one time and I made the commitment I wasn't going to lose one sprint. And there was a point in time where the coach was testing me and he would hold me back, he'd blow. Well, he actually didn't blow the whistle. What started the race was the phrase pays to be a winner. So he'd say it pays to be a winner. And then that was the cue to take off running. So he would say pays to be a winner and then grab. He grabbed me and held me back and let everybody get like a, like a 10 second head start. And I still, I still won the race because it was just like this mentality of I am not going to lose. And that, that morning as the sun was coming up and I was standing in the winter circle, that's. That is the most powerful moment of my entire life. And I felt the warmth of the sun come up over the mountains and I'm just standing there absorbing it and just standing in victory. And that was the most powerful moment. And what's awesome about that, Jim, is I can literally access that moment at any point in time and take myself back and feel the power and the victory in that moment and take that to anything that I do now.

That's absolutely amazing. First off, like, this whole mountain climbing thing, I saw some of the pictures on Facebook and like, man, that is pretty intense. And I'm kind of familiar with the program that you went through. At least a version of it. I've seen a variety of those and they are intense. Have you always been, like, uber competitive like that?

You know, I was an athlete in high school, kind of grew up, you know, playing sports, played football in high school, wrestled, you know, did weightlifting, competitive weightlifting. And then in college, I played football in college and took about a 10 year hiatus. You know, dropped like, you know, last game of my senior year in college, you know, I turned in my pads and was like, I never want to see weights or run a sprint ever again. Like, that was like, what was going on up here. I'm like, I'm done with this crap. And then, and then like, you know, 10 years later you look up, you know, 10 years and, you know, five kids later you look. I was looking in the mirror and I'm like, you know, I gotta do something, dude. This, these, these man boobs and this belly's gotta go. And so, yeah, that all switched about six years ago. And then I, I didn't really know where to start, so I started doing group training. And this is my recommendation. If you ever want a place to start, it's finding a group of people that will show up consistently every day early in the morning. I found that, I found a group, found a trainer that trained people in groups. The reason why you choose a group is because you're committed to working out with someone and it becomes a team and they hold you accountable to showing up. And that's really all that's what you need to do, is show up and the trainer basically gives you direction. So I did that for about two years and then I got into CrossFit. And then, you know, from there is game over.

Yeah, you, you've been ever since I've known of you. You're very dedicated and disciplined. That's the thing I kind of want to talk about today, is discipline because there's not a, there's not a guy that I see in this industry more discip to like this daily regimen of stuff. You do these things called MRFs. Can you explain for the audience what a, what a MRF is and how that plays out? I think it's 365 days of this commitment that you've got going on. Is that right?

Yeah, yeah. So first off, a MRF is it's what in the CrossFit world is called a hero wad or workout of the day. So there's, you know, first responders, military men and women that have died in combat or, you know, in service, and they have created workouts to commemorate or, you know, honor those people that have died and they're called heroad. So Lieutenant Michael Murphy was part of, was part of that. And he has a hero wad called a Murph. And they actually made a movie called the Lone Survivor. So you guys make, you've probably seen the movie, but Lieutenant Michael Murphy was the seal that went up on top of the mountain to get the comms reed so that they could call in reinforcements. And so he got fired upon and was killed in action. So then they created this hero wad. And now people do this every year as a challenge and as a way to memorialize and remember our fallen soldiers, especially Michael Murphy. So a Murph, essentially the workout is running a mile, doing 100 pull ups, 200 push ups, 300 air squats, and running a mile wearing a 20 pound weighted vest. That's what a Murph is. So I've been doing that every single day since February 22. People have asked me like, hey man, why in the world would you do that? What's the point? And a lot of it is to create discipline. And there's a lot that I've learned through this commitment of doing the workout. And you know, the big thing is doing daily work. Doing something daily that's difficult actually creates discipline, creates the pattern, creates the habit. Because we all have habits. We all have patterns that get created. There's patterns and habits that serve us and there's patterns and habits that don't serve us. And the ones that don't service, you want to break those. I actually created a program to actually help people do that. But it's all just based on what I've learned in the last year or so. Well, actually over the last few years. But the patterns that do serve you, obviously you do more of that. But then the craziest thing about patterns and habits is that you do it so much and there's so much repetition that it's hard to undo it. You know, one of my favorite, one of my favorite quotes and one of the things that I've learned is that repetition is the mother of, is the mother of all skill until it is conditioned. Then it becomes automatic and all you have to do is press a button, you know. And so now what I've learned through this process of doing a Murph every day for the last 250, 83 days, I think today was 283, is that, you know, it just, it's all hard. And discipline is temporary. Motivation is temporary. And there's just times where it's like you just don't want to do things. But it's so automatic and conditioned now that it just, it doesn't matter what gets in the way. It's going to happen. I'll give you an example. I made the decision morning, we're in Mexico and I made the decision and we're, we're in Mexico for a few days doing partner meetings or whatever. So I woke up Saturday morning in Mexico and I made the decision, you know what? I'm not going to do my MRF until I get home. You know, flight gets in at 4:20. We're going to grab some dinner and then I'm going to go murph it up and then hang out with my wife or whatever. So we landed, I went and did the mrf. It's not really convenient to do it after a day of travel, especially when you get home from vacation, like that's the last thing you want to do is work out. But it's so conditioned and automatic that it's just like it's, you know, second nature. Here's another example. So yesterday was Sunday. I made the decision ahead of time. I'm going to do the MRF after 9 o'. Clock. I'm going to spend a full day with my family. Now I know like a full day with my family and usually I'm winding down at 9 o' clock and it's not going to be easy, it's not going to be fun. But I wanted that full day with my family. Sundays are really important and me and I didn't really have a choice to work out or do the training early in the morning. So we did our church thing. I had this nutrition challenge that I was leading yesterday. I wrapped that up, did the grocery store, cooked dinner, sat down, watched the Chiefs game at 5:20. That lasted a long time. Got done at like 8:30 or something like that. Well, I was on the couch sleeping through the second half of that game. I was tired. Last thing I wanted to do was wake up and go do a Murph. But it's so automatic and the pattern has been created. It doesn't take discipline anymore to do it. Because discipline is temporary. Discipline will create freedom. Right. And it's past that. It's past discipline. It's just happened. Now the hard thing now is going to be on that 366day breaking the pattern of doing the MRF. Does that make sense?

So I have a question about it because I was thinking about that like this. Any of these things that we do that are challenges like this. You know, there's the 75 hard, I've seen that one. And there's all kinds of nutritional deals, a week long 30 day, the whole 30 diet and that kind of stuff. That's the question what happens on the 31st day or the 366th day? And is it something that you're just so conditioned to it that you're going to want to continue, you think?

Probably in a different way.

It may not be quite the intensity, but you'll replace it with something else.

Yeah, I'll replace with something else. And you have to make. So the thing is, is that if you don't make the decision ahead of time, you're going to be left to your own devices. And so in this case, if I don't make a decision ahead of time, guess what? I'm doing, on the 366 day, doing another Murph because I'm conditioned that way. So if you haven't, if you, for example, if you're doing 75 hard, if you haven't decided, if you don't decide what you're doing on the 76th day, you're, you potentially could go back.

Well, I see that a lot with people that do the whole 35 hard thing. Chris Danielson, I don't know. Do you know him? He does a 75 heart. He never stopped, he just kept on going. He's still just every day you see him post his post and it's cool to see that. But I wonder how many people go, I, I'm done and I'm finished and they just kind of go back to where they were before.

97%. Yeah, I, I bet 98%.

I, I would, I would venture to guess that's the case. It's like I got finished and I, I tend to be that way. Like, I'll set challenges for me and I'll do those challenges. And whenever I get done with the challenge, I'm like, hey, I finished it onto the next thing, but I usually replace it with something else.

Yeah, we all do that. That's human nature. That's human nature. And you know, a lot of it has to do with our belief structure. So one, it starts with your beliefs, which lead to our thoughts, which leads to our words, which leads to our actions, which lead to habits, which lead to values, which then tie back into new beliefs that are set. So, you know, that's like, that's like the magic formula. And you can dive into all those things, you know, really deeply and start to make changes. And if you make changes in one, it starts to affect everything else.

So is discipline something that people are hardwired for or is it something anybody can learn?

Anybody can learn it.

What do you think brings it about? What's the thing that goes, okay, I know this thing's going to be hard, but I'm going to do it anyway.

It's your level of commitment and your level of focus. Like, I'll give you, Nick, here's another example, and this is what I talk about with, with even my employees. But it's like we're all, we're all made and created to be, you know, like I was saying earlier, victorious. So I'll just use an example of a lion, right? So we're all, we're all made to be a quote unquote lion. And you know, if you Think about it. The. The. The lion is one of the most powerful beings on the planet, One of the most powerful animals on the planet. And how do you tame a lion? Tame a lion with a stool. Right. You see, the lion tamers, you know, in the circuses or whatever. Yeah, the stool. Right. So how could. How. Like, why does a lion get tamed by a stool? Well, because there's three legs, and it doesn't know what to focus on. So because a lion can't focus because it's got three legs to focus on, you know, it gets tamed. And so that's what happens. A lack of focus and a lack of commitment is what keeps us from the discipline and creating the new habits. So anybody can get derailed.

I think Pandemic derailed a lot of people. I mean, I was in the gym. Even after my Achilles deal, I was in the gym still. It was still open, so I was going and doing what I could do. Then when they shut it down, it's like almost an excuse, right? It's like this excuse. Well, you know, the gym's not open.

Very convenient.

Yeah, that's where my routine is and the whole bit. Fortunately, I've done a reset, and I've got a whole thing set up at my house now so I can. So I can get my workouts in. But so. So that's all discipline, kind of in the realm of, you know, fitness. Nutrition seems to be a big passion for you. Almost like that's maybe more important than the roofing business. Is that a fair statement?

Well, here's. That's a great. That's great, great topic. We can talk about that. So this was brought up last year. You know, I was. I was asked this question that just kind of blew me away, and I'm like, okay, well, maybe there's something here. And, you know, it's like 39 years old at the time. And, you know, you think you know everything, and you're on the path of, like, you know, what you're supposed to be doing and all that. And so at our church, there's a group of entrepreneurs, and it's like this apprenticeship program, and there's probably about 15 of us, so we met every week, one night a week, every week for six months. And they brought in all these speakers, all these people to come in and talk and super powerful. These speakers were awesome. Never would have thought in a million years a church function would be more powerful than most of the coaching and development stuff that I see on the market. I'm sitting there and this gentleman's up in front of the class, and he's addressing us. He's just like, I have a question for you. I go, okay, cool. He kind of has a smile on his face, and he's like, if you had all the money in the world, what would you do, you know, if you had it? And he was like, just pick a number, you know, not like a million or 2 million or 3 million, because, you know, you and I both know we could spend a couple million dollars pretty quick, you know? Oh, yeah, Like a million dollars is a lot of money, but it's really not that much money anymore, right? So he's like, okay, so let's just say a couple billion. You know, you are gifted a couple billion dollars. What are you gonna do? After you bought the house, after you went on these vacations, you went and visited the places you want to visit, and your bucket list is done. Like, what next? Because when that happens, like, you're gonna. You're gonna get through that pretty quick, like in two or three years. So you're 39 years old now. Just say by the time you're 43, you still have billions of dollars in the bank. Like, what are you going to do with yourself? And I was like, oh, interesting. I was like, you know what, dude? I would play music and I'd work out all the time. That's what I would do. I'd work out and I trained because I love the feeling that I get from pressing myself right physically. And I love music. I like playing music. I love singing. You know, that's how my wife and I met. And so I would do more of that. And that's really just using my creative brain space, you know, I'm sort of a mechanic when it comes to things. I like to, you know, get my hands dirty and do things, you know, with my hands, which is the whole working out thing, you know? And then also I love creativity, which is music. And so I think that there. I think everybody has that in them, you know, and that's the desires of your heart, you know, Everybody has a desire inside their heart, you know, and we have. We have a tendency as people to put an expiration date on that, you know, like, if it doesn't happen by the time I'm 30 and I'm just gonna let it go, or if it doesn't happen by the time I'm 35, I'm just gonna let it go. I'm 50 years old. I'm too. I'm too old. It's too late. For me, you know, or even, even you just flip that around. Like I was talking to some of my employees about this when we were creating vision boards. I'm like, listen, you know, you're 21, 22 years old, and a lot of people look at you and say that you're not capable because you don't have the life experience behind you for you to get the results or do the things that you want to do. That's complete B.S. you know, just because you're 21 or 22 doesn't automatically disqualify you from going after your heart's desires. And same thing as a 60 year old, you know, just because you're 60 doesn't mean it's too late. Just because you're 70 doesn't mean it's too late. Just because you're 40 doesn't mean your ship has sailed and your body's out of your prime, you know, and then the other, the other question is, if you think your, your, your prime is gone, what, and you're saying that for yourself, physically, Physically, I'm past my prime. Well, what other areas does that bleed out into? Does that mean that you're past your prime spiritually, does that mean you're past your prime? You know, relationally, does that mean you're past your prime mentally too? Because that's what happens when you. Because it all has to do with our thoughts and it bleeds into other things.

Your mind's a powerful thing, man. It is unbelievable. You know, you really are what your thoughts are. Whatever you're thinking, whatever you're focusing on, whatever you're repeating to yourself often is usually what you will become. And so I do some daily affirmations, stuff, those type of things to kind of keep my head above water. You said 50. I said, you said 50. I'm like, crap, okay, so I'm past that. Is that too old? No, it's not. I feel like I'm still just kind of starting. I got some big things that I want to do and accomplish in life and, and they're kind of aligned with you, which is one of the reasons I wanted to get you on here today. So let's transition from, from the fitness and the, and the nutrition and stuff. And let's talk about discipline and work. How do you apply the same thing to what you do business wise?

Great question. I think it comes down to planning and scheduling, making decisions ahead of time.

Yeah. So you've made these decisions that your business is going to be this thing. Right. And because of that you have to put in this hard work to make that happen. And that's really what discipline comes down to for me at least, is I've decided something's going to happen, whether it's writing this book that I. I was after or doing this contractor, coach, pro thing. Whenever I first started this, this was not a like, hey, I want this thing to be big. It was just I was going to coach a couple of guys and call it good. I'm kind of. Don't really have to work all that hard and that kind of stuff anymore. But then there was this day. It all clicked. I went, this is a decision. Am I going to make that decision or not? Because once I make that decision, it's like this commitment, and there's going to be a lot of hard work involved. It has been. But the last has been really difficult. And I'm not really at a place in my life where most people would think, hey, you want to take on something difficult, let's go for it. By this time, people are going, how do I get it? Make it easier? And my team, you know, they. They notice it too. I'm constantly, like, pushing the envelope and pushing things forward because I almost feel like the day that stops happening is the day I'm dead. Like, I was just. I might as well just to write it off at that point. But it usually comes down to a passion thing for me that I'm after something that's really cool, but there's a lot of hard stuff that I got to do to get there. And that discipline part that people miss is like the cool thing, that payoff. Like, we. When you got off that mountain and you ran those sprints that end with the warm sun, like, that was the payoff for all that intensity and hard work.

Oh, dude. Yeah. I just remember that moment so vividly, you know, And I'll never forget it. I'll never forget that feeling. And that's what I go back to.

So you were talking about your people, you doing a vision board and stuff like that. I'm big on asking people, why are you doing what you're doing? Why do you exist? Like, if you were to die today, like, you walk out of here and it's over, what have you done that mattered? Like, what, what? And whether it's to just a few or many, what have you done? And I think a lot of people don't really think about that. Right. I think a lot of people think about, what am I going to do this next day or this next week? We don't have this. This thing they're chasing, which I think when you have something that you're chasing, discipline gets a little bit more involved.

Would you agree with that? Absolutely, 100%. And I think it, you know, the prior question had to do with how are you applying all this stuff to, you know, to your work and comes down to commitment and focus, you know, your level of commitment and your level of focus. And I have to admit, you know, my level of focus, there's times when I'm just. I'm not that focused, and, you know, I get derailed just like anybody else does, you know? But the number one thing is not forgetting, like, having that vision, you know, and understanding what the end result is. You're working for the end result that you're working for. That helps keep you focused and on track.

Yeah. It helps you go, okay, I'm gonna get out of bed today at this time.

Yeah. Yeah. For me, it's like the mission. The mission is do for others where they can't do for themselves. You know, make the world a better place, one person at a time. And I can do that through my work. You know, I can do that through roofing. You know, that's why.

That's why I, like. As soon as we started talking, I was like, man, this guy and I, we see things the same way because I feel this need, this. I can't even really describe it, but I want to help people. It's what our core values are based off of. Love, serving, care, and that's how we coach, and it's what we do. And if I can do that enough, I feel like I can have an impact. I feel like I can make a difference. And all that's through God. I don't have any control over. He gives those opportunities or not. And so far, so good. Do you see it that way, too? Like, these opportunities are put in front of you. You feel almost an obligation to do things the right way because of your spiritual background.

Yeah. It's really not up to me. If I get the message. Hey, Graham, I want you to sell your business, and I want you to go here and do this. I'm gonna listen.

You know, that happened to me seven years ago. I was at Accu Links, and I got the message, said, hey, resign. I didn't even know why. Just I was in a big. I was in a big prayerful moment, and only word I heard was resign. And I did the next day, didn't know what I was gonna do, and flew back home. And my grandfather went into the hospital for the next three months. And I got to spend his last three months with him.

Dude, that's so powerful. You know what, you may not have been able to do that. Yeah, you stayed, you know, and that, and that's a part, those are powerful moments. I tell you, the moments I spent with, you know, the legacies in my family before they passed were very, very impactful. You know, my grandfather, and I'll just explain this real quick because it's on my vision board and he like just deeply impacted my life. I was 20 years old and you know, I come from a big family of 10 kids. So there's, we're all there. He's a hot car, he's at home, he's in bed. Like he's got, you know, the little oxygen stuff in his nose or whatever, the hoses and you know, it just looks different than what I've ever seen him. But the guy was smiling and laughing and my sister brought her son with him and introduced and was just like, here's your great grandchildren. And the look on his face was unbelievable. It was just like this, this overwhelming joy, you know, and just peace. And I was like, you know what? Like it doesn't, all this other stuff doesn't matter. What matters is. And so then I just created this vision for myself. I want to see my grandchildren have children and I'm going to take care of myself so much so that that'll happen. And then my, and then my wife's, my wife's dad or grandfather guy was like 80, like in his young 80s and he's out in his front yard mowing his yard in his young 80s. And, and in Kansas City, it's like, it's not like you have small yards like we do here in California. I have like a, I have a patch of grass for a front yard. You know, it's like six foot by eight foot, you know, whatever. It's not even a yard. But there it's like, you know, like a 10 acre yard. And the guy would mow his yard and he's like 80 some odd years old. And I'd see that and I just get inspired and be like, man, when I'm 82 years old, I want to mow my yard.

You know, if my kids don't get in a hurry, I might have some issues. That's, that's a big reason for why I've kind of changed my health habits and stuff is I wasn't really focused on that. And that starts going, hey, you know, there's going to be crazy grandkids. I want to be able to throw a football. I want to be able to throw a baseball with them. I want to be able to do those things and. And hopefully someday they'll have kids. I want to actually try to do that at that point, too. I might have to live to be 110, but my oldest is 30 and is the first kid that's going to be born a grandkid. That's going to happen in April. So I didn't think I'd be all that excited about it, but I'm like, super uber excited about it. It's really cool. And there is this thing, like, I feel almost this responsibility, like, I gotta be that person. Like my grandpa was for me. He was that guiding force, that morality person in my life, you know, man of your word, that kind of stuff. And it's always stuck with me. And like, you, you know, he had all the hoses and air and all that stuff hooked up to him. I don't picture him like that. Whenever I picture him, I don't see him as that. I see him as that. That guy with his arm around my shoulder and just kind of walking me along and tell me all the hard stuff that I don't really want to hear. But look back today, and it was really good advice. It was. He was a good man. All right, so speaking of mentors in our lives.

Yeah.

What's the best piece of advice you've ever gotten from a mentor?

Best piece of advice ever got from a mentor? Gosh, I've. Let's see. Hold on. I. Dude, I journal and make notes. And I would say the best piece of advice is probably the piece of advice I get. You know, the most recent piece of advice, which is this morning. Okay, so I will. Okay, so here's a couple of things. The busier we are looking at others faults, the more likely we can't see our own. I wrote that down this morning. I was like, oh, I need to write that down. And I'll write, like, I'll write down these thoughts and these things, and then I'll just. All those are topics that I can come back and write and journal and reflect on. So. And then here's another one that I wrote down. Peace doesn't exist without opposition. And so there's an example given. I was just. I was listening to this book. It's called Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyer, one of the best books I've ever read or listened to. And I'm probably. This is probably the sixth Time that I've listened to it in the last, like six or seven months. Dude, if you haven't listened to it or read it, you gotta write it down, man. You got it. You have to. It's such a good book. But she's talking about this example. She's like, peace doesn't exist without opposition. People, people always have this vision of what peace looks like. And it's like completely still, and it's like, no, that is not peace. What peace is, is essentially, it's like. And she started to paint this picture of this waterfall, this massive, huge waterfall, like Niagara Falls, right? And then there's this tree right by the waterfall. And then there's this branch that goes over it, and there's all this chaos around it. And then there's this bird, bird's nest, and this bird sitting in this nest over this gnarly waterfall with lots of noise and chaos. And the bird is sitting there sleeping amongst the chaos. That's what peace is. And peace is being able to live and being able to exist and function in all the chaos.

That has been a really, you know, everybody, I think, is talking about, you know, what's been the impact of this whole pandemic and all that other good stuff. And really, you know, I actually kind of surprised myself. Normally, anything like this, I would probably be a little bit weirded out by and, you know, a little anxiety and stuff like that. I haven't had any of that. It has just been like, hey, you know, it is what it is. I'm. I'm good with God. I'm not gonna really worry about this stuff. I still got to get up and do my thing the next day. And that's been more rewarding to be in that chaos and still calm that. To me, that's what peace is, to be in that chaos. Everything whirling dervish around you and you're still like, I've got this. We're good. Throw it at me. It's okay. I can see that. That's really good. And that is some amazing advice. And finding that peace isn't easy. I think a lot of where that comes from is, at least for me as a spiritual person, comes from my. My relationship with God, also my relationship with me, being comfortable with who I am, not trying to impress anybody, not worrying about what anybody else is doing, just being happy that I'm good enough. And that tends to give me a bit of peace whenever I go about my day. All right, last question. We're pushing that 45 minute mark here, so Last question. Well, actually, I got to ask you something else, because we haven't talked about it, and I don't want to miss it. You have started something new. And it kind of leads me into this question. I always ask this question about, you know, we all only have so much time on this planet, right? And at the end, we're gonna. We'll be sitting in a box, and there'll be a bunch of people there, you know, hopefully celebrating our lives. And what do we want them to think about us? And you've started this whole leadership thing for. For kids. Is that what you want your legacy to be, or is there more to it than that?

There's more to it than that, but it's certainly part of it. You know, and I. You know, when this pandemic happened and the shutdown started happening, you know, I'm sitting there with my kids. They're. You know, I have five children, four at home. Once one's out of the house and starting her life. And, you know, they're. They're doing school online, and they get done in like, an hour, hour and a half, and then they'd sit around the rest of the day. And we did that for a couple weeks. And I'm like, all right, enough of this. So I'm like, okay, what? Like, if my kids are experiencing this, there's kids across the world that are experiencing this, and parents, like, we're all kind of experiencing the same thing, you know? Now parents are trying to figure out how to teach their kids, and it's just. It can be a mess. And so thinking to myself, I'm like, okay, so what can we do that's productive? So I literally went outside, and I'm just, like, standing in the sidewalk. I'm, like, looking around. I'm like, you know what? My boys need to go out and wash cars. They need to go out and wash cars. And so I taught him how to, you know, start a car washing business, and, you know, taught him how to go knock doors, taught them how to talk to customers, the scripts to use, what to charge, how to put together budgets, how to put together schedules, how to put together a plan, all that kind of stuff. The very next day, they made 90 bucks. So within one day, they made $90. And then I thought to myself, like, man, this. This is. You know, this is great for them. This is fantastic. And then I'm like, well, this is an opportunity for all kids. And then I thought, well, this is a great way to actually redefine and define what leadership is. For children and entrepreneurship. You know, entrepreneurship and leadership goes. Goes hand in hand. Like, there's no better way for kids to learn leadership lessons than to actually go out and start their own business with real people and real money and real experience. So I just went. I went hard at it, and within about a week and a half, I had about a 70 to 80 page workbook together with different exercises and things like that. Started filming videos. There's probably, I think there's maybe 50, 60 videos together. And put together a course called Leaders Next Door. And essentially what it is is to teach entrepreneurship to young kids, all the while teaching them about leadership, you know, and then once they learn how to make money, what do you do with it? You know, that's the big question. You know, they want to go spend it or, you know, but you got to teach them how to spend, you got to teach them how to give, you got to teach them how to save. You know, the big thing is generosity. But, you know, I defined 17 different qualities of a leader. And so within that, it's the 17 different qualities of a leader next door. And then there's different things that they can learn, different ways that they can learn each quality. And one of them is generosity. You know, it's something that's not really taught. So it's a big part of. Big part of the legacy. And so, you know, I made it for my children, but then, you know, now it's taken to market. So we have this program now and, you know, we're actually. I'm going to open it up here in a couple weeks to start doing like a monthly subscription, different exercises that kids can do because they may not want to be an entrepreneur, they may not want to go out and work in the neighborhood, and that's okay too. But, you know, there's. There's different things that parents can do to work with your kids to build them up as leaders. Growing up.

I think it's actually the most valuable skill we can teach our kids is the leadership skills. And there's all kinds of them, and it's cool. 17. I don't know what those 17 are. I'm sure I can probably guess quite a few of them off the top of my head. It's having that format to it of realizing that there's this thing like generosity being one of those things. Okay, now, now that I know that thing, what does that mean and how do I do it? And you start to establish these habits that kids do. And at first it's not easy for, like, I can Remember my kids, you know, earning money, raising money and stuff like that. And, and the whole generosity part wasn't part of what they did. And so that's how we got involved with the church and really started to do some things there. That is the coolest legacy. When I heard about, I reached out to you right away. I'm like, hey, I can help you. I don't want anything for it. Just. Yeah, it's part of my passion, part of what I'm after with a little bit older crowd. Because I think my worry is a little bit different that I think kids today think one of two things. I've either got to get a college degree to make it, or if I don't get that, I'm going to work at Arby's or McDonald's. And that's not really the case. There's so much, there's more opportunity on this planet today than there's ever been figuring out what it is you want to do, and that's what I want to kind of help with, is the figuring out of what you want, want to do and walking them through that. We have a five step process to figuring out what your purpose is and then how to turn that into actually something that's valuable to you and to other people. So that's kind of what I'm after. So when I heard your thing, I was like, dude, man, whatever I can do, whatever I can do. You. You ask me, I'll do it. It's. I think it's a. I think it's one of the coolest things I've ever heard of anybody in this industry being after.

Oh, that's great, man. I love it. Thank you. And where this all came from is I just got stirred up in my heart to inspire generosity in people. And then I was like, well, I'll just put a dollar amount to it. A billion dollars. Okay, I'm going to inspire a billion dollars in generosity. And then I was like, you know, I was sitting there thinking, I've got to do that, so it's got to come from my own pocket. And I'm like, no, man, like, the best way to do it is to inspire other people, right? So, yeah, you can inspire adults, but it's a lot easier to inspire kids and to teach kids these principles because then they'll have it the rest of their life. It's super hard to teach an adult generosity.

So you said it was part of the legacy. What's the legacy you want to leave behind? Like, when people are there on that day what do you want him to think about, Graham?

That's good. I think what. It's such a good question. And it's like, I think you'll get a different answer just about any. You know, because part of it has to do with, you know, my vision board. But then I'm like, you know, does my vision board matter? Does it? And, like, I think at the end of the day, it goes back to the generosity piece, you know, that I inspired so many people to be generous, and I inspired people to, you know, be a better version of themselves. And how many people did I lead to live a better life, which ultimately leads to, you know, our Lord, Right? You know, because I think at the end of the day, when we're, you know, when we're. When we're judged, it's one of the things that we're going to be asked about. How many people. How many people did you bring to me?

Yeah, that's.

And it's not like you got to go out and, hey, man, if you can go out and get. You can bring thousands of people.