Are you feeling too old to be stylish? Nick Hems explains how to use accessories and pay attention

Welcome to this episode of the Silver Fox Entrepreneurs, and we're going to be asking the question, is it too late to be fashionable? I'm speaking with Nick Hemmes today, who is a consultant to men about the impact of what they wear making a difference to how they feel and also how they're seen by others. We're going to learn why women check out the heels of men's shoes, how some accessories can make you look more wealthy and successful, and also the impact of the clothes that you ask your staff to wear on their performance and how they treat your customers.

Welcome to the Silver Fox Entrepreneurs Podcast, the show for mature men with enterprise. Your host is Jim James, a maturepreneur himself, who's doing his best to introduce guests who will bring you useful information and the kind of inspiration that makes running your own business profitable and fun. We're building a community too, so do rate and share the show afterwards.

So this week on our Silver Fox Entrepreneurs Podcast, I've got the great pleasure of introducing Nick Hemmes. Nick has an amazing business where he's helping men in particular with their fashion sense. and how it can help them also with their self-confidence. So Nick, welcome to the Silver Fox Entrepreneurs Podcast.

Hi Jim, thank you very much for having me.

It's absolutely my pleasure. And you and I met last week or so when we did a film shoot with Nick and Will to create a video masterclass on styles for men in their later lives. So first of all, I've got to ask you, for men like me in their Is it too late to look stylish?

Never, ever too late. I think a lot of people, to try and kind of answer that, a lot of people confuse style and fashion together, and really the two aren't linked. And sometimes I call myself anti-fashion because I just think it's about men, no matter what their age, actually discovering what their own personal style is. And it's sometimes defined as a style personality. And that's why it's never too late to kind of find that out.

And how do you help people find out what their style personality is then, Nick?

It's reasonably simple. I mean, first of all, if I take on a client or start working with someone, I'll just ask them a series of questions about their personality, about their lifestyle, about their likes and dislikes. And from that, I can start gauging who they are, if they're introverted, if they're extroverted, the kind of clothes that they typically like, type of people they hang around with, the people that they're potentially involved with at work. And I can start to get an idea in my own head of really kind of who they are and what they're about.

And when you're doing that, what experience do you call on? Is this something that you've trained in or You were just a stylish, fashionable person in your own right?

I suppose I call on life experience and as well I have actually retrained as a stylist, so yes, I have a stylist qualification, but in the main I'd probably call on my career in commercial sales. I've been fortunate enough to be like successful in, in sales, but, um, in my time I've literally— I worked it out— sat in front of over 4,500 different businesses, um, and, and, and kind of decision makers from varying from, you know, large multinational companies, London, you know, agencies, to small one-man bands, you know. And what I've done in my time is I've done a lot of sales training, and a lot of sales training tends to focus on the sales process, how to close, how to open. But what it doesn't really focus on is your appearance and how you appear, and that first 7 seconds in front of someone, how to like create a perfect first impression. And that's what I've kind of really focused on in my time, is how to create That great opening first impression.

And how do you do that then? What would be some of the key elements that one would need to adopt into one's sort of sartorial sense?

I think you kind of need to be a chameleon at times. If it's in business, this is as an example, and you've got to be looking at where you're going, who you're going to be seeing, what kind of environment that's going to be in. Are you meeting in a coffee shop? Are you meeting in their own business? And you've And you dress accordingly to that, and that's where the kind of chameleon sense comes in. But you're also looking to be a chameleon, but to also kind of express your own type of personality a bit into that. So it's just kind of creating this image of yourself that you understand the other person wants to see, whilst being yourself and being warm and being open. And letting that person know that you want to be there and that you're interested in them.

So is that— that's a very hard challenge in a way, because you've got to be genuine in yourself, who you are, and at the same time, you're trying to create some empathy, mirroring with the people that you're meeting. What if you're in a room with lots of people? And often you go into a meeting and there's different levels of seniority, maybe different nationalities. How do you accomplish that?

I think then it really is about authenticity, um, and obviously you do your homework as to where you're going to go before, so you dress in the right way, you dress in the right style of clothing or level of clothing depending whether that's a, a, a full suit or smart casual, but then it really is about your authenticity because you can never be everything to everyone, so you've just got to try and say, right, okay, this is me— warm, friendly, open. Body language would then be more key.

And what about the cost then? Because in a way, you're almost implying that you need a different outfit for every occasion. For men like me that find shopping a little bit tedious, is it going to take me forever and cost me a lot of money?

It depends what way you want to look at it, but I think when you look at other areas in your life that you want to improve, you realize that it takes time and sometimes some kind of investment, not always financial, to put behind that. You know, you need to invest time and money into anything that you want to do to achieve more, and your appearance is exactly the same. And yes, a lot of men find it really, really tedious, and a lot of my I've recently done a survey, and we surveyed just over 200 guys and found out that just over 50% of them had little or no decision in the clothes that they tended to wear daily. So that means that it was their wife, girlfriend, or someone else that had the major role to play in, you know, what they wore. And I just think that I think that's quite poor.

That's amazing. And do you blame school uniforms? I mean, as a boy, you know, we had to wear the same thing through to sixth form, and then you got jeans and a shirt. Is it school uniforms and sort of first interview suit from Marks& Spencer's, and then that's it? What's to blame?

I think it's this kind of strange impression that some men have of masculinity, and that actually the clothes and the colour of the clothes that they wear, you know, it's not really their place to really care too much about that.

Oh.

You know, I'll go out and I'll buy a suit because I need a suit, or I'll buy certain clothes, or I'll let the wife take care of that, but they don't really put that much time into exactly what they're buying or exactly the impression that they're giving off from the clothes that they buy. So I think a lot of men just I've got too many other things to worry about for that to ever be a concern, or someone else will take that away from me and I don't ever have to think about it. So interesting.

Or they don't really understand the, the impact. And I suppose that's part of what your, what your work is about, is, uh, they can't really abdicate how they look, um, later on in life and in work, um, anymore, right? Because people increasingly are having to be seen as a brand in themselves, aren't they?

Absolutely.

How does that translate into, for example, when people have lost their job or they're starting a new company like a Silver Fox Entrepreneur? How do you help them to align how they feel and being authentic with their new business venture or the new persona there? How do you help them with that?

Again, I think it's just about matching, you know, what is it you're going to be doing? Um, how do you feel about yourself? How do you want to appear? And then—

Can you give us some practical— give us some practical examples? And obviously, if you're going to be a personal trainer, you probably don't wear a suit in the gym, maybe. Give us some practical examples.

Well, if you're kind of like offering a really defined stylistic business that there's a lot of attention to detail, then you want to pay a lot of attention to detail to your look, you know. So therefore it could be accessories, making sure when you go out everything's in the right place, if that makes sense.

Yeah.

And it's the smaller details that someone looks at you and goes, okay, this guy pays a lot of attention to the way he looks, the way he dresses, his appearance. Therefore, he's going to pay a lot of attention, or his products or service is going to pay a lot of attention to to me and what I want. And it's just kind of getting people to get that buy-in on that angle. And if you take the kind of PT, the personal trainer side of things, you know, it's like, okay, you might think, you might think just dressing in a vest and tracksuit bottoms is going to do the job. But are you taking care of your personal branding? You know, are you— the tracksuit that you've got on, is it clean? Is it fitted? Potentially, does it have your branding on it? Are you marketing yourselves effectively? Is everything clean and as it should be? And I think when you start to pay attention to that, people think that actually you really do pay attention to your business. You want to pay attention to me, and that's what I'm going to get from that.

Right. So how you treat yourself and how you look is going to be how you treat your business and your customers, right? So that's a really nice—

I believe that. I think if you take the example of a lot of women and what, you know, they go out on a date with a guy for the first time, you know, they're looking at how much attention does this guy pay to himself, you know, and that kind of gives them an idea of potentially how they're going to treat someone. You know, how do they treat— go on a date, how do you look after yourself and how do you treat other people around you? And that gives them an idea as to how you may well treat them.

And I think you said, yeah, and I think you said something when we were talking before about shoes. Just, just tell us about, about women's, women's opinion when they see a man's shoes.

Okay, I'm strange, so I ask— I've asked throughout the years a lot of women's opinions on men's shoes and how that has created an impression in their minds as to what that man's like. So A lot of women will always look at a man's shoes when they meet them for the first time, if they go out on a date with them. And I've had it many a time where a woman said, I'll actually pay attention to the back of a man's shoe and how worn their sole is. So it goes that far. And that actually really surprised me the first time, but then I've heard it multiple times since then.

Because it does mean that he's also got bad manners, because if he's walking in front of the woman, He's not letting ladies go first, is he? So he's also got 2 strikes against him, clearly, probably getting on the bus or in the car.

I think now some women will want to walk behind and check out what's going on behind and around themselves, you know.

There's a new level of stress. We have to check out the front and our rear from top to bottom, right?

Yeah, that's what it's about. It's about details, isn't it? It is about details. And if you truly care about the way that you appear and want to appear in front of someone, then that is something you look at. You know, you may well— a lot of people don't, but it's like polishing your shoes in the morning, you know, like that.

Yeah.

Everyone used to do that. It used to be a thing, you know.

Yeah, yeah.

But now you look at the state of some people's shoes, and I really think that does have impression on the way that they kind of maybe treat other things.

I think, um, yeah, I polished my daughter's shoes the other day and they're like, Dad, they're so shiny! I'm the only girl with shiny shoes at school. And I'm thinking, when we were kids, you, you had to stand in line every morning and have your shoes inspected. Uh, and, uh, so there was a lot of discipline in those days around that. And now we've talked a bit about the time, but what about the amount of money. I mean, most people can't afford multiple suits, multiple shoes. Any advice in terms of how to look good and accessible to different situations without buying new outfits all the time?

I think this is quite a nice question really, because it also leans on sustainability, which is a bit of a buzzword. Well, it's a massive buzzword at the moment. And I think there's a couple of ways of looking at it. You know, I tend to buy what I would call investment pieces. So I might not shop very often, but when I do, I buy an investment piece. So that's a— it's a really kind of good item of clothing that I know will last me a long period of time, but is also versatile. So it means I can wear it maybe smart, smart casual, and lots of different occasions. But I know if I look after it, that item of clothing will look after me.

Yep.

And on the flip side of it is, um, there's less stigma attached to buying from secondhand shops these days. And you can pick up some really, really good bargains from secondhand shops, really great brands depending on where you're going, if you know where to shop, um, that have not been used at all or hardly ever used. Um, plus there are— there are so— sales are on pretty much All time of year, and you've got sales and you've got other other places where big brands will go to get rid like factory outlet sales and stuff like that. And big big brands labels have these, you know. And yeah, you know, it helps if maybe you could talk to an expert or so-called expert like myself that kind of knows where this stuff happens and goes on. Yeah, but. Really and truly, if you want to look good, it doesn't have to cost a lot of money.

Well, it seems that that's right. It's more about decisions and consciously taking interest rather than just spending a lot of money. What about hats? I'm a big fan of hats, watches. In Asia, where I was, people looked at the watch, and if it was an expensive watch, they assumed that you were successful. What about accessories like hats, scarves, cufflinks?

I love accessories. I think it makes all the difference, and I think that's where a lot of men go wrong because they just wear the basics, everyday stuff that, you know, you have to kind of keep warm or look respectable, you know. And I think accessories allows men in particular, because women have got this on pat, but allows men in particular to express themselves, to express a bit of personality, to add a bit of color to their wardrobe. So pocket squares, hats, ties— when you wear a tie, that's a really basic accessory because if you're wearing a suit, you almost have to wear a tie.

Yeah.

But all these kind of small little pieces, you know, watches, cufflinks, bracelets, chains— there are so many accessories you can put with clothing, even down to having a different color of shoelace, you know, they all show a little bit of personality, a little bit of character, and it may say a little bit about the person that's actually wearing it.

And in terms of shoelaces matching and so on, what about color? I mean, I have to confess, I have red shoelaces in my blue shoes today. I don't know whether you can see them, but you'd have to—

I can't see, yeah.

A TV journalist in China actually commented on my shoes and the shoelaces in the studio once in front of the camera. A little bit embarrassing. But what about color? I mean, how does one choose what's the right color or the wrong color? Is it for the season that you need to change colors, or is it for the skin type, or as we get older, do we change?

Skin type, essentially. Right, getting down to it, there are— for colors, it's all defined on your skin tone. So as a male or female, you can either be spring, summer, autumn, or winter, and that's color type. But it's not so complex that you have to understand these because most people kind of morph into understanding what kind of colors suit them as they go through life. And people— you're wearing something and someone goes, oh, you look really good in that. So I tend to buy more of that color. And a lot of men tend to stick to, you know, safe colors like navy blue, which can be worn by anyone.

Navy, yeah.

Reasonably good, yeah. Black, gray, you know, you can't go too wrong with those colors. But when you actually start putting, you know, cobalt blue or red or yellow into it, different shades of these colors, of all colors, will tend to suit other people, some people better than others, and it's to do with, you know, do you have redness in your face, or different color will bring out your complexion in the best light essentially.

And what about then if you've got your color down for the clothes, what about things like glasses? It's an accessory but it's also functional, so I wear some all the time, most people, a lot of people do, Do you recommend that people wear just black, normal square glasses, or is there a strategy behind the opticals as well?

I think if you're going to have one pair of glasses only, then I think you go for— you kind of go into it and find the shape that's really going to best suit your face, and you go for a color that will go with all clothing, like a typical kind of black or silver or maybe chrome, depending on what kind of glasses you're getting. But you just go for something that's really, really generic but suits the shape of your face. But then once you start going beyond that, you know, getting a red frame or a yellow frame or something different, you know, you can start to play around a bit, have a bit of fun and match it to maybe other stuff that you're wearing, like you would with a pocket square or something like that, or a watch strap.

Now, you've mentioned there the idea of having a bit of fun. What impact do you think clothes have on people's emotions? That's an interesting area.

Massive, absolutely massive. So we go back to color for this. Sometimes I really love yellow, and yellow is a color that is proven to actually It's an optimistic colour. It's the most optimistic colour.

Are you saying this because I'm wearing a yellow sweater today? I got red shoelaces.

I didn't even notice that. It looks cream from what I can see. But yeah, it's a really optimistic colour. So obviously it's the colour of the sun, sunshine. It reminds us of warmth and the summer here in the UK. So yeah, sometimes I just find myself putting on my yellow socks if I can't find anything else yellow to wear, 'cause it just kind of cheers me up. And it does have a massive impact. I mean, you can go into real detail and say, if you're going into a meeting and you want to build trust, then blue is a great color. It's a great generic color that people feel very, very comfortable with you, and it actually helps to build trust.

Okay.

Red's the color of passion, you know, you go out on a first date and you wear a lot of red, that kind of red goes back to the blood and goes back to the heart. And red therefore is a passionate color of love, you know. And it is proven it can set the heart, say, racing and beating at a faster beat.

Yeah, absolutely.

So color has a massive impact on emotion. If you want to create some kind of emotion or, or kind of even in yourself or someone else, then absolutely clothing color is key in that.

You mentioned, um, there about someone else. Um, do you ever get involved in trying to help someone sort of do their own clothing and brand, but also like their company or their team? Because uniforms in restaurants or in delivery services also makes a difference. So do you have any sort of views on colors and style sense for the corporate world?

I have many views. I have many views on lots of things. I'm shocked at how many— how I see some really big companies get it wrong. But like, if you take, for example, something that anyone can think of, airlines, you know, they all tend to have uniforms, quite striking uniforms. If you think back to Virgin Airways and their kind of ladies' uniform was a really bright, expressive red, and people tend to remember that.

Yeah.

And then you then take it back to EasyJet with their kind of orange and grey and they're a budget airway, but their uniforms look pretty budget as well. In my opinion, shall we say. And sometimes, you know, that can have a real impact, you know, like wearing a uniform and the uniforms that you get your staff to wear has an impact in what people feel about the company. So going into a supermarket, again, it's a really good example, as they use that kind of grey and green. You know, that impacts on how people feel about where they're shopping.

Yeah, so there's a whole morale issue, isn't there, around clothing, both the colors, but also presumably the quality of the fabric?

Yeah, you imagine it's not just me, for example, walking into a supermarket or a shop and seeing someone— it's how that person feels when they're wearing it. So if it's a really poor quality because they've got to mass-produce it, Then in the morning, how do you think that person feels when they're putting on that uniform onto their skin and they're wearing it all day? And, you know, they're then— because they have to create a first impression in front of customers, and they're going to be very conscious about what they're wearing. So are they putting their staff in the right, in the best possible frame of mind to be dealing with their customers, you know? So it goes a lot further.

Wow, and that's amazing. And where do you Where do you go to find kind of information, Nick, uh, Hems? Where do you find your, your, your thoughts and your inspiration from on this whole topic?

Um, I guess I'm just, uh, I guess it's just my passion. So I just do a lot of reading, a lot of research. A lot of shopping. Find out, you know, we were talking about brands a little while ago. I find out what, strangely, you know, what are they trying to achieve? You know, why do they have a red uniform or a green uniform? You know, and also, when I talk to my clients, I tend to very quickly find out a lot about their lives and where they're going. And, you know, if they're employing me, why are they employing me? What is it they want to achieve? Um, and when you go shopping, you tend to just pick up things very, very organically. Um, and as it's my job, you know, I, I kind of live it and breathe it because I guess you say if you find the job that you love, you don't feel like you're working again. And this is certainly for me, I feel like this is my calling, so I'm just looking at stuff all the time.

Yeah, no, that's, that's wonderful. And tell me, does your wife like to go shopping with you? Because my wife hates to go shopping with me. My younger daughter and I sit in the coffee shop while the older daughter and the mother go shopping. Is your wife excited to go shopping with you, or does she stay in the coffee shop?

She probably thinks I'm a bit of a nightmare, to be fair. In fact, I know she thinks I'm a nightmare because not only am I extremely particular about, if I'm shopping for myself, what I want, I'm also extremely particular about customer service, so I'm probably the world's worst person if I'm shopping for myself too, because I expect to walk into a shop and to be really welcomed, and I want to find what I want to find. So yeah, I imagine that I'm probably, um, quite a nightmare. But yeah, I actually don't mind going into women's shops, and I like having an opinion as well. She'll ask me for my opinion, what she thinks, what I think about her clothes, and I, I give it. You know, um, Nick, and that's—

and Nick, if people want to find you, I mean, you've got the perfect name, Nick Hemms, for someone interested in clothing. How can people take you shopping or have you help them with their shopping? Where can they find out about you?

Um, yeah, so my website is nickhemmstyle.co.uk, um, and right across social media, um, my handle is @iamnickhemms, so you'd probably find me easiest on Instagram.

Nick, thank you so much for sharing, and I shall go back and look at my own wardrobe with it with a new eye. Thanks again for your passion and for sharing so much insight today.

Oh no, it's been an absolute pleasure. Thank you very much, Jim.

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