Is being a parent worth it? Jim Penman answers

The message I give is that, is that children are fun. They're really joyful. They're one of the most meaningful, joy giving experiences you will ever have in life. It's a sense of purpose in what you do with yourself. I think one problem is people have the wrong idea of what being a parent is about. They think to be a parent you've got to actually spend all your time and money and effort and costing them and fearing them to place after place and watching them, they're helicopter pairing. There's a lot of studies now that suggest that's actually very bad parenting. That one of the best things you can do for your kids is to let them go out and play with each other in groups. They actually learn more than they do from endless classes. In other words, children need some care and discipline from you, but they don't need you to be there every second of their lives. They're actually better off if you can just back off. Let children, let children play. There's wonderful books like the Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt, which has just come out, which talks about the problems with modern parenting. Parents are trying so hard to do so much that they're making their children weak. At the same time, they're putting a huge burden. They're taking the joy out of being a parent. There's a wonderful book called Selfish Reasons to have More Kids Too, which I really enjoy. And the thing about it too is that children need space, they need time, they need to be able to play freely, but they also need limits from parents. And if we act in a way that children are basically, you know, they more or less do what they're told and you have certain firm limits, it's a lot more enjoyable than if you live your life as a slave to these spoiled brats, which, which is what people are reading these days. So it's good to have children, but bring them up in the right way. Best for them, best for you.