The Most Important Trait with Reggie Brock

Foreign. Hey everybody, it's Jim Johnson here, the head coach at Contractor Coach Pro and your host on Contractor Radio. We are pumped to have you here today. My guest is an absolute all star. Cannot wait to introduce him. The whole goal of this show is to help you get better at what you do through strategy, tactics, entertainment and education. And the person that's going to be talking with us today, I look at him as one of those voices of wisdom. He's one of those guys that whenever he walks in a room, everybody else kind of gets quiet and wants to hear what he has to say. And I've been wanting to bring him on for a long time. I finally convinced him and tricked him into being on the show. And so we're going to get to that guest in just one minute. Give us a second here to bring one of our sponsors on. We got to pay the bills and we'll get started with the show here shortly.

Ricky Harmon with Balance Claims. I'm here in the Balance Claims office to help answer one of the questions I hear all the time. Why use Balance Claims? Well, I have two of the account managers here, Travis Croft and Emily Caldwell, to answer just that.

Contractors should use us because we have experts on site that are well versed in xactimate, able to write our estimates and make sure that your claims have everything accounted for, making sure that you're paid out correctly. Contractors should use Balanced Claims because we are hassle free.

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So you heard our from our AMs. There are multiple reasons why you need to be working with Balance Claims. If you want to reach out to us, our email is successbalancedclaims.com or you can reach out to me directly. Ricky Harmon at 317-360-0903. Talk to you soon.

All right, that was a little message from Balance Claims for you restoration contractors out there. The folks at Balance Claims have been my friends since they got into this and they do a great job of helping you administer your claims, get them done quicker and more profitable than you would do before. And so if you're looking to get that done, go and check them out@successalance claims.com Ricky Harmon is your man. All right. Today we're going to be talking about a very important trait. I don't want to give it away, but it's the most important trait that we can have not only as business owners and leaders, but I believe as just human beings. And I've brought a special guest on today that's going to share with us some of his thoughts on that subject. And like I said, this is a guy that you want to pay attention to, listen to, because he brings great value every single time he opens his mouth. Reggie Brock from Beacon. Welcome aboard, buddy. Good to have you.

Hey. Hey, Jim. It's always good to be with you and excited about being on contractor radio.

We couldn't be happier. This is something I've been wanting to do for a long time. You and I have known of each other for quite a while. I'm probably a decade or more at least. And then we kind of connected a couple of times at some events, but just a short little thing. And then we got the opportunity to hang out for a little bit. And you actually interviewed me for a thing that you were doing. And I really enjoyed not only that conversation, but the conversation after, like, getting to know you and understanding a little bit more what you're about. So give us the Reader's Digest story of Reggie Brock. Like, how did you get to where you are today and kind of let everybody know what it is that you do.

Thanks again, Jim, for letting me join you today. And I agree with you. We've known of each other the last 10 years, but we've gotten fellowship together over the last couple of year, really, and it's been exciting for me. But from a historical standpoint, I spent most, most of my adult career in the insurance business. I did everything from claims to policy construction to, you know, developing offices for two major 500. What do you call them?

500 Inc. 500.

There you go. I worked for them. I wasn't smart like them. And so I helped build out offices for these guys. And really in 2010, 2009, our family just had a major disruption because I made some bad choices, really bad choices that, you know, really took us to the bottom of the barrel in every way. And we hightailed it to Texas. You know, we didn't have a whole. A lot of root system much anywhere our family was there. So we moved over there and I started literally knocking doors and selling roofs for a roofer there in Burleson, Texas. And, you know, when my nephew, who's a home builder told me, he said, hey, I got something you can do. He said, it's roofing. And I told him, dude, it ain't that bad yet. And so, you know, it kind of spurred me into it and I really Just started knocking doors. First storm I worked was the San Antonio storm of 2010 or maybe 11. I can't remember when it was. No, it's 2010. 2010. And, you know, learned a lot from the ground up. Didn't know a whole lot about roofing, but I knew a lot about policy. So it was pretty easy for me to kind of walk into that world. I really had a focus at that point on, you know, getting deductibles and working a claim from a standpoint that I knew was the right way to do things, even though the crowd was really not in of front favor of those type of techniques. And so I got some notoriety there. People started asking me to come and do some training for them to get the same thing. Long story short, I went to work with an MRP and learned that side of the business. And over the last three or four years, I started talking to Michael Carver, Greg Bloom and those some of their leaders at Beacon and just kind of worked out be two years this November. I'm at Beacon. Very, very happy living in Florida. Life's good. Jim.

That's awesome. When I heard that you went to Beacon, I was like, wow, what a great fit. Just all things about Reggie have always spoken highly of how you see things and you do that. And I don't want to give it away because I'm trying to avoid a word that we're going to use here in just a few minutes, but I've always thought of you as a man of this thing. And we're talking today about what I feel at least is the most important trait that we can have as a leader and really as a human being. And so I want to talk a little bit about character. You're passionate about it. You believe in it. Could you, like just briefly, if you can. I don't know if that's a brief thing, because character is such a big thing, but briefly describe what it means to be a person of. Because characters could be good or bad, but we want to talk about good character, I hope. What is. What does that mean to you?

Well, I think you have to define what you feel character really means. And to me, it's really the mental and moral qualities that are distinctive to a specific individual. Right. I mean, it's the things that tell our story, not the words that come of our mouth, but the deeds that we perform. And that's sometimes very, very difficult for us to really accept. We think that we could talk our way out of anything. And the reality of it is we live our way out of things or put ourselves in things because of the decisions that we make, the choices that we make. And you know, you and I have talked about this before. There is a rising up in our industry that is tapping into this very important notion called character. And because people are wanting to change, they're really wanting to have not just character, but good character and not just living a life, but living a good life. And to me, it's just those distinctive markings that make me, me and you, you and defines us to other people.

Yeah, it's. I know this term is always one of those terms that's been taken and really kind of put into a bad light nowadays, but we're all like snowflakes almost when it comes to character. Everybody's unique and they're distinctive. Like you can tell them apart by their deeds and what they do. You mentioned something that's really like being very noticeable to me right now. You said there's a rising up in our industry and specifically the roofing industry. But home services contractors in general, we work with a lot of different trades. And I'm seeing it in this particular one of roofing, but I'm seeing seeing in a lot of others as well. What do you think is, is driving this idea of really like doing things right? I mean, where the character lands for me. What do you think is driving that?

I think our inner man is screaming at us saying things can get better. But it's not always about changing your exterior life that creates those things. I think every one of us has a built in component in us that sees past just what happens around us. It looks at what's happening in us. And I think that there is a huge cry out right now. I mean, guys, folks are starting to see their lives really not as complete and whole as they want it. And they're looking around them for answers. And I think what's happening is they're now starting to sense that there's things inside of me that have to change so that the outside experiences that I'm wanting can actually come to be. And so I really think that's it, Jim. I think that there's been a ton of focus on exterior things for all of us. I mean, we go to conferences and they're all great. I mean, there's a lot of training, there's a lot of development on getting better from an exterior standpoint. I mean, it's just actions and deeds and techniques and trainings and procedures, again, all for it. We got great people doing that. But I think there's an Unanswered question in the lives of many people saying this, why am I still feeling empty as it. I said that I still can't seem to have a meaningful relationship with the important people around me. And so it's driving them not to look for answer to answers from other people or other places, but inside. And so I think that's the big reasons why that you're seeing unrest and uneasiness and people making turns because their life is headed in a direction they don't want to listen. Everybody can make a comment on your life, but you're the only one that could change your life. And I think right now what's happening is that stirring is happening and people are going, life could be better, but I need to start inside and work out. Wow.

Yeah. I was hoping that you would bring the heat like that.

And.

And it is something that is palpable. You can feel it. There's tangible results of it. I think some of it is. The folks internally are sitting there going, something's not quite right. Something's just not feeling the way I thought it would feel. Whenever I did this thing or became this thing, I'm kind of lost. I don't know what that is. And then they start looking around them and they start noticing these companies that are really sticking out, and they notice that they're not sticking out because of how much money they make or the cars they drive or the planes they fly. Although that does grab attention. The thing that seems to be grabbing the most attention is this idea that you can do this business and do it right and get that fulfillment, I think that we're all looking for as human beings. You talk about the inner man. I believe this concept is uber important for this conversation because we're constantly in this space of comparing ourselves to everybody else. And so that's the external man. You're, like, looking at that person going, hey, that person has done this, and I've only done this, and so I'm not as good as that person, or the reverse of that. I've done this thing over here that's amazing. And that guy's only done that. That makes me better than him. But in the end, when you're by yourself and you're reflecting on those thoughts, it feels like there's just something missing. And I think that's that. That inner man talking to us. Can you dive into that a little? What do you.

What do you think that is?

That's actually, like, driving that emotion.

So a lot for me, and I'll speak for me A lot for me is I've never really accepted the authentic me, right. I always wanted to be something that I couldn't find in me. I've always run after things that I've never been able to accomplish myself because somebody else did it. It automatically made me think that's what I want. So the authentic Reggie is somebody in many times of my life. And some of it's been because I've screwed up so often, right? I've just. I've always looking at somebody else, what they're doing, how they're doing, thinking if I could be that man, life would be great. And I think what's happening is men are starting and women are starting to realize that who they are, Jim is who they are. And how do I build that out? And if it happens to run into lanes of other people doing more successful things, so be it. But I have got become content with who I am. Because listen, no matter what you want to do and how you want to phrase it, we are who we are. And there can we change? Of course we can change. But there's DNA issues in all of us that really don't allow us to look like or be like somebody else. Now, does it mean that the testimony and the lifestyles of other people that we see successful is bad, a bad thing? Absolutely not. We need goals, we need ambitions, we need push. But at the end of the day, before all that else can happen, you've got to be comfortable being you. And when you start sorting that and feeling that life will start changing.

Yeah. You know, it's funny, I noticed this as I. I'm an observant person. I like to just kind of watch and observe. And I noticed there's, there's people out there, whether they're on Facebook or Instagram, social media and stuff like that. And sometimes you hear him almost crying out, you know, this, this, this feeling of like, why don't people want to hang out with me? I actually had a picture of a guy on Facebook the other day. He was sitting on his bed all alone, and he shared about what it felt like to be alone. And it bothers me. Like it's one of those things that hurts me inside because I think the thing they're missing is this authentic them. They're trying to be something else. They're trying to push the situation or the relationship or the, the, the acceptance instead of just accepting who they are first. And once they accept who they are for like me, this all happened to me 17 years ago in a fit of holy spirit Jumping on top of me and just going, hey, man, you need to change your ways. And. And that was, for me, like, everybody's a little bit different about how this comes about. For them, it can be a slow progression or just something that's like the snap of a finger. But once I realized, like, it was okay to kind of just be me, because being me may not be what everybody goes as. The cool guy, right? Like, everybody wants to be the in crowd, the cool guy, the whatever, right? And they, like, carry this almost high school type feel throughout the rest of their life, this clicky type thing. And what I realized is I'm pretty goofy, like, naturally just kind of goofy. I wouldn't call myself funny necessarily. I tend to smile a lot, and that's okay. I don't have to be Mr. Business all the time. I don't have to wear a suit and tie to get my thing done. I can share my faith, and that's okay. I can talk genuinely and authentically to you, and not in a way that's like, hey, would you be my friend? It's like, I'm genuinely interested in you. Like, hey, let's just talk. And that's worked so much better for me than trying to push this forced relationship. You mentioned a word earlier, and I want to. I want to dig into that one before we get into some of the other stuff, but you mentioned this word fellowship, and so many folks talk about relationship. I want to be in a good relationship with somebody. I want to have a lot of relationships because business is all about relationships, right? But you use the word fellowship and being in fellowship with me, and I really appreciate it, and I believe likewise with you. Can you explain the difference between those two things?

Yeah. I'm in a relationship with a lot of things. I'm kind of in relationship with this chair I'm sitting in today. I'm relating to it to hold me up, right? And so we have relationships. We talk about relationships, and they're important, and everybody has them. But fellowship is intimacy. Fellowship is where we start digging deep with one another and truly looking at all good, bad, and indifferent. And we accept it, right? And so fellowship to me is at another level. I mean, it's where we break bread. And I don't mean just sitting around a table and just talking endlessly for three hours at a conference. I mean, where life is broken together, right? And we start seeing and start feeling and start observing and start caring for and start asking questions that matter to somebody else about their lives, that can help them. That's Fellowship. That's a whole lot different than having just a, you know, kind of general relationship. And there's nothing wrong with relationships. I'm glad this relationship I got with this chair this morning is doing Lightwood. But go deeper. It takes you into a level of fellowship which is more intimate.

Yeah, you know, I. I'll go back to faith aspect of things. Christ seemed to me to only be in fellowship with 12 people. He was in relationship with a lot of other folks and knew who they were and knew a lot of them, but he was truthfully in fellowship with those 12 people because he knew what their responsibility was going to be at some point. And do you believe you can be in fellowship with everybody, or is it normally like a smaller group? Like, I can have a lot of relationships, and those are great and wonderful, but it seems to me like fellowship is. It takes a lot of energy. Like, it just does well.

And I think the connection is what creates the difference. Right. The connection between a relationship and someone you're in fellowship with. And you. I mean, you brought up a good point. I mean, and think through, you know, think through businesses. You know, the businesses that, you know, have great team leadership. Those guys are in fellowship, intimate relationship to drive the culture of the company. And so, I mean, from a biblical perspective, you're absolutely right. Our Lord did not have 40 people close to him. He chose 12. And the reason they were 12 was because he knew that there was a work that they had to focus on from a macro standpoint. Right. That only they could really filter and process in their head. Very selective. And so, yeah, to your. To your question, I think that fellowship generally is far fewer in our lives in terms of us being in a fellowship relationship, if you will, than having a bunch of friends at different relationship levels.

All right, I want to. I want to come back in just a second. We got to get one of our sponsors in here. You know, even though we're. We're here sharing about some pretty important stuff, we do still have a business. We do still got to get the bills paid. We're going to get those guys queued up here, and we'll be right back. We want to come back and talk about, you know, this. This trait of character. I want to talk a little bit more about that and then kind of sub traits that determine what a person's character is all about.

Sounds good.

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If I could put on all Atlas products and avoid any type of streaking and drive by that roof 10 years from now, and it looks like, like the day we put it on, that's what I'm looking for. That's the peace of mind I want to give my customers. It's just an easy sell. All right, that was a little message there from Atlas. I love the folks at Atlas and what they do for contractors, their. Their character and how they help out with the contractors that are in their network is really strong. Is why there's such good alignment with us. And so if you're looking for a way to add some value to your sales process and the products you offer, go check out Atlas. They're amazing. All right, Reggie, let's dig into the character thing and this rising up in our industry. So I've noticed over the past few years that there was a shift happening in how people were going about business. And I think a lot of that was driven by social media in general. This access to information that if you didn't do things well, everybody knew about it. Right. We could share that information. Really fast. Like, they could give you bad reviews on Google. They could talk about you all through their neighborhood groups. And so you couldn't do maybe some of the shadier things that used to happen in our industry anymore. And so I think that was one of the driving factors of why there's a bit of a shift in our industry. But people started to realize it was successful, like, you could do it right, and things were good. And then here in the last couple of years, I've noticed people truthfully taking a position of character and saying, this is who we are and what we're all about. Whether it's storming to the new era, which is where you and I really got well connected. There's roofers in recovery, which. Helping guys that have alcohol and substance abuse. There's. There's contractor fellowship, this group that we put together, and we meet with people trying to figure out the whole walk with God thing and whether they are Christian or not Christian. Everybody is welcome. There seems to be more and more of this as time has moved on. You say this inner man is what's driving us for that, and that's kind of determining this character that we may want to become. Because I think you can be one type of character and become another character. Would you agree with that?

Of course. Yeah, absolutely. So we're not defined by a moment.

Go ahead. Yeah. That's one of the great things about being a human being, even when the bad stuff happens. Right. Like, I've had, like, your story. I've had plenty of, like, man, it's. It's not good. Very selfish, very me oriented. Literally, people to me were pawns and stuff in a game of chess. Treated them like a dollar figure. I really kind of an awful human being. And. And all that changed for me. Like, okay, I need to do something different. And I got into this position of saying I got to serve people. And it literally changed my character overnight. It was like I became a different person. And ever since, I've become that different person from a genuine and authentic place of saying, I want to serve you and I want nothing in return. The return has been amazing. God has truthfully blessed my family, my business, my relationships with the people I'm in fellowship with. It is a thing I sit there every day and reflect on. Like, man, this is just awesome. I wish everybody would do this. So that's. That's kind of my character journey. It's hard, though. You got to be consistent. Everybody's looking for that opportunity where you don't do what they're Kind of expecting you to do if they think you're one thing. Sometimes things are taken out of context on social media and stuff, but all I can do is control what I can control. And so this character that we talk about, what are the, what are the components or maybe sub traits that determine your character?

So interestingly enough, what you just said is the beginning point to me of a change in character from maybe a mediocre bad character to a good one. And that is what I basically call you come to yourself, listen, you don't. Very few of us listen to meaningful to other people until it is a desire of our own. Right? I mean, I, you know, this last week, you and I, we were at a conference and I heard some testimonies of guys getting up there talking about their old life. Listen, sometimes your life gets so bad, it forces change. It ain't like you're just so lovingly wanting to do stuff, but when you hit rock bottom, it, you know, you've got to make a change or, you know, nothing changes. And so I think what happening first is people come to themselves and they realize, oh, my God. If you. In the Bible, the Bible talks. Everybody knows the story of the prodigal son. Listen, the father didn't send out a bunch of soldiers or a bunch of servants to get this kid out of the pig pen. When his life changed is when the. And the Bible says this, he came to himself. So I think for good character to replace bad character, good decisions to take bad decisions, it takes one realizing and coming to themselves and thinking, heck, I don't know what's going to happen here, but this can't go on. I've got to get up, make a change and move on. Now, some of the sub traits, Jim, you know, I think character it defines is defined as we've talked about, but the traits are seen and reflected in number one, I would think your choices, you know, when you're moving from a mediocre or a neutral place of regarding your character, which I don't think there is, there's either good or bad. And you're wanting to have more character, good character in your life, you've got to make better choices. I mean, we can talk about character development when it comes to conflict resolution. Most of us who have dominant personalities want to dominate everybody around us, and it only causes more strain and conflict. You can talk about multiple things when it comes to traits of character, good character when it's revealed. But that would be a couple of them I would start with.

All right, so I was Right in there. So that's a, that was for the pause. So first two aspects of this. And you're being nice to everybody and you kind of finished it there at the end. You're like, there's really good or bad, there's not much in between.

Right, right, right, right.

Neutral means that you're a hermit and you live nowhere and nobody's in contact with you. There's bad character and there's good character and, and we have to come to this. It was a come to Jesus moment for me. It was like, okay, that's bad, this is good, which way you want to go. Because if you continue down the path you're going to go, it's just going to get worse. Or you can decide to follow this other path that's different. And maybe that's what it was for me. Like I wasn't feeling very fulfilled in what it was that I was after and what I was doing, what I was trying to achieve and accomplish in life. And I'm like, well, I can't keep repeating what I was doing because that's not working for me, so I gotta try something different. So that was, that was my choice. And so there's component one, like the choices we make, we make a decision to do something about it. But it's not just that one decision, it's every decision after that. Every choice, every action, every. Everything you choose to do from that point forward has to be in alignment, I believe with that new path that you're on. Would you agree with that?

Oh, a hundred percent. You know, I think the choices going forward are just the check mark of your commitment. Right. If you're not, even if you say, yes, I'm making a change and I'm going to treat people better, I'm going to talk, treat people better, I'm going to lead better, I'm going to have a better marriage. Your next choice is going to confirm or deny that.

Right?

And so, you know, that's what people don't realize. It's like I saying I'm something but not living. That makes has no impact on people. Again, let me say that saying you are something and living not according to that limits your impact on people. People can sniff out a fraud, right? And so, you know, all the way from the closest people to you to those from a distance, you know, and so I think you're to your point. The next choice is the one that check marks the commitment that you've either made or you've talked about making. And you know, so the next and the next and the next and the next verify the decisions and the choices you're making as committed.

Yeah, I became very mindful of those choices from that point forward, which is something I wasn't very mindful. I just did. Right. I did for my own selfish needs and that kind of stuff where after that moment, it was like, all right, this thing I'm about to do, is that the thing that I need to do according to the path I've chosen? And I was very mindful of it in the beginning. And I want to share something with everybody. You're going to make bad choices still just because you decide you're going to go on this path. We still make bad choices. We're human beings. It's what happens. But having this awareness of it, this mindfulness of it, you recognize them for what they are, they stick out more, and you start to get back on that path. And so it became this thing where, because I was mindful of it, I thought more about it, and I was a little bit more aware of the decisions I was making. And I had to really work at that. I put things in front of me to, like, I had things up that said, make good choices, serve others, and things like that, just as a reminder. And it's really become a habit now. And I'm by far not perfect, like, but it's really become this. Like, when a decision that needs to be made, I don't have to think about it near as much anymore. It's become more natural and more habit. Do you see that in people? Like, do you see that?

And I want people to hear on this conversation, you making a bad decision on your next choice does not make you a bad person. Right. And so this is a habit. This is like everything else. Everything we do in life that matters to us becomes a habit. And sometimes things we don't want to be and don't want to become become habitual in our lives. But just being mindful, and that's a great word you use, being mindful of every choice that defines you to those around you is like, really, really important. Are we perfect? Nope. But being mindful of. I hated doing that. Making that same decision again. What can I do to correct and move forward? I think is critical. And then all of a sudden it becomes habitual and it becomes something where you're going, like, your triggers are different when it comes when you're confronted with the decision and a choice like that.

Yeah, I can remember walking away from decision, from interactions early on and going, did I treat that Person, like a person or a pawn or dollar sign. And I would have to ask myself that. And I was like, oh, man, I did it again. Gosh, those are bad habits. And I would go and repair that as quickly as I possibly could. The second part of it was conflict resolution. This ability to have a conversation with somebody in a way that hopefully builds a bridge instead of putting up a wall. We tend to throw our opinions around like nobody's business, and we don't consider the impact that that's going to have on somebody else. Whatever it is that we post on social media, we share in a small group, we're at a conference, talking with somebody, we throw this opinion out that we. And we may believe very strongly in it, but what it does, it puts these barriers up between people that they now no longer want to interact with you. And so that's one set of conflict resolution. And then there's the other side, where I have a relationship or fellowship with somebody and something comes up and there's conflict. What's some of your viewpoints on handling that conflict resolution that'll determine that character?

So I think the reason we're lousy at conflict resolution is all we think about is winning. Right. And I'm not saying that winning is not important, because it is. It is. But at what cost? Right. And so I think that we can change and adapt our conflict resolution style and be very impactful, especially on the people around us. I think that's what it boils down to. You know, we go into conflict and think, some I gotta win or they're gonna win. And the fact of the matter is, how is there a way and an opportunity in the situation that one defines himself, where everybody can walk away still feeling together? Right. You know, most conflict drives us apart. Sometimes, though, with proper conflict in a great relationship, it. Iron sharpens iron, Right. And that. There's nothing wrong with that. But when you go into a conflict with an employee or a family member or, you know, whoever it may be, you know, and your only ambition in thought when it comes to a conflict and resolving it is I've got to win. And until I win, we're going to keep bleeding one another, you know, until that mentality kind of, it gives way to what you use the word repair. What is it that. Where can we find the balance in this so that, you know, there is. I mean, this is not like a participation trophy we're given to everybody, but it's like, how do we. How do we maintain disagreement without tearing each other's head off? And ruining the relationship. And so. Or we start closing people off, or they start closing us off because there's that constant aggressiveness in us that we just have to win. And until we can resolve that, I don't think we repair much.

Do you think this human need to have a reason that something didn't go right or that I didn't win? We use this thing that. I've been very aware, I've been studying a lot about this. Blame. I want to blame somebody else for whatever has happened to me. Do you think that has a lot to do with why we get into so much conflict?

Yeah. Well, I think it's. We want to be able to blame other people, and we want to be able to, you know, just not assume responsibility and accountability for our part in whatever it is. Right. And sometimes you don't have a part. Listen, sometimes it's nobody's mistake. Sometimes it's just the ebb and flow of life that hits us all at the wrong time. And we come in contact with each other and it's just bad timing, you know? So I think the thing that's important to me that shows good character is that we mature in how we deal with conflict. Because it's coming. It don't matter what level of life you're in, no matter who you're in it with. Conflict is coming because we have that distinct, different fingerprint. Our DNA looks different. We see life different. Look, my wife and I have been married 31 years. I know you're shaking your head. How could she last that long? And I would tell you, she would tell you probably 17 of the 31 years has been really good for her. Right. The other 16 or whatever or 15, and kind of, yeah, we've had some ups and downs, but the fact is, we had to learn. We still have to every day learn how to interact in times of conflict. So we just don't tear each other's heads off and say something and do something. And you know that you're going. You know, all of us have had that, oh, my God, do I have to? You know, after we've done it, been through it, we feel guilty about it. Those are the times where we have to learn from and find some other way to resolve our conflicts, though they're going to be there for the rest of our lives.

It's maybe the most valuable thing that there's two or three really powerful things that have impacted my life from this contractor fellowship group. And one of those things is this idea of blame. And so we had a conversation about that, and Reggie was the one that kind of opened my eyes. I'm grateful and thankful to you for this because I'm always in this state of improvement. Hadn't really thought about it before. And I am that person. I'm like, it's either your fault or my fault. There is no possibility that it just might not be anybody's fault. And so you bringing that up, that. And I think the words we use with crap just happens, right? Nobody to blame. So anytime I get into conflict now, I put it through this lens, and the first thing I do is I look at myself. Did I cause this? What did I do to possibly bring this about? The second lens I put it through is. Is anybody at fault or is it just happening? And then the third lens is. Is the other party playing a part and how do I repair that? And so I try to go through that lens, and I want to thank you for that. That's. That's a personal thank you. Because while those things didn't all happen at the same time, we've had different discussions that all led to this lens. For me, it is tremendously helped me in interacting with other folks. And I'm grateful for your wisdom. Whenever you talk, I try to listen as much as possible. All right, so we got choices and conflict resolution. Is there anything else?

Yeah, I think there's another trait or sub trait that is revealed. It reveals your character, and I think it's in confidence that we exhibit in our process.