Discover What You’re Really Hungry For

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Hey, it's JJ Virgin. And welcome to the JJ Virgin Lifestyle show where I talk nutrition, exercise, mindset and lifestyle with some of the coolest people in the world and give you tips that you can put into fast action to up level your health so you can go out there and live that big life you're meant to live. Now today's show is all about what you're really hungry for and a big idea on how to make a massive shift so that you'll never have to be on a diet again. Sound good? Well, I have brought in celebrity nutritionist and literally one of my super best friends, Cynthia Pascuala. And she's a best selling author, media personality and educational leader. She's known as the most sought after transformational nutritionist in the health community and she is famous for inspiring millions of women to discover what they're really hungry for so they can finally make peace with food and themselves. She's a clinical nutritionist, spiritual leader, media personality and best selling author and the founder and director of the Institute of Transformational Nutrition which is the only nutrition certification program for student Receive an in depth understanding of holistic health through science, psychology and spirituality to help people create permanent change in their health and lives. She's also the best selling author of the Hungry Hottie Cookbook and the Pink Method. She's a nutrition expert for the Doctors, the Dr. Phil show and the Today show and has been featured in popular media outlets such as Access Hollywood, E. News Live, Harper's Bazaar, Fitness Magazine, Shape Magazine and Marie Claire. You can find out more about Cynthia and grab her free ebook 5 Toxic Emotions the that Lead to Poor food choices@www.cynthiapascua.com. so let's do it. Cynthia Pascuala. Did I do that right?

You did it right.

Welcome to the show.

You know, it's so funny.

We know each other 10 years.

Yeah, we've known each other 10 years and just before we were getting ready to do this interview, Cynthia's like, you know, you might just want to be able to say my name right.

Just one day.

Just one day. It's just, you know, I call you the Princess, so I don't see why I really have to get the last name right. You're. You're Princess Cynthia. So there. So see. See what you walked into? Anyway, I am so glad you're here with me today, and I'm sure you're thrilled.

Stop it.

So let's. Let's dive in, because what you're doing is so super cool. And, I mean, no one is talking about this stuff with my audience, so I'm really excited to bring you in. And it's. You know, we've talked about this. Like, you know, we get so bogged down in what to eat, but we need to kind of take a step back and a broad view of, like, what are you really hungry for? And what's going on emotionally. So that's where we're going today, isn't it?

It is where we're going. And, you know, it's not that we don't need to know, like, the right things to eat, because we do. Right. It's just the bigger question of why do we know what to do and still won't do it?

So let's go there. I mean, if losing weight and getting healthy, I mean, it is about the food, but it's. Then again, really not about the food. So what is it about?

Yeah, it's a great question. And for everyone, it's a little bit different, obviously, because we're all different human beings. But essentially, it really is about discovering what you're really hungry for. And what I mean by that is, oftentimes we have these desires, we have these needs, and we can talk about where I feel like those come from. But what we do is we spend pretty much our entire lives, if we don't catch it in time, trying to fill a void that can never be filled with food ever. You know, people talk about emotional eating, and we get upset or we get nervous or we're scared or we're lonely, and we eat right, and that's emotional eating. And we think, oh, we need a cure for emotional eating. But it's really not just about emotional eating and putting a band aid on it, which is what we've done up until this point. It's about going deeper, like, getting to. To that root cause of why you, again, know what to do and still won't do it. Like, why are you choosing donuts? Like, what do you really want at your core? Yes. You could just throw it off on emotional Eating. But when you really dive in and dig deeper and get some answers, that's where the permanent change really starts to happen. And that's where the focus on food really starts to go away. And then the weight loss and the health, all of those things are almost a side effect of answering that bigger question, what are you really hungry for?

All right, so then how do you discover what you're really hungry for?

How do we know? I think it's a great question. I think most of us do know, and I think we don't want to know. It's almost easier to say, oh, I don't know, but I think we do. You know, I think the thing is, we all grow up. And I'll use women as an example. Men have their challenges, too, but I'm a woman, and so I know that best. So, you know, we're born jj and we're. We're like these perfect little human beings. We're these pretty little girls, and they put dresses on us, and if we want something, we just cry, and people give it to us, and that seems to work out okay. But then we start getting older, and we start hearing things like, oh, you're being to this. You're being too that. You're being too loud. You know, you're acting too crazy. Look at little Debbie over there. Little Debbie's not doing that. Like, she's being a good girl. So you think, oh, okay, there's something wrong with me. See, children have a need to believe their parents. They believe everything their parents say, or any adult figure for that matter. And the reason is they need to feel safe. So they need to feel like, well, the adults know what's happening. They know the truth. Because if they don't, then, whoa, this is a really scary place. So they'll believe what the adults say, right? They need to. They need to feel secure. They need to feel protected and, again, safe. So they start to think, wow, I'm flawed. I am inherently flawed. There is something wrong with me. I need to change and be different so that people like me, right? And we spend our whole lives doing this. I mean, we try to get into, you know, a good college. We've got to go through school and get good grades. And then, you know, you meet Mr. Right, and you have the perfect wedding, and you have the 2.5 kids and the amazing career, and you're expected to be this rock star in the boardroom and a porn star in the bedroom and look like a Barbie doll, all while doing it right. And that's not Even the crazy part. Like, the crazy part is we've bought into that.

Yeah.

And then we try to become this idea. Idea of perfection. Like, what is that which doesn't exist.

It doesn't exist. I always love Cindy Crawford's comment of, I don't wake up looking like Cindy Crawford.

Exactly. Right. No, it's so true. But because we spend, like, our whole lives trying to be someone else, we lose track of who we are, and that creates this hunger inside of us. Hunger for adventure, for connection, for that return to who we are authentically at our core. I mean, if most of us ask ourselves the question, you know, who am I? Most of us don't know. Right. I was working with this client One time, JJ. She was in her early 50s, great coaching session. And we were working on looking at what she was really hungry for. And at one point, I said, well, look, what if you could do anything you wanted today? What if money weren't an option? Whatever it is that makes you happy, that lights you up, what would that be? And so she thought about it for a minute, and then she just started sobbing. And she looked up at me with these tears in her eyes, and she said, I have no idea. Because she'd been so busy being the wife and the mother and, you know, the PTA president, all of these things that she had no idea. She was too busy trying to be who everyone else said she should be, that she had lost track of who she was. So the first step in discovering what you're really hungry for is to reconnect who you are authentically at your core. And that's not always. And it is a process. So, you know, you start thinking, well, gosh, when I was a kid, what did I like to do? What were my dreams when I was little, when I believed anything was possible? When people said, what do you want to be when you grow up? How did you respond? Right? You start to reconnect and rediscover your truth. And that's how you start discovering that hunger.

And, you know, I think about that because this has been happening to me over the last year, as, you know, all of a sudden, I went, gosh, I don't even know what makes me happy anymore. Like, you know, you get so defined by your achievements. You forget about who you. What that means. And, you know, a lot of it is being able to put yourself into a community around people who can support that, too. Because most people will never stop, take a break and think about it. Right. They won't go there.

Yes, exactly.

Or they'll just go, you know what? This is what you've got. Be happy with what you've got. This is where you're at. You know, we go through life like developing all this scarcity around us, which just is so sad.

Well, yeah, but I mean, you know, it's not even about, like not being grateful for what you have or, you know, who you are in this world. It's not even about that. It's just about tuning in to something bigger, you know, I mean, it's not. You're not happy with what you have because you're unhappy with who you are. Right? So as long as you're unhappy with who you are, the things and the stuff, and it doesn't work.

Yeah.

It'll be empty at your core, Right. Those things were meant to make the person that you're pretending to be happy. Does that make sense?

Completely.

Because we pretend to be who we think people want us to be so that they like us. Right. I mean, think about this. This is a big conversation and it's not always easy to sort of sit down and have. But you know, think about if your friends and your loved ones really knew who you were at your core, would they still like you? That's a scary thing. I've had wives say to me, my husband would divorce me. My husband, you know, just, he couldn't do this. He doesn't know like these things about me. And if he did, he wouldn't. Wouldn't like them. Right? So if that's who you are and you're pretending to be someone else so that they like you, then first of all, you're living a lie, right? And that's not fair to you. But second of all, these people are in love with someone they're in love with. Yes, right, exactly. So are you going to keep playing this, this game, you know, this like.

You'Ve just trapped yourself?

Exactly, Exactly. Exactly. So it's not an easy. This is not like the feel good conversation, you know, of these things, but.

Without it, you're not only, you know, you've trapped yourself. You can never experience this. You will always be trapped in this. I call it the food prison, you know, because you're never good enough, all of those things. And it all comes down to feeling worthy. And it all comes down to wanting to be loved. I mean, that's the end of it. We just went through and did a big survey of our list and that's what came out was, you know, people just want to be loved and they want to feel worthy and they want to feel good about themselves.

Yeah, right. You know, it's so funny that you say that, because about a year ago, I did the same thing. I got to the point where I was like, I don't really want to talk about food anymore. I just love food, and it's great. And we need people to talk about food. It's very important. But I just got to the point where I was like, there's just something bigger, right? And so I did the same thing. I reached out to my audience. We have hundreds of thousands of people on our list. And I said, like, what do you want to hear about? What do you want me to talk about? I'm here to serve you. And the answers that we got back, there were three big things that came back. And I was shocked. Jj, I didn't expect any of this. The three things were people wanted to be heard, they wanted to be seen, and they wanted to feel like they matter. Like, that's what it's about. You know, you want to be heard, seen, and matter. You just want people to see you, the real you. Like, that's what we're hungry for. But we don't connect with that. We don't tap in. We don't sit down and get quiet and do the work. We don't go through, you know, the self discovery process that you've so beautifully gone through over the last year. And it's been just so much fun.

Still going, still going through. And, you know, I think that brings up a really important question, is when you're looking at, you know, making a transformation, what are the key components? How do you do this? Because it seems so. I remember going a year ago going, wow, like, I've done all this stuff and nothing's making me happy. And I'm like, and now what do you do? More of the same. No, you know, but there's not really. It wasn't like a path. I had to just start digging in, searching. So what, what do you have for a path? What are the components that you recommend for creating a transformation?

Yeah. So first of all, I think we need to just stop at the word transformation and take a look at that for a second. Because I feel like the way it's defined today, like on TV and magazines, it tends to be seen as you becoming something else, as you becoming something different, a better version of you. Right. And I don't believe that's what transformation is about. Krishnamurti had a great quote. He said, when you begin to discover what you are without trying to change it Then what you are undergoes a transformation, you see? So it's not about, like, trying to.

Yeah, you need to say that again. Say that again.

Sure.

So big.

Yeah, it's a good one. When you begin to understand what you are without trying to change it, then what you are undergoes a transformation.

Boom, boom.

Drop the mic.

Our work is done.

Right? Yeah. And I believe what he's saying there is. You know, you don't have to go outside of yourself. You don't have to change who you are. You just have to understand who you are. You have to understand and know, like, remember, if you will, who you are and where you came from. So when you can do that, to me, that's transformation, and it's not transforming into someone else or a better version. It's transforming into who you were meant to be anyway. Right?

Yes.

And so that's the first place that we start and really start getting in tune with these things. You mentioned.

Worth.

One of the first things that I do with clients and now our coaches at the Institute of Transformational Nutrition, we teach them how to do this with people. And one of the first things that we do, there's a whole method, and we don't have time to go into all of it now, but one of the first things we do is what you said, jj. We get people to discover their worth because none of us really feel worthy. Right. It's why we don't take such good care of ourselves.

Like, if you do not feel worthy, then you won't do any of this because you'll feel guilty doing it. Like, who am I? Right. And women really are the ones that I think suffer with this one the most. Right? Yeah. It just makes so much sense. And I look at your. So the Institute of Transformational Nutrition. What's super cool, cool about this is that it's science, psychology, and spirituality. And I want to jump on the spirituality place because you don't hear about that in weight loss and getting healthy. Like, no one says, okay, now let's take the spiritual path to weight loss. You know, So how does this fit in?

Yeah, Yeah. I mean, and, you know, I've coached thousands and thousands of women, and not one time has any of those women ever walked in and sat down and say, you know, and to say, like, what I need is a spiritual transformation, and then I'll lose the weight. No one does that because we don't know. Like, we don't know that we need that. No one walks in and says, so I had these issues from when I was 5 years old with my mother, and this whole thing happened. If you could help me get through that, then my food issues will go away. Like, nobody knows that because we don't have that insight. Right? So what I found, and this was through my own transformation and also through working with just thousands and thousands of clients. You know, when I went to school and, you know, was learning about science and nutrition and health, I only learned about the food. And my background is in clinical nutrition. So it's very clinical, right? Like proteins and macronutrients and micronutrients and all of these things. So that's all I knew. And I just thought, well, you just eat the right foods and you just get healthy, and that's it. Yay. But then I started working with clients, and I would tell them, you know, what to do, but they would come back, and they just wouldn't do it. So I thought, okay, well, there's something going on psychologically here. Why are we so opposed to change? What is that? That is rooted so deep in our core? So I started looking at the psychology of how we think and how we make decisions and we think change is so bad. And I started learning about neurological pathways and helping clients with that. And their results got better. They were more compliant. More of them did what I told them to do or ask of them to do. But there was still something missing, jj, There was a bigger piece. And I thought, gosh, why does it have to be this difficult? Why, if we have all the information and all the tools, are we still overweight, sick, and unhappy? Why is that? I remember one time I had this woman who. She was probably about 100 pounds overweight, and we had just kept trying all these different things. The one thing I have to give this woman is that she was honest, like, to a fault. She was honest. So every week, we would make out her meal plan. She would take it back with her, and the next week she would come back. And she had never followed it, but she was honest about it. And she would write down she had a thing for Snickers bars. And so she would write down, breakfast, two Snickers snack after work, two Snickers, whatever. Right? But again, she was honest. So I knew this about her. And so I was so frustrated. And she caught me just on the right day, in just the right mood. And I said, look. And was I this point? You're wasting my time and your money. You know, I've. I've done everything I know to help you. We've been through all this coaching. I tell you exactly every week what to do, and you won't do it. I don't like what is going on. I remember this woman got so mad at me. She was livid, jj. And she was. She. She. She stood up in her chair, which is. Was in front of this couch that we were sitting on, and she looked me dead in the eye, and she said to me, you're asking me to give up the only friends I have, and I won't do it. Not for you, not for anyone. And I was like, whoa. But I got it, jj. I got it. And I was like, oh, there's something bigger here. She had no meaning. She didn't have this purpose. She wasn't passionate about anything. She wasn't connected to the bigger part of the universe, to this bigger understanding that we're all a part of this bigger knowing. She had. She had disconnected from that completely. And then we started going back in her story, because I ended up working with her for, like, two more years after we got so angry with each other. But what we discovered was that when she was a little girl, her mother was a single mother, and she started dating this guy, and the guy didn't like children. So when the guy would come over, her mom would. Would buy her all these Snickers bars. Right.

And candy.

Yeah. And so she would put her in her room and have her watch tv, so she didn't bother the man that her mother was dating. And so that's how she got. Got her worth. Right. And we connected through that to that, through spirituality, like, really digging deeper, reconnecting her to this bigger part of all of us. Right. Like, we're all connected. We're all one. I believe that. And so that's where the spirituality factor coming in came in. It's like really getting that extra piece of, you know, that. That what is important. I am worthy. I do belong. I do matter. I'm here for a reason. Because when you have. Have that, everything else shifts, and that's the missing piece. And that's why at the Institute of Transformational Nutrition, we teach not just the science and not just the psychology, but the bigger picture of spirituality and reconnection.

Well, that is huge.

That's where you see the.

Well, she never would have. Like, she never would have changed otherwise. So it's the key element, and that's why I love what you're doing, and it overlays everything else that we all do. So it's just fantastic. Ms. Cynthia. So there are so many more things we could talk about. Obviously, you're coming back and we hang out all the time too, so there's that. But I want to thank you for joining me today and I also want to let everybody know that they can get more from you. And this is really where you're digging deep now. And it's again, I love what you're doing. So go to www.what you're really hungry for. What you're really hungry for. And by the way, that's Y O U R e your and we'll have that in the show notes as well. And that's where you can go what's there, Ms. Cynthia that they can go dig in and grab.

There's so many things that are there. So we have launched our TV show called what you're really hungry for where we brought together some of the top experts in the field of health, nutrition, transformation, life and productivity and performance. Like the one and only JJ Virgin, for example, was a guest on the.

Show and it was so fun. And you dig into deeper topics. Like I get to talk about stuff I never get to talk about, which is awesome. And you are talking about the things that people aren't talking about. And again, for so many people. And this was so clear when I did went out and asked, my list was it goes beyond diet. And if you are feeling like right now you're frustrated, I want you to make sure that you learn more. Go dig into Cynthia's work because it is, it's epic. It's life changing. And for so many of us, again, if you do not have that peace where you feel worthy, if you're using food as love, you will never be able to break out of that prison. So I want to thank you again. And after the break, I'm going to be answering a listener's questions. So stay with me.

Your fat is not your fault. If you're eating all the right things but still can't seem to lose the weight, JJ's Virgin Diet online program is for you. JJ shows you everything you need to know step by step to stop bloating, breakouts, headaches, achy joints and stubborn weight gain so you can finally have the body you want and deserve. Visit www.thevirgindiet.com to get started. Now if you want to drop 7 pounds in just 7 days, lose belly, bloat, gain energy, clear up inflammation and look and feel younger. Visit www.welcome back.

Now this is the time I love. It's where I answer a listener's question. And today's question comes from Melody and well, I'll just let you Listen to Melody Ask it herself. Here we go.

Hi, my name is Melody. I just started reading your Sugar Impact book. Finally got around to it and I'm wondering if there's any modifications you have to take into account when you're praying. I currently am almost to the end of my first trimester. Definitely eat too much sugar and want to get started with that. But make sure I'm doing everything safely and appropriately. Thanks.

So first off, Melody, I could not be more excited that you have chosen to do the Sugar Impact diet while you're pregnant because you want to help your children, your babies, your kids never become sugar addicts and exposure equals preference in the first place. They're going to start getting exposed is in the womb. So it is so critical for you to keep healthy blood sugar balance during pregnancy and keep the fructose down. So this is a perfect thing for you to be doing. And of course no artificial sweeteners. So as far as doing this while you're pregnant, honestly, I would love to see this as just the diet that people took a hold of while they were pregnant. The deal is you want to make sure that you're getting enough calories, of course. But you know, I must say that I think there's a lot more emphasis placed on calories during pregnancy. And honestly, you're not eating for two, you're eating for one in a pea pod. Let's, let's face it. So I think sometimes we tend to get over go a little overboard there. Basically you'll probably need to lift your calories up anywhere from 10 to 30%. And that's just working with your OB and making sure that you're gaining weight appropriately the whole way through and letting appetite be your guide. But eating a protein optimal, higher fat, full of fiber diet is going to help keep you regular when you're pregnant, which is a huge thing having had two kids myself, because you don't want to be straining hemorrhoids are one of the things that can happen when you're pregnant. Good healthy fats are critical here, of course, and of course optimal protein. And the biggest thing of all is keeping that blood sugar balance. So the answer to the question of can I do the Sugar Impact diet while I'm pregnant? And ditto the same for the virgin diet is absolutely, yes, always talk to your ob, of course. But again, they're going to want to make sure that you are following the diet. And this is a diet that's insisting that you eat lots of non starchy vegetables, clean lean protein and critical again while you're pregnant to make sure that you are getting very clean protein. Okay? Very clean protein. Do not go having high mercury level fish right? Or corn fish. Beep. So thank you so much for that one. I hugely appreciate you dialing in and I love it, love it, love it when you submit a question now if you'd like to submit a question all you do is go to jjvirgin.com ask and you can leave a voicemail for me. And I love hearing from you. Now one more way I'd love to hear from you is I'd hugely appreciate it if you could jump on Stitcher or iTunes and leave a review for me. It helps other bunch and be sure to subscribe and share the show with your friends. This is JJ Virgin signing off and reminding you that you are worthy Dare.

To Live a life that matters.

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