Finding Your Soulmate with Arielle Ford

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Hey, it's JJ Virgin and welcome to the JJ Virgin lifestyle show where we'll connect with some of the coolest people in the world. Plus, I give you tips that you can put into fast action to up level your health and your life. Now, today's show is all about finding love. Yep, finding love. I've got Ariel Ford with me today. I'm gonna talk about her in a minute, but I actually heard her speak use some of these techniques and credit her with how I was able to find my soulmate, Tim. So let me tell you a little bit about Arielle and I will also tell you that the information she's going to give you here is applicable in a variety of different areas of your life. Your romantic soulmate, but also just how to have better relationships in general and how to be better with yourself. So Ariel has spent the past 25 years living and promoting consciousness through all forms of media. She's the author of the international bestseller the Soulmate Secret. Manifest the love of your life with the law of attraction. And she's also got the turn your mate into your soulmate, which offers a groundbreaking shift in perception, showing couples how to have a deeper, more loving and more fulfilling relationship. So she's been called, you'll love this. The cupid of consciousness and the fairy godmother of love. She lives down the street from me. She's a neighbor with her husband, her soulmate Brian Hilliard and a bunch of cats. And again, she's got a great book, highly recommend this those books. This is the gal who really helped me just make that decision, know what to do and go out and get my soulmate. So again, today's guest is Ariel Ford. So let's do it. Ariel Ford, welcome to the show. I'm so glad you're here with me today.

Oh, thanks, jj. I'm super excited to talk to You.

Well, you are, like, the queen of this subject. When I interviewed you in the past, I was like, this is. This is the most amazing information I have ever heard. And you deliver it so well. So I'm really excited to have you on talking about your soulmate, especially now that I actually believe in them. Maybe that's step one. You got to believe in one. So let's just dive in to what a soulmate really is.

Oh, good. Yeah, it's one of those tricky words. So a soulmate, this is my belief, is somebody that you can first and foremost be completely yourself with, somebody with whom you share unconditional love. And when you look into their eyes, you have the experience of being home. And so the truth, jj, is that we all already have many soulmates in our lives. It could be our parents, our kids, our siblings, our business partners, our co workers. Even cats and dogs can be soulmates because you can completely be yourself with them, and you share love, and they feel like home. But when we're looking for a romantic soulmate, a life partner, then there's that added dimension of, you know, the person you just know you're spent to, meant to go through life with. So when I say soulmate, that's what I'm talking about.

So I will admit, right before I met my soulmate, Tim, and this is the very first time I've ever had a soulmate, I was ready to settle, and I was thinking, maybe I'm looking for a unicorn. Maybe this just doesn't exist. Maybe, you know, these other guys I'm dating are awesome. Like, they're fantastic people. I just didn't have the thing with them. So, I mean, does everyone. Is there someone out there for everyone? And is there more than one?

Yes. Yes. Yes. So right now, there's 7.2 billion people alive on the planet. You know, statistically, you're. You're running into potential soulmates every single day. So just because you never had one before or you don't believe there is one doesn't mean it's true. You know, Wayne Dyer had that great, great line years ago. Don't believe every thought that you have. Well, when it comes to soulmates, it's especially true. And what you did, jj, that was so brilliant was that you really went out there and went online and asked specifically for what you most desired, what your soul was calling for, and you weren't playing games. You just said, hey, this is who I am, and this is what I need, and that's what you got, and it's the Same thing. It's like if you walk into Starbucks and you say to the barista, oh, I'm thirsty, right? They're going to look at you like you're nuts. But if you say to them, hey, I'd like a tall half decaf, half cab soy latte with extra foam and some stevia, you know that in three minutes, you're going to get that exact drink. It's the same thing when you order up a soulmate. Now, it doesn't always happen in three minutes, although I know of one case where it did. But it's about having clothes, clarity, really having clarity, and then being willing to take a little action and at the same time believe that not only is your soulmate out there, now here's the really fun part. Not only is your soulmate out there, you're already connected to them on the unseen level. And if you want to get into the quantum physics of that, I'm happy to go there.

Yeah, let's go there. Because what you're saying so far, I mean, I totally did. I finally looked at this and went, all right, I've been able to manifest everything that I want in my business. I was able to manifest to be able to save my son. Why don't I just apply the same thing to finding my soulmate? And I'd never really done that before, and I just absolutely did that. And, I mean, how many years, like, 50, 45 years of, like, not finding one? I found one in three months.

Well, that's it. That's my story exactly. You know, I built this incredible business, and then one day I woke up and, oh, my God, I'm 43. I forgot to get married. What if I took all of my, you know, manifesting juju and applied it to my love? Like, would it work? And it did. And it works for everybody I know. Whether you're 18 or 85. Actually, I know one. One woman who did it at 90, and she manifested a 68 year old. They're blissfully in love. So, yeah. So here's the quantum physics. So quantum physics believes that there's a unified field. They don't believe it. They've actually proven it. There's this unified field, or what Greg Braden calls the divine matrix. And in this field, there is no time. There's no past, present, or future. There is only the now moment. Additionally, we are all already connected to everything and everybody. So when you know and trust that on the unseen level, you and your soulmate are already connected and all there is for you to do is to close your eyes and go into your heart and start a conversation with them today and just say to them, hey, I'm putting out the welcome mat. I'm ready to have you show. Show up in my 3D world in the timing that's most best for you and start the relationship right now, as opposed to living in the hoping, wishing, dreaming, begging, wishing world of, gee, I wish my soulmate would show up. It's much more powerful to live in. Yeah, he's already here.

I know. And I was one of them. Like so many women who are out there who are single, who in so many. I have so many girlfriends who are so smart and they're successful and they're single and they don't want to be. What's going on?

Okay, so there's a couple of things going on because that's pretty much my entire audience, and that's who I was. And so a lot of them have what I call love blocks, and they're unconscious. They don't even know they have them. And it could be anything from, I don't really believe there's anybody out there that can meet me in the way I want to be met. And this actually comes out of both fear and ego. You know, how is it that God created 7.2 billion people, yet there's nobody good enough for you out there? The other part of it is that they love working. And when you're working, when all of us women are working, we're in our masculine energy. And it's fun and it's exciting and it's exhilarating. But if you want to be with a masculine man, you have to learn how to shift out of your masculine energy into your feminine energy and be open and willing and receptive to allowing a man to come in and love and support you. So that's a learned skill. And then the other thing is, it's about going into action. Like, you and I, we know how to work. We know how to put in the hours. Right? And I bet you your girlfriends do, too. But if you ask them, honestly assess for me, how many hours a day are you working on your love life? It's not even minutes.

Yep. I mean, that was my big revelation. And the other thing, I will tell you, that helped me with all of this. I had that revelation. I'm like, okay, I'm just going to make this the most important thing. You know, you focus on expands. But the other thing was I remembered hearing an interview that you did, and I'd love you to share this, because it just, it stuck with me and it was, it was that you're not going to find your soulmate if you. There's no room for him.

Right? Yes. Okay, so that's. This is what I call feathering the nest and making space. You know, just like, you know, how long ago did we plan today's interview? Like, probably six weeks ago, right? We had a plan. JJ and Arielle are getting together on XYZ Date. And yet what I tell single women is get out your calendar and start blocking off time when you're going to be going on dates, even though you don't know with who or when or how you're going to have these dates. Start making the space in your calendar. Then start making the space in your home. You know, even if you're saying, I'm never ever going to live in the place I'm in today with my soulmate, you got to make room for them. So if you've got a two car garage, start parking on your side of the garage. Why? It sends a message to the universe. I have room for another car here. If you're sleeping in the middle of your king size bed, move over. Make space in the closet. Empty a drawer in the dresser. Make sure the nightstand on his side of the bed is empty. Give him half a shelf in the bathroom cabinet. Make physical space. Now. Why do we do this? Because nature abhors a vacuum. And just like, you know, when you clean out your closet and you throw away clothes, the next thing that happens is suddenly you get new clothes. So making space is critical to the process.

I thought that was crazy when I heard it, but, you know, I was like, hey, I'm one of those people. I'm going to do some. I'm going all in. And I did this. And it totally worked. It totally worked. I mean, that, that was just more of that energy of this is what I'm going to have and here's, here's where he's going to be. And you know, it was interesting as Tim actually went and got a new bed. He did the same thing. He had it all set up where, like, you know, there was room in the closet. He had one side of the bed and the bureau, nightstand all set up. There was room for me as soon as I got.

And the reason for this is because you were both living as if your behavior was following your belief. You both so were committed to and trusting that, yes, your soulmate was on the way, that you were living in the now. Yeah, well, of course he's going to show up any day. And of course, I need to make sure there's a place for his toothbrush, and he can see that I have room in my life now. I remember your story. It took three weeks to get to your first date, but at least you did. At least that first date sealed the deal.

And then we were basically together from that moment on all the time.

Right? As it should be and as it can be. Now, not everybody knows on the first date. I would say that's the exception, not the rule. And here's why. Women fall in love between their ears, and men fall in love with their eyes and how they most feel energetically when they're with a woman. So quite often, I encourage women, like, if you go out on a date and it's not great, don't say no to a second date unless he totally grossed you out. And the reason, here's why. Because men are nervous, we don't understand how nervous they really are because they look all swagger and confident and all of that, but the truth is, they don't often show up great on a first date. But if you actually invest the time to get to know them, you can begin to fall in love with them. So if you're saying, well, there's just no good men out there, well.

And if you're saying that, guess what you'll get? No good men. Right? And this is important, Arielle, because I wasn't, like, blown away by Tim on the first date. I was like. I was, like, neutral.

Right? And that makes sense, because you needed to get to know him. You needed to see his heart. You know, I deal with a lot of very New Agey kind of women who, number one on the list always got to be spiritual, which just makes me gag, because men are spiritual different from women. You know, when women say that, the women I know, when they say they're spiritual, it's because they go to hot yoga, they drink green juice drinks, they read Deepak Chopra books, and they understand the law of attraction, so they think they're spiritual. But the truth is, you may have a man who's never heard of any of this stuff isn't interested, and yet he's on the board of Big Brothers, Big Sisters, he's coaching Little League, he likes to take walks in nature. He feels very connected to whatever he considers to be God. And I would guarantee you that chances are he's more spiritual than the ones who claim to be spiritual, because he's living it. I warn people, when you say you need a spiritual man, you need to not only be specific about what that means, but you have to ask yourself if the fact that he meditates, is that going to make my life better in any way? It might make his life better whether he does or he doesn't. But will it contribute to your long term happiness? Just like height, a few inches here or there isn't going to contribute to your long term, you know, happiness, nor will the kind of shoes that he wears or the color of his eyes. When you're making your soulmate wish list, you got to get really clear what it is you want to spend your life with.

Yeah, and I wasn't. I did not have spiritual on that list, but I did have someone who was into personal growth that would like, you know, work on themselves and talk about how they felt and, you know, has. Has done the work and will continue to.

That was important for you. And I have other friends, some of whom, you know, who are deeply into personal growth. One of them met a cardiologist out in the desert. He had never heard of personal growth, but he was saving lives every single day. And he was deeply connected in a way. And once she introduced him to our world, he took it like fish to water. And now he's the first one to sign up for every workshop. So, you know, you just want somebody who's open. They may not be aware of it now, but they're open to step through the door. Or it may be something that you're just working on for yourself. They're happy with who they are. They treat you like a queen. They're devoted to you. You can have this shared vision for a life together, and they may never go to a workshop. So I'm just. I'm just saying, yes, be open to possibility. Right. Don't be rigid about it.

I'm glad you said that, because one of the things that happened as I was first thinking I'm looking for a unicorn, is I kept thinking, am I being too rigid? And so when I went through, it was like, have to have and nice to have and absolutely don't want, you know, And I just made sure I wasn't being too rigid on the have to haves, like, you know, out there. Like, I had to have someone who was healthy and ate well and was fit, because that just is who I am.

Listen, jj, on my list, I had had to have English as a first language and had to be able to walk unassisted. Why? Because I grew up in South Florida where the official language is Spanglish and nobody ever talking the same Language, and I only speak English, and communication is my core value. And two, I like to go for walks every day. So while I certainly wouldn't not be friends with somebody because they have troubles walking, I knew that my soulmate was somebody I'd go for walks with every day of my life. So you can be that specific. So what I call these is must haves and deal breakers. Like, for me, a deal breaker was a smoker. I'm allergic. That was a total deal breaker. But I must have was healthy lifestyle, you know, honest. You know, I wasn't. I wasn't gonna be with a player. I'd done that.

Oh, gosh, no. Yeah, I think all of us have probably been there and done that, and we don't have to do that again. So we can cross that one off the list, the learning list. So I'm gonna throw a curve ball here. What's the one thing that you do every day, Ariel, that you feel makes the biggest difference in your life?

I take a bath every day. And the reason I take a bath every day is because I just feel most me when I'm in warm water. And I'm most creative, and I feel like I can connect to my purpose and my mission and my own heart. So I take at least one bath a day, sometimes two. So being in water is important. And the other thing that I do every day is I have a very big spiritual toolkit. So when I get upset or angry or frustrated or have negative thoughts, all of which happens at least once a day, I'm still very human. I can release myself quickly. So I've trained myself. Whether I'm doing eft tapping or doing a heartmath, heart lock in or the Sedona method, I get myself back to neutral into heart centered as quickly as possible.

So I've been tapping in the bathtub.

Is like steroids.

I thought I was like the crazy person. Now I'm like listening to this, going, oh, okay, because I thought, I'm so smart, I'm going to be tapping in the bathtub. So I'm totally with you on those baths and. And tapping the bathtub has just taken to the next level for me. Now, I know you kind of mentioned some stuff about understanding men, and I'm super excited about what you have for everybody. So let everybody know about the chapter that you're giving them.

Yeah. So the biggest mistake I come across with women, whether they're in a relationship or not, is that they tend to interact with men as if they're women, you know, like or what Alison Armstrong calls the hairy versions of ourselves. And the truth is, men's brains are wired very differently. And if you know that and you know how to talk to them, you can get almost any anything you want out of a man if you know how and when and where to talk to them and what words to use. So in my latest book, Turn youn Mate into your Soulmate, I have an entire chapter called Understanding Men. And I give you all the little secrets and they're super easy to learn and implement and you can get it for free. And I know you're going to give everybody a link to go ahead and download it instantly.

Yes, I loved that when you mentioned it. So you go to jjvirgin.com forward/ariel and you will get that chapter. And this honestly was one of the biggest shifts that not only helped me with my relationship with my ex husband, in fact, that was the shift that now turned him into one of my best friends instead of an adversary. It also made major impact on all of my male relationships, my sons, people I work with. So this is just key information that you can use to everywhere.

Yes. It's really useful and it just, Yeah, I use it with guys all the time. And I'll give you one of the hints. So guys like to win. That's one of their core things in life. They want to win. So if you're somebody who's complaining about yourself to a man, oh, I've gained five pounds or my hair looks like shit today, or I just did the stupidest thing, he's losing when you're doing that because he chose you, you know. So if you want to complain about yourself, do it to a girlfriend, but don't do it to your guy, you know, because he loves you and he thinks you're great just the way you are. Does that make sense?

Totally makes sense. Totally. And that's why we have girlfriends.

So there you are.

And I just want to remind everybody, grab this. And just in case they don't know how to spell your name, it's going, you're going to jjvirgin.com forward/arielle, and that's a R, I, E, double L, E. And of course, it will be in the show notes. So, Arielle, thank you so much for joining me today. It's been awesome, as always.

Thank you. Really fun talking to you.

So after the break, I'm going to be answering a listener's question, so stick with me.

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Now this is the time where I answer a listener's question. And today's question is one actually that's come up a lot, both around spouses, partners and kids. And it comes from Joan in Riverside. She writes in and by the way, you can write into my Facebook page at JJ Virgin Official on Facebook. She writes in and says, jj, I'm following the Virgin diet and I'm trying to get my husband on board, but he just doesn't want to do it. What do I do? How do I get him on board? So this answer might surprise you, but the last thing you want to do is turn your, your dinner table into a battleground. And so what I do is, and this is what I've done in my own household is I always make the options there and available, but I don't create a war around it. And what's been interesting is as I've done this, my kids have just adapted to and adopted my eating habits. But I never made it a battle either with them or with Tim. Luckily, Tim was pretty darn close to how I was eating and then just made that shift over to what I was doing. So the first thing I say is stock the house with healthy choices and try to get the enemy out of the house. If there's something that they just love and they're going to insist on bringing in, if you can at least have it out of sight, that helps a ton. Or like the occasionally when I used to buy my son ice cream and my ex husband ice cream because they loved it. Well, I knew that they liked mint chocolate chip and I can't stand it. So then I would bring in, I'd bring in one that I didn't really like, but generally I taught them to go out, they were going to go do some stuff like that. I mean, just the nice thing about most of us is if we can't see it, we're not gonna, we're not gonna eat it. So ideally don't bring it into the house, but hide it and then just put as many healthy options around as possible, but don't make it a battleground either. So. And you're gonna find, and I hear this all the time from people as they're cooking from the Virgin Diet Cookbook or the Sugar Impact Diet Cookbook. If you don't make a big deal about it, the big question family asks is, why are we getting such great food? So I've built a lot of these things to just be simple swaps that just are still the things that you love to eat, just healthier versions of them. So that's the other piece. So the big takeaway is don't make a. Don't make a war over it. Just introduce healthier options. And I've seen this work easily and all of a sudden they turn around, they go, why? How did I get healthier? There you go. If you'd like to submit a question, just head over to my Facebook page @jjvirginofficial and and I have a favor to ask. It would help so much if you could go on Stitcher or itunes and leave a review for me. And while you're there, be sure to subscribe and share it with your friends. I always like to pay it forward. Let's all get healthier and happier together. All right, this is JJ Virgin signing off and reminding you to live courageously. Show up, step up. You are stepping stronger than you think.

Hello listeners, this is Anne Bogle, author, blogger, and creator of the podcast what Should I Read next? Since 2016, I've been helping readers bring more joy and delight into their reading lives. Every week, I take all things books and reading with a guest and guide them in discovering their next reading. They share three books they love, one book they don't, and what they've been reading lately. And I recommend three titles they may enjoy reading next. Guests have said our conversations are like therapy, troubleshooting issues that have plagued their reading lives for years and possibly the rest of their lives as well. And of course, recommending books that meet the moment. Whether they are looking for deep introspection to spur or encourage a life change or a frothy page turner to help them escape the stresses of work, school, everything. You'll learn something about yourself as a reader and you'll definitely walk away confident to choose your next read, with a whole list of new books and authors to try. So join us each Tuesday for what Should I Read Next? Subscribe now wherever you're listening to this podcast and visit our website. What Should I read next podcast.com to find out more.