Nathan explores why relationships feel so hard to navigate. He argues we want to be known, distinguishes between shallow 30-minute connections and deeper multi-hour ones, and says knowing yourself helps you find the right people. Many of his biggest growth moments came through relationships.
Hey, everybody. Nathan here. Just coming to you to share a little bit more of kind of what's on my mind and what's on my heart and things I've been thinking about. So I decided to do a little walk with it. It's probably a little more my style than a full studio. So one of the things that I've been working through and thinking about a lot is the concept of relationship. Now, I know relationship is a very broad word. It has a big meaning. In other words, I'm in relationship with this path I'm walking on, and I'm in relationship to the nature around me. But what I mean is human relationships, as I started to think about it, they're probably. Our relationships are probably in the top three most complicated things that we deal with. Because relationships are complicated because people are. We change, we evolve, we grow, we change, we adjust. You know, things happen to us and they affect who we are, which has an impact on the relationships that we have with those around us. And so there were kind of a couple of areas that I really had been thinking about when it comes to this. One of those areas is that I think it's intrinsic to human beings that we all desire to know and be known by others. We desire to know and be known by others. Some of us are a little more closed off. Some of us wear our heart on our sleeve. But ultimately we do want to have connection. We're looking for a tribe, we're looking for friends, we're looking for a group, we're looking for belongings, longing and acceptance. And that happens through relationships. And so something to consider is that different relationships have different value levels. I heard this the other day and I thought it was kind of funny, the difference between 30 minute relationships and multiple hour relationships. I thought that was an interesting way of putting it. In other words, we have relationships that they're good for about 30 minutes, you know, and there's nothing wrong with that. In other words, once we get packed past the small talk and the chit chat and we're kind of through that, it's really nothing else to say. Or it just could be that that's as much of that person as you can stand, or as much of you as that person can stand. We all have many of those. I would assume those are a little bit easier. Everybody can be on their best behavior for 30 minutes. My question is, how are we doing with our multiple hour relationships? These are the kind of relationships where you can sit with somebody or do something with somebody for hours and you can share and there's value. And awkward silences aren't awkward. These are the kind of relationships where you don't have to hide, where you trust that person and they trust you, where you're not in competition, you're not trying to one up somebody, you're not trying to talk about how awesome you are, you're not going back and forth, tit for tat. These are true, powerful, valuable relationships that also tend to be a little few and far between as well. They're not quite as common as our 30 minute relationships. So how are we doing on those? Myself included? The other component that I thought of too was you're not meant for everybody and not everybody's meant for you. That goes for me too. I'm not everybody's cup of tea and nor is everybody my cup of tea. And so how do we figure out or come to an understanding of what kind of relationships should we be seeking? And so I think that requires some self reflection. In other words, what are your values? What's your value system? What do you find interesting? What are your hobbies? What are you all about? The more you know that about yourself, the more you will be able to understand why it is that you're attracted to certain people or why certain people are attracted to you. The this isn't always a great experiment or endeavor to discover that maybe I've been chasing the wrong things which has put me in relationships that aren't as good as the ones I could have. And so I wonder about how well we know ourselves so that we can actually seek out the right kind of relationship for ourselves and the ones in which we can engage with others. And if it doesn't click, it doesn't click. You've met those kinds of people, the ones where you have a couple conversations and you just know we're going to be friends forever. And then you have the conversations with people or you meet people and you know, probably not going to be that close and it's okay, so know yourself so that you can know others and be known by others without having to lie or hide or fake anything. The last component to this that I thought of is how much I thrive on and value relationships. I've been doing this for a long time without realizing that I had that much value placed on relationships. Turns out that when I take a little bit of an audit of my life, the number some of the greatest aha moments, the greatest levels of growth, the greatest experiences, the greatest advancements in my career, my personal life, my spiritual life, all had a relationship tied to them. And so if my past is any indicator of what I should be doing going forward, then if I want more aha moments, if I want to grow, if I want to get better, if I want to expand, I should probably focus on the relationships around me in order to do that. So I can tell you that that's been part of my journey and part of the journey I'm on right now. Some of you watching this have probably been reached out to me because I'm looking at the relationships I have, wanting to know how can I grow those relationships or make them better. And then there's relationships that I maybe don't have that I want to investigate and dig into a little bit and see what's there. And I might find something and I might not, but that's okay. So just as a little. A little aside, if this is something that you're going through or something that you're working on, I'd love to talk to you about it. If you want to talk about relationships, if you're interested in what kind of relationships would be good for you professionally, personally, I'd love to spend some time and. And maybe build a relationship with you. Not that I'm any kind of expert in this whatsoever, but I am going through it myself. And so if that's where you're sitting, reach out to me. And if you found this video ridiculous, then don't. So, anyway, that's kind of what I have for now. I hope that this was helpful to some, and I hope to hear from some of you. So have a great one. We'll see you soon.
