Why 97% Fail to Achieve Their Dreams... (Part 2)

Foreign. So we've kind of covered all that. I thought that was pretty good. Maybe nobody cares about listening to us. So one of the things that study, I, I've seen that many, many years ago, but I saw a recent one because I'd never seen one on this before. I'd always seen one on vision. I'm very business oriented. That's the kind of books I read. And self improvement, all that other good stuff. But you know, this idea of achieving our dream has been really on my mind for the last several years. And so I was looking into some studies on it. The studies were showing that people were asked in the latter years of their lives if they had achieved their dream and 97% said no. 97%. Now, is that just an age thing and you don't think you accomplished everything you should accomplish or is that a genuine thing? Like, hey, I had this dream and I thought I really wanted to do it, but I didn't.

I don't know, I, I feel like I would have to like look at the study and find out what, look, what was the, the parameters of, of what they asked? Because, you know, they were all, they.

Were all entrepreneur or slash business folk. They were all very latter years, like 80s plus the, and the concept was, did you achieve either your dream or your life goal? Do you feel that you did that? And 97% said no. I was a little bit taken aback by that, to be honest with you. Because me in the younger self going, when I get there, what am I going to say, right? I want to be in the 3%, not the 97 if I can. And then the next step kind of was how do we flip that number? Anytime I see numbers like that, the 80, 20 rule, this whole 93, 97% deal, and 3%, like, how do you flip that? I don't want people to go down that road. There's that problem solving thing, right? I see a problem. How, how do we fix it? Do we sometimes make our dreams so big that they're not achievable and thus we feel like failure?

I think that there's two. I mean, considering that study, entrepreneurial minded, entrepreneurially minded folks probably will never be satisfied, right? Probably still saying, man, there's things that I could do, you know, to get to reach that dream. But oh, but I think that really, whether or not it's too big ultimately means that you, you have, you have established your dream. Like, I think that maybe the lack, I think the issue with discovering that you not accomplished your dream or your life Goal is, I don't. I'm not sure there's a lot of clarity around it is what I want to go after. So you can objectively say I did or I did not.

Otherwise that was the crux of the study.

That's. Well, that you're John's poking. Because that was going to be my answer. My answer was going to be like, how many kids dreamed of being an astronaut? Like, a lot of them. How many kids actually become an astronaut? Not very many. Are the people who didn't become an astronaut okay with the fact that they didn't become an astronaut? Most of them probably, like, yeah, I'm fine with that. Like, yeah, that was my dream, but I didn't become an astronaut. And yeah, you know, I'm okay with that.

I.

My life went a different direction. I'm happy with.

So you're hitting on where I was at with it. So the question really is, was that really their dream? Like, that's the question. And so John, I think, nailed it too, with, I don't think people are actually clear on their dreams. So they can't answer that question correctly.

So they have to go to whatever was in their head at some point, which was, I want to, you know, I want to be a multimillionaire. And that was the last thing that they really thought was a dream. And then they're like, no, I didn't achieve that.

That's exactly where I went with it on this. So cool. But that just happened. And so back to the problem solving thing. Okay, so if that's what I believe actually happened, how do we fix it? How do we find clarity on our dreams? And so I'll start because this has been a big challenge for my entire life. I'm a guy of faith. So there's this thing babbling in me all the time. There's God's path for me and what he wants me to do. And then there's Jim Johnson going, hey, I want to achieve some things and do some things. And I want those two things to be aligned if I can. And I always question whether they are right. I think a lot of people of Christian faith or maybe any kind of spiritual faith probably feel the same thing, which is why I think we end up focusing on the wrong thing. We end up focusing on that end result thing that we're doing, which a lot of people would call our why. Right. Instead of focusing internally who, like, who am I and what am I about the level of impact I have in doing who I am? I don't Think matters as much as we sometimes give it weight. I think doing what fulfills us based on who we are. I don't know if I'd have a whole lot of regrets. I have a lot of regrets before kind of getting to that point of self discovery or whatever you want to call it. But since then or since that time, yeah. I haven't always met every goal I've tried to get to and everything, but I don't feel like I've necessarily failed either.

Well, you don't regret who you are.

Yeah.

And so I think that's different than saying that I don't have a regret. Like I, I'm for the most part okay with Nathan. Maybe that's 80, 20, I don't know. But like, but I don't really regret who I am. And I know that so much of how I've lived have brought me to being where I am. And, and I'm. And I am grateful for being as developed as I am it, you know, also realizing I've got a long ways to go, but I'm grateful for being right here, right here and right now and who I am. But I think that living in your lane thing is so huge. You know, like, like if you had a, if you had a. I'm trying to think of an analogy because that's always one of my ways. Like you've got a 5 foot, 5 foot 10, 210 pound guy and you're, and you're trying to, you're trying to make him a wide receiver and he's just getting blasted out there because the corners are all over 6 foot and you know, 20 pounds lighter and twice as fast. Right. So not going to have a real good time as a wide receiver. You make that person a fullback or running back and now all of a sudden like who they really are, they're running in that lane much more successful. Now here's, here's an interesting little spin on it. Even if, even if that person would, that that guy described would have remained as a, as a wide receiver in the team won the super bowl, probably now gets a Super bowl ring with everybody else, but probably still would have had more fun and enjoyed their life and enjoyed their contribution as a running back, he knows.

He knows too. I have experience with this person. He knows that he didn't play a role in the actual success of that team or at least not the role that he had in his mind of playing. And so while he may have that ring, this happens to athletes all the time. They sit on the Bench the whole entire time and they get a, get a ring. I mean, do you feel the same as Jordan with a ring? Probably not would be my guess. I would have probably used basketball as the analogy. 5 foot 10 guy at the post. But that's just me moved into point guard now. We're great, right? You said something pretty important there, the loving ourselves part and being comfortable with who we are. I think we get bombarded every single day with who the world thinks we need to be. We need to solve world hunger or provide clean water or be super involved in my church or just any of these things, right? Like from big to small that everybody else is saying that's the way you should be and that's what you need to do. And we don't, we don't really want to do it. It's not who we are. I can tend to press sometimes because I want to solve all the world's problems, but I've gotten much more comfortable with how. I just help work on the problems that have some direct involvement with the.

Ones that are right in front of you.

Yeah, I got plenty of those. Why am I trying to solve everybody else? How about just two people instead of a billion or seven billion or whatever there is on the planet? I've gotten much more comfortable in that because that's the thing in front of me and it fulfills me. Like, hey, if I can help one person, all good. How do we, how do we get there? Like we've talked about like, you know, the failures and that stuff, but is it just an experience thing? You just go through life and now you've dealt with enough crap that you start going now and is that complacency? Is that settling? Is that like going, I guess I'm not going to solve those huge big things. So I'm going to step it back to this little Earth thing. I don't feel that way, but I think a lot of people might be there.

I think that.

Huh.

A lot of us. I mean the word that's coming to my head is impact.

Right?

Just impact. And while I feel that many. Some of us are called to feel called, were led to impact at a huge level. Some of us are called or feel led to impact at a very small level. I think that we. I. Yeah, and I was thinking about this while you're talking. I think we are all, we all feel a tug to create an impact somewhere. And so how do we make it happen? Like, I don't think, I don't think there's a complacency but the impact of how I can. Impacting one life, one person, one in this lifetime can have ripple effects for generations.

Right?

I mean, the impact I make with what's right in front of me. And so I. But I think that ultimately it comes down to are we. Do we have that pull to create.

Impact.

To have a purpose here, to serve? I think that a lot of that, a lot. Those are some answer questions that need to be answered. But then how do we do it? I think it kind of goes back to that, that role that we're talking about, that role that you play, your sweet spot and how you. How you help and how you serve, how you create impact is unique and special to you.

What if I. What if I don't know my role? How do. How do I. How do I figure that out?

You mean the, the, like the role I play no matter where I am?

Yeah, like. Like we have some inclination. We've. We've been around for a little bit now. Right. But you two are pretty different. You're like, my role has always been this. Nathan's like, I was that and then I was this and then I was that over there. Although I would challenge him on that and start to ask which one was the one? That was your lane, right. Which one was the one? You go, man, I like that. And you kind of talked about it a little bit with that consulting thing. You're like, hey, that's pretty cool. But you also ran. Have run in that lane and you're still going, is there more?

Sure.

And so how do you, how do you get to this place where you go, yeah, I know what more is, because I. And I think we all go through these seasons in our life where I wonder if that's not going on with you a little bit. Gone through, gotten competent confidence, going good, things are great. It ain't done yet, though.

I think that there's phases and so part of me thinks that. Yeah, like, because you asked earlier, like, is that an age thing? I've definitely met people who are older than me that are down the road a little further, right. Who, who haven't. Haven't figured it out. Right. Like, they're still there. There's like, there's far too much nuance to make this simple. I think that there are people who, who haven't done very well at gaining wisdom as they got older, and they still battle and, and don't really look functionally much like a different person now than they did 15, 20 years ago. To me, that's a sad. I that makes me sad, like to see somebody who, who I'm like, this person's like 60 some odd years old and honestly, like, I don't know where you started, but I don't know how much. There's not a whole lot of growth here. Like I, I know 30 year olds that are more mature than you. Like what's happened, that's sad to me. So. But at the same time, I think that there is a natural progression as people get older and begin to learn more about who they are and what they value and then be able to let go of some regrets. Like people like, man, I could have gone pro, I could have gone for. It's like at some point they go, I didn't and I'm okay with it, right? I look back and I look at, like, I look at being a little older now and seeing what pro athletes go through to be a pro athlete, it's a lot. And when you're 8 years old, you don't realize how much of your life you're gonna give up to hit that. I think about Olympic athletes is their life. It is their. I look back and I go, man, I'm actually kind of glad I didn't have that drive because I got to do a whole lot of stuff that if I'd have been an Olympic athlete, I wouldn't have got to do that because I'd have been spending my every waking moment on whatever that sport is. Right.

I don't think it's a lack of drive, I just think it's a different drive, right?

I think it is a different thing. And so. But I think as you get older, I've always said that the key to growth is self awareness. So if you can increase your self awareness and then continually be able to know what's valuable to you. And like you, Jim, I'm a guy with some faith and some things that are outside of myself. And I believe that those things get put into you. And so discovering those things and then figuring out how to live in a way that you're, you're consistently chasing after the things that were put inside you that are valuable to you because I think that they are different for different people. And I think different people have different capacities. How many amazing, powerful human beings have lived and nobody knows their name? I submit to you, probably millions of amazing human beings have walked this planet and we don't have books written about them, we don't have giant gravestones marking where they are. We don't have, you know, a lot of history, but those People existed. And just because they existed and died and nobody knows that they existed doesn't mean that they didn't have an impact.

Yeah. Two of the greatest people I know, you don't have a book written about. One's my grandfather and one's my wife's uncle. Most impactful human beings on the face of planet in my world and on many others, but not that many. Right. But down the line, generational, like John said earlier, who knows what impact they may have? And see, to me, that's enough. That example was set to me that that was enough. And being cool with being enough. I think some people may associate that with complacency. I don't see it that way. It doesn't mean I don't. It doesn't mean I quit working on getting better and growing and all that other stuff. But for right this second, I'm enough. And tomorrow I'll be just a little bit better and that'll be enough the next day and the next day and the next day.

Right.

What's that?

Well, what's the motivation? That's another key thing to ask yourself when somebody's like, I just have this drive to do this thing. That's okay. Is it all about you?

Right.

Because I think that especially in our industry lately, like, the legacy and impact have become this really like, huge thing. And everybody's trying to talk about it all the time. And some people do a pretty good job of it and some people don't. But what I. What I realize is that two generations from that one generation from now, there's a really strong possibility nobody's going to know who Nathan Thibodeau was. Right.

I'd argue that, but I mean, I.

Mean, I'm okay with it. How many gener. Think about the greatest person that you've ever met in your entire life. Anybody you that are listening. How many people know that person? And well, how many people will know their name in two generations? So then my question is not necessarily like, what are you going to leave behind? It's what are you doing now?

Exactly. What are you doing now?

If I helped as many people as I possibly could and I died penniless because I dumped everything I had into others and nobody knows my name, I think that's a good death.

That's like almost a mic drop.

I don't want to do that. This is expensive.

Yeah. I think so many people. And just in a little bit of a, like, maybe cut it down to readers Digest. I think so many people fail to achieve their dreams because they don't have clarity on who they are and what they're doing and being okay with who they are today. Always looking at what am I going to do with this thing in the future? And as of today, I'm just trying to impact the listener who's listening to this. Might be one person, might be a couple hundred, who knows? But I hope it impacts one. Heard one thing that made a difference. I'm good with that. And if it doesn't make an impact at all, actually do with that too. It gives me an opportunity to get better. Why, why can't that be enough? I think there's so much of like, I gotta do something amazing to be seen as enough. I'm reading this book right now. It's mind boggling. I would have put it down by now, but it's about the Wisconsin badgers. So I like the badgers. But the book is called Intentional Mindset. I can't remember who gave it to me. Somebody suggested it. There are 10 components of this intentional mindset. And underneath each of the 10 components are seven things that you got to do. I'm like, that's 70 freaking things to have an intentional mindse about this. How about I just be quiet for 15 minutes a day and be intentional about my time and what I'm going to do that day? How about that? It can be that simple. We get so bombarded with what everybody's telling us to do and believing that that's the thing I'm supposed to do. I think Reggie Brock, our friend, kind of hit the nail on the head with that. We, we could stand to listen more internally than to be bombarded by information externally.

Sorry, I was just. I think we're also being conditioned to, to say that there is no, there is no such thing as enough.

Who's the happiest person? You know?

Gosh, probably my wife.

I've met your wife. She's an amazing person. And I would agree with you, man. She's like always in joy mode. You guys don't have big fancy house and fancy cars and airplanes and jetting off all over the country and all that other stuff. And she's happy as a clam all the time.

Yeah, she's always happy.

My one year old.

She'S pretty awesome. Let's go with adult. Who's the happiest adult? You know?

My mom.

Wow. And she has every excuse not to be.

Yeah. Healthy health struggles going back quite a bit.

Yeah.

But man, oh man, just positivity.

That's why, that's why I think attitude gives you amplitude. Your attitude can affect everybody around you and sometimes that can be enough. Don't get so caught up in the dreams that the world expects you to achieve. Connect with who you are. And achieve a little bit more each day. Do we need a dream. Now? I just opened this up to a longer conversation. Do we need one?

I, I, I think it's good to have something to, to shoot for. I think it's good. I think it builds carrot. First of all, it helps just understanding what that thing is. I think is, is a road of self discovery. Okay. Just trying to figure out what it is you do want to try and get after. And then being able to apply yourself towards accomplishing a thing, I think builds character and then failing to get there. Probably the most amount of character. Like, like that. I, I like. Success is a terrible teacher, right. So achieving it feels amazing. Not achieving it is an opportunity for growth. So I think we should have some dreams and I think we should have some goals and some things that we press towards. But realize a couple of things. Number one, your identity is not wrapped up in them. You are not that thing. Which means that if you don't achieve that thing that you're now some sort of failure or loser. I don't think you should wrap your identity up in those. Which is, which is, once again, I think we get preached and conditioned to wrap ourselves up. Right. What do you, what's one of the first things you ask somebody? What do you do? And we know that they mean work. What if you ask somebody who are you? Right.

They'd be like, I think that's a fantastic question. I would love to have that answered way more than what do you do?

I mean, what I'm, I'd be more interested in the answer to that question because honestly, like, there's a lot of people that have jobs that aren't particularly glamorous. They're not real glamorous, you know. And so if you said what do you do? And they go, this is gonna be really boring, I'm whatever, fill in the blank. Right? But that doesn't mean that they're not an interesting person because it's not who they are. And so dreams, I think are necessary. I think goals are necessary and I think you should have them. But you gotta watch out. You gotta keep those guardrails around that thing. Number one, they are not your identity, number one. And number two, you're not necessarily always the number one force in whether or not they get accomplished. Sometimes, sometimes things happen that aren't your fault. And you should allow that weight to come off of your shoulders. I mean, there are people right now that don't have a home, don't have a job, lost everything they had, they don't have any food because a tornado ripped through their, through their town and shredded their home and the place that they work and their cars and everything. And that wasn't their fault. So those two guardrails, I think should be in place. But in my opinion, I think goals and dreams are good and they should be had.

I would agree. I. I interviewed a guy a few weeks ago and he said something that really stuck with me. One of people he was working to is like working for, working with or telling that he was going to start this business. I was like, how are you going to be any good at that? He said, because my want to is enough. It sounds so simple, right? And I think you could just hear that and let it go past you in most cases. But it really hit me and I think that's what the dream thing is all about. Is your want to bad enough? What do you guys think? And here's a question, so I'm gonna put you on the spot now. This is gonna be. It ought to be interesting. First off, the question you asked the who are you? I kind of asked that question. And you guys may have noticed, I don't know. Have you ever heard me ask somebody or have I asked you directly? I think I have for sure. At least with John. What trips your trigger? Because I think people will tell a little bit more about what they're interested in than what they do. But this idea of your want to being enough, you put that thing together. Like when I kind of digested it afterwards, the want to, right? And then enough, it's not too much, it's not too little, it's just right. Little Goldilocks reference there. I thought that was pretty cool. That was actually really insightful for I. And I don't know if he intended it that way, but is that a good definition of achieving your dreams that you want, you got something out there and you want to. Is enough to do it?

I heard a guy, I heard a guy say once, said, my buddies, my buddy told me that I wanted. I want. He said, I want six. I want a six pack of abs. He said, no, you don't.

Your diet's going to change and your exercise.

If you wanted it, you'd have it.

You know, you figure out what it takes, you might be like maybe a four pack or how about just one single App. I'm good.

Do you realize how many six packs you're going to have to work out to get off?

Yeah.

Down to one six pack.

So that, that being said, that you.

Have.

Supersedes the distractions and obstacles to a certain degree can.

Right? Yeah. Like I'm. I afterwards I was thinking about that statement and I'm in the middle of this whole 75 hard thing. For those of you that have not heard about that, you can go listen to andy Frisella's episode 208, his podcast, and go learn all about it. But it's not a new thing. It's been out there for, you know, several years now, and I've always really kind of avoided it and not been about it. And I don't want to follow the crowd and all the other good stuff. And in all honesty, I knew I needed to do something. I got put on the spot with it on a podcast. So you guys can go watch that podcast if you want. With my physical therapist. And it was a whim to say yes, which I don't. I try not to make decisions like that. But once I decided to do it, my want to has been enough so far, 52 and a half days in, and my want to is enough. So I dug into that like, okay, why is my want to enough? Why wasn't it a week ago? Why is it like, I knew I needed to do it, but the want wasn't there. I didn't want it badly enough. And as I dug into it, there was a how I feel aspect of things to it. Just generally, physically, mentally, the whole bit. There was an achievement aspect which is part of my nature and who I am. I like competition, I like to. I like to do things like this. But really the want to for me, that made it enough was a combination of factors that all brought it to a head that I have a responsibility to be here as long as I can be here, because I got things to do. I have information and experience and hopefully a little bit of wisdom that I might be able to assist people with. I have a grandson that I want to have an impact on, be a part of his life. I had a grandfather that was very good that way. I would like to be the same. And so when you pile up all those little things on top of each other, it needed that one little thing, that one more thing that says, okay, now my want to is enough wasn't before, now it is. You guys ever go through anything like that? Like you knew you needed to do something, you just didn't do it. And then all of a sudden, you did.

Well, I just want to point out, I mean, we started this thing talking about failure. I've tried 75 hard. Now.

What is it? Three. No.

Twice. And not made it through. There's, you know, sickness and things that are. Whatever excuse you want to use. But if Jim experienced what I had experienced, he would still be going. He would still be going. Right. So I think that ultimately it comes down to. Right. Like, I. I don't. Can I say that I want to complete 75 harder now? No, because I would have done it right. I would have. I would have put. I would have done what I needed to do.

So I think I gotta throw in the other critical factors. I had a doctor's appointment, high blood pressure, all that. They were wanting to put me on medication and that kind of stuff. That was a. Another little, oh, dipping point. But was it enough yet? Yeah, I haven't really identified what the. What the one was, other than maybe it was just my physical therapist being on that podcast and challenging me, like, okay, big boy. Okay, now my 1, 2 is enough all of a sudden. If. If you're out there and you're listening to this and you don't feel like you're achieving your dream or getting to where you want to be, a couple of things. First off, you got to figure out who you are and dig into that. Get quiet, listen, and really dig into what is it that gives you joy when nothing else is going on. There's no financial reward. Nobody's going to feed your ego. Your pride's not going to be rewarded. You just like to do it, whatever that is. Then you got to figure out from there a bit of clarity on where you're headed. Like, with that knowledge. What can I accomplish with that? What can I do with that? I got interviewed today for a book. I guess I'm going to have a chapter in a book. And this was kind of along that vein. And I used the example of somebody that liked baking cookies. Like, if that's what they settled on, they like to bake cookies. Okay. Does that mean that you're gonna be a cookie baker? Or do you have a YouTube channel about baking cookies? Or is it the cookies? Or is it just baking and being creative and you want to bake a bunch of stuff? Or maybe you're gonna have an online store, or maybe you're going to have a silly YouTube channel about all your baking mistakes. There's a billion ways to take the thing that you're truly fulfilled by and Turn it into something that can financially fulfill you too, John. You had your hand up there for a second.

Oh, I too love baking cookies.

You like baking cookies? My best friend's mom likes baking cookies. She's the evil enemy right now. No cookies. Cookies for me. I'm 75 hard, so get clarity on who you are, what you're after, and if you want to's enough. I think the people that don't achieve their dreams, they haven't had the pile of what wants to have enough of it. Having a grandson wasn't quite enough yet. Disappoints me to say that, but it wasn't, or I would have done it the day he was born. What does that pile look like?

It's a, it's a heck of a journey to go down. I mean, sometimes you figure out that the juice isn't necessarily worth the squeeze. We deal with this in coaching. Like, hey, Mr. Salesperson, you want to make 250, 300 grand a year? Okay, here's the roadmap. And then they go, maybe 150 is fine.

That seems terrible, right?

And you know what? There's nothing wrong with that. Sometimes we don't know what we're asking for. I mean, sometimes we don't know. Somebody. I don't remember who I was talking to the other day, and we were talking about how, how difficult it is to, in a lot of cases, to make half a million dollars a year. That's. That's hard. That's really difficult. So people go, yeah, I want to make 500 grand a year. And you go, great, here's what you have to do to get there. And they go, hmm, maybe I don't want to do that. Right? I mean, I had this conversation not that long ago, somebody who said that they wanted to build a certain size company, this 15, 20 million dollar company, and they expect to have children in the next few years. And I said, well, do you want to see those children? Because building a $20 million company means you're not going to see those children very often. At least not for a lot, not for a while.

Going back to the regrets conversation, I did that with children and I missed out on a lot of things, sacrificed, sacrificed things that I don't know if having a company that size really made any difference. Yeah, we made great money, but I can't ever get that. I can always go make money.

And you don't, you don't hate yourself. And it's in your, your kids don't hate you. And, and it is what it is, right? But that. That concept where you look back and you go, you know, I kind of wished I maybe went to a few more Braden's Games, or I kind of wish that maybe I had spent a little more time with Annika when she was little, itty bitty. Or I kind of wish that I had done this thing with Heather or whatever it may be, you can look back and feel that, and that's okay. And it's okay to have that gravity, because you can communicate that to somebody else when somebody else has got a couple little ones and they have these giant, wild ambitions. There's nothing wrong with those giant and wild ambitions, but you need to realize there's a cost that's associated with pretty much everything. And so if you decide that you want to spend more time with your children, you probably never regret that. But it may come at a financial cost. Maybe your company doesn't get quite as big. Maybe you and the wife, maybe you don't make, you know, four or five million dollars a year. And so we're willing to spend that to spend the time with the kids, because it does work in reverse. We do want that thing. You may be sacrificing some time with your children, and so I'm not going to judge anybody, but I would say count that cost. When you sit down and you look at this thing and you go, what do I want and what's most important to me? And talk to people who walk that road, because it's a tough thing to say, but if you have somebody who spent a lot of time with their kids, can you find one who goes, you know, I kind of wished I hadn't.

Nope.

But how many people can you talk to where you go, who might say, I kind of wish I hadn't spent as much time at the office?

Yeah. So, like I said, I had regrets about that, but I also have some comfort in the fact that I went, you know what? This isn't important enough to sacrifice time with my kids. And I realized it early enough, thankfully. Man, a lot to unpack here. Great conversation, guys. We're into this quite. I think we are going to break it into two. Any. Any final statements, like, for the folks out there, if they're trying to achieve their dream, any advice you want to offer them?

The only thing I want to make sure that everybody listening knows is, you know, if you feel like, feel a pool, a pool that says, you know, I'm not. I'm not creating impact. I'm not living a dream. I'm not what Am I here for that? You're made on purpose, for a purpose. And just because you may not know what it is right now, it's okay. It's okay to not be okay, but it's not okay to stay there, right, Nathan? Not okay to stay that way. I loved what Nathan said earlier about, you know, what, what did it take for him to ultimately discover the roles that he, he's played, and it was him being intentional about growth, about putting himself there and the self awareness to understand what I'm learning and what I can stand to learn even more. So don't think, can't be scared to go grow. But also, but also understand that there could be a reason that you don't quite know what your, you know, what that purpose is or what that dream is yet to give yourself some grace. But yeah, yeah. But hey, for those of you out there that I think that know kind of have a really good sense of who you are, how can you make as much impact with the, you know, the people that are in your organization? I think you know, I think you know how, and I think it starts with who you are and what really, what really fulfills you. When you feel like you're doing something you were built to do, it usually involves helping other people and that's, that's why you feel so great. And I would challenge you to, to seek that and seek how you can implement it more and more and more into your daily life. That's all I got.

How about you?

I. I think I would, I would have to say, you know, to. You gotta, you gotta know yourself. I think a lot of people screw up Shakespeare's quote and they misuse it. Shakespeare said, be true unto thyself, right? But the second half of that quote is so that you can be true to others. So it is not, it is not a statement about being selfish and it's not a statement about doing what's good for you and being the best you and all you, you, you, you. The whole point of that statement was so that you can be true to others. Because if you're lying to yourself or you're trying to fool yourself, you're going to lie and fool others as well. And so don't, don't be afraid to do some of the hard work. And it's not always fun sometimes when you get in that quiet place like Reggie talks about as well on his podcast Living Exposed, if you don't listen to it. Shameless Plug for Reggie's podcast Live Living Exposed with Reggie Brock. Go listen to it, don't be afraid to be in a quiet place and just deal with what comes at you. Don't use your phone, the tv, video. Don't use stuff to try and silence it. Let it, let it come. That's that. That would be my thing. I would say just learn. Learn as much about who you are like John said, who you are and who you're made to be, and then start trying to chase it. And here's the thing, not one of us is a therapist, but if, if you're out there and you want to talk to somebody about this, feel free to hit us up. We're here for you. We'll have that conversation and we'll, we'll listen, we'll ask questions and, and we're here to help.

Yeah, none of us are therapists, none of us are trained. We're not here for that. But we, we can help people get some clarity. That's what we're good at. You use Shakespeare's quote, and I kind of have the flip side of that one. Christ was asked what the most important commandment was and he said to love God. And the second is like it to love your neighbor as yourself. And I think the key word in that sentence was as because I think we can kind of go both ways with that. We can be very much about loving ourselves. We can be very much about loving others. And I think most of us focus on the loving the others thing and set aside ourselves to do that. And you can't sacrifice one over the other. They need balance. As much as you're serving and helping others, you need to serve and help yourself. And that's where that growth, mental toughness, physical activity, strength, nutrition, all that other good stuff. If you don't take care of ourselves, we compromise our ability to take care of others. I want to extend Nathan's offer out there. If you're listening to this and you want to go through a dream coaching session with us, we'll do it for free. Didn't cost anything and no expectations. You don't want to work, that's fine. You don't have to work with us. We want to help you. So what we do here, because it's a hard and it's a challenging thing and sometimes you get there better by having somebody to bounce it off of, somebody challenge you, somebody to go question you. And that questioning and challenging brings clarity. So that's what we're here for. Thank you guys for hanging out on this two part episode of Contractor Radio. I made that decision at about Mark 1:15. That's why I love these conversations like this, though, because we kind of get to the point where it really starts to dig in. May not be the most interesting thing for everybody out there, I don't know. But I know it was valuable to me, and I want to thank the two of you for not. Not agreeing with me on everything. I like that. Like, it helps to clarify what we're after, to see people's perspective on things. So thanks. Appreciate it.

Thank you.

All right, guys, I'm gonna let you go and hang out for a couple minutes. I'll be right back with you. All right, everybody. That was contractor radio. I didn't exactly know where that was going to go for sure, and it did not go exactly where I was expecting. But I hope you enjoyed it. I hope it had an impact on you. I hope it caused you to pause for just a minute, take some time. And this has been the best exercise I have ever done in my life. So if that holds any weight with you, it is worth your effort to do. And I'm going to give one more shameless plug to Reggie Brock and Live Exposed. It was his suggestion to go be quiet for 15 minutes. First off, it's a long time to be quiet. In the first two or three minutes, you're going to be distracted with all the millions of thoughts going in your head. Let that pass and then start to listen. Just listen for a minute and ask yourself a few questions. Am I being all that I can be? Am I being who I am? Am I impacting others in the way I want to? Am I.