Mastering the Art of Networking: Expert Strategies for Post-Pandemic Success

Now networking is not working for many people. It doesn't mean that you're trying to be unsuccessful. It may mean that you, like me and like so many of us, have suffered the collective amnesia that COVID gave us because many of us forgot how to do one-to-one meetings. And some generations, some of the younger ones, actually kind of skipped out on a whole genre and hold time when they could have learned those skills. But luckily, my guest today has written a book about networking and how you can do it successfully. He's also going to tell us one of the things that you need to think about to make sure that after the networking that you've got someone to know, like, and trust you. We're joined by Michael Foreman today, who is the author of a new book called Networking Unleashed. Michael, welcome to the show.

Thank you very much for having me. I'm glad to be here.

We're glad to go all the way to Cumming, Georgia. That's where you are, and I'm over here in Wiltshire in the UK. So quite a long way away, but the whole point about networking is, of course, that we feel very close together. So what has gone wrong with networking, Michael, and how are you helping to fix it?

Well, it gone wrong I wouldn't say things went wrong, but ever since the pandemic, they, you know, people lost themselves. They forgot how to talk with one another, how to communicate, that one-to-one, that human feeling, that touch is gone and forgotten. And it's so important when it comes to networking. And it goes a long way once you've done networking properly and then you'll see what you've done properly. There's a huge difference.

You talk about properly and not properly, Michael. Let's start off first of all, shall we, by looking at some of the not properly. Let's talk about 2 or 3 things that in your experience people just get wrong? They just turn up and make a complete, as we would say, pig's ear of it.

Okay. Well, listen, the first is very obvious, okay? Because when you walk up to somebody, when you're introducing yourself or being introduced, look at the person in the eyes. Look at the person in the eyes and shake their hand firmly, not like a dead fish. Shake their hand Look them in the eye and be present.

Okay?

That means that you take this cell phone and you put— turn it off, put it away, do what you have to do. You are there to listen to the other person. Okay? So I just told you all the wrong things and I told you all the correct things at the same time.

Okay.

So it's very simple.

Well, it's simple, but if it was that simple, you wouldn't need to write a whole book on it. So there's plainly more, more subtlety to it than that. Why don't you take us through the sequence, Michael, of, of working a room, if you like? You go to a conference or a trade show, we call it working the room.

Correct.

Why don't we frame it from, you know, you go to the reception and you Pick up your business card and you're about to go into the, into the conference. Talk us through what would be a professional's approach to networking for that conference.

Okay, well, first things first, remember your business cards. Okay, so many people forget their business cards. Now, treat your business cards like they're money. Okay, don't just hand them out. So when you're walking up to a table, Let's say if you walked into the conference and you saw a table with 4 people, you're going to walk up. Okay? Now, you don't walk up, immediately start talking. That— then you lost. Okay? You're going to walk up to the table, hear the conversation, listen to the conversation. Don't just hear what they're saying. Listen to what they're saying. If the conversation is something that you can put forth a— put your foot forth and add something worthy of adding, then do it. If it's not, if it's not the right conversation, then very politely bow out and move on. Now, I say it with the business cards are important, but I was at a networking event and I was at a table with 4 or 5 people and we were having a good talk. And a guy walked up with his business cards in hand, handed out his business cards to everybody and say, look, I'm Joe Schmo. I really want to meet every single one of you. Let me have all of your business cards and I'll contact you afterwards and we'll do lunch. And walked away. And we all looked at the, what, what, what, what, what, what, you know, and we all did at almost the same time, took his card and threw it away. Okay. So you never want to do that. So let's say you walk up to the table and it is a conversation that you can feel that you can participate in. So you're going to wait for the opportune time. Put in your five cents because you are the expert in your field. Okay, you go in as the expert. So the trick is that you want to say something. This is like your thirty-second elevator speech. You say something so that they somebody responds to you. Well, what about that? How is that? What is that? You know, and then you begin. So when you when you see that there's one or two people that are very interested in what you are saying, then you automatically turn around and say, "Oh, what do you do?" Well, I do this or this or this. Well, really, tell me a little bit more about. So they're talking. You're building that rapport, and you're keeping in the back of your mind a word. Form, F-O-R-M, because that is the basis of you building up the rapport. It's family, occupation, recreation, and message that you're trying to find a link of anything you can to go onto the same level as him or her. And you let them talk. The more they talk, the more their barriers are coming down. Okay, so remember, they have to know you, like you, and trust you. Then they will do business with you. And without the first three, the fourth isn't going to come around. So let's say that you made this great connection, all right? And you're trying to. And listen, I was a Little League coach for sixteen years. I was an umpire. I really got basketball, football. I coached it all. And I try to bring them out onto that level. So let's say I brought it in. The person has a son that plays soccer and they hurt their ankle. Okay. And you're building up, say, look, you know, it's great. We're going to get together and whatever. You take his business card and on the back of his business card, you write down the date. The name of the function and what you spoke about. Okay. If you spoke about soccer and his son Johnny and how he hurt his ankle, and you do that now, you probably will collect about 15 cards throughout the evening. So what are you going to do? That's where you begin the follow-up and so on from there.

Now, Michael, let's just back up just a little bit, um, because you've got a big room and not much time. What's your guidance in terms of making sure that you sit next to or at the table with the people that you want to be seen at? You know, when I used to go to trade shows, I used to get a floor plan and look at the size of the booth. And if the booth was too big, they couldn't afford an independent agency. If it's too small, they couldn't afford an agency at all. So I used to go for the midsize trade show booths, for example, right? Can you give us some guidance on kind of narrowing down the options, really, when you get into that space?

Well, you pretty much hit the nail right on the head. Okay, before you walk in, they always have a map of the floor and where everything is located and everything. And you do that. Now, if I'm in mortgages, let's say, because I was in mortgages for 10 or 12 years, and you go around and you say, okay, I know this company, this company, this company, this is a little company, this one is really big, so I'll hit them a little bit later. But those mid-sized companies, those companies where you feel you're going to gain some knowledge or connections, remember, you're not going to build clients. You're going there to build relationships because a client is somebody who you're going to sell something to and forget about. If you build a relationship, well, then you're going to have that relationship with them for years to come. So you have to go around and you have to do a little homework. Listen, if networking was easy, everybody would be doing it properly and I wouldn't have to do this.

Well, I guess you'd be unemployed, wouldn't you, Michael?

I'd be unemployed.

What about sort of looking at what people wear and how they carry themselves, haircuts and so on? Because, for example, I lived in Asia for 25 years and men's jewelry of choice was the watch. And you could kind of tell someone's pay grade by whether they had a Rolex or an Omega or an Audemars Piguet. What guidance do you give, Michael, there? Because again, not everyone's turning up dressed in the same way. Can you give some guidance there about a little bit of detective work?

Well, if it's semi-formal, not semi-formal, if it's business casual, Okay, that's the way that most of the networking events go. So everybody can be clean and— now I learned this in the military. So what do you look at? Look at their shoes. Look at their shoes and see whether polished or scuffed. If they're scuffed, that means that he didn't take the time to look at his shoes and dress well. Okay, so listen, I could be 100% wrong. I could— I can discount somebody with scuffed shoes and they don't appear that well, and he can be the biggest champion of all. But I'm not going to take that chance. So I'll move on. I will address the person. I will see how they're dressed, male or female. Okay, if a female is showing too much and that That's how she obviously gets business. Okay, so I'm gonna look for that conservative dressed male-female type person, and I'll go from there.

Good. I think that's really important to give people the clues, isn't it, of what kind of person you're going to be dealing with by also what they wear and maybe the accessories they've got, like which phone and which phone model they've got. If you're looking for somebody who's very techy and they've got an old Android, it may not be good if you're selling high-tech equipment, for example. So I think that's another aspect that I was always thinking about as well. Michael, you talk about writing things on business cards, and I don't mean to sound challenging here, but in this day and age where people are using, for example, WhatsApp, or in China everyone's sharing WeChat cards, what's your guidance in terms of going digital? Should people scan one another, or is it important to have a physical card?

I have one of those cards that you scan, okay? But when I go to a show, I bring business cards. Because if you take the time to scan, you may talk to them as you're doing it, but you're missing out on 3 or 4 people, okay? So you're taking just a little bit too much time. And look, if it's one person, you don't feel like it's that much time. But do that 15 times, it's taking up a little bit too much time. So like when I give a speech, a talk, a breakout session, a workshop, I have that on my phone and we'll touch phones. And I have enough time because I want to talk to those people. And I can do that when I am touching their phone. And I'll say, look, just hit the contact and I'm there.

Right.

But I still say that the physical card is still very, very important.

And I guess also in the old days, we used to use the business card for a lot of corporate branding. You could have a message on the back, for example, the quality of the paper that you gave out. If you had an oversized card or a nicely embossed, could say a lot about who you were. And we've lost that with the digital cards as well, haven't we really?

We really have. But, you know, I owned a graphic design and marketing company. And one thing I made sure of is that the business card is not a billboard. Okay? The quality of the paper, the embossing, just a little bit, have it fine, but you don't want to put everything you do on it.

Right.

You know, if you're a printer and you want to put everything you do on it, that's one thing. But if you're in corporate and you just want to have that touch, then that's all you really have to do.

Michael, let's move on both sort of in the conversation, but also from a situational perspective. The event has happened. I've given my cards out. I've received Picked up, scooped up, even stolen some cards off someone's table. And I've got— I've sort of copied some cards. What's the follow-up? Because this is something I'm always amazed at how few people do with their podcast hosts, for example.

Tell us about the follow-up. Yep. This is the number one thing that everybody messes up with. Okay. They feel if they get back and they're going to send them a quick email and they're going to wait, they're going to wait for them. And remember what I said. 8 times. It's gonna take 8 touches before that person responds. So I like to do something to kind of force their hands. Now, let's say the event is over and I go back home, I go back to the office, whatever. I'm gonna immediately write an email that night. I'm not gonna wait 2 and 3 days. That night. Hey Joe, um, it was great talking to you. I saw you on such and such date at this event. We talked about your son John in soccer. I hope his ankle feels better. I'll talk with you soon, Michael. Now, I didn't say anything about business. I didn't give a date and I didn't give a time. Okay, I sent that off. At the very— as soon as I finish sending off my emails, I start on my handwritten thank you notes. I send a handwritten thank you note with almost the same thing that I just wrote in an email. And accepting that, I put, oh, you know what? I hope you're free for coffee sometime because I'd love to have a cup of coffee with you. And I'll send that out. Now, usually, That will get you about 60% of a response within the 3 days. And that's a huge number.

Okay.

But let's say that you didn't get the response. You're going to wait about 3 days because that's about how long it is before they get the mailing, the thank you note. And you send them a quick email, say, hey, How are you? This is Michael. I met you on such and such date, such a time. I asked you about your son, John. You know, I'm hoping that you'll have time for a cup of coffee. I'm free next Tuesday or Wednesday. Is Tuesday better? And I'd say about another 20, 25% of the people will answer that. Positive or negative? Doesn't make a difference. Okay. So now let's say that they responded and you follow up that way. But if they didn't respond, if you wait another 3 days-ish or so and send them another email, say, hey, look, you know, I don't mean to take up your time. I don't want to bother you and I'll stop contacting you. I just hoped that we would get together for that cup of coffee. And is Tuesday or Wednesday better? Okay, so this is about a week and a half after the event. Now, about 90% of the people will email you back, positive or negative, yes or no, whatever. Still have that 10% that blew you off. Okay, so let's say you're part of the 10%. You just take their information. And you put it into your newsletter email list or something, and you do that drip campaign so you're always in contact with that person. Now, I can go on and on about that email campaign because the newsletter, let's say there are 6 boxes, 2 of them should be what you talk about, 4 of them, no. Aunt Annie's recipe for bread, you know, different things, favorite car of the month, you have the joke of the month, you know, things like that. So 2 of the 6 are business, other 4 are not, and just keep them on a campaign.

So really there's that follow-through, and I like your idea of giving people some definition of do you do it Monday or Tuesday, which one's better for you. That does work towards trying to close people as well, doesn't it?

Yes.

I did ask you at the beginning what other sort of big mistakes people make. Do you see any difference between cultures as well, Michael? Because, you know, many people are working not just in their local town. In fact, most people are working internationally, I think, these days, or certainly even across states or, you know, across parts of the country. Any guidance there on the differences that you've noticed between different parts? Even like Georgia must have kind of maybe some common elements to it.

Well, you have to know, you have to know your audience and you have to see where you are and you have to do that little bit of investigation of where you are. Now, I'm originally from New York. And I came down to Georgia about 6 years ago. And one thing that people had to do, they told me, slow down. Because I'm used to, okay, I was in mortgages up in New York. And I'm like, okay, this is the information. This is it. This is, you know, okay, boom. Let's want to do business?

No.

Okay, I'm moving on. Okay, it's boom, boom, boom. Let's go. Down to Georgia, first thing people said was slow down, slow what you're saying down, give some time. When I used to give a half hour for a meeting, I give an hour and a half in Georgia. Okay, it's very different. But when, listen, I do, I'm about to do a workshop in Ohio about this very same thing. And I had to look at them and it's rural Ohio. So I had to figure out exactly who it is that I'm talking to. When I did a breakout session in Texas, same thing, but it had to be handled a little differently. When I did the breakout session in New York, I knew I had to step up my game because they expected a little bit more. So it all depends on, on where.

Really interesting, the differences even just within a country. Well, the size of America, of course, is large. In the UK, we do have differences as well between people in the north and the south and the— and down where I am in the west. Very interesting, Michael Foreman. We've got onto the stage where I'd love to know your sort of sense of what is your number one tip. I know that you've mentioned quite a few aspects there. If you've got a person and they just say, you know, Michael, you're the guru, what's the one thing I really should get right when it comes to networking? What would that be?

First of all, practice, practice, practice. Just like anything else, you're not going to be sensational that first networking event. But if you have to remember one thing, handwritten thank you notes. Your follow-up. Your follow-up is so key to making the connection and building, because you can put all this work into it. If you don't follow up properly, why bother going in the first place? So that's one thing.

And I love that you think it should be handwritten. And therefore, do you think people should get sort of printed stationery then and go old school?

I know, you know what?

So Michael's just reaching across for those people that are listening and not watching. Michael's lifting up a very nice—

I gave, I spoke about handwritten thank you notes on a podcast last week. And this week he sent me a thank you note. Can't not, it's just a printed thank you. That's it. And he wrote something very nice inside. It's a handwritten thank you note. It doesn't have to cost you a bundle. This is not something that is going to make or break you. But in my briefcase, I keep 50 unused thank you notes at all times because I don't know when I'll be handing it out.

Michael, that is great, great advice. And speaking of handing out, one last piece of advice. Michael A. Foreman, incoming, George. What about a podcast or a book that has inspired you, or even one that you might have written yourself that will inspire the rest of us?

Well, listen, I hope to begin being a podcast host in a month or two. Okay. But if you— there's my book. My book is Networking Unleashed: Mastering the Art of Networking. And in there is from soup to nuts, Okay. It's, it tells you exactly what I was talking about when you're first introduced to building the rapport, the following up, and then some. So it's all very concise. It's not a very thick book. Um, and you can get it by going to michaelaforman.com. On there, you'll see everything that I've done, podcasts that I've been on, and, um, it's a contact form. So there's a contact form that you put your information in and I will contact you within 24 hours. And right down there on the bottom, whoop, there it is. Let's contact. It's very simple. I give the keynote, the breakout sessions, the workshops, one-on-one coaching, but I also offer virtual workshops. So it's all very, you know, it's all right there.

Michael A. Foreman. And not to be confused, because I actually originally thought that the person coming onto the mic didn't look like a Michaela, because Michael's actually got the domain Michael A. Foreman. And because I'm European, I actually thought I was expecting to see Michaela Foreman, which would have been quite an interesting An interesting moment, but he said Michael A. Foreman.

I won't even go there.

No, no, I think we don't want to go down that. That's a different podcast altogether. And I'm sure not one that you're going to be doing either, Michael. But for anyone that's interested, it's michaelaforeman.com. And you can see at the bottom there, there are the contact details. Michael Foreman, it sounds like you're going to be joining me on this side of the mic very soon as a host. I'm sure you'd be brilliant. Thank you so much for joining me on my show, The Unnoticed Entrepreneur, today.

You're most welcome. I was glad to be here and glad to spread the word about networking.

Well, and now we know that networking is about not just working before, during, but it's also about working after the event. And that's really a key takeaway and one that, as Michael's explained, not that expensive to do. Just buy some cards or get some printed out from your local Vistaprint or any one of these large number of Instaprint shops that will make you some with your own logo and brand on it as well. I'm gonna do Unnoticed Entrepreneur cards as well. I think that's watching Michael and getting inspiration. If you've had inspiration from this show, then do please leave a review. It all helps. And do share the show with a fellow unnoticed entrepreneur because we don't want to leave anyone unnoticed. And until we meet again on the mic, I just encourage you to keep on communicating.