[Bonus Episode] Rituals For Peace & Purpose with Danette May

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Learn more@mcafee.com Online Protection let's look at overall well being. What does that mean to you? And what are, what's the key to having this well being?

Yeah, you know, I, I have to say this has evolved for me because there was a period in my life where I thought food was that well being and moving your body was the well being. And I started to realize there were some people that ate really crappy and hardly worked out but had this amazing mindset. They were just never stressed and they were healthier than the ones that worked out and ate well. So.

And we're stressed about eating well and exercising because you see them, they're like so tightly controlled. You're like, yeah, yeah, foreign. Hey, it's JJ and welcome to Ask the Health Expert. But this isn't just any old Ask the Health Expert session. This is your bonus session. Yes, it's the weekend and because it's the weekend, we are gonna take some time with an amazing expert. So be on the lookout for these.

Saturday Ask the Health Expert bonus sessions.

Where we're going to go deep into an amazing subject with an incredible expert to give you actionable items that you can put into your life. Hey, it's jj and on today's episode we are going to be talking about mindset and rituals and what it really means to be healthy and to have great well being. And I've got the perfect person. She's coming back for round two. We loved her so much the first time. It's time. Danette May, America's leading healthy lifestyle expert. She's the number one best selling author of the Rise and soon to come out is Embrace Abundance and she is also the creator of seven health and fitness books and programs and the co founder and CCO of Mindful Health which was number 48 on the inc 5000 plus. She is a motivational speaker, wife and mother and has a very harmonious life as you'll learn in this interview. Also, one quick thing, she gave us a cool gift to give you and you can get that@jjvirgin.com Danette you'll be able to get that gift. And that's Danette spelled D, A, N, E, T, T, E. You'll get a one day detox. You'll learn more about it in the interview. So stay with.

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So, Danette, it is so awesome to have you on the show and you've been on the show before. And what's interesting is I don't know your origin story. Like, I have no idea how you got into doing what you're doing. And Navalie have become like the queen of mindset. So, like, can we just dial it back a little bit and start there at the beginning? Not the total beginning. Like we can.

When I was born.

I'm just kidding. Yeah, let's start then.

Yeah.

No.

You know, I always say that every human is going to have an opportunity for refiners fire or multiple refiners fire where you really get to get shifted and shafted into the true character of who you really are. And my refiners fire happened when I was actually a trainer. I was a trainer who was preaching about wheat thins, maybe soy milk.

Oh, boy. I know all that stuff we thought was healthy.

Way back when, and forgive.

Us all, we did not know what we did not know.

Yeah, exactly. And I was hit with my refiners fire, and I was pregnant with my second child, and. And I knew he was going to be a little boy. But here, the Danette at that time in her life was really living into the mold of what everybody wanted for her. She was, you know, practicing certain belief systems based off what she was raised to believe, even though deep down she was questioning a lot of it. She just wanted to stay in the middle path of, you know, making sure everybody was happy. She'd gotten herself into this relationship that she even felt wasn't even possibly right. Her soul was telling her all these different things, but here she is. She's going to have this second child. She's having a little boy. She's so excited and really good at turning off her intuition and sitting there in the rocking chair, having a rare moment of not being busy. And I wanted to feel him kick. So I was, like, wrestling my belly, and I didn't have any movement, and I thought, oh, he must be asleep. So I was wrestling a little bit more, didn't feel him, and literally felt the intuition, go to the hospital now something's wrong. But when you're really good at turning off your intuition because it doesn't. It doesn't fit in the status quo of all the other decisions you were making.

And plus, you were so busy, right?

Yeah. And, you know, I just was good at that. So I got up and did the dishes, and, long story short, found myself at the hospital having my son, but went home without my son. And this led me down a deep spiral of deep depression. I was in unknown territory of who am I? My relationship started to unravel. I started finding truths out in my relationship. Because the beautiful thing about rock bottom is that you have nowhere to go but face it all, because you really don't even care at that point. And so I started seeing the truth in my relationship. The truth of the stories I was telling myself, the lies I'd been telling myself. I started waking up to the truth, and it was painful. And this is really where I found that I needed to do something, because at this time, I had an older daughter, she's younger. I was telling her to go outside because she wanted to go outside, but I was too depressed to go outside. So I tried to describe what a curb was so that she wouldn't go past the curb on the street. And I knew I was in desperation land. So the only thing I knew was about a little bit of my teaching, which was around movement being healing and helping with depression. Certain foods to help with depression and brain fog and motivation. And so I started going on a search for these foods and. And really finding out, like, what superfoods really would help wake me up and help me get out. I didn't even think about going on antidepressants. I grew up in that type of culture where you just didn't do that. You didn't tell anyone you were suffering. You didn't outwardly be open about it. So I turned to what I felt I needed to turn to, which was research. And that's really what got me into understanding and feeling on a deep cellular level. The power of certain foods, the power of positivity. I was listening to certain things. So I started rewiring my, you know, my zip code and my mental zip code.

What were some of the. Like, what were some of the. You know, because you now teach so much on mindset, but. But who were some of your teachers back then? Who were you listening to?

Oh, yeah. So I only had my phone, right. And I had no money to rub together, so I wasn't, like, buying coaching. So I literally would go to YouTube and write an insp. Or motivation, and I would lay in the tub and pretend they were talking to me. But some of those people, which is funny because, you know, now you've met her, because at a fest. But Lisa Nichols popped up.

She's one of my best friends at this point.

Yeah, Tony Robbins, you know, Jack Canfield, you know, they popped up. And the truth was. And then they. They referred to people that they learned from. I was hungry because I was grabbing their books of what from those teachers that had passed on. And there was a huge common denominator between all of them. And I implemented it all. And I literally changed my life. Like, 360 degrees. No one knew who I was. I was literally sleeping on the floor at the time because I went through this horrible divorce. I was just in this research hungry mode. I was alone. My family thought I was crazy because I was leaving the religion. I was just alone. And that was a true gift because I was alone with these mentors that they didn't even know they were my mentors. And I was doing the implementations of what they were Saying and was literally redesigning my life to be in the truest expression of who I am, actually. And so that's really where it all began.

Wow, Way to make lemonade. So you go through all of this and I'll share a little story that's so crazy to that. So I had a very similar thing when I was 30. I had a mentor who basically I thought she was going to teach me how to be successful in business. And 6 months of mindset training. And literally I was listening. You don't know what this is, but they used to have these tapes you'd put into a thing called a Sony Walkman. And so I was listening to Nightingale, Conan, you know, Les Brown and Wayne Dyer, I mean, like everybody. And listening to her every single day. And when my son got hit and nearly died, my whole response was completely to only see the possibility. Right. And so I think people don't realize that when you go through these things, you do completely rewire. It's like you rewire your brain. You train your brain to think so differently that when you first started telling a story, you were talking in third person before you stepped into who you are now, because that person's so foreign to you, which is so awesome. So now, you know, fast forward to when we're recording still in the pandemic, which I think is always going to be here, but that's my own take on this thing. But things have changed. And this last year, had you not had these tools in place, could have been pretty negative. You looked at like people's responses to this and they were all over the map, I think a lot based on mindset. So what are you doing on a daily basis to not fallen back into the trap of that?

Yeah, I take these things very seriously. I call them my non negotiables. And I've identified three that are my non negotiable. And one of them is nature time. So I do not go a day, rain, shine, wind, whatever, to. I just always say bundle up, you know, because I live.

I live in Florida.

Yeah. And I truly step out in nature every day and connect with that source because that source tells you and reminds you of abundance always. And so that's one thing that I do. The other thing is I have what I call this, like soul writing practice in the mornings. And I do this. I do this on vacation. I do this when I'm traveling to speak somewhere or whatnot. And that is I get up before anyone else needs to talk to me. And ideally, like right before the sun's about to rise. And I kind of set up my scene. I have some warm lemon water, I light a candle. I get the intention set that I'm going to converse with my higher self. So. And I open up my journal and I write what would you have me know? And I literally write whatever is going to wants to come out. And I know a lot of people get hung up on that, but it, it was surprising. Just some of it felt rambly, some felt really interesting what was coming out. But I'm telling you, this soul writing completely took our business and 10x it because ideas that I was able to go to the team and be like, this is what came out, let's try it. Things like that, things within my personal relationship with my daughters. I'd go to them and say, hey, this came up. Is this going on? They'd be like, how did you know? This is something that I hold near and dear to my heart and do. And sometimes it's just gratitude. Sometimes there's not some big hit of information. But it's, it's that practice and that intention setting that's really key.

I love that so much. I want to talk about well being, but we're going to take a quick break, so stay with us. We'll be right back.

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Okay, so let's talk well being because you know, you've got this background in health and wellness and you like me, were doing like scary things like Wheat Thins and soy milk telling everyone it was healthy. We didn't know back then there was so much misinformation. Now that you've gone through this, like, let's look at overall well being. What does that mean to you and what's the key to having this well being?

Yeah, you know, I, I have to say this has evolved for me because there was a period in my life where I thought food was that well being and moving your body was the well being. And I started to realize there were some people that really crappy and hardly worked out but had this amazing mindset. They were just never stressed and they were healthier than the Ones that worked out and ate well. So.

And we're stressed about eating well and exercising because you see them, they're like so tightly controlled.

You're like, yeah, yeah, no. So I realized that this whole food and movement thing, yeah, it's a piece to the puzzle. But this mindset piece is, I actually think one of the most biggest keys can you, can you get into that calm is your state and fight or flight all the time. Where can you shift that belief system so you have purpose and hope? And I'm noticing and through the programs I've done because I always throw a mind component now because I don't think it's complete wellness if you don't that this has been the key for my evolution for the people that have done my programs and really has locked in this wellness piece. So to me that's what wellness is.

I so agree with you. You know, it's, it was funny when I wrote Miracle Mindset they're like, but you're not a mindset writer. I go read every book like I, I. You're so spot on. Like you cannot be physically healthy if you're not, you know, mentally well if your mindset's not there. Besides the fact that's going to really determine if you're successful or not and you can be fit, fit and look healthy and hate yourself and how's that work? Right, right. So, so you, you mentioned a little bit because you started to talk about stressors a little bit in there and managing that. So and again kind of brings up this last year but shoot, you like you run a business, you're a mom and we've got all the stressors that have happened with the pandemic and supply chains and you know, fear and all of that. What do you do and what do you teach to be able to manage this kind of stress?

Yeah, I get asked this one a lot because I am managing a lot. There's not just one business, there's a couple businesses. I know you actually get it and you're trying to be a good mom and be a good wife and a good friend and also have your self care practice.

Shoot, the self care alone is like.

You know, if I'm going to be really real and I don't want to get too like out there for people. What has helped me truly the most is because I am human and I'm a driver. That's just my nature and I can get so caught up in the spiral of why wasn't this done yesterday? This person's not moving Fast enough. I'm not moving like, da, da, da, da, da, right? I can get down that. That lane really quick when I stop and pause in particular on my time out in nature and just recognize I am not of here. Like, I am connected to it all. And I am connected to every element that I see that looks amazingly abundant and has its perfect pace of growth and evolution. When I do that, and I try to do this every single day, it's like literally being conscious of it every day. It literally brings this whole nervous system down because I'm remembered that I'm connected. And I think it's the biggest thing is remembering that you are a part of it all, you are connected to it all. It's not that JJ has this or someone else that you admire has this or this. You are connected to it all. And if you can remember it, you will actually step into it easier than if you're trying to break down the wall for it.

So good. And it brings me over to, you know, just that. That idea of like, I always love that. Like, how do you balance it all? I go, balance. Mary Morrissey said, you know, it's all about harmony. And I went, that is a much better word because balance is like a fleeting moment, right? You think of that. What is that? Seesaw. And it's like, you know, what's that second there that you've got? Balance. But what are like, like, yeah, is it even a second? I don't even think it's a second. So. So with all of those things, what would be interesting to look at is, you know, typical day or typical week, like, what. How do you go through your life to really honor yourself and. And self care because, you know, here you are running a health and mindset business. So if that's on the is right, you know, it would be kind of weird if you didn't do that. But honoring all of that, finding time for your. Making sure that you've got your businesses where you want them to be. Like, what. How do you. How do you navigate that? Let's look at like a day in the life.

Yeah, I definitely have tactical stuff. So it's not just remembering, but it's actually implementing as well. And I really look at. And the big love of mine is really indigenous way of living and seeing how I can take some of these deep wisdoms that have been forgotten and incorporated into my modern world. So for me, like, I actually look at my life not on a day level. I know some people are like, this is your morning and evening routine. I Already said one thing that I do in the morning was just soul writing. The rest is, you know, and gratitude and the rest is just. It flows how it is. But I look at my, I look at the month and I look at the week. So for me, it starts first with my month and I look at my cycle and this is why I do this, because I was noticing not I never had like bad menstrual cramps, but I noticed I was freak, like so much anxiety. And I started pinpointing that anxiety was happening because I was driving too hard right close to my menstrual cycle. And as soon as I stopped driving between those first three, I'm now doing around four days right before my menstrual cycle. I am so much more productive. I am less stressed. I'm not bringing my. I'm not spiking everything. So I look at, I really revolve everything around my cycle. And so that week of menstruating, I don't take on any meetings. I do not go out and visit with girlfriends. I try not to travel. Like, I really like, try to honor this and like the team. I've even sat the team down and been like, I am not filming this week. I am not getting on major meetings this week. And then that three day right before is honestly, like, I write down creative time, like going inward time. And I'm telling you this cycle and then I plan my meetings that second week after the cycle. And I feel like I'm just expanding and going and flowing really quick on.

How did this get forgotten? Like, you look at, you look at, you said you loved indigenous cultures. And you look back at those indigenous cultures and what they would do during this time and like, it would never be go, nope, go out in fields right now and work your butt off. Like, it was like other women taking care of you, you going in a lodge, you know, it's like, man, that is super smart. I've never, I've heard people doing workouts or food based on period cycling, but I've never heard anyone like, modifying their actual activities, which is so super smart.

Yeah, it's been huge for me because I can plan those times when I need to be on around those times when my body's already naturally on and I feel like it's changed everything. And then the other thing that I do is I have one soul day a week now. I have kids at home. So my soul day is not on a Saturday or a Sunday. Granted, we do some Sunday family things and we low key it on Sunday but that's not a true soul day for me. So for me, on a soul day, it's. It's truly like, I do whatever my soul asks. A lot of times it's writing. A lot of times it's product creation. Because I want to do it, I get to do it. Not because I have to, I'll reach out to people. But that has catapulted the business as well, as well as my wellbeing. Because it's. It's funny how more expansive you feel when you're like, I get to do whatever I want this day. All of a sudden, the creativity flows.

And so creativity doesn't happen sitting at your desk.

With the time ever, it's like, oh, you're having a soul day. I'll drop in. Right. Then, like, the creative just flows in. It's beautiful. So I do that usually on Thursdays.

Nice. Let's. No interview with you would be complete if we didn't talk a little bit about superfoods. I feel like we just gotta. We gotta, like, wrap a bow on this at the end with some superfood talk. Because you're deep into this. Let's talk your favorite superfoods, how you incorporate them into your life.

Yeah, I'm a big lover of superfoods. I'm a big lover of elixirs because I think it's supercharging your health. So, anyway, some of my favorites, as it's not any secret to hear this from me for anyone who's following me. But it's raw cacao in particular. Raw ceremonial grade cacao. There is a difference.

Yeah, I'd love to know what the difference is. It's funny, I was just doing something where I need to get a coffee, and they're like, get on there. Get on some. Some ceremonial cacao. I'm like, I know where I can get that.

Yeah. No, it's different because. So raw cacao, just for those who are like, what the heck? Like, you go to the store and you can get cocoa powder. Right. And most chocolate bars are cocoa based, which means that it's been stripped of over 300 phytonutrients. There's really no huge health benefit to cocoa. Right.

It's like the white. The white flower of cocoa.

Sounds like, there you go. Exactly. So raw cacao is great. And that's one element. So what happens is they take it into a manufacturing plant, they heat it up very, very low temperatures, just so they're not stripping all the phytonutrients. That's One level. And that's awesome.

Great.

Whatever. Raw cacao is great. The next tier of evolution is raw ceremonial grade cacao. And this is where they actually do not take it in a manufacturing plant. They lay it out in the center sun and let the sun heat it up naturally and then they ground it up into the flower base. This, I'm telling you, takes the nutrient level a lot higher. As we all know, everything thrives through sun, even humans. Sun is everything. So when we, we let the sun do the heating up, it's like kissing it right. And then ground it up. It's just, it's harvesting more of the elements of the natural element inside of it. Plus I believe it's infusing with other elements that we don't even know scientifically yet that the sun provides. But the taste tastes better too.

I think it's kind of sad how far away we've gotten from the sun and the sphere of the sun. So you've got a one day detox you're going to be giving. Everybody who's listening, super excited about this. Tell us a little bit about it and what they're going to experience.

Yeah, I just want people to have a taste of hope. I think sometimes we get so overwhelmed and daunted with thinking that I have to do this and this and I have to do right at it and it feels so overwhelming. And what about my Cheetos and what about my things? What I really want is for people to just have one day of like feeling what one day can actually do. And you would be surprised. One day bloat can go down tremendously. Brain clarity can be had. You can feel better in your system. You can have a better night's sleep. So the one day was just first people to go, okay, I can do one day. And that gives you a little taste. So hopefully you're like, ah, I want to add a little bit more of that later on in my life. Or maybe I can add another day or another. You know what I mean? So just giving you an idea of what one day can feel like.

I love it. That's so awesome. You can grab that@jjvirgin.com Danette so jjvirgin.com Danette I'm sure you've got info in there too on your ceremonial cacao too. Yes.

Yeah, absolutely.

I hope so because that's a great addition. Especially if you are looking to, to take a little coffee break too. That's a great one. Or nice little yummy. So awesome. Thank you so much. It's been amazing as always having you, having you here with us and hopefully I'll get to see you in Florida soon.

Thank you so much hon.

There was your deep dive bonus episode of Ask the Health Expert. We will be dropping these bonus episodes as amazing experts and incredible titles come to us. You don't want to miss out on this, do ya? Stay in the know. Be the first to know. Go to subscribetoj.com and I'll hook you up.

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